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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Brady
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.
Brett
And.
Brady
And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com sickness.
Eric Schwartz
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brady
He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 time now for Brady to give you all that news that Brady knows called the Brady. Before I got peanuts, Toledo bought a bunch of peanuts. Now I'm chugging the same thing. Terrible decision to put a thing of salted peanuts near us because a you think you're just gonna have a little bit, you're gonna eat the whole bucket.
Toledo
Yep.
Brady
Love them. Fantastic. But now it's all jammed up in my mouth. I got a dentist appointment later today. Gotta brush out a bunch of peanuts. Anyway, it's time for only news Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. And then we say Brady reporter.
Brett
Good Thursday morning, Chief Phoenix. Hello, world.
Brady
Hi.
Brett
Happy national word nerd day.
Brady
Okay, I don't know what that means.
Brett
It's celebrating the use of words. Words. Being a wordsmith like myself, you are.
Brady
Kind of the king of the word nerd. That's all you. All right? Don't choke on that. Stop eating, Brett. You're gonna die over there with the word nerd.
Brett
Couple of basic fun facts. Light bulbs in New York City, subway and other train systems have left hand screws that backward. Design is to prevent people from stealing bulbs to use at their home.
Brady
So they screw in the opposite way.
Brett
Opposite way.
Brady
And no one can figure that out?
Toledo
Well, they have to change the sockets.
Brady
Oh, I thought bulbs.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Okay.
Brett
No, the only way you can put them in.
Brady
Gotcha. Yeah. So the bulbs, like they could steal them. Right. They just can't use them at home. But that's a thing. People steal light bulbs for home use in places?
Brett
I guess so.
Brady
I've never seen that before. I know, Mother. Yeah, they'll steal anything.
Brett
Eleanor Roosevelt refused to let Secret Service member travel with her when she was the First Lady. She just carried a pistol.
Brady
She went out with heat in the hand. Nice. I'd like to see that now. And Melania walking around with her own gun, handling some stuff.
Brett
The guy. That guy that invented cotton candy was a dentist from Tennessee. William Morrison came up with an 1897.
Brady
The Agent.
Brett
Dr. William Morrison, and that premiered at the 1908 World's Fair.
Brady
Cotton candy.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
This is cotton candy. History Only Brady. What is it again? It's the news. Only Brady knows the history of cotton candy.
Brett
This is pretty good. Someone threw us out there on Reddit, I believe. But what stats about your life would you like to see after your death?
Brady
Oh, how many times I beat off?
Brett
That would be a good one for you. How many times I almost died without realizing it?
Brady
Oh, there's a bunch of those. How. How many times I ate a bug in a restaurant or anywhere? Really?
Brett
How many times I made someone feel good about themselves without knowing it?
Brady
No, that's dumb.
Brett
Number of people who were attracted to me while I had no idea you bailed out?
Brady
How many? How many chicks you missed out on.
Toledo
Now you don't want to know that.
Brady
I don't want to know. Yeah, because then you find out. Like, what?
Toledo
I could have scored that piece.
Brady
She wanted to do what now and then I want. If that's the case, then I want to scale from this statistician on how easy that kill would have been. Would it have been almost impossible if Christy Greenway was a go and I didn't know it? Was it a green light no matter what I did? Or was it fragile? Like, could I have really screwed that up? She was interested, but how interested?
Brett
Top five songs I listened to, plus how many times I heard each.
Brady
What song did I hear More than any other while I was on the planet.
Brett
Yep.
Brady
What do you think it would be? And not something stupid like Happy Birthday. It's just like. You hear that?
Brett
Well, no. That you go out of your way to play.
Brady
Well, not something that you. Something you're forced to hear or beyond that, just what song did I hear more than any other song while I was on the planet? Not that you went out of your way to get it. And there's probably a possibility that that's why it would be your number one, is that you did play it a lot yourself. But what song did you hear more than any other song while you're at Mantle?
Toledo
Probably that effing Mariah Carey Christmas song.
Brady
That's out there a lot. Well, we're in radio, so we would have to think to ourselves that the, you know, 30 years of being around. Yes. That I've heard disturbed down to the sickness has to be on my list.
Toledo
You shook me all night long you shook. Because even before we were in radio. Yeah. Still playing it.
Brady
Wonder if ACDC's on my. How often it was near me. I bet you that you're probably right. Something off an album like the Gang Celebrate.
Brett
You think that's up there?
Brady
No kidding. How often do you hear that? Hopefully you've heard that in the last 30 years. Is it happening?
Brett
Oh, at least two or three times.
Brady
I hate to break it to you. You're probably getting a daily dose of acdc. It's probably at least twice a week without even knowing it. I don't think you're hitting cool again. Yeah.
Brett
And then in 23 years here, and then the. Yeah, another 20 that's up there.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
You might have found it. How many times did I walk past like a buried treasure or a gold dou and missed it?
Brett
Total pounds pooped along with the biggest one I've ever done.
Brady
Great stats. Is this what happens the first day in heaven as they break down your. Your career?
Brett
This is a. It's not a stat, but person said, I want a gallery of pictures where I'm visible in other people's photos without me knowing.
Brady
What do you mean?
Brett
Like how many random pictures?
Brady
Why would you want that?
Brett
Who cares how many times I used each letter of the Alphabet?
Toledo
These people are boring.
Brady
You know, it's a weird one. This is a weird one for me. Whatever happened to my old cars?
Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brady
The life of cars that I no longer have. Where do they go? I remember it was really a weird, fascinating thing. There's a listener who ended up buying my one of my old Jeeps. Not from me. Yeah. And he's like, this is your old car. And it was a two door black Rubicon that I loved it. And then he. And then he sent me a picture of it. And it hurt me because it was on its side.
Brett
And you see those stories every now and then where the guy, Papa John, 80 years old, gets his.
Brady
Papa John got his original car back. I want to know. My first car was a 1986 CJ7. I don't know where it is or what happened to it, but I want to know its life after I got rid of him in 1991. Where's Whitey? Where's Whitey? One I call it. You have something for me or you're giving me a little.
Toledo
Do not, do not, do not play.
Brady
What you have going on. Turn it off.
Toledo
You'll see it in a little bit.
Brady
You're doing the videos?
Toledo
Yeah, Just double checking the last one.
Brady
That's a great thing to.
Brett
How many times my body successfully destroyed a cancer before it could take hold?
Brady
Probably zero. I don't think your body does that.
Toledo
I don't want to know that either.
Brady
I don't think your body destroys cancer. Does it? Sure it does.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
Without cancer shows up and your body goes, I got this.
Brett
It could be.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
Trying to get in there. I mean, it.
Brady
What do you mean trying to get in there? It's not knocking on the door. It's in there, gets beat down. We don't have an immune system. Cancer. That's why it's. Yeah, we answer. We do.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
Cancer comes and goes.
Brett
It can. Some can be, you know, go away because your body.
Brady
Without treatment.
Brett
Sure.
Brady
I've never heard this before. That you can just. I had cancer. I didn't do a thing about it and went away. My body fought it off.
Brett
I think your body has to eventually fight it off when it, you know.
Brady
The cancer usually wins. Well, treatment is the thing.
Brett
I know. I'm saying beyond treatment. I mean, there's always that time where the cancer. How do you. You know the cancer that goes away on people?
Toledo
What goes in remission or.
Brady
I've never heard of that.
Brett
Remission. One thing. You haven't.
Brady
No. Somebody's diagnosed with cancer and they just go. And then it went away. Did you do anything? Not a thing. I'm pretty sure that's not a thing. That you find out you got cancer, you don't do anything, and then it disappears.
Brett
I think your body fights it off.
Brady
Doctors very rarely say, let's see what your body can do with this. You get diagnosed with cancer, there's a plan.
Brett
But how you get it to begin with because your body couldn't fight it off.
Brady
But that's cancer.
Brett
But not everyone gets cancer because your body can fight it off.
Brady
But it's not that you always have cancer. Not everybody gets Parkinson's. But it's not like you're fighting off Parkinson's.
Brett
I think your body can heal. I mean, that's the eventual thing. I mean, we're. We're figuring out medicines to help make it go away.
Brady
You just brought up the key word sounds holistic medicines. Your body will. Will need help. That's treatment. That's different than your body fighting it off. I've never heard of it. Maybe it's a thing. But I don't know. Too many. I don't want to trust too many doctors that I go in and you're like, looks like you got a little cancer in there. Your body will handle that.
Brett
I think what, I think what I'm.
Toledo
Saying is like, with treatment, it can go into remission.
Brady
And that's treatment, though. That's not your body.
Brett
But your body also can, you know, because it's not everyone that gets cancer because their body can fight it off.
Brady
But that doesn't make any sense. Then you didn't have cancer because the.
Brett
The body is able to prevent the cancer from.
Brady
Then you never had it.
Brett
Well, but that comes down to the. But how the people that get it.
Brady
Yeah. Need treatment.
Brett
Well, because their body couldn't fight at all.
Brady
No, because they did. The other people didn't get. If you don't have the flu right now, it doesn't mean you're constantly fighting off the flu. You just didn't get it. That doesn't mean your immune system. You just weren't. You just didn't get it.
Brett
But there's people that are around, you know, you can be around people that have the flu and not get it.
Brady
And it didn't get them.
Brett
Because I think your body.
Brady
Because your body can fight off colds and flus.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
Cancer is not one your body does real well with. I don't know if he's picked up a newspaper over the last hundred years, but that's been pretty much a guarantee across the board. You go to the hospital, they find cancer in your blood. The suggestion isn't, let's just see how you do.
Brett
Because I mean, the medicine is enabling your body to be able to. It helps your body fight it off more.
Brady
I don't think because you didn't get Cancer. It's because you were so good at fighting it back.
Brett
It's just sort of a certain way you're more susceptible. Or it's in the family or the.
Brady
But if you didn't get it, it isn't because it was in there and your body just pushed it away. Yeah, there's genetics, there's behavioral issues, but. Yeah. Doctors telling you oncologists are very rarely like, I don't know, call me in a couple weeks and see if it gets worse. Pretty much.
Brett
No. They're not. Once. I mean, you know, some of that stuff. Once it takes. Then you have to treat it.
Brady
But you're saying it's always in there.
Brett
It's. It's.
Brady
And your body's just pushing it back.
Brett
I think somebody.
Brady
So you're saying only weak people get it. Nice.
Toledo
Oh, what a dick.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
Yeah. That's what he's saying. Really deep down, what you're saying is your body couldn't. Your body lost that fight. That's why you got it in the first place. You. And now you need a doctor's help. Not like Brady. He hasn't had cancer the whole time. Stronger than you. Cancer.
Brett
But all the people that worked with asbestos over the years.
Brady
Right, but that. But you're talking about. Yeah, it's cellular. Holmberg's morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brett
88.
Eric Schwartz
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Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement.
Brady
What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.
Larry McFeely
Is that a big deal to get done?
Brady
Not at all. It takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do it while you wait.
Brett
That's awesome.
Brady
I'll say.
Larry McFeely
Where AMCO Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.
Brady
A whole lot more.
Diane Fisher
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Michael
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Brady
So it's not like it's not like your body's fighting off and isn't it.
Brett
Preventing it in a way?
Brady
Yeah, it doesn't always work because the cells will end up. Your body's actual immune system will actually increase it.
Brett
But isn't it building up? I mean for the cancer is fighting off the whatever white blood cells versus the red blood cells?
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
No, but you're talking about having cancer at that point. And very rarely once you have cancer, your body's not fighting that off.
Brett
Let's talk about Something as important on the heels of yesterday's conversation of the telephobia, where the younger generation is having a tough time answering the phone, or they have the anxiety, the fear of Nottingham College in England is offering classes on how to make phone calls. The main focuses are phone etiquette and phone confidence.
Toledo
Well, if this radio thing don't work out, we got a teacher job in teaching how to use a phone, for Christ's sake.
Brady
I got a real sell. I got. I got a real chicken egg thing going on here. On the emails too, because it is. There is the idea that your body's constantly working to not get sick.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
But once cancer's in your system, you've got cancer. So you never fight off cancer when you have it. But your body churning along at optimum rates means that you're probably not going to get it.
Brett
And I've always looked at it or felt similar to the statement that your body fights it off. Potentially.
Brady
You're bringing it in. Once you've got cancer, it really won't fight it off.
Brett
Isn't that.
Brady
No, your body doesn't fight that off. People die from skin cancer.
Brett
I know, but some people could be exposed to the same amount of sun or whatever.
Brady
That's genetically, that's genetic differences of melatonin and pigment and everything else. But. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's the chicken egg that. Yes, your body is always. If it's churning along well, your odds of getting cancer are less because your immune system, your body's stronger. But once cancer enters your body, I don't think your body has the ability to like, get rid of it on its own.
Brett
Well, there is. I mean, there are cases.
Brady
Well, I mean, you're talking about those weird miracles.
Brett
No answer to it, right? Like, wow, there's usually went away. Vietnam is paying people to report bad drivers up to 200 a pop or 5 million dong.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
If you see someone texting and driving or running a red light, you can report them. You get 10% of whatever the fine is.
Toledo
Yeah. That just leaves the door open for dicks just to report you. Like, if they don't like you, it's.
Brett
Got to be crazy calls that would come in. Scientists tracked People's Health for 10 years, split them into three categories. People who only drank coffee in the morning, people who drank it all day and people who didn't drink it at all. The morning coffee drinkers had a 16% lower risk of dying for any reason and a 31% lower risk of dying from heart disease compared to the non coffee group. But the benefits disappeared for people who drank coffee all day. So having your last cup before noon, save your life. Moderate coffee drinkers.
Brady
Cheers.
Brett
It's all the biggest benefits. You're having coffee right now saying, do it and stop. Afternoon.
Toledo
Yeah, I don't understand how those people that drink coffee all day long, especially in the summertime. Oh, I just work in a shop where a guy did that and to.
Brady
Get in the middle of the day.
Toledo
10 degrees, 3 o'clock, he's having a cup of coffee.
Brady
I'm. People told me in my, you know, ah, you get in your 40s, you'll start liking coffee. Is not, not the case. I've never liked the taste. I hate it. I think it's. It's so bitter and gross. I just don't like it. Coffee does nothing good to me either because I'm immune to caffeine for some reason. I've been guzzling so much soda my whole life.
Brett
Did you see Mexico's president's response to.
Brady
The Gulf of America? Don't care. What? Yeah, that's what. That's the president of Mexico. Hola, Claudia. How are you doing, huh? Hola. Shalom.
Brett
She said it should be called America America Mexicana.
Brady
Oh, she's compromising. Yeah, she didn't dig her heels in on Gulf of Mexico being theirs. Yep, the Gulf of Americana Mexico.
Brett
And says, doesn't that sound great?
Brady
How about Trump didn't even get any D around. She hit her with his D and she's like, all right, all right, all right. How about if we compromise instead of just going, it's Gulf of Mexico, which I would have done if I was the Mexican president. I got to hand it to him. If Trump's a decent person, he'd be like, you know what? All right, the Gulf of America, Mexica. Whatever you said, lady Amera, Mexico, America, Mexicano. Whatever. But the fact is that she didn't just say it's Golf of Mexico. Shut up. Not anymore. Gulf of America.
Brett
This guy, Clint Ferguson from Louisiana.
Toledo
He.
Brett
Was out and about driving and yelling racial slurs.
Brady
I got interrupted because these are good emails. Said, your dendritic cells eat cancer for breakfast. Only pussies don't have that. That's right, you're weak ass. If you get cancer, it's because you're weak. Brady was right. Oh, my emails are ridiculous right now.
Brett
Yeah, so Clint Ferguson was out in the neighborhood in Louisiana. He's a white guy and he was yelling stuff like, I hate the N words. Yelling.
Brady
It oh my.
Brett
He got arrested for disturbing the peace. But it looks like some of the neighborhood got a hold of him before he got arrested. Yeah, here's his mug shot.
Brady
Oh yeah. No, you. Well, you start shouting out that I hate n words thing out your car window, you're going to get your head bashed.
Brett
And where was he at in Louisiana?
Toledo
Well, there you go. Come on.
Brady
That's a 50, 50 shot. You're too close. When I was on my ride along, we pulled up at McDowell and 16th or 44th Street. McDowell and 44th Street.
Toledo
Knocked out.
Brady
And these. Yeah, he did these 16 year old, 17 year old kids pulled right in front of the squad car and one of them put his head out the window and started screaming at a friend of his. You know, the N word was involved a lot and he was just cursing and screaming. I think he had a homo F word in there. And the cop I was with, Ben just goes, you gotta be kidding me. Like we're the car behind him. He's not. He doesn't see us. Hits the lights and that kid's face turns. He looked back and like, oh no. And Ben was like, do you realize how much what you could have just had happen to you if I wasn't behind you? Are you the dumbest person on the planet? You can't do that. Oh, it was a friend of mine. It's like you were shouting that loud enough that we heard it with our windows up. The wrong people heard that. You're in big trouble. They were. You want to talk about ghost white kids? When those lights came on in Kenosha.
Brett
Wisconsin, 32 year old Tyree Carter was arrested for whacking off in a Piggly Wiggly grocery store. Workers called the police and they got there, they. One of them said, yes, I saw him. He whipped out in one of the aisles and then left his man mustard on the floor.
Brady
No.
Brett
Jimmy John's is bringing back its Kicking Ranch sauce in several ways, including as a soup.
Brady
Oh, from the boys.
Brett
It's a six ounce soup size container of the sauce that's ideal for slurping, sipping or dipping.
Brady
I thought you meant the soup like soups, like the superhero. No, no, that's different. For your hoagies Said, dude. Do you even lift, bro? Work out your anti cancer muscles. Pussy. Vincent. You're right. You're right, Vincent.
Toledo
Skip Cancer day.
Brady
I'm not arguing that your body doesn' fend off cancerous stuff. Yeah, because your cells can be that. But I am saying that you don't have cancer yet. But Once you have cancer, you no longer can fight it off. So once you get the diagnosis, you've got cancer. It's not up to your immune system.
Brett
So much the body, you can't wear it down.
Brady
Or once you have it. That's my argument. Like once you. I want to talk to an oncologist. It's an interesting thought because when a doctor says, doesn't it require.
Brett
I mean, it requires your body to.
Brady
Your body's constantly fighting.
Brett
Yeah. Does it actually fight it off?
Brady
But it doesn't fight off once you have cancer. Things that make you susceptible to cancer, it pushes back as long as it can until it becomes cancer. So that's chicken egg to me. Like. Yes, you'll have cancerous cells and cancerous things and things like that. And your body fends it off as long as it can. But once it becomes cancer, can't do anything about it. I mean, so that I'm going to go over to the oncologist later today and he'll be sitting there smoking. What are you talking about? Pussy. You're strong. You won't catch it. Only weaklings get the big C. Brady was right. It is pussy disease. I'm thinking about changing the name in honor of Brady. To people with cancer. To Big pussy Americans. That's what we're gonna call them. Wimpy pussy cancer havers.
Brett
Yeah, because, I mean, I also thought it that way because at least in the. As we get older, our bodies get weaker and we're more susceptible to.
Brady
Right.
Brett
You can't fight just like any animals.
Brady
That are gonna get you.
Brett
Like cancer as an animal gets older is probably the most prevalent.
Brady
You're more susceptible to breakdowns. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you had.
Brett
Cancer and fought it off, weakening in a way.
Brady
Oh, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You didn't have cancer, but your body was strong enough to keep it. But it wasn't keeping cancer out because you didn't have it yet. You know what I mean? So once you have the diagnosis, I've.
Brett
Built up an immunity in a way. I drink like a six ounce cup of cancer every morning. I'm up to that.
Brady
I like to find. I like to go to cancer wards and just chew tumors. That's what I do. And me and Brady are out there all day long. Like, where's your big C war? They got a lot of sickies today. Oh, we got some people all bubbled up. Give me some of that cancer. Blood cancer in a cup. Followed up with a rare tumor.
Brett
A tumor A day.
Brady
Get me one of those geoblastomas. Just, you know, sear it on each side. I'm going in.
Brett
You can buy them at a wet market.
Brady
Yeah, you walk in there and just see all those people just with a. How you pussies doing today? Get the cancer free, fellas. Wandering through real quick and eat your tumors.
Toledo
Step aside. Step aside.
Brett
Yeah, bitches. I'm Dr. Bogan with a cape on.
Brady
I don't need no mother medical science. Mash tight. Yeah. All right. It was an interesting thought, though. It's not done. My head's still spinning on it. But it's weird. You have the videos that we said?
Brett
Oh, I have two quick. First one's a WNBA highlight.
Toledo
I think this is it.
Brady
Oh, highlight, highlight or. Yeah, or video proof it exists. Is it a highlight? This is the cancerous argument again. Is this a highlight by definition or just videotape of a WNBA activity?
Brett
It's a play I've never seen before.
Brady
Okay, could be a highlight. Holmberg's morning sickness. Here we go.
Brett
It's pretty basic.
Brady
Let's play ball, ladies. We're just inbounding. What are you doing? Oh, I've seen this. Inbounds to the wrong person. And. And then the girl that she inbo bounds, too, misses a wide open shot because he's the only one on the floor at the time. Keep in mind, we're in the fourth quarter.
Toledo
She misses.
Brady
Anyway, keep in mind, it's 41 to 29 in the fourth. It's a great play.
Brett
High scoring game.
Brady
Oh, yeah, no, the 41. I lost the over under on that. Just on one team.
Brett
Last one's a kid's getting hurt at a petting zoo.
Brady
Guy in a Red Wings jersey or something. Oh, and he's one of those goats. Takes down a two year old.
Toledo
Let's watch that again.
Brady
Grandpa. Lift the baby up by its heart. Oh, that's.
Toledo
That's the skull of that kid.
Brady
One more time. One more time.
Brett
That's at the Quantum at Nara Deer park in Japan.
Brady
Oh, my God. Well, that's Joey Buttafuoca. What's he doing in Japan? Oh, that might be my favorite video in a long time. I mean, that kid just learned to stand on his own, like, a week ago, and then they put it in front of a ram.
Toledo
Now he's Caleb from Shriners.
Brady
It deboned him right there. I think I could put this on a loop and watch it all day. Especially the way granddad just scoops the.
Brett
Kid up by its chest.
Brady
That's all Right? You're all right. You're all right. You've been rammed before.
Brett
I thought it was a red wing shirt, too.
Brady
It's just a red jersey. Grandpa is that is.
Brett
It's almost like a Corvette logo.
Brady
That was hilarious.
Toledo
And we got some good ones.
Brady
Don't put your barely walking kid in front of a head butter. Those are notorious headbutting creatures. And they're occasionally going to remind themselves that's what they're supposed to. They're not supposed to be pet by children. Occasionally, they're supposed to smash into you with. You know what? I bet you that goat smelled cancer in that little weakling. Tried to knock it out of him. That's funny. I want to watch it again.
Toledo
I deleted. All right, I'll find.
Brady
We'll watch it. We're going to watch this a lot today.
Brett
Is it funny? The first thing you think he's like, immediately picks him up like a chest.
Brady
Just grabbed him by this little kid chest and flipped him up and that's pretty awesome.
Toledo
All right, we got. We got some videos today.
Brady
All right.
Toledo
Oh, you do Crandall's back again for a little while. So we'll start with his back again.
Brady
There we go. His first video.
Toledo
There's.
Brady
I don't know what's going on. Two midgets. Two midgets dressed in lingerie and, like, schoolgirl outfits kicking a naked man in the balls as he lays on the ground. Oh, is there sound to this?
Toledo
Oh, there should be.
Brady
Yeah. Oh, my goodness. There you go. No, there's no sound. Brett, you're killing me.
Toledo
Sorry.
Brady
That would have made some interesting little squeaks and. All right, let's try this, boy.
Toledo
See if this one's good.
Brady
Oh, here's a lady sitting on a massive butt plug. Oh, my goodness. That thing's four feet long.
Brett
And she.
Toledo
And here it comes.
Brady
Here comes the rosebud. Brady up, sucked it back in. That thing's four feet. Oh, she just gave birth to her. To her own bottom.
Brett
That's the rose right there.
Brady
It'd be great if that kid shot out of there.
Brett
Welcome.
Brady
Oh, man.
Toledo
That's incredible.
Brady
Does this go on for a while long? She just knocked the butt plug down onto the ground.
Brett
Well, I think she went through a lot there. She's definitely relieved.
Brady
Treated the top one better than the bottom one.
Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brady
The top one still looks a little bit like a paper cut.
Toledo
It's not as thrash.
Brady
The bottom one looks like Mick Jagger's lips.
Brett
It's double camel tip.
Brady
Yeah, yeah. She can get a 360 degree camel. That's awful. All right, next.
Toledo
I don't know what this is.
Brett
Acupuncture.
Brady
It's in a penis pump. And he's added a bunch of pins to the penis pump. So while he's in there and he swells up, the pins that are poked through the side of it are going to go through his goods as it swells. And now he. And these are long needles. Holy Moses. These are good 3, 4 inch needles that he's pulling out of this dome. Okay, stop. Oh, that could be happening in the apartment next to you this morning. Stop it.
Brett
One here.
Brady
There must be 30 needles in there.
Toledo
Let's go. I'm just skipping ahead.
Brady
Oh. Oh, he pulled all of them out. Now he's taken the little snow globe off of his pee pee, which is profusely.
Brett
It did not work. It did not get any bigger.
Brady
Oh, it looks like Kennedy's head. Oh, God. Oh, man. No. Why?
Brett
Poor little hedgehog.
Brady
Oh, that little guy. All he wanted to do is just have a little fun.
Toledo
And this one. He wants to see how long Brady can last with this video.
Brady
Okay, okay. It's a Brady litmus test. It's a beautiful Indian lady kissing a pretty woman's exposed. Oh, now she's pooping in a cup. She just pooped in a cup. Little chocolate mousse.
Brett
Oh, come.
Brady
They're enjoying the. This is very reminiscent of two girls.
Brett
One cup, 25 seconds.
Brady
It is two girls, one cup, 20, 25. Nope, she's. She's spinning it around. She's spitting poop around in her mouth. Swallowed it. Now she gives a big smile. Oh, they are. Pause this. Okay, all right, well, I. Go back a little bit. Go back a little bit. There you go. Look, look, look. Oh, you're missing. Go back again. That.
Brett
That's not real.
Brady
It's a feces French kiss. This is just two girls. Modern times reenacting Two girls, one cup in her mouth. Yeah, this is the Two girls, One cup. You know what this is called? Two girls, One cup. The next generation. Look at this one. Oh, look at that. Go to the very end. No, no, no. Watch the video. Look. Go to the very end again, Brett, where there's just a whole. Look, look, look, look, look, look. Just face it.
Toledo
We're just getting started.
Brady
That's the modern.
Brett
That's it.
Brady
I never got more. You know what, Brett? Can't Hollywood come up with new ideas? We're just rehashing all the old videos. That's just two girls. Two new girls. That's like The Top Gun reboot. You don't need to reboot. Two girls, one cup. That's. It's. Come on. It's like remaking Star Wars.
Toledo
Here's some. Only fans advertising.
Brady
All right, so green haired lady walking down the road. Oh, now she's doing a thing in a casino on a glory hole slot machine. Where in the world is that dude? There's gonna be a guy laying.
Toledo
It's just a dong.
Brady
Oh, that's. Oh, she's just playing with the dong all along.
Toledo
Vegas.
Brady
So she's sticking it to stuff and then performing on it on escalators and exercise. That's her only fans page.
Brett
Training video.
Brady
She goes around with a simulated male phallus. Yes.
Toledo
This one gives a new meaning to beating off.
Brady
Oh, man. Oh. Oh, he's. Oh, he's got it on a rubber mallet. He's taking a rubber mallet to his bp and it is. His prostate is very healthy. He's got it strapped down to a board. And it's just this constant. It looks like the truly Nolan thing is just smashing into his peepee. Oh, my God. They live amongst us.
Toledo
This one, what would you. This one says, John, what would you do if this happened to Tony Romas?
Brady
My old Tony Roma's day or the restaurant? I don't know what that is. Looks like a woman with a beard. And she's performing on herself. And there's the doh there. Now she's peeing and it's at a restaurant and she's. I think she's putting it in a Pepsi cup. Oh, that is an ugly lady. But now she's scooping it up off the table and like putting it back down on the ground. She's like trying to clean the table, but it's. It's like somebody spilled the water. Except for it isn't water. And then she's just kind of scooping it out of the floor. This isn't a booth.
Toledo
Wipes it in her hair.
Brady
This is a boost in a restaurant.
Brett
Look at that.
Brady
Right on the floor. She's just pushing it off. All right, then we'll.
Toledo
We'll finish with this one, will we? The. This is. This is science. This should have been for Brady Science News.
Brady
Okay.
Toledo
Brady's kids should have saved it, but.
Brett
Yeah, yeah.
Brady
All right. Okay. It's a close up of a B hole. And we're going in. We're going.
Toledo
We got a camera.
Brady
Oh, God. They put a camera in her bottom and then. And they turned it around. And now she's being.
Toledo
This is Science.
Brady
And now she's. Now her boyfriend is the. The marriage dance with her. But the camera's inside getting a view of the incoming, we'll call it. What a fascinating idea that was between the two of them. And now she's got to get the camera pulled out of there.
Toledo
Dripping.
Brett
The camera exiting. Worst thing I've ever seen.
Toledo
Oh, I can go back to the other one. If you want to see that one.
Brady
Ask him. Brought to you by Askam. All right, no more of that. That's enough.
Brett
Good enough.
Brady
Oh, my God. They're out there. Brady, they're out there. Look. Yeah, these are the. These are. It's. It truly is. Look at that. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. Oh. Oh, man. You just missed it.
Brett
But I've seen it.
Brady
The Two Girls, One cup reboot.
Toledo
There you go.
Brady
It's time this generation. There you go. There's Brady's new screensaver. It's a girl with what looks like a fist of feces on her face. Turn around. Look. Turn around. Look at that. No, you need to see this. This is beautiful. This is art. Turn around. Look at that. Just take a peek. Take a peek at that. Come on. He's spinning. Slowly he turns. Step by step, he's on. It's worth it.
Toledo
That might make the video.
Brady
I don't know why that doesn't bother me, but that Asian lady eating those flies made me throw up. And that doesn't bother me because it's so absurd. Like, I just know that's never gonna happen anywhere near me. Yeah, the flypaper thing. Somebody could do that.
Brett
Exaggerated.
Brady
Yeah. It's just so out of the realm of possibilities that my brain doesn't even accept it. I can watch it for the pure comedy of two girls, one cup, 20, 25. Who would have thought that? How do you get a friend?
Brett
Hey, have you seen Two Girls, One Cup? A video that came out about 12, 15 years ago?
Brady
Sure. You know what we should do? Oh, my God.
Brett
This is such a good idea.
Brady
Let's do it. And they do it. Yep. There's been a lot of bad remakes, Brett.
Brett
Imagine.
Brady
That's not one of them. No.
Brett
Slipped into one of your wedding videos that you had to play the music to.
Toledo
I would laugh. Oh, man.
Brady
What if you. What if you recognize the bride? You're like, hey, I've seen her before, and I can't quite place it. And then she starts eating chocolate cake, and you're like, oh, yeah, there you are. You were in a video I saw. Ah, that's enough of that. All right, we're all done with it.
Toledo
I would call you guys immediately to show up to that wedding and show you that.
Brady
Oh, I. I would have a tux.
Toledo
Yes.
Brady
At the ready. Be too big. It'd be filthy. There'd be like a. I'd be there. The girl from Two Girls, One Cup, 20, 25, is getting married to a dude named Brent. And it's about to happen.
Toledo
Remember that chick that was. Snort that.
Brady
Yeah, she's here. I just watched her drink milk. I know it's her.
Brett
Who's the dude in the tux and the guy in the shorts.
Brady
She's put the straw in her nose to drink the milk. It's her anyway. All right, that's enough. I need to reset. I'm gonna go get some more peanuts. There you go, everybody. It's 98K video. There goes your Brady report. Holmberg's morning sickness. Eric Schwartz gonna join us in a little while. We're gonna talk to him just moments. I believe he's at the improv this week. And we'll talk to Eric in a little bit. But before that, Brady, I have to say, you're getting beat up on the cancer debate. No, no, no. About what the Mexican president said. She did not say to rename the Gulf America Mexicana. She said parts of the United States. She actually was. So I thought, wow, what a wonderful thing that she heard Trump say, name it the Gulf of America. And she said, well, let's just compromise, call it America Mexican. No, she said, hey, parts of the United States, then if we're going to change some names should be called America Mexicana. Because the whole northern region of this used to be that and that's ours.
Brett
That was way off.
Brady
So, yeah, it was one of those deals. She was not as cool about it as we thought. She was basically trying to take a swing.
Brett
It was a. Yeah, swing back.
Brady
It's in 1607. The constitution. Constitution of at pat is again, was a Mexican American. So let's just call it that if we're going back to that. I do you know that somebody said it's not like he's trying to call it the Gulf United States. It's part of America Central and North. And I'm like, I'm fine with it. I just. I'm fine with call. I'm not fighting back. I just don't know that it's high on our priorities. I don't care. I don't think that that was something. America's gonna go, finally, we fixed that. Although if you did change the name. I'd put a flag up for that. I think that's pretty awesome. I'm all for conquering, it seems like conquering the Gulf of Mexico for no reason when no one was really fighting back. Like, this is ours now. It's got a new name. It's like, oh, is there a reason? No, I felt like it. Okay, that's pretty great. I'm in on that.
Brett
Just get the Panama Canal back. I mean.
Brady
You mean the American Canal? I'm in on that. Yeah. Green America. We're going to change that green land to green America. Going to be great. It's 824. We'll talk to Eric in just moments. He's musical. Did he bring any instruments? Is he going to sing for us as well?
Toledo
I'm not sure.
Brady
All right, Eric Schwartz gonna come in here a little bit. I'll tell you right now. He's a handsome man.
Toledo
I already seen a picture.
Brady
He's a damn good looking gentleman. I'll just say that. Google him while the brakes on. And don't think we haven't noticed that Toledo got an endorsement with a bread company. We're going to talk about that a little later too. It's 90 KUPD.
Larry McFeely
It's not weird.
Brady
It's pretty cool, actually.
Brett
No membership fee.
Brady
I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: January 9, 2025 Title: Reddit Thread Sparks Cancer-Fighting Conversations & Mexico’s President Responds to Trump's Gulf Naming
Introduction
In this episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" on Arizona's #1 morning radio show, John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo dive into a Reddit thread that ignites a heated discussion about cancer and the body's ability to fight it. Additionally, they tackle the recent response from the President of Mexico to former President Trump's proposal to rename the Gulf of Mexico. The hosts blend humor, insightful debate, and current events to engage and entertain their listeners.
1. Reddit Thread: Life Stats and Cancer Conversations
The episode kicks off with a Reddit thread prompting users to consider what statistics about their lives they'd like to see after death, aiming to inspire conversations around cancer and its impact.
Key Highlights:
Life Statistics Suggestions:
Transition to Cancer Discussion:
2. The Great Cancer Debate: Can the Body Fight It Off?
A significant portion of the episode centers on whether the human body can naturally combat cancer without medical intervention. This sparks a lively debate among the hosts.
Host Perspectives:
Brett Vesely: Advocates the idea that the body can fight off cancer instances naturally.
Brady Bogen: Takes a strong stance against the notion, labeling cancer as a disease the body inherently struggles to overcome without treatment.
Discussion Points:
Immunity and Genetics: The hosts discuss how genetics and the immune system play roles in cancer susceptibility.
Medical Intervention: Emphasis on the necessity of medical treatment once cancer is diagnosed, countering the idea of natural remission.
Controversial Remarks: Brady's derogatory language towards those affected by cancer underscores the intensity of the debate, drawing criticism from co-hosts.
3. Political Spotlight: Mexico’s President vs. Trump’s Gulf Naming
Shifting gears, the hosts examine international politics, specifically the President of Mexico’s response to Trump’s proposal to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.
Key Points:
Trump’s Proposal: Former President Trump suggested renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, sparking diplomatic tension.
Mexico’s President's Response:
Analysis:
Notable Commentary:
4. Offbeat Segment: Viral Video Critique
Injecting humor and levity, the hosts review and react to viral internet videos, including infamous clips like "Two Girls, One Cup." This segment showcases their dynamic chemistry and ability to entertain through reactionary humor.
Highlights:
Brady’s Commentary: Provides comedic relief by mocking and exaggerating the absurdity of the videos.
Group Dynamics: Playful banter and teasing among hosts keep the segment engaging despite the unsettling content of the videos.
Conclusion
The episode concludes with John Holmberg teasing upcoming segments and guests, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor, debate, and current events coverage. The lively discussions and diverse topics exemplify why "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" remains a staple for Arizona's morning commuters seeking both information and entertainment.
Notable Quotes:
Brett Vesely on Cancer: "How many times my body successfully destroyed a cancer before it could take hold?" [08:05]
Brady Bogen's Stance: "Cancer comes and goes...But cancer is not one your body does really well with." [08:22]
Political Commentary: "She said it should be called America America Mexicana." [20:06]
Humorous Rebuttal: "Only weaklings get the big C. [...] It is pussy disease." [24:27]
Key Takeaways:
The episode navigates complex topics like cancer biology with a mix of serious debate and humor, reflecting the hosts' distinct viewpoints.
International relations are discussed with a light-hearted touch, making geopolitical issues accessible to the average listener.
The inclusion of viral video reactions adds an element of unpredictability and entertainment value, keeping the audience engaged.
Listeners are encouraged to tune in weekdays from 5:30a-10a on 98KUPD or via the 98KUPD app and website for more engaging discussions and entertainment.