01-09-25 - Entertainment Drill - THU - w/Dale Hellestrae - Dale Announces This Year's Bonnaroo Lineup

Summary

Summary of Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 01-09-25 - Entertainment Drill - THU - w/Dale Hellestrae
Release Date: January 9, 2025

Introduction and Local Comedy Highlights

The episode kicks off with host John Holmberg enthusiastically promoting upcoming comedy events across Arizona. At [00:00], Holmberg details performances at various venues:

• Tempe Improv: Featuring Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling from Friday through Sunday.
• Desert Ridge Improv: Showcasing Sarah Weinschenk on Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday.
• Stand Up Live Downtown: Hosting Lil Rel throughout the weekend.

Holmberg encourages listeners to secure tickets via the respective websites, setting a lively and informative tone for the morning show.

Sports Banter: The Phoenix Suns and NFL Feuds

Transitioning from comedy, the conversation shifts to sports, igniting a spirited debate between Dale Hellestrae and Jeff about the Phoenix Suns. At [01:09], Dale humorously accuses Jeff of being "evil" for his critical stance on the team:

Dale Hellestrae: "He's evil. Sitting right here."

The hosts delve into the financial frustrations surrounding Suns' management and ticketing, with Dale lamenting the missing funds from a full-season payment:

Dale Hellestrae: "It still stings that that money's missing."

This segment showcases the hosts' passion for local sports and their ability to engage listeners with relatable frustrations.

Celebrity Gossip: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's Divorce Drama

A major highlight of the episode is the in-depth discussion about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's finalized divorce and the financial aftermath. The hosts break down the staggering $17 million value of Lopez's engagement rings from five different partners:

Unknown Speaker: "That brings the total tally for JLo under engagement. Six rings from five guys worth a total of 17 million."

Dale humorously refers to Lopez's ring collection, likening her to a fictional character:

Dale Hellestrae: "She's Gollum."

The conversation navigates through the complexities of high-profile divorces, the symbolism of engagement rings, and the potential for rekindled relationships, all while maintaining a light-hearted and entertaining atmosphere.

Brooke Shields' Personal Struggles and Memoir Insights

The hosts turn their attention to Brooke Shields, discussing her upcoming memoir where she reveals personal health challenges. At [06:13], they talk about her labia reduction surgery performed at 40 to address discomfort and chafing:

Unknown Speaker: "Brooke Shields is releasing a memoir on Tuesday... she got a labia reduction surgery due to discomfort, bleeding, and chafing."

Dale expresses empathy mixed with humor about the unsolicited surgical additions:

Dale Hellestrae: "If you woke up from like back surgery and the guy's like, I added a couple inches. You're not gonna sue anybody."

This segment provides a candid and respectful discussion on personal health issues faced by celebrities.

Bonnaroo Festival 2025: Surprising Lineup Announcements

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the unveiling of the Bonnaroo Festival 2025 lineup. Jeff announces controversial additions like Insane Clown Posse and Bloodhound Gang, much to Dale's surprise:

Jeff: "Insane Clown Posse will make their Bonnaroo debut this summer."

While acknowledging that they won't be headliners, Dale and Jeff exchange playful banter about attending the festival and exploring the diverse range of artists, from Luke Combs to Megadeth and Nelly. Dale humorously suggests:

Dale Hellestrae: "Let's go see Glorilla."

Their enthusiasm highlights the eclectic nature of Bonnaroo and engages listeners with the festival's varied musical offerings.

Light-Hearted Fun: Debating Favorite Fonts

In a delightful twist, the hosts engage in a quirky segment discussing their favorite fonts. Dale admits his affection for Comic Sans, much to Jeff's amusement:

Dale Hellestrae: "I actually do kind of like Comic Sans."

Jeff counters with Times New Roman, while another host prefers Verdana. The playful debate culminates in Dale encouraging audience participation:

Dale Hellestrae: "Dale, get on the font game. Everybody's doing it."

This segment adds a fun and relatable element to the show, allowing listeners to connect over everyday preferences.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dale Hellestrae: "She's Gollum." ([05:06])
• Dale Hellestrae: "If you woke up from like back surgery and the guy's like, I added a couple inches." ([07:43])
• John Holmberg: "Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday..." ([00:00])
• Dale Hellestrae: "Dale, get on the font game. Everybody's doing it." ([10:42])

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends local entertainment news, spirited sports discussions, celebrity gossip, personal health stories, major festival announcements, and light-hearted debates. Hosted by John Holmberg with lively contributions from Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dale Hellestrae, the show maintains an engaging and dynamic format that keeps listeners entertained and informed throughout the morning.

Transcript

[John Holberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.

[Brady]

For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.

[Dale]

And.

[Brady]

And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com.

[Jeff]

Sickness.

[Unknown]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Dale]

He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. That's the only thing about Dale being here is that he's talking about the Suns, too. You had me all high and mighty on the NFL stuff. I felt great about it. Then you brought up the Suns, and.

[Jeff]

My God, we're not talking about it. Yeah, I mean, did you ever. Did you write a check the beginning of the season or you make monthly payments?

[Dale]

No, I did. I did a full payment.

[Jeff]

Yeah, well, at least you don't have to write a check every week. I don't remember. God, they suck.

[Dale]

It still stings that that money's missing.

[Jeff]

But, you know, you could take me to the railroad room now. We don't interrupt confirmations.

[Dale]

Let me get you in the Rahu room. This won't embarrass me as much, Jeff Dale, because there's nobody in there to see it.

[Jeff]

I was gonna say, do you need reservations anymore?

[Dale]

We can get into the. The Rah rah room is the only place to be. Otherwise you got to watch the game. Yeah, that's a good point.

[Jeff]

Hey, are there any nice sights in the raha room?

[Dale]

Oh, yes.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Dale]

It is becoming a Vegas steakhouse. There's a lot of like people dressing up for the room now.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Dale]

So it's becoming a. Oh, is that what she's wearing? Watch this. And then the next time you go, everybody's going to one up in their game a little. Except me. Yeah, I still look like you wear.

[Jeff]

Jeans when you go.

[Dale]

What I have on right now, except for the sweatshirt will be a sun sweatshirt. I don't care. Now when I do go on an off night, that's not the suns. I'll.

[Jeff]

I'll put a pair of slacks on.

[Dale]

No, no, no slacks. Nice jeans. Like dark jeans that may be from a distance people are thinking are slacks tails and then. Yeah, like a collared shirt or something.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Dale]

Nothing. I'm not going crazy. No suits or anything.

[Jeff]

Have they lowered the prices in there since they sucked?

[Dale]

Shockingly, no. I don't think that that would be something.

[Unknown]

Happy hour special.

[Dale]

Really. There's nothing happy about it. At the end of that 20 riblets, there's my coupons. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical Black self defense training. Ready to go for a new year. New you, all that stuff. I'm not a big one for resolutions, but if you're going to do it, do it right. Don't pick something that's going to bore you in a month. Find something that challenges you on a regular basis. And that is exactly what tactical Black will do. Price is too good right now to pass up to personal training.

[Brady]

Two months.

[Dale]

199 bucks for two months. That's amazing. Hands on work that you're going to get nowhere else. And the stuff they teach you is beyond compare. It's a goofy world out there. No reason not to be prepared while you're in it. ReactDefense.com's the place to do it. Take advantage of this deal while they're still doing it. It's the home of Tactical Black. Brady Entertainment.

[Unknown]

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have finalized their divorce and JLo's keeping the 5.6 million dollar engagement ring.

[Jeff]

5.6.

[Dale]

I don't love it.

[Jeff]

What?

[Unknown]

Ready for this, Dale?

[Dale]

What?

[Unknown]

That brings the total tally for jlo under engagement. Six rings from five guys worth a total of 17 million.

[Dale]

She kept all of them.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

So somebody cheaped out.

[Dale]

She's Gollum.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're right.

[Dale]

Ben brought in six to the 17.

[Unknown]

The second time her first husband spent 130 grand.

[Dale]

Oh, well, that was a long time ago. So in fairness. And I think he was a dancer.

[Unknown]

But you're right to 200,000.

Did a rod give her a ring? Was he in the. In the mix?

It was worth two mil.

Okay.

[Dale]

All right. Jesus.

[Unknown]

Mark Anthony paid six and a half.

[Dale]

Million, so that's 13 million between Mark Anthony and Ben Affleck.

[Jeff]

Well, just. Just.

[Unknown]

Now.

[Jeff]

What about the first one?

[Brady]

That's a good point.

[Dale]

Because he asked her before.

[Unknown]

Well, I said that that was the first one. Spent 130 grand.

[Dale]

No, the first Affleck engagement. Maybe she might. Yeah, she might have handed that one home.

[Brady]

She's a ring collector.

[Dale]

She's a golf. First time you give her a ring, it's as good as gone. Like she's a pawn more than my.

[Jeff]

Damn super bowl ring.

[Unknown]

She's probably not at that house, but Ben, you know, this week, moved into her house because of the fire.

[Dale]

Oh, geez. So they might get married again.

[Unknown]

He might get along.

[Dale]

So if he. If he. If they start. If they rekindle like Brett. I don't know if you know about this, but Brett's parents divorced twice and got back together both times.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

And then we're together at the end, too, so.

[Dale]

Yeah, so.

[Jeff]

And hold. So did your dad give another engagement?

[Dale]

Well, that's a good question.

[Unknown]

No, I think he. I think they just use the old one. Screw this, let's use it.

[Dale]

Smart man.

[Unknown]

They. He added to it, but not crazy.

[Dale]

So does Ben, if they rekindle, have to do it again?

[Unknown]

No.

Another six mil, you're saying no?

I'm saying no.

I think he would.

You're good. You're good with that.

I think he.

Six mil.

[Dale]

I think.

[Jeff]

Brad.

[Dale]

I think at this point, Ben gets to go through her drawer of engagement rings and pick one out. This is your new one.

[Unknown]

Maybe do a new setting or something, but don't get a new.

[Dale]

Why?

[Unknown]

He gets her a new ring. He gets her a new ring. Definitely.

[Dale]

If they get back to less.

[Unknown]

Already collecting rings as it is. So what's another one?

[Dale]

Not one single person listening out there should ever, ever ask Jennifer Lopez to marry them again. She should die an old mate.

[Unknown]

Like, lesson learned rings.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Unknown]

That you're not gonna wear.

[Dale]

If anything, Dale, you should, you know, get your connections together, get Michael Irvin over there, woo her, and then let's find out where that drawer rings is and we'll get. We'll get a little. We'll get a little stingo and we'll steal the rings and we'll pick up dinner. We'll.

[Jeff]

We'll slide in.

[Dale]

We're going and getting those rings. There's $17 million in there for Dale and I to heist. 59 year old Brooke Shields is releasing.

[Unknown]

A memoir on Tuesday. Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old thoughts on an aging woman. When she was 40, she got a lady labia reduction surgery due to discomfort, bleeding.

[Dale]

All right.

[Unknown]

And chafing, but she dealt with that since high school.

Hold on, I gotta find a video.

[Dale]

Her labia were so big, they chafed and bled, I guess. So that's just chapped lips.

[Unknown]

Yeah, well, she got it fixed.

Well, they don't have carmex for that procedure.

[Jeff]

What about a little bit of lip gloss?

[Dale]

Yeah, yeah. Throwing a little. What are they, Betty Bloom or whatever that stuff was.

[Unknown]

The Burt's Bees.

[Dale]

Bonnie Bell. That's the stuff.

[Unknown]

So she went in for that reduction surgery and the doctor says, by the way. Yeah, give you a little twofer. She's like, what?

[Dale]

Tighten it up.

[Unknown]

He did rejuvenation, but she didn't want that.

[Dale]

So you don't have to pay for it. It's a freebie.

[Unknown]

It was a freebie. But she says, I felt like it was. I didn't ask for that.

[Dale]

But he saw.

[Unknown]

Never had that problem. And. And she said surgically raped.

[Dale]

Oh, God. If you woke up from like back surgery and the guy's like, I added a couple inches. You're not gonna sue anybody.

[Jeff]

No.

[Unknown]

Hey, here's a tip, pal.

[Dale]

Thanks.

[Jeff]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dale]

He gave you an extra tip. While I'm out, if you find anything else wrong, feel free.

[Jeff]

I tried to get the doctor to do a two for on me when I had my hip replaced. Says, hey, while you're in there, can you take a little liposuction out? Oh, no kidding.

[Dale]

Is that what's going on here?

[Jeff]

Nah, it's not. He didn't do it.

[Dale]

That's an industrial strength Hoover. If they got all that out, Dale's.

[Unknown]

Got Bonnaroo Festival news.

[Jeff]

I never heard of this.

[Unknown]

Shocking.

[Jeff]

Insane Clown Posse will make their Bonnaroo debut this summer.

[Dale]

You don't know the icp? No.

[Jeff]

Do you?

[Dale]

Yeah, you'd like them.

[Jeff]

The lineup for Bonnaroo 2025 was unveiled yesterday. And here's something you didn't expect to hear, Johnny.

[Dale]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Bloodhound Gang, the Insane Clown Posse You've already said that.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

Is that a. Is that a group?

[Dale]

You'd love them.

[Jeff]

Sadly, they will not be the headliners. That goes to Luke Combs. Olivia. I like Luke Combs. He gave me this because he said, hey, there's a country.

[Dale]

Luke Combs is in it.

[Jeff]

Other act.

[Unknown]

I thought he'd light up a little more, but.

[Jeff]

Queens of the Stones, Stone Age.

[Dale]

Good stuff.

[Jeff]

Glorilla.

[Dale]

Glorill is great.

[Jeff]

Megadeth.

[Dale]

You've never heard of Megadeth?

[Jeff]

I've heard of Megadeth.

[Dale]

What?

[Unknown]

Showdale? Glowrilla?

[Dale]

Yeah. No, I don't need to do that.

[Jeff]

Avril Lavine, Modest Mouse. These are all great big. Have you heard of Modest?

[Dale]

Honestly, it's an independent alternative band. Yes.

[Jeff]

That sounds like a font that nobody's ever heard of. Chuck, Pal Level Foster, the People, Nelly and Natasha Bedding Field.

[Dale]

Wow.

[Jeff]

It's.

[Dale]

You know what? It's like somebody gets hit in the head, and you give them words to read like it's therapy for. I don't know any of these words.

[Unknown]

I will not knock the Brady Report anymore.

[Dale]

Well, at least for today, the.

[Jeff]

The festivities go down on June 12th. John, maybe you and I should find a Manchester, Tennessee.

[Dale]

Let's do it. And we'll go see Glorilla. This is Glorilla for you.

[Jeff]

What? Yeah.

[Dale]

I don't know if we can play it. Can I even play this? There's some Glorilla. That looks pretty good right there. Oh. See?

[Jeff]

Oh.

[Dale]

Huh.

[Jeff]

Yo, Nelly.

[Dale]

Yeah, Nelly's on there, too.

[Unknown]

Dad.

[Dale]

It's getting hot in here. It's getting hot in here. Yeah. You've heard of Nelly?

[Jeff]

I have heard of Nelly, okay? I'm not a recluse, John. I just know stuff that is pertinent. You know a lot of nonsense.

[Dale]

I know a lot. And sentence.

[Jeff]

What's your favorite font?

[Dale]

Well, I actually do kind of like Comic Sans. I didn't want to say it while the comedian was here. You are so weird. Yeah, I like that.

[Jeff]

I like Comic Sans is a. Yeah, it's like on your computer.

[Dale]

I like New Times Roman. I think it makes the point.

[Unknown]

That's the most common one, I think, isn't it?

[Dale]

Yeah. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

[Jeff]

You three idiots talking about font Calibri Bowl.

[Unknown]

He knows.

[Jeff]

Everybody knows fonts.

[Dale]

There's people coming in shouting their favorite font.

[Unknown]

Impact.

[Dale]

What's yours? Futana. He likes that one.

[Unknown]

You got to get a font.

[Dale]

What is it? Verdana. I thought you said Futona. I didn't never heard of it. Verdana. I do know. Okay, I like that one.

[Brady]

See?

[Dale]

Dale, get on the font game. Everybody's doing it.

[Jeff]

Give me block letters. Just give him blocks.

[Dale]

All right, let's get the hell out of here. We're done. Larry's coming in here. He's got his favorite font for you. And you can text him yours. 97936, if you're interested. Oh, you're watching the girl. Look at that.

[Jeff]

Look at that.

[Dale]

Yeah, that's a nice.

[Jeff]

Go ahead.

[Dale]

Gorilla's hot.

[Unknown]

Nice.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Dale]

She makes her butt clap.

[Jeff]

You can't make your butt slap, Johnny.

[Dale]

I can. Yeah, you want to see? I'll show you. Show them the other video real quick. No, let's get out of here. We're all done. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great day. We'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning sickness.

[Unknown]

Hello.

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I've heard enough of this.

College hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with the baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters. The original wing joint since 1983.