01-09-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - January 9, 2025

Introduction Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, hosted by John Holmberg with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delves into a variety of topics ranging from local events to controversial societal issues. Below is a comprehensive summary of the episode released on January 9, 2025.

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Wildfires in California

The hosts initiated the discussion by addressing the ongoing wildfire situation in California. John Holmberg expressed relief that Arizona remains relatively unaffected by natural disasters such as earthquakes and severe forest fires, highlighting the region's resilience.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (02:12): "We live in paradise here. And it's not a nice reason to say it, but my God, no earthquakes."

However, the conversation took a contentious turn as Larry McFeely controversially attributed some of the wildfire causes to homosexual communities, leading to heated exchanges among the hosts.

Notable Quote:

Larry McFeely (03:00): "Eventually, Payson's going to burn itself down. It's an irresponsible group of... eventually they're going to burn themselves down."

The hosts debated the impact of such statements, with John Holmberg cautioning against promoting divisive narratives.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (02:10): "He's evil sitting right here."

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Discussion on Cancer

The dialogue shifted towards a discussion on cancer, where Larry McFeely questioned the body's ability to fight off cancer independently. The conversation highlighted differing viewpoints on the role of the immune system in combating cancerous cells.

Notable Quote:

Larry McFeely (19:38): "You've got cancer, you've got it to fight it off. Your body's constantly fighting it off."

Brady Bogen and Dale Hellstray interjected with counterpoints, emphasizing the complexity of cancer treatment and the necessity of medical interventions.

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Wrestling and Physical Disabilities

A segment focused on wrestling, where Larry McFeely shared anecdotes about wrestlers with physical disabilities. The conversation touched upon the challenges and perceptions faced by disabled athletes in competitive sports.

Notable Quote:

Larry McFeely (42:46): "If you've got cancer enters your body, it really won't fight it off."

The hosts reflected on the resilience and adaptations of athletes overcoming physical limitations, promoting a narrative of determination.

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Font Discussions and Comedy

The episode featured a lighthearted segment on favorite fonts, with Eric Schwartz showcasing his expertise in typography. The conversation evolved into humorous exchanges about commonly disliked fonts like Comic Sans and the significance of font choices in communication.

Notable Quote:

Eric Schwartz (125:05): "We have fonts based on Helvetica. Helvetica is very versatile."

Larry McFeely and John Holmberg contributed with jokes comparing font choices to personality traits and societal perceptions.

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NFL and College Football Analysis

In the concluding segments, the hosts delved into NFL and college football, discussing team performances, rivalries, and playoff predictions. Dale Hellstray shared insights from his experiences, while Larry McFeely expressed skepticism about the integrity of college football due to perceived favoritism and cheating.

Notable Quote:

Larry McFeely (157:03): "College football is a farce. Always has been. Always willing."

The conversation included discussions on specific teams, game outcomes, and the influence of external factors on sports integrity.

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Closing Remarks

As the episode neared its end, the hosts briefly touched upon upcoming events and promotions, maintaining their characteristic blend of humor and candid dialogue.

Notable Quote:

Eric Schwartz (131:27): "Be proud of who you are because society wants to bring us down."

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness encapsulated a wide range of topics, from serious discussions on natural disasters and health to lighthearted debates on fonts and sports. While the hosts maintained an engaging and entertaining discourse, certain segments sparked controversy, reflecting the show's willingness to tackle contentious issues.

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Note: This summary aims to provide an accurate representation of the episode's content while adhering to respectful and inclusive language standards.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.

[Larry McFeely]

And tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too, and you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And and all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core Institute.com college hoops are here.

[Brady]

And there's no better place to catch.

[Larry McFeely]

The action than Hooters.

[Brady]

Fuel up with the baller bundle.

[Larry McFeely]

10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat.

[Brady]

The Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzz balls for a low price.

[Larry McFeely]

This offer is for game days only.

[Brady]

So grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you Hooters.

[Larry McFeely]

The original wing joint since 1983. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne.

[Brady]

Now that it's getting warmer, I turned.

[Larry McFeely]

On the AC in my car and the air's blowing.

[Brady]

Kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement.

[Larry McFeely]

What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Brady]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Larry McFeely]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.

[Brady]

That's awesome.

[Larry McFeely]

I'll say. We're Amco.

[Brady]

Google Amco for your nearest location.

[Larry McFeely]

That's Amco. Double A, mco, Trans missions and a whole lot more. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[John Holmberg]

He's evil sitting right here.

[Larry McFeely]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It is 5:45. My name is John Holmberg. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo as the morning sickness and free of fire. And that's all I've been watching for the last 24 hours. I know that's again, another reason to just say we live in paradise here. And it's not a nice reason to say it, but my God, no earthquakes. The city's not going to burn down anytime soon. Sure, the forests up north, well, Phoenix isn't going to burn down anytime soon. It would have to be like a massive gas explosion. We don't have the hillsides and the, the weird stuff that's just going to burn it up. We'll get a little thing here or there.

[Brady]

Just don't take out the Beeline Cafe.

[John Holmberg]

And we may lose pacing. But you know what?

[Larry McFeely]

I'm going to make a prediction here that probably in my lifetime, Payson's going to lose itself. It's going to be the fault of Pacinites. Payson's eventually going to burn itself down. It's an irresponsible group of, you know, fentanyl addicts. Eventually they're going to burn themselves down. But outside of that, paradise just makes you, makes you look around Phoenix and go, you know what? Pretty damn good.

[John Holmberg]

It's funny, I saw pictures of Carolla doing his podcast in a hotel room yesterday. Yeah, he was posting.

[Larry McFeely]

He hasn't moved yet. Got no house. Yeah, I got nowhere to go. And it is deep down though, watching all this stuff. There is the, the sadness from the newscasters. There's the, you know, the empathy that they're trying to. But they are really kind of liking this. This is a can't help high profile celebrities. They get, you know, big houses, gigantic neighborhoods. They've got political arguments. This is, this is a news dream for the national. I mean, you're burning down Billy Crystal's house. They're happy about that. Deep down, for their own benefits. They're like, oh, Billy Crystal's house went down. That's a headliner. Screw. You know, who's.

[John Holmberg]

Forget Gutenberg. I mean, we don't even know who he is anymore.

[Larry McFeely]

Who's Adrien Brody? Like, I evidently just won a Golden Globe. All right, fine. He's got some streaming show. People remember Billy Crystal? Like, Billy Crystal's house burned out. It is. It is terribly sad. Oh, in Paris Hilton lost her beach home and Malibu. Malibu. She doesn't live there all the time, but it's a beautiful house right there on the water. That's. And she lost that.

[Brady]

Ben got out of his. Ben Affleck.

[Larry McFeely]

See, Brady, look at both of us. It's become a TMZ event.

[Brady]

I just saw it this morning.

[Larry McFeely]

It's like a movie premiere, and they are loving every second of it. And now it's moved over into the iconic Hollywood Hills and is threatening the Hollywood sign. I don't even know. And the Hollywood bowl is just. It's crazy. And then Pasadena, where I used to live, over in that area, so I kind of know that area of fairly well. Altadena's got fires, and it's crazy.

[Brady]

And that Spencer, Pratt and Heidi, they.

[Larry McFeely]

Were the first still alive. Yeah. And I'm like, how in the hell did they have a house in the Palisades? Didn't they spend all their money?

[John Holmberg]

Did the Hollywood Hills sign or the Hollywood Hills fired? Is that a separate thing? Is that. Is this all? Man, I don't even know.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't even know. But when it gets that dry and that many hills and that much brush and stuff, that place is just waiting to go. Where I lived in, when I lived there, I lived in Pasadena and I lived in Glendale, and the house I had in Glendale was on a hillside, and it was really cool. Like, the whole thing was, like, in this little tiny canyon. And it was a kind of a dumpy house, but it was a neat spot. And behind the. Like, my neighbors, when I met them, they're like, come in. Welcome to the area. I'm like, thanks. And I go in, and I see behind their couch, on their main wall of their family room, was a massive picture of what looked like their backyard. And behind it was a humongous fire. And I'm like, what's this? And they go, oh, that was. That was the. The hillside was on fire two years ago. And I'm like, you'd have never known. Like, it looks lush and glorious. Like, oh, it's. It grew back fast because, you know, it's, you know, wet and juicy there, so it's really quick to grow stuff. And it grew itself back, but the fire was within, like, 7 or 8ft of their backyard when he took that picture and he bailed out. And I'm like, how far did this fire going? This whole hillside didn't lose a house. It was amazing. The whole thing was on fire. Didn't lose a single house. He goes up the hill, a few of them went. And this is like, right on the border of La Canada and Glendale, for anybody who knows that spot. So it's hilly and grassy, and I'm like, is this a normal? And I'm immediately like, this is the first day. Is this a normal thing? And the guy's like, trim your palm trees. I'm like, really? And he goes, yeah. You know, anything can spark this stuff. If we've had a dry. A dry spell in the winter. Trim your palm trees. First things first. And then it started to explain to me, like, yeah, it's a fear we live in. Because it was when within feet of their yard, they evacuated the area. And I guess it was like in the 90s sometime. And I was flipping out, and I just. Then you started to see, like. Like where it had charred the earth underneath, where the overgrowth had come back. I'm like, this is. Underneath here is just ash. Like, it's just been burned down.

[Brady]

I mean, imagine, you know, the wind we got yesterday and the night before. But over there with a fire going.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. And the embers floating around. It's terrible. But deep down, let's be honest, the news is enjoying this. To a certain degr, when they got nothing going on, they're like, let's go back to LA and see who's. What celebrities do. We have a big list. Like, these are a lot of B listers.

[Brady]

Anderson get on a plane.

[Larry McFeely]

And Anderson is standing there and raining embers on Anderson Cooper. They're trying to kill that guy.

[Brady]

CEO Corey Feldman or his take his statement.

[Larry McFeely]

Feldman's got us. Oh, my heart. Hold on, Brady. Everybody listens. Corey Feldman's take on the fires.

[Brady]

My heart goes out to all the innocent lives that will be lost in the forest and to the good people that will lose everything and don't deserve this. Though some karma may be at play.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, that's a lot of people saying that. I do have a hilarious clip. I should play it for Toledo and maybe I'll send it to you, Brett, and you can put it up there, because this is. This is worth every second of the news coverage. People blame stuff all the time. You know, I remember golfing with a person a long time ago, and they were talking about the hurricane that had happened in New Orleans. Katrina. And I remember them talking about, you know, blessings from the Lord a lot, things like that. I sent it to you, so we'll.

[Brady]

Get it up the levy breaking.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, beyond that, this. The hurricane had come and gone. And prior to that, the person I was talking to was talking about Jesus a lot and how people, you know, this is good. And then in the next breath, a lot of those people deserved God's punishment, though, for all that, you know, ass play. And basically what she was saying was, if you dabble with the bottom, God's probably gonna flood you, but you gotta.

[Brady]

He's gonna come around.

[Larry McFeely]

You gotta move to a hurricane zone. If you live in an area that doesn't have him, he doesn't know how to kill you. But it was. It was, you know, let's get them all in a bunch. There's a lot of gay going on, a lot of debauchery down there in New Orleans. And she was seemingly somewhat pleased there had been cleansing and she was blaming.

[Brady]

Some of that was coming, the gays.

[Larry McFeely]

Right? And I'm like, well, what about all the people who weren't gay that died? And she goes, too. Accepting. I'm like, well, God bless. That's a beautiful. What a beautiful statement. It's lovely, too accepting of other people's decisions in life. And she was kind of happy that, you know, he had stepped up. And then she started to talk about the year before when Indonesia had 200,000 people die on that Christmas Day tsunami. And she goes, well, when we were there, it was. It was mostly gays then. You saw this live on the news last night. Hang on, hang on. Is that a. What do we got?

[John Holmberg]

Hang on, hang on. I got to kill something here.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, okay. I see. Is that the right. Did I say you got it?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Is that the right one?

[Larry McFeely]

It's. I don't know. It should be. Yeah, let's. This is. I think this is it. So, lady. Yes, I can hear you. So the family with a. With a little. Poor little girl who was. Fire happening right now. Say that again. Why is there a fire happening right now? There are multiple fires that are taking place. Serious. Yeah, yeah. You're supposed to know. Well, I don't know how it started. We don't know how it started there, you know, all the. All the gay people in la. Okay, there we go. Live on the news. Gina interviewing a passerby who blames the homosexuals. I was live on channel 11 in Fox 11 down there, and he just, you know, of course, the lady Happening right now. There are multiple fires that are taking place. Serious. Yeah, yeah. The news though, you're supposed to know. Well, I don't know how it started. We don't know how it started. You know, all the gay people in la, the guy back in the studio. Okay, okay, that's it. You know, though, just stupid. Try to find an area where there weren't gays where that fire was. And I'll tell you right now, they're around it. It's a flaming situation in Los Angeles.

[John Holmberg]

They walk amongst us.

[Larry McFeely]

But I just like. Yeah, exactly. I just love that the news lady's trying to do her job and the guy asks her a question. Why are there these fires? Well, let me get to this passerby real quick. And then you just don't want to. This is why we don't answer the phones anymore as you guys are. Okay, that's that, that's it. But that was that dude's way of saying, you know, too many homosexuals that of course were being punished. They're everywhere. And then the fire leapt from the Palisades over to just north of West Hollywood. And if you've ever been to West Hollywood in your lifetime, you're gonna get some on you. It's just, it's just shooting all over the place over there. It's a. It's the gayest. Awesome.

[Brady]

It'll just add gas to those flames.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh yeah, I'll tell you that. Oh, it's flammable. West Hollywood's flam. I'll tell you. It's the most fun you've ever had though. And if you've ever looked at homes, because I looked at houses when I was there, I'm like, maybe in West Hollywood you go in there and like, this is a, you know, an alternative lifestyle neighborhood. I've never seen nicer homes in my life. Even the cruddy spots were like, this is the most beautiful area and those houses are natural. But yeah, so you can blame the gays for this, I suppose, if you'd like. I'm not so sure I want to believe in any sort of higher power, that that's his incredibly odd way of handling homosexuals rather than just wiping it out. And technically, if that's what you believe, didn't that get. Didn't God kind of give you that? Isn't that part of his plan is to make you. I don't understand any of what you people are talking about, but it gays fault to a certain degree for just being so damn hot and letting that undergrowth just give me. They're too busy dancing and blowing each other to ever cut down all the dry growth. That's for the Mexicans. We're dancers. Yeah. So I, I found that to be quite hysterical as you. When you're watching the news. And, and I think the funny thing is is when the news lady just assumed, oh, this guy's just. He's escaping the fire. He just wants to vent. Let's let him go. This is a great TV moment.

[Brady]

It is the stumper for the news and everyone.

[Larry McFeely]

How did it start? It could be anything. It could be a cigarette. It could be a spark. It could be man made. It could have been a. I don't think lightning strikes, but it could have been anything.

[Dale Hellstray]

But it is a lot.

[Larry McFeely]

But yeah, I'm. And again I'm guilty of resonates more when celebrities are having their houses burned down. Of course then the Internet's as mean as it could ever be by saying rich people losing their homes. Boo hoo. And like anybody losing their house is sad. I mean, I don't care the rich. It'll be easy for them to rebuild. Okay, maybe so on what though?

[John Holmberg]

Tell it to Heidi and Spencer, for God's sake.

[Larry McFeely]

Exactly. Tell that to people who had. You know, I don't care that it's. I'm sad that twelve $20 million houses burned down. I think that's terrible. You don't want. I don't care if you're broke or if you know, to me somebody with $20 million had a lot more nice stuff that burned up. That's not good. They can't replace a lot of those things. For God's sakes. Billy Crystal lost his People's Choice Awards. You can't, you can't just. You know, Billy Crystal's a big name. That's, you know, he's a little B list now. But I mean it's, it's hitting. Adrien Brody was probably the most modern like the most. That's a good one.

[Brady]

Right in his place a long time.

[Larry McFeely]

Who Billy could be. I don't know.

[Brady]

John Goodman.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. John, yeah. John Goodman.

[Brady]

Miles Teller.

[Larry McFeely]

You got some names on this thing.

[Brady]

Anthony Hopkins, man, that's.

[Larry McFeely]

It's. And so when they pray that. And James woods was on all the news last night crying on everything and everybody thinks he's crazy, but you know, again, his house burned down. It's not. It's weird. It's just weird. But to have them find these celebrities and love. Every second of it gets a little. It's almost Sickening. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Billy lived there 46 years.

[Larry McFeely]

It says, no kidding, man. Yeah. So it's ugly. And now it's jumping around. So. And when you see it, like, from an aerial view, and they had the helicopters up last night, and Hollywood's on fire, and then, you know, 15 miles to the east, Pasadena's got fires and Palisades has fires. It's a lot. So those people are going through it. And we here in Arizona have a lot of. In Phoenix, especially a lot of people that come from there and probably have family back home. Larry McFeely's sister that lives in Hollywood. And we were talking yesterday, and Larry's like, I don't think it can jump over there. It's pretty far. But he goes, she's, you know, last night she got evacuated. That fire didn't exist when Larry and I were talking about it at noon, and then they were packing her up. Well, she didn't get evacuated yet. They told her, pack up. It's coming. Like, you're close. And the picture that she sent Larry, that Larry sent to me out of. Out of her window is, look at this. It's right. Right around the corner. Here it comes. And it wasn't there.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, man.

[Larry McFeely]

At noon. And now it's just a whole hillside by her home that's gone. It's crazy.

[Brady]

The report on whether, you know, you hear that the fire hydrants empty, if that. In fact, I don't know, you know, which is.

[Larry McFeely]

It was a pressure issue, evidently, that they had water, but. And they drained some tanks, and then they make it political and everything else.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And, you know, that's the funny thing, too.

[John Holmberg]

Obviously, the homosexuals.

[Larry McFeely]

The homosexuals were the problem.

[Brady]

The fact that the wheel is stuff.

[Larry McFeely]

We can't really talk. But it's the homosexuals that drained all those fire hydrants. They suck out all the moisture.

[Brady]

And they're in charge of the fire department.

[Larry McFeely]

Of course they are. Well, yeah. Have you seen the Village People that. You know, those guys get going and they're the ones buying all the calendars from firemen. Of course, it's the gays. But, you know, last night, I'm watching, and the news is sitting there. CNN's doing it, Fox is doing it, News Nation's doing it, where it's like, who's to blame? Who's to blame? You know, years and years of regulations of a liberal Democratic government in California has caused this. And the Republicans are making it political. Can all things be true? Can't mismanagement over the years have caused something like this for a long time. And also it be a tragedy that we don't have to blame everybody. We can sit back and go, yeah, there's some stuff we could have done different. Doesn't matter now. So maybe in the future we learn from it. Right now it's the big problem is the whole city's on fire. It's crazy.

[Brady]

Even the interview I was telling you about this morning, they interviewed Shazam. Zachary Levi. But he said basically the history of the way Hollywood and LA is run has been this way a long time.

[Larry McFeely]

You can. The hindsight of management of anything has always been. Is bad. It's never going to, you're never going to look back in a tragedy and go, how did this happen? We did everything right. Because it probably wouldn't happen if you did everything right. You don't look back while you're in the middle of a house fire and go, we didn't do anything to cause this. But you always have a blame. But why do it? Like at this point it's like, man, we've been telling you about this and now look, we'll get to that after the fires are over. We don't need. There's plenty of time to start chucking rocks at each other after you put the fires out. And it is, it is somebody's fault.

[Brady]

Because it's not good. When you hear the fire chief say we're just not ready for this. Nobody's ready for this because it's not. Because it's their fault, because it's. They don't have the resources, they weren't given the money, there's nuts or whatever. But to hear it from that person.

[Larry McFeely]

It'S like, man, but it depends on which. Because if you're watching a network where that fire chief hates all the things that that network hates, you're going to hear that news. Because I watched a guy that's universal. I watched a fire guy on CNN yesterday saying it has nothing to do with budget cuts. Budget cuts were so minor, it's a water pressure issue because you're trying to get water up a hill. And he goes, and that's a problem there too. So we had that. Yes, there are problems, but all things can be true. There were screw ups. There are certain things that aren't working properly. You find out what works in tragedy and what doesn't during the tragedy. You'll never know what it's like to fight a 20,000 acre fire. If you've not tested all the stuff for 20,000 acre fires, it's stupid. To sit there and say it's somebody's fault. In hindsight, later you'd be like, you guys should have done something about this.

[Brady]

We told you if, you know water, you know, there's trouble having water pressure run uphill.

[Larry McFeely]

If you've not had. If Camelback Mountain lit on fire today and we couldn't put it out, it would be because we never put fire hydrants. It's never burned before. What were we thinking? This thing's never burned. Billy Crystal lived in his house for 46 years. It's never burned down. So you don't know until it burns down what you should have done differently to keep it from burning down. When you leave the stove on and it blows up, you don't scream at your wife for months and months about the stuff. She made a mistake. There were things that you didn't see coming and probably should have that caused the thing. And then later you can yell at everybody for all the problems. Yes, there's mismanagement, but it's not. It's not the time for that. It doesn't matter now.

[John Holmberg]

You're right that it isn't the time for that. But on the flip side of it, they're. They're always having fires every year. Crazy. Just not in that. Those kind of areas.

[Larry McFeely]

And that's the thing has been very rare and very, you know, in fairness to them, they've been knocking them down.

[Brady]

One house fire, they put it out.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, there was a canyon fire in Malibu a little bit ago, and they knocked that thing out fast. They did a great job. And it's not anybody's fault. Like, we're just. We can't do it. It's just there's a lot of stuff that you're like, well, we didn't know that didn't work until it was too late. And then. And then it's easy for everybody to hindsight it to death. Yeah, it sucks that you find out that it's crap to begin with.

[Brady]

And then you hear stuff like the insurance that they're not sure that they did three months ago.

[Larry McFeely]

We'll see.

[Brady]

No fire coverage.

[Larry McFeely]

I got canceled when I had a house in show low because they're like, risk is a little high for me. I'm like, but that's what I pay you for. That's that risk.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't.

[Brady]

That's brutal.

[Larry McFeely]

The risk is high for me. It's not you that, well, we're getting out of this business. And, like, you're not going to insure not. Not where you're living. I'm like, all right. So I had a very bad insurance company that was the only one that would cover where I was at the time. And then they pulled out because they weren't going to do any more fire areas. And it was a heavily wooded area. So I had to have like. Like, you know, Pacific insurance from Jeff and Dan. And it was like, what they was working out of their house. I'm like, you guys will insure. It's like, I guess we only do two or three houses. I'm like, that's enough for me. Just crawling somebody fingers and I know it's on fire. Couldn't wait.

[Brady]

And that works. So you got people there like, look, this is a tinder box. I'd get out of there right now.

[Larry McFeely]

And I'll be honest.

[Brady]

Stop the policies.

[Larry McFeely]

When I had it, it could get expensive. That show low house was within about a quarter mile of one of the fires that started to go. At one point, I was praying for that bitch to burn down. I was so like, oh, God, get me out of this mess. It was a. It was a. It was a great house, but nothing but trouble. So I was actually rooting for the fire to sweep right over and my fingers crossed. Whenever they kept saying Penrod Road, I'm like, ah, it's like a mile away. Come on, window. Yeah, but it was. It didn't happen. And it's still standing. And the people who live in it now have done a very nice job of making all the problems hopefully go away for them, but man, oh, man. Anyway, no fun. And it's affecting us here in Phoenix because the Los Angeles Rams and Minnesota Vikings might be playing their playoff game in Glendale now. So that's weird.

[Brady]

And the Cotton bowl might be postponed, but that's not because of the fire for the snow.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah, because they got that. I don't care about that. That's huge. Never, ever huge.

[John Holmberg]

Never cancel college football. Who cares?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, why don't they just pick a winner like they do instead of playing the games? Just draw of a hat.

[John Holmberg]

Got a quarter.

[Larry McFeely]

Let's just flip. Yeah, yeah. College football doesn't matter. Ask asu. They'll just. I don't even understand why they go through the rigmarole of the actual game. Play a video game.

[Brady]

Four inches.

[Larry McFeely]

Come on, silly. But if the Vikings and Rams play here at that. That, to me is. That's kind of garbage. I think San Diego should get the game because, well, it's close, or at least St. Louis. There's probably some fans still in St. Louis of the Rams, you got. They worked hard to have a home game all year, and then you move over here and you put them in a division rival stadium. If anybody from Phoenix goes, it would be to boo the Rams. It's. It's garbage. And I know LA fans aren't known for their, you know, fever pitch and loud sounds during a game, but that's why you have home games. So the NFL Senate will put it in Arizona and Minnesota's doing backflips over this. They're going to be thrilled. They're probably going to beat him anyway. But now without any home field advantage at all, and now everybody's got to travel. It's ridiculous. I wouldn't ever want to go to that, would you?

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Larry McFeely]

I mean, I guess if I was a Cardinal fan, I'd be excited because I don't know what playoff football is. And it's like, well, there's still football in January.

[John Holmberg]

Bears fans, too.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah. So all the people who don't have a team here in town that goes, hop on over there and. And, you know, just celebrate the playoffs.

[Brady]

I guess it's a playoff game wins. Have you ever been to one?

[Larry McFeely]

I don't even know. I didn't. I thought they were fake. I thought that was AI.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard of those.

[Larry McFeely]

They're real, they happen. And they're gonna put one here, maybe, but I think it should be in San Diego. Even though that's a tough one, because the travel through LA down close, they just don't want people from LA driving around. And they say it's kind of, you know, it's an exhausting resources to have, you know, 70,000 people pop into SOFI Stadium, even though it's not really even close to Englewood, pretty far down, you still smell it.

[Brady]

But if it causes delays, well, it's even that.

[Larry McFeely]

It's just the look on TV doesn't look too good. And I'm like, welcome to downtown Los Angeles. And in the background, you know, fires are torching major metropolitan areas. It's not going to be time to. Well, the Rams in their home game really bring it home. LA is on fire. You don't want to have those moments. So stuff it over here, have a moment of silence, because that's what the NFL does. And then start selling beer to people and everybody will be just fine. Yeah, I have the. The Rams and Vikings here. It's just. That doesn't make any sense to me.

[Brady]

Was it between us and Vegas, Vegas.

[Larry McFeely]

Would be A good one, too. Yeah, I think we have the first one. The first option was here. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe Vegas has some events that they're like. Well, they get that. What is that big electronics show? They don't need that crap rolling over. Look, we don't want to see the Rams and Vikings here last minute. We've got our own. They could do it though. Anybody could pull it together. Yeah, they're. They're pretty much shutting down football up there. Cardinals are better than the Raiders. Yeah. Yeah. But I would, you know, drop it down and let San Diego have one back. Here you go. Remember us and like NFL, you sons of bitches. Really. And you go back, it's like banging an old girlfriend that you ditched. It's like, hey, can we use you again? You want to use my stadium for you sons of. We don't want you to have a team permanent, but we'd like to use you for a day.

[John Holmberg]

Another kick in the nuts.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. We've had some trouble in our house. We'd like to. Can we spend the night with you? Yeah, all right. Don't call me though. Oh, don't worry about it. We won't once we're done here. And by the way you mop up, we've got. Shouldn't you feel sorry for us? Like our whole place is on fire? But I wouldn't go to that silly game. That sounds stupid.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. Maybe Keim brokered the deal for him. He's got nothing else going on.

[Larry McFeely]

You know, I'm still working deals to get stuff. Maybe they did talk to Steve. Keim, like he's event planning. He thinks he's still got a. He's still got his. I thought you got fired. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm still in charge of like events planning. I got event planning. Come on down, I'll pick you up. We'll bring the bus over, pick up the seams. In fact, my kids football team isn't playing as we can use their stadium.

[Brady]

That's why they interviewed who's in charge of the pre game.

[Larry McFeely]

I'll do it. Yeah, Steve Kime's out there in his underwear with his shirt over his head. Look at me, I'm fiance. I don't think Steve Kime's involved in much anymore other than, you know, destroying a Liverpool. More than likely that's his job right now anyway, so if you got family over there in la, it's rough, it's no fun, so. But I can't keep my eyes away from fire. Isn't Fire is an attractive thing on television when it's not affecting you, it's good tv. It sounds terrible to say that, but it's good TV because it is unpredictable. It's. It's loud. It looks like a thing is. Like it's. It's magnificent. At the same time, it's. It's a tragedy that draws your eye and it moves. That's the crazy part. Like, it'll sit still for a second and then start dancing around, and you just don't know. So horrible. And hopefully everybody gets out. The good thing is it's just houses right now. Only, like, four or five people have died. That sounds bad to say, but it's. When you're burning down that much of a populated area, you tell me, you know, everybody can be mad at local officials. They've done a hell of a job of getting people out of there. From what it sounds like, you evacuate. It's like evacuating most of Tempe and saying, let's get 90,000 people somewhere else today. Done a nice job of that.

[John Holmberg]

Is the Rose bowl actually in danger? Because I know that's right there in Pasadena.

[Larry McFeely]

Altadena is close. It's north of that. It's not. I can't imagine it is, but, I mean, I didn't think that. That, you know, I don't know how dry it is. You got to take a look. But that's in a big arroyo. Like, that's in a big wash. And.

[Brady]

I think it's, you know, all on the. The way the wind's flowing, too, is the big depends.

[Larry McFeely]

Altadena is right next to Pasadena. It's a little bit north of it. So that's the new fire that just showed up again. And it's crazy. It's just. If you look at the map of where they just popped up, they're everywhere anyway. We're not. We're living in paradise. We get to watch from afar because this place rules. It's awesome. That's it. Worst case scenario around here is, you know, we get stabbed in the leg by a guy with a needle at the Circle K because they pop up out of nowhere. So outside of that, we're doing all right. I like it here. Yeah, look at that. That's. It's everywhere. And the Altadena. Is that. That's the new map for the Altadena fire That got huge. Yeah, that was a dot yesterday. Wow, you're not messing around with that.

[John Holmberg]

15,000 acres of Palisades.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, it's. It's Ridiculous. So hopefully those people are doing all right. It's not fun. And here's the other thing. As a true Arizonan, let me say this. Hopefully they don't move here. Hopefully. This is because a lot of the times an earthquake, lands, mudslides, stuff like that, a bunch of Los Angelenos start moving those your property values through the roof. Yeah, you're not going to be able to afford a thing ever again. And then they bring all their dumb ideas here too. Oh, hopefully they find a nice new place. Let's get State Farm. I'll kick in and help State Farm ensure these people to rebuild their houses again. Because otherwise they'll come here. And you know why they come here? Tired of mudslides, earthquakes, you know, we don't have them.

[John Holmberg]

One of those houses, a car PCH just burned.

[Larry McFeely]

Yep, gone. Ugh. It's awful. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. 5859800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD Wago. It's not weird.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Larry McFeely]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 and McClintock, Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it. This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today. Hey everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies.

[John Holmberg]

So we can work together to make.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com It's Dick Toledo and new customers.

[Brady]

Right now on FanDuel.

[Larry McFeely]

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[Brady]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holmberg]

He's evil sitting right here.

[Larry McFeely]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Thank you. Miles to nowhere. We're ready to go. And of course talking about the fires and like Brett just said, off the air, he's like, man, I thought for a while there's social media being able to contact each other through email was going to be a nice thing. But man, 30 years now, celebrating 30 years of most of us having email and then social media coming along in the midst of that in the middle, it really has done nothing for us at all. Things just opened up the door for trolling and craziness. All the emails and I'm gonna comment. Hello, just let them go. This one says about the fires in California. It says California's always had fire problems. Literally every year they have big wildfires. It's only news because it's Hollywood, but it's definitely on government officials and failures of picking up dead trees and brush. Yep. Trump pointed this crap out in 2018 and other huge wildfires. Get over it because millions of property damage has happened. No one gives an AF when it's thousands of acres across the state. Nobody's house burns. That's true. They don't change their policies. They're stupid green deals. And yes, Tragic, but they bring it upon themselves. In most cases, literally no fire. If you could have had water stored from melted snow and rain, but the governor chose not to. All right, all I say is, great. How does that help? Now, this one says, stop feeling bad for these rich assholes. Their house is just like anyone else's. It needs preventative maintenance. That means inside and outside. They choose not to do these things, and that's why they're paying the price for it, plain and simple. But they'll get insurance and they'll rebuild. And remember, some of these houses are just one of many celebrities, so boo effing who. But your first line says, it's their house is just like anyone else's. So at what. What financial level do you no longer feel sorry for anybody whose house burns down? Because I'm one of those people that thinks anybody's house burning down sucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

And then the other ones, and this is where it really goes, you know? Congratulations, John. Your people did it again. First your juice space laser took down Hawaii, and now Los Angeles. Man, People are finding out about our juice space laser, and it's been kind of a thing, you know, Oprah and I got together and said, hey, we haven't fired the juice space laser for a while.

[Brady]

Your lightning worked again.

[Larry McFeely]

Me, the rock. Oprah, I know you're emailing me, so I'm including myself in this, but, yeah, you got that juice space laser. We've been lighting these fires on purpose to burn down Hawaiian stuff. So this one says, john, you're a member of the media. Tell me what I really need to know. How is the porn capital area doing in these fires? That's Chatsworth. And as of right now, as far as I understand. And there's a couple little other areas where they'll do some filming down, you know, by Loyola Marymount, the school and stuff, which is, as far as I understand, porn will not be affected. The distribution and flow of regular porn should be. The filming may be interrupted just a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

They'll just move it here.

[Brady]

I heard they pulled out earlier this week.

[Larry McFeely]

Brady said the joke, don't wiggle around all proud of yourself for that. Look at his face. Just do the slow eye blink. That's. It's not pretty, I'll give you that. Are you gonna do the next jokes, like, paris Hilton's house burned down when she was asked for a quote, she goes, so hot.

[John Holmberg]

He's mad he didn't think of that one.

[Larry McFeely]

Damn it. That's solid stuff right there. Darn it. Yeah, The Porn industry and the porn distribution and the porn flow should be okay. But hey, by the way, there's plenty out there in reserves. One thing we've done that the governor and the government of California has not done has. Yeah, we have stored our porn. We have in case of emergency. We have good solid pumps flowing porn out like crazy.

[John Holmberg]

There's lots of houses over there in TV and everything from the film at no big deal.

[Larry McFeely]

We're going to be okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're going to be fine.

[Larry McFeely]

Porn is going to make it. This one says just an email off the. It said. Hey, Holmberg, I had the pleasure of meeting Kevin from Lerner and Row last night. What a stand up guy. I talked to him about you. He says he never knows what's gonna happen when he comes on the show and that's what makes it fun. The downside about meeting Kevin though was the infamous Charlie Creedle was standing behind us in line at the taco spot. What a KUPD grab you had last night at your taco location. You had the high and the low of 98 KUPD's morning sickness. The sponsor of our studio, Lerner and Rowe, Kevin Rowe, regular on the show, very nice guy. Helps out with a lot of things. So you got the high end right behind you on the other end of the spectrum, and I mean the spectrum. Charlie Fino. Who am I talking one on one?

[John Holmberg]

How was he affording the taco spot?

[Larry McFeely]

Al? There's something.

[Brady]

Kevin might have picked it up.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, he might have. Hey Kevin, you got 10 bucks? I haven't had a taco in a while. Does it mean you'll stop bothering me and not smelling up my area? No, not at all. Here's $10. It says Charlie stood behind us. The smell was horrible. Just thought I'd let you know. Thanks for all the last. Juno's signed, Alex. Well, thank you for your kindness as well. Alex. I haven't you talked to Credel every once in a while. He hasn't.

[Brady]

I heard from him over the. I sorry, Charlie. Well, I couldn't get him WWE tickets. I tried.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, we don't have any WWE tickets for Charlie. No kidding. We should be able to do that.

[Brady]

I thought we would, but I guess we didn't at the time.

[Larry McFeely]

So when is it?

[Brady]

It was last.

[Larry McFeely]

It already happened. Yeah, or when he called you or.

[Brady]

When the event called me about two days before the event. I thought it would be further down the line.

[Larry McFeely]

I didn't know.

[Brady]

I didn't know when it was either.

[Larry McFeely]

Did he call you or is he texting.

[Brady]

Text. Yeah, you know, I heard from earlier, like, Merry Christmas and then Happy New Year, by the way.

[Larry McFeely]

Pen pal. Oh, yeah. You're gonna hear nice things and then. Oh, anything you can do about. I haven't seen Charlie in forever. I kind of miss him. And then I say that, and then when he walks in the room and you smell him, you're like, I don't know what I was thinking. I don't miss him at all. To open your mind, some people smell funny. I don't exactly smell like a better vultus to you. I should smell like a bed of roses. I also saw last night that the Fire canceled the premiere of the biopic about Anthony Robles, the Arizona State Sun Devil wrestler who is a magnificent 96. 0. They made a movie about him. He's missing a leg.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

And so I was watching just a few days before the Fire, that this movie was coming out, and I got a little excited. Although I will say this, then I know he'd kick my ass for it. Well, he.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Larry McFeely]

Anyway, here we go. He wrestled at the legless weight.

[John Holmberg]

There's a legless weight?

[Larry McFeely]

Well, yeah, yeah, because he's missing a leg.

[Brady]

So I think they should arrest her. My experience of having to lose, you know, £30 every season.

[Larry McFeely]

Right.

[Brady]

So if you were like, man, this guy could make weight easy.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. So if he's wrestling, I don't know what his official weight was. He was wrestling. I was like, if. And I didn't see, but my brain started to spin and I'm like, well, I'm less impressed with this. If he wasn't. If they didn't weigh his one leg and then just add that on, and that's the weight he should have been wrestling at. Right. But he was wrestling at whatever weight it was for not having a leg, and legs are like £50.

[Brady]

Yeah. And he's. He's.

[Larry McFeely]

He's a big dude. So let's say his leg was 60 something pounds if it was there. Now, granted, it is a disadvantage to not have a leg, but I was less impressed.

[Brady]

You know, when you're against him, it's a. It's a single leg takedown, which you think would be easier.

[Larry McFeely]

Where's the other thing? Is the wrestlers on the other side had one less thing to grab. So as I started to watch it, I'm like, it's impressive. Don't get me wrong. It's a feat of. You know, it's. But there are a couple of things where that legless thing was an advantage.

[Brady]

You know, he potentially could have, you know, his upper body stronger than me. Super strong. Yeah. I wasn't sure what his weight class was.

[Larry McFeely]

I didn't either. I just know when they said he was wrestling at the weight, I can't remember what it was. I'm like, wait a minute, add £50 to that at the very least for the non leg and give the other 96. 0. That's telling me, yes, he's an achiever with ambition and let none of what slowed him.

[Brady]

200 pound man. But you know, wrestling at 150.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. But the point being is like his brain was strong enough and ambitious enough to get past his issues. That's inspiring. But 96.0also tells me this legless thing might have been sort of an advantage too. Because I mean, right now if I had to wrestle, you know, Joseph, because we're the same weight downstairs, I'm a little bit more nervous. So cut your leg off and you can wrestle Larry. I'm gonna kick the living out of Larry just because I should be 205 pounds, but one leg less. I'm Larry's weight.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm not afraid of Larry. Larry's really?

[John Holmberg]

That's how it ranked?

[Larry McFeely]

Yes. Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, whatever he weighed in on, you're missing a.

[Larry McFeely]

They didn't give him the.

[Brady]

Whatever his weight was.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't want to take away from that.

[Brady]

I mean, if you watch some. I've seen some footage, the dude.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure, sure. Yeah, no doubt. But nobody's saying this because it's, you know, not. It's a taboo thing to say. I think he's a great wrestler. Don't take anything away from him. I also think looking at the record, I'm like, well, you know, after about 40 wins in a row, you're kind of thinking maybe this isn't so much a triumph as it is this dude's taking advantage of the fact there's only one leg to grab and he's throwing down with guys 50 pounds lighter than he should be. I'm just saying that some. That's food for thought.

[Brady]

I get it on both sides because, you know, I can't imagine, you know, the first round where they start up and he's hopping around on the one leg.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah. When you're. Well, you know, look. But again, that's because you hopping on one leg would find that to be very difficult.

[Brady]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

That's all he's got. Yeah, that dude's pretty adept on that leg. It's almost like walking to him. I got a three legged Dog. I'm blown away at what she can do as far as running and how she uses it different than the other dogs. And she's fast, and it's. It'll knock your socks off. How quick she is and how she's adapted because that's all she's got.

[Brady]

And based upon Brett's theory, do you think he could play the piano or.

[Larry McFeely]

Something like that if he put his mind to it. And that's really. Right. And it's only Asians that really. His fingers between. He's not wrong. Most of the time, only Asian amputees are the ones that end up picking up an instrument, like playing the chopsticks and everything else. I don't know.

[Brady]

Right. I've seen videos.

[Larry McFeely]

That's the excitement in the video is when they show some dude with his toes eating sushi with chopsticks. Like, Jes. I can barely use him with my hands. But then you realize he. It's necessity. He has to do it. So it's weird if it's weird. If I picked it up, it's like me going to see Tommy Emanuel the other night. Like, I can't just pick up a guitar and do that. So watching him do it amazed me. Same thing as the Asian amputee. Like, when they start eating rice with their feet and it's, you know, they're clipping out some stuff with the. And their toes are working like fingers. I'm like, God damn. We can accomplish pretty much any. But Brett's right. It's mostly Asians that'll pick up a violin and start hammering out with their feet. You don't see a lot of hillbillies with one leg breaking down the, you know, Nugent songs. And I, you know, I'm not taken away again. I don't want to say that he stinks. I'm not, you know, my theory can be as true as the unstoppable thing.

[Brady]

Yeah, no, at that level, you've got skills.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, you've got skills. There's no question. But at what point will someone ask the. I'm speaking for the wrestlers he destroyed over time, it's like, well, that guy was, you know, incredibly strong. Really strong. Probably should have wrestled at a weight about 40 pounds higher. He was pushing me around pretty good because his body's big and he's missing £50. So it, you know, you cut off a leg and you start wrestling 90 pounders. You've been at 150. You're gonna do some damage. And then that 90 pounders reaching just Scooby doing a bunch of phantom leg for a minute. There's no phantom leg. There's just one leg to get. So. You know, I like to say I want to treat everybody else the same way. I say that all the time. You want to be treated. People with disabilities always say, just treat me like you would anyone else. All right, well then I'm going to say what. What all those other wrestlers talked about behind your back. It's like it's impossible. He's got half his body's missing. What am I supposed to grab? Is it impressive? Yes. Is it also possibly an advantage? Maybe said your first move's gotta be the leg sweep. He's used to that. Like that. It would be that my first move on one legged Brady would be sweep the leg. Because you're going down like a. Like a. Like a toothpick house.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

But when you're stable on that one. You ever see a dude with one leg standing? They don't wobble. They don't at all. They just. They're totally stationary. Their stomach muscles and their core and everything else has gotten used to the idea of them having one leg. So they're just. And they just bounce around and there's never a problem. They don't tip over. They're not like you and I would be if our legs just fell off today. Just saying. 96. Zero. It's worth looking into. Talk to a few of the other wrestlers and going, oh, there's no question he was great. But I bet under their breath they're like, you should have been wrestling.

[Brady]

Maybe that movie answers a lot of those questions too, that you're wondering.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently went to a wrestling camp or something with him or something.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, I'm sure he was amazing. This is a prior wrestler. You're wrong. He didn't have a leg. What are you talking about? I've done training camp with him and he had to make up his own moves. Every match he starts on the ground. Every time anyone gets behind him, lost, loses two points right away. Wrestled at 158 and weighed about 185. If he had another leg, his leg was probably a little heavier than that. My legs probably have 40 or 50 pounds. But you know, again, I'm not saying he's not a good wrestler. I'm just saying 96. Zero begs the question, you know, if a football team suddenly was 96 wins in a row, we'd be like, what's. What are they doing different than everybody else here? It's like, oh, it's that leg Thing. I'm not taking away his accomplishments. I'd have done it too. And I know he didn't have a leg, but, you know, as another wrestler, wouldn't it have been better if he had one? Maybe it would have been so.

[Brady]

I don't know. Does that change up because of that? Because of the one leg they always started down?

[Larry McFeely]

I guess it's an advantage, right? Especially you say that. I'm sure he was a great wrestler. I'm not taking away that. I'm just saying both things can be true. Didn't you wrestle Brady asking some questions.

[John Holmberg]

So is it, is it an advantage or.

[Larry McFeely]

Dude with one leg, if you take.

[Brady]

You know, if, if there's not a stand up round, you know, and that, you know. Yeah, there's a disadvantage for sure. But I would probably want him if we were both up.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure you would ask questions. Can I stand with him for a second? I've got an idea. Yeah. And I know wrestlers will start screaming about that again.

[Brady]

Or maybe they. Maybe they do. I mean, he's starting down. He's not standing on the one leg. He's just down and you're up on the first round. Maybe that's probably what it would be.

[Larry McFeely]

You got me. Because all I know is 96. 0. No matter what I'm saying, there's something going on. That's an impressive record. And nobody wants to say what I'm saying because they're like, oh, you're being insensitive. I'm treating them the same way I treat anybody else. Like, seems like that dude. It's like whenever they get like a mentally challenged person on the mat, the other dude has no chance. You either beat up a guy who's mentally challenged or lose to a dude who's mentally challenged.

[Dale Hellstray]

The.

[Larry McFeely]

The opponent is in a nightmare situation.

[Brady]

I saw one the other day. It was kids wrestling and he's wrestling a girl and the girl pinned him.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And the kid just gets up crying.

[Larry McFeely]

Because other teammates, like, they're gonna kill him for. For a little while. Chick's pinning you. That's rough. I don't care how much you say.

[Brady]

I mean, he was 8 and she was 16, you know, but yeah, well.

[Larry McFeely]

Still, you don't want to lose that. I'm sure he's awesome. And people, it could be a great guy. I don't know. And I'm not saying his accomplishments mean nothing. I'm just saying there might. I'd like to talk to him and go a little bit of an advantage there. Like people, people place their Own feelings. Like if I only had one leg, I'd never get it. So it's the same Brett with the Asians playing guitar. It's amazing to us because we've never even thought about how our legs would bend to play the piano. You lose a leg and you start getting used to that and it becomes your everyday status. And then the next thing you know you're 96 and out wrestling at like 158 with the upper body of a 240 pound man. I just say it.

[Brady]

Oh, he was like a, he's a rock.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Oh, I'd kill for that. If you remember the dude in college football that didn't have any legs years ago and he slam around in his hands, I, it was so fast. High school, college. I ended up in college. He was in high school but he ended up going to college. Dude was a beast, a monster. And he would say out loud, I got, I got the advantage. You think I'm at a disadvantage because I've got no lower body. They can't catch me. They don't know how to block this. Like they're busy training on, you know.

[Brady]

What am I looking at?

[Larry McFeely]

Blocking dummies that are way up here and I'm crawling around on the ground at breakneck speeds. He goes, I have the advantage. That dude was hard to watch because he was so fast. But you know, they figured out a ways and once the speed kind of caught up. Some of those tackles, offensive linemen are like, I don't know what to do with this guy. Can I push him in the back?

[Brady]

What are you talking about? Chop blocking?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. And the second his arms left the ground, it's holding because he's floating like it's easy to get a flag because all you have to do is jump in the other guy's arms. Like if you just spring with your little hands up into the other guy's arms and he catches you holding 10 yards, the guy's a monster. It was, that guy was fun to. I think he was in Pittsburgh. Yeah. He said when I wrestled the robless guy, I was in the same time frame as him. He wrestled at 103 or 112 and he just manhandled everybody. Everyone knew he had an advantage. You started lower than your opponent, that's an advantage. Arms were twice the size as the children he was wrestling at the time. I saw. See, I'm not the only one. I'm saying I'm speaking for the other wrestlers.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's why I said he's like A boa constrictor once. It's so strong.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Another guy said, yeah, that's what I just said too, John. And then this guy says, my daughter goes to Mesa High. I've seen him at basketball games. He is solid. Up top. It was definitely an advantage to wrestle. I'm just asking. This one says, I did watch him wrestle. He didn't start down every time. But the thing was, he wrestled in a weight class. He was way bigger than he was wrestling. 30 pounds lighter than if he had. That's what I'm saying. He always looked giant next to the guy that he was in there with. Yeah, see, I'm not saying. Again, this isn't a WNBA argument. You know, he's a real athlete. I'm not saying that. Where, you know, whenever you talk about the wnba, one of those girls.

[Brady]

I'll show you the difference in a radio video, okay.

[Larry McFeely]

One of the girls always screams out, you couldn't beat us. And I'm like, if that's your, if that's your litmus test for being a pro, is that a 52 year old with two fake hips might give you a challenge. You're not really serious about it. He'd beat me. There's no question. He's a real athlete. I'm just saying I'm questioning the advantages. It's a good. The movie's coming out. They had to cancel it because of the fires yesterday. Mr. Thought things nobody really talks about because it's like not necessarily the most kosher thing in the world to bring up. Thank you. Maybe he had an advantage.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you'd say kosher.

[Larry McFeely]

Of course I would. Don't make me get my Jewish laser out and burn your house down too. Just, you know, I mean, he's a. He's a beast of a man. I mean, I'm giving him all the credit in the world for two things he's worked harder than. Again, Tommy Emanuel. Again. He's worked harder than anybody else. Yeah. That's the reason why he's so good at what he's doing. He's like, he put in the effort to be great at what he is, no matter what's going on. You know, I, I couldn't wrestle because Madong was too big for the outfit, so they always picked the little penis kids to be on the wrestling. I don't really piss wrestlers off, but in order to wear that outfit, you have to have a small penis. I tried out for wrestling and the coach saw me. He's like, you can't be on this.

[Brady]

Can't do it.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm like, really?

[Brady]

That's why I was able to do it.

[John Holmberg]

Coach Morgan didn't let you go?

[Larry McFeely]

No. Coach Morgan's like, we can't get you in there. It's just grotesque. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I. I said, we can't put you in the tights. You'd have to wear, like, dolphin shorts or something. And I wouldn't. I'm like, okay, I got. Is that because I'm a bad wrestler? He goes, no, you're the greatest wrestler I've ever seen, but your dong is gonna fall out, too.

[John Holmberg]

He invites you to bounce the Cowboys with him on the Friday night.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. He said something about bouncing, but I don't know if it was Cowboys. He said, we want to go bounce. I don't remember what he was talking about, but yeah, wrestlers. My dong was too big for the outfit, so I couldn't wrestle. I tried, but if you guys were wrestling, it's because you fit into the suit every time. That's right. I know. I'm gonna get emails, wrestle you to the ground right now. I'm like, okay, stop it. I'm kidding.

[Brady]

Sometimes you double down. You wear long pants underneath the.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, I couldn't see that. My tip fell out the ankle. It was unlike the other wrestlers. I was just too well endowed to do it. And then it was like having another leg. It was. I could get a triple leg sweep. It was tough. It was a really hard thing for me. All you wrestlers that were in the outfit, you know. Yeah, it was an advantage because, you know, you didn't have a dog. That's why chicks can get in there and wear the same uniform. I like when chicks start wrestling because I don't know what the guy's gonna do. I'm always rooting for the dude in that situation to quiet that whole mess and. But there's been a couple girls that have, you know, blown through and gotten into state finals and stuff, and I'm like, man, we're not supposed to hit you. It's not supposed to be a thing. And so these dudes making, you know, head slaps and things like that, trying to get an advantage, like, you just. I guarantee you they're pulling back a little bit. Just a little bit. Some of them. Not all of them. Some of them are getting legitimately whipped, but a couple of those dudes are like, I don't want to touch her boob.

[Brady]

Whatever advantage you could get.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. You grab a can and you start to twist Him. You know, if you're in that little mix down underneath, if you can get hold of a nipple, you twist it if it's protruding. Can't do that with a lady. Can't be done.

[Brady]

That's why when I wrestled, I wore leg warmers that really threw him off. Bright pink.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, it would have been hot. I'd watch two dudes rolling around in that outfit with pink leg warmers. I think you can Google that. I think that's actually probably a real thing. Anyway. Still gonna watch the movie. But Jim Abbott was the one that made me go, I'm not gonna feel sorry for anybody who's missing a limb. I don't want it to happen to me. But if, you know, you put your mind to it, you start kicking ass. But I'm always impressed with anybody who doesn't have something and they're still rocking it. Like, I've seen people, like, just the walking part's amazing. That rollerball, the basketball game, or that murder ball thing. Those dudes playing wheelchairs. There's some of the most amazing athletes I've ever watched. Their upper body strength is incredible. From the wheelchair stuff. I watched the Paralympics when they did the wheelchair marathon.

[Brady]

Wouldn't think they're doing. They're doing it.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, the tennis thing was impressive.

[Larry McFeely]

There was a show on in the 70s and 80s called that's Incredible. And it seemed like. I remember that. And it seemed like every week they found somebody without arms and legs, like playing the piano, doing archery just to make us, you know, all four limbed people, feel bad about ourselves. Because that was a Rubik's Cube with your feet. I think that's what I want to watch that again.

[John Holmberg]

Had to be Asian, of course, Rubik's Cube. And you know.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, here's the Rubik snake. I can. I can knock them all stiff like Jesus Christmas.

[Brady]

Yogi Kudu was the guy who stuffed himself in that two by two box. And they closed it up and he could. They say he could drop his heartbeat to like.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, you're talking about. That's incredible.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Did he have all his arms and legs?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Brady]

He fold himself up.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Into like a suitcase. And it was. They show it. It's a plexiglass one. So he's in there right now. He dropped his 10 beats per minute because you're cutting off, you know, the oxygen.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm not impressed by that. I like when amputees do stuff. If some Indian stuff himself in a box.

[Brady]

That's like Kenny Loggins.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah. That's great. Not the Brady have to explain what you're talking. You've grabbed the wheel and you're flying us the wrong direction. And then you bring Kenny Loggins in. There are very, very few people that are gonna get that. Brady follows a guy who looks like Kenny Loggins if he didn't have any bones. Because that didn't make sense. And then when you brought Kenny Loggins into the party, a lot of people just crashed their cars for no reason. You gotta be.

[Brady]

Kenny's pretty flexible.

[Larry McFeely]

You gotta be clearer. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's not Danger Zone, Kenny.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, no, no, no. You can't have. Back to Brett's thing about that guy solving the Rubik's Cube, though.

[Brady]

I'll just call him Pretzel Loggins.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, we lost Brady. When I brought up. That's incredible. His mind went right back to John Davidson talking to Yogi Kudu. And nobody knew why you were talking about. Huh? He's in a box. Was he solving a Rubik's Cube? No. What are you talking about? Kenny Loggins. Well, we're all gonna. I'm jumping off a cliff. This is the worst story I've ever heard in my life. Anyway. I want to see Anthony Robles wrestle Brady. That I want to see. Get into a weight class you belong in, for Christ's sake. Kenny Loggins wasn't the real Kenny Loggins. Kenny Loggins? Never. For those of you who are going to tell that story later at work. Hey, I heard this morning on the radio. Remember Kenny Loggins from Caddyshack? Oh, yeah. He fought an Indian in a box once. I heard it on the radio. No, no, no, that didn't happen. You misunderstood. There was a lot of detail missed. No, no, Some dude over from Calcutta got in a box and Kenny Loggins killed him. I heard it this morning. They're talking about some guy with no legs, and next thing you know, an Indian was in a box getting killed by Danger Zone.

[John Holmberg]

Who'd you hear that from? Jim Sharp? No, Brady. Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, Brady on kupd. Oh, he was having a spell. Yeah, the Italian guy was talking about Rubik's Cube with something. I didn't understand it. I. All right, don't show me yoga Kudu. Now you are obsessed with something we were not talking about.

[Brady]

You know, some things I recall growing up.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It might not have been kudu. It could have been a different. You know.

[Larry McFeely]

Bottom line is, that's called Alzheimer's. You have these moments of clarity where you remember something. Yeah. And then you focus in on that Memory while it lasts. And then you go back to your Alzheimer's primers. Jesus. Christmas.

[Brady]

Anyway, I look for Kenny Loggins in a box. No images yet.

[Larry McFeely]

No, not yet. No. Kenny Loggins very rarely spend any time in a small coffin with a Calcutta Indian. It's not something you're going to find on there. You've stumped the Internet, Brady. Congratulations, AI. However, if you'd like to invent Yogi Kudu, whoever the hell that is, and Kenny Loggins doing Loggins and Kudu songs in the box, then go nuts. Yeah, that's. I was waiting for you. I was waiting for you. That noise. That's when Yogi Kudo goes.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, no, I have to get into the box.

[Larry McFeely]

Kenny Loggins is here to kill me. Why does Kenny Loggins hate you so much? A fat man on the radio in Phoenix willed it to be true. Not this Kenny Logging. It's Brady's born Kenny Loggins. It's just. It's the head of Kenny Loggins on a bag of skin. Don't care what you say. This thing's tough. Anyway, now I want to see. Now you've done it. Now your dementia has led me down that path. That's incredible. As a show that should come back. That was, like, the first reality show on tv. Really, when it just. Or Real People was the other one with it. And that was another one where everybody with no arms and legs got a chance. Real People. Skip Stevenson, which was Byron Allen on Real People. Okay, okay. And he was, like, 17. Yeah. And now he's a billionaire, but, yeah, he was on that one. And they would just go do, like, that kind of stuff. They go follow some Indian in a box for an hour and a half, and then, like, I don't know, put Kenny Loggins in a bunch of Vipers in with him. I don't remember seeing that episode, but that would be something. But those were. Those shows should come back. But now it's called the Internet, where people just doing dumb stuff. They film themselves. Now, rather than wait for some TV crew to show up and say some dude with no arms is doing, like, he's a. He's got thousand bullseyes in a row. He's just sitting in his backyard, just. Just firing a bow and arrow one after another. Like, this guy's incredible. That's. Yeah. With Fran Tarkenton. I gotta find that John Davidson. Fran Tarkinson.

[John Holmberg]

Kathy Lee Crosby.

[Larry McFeely]

Crosby, who was married to Joe Theisman. Yeah. That was a crew. Those were the original, like, reality shows. I was like, four. I Used to love that.

[Brady]

And dude perfect took over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Now the Internet just shows everybody doing dumb stuff. Everything became. That was kind of a precursor to all of it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

This guy says, my high school linebacker coach wrestled Cain Velasquez. Remember Kane Velasquez?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

He said he was at asu. Technically, he was an awful wrestler, but he got away with it from rage and strength. People were petrified to wrestle him because he was so dirty. That's why he always beat up Brock Lesnar. Dude had a killer instinct, which made up for his skill. That's very true. You can make up for it with your insanity, which I think you know. And now chop Cain Velasquez's leg off and put him in there with dudes 50 pounds lighter. I'm saying I think there's a certain argument to be made that that could be an advantage. That's all. That's all I'm saying. Still gonna see the movie because it's fast. There you go. You found a. That's Incredible. Tonight on that's Incredible. Is this gonna be an Asian playing piano with his toes?

[John Holmberg]

That's just the intro and the outro.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, it is.

[John Holmberg]

I can find that.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm sure Minnesota Viking quarterback Fran Tarkenton would go up and introduce, but it was the 70s, so he'd say stuff like, there's a slant in Minnesota that can play banjo with his feet. It was the weirdest show ever. That had no. It's like Brady Stories. It had no real through line. It just was like six different crazy things. Next time on that's Incredible. Good night. How did Fran Tarkenton play professional sports? Dude's a wire.

[Brady]

Just a scrambling fool.

[Larry McFeely]

John Davidson is three times his size. Anyway, interesting. Brett, what do you got on the big board of Musical?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I was looking for. That's incredible.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Wake up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course, and Josh and the boys working on a brand new store up there by the Hawes Trail. So it will be open February 1st ish right there at Power. And McDowell will get you more details soon, but anything else you need is over at the Gilbert store. Gilbert Road and Southern. Action Ride Shop. Skiing, mountain biking, whatever you want. They gotcha.

[Larry McFeely]

Actionrideshop.com this guy says, john, you're not wrong about the dong thing. We had a black kid on our wrestling team that moved his penis to the side. Get the tip going. So again, if I'm wrestling and I accidentally touch a monster, my hands, my hands loosen it up a second. It's going to be a split second. If you catch me accidentally hitting your giant dong, I'm not grabbing that. I've been taught not to. I've been raised right. So if my hands hit your balls in the middle of a sporting event, I usually apologize. In wrestling, it's encouraged. So that's smart. If I had a big, big bad dong, I'd have the tip hanging out of the side and I'd go to the bathroom beforehand and I'd wet it down. So when it hit your hand, it was. Oh, he's excited too. Oh, he's pre everywhere. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I have a little slippery lotion on some ky, so it was slippery. So it feels like I'm totally into this. That's smart. Use it to your advantage. You got a big dong in wrestling. Get it over to the side. Don't poke it straight up into that tight. Put it down the leg where the dude's got a grab. And once he hits it it, you're going to lose to the guys who aren't afraid of it, but like people like me or you get one of those sub. Yeah, I don't like. For me, that's one of the reasons that sport was out off limits. I touch another dude's dorks. That's. That's not kosher, man. Hands on somebody else's pill, sport. Not for me. And one of the coaches tells you to. To touch his butthole. And that's a lot of coaches. Brady calls it checking the oil. There were coach. There were guys who used to try to drive into the B hole finger.

[Brady]

We weren't taught that.

[Larry McFeely]

You weren't taught that, but it wasn't discouraged either. If you were making that move, the coach wouldn't be like, what the hell are you doing? Kind of homo stuff. Was that you can. Did I win or not? That's true.

[Brady]

You can get penalized for that as well.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. If you get caught doing it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

But the fact that there's a penalty for it means that it gets tried. There's no penalty.

[Brady]

Hooks, all sorts.

[Larry McFeely]

There's no penalty in football for a guy trying to throw a finger in another dude's butthole. You're not getting caught doing it because nobody's doing that. They call it illegal use of hands.

[Brady]

But let's just call it holding.

[Larry McFeely]

No, if you. If the. Can you imagine the Internet? If in football, every once in a while the dirty move was to try to throw a finger into a b hole through his pants, the game would.

[Brady]

Change they do some stuff in piles.

[Larry McFeely]

They're not fingering each other too often. There's nobody doing that. They'll punch it. We'll ask Dale. He'll be here later today. I mean, how often do you, like, throw a finger in a nice B hole? Wrestling has that. You can't deny it. It's a move. You get your hand up underneath there and you start touching. Behold. And see if the dude's gonna flinch for a second. And they take advantage of it. I'm not into those sports if you are, that's great. Good for you.

[Brady]

It was great.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure you've probably had it done to you like, that dude's finger is on. And as a man who doesn't want that, you can't help but know somebody's touching your butthole. I know that at all times. There's never been a time going, how long have you been touching my butthole? I didn't feel it. You feel it the second someone accidentally touches your bottle.

[John Holmberg]

Like you're hanging out the swizz.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, right. It's not like the dude next to him at the swizzle in, when I was watching that dude reach down his pants, didn't know it was happening. That's a very sensitive area. The second a finger taps it, that isn't yours, you're aware of it. A solid wrestling move, maybe that's one that Robles used quite a bit.

[Brady]

And he couldn't stop. Couldn't stop him.

[Larry McFeely]

Can't stop him because then you're either racist or against handicapped people. What? He can't put a finger on your butthole because he's got a leg. Well, that's not why. Oh, it's because he's Mexican. No, that's not either. Ah, you make me sick. You should let that handicapped guy touch your butthole. It's a sport. That's not for me. No, thanks. The tights are the thing. That was the. I understand why you have to wear them, but they haven't updated those in a very long time. They need an overhaul. Those things could be a little better. Either make them sexy or cover up a little bit. Do a bodysuit. Yeah.

[Brady]

You can wear, you know, football jerseys around. Basketball jerseys.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Going around in a singlet is.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. On wrestling match day, you can't wear the uniform and go to class. But in football day, you wear that.

[Brady]

Warm ups.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Baseball, you wear the throw the jersey on. You can't just show up.

[Brady]

Oh, you gotta meet, you gotta match.

[Larry McFeely]

We got A big meet today and taking a big one over in Mesa. Great. I don't want you sitting next to me. Your pants are too tight. What? What are you talking about? It's my outfit.

[John Holmberg]

Step aside, Barry Wood. All right, what do you got on the list?

[Larry McFeely]

Tool.

[John Holmberg]

And then, of course, it starts. Prodigy. Fire Starter. Nickelback. Burn it to the Ground. Ministry. Burning Inside. Metallica. Fight Fire With Fire. Bad Religion. Los Angeles Is Burning. No, Billy Joel. We didn't start the fire. Body Count. There Goes the Neighborhood.

[Larry McFeely]

Nelly.

[John Holmberg]

Hot in here.

[Larry McFeely]

Every single person Smoking on the water.

[John Holmberg]

Hendrix. Fire. Firewoman. The Cult in Flames. Deliver Us. And from our last conversation, Kenny Loggins.

[Larry McFeely]

Kenny's the winner. You want Danger Zone? I want Danger Zone. Okay, we're going with it. Danger Zone. All you insensitive pricks. The city is on fire. You don't make. You don't want a theme song for. There's. I just got a picture of a guy, Ohio State players laying on the ground, and there's another guy just reaching between his legs and giving a squeeze to his nuts. Like, yeah, I'd see that where you go. But buttholes are off limits. That's not. It's not right, man. Are you ready? Sure. Let's do a little Kenny Loggins this morning for Brady's story that we still aren't sure why Yoga Kudu and Kenny were fighting. But they were. And I'm putting my money on Kenny Loggins all day and all night.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's not weird.

[Larry McFeely]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brady]

No membership fee.

[Larry McFeely]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Time now for Brady to give you all that news that Brady knows called the Brady Report. I got peanuts. Toledo bought a bunch of peanuts. Now I'm chugging. I know I'm doing the same thing. Terrible decision to put a thing of salted peanuts near us because a you think you're just gonna have a little bit. You're gonna eat the whole bucket.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Larry McFeely]

Love them. Fantastic. But now it's all jammed up in my mind. I got a dentist appointment later today. Gotta brush out a bunch of peanuts. Anyway, it's time for only news Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. And then we say Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Larry McFeely]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Word Nerd Day.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, I don't know what that means.

[Brady]

It's celebrating the use of words. Words. Being a wordsmith like myself, you are.

[Larry McFeely]

Kind of the king of the word sorry. All right, don't choke on that. Stop eating, Brett. You're gonna die over there with the word nerd.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. Light bulbs in New York City, subway and other train systems have left hand screws that backward. Design is to prevent people from stealing bulbs to use at their home.

[Larry McFeely]

So they screw in the opposite way.

[Brady]

Opposite way.

[Larry McFeely]

And no one can figure that out.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they have to change the sockets at home.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, I thought you meant the bulbs. Yeah, okay.

[Brady]

No, the only way you can put them in.

[Larry McFeely]

Gotcha. Yeah. So the bulbs, like they could steal them.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

They just can't use them at home. But that's a thing. People steal light bulbs for home use in places?

[Brady]

I guess so.

[Larry McFeely]

I've never seen that before. I know, mother. Yeah, they'll steal anything.

[Brady]

Eleanor Roosevelt refused to let Secret Service member travel with her when she was the First Lady. She just carried a pistol.

[Larry McFeely]

She went out with heat in the hand. Nice. I'd like to see that now. And Melania walking around with her own gun handling some stuff.

[Brady]

The guy, that guy that invented cotton candy was a dentist from Tennessee. William Morrison. Came up with an 1897 the Agent Dr. William Morrison, and that premiered at the 1908 World's Fair.

[Larry McFeely]

Cotton candy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

This is cotton candy history. Only Brady. Again, it's the news. Only Brady knows the history of cotton candy.

[Brady]

This is pretty good. Someone threw us out there on Reddit, I believe. But what stats about your life would you like to see after your death?

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, how many times I beat off?

[Brady]

That would be a good one for you. How many times I almost died without realizing it?

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, there's a bunch of those. How many times I ate a bug in a restaurant or anywhere, really.

[Brady]

How many times I made someone feel good about themselves without knowing it?

[Larry McFeely]

No, that's dumb.

[Brady]

Number of people who were attracted to me while I had no idea you bailed out.

[Larry McFeely]

How many. How many chicks you missed out on.

[John Holmberg]

Now you don't want to know that.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't want to know. Yeah, because then you find out, like, what?

[John Holmberg]

I could have scored that piece.

[Larry McFeely]

She wanted to do what now and then. I want. If that's the case, then I want to scale from this statistician on how easy that kill would have been. Would it have been almost impossible if Christy Greenway was a go and I didn't know it? But was it a green light no matter what I did? Or was it fragile? Like, could I have really screwed that up. She was interested. But how interested?

[Brady]

Top five songs I listened to, plus how many times I heard each.

[Larry McFeely]

What song did I hear more than any other while I was on the planet?

[Brady]

Yep.

[Larry McFeely]

What do you think it would be? And not something stupid like Happy Birthday. That's just like. You hear that?

[Brady]

Well, no. That you go out of your way to play.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, not something that you. Something you're forced to hear. Or beyond that, just. What song did I hear more than any other song while I was on the planet? Not that you went out of your way to get it. And there's probably a possibility that that's why it would be your number one, is that you did play it a lot yourself. But what song did you hear more than any other song while you were at man?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, probably that effing Mariah Carey Christmas song.

[Larry McFeely]

That's out there a lot. Well, we're in radio, so we would have to think to ourselves that the, you know, 30 years of being around this that I've heard disturbed down to the sickness has to be on my list.

[John Holmberg]

You shook me all night long. Because even before we were in radio. Yeah. Still playing it.

[Larry McFeely]

Wonder if ACDC's on my. How often it was near me. I bet you that you're probably right. Something off an album like the Gang.

[Brady]

Celebrate, you think it's up there?

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding. How often do you hear that? How often you've heard that in the last 30 years? Years? Is it happening?

[Brady]

Oh, at least two or three times.

[Larry McFeely]

Brady, I hate to break it to you. You're probably getting a daily dose of AC dc. It's probably at least twice a week without even knowing it. I don't think you're hitting cool again.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then in 23 years here, and then the. Yeah, another 20 that's up there.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, you might have found it. How many times did I walk past like a buried treasure or a gold doubloon and missed it?

[Brady]

Total pounds. Pooped along with the biggest one I've ever done.

[Larry McFeely]

Great stats. Is this what happens the first day in heaven as they break down your. Your career?

[Brady]

This is. It's not a stat, but Person said, I want a gallery of pictures where I'm visible in other people's photos without me knowing.

[Larry McFeely]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

Like how many random pictures in a background.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, you're a background photo. Why would you want that?

[Brady]

Who cares how many times I used each letter of the Alphabet?

[John Holmberg]

These people are boring.

[Larry McFeely]

You know what's a weird one? This is a weird one for me. Whatever Happened to my old cars.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

The life of cars that I no longer have. Where do they go? I remember it was really a weird, fascinating thing. There's a listener who ended up buying my. One of my old Jeeps. Not from me either. And he's like, this is your old car. And it was a two door black Rubicon that I loved it. And then he. And then he sent me a picture of it. And it hurt me because it was on its side.

[Brady]

And you see those stories every now and then where the guy, Papa John, 80 years old, gets his Papa John.

[Larry McFeely]

Got his original car back. I want to know. My first car was a 1986 CJ7. I don't know where it is or what happened to it it. But I want to know. It's life. After I got rid of him in 1991. Where's Whitey? Where's Whitey? One I call it. You have something for me or you? Oh, you're giving me a little. Do not, do not, do not play what you have going on. Turn it off.

[John Holmberg]

You'll see it in a little bit.

[Larry McFeely]

You're doing the videos.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Just double checking the last one.

[Larry McFeely]

That's a great thing.

[Brady]

How many times my body successfully destroyed a cancer before it could take hold?

[Larry McFeely]

Probably zero. I don't think your body does that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to know that either.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't think your body destroys cancer, does it? Sure it does.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Without. Cancer shows up and your body goes, I got this.

[Brady]

That could be true.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Trying to get in there.

[Larry McFeely]

That.

[Brady]

I mean it.

[Larry McFeely]

What do you mean trying to get in there? It's not knocking on the door. It's in, it's beat down. We don't have an immune system. Cancer. That's why it's.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Cancer. We do. Yeah. Cancer comes and goes.

[Brady]

Some can be, you know, go away because your body without treatment. Sure.

[Larry McFeely]

I've never heard this before that you can just. I had cancer. I didn't do a thing about it and went away. My body fought it off.

[Brady]

I think your body has to eventually fight it off when it, you know.

[Larry McFeely]

The cancer usually wins. Well, treatment is the thing.

[Brady]

I know. I'm saying beyond treatment. I mean, there's always that. But the time where the cancer. How do you, you know the cancer that goes away on people?

[John Holmberg]

What goes into remission or.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, I've never heard of that.

[Brady]

Remission. One thing. You haven't.

[Larry McFeely]

No. Somebody's diagnosed with cancer and they just go. And then it went away. Did you do anything? Not a thing. I'm pretty sure that's not a thing that you find out you got cancer, you don't do anything, and then it disappears.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I think your body fights it off.

[Larry McFeely]

Doctors very rarely say, let's see what your body can do with this. You get diagnosed with cancer, there's a plan.

[Brady]

But how you get it to begin with, because your body couldn't fight it off.

[Larry McFeely]

But that's cancer.

[Brady]

But not everyone gets cancer. Because your body can fight it off.

[Larry McFeely]

But it's not that you always have cancer. Not everybody gets Parkinson's. But it's not like you're fighting off Parkinson's.

[Brady]

I think your body can heal. I mean, that's the vengeful thing. I mean, we're. We're figuring out medicines to help make it go away.

[Larry McFeely]

You just brought up the key word sounds. Holistic medicines. Your body will. Will need help. That's treatment. That's different than your body fighting it off. I've never heard of it. Maybe it's a thing, but I don't know. Too many. I don't want to trust too many doctors that I go in and like, looks like you got a little cancer in there. Your body will handle that.

[John Holmberg]

I think what I think a lot of what I'm saying is, like, with treatment, it can go into remission.

[Larry McFeely]

And that's treatment, though. That's not your body.

[Brady]

But your body also can, you know, because it's not everyone that gets cancer because their body can fight it off.

[Larry McFeely]

But that doesn't make any sense. Then you didn't have cancer because the.

[Brady]

The body is able to prevent the cancer from.

[Larry McFeely]

Then you never had it.

[Brady]

Well, but that comes down to the. But how the people that get it.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Need treatment.

[Brady]

Well, because their body couldn't fight at all.

[Larry McFeely]

No, because they did. The other people didn't get it. If you don't have the flu right now, it doesn't mean you're constantly fighting off the flu. You just didn't get it. That doesn't mean your immune system. You just weren't. You just didn't get it.

[Brady]

But there's people that are around. You know, you can be around people that have the flu and not get it.

[Larry McFeely]

And it didn't get them.

[Brady]

Because I think your body.

[Larry McFeely]

Because your body can fight off colds and flus.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Cancer is not one your body does real well with. I don't know if he's picked up a newspaper over the last hundred years, but that's been pretty much a guarantee across the board. You go to the Hospital, they find cancer in your blood. The suggestion isn't. Let's just see how you do.

[Brady]

Because, I mean, the. The medicine is enabling your body to be able to. It helps your body fight it off more.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't think because you didn't get cancer, it's because you were so good at fighting it back. It's just sort of a certain way.

[Brady]

You'Re more susceptible or it's in the family or the.

[Larry McFeely]

But if you didn't get it, it isn't because it was in there and your body just pushed it away. Yeah, there's genetics, there's behavioral issues. But yeah, doctors telling you oncologists are very rarely like, I don't know, call me in a couple weeks and see if it gets worse. Pretty much.

[Brady]

No, they're not. Once. I mean, you know, some of that stuff, once it takes, then you have to treat it.

[Larry McFeely]

But you're saying it's always in there.

[Brady]

It's. It's.

[Larry McFeely]

And your body's just pushing it back.

[Brady]

I think somebody.

[Larry McFeely]

You're saying, only weak people get it. Nice.

[Brady]

Oh, what a dick. Yeah. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

That's what he's saying. Really deep down, what you're saying is your body couldn't. Your body lost that fight. That's why you got it in the first place. You. And now you. Doctor's help. Not like Brady. He hasn't had cancer the whole time. Stronger than you. Cancer could all the people that worked.

[Brady]

With asbestos over the years.

[Larry McFeely]

Right, but that. But you're talking about. It's. Yeah, it's. It's cellular. So it's not like. It's not like your body's fighting off.

[Brady]

And isn't it preventing it in a way?

[Larry McFeely]

It doesn't always work because the cells will end up. Your body's actual immune system will actually increase it.

[Brady]

But isn't it building up? I mean, for the cancer, it's fighting off the. Whatever white blood cells versus the red blood cells.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

No, but you're talking about having cancer at that point. And very rarely, once you have cancer, your body's not fighting that off.

[Brady]

Let's talk about something as important. On the heels of yesterday's conversation of the telephobia, where the younger generation is having a tough time answering the phone or they have the anxiety, the fear. Nottingham College in England is offering classes on how to make phone calls. The main focuses are phone etiquette and phone confidence.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if this radio thing don't work out, we got a job in teaching how to use a phone. For Christ's sake.

[Larry McFeely]

I got a real cell, I got a real chicken egg thing going on here on the emails too. Because there is the idea that your body's constantly working to not get sick.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

But once cancer's in your system, you've got cancer. So you never fight off cancer when you have it. But your body churning along at optimum rates means that you're probably not going to get it.

[Brady]

And I've always looked at it or felt similar to the statement that your body fights it off potentially you're bringing it in.

[Larry McFeely]

Once you've got cancer, it really won't fight it off.

[Brady]

Isn't that.

[Larry McFeely]

No, your body doesn't fight that off. People die from skin cancer.

[Brady]

I know, but some people could be exposed to the same amount of sun or whatever.

[Larry McFeely]

That's genetically, that's genetic differences of melatonin and pigment and everything else. But yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's the chicken egg that. Yes, your body is always. If it's churning along, well, your odds of getting cancer are less because your immune system, your body's stronger. But once cancer enters your body, I don't think your body has the ability to like get rid of it on its own.

[Brady]

Well, there is. I mean there are cases.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, I mean you're talking about those weird miracles.

[Brady]

No answer to it.

[Larry McFeely]

Right.

[Brady]

Like wow, there's usually went away. Vietnam is paying people to report bad drivers up to 200 a pop or 5 million dong.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If you see someone texting and driving or running a red light, you can report them. You get 10% of whatever the fine is.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That just leaves the door open for dicks just to report you. Like if they don't like you.

[Brady]

It's got to be crazy.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Calls that would come in. Scientists tracked People's Health for 10 years, split them into three categories. People who only drank coffee in the morning, people who drank it all day and people who didn't drink it at all. The morning coffee drinkers had a 16% lower risk of dying from any for any reason and a 31% lower risk of dying from heart disease compared to the non coffee group. But the benefits disappeared for people who drank coffee all day. So having your last cup before noon save your life. Moderate coffee drinkers.

[John Holmberg]

Cheers.

[Brady]

It's all the biggest benefits.

[Larry McFeely]

You're having coffee right now.

[Brady]

You're just saying do it and stop afternoon.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand how those people that drink coffee all day long, especially in the summertime. Oh, I just work in a shop where a guy did that and they.

[Larry McFeely]

Get in the middle of the day.

[John Holmberg]

10 degrees, 3 o'clock. He's having a cup of coffee.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm. People told me in my, you know, ah, you get in your 40s, you'll start liking coffee. Is not. Not the case. I've never liked the taste. I hate it. I think it's. It's so bitter and gross. I just don't like it. Coffee does nothing good to me either because I'm immune to caffeine for some reason. I've been guzzling so much soda my whole life.

[Brady]

Did you see Mexico's president's response to.

[Larry McFeely]

The the Gulf of America? Don't care what you're.

[Brady]

Shine bomb.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, that's the president of Mexico. Hola, Claudia. Shangbam. How are you doing, huh? Hola, Shalom.

[Brady]

She said it should be called America America Mexicana.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, she's. She's compromising.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

She didn't dig her heels in on Gulf of Mexico being theirs.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Larry McFeely]

The Gulf of Americana Mexico.

[Brady]

And says, doesn't that sound great?

[Larry McFeely]

How about Trump didn't even get any D Or she hit her with his D and she's like, all right, all right, all right. How about if we compromise instead of just going, it's Gulf of Mexico. Which would I would have done if I was the Mexican president. I got to hand it to him. If Trump's a decent person, like, you know what? All right, the Gulf of America. Mexica, Whatever you said, Lady Amera.

[Brady]

Mexico, America Mexicana.

[Larry McFeely]

Whatever. But the fact is that she didn't just say it's Gulf of Mexico. Shut up. Up. Not anymore. Gulf of America.

[Brady]

This guy Clint Ferguson is from Louisiana. He was out and about driving and yelling racial slurs.

[Larry McFeely]

I got interrupted because these are good emails. Said your dendritic cells eat cancer for breakfast, only don't have that. That's right. You're weak ass. If you get cancer, it's because you're weak. Brady was right. Oh, my emails are ridiculous right now.

[Brady]

Yeah. So Clint Ferguson was out in the neighborhood in Louisiana. He's white guy and he was yelling stuff like I hate the N words yelling it.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh my.

[Brady]

He got arrested for disturbing the peace. But it looks like some of the neighborhood got a hold of him before he got arrested. Yeah, here's his mug shot.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh yeah. No, you. Well, you start shouting out that I hate N words thing out your car window, you're going to get your head bashed.

[Brady]

And where was he at in Louisiana?

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you go. Come on.

[Larry McFeely]

That's a 50. 50 shot. You're too close. When I was on my ride along, we pulled up at McDowell in 16th or 44th Street. McDowell, 44th Street. And these. Yeah, he did these 16 year old, 17 year old kids pulled right in front of the squad car and one of them put his head out the window and started screaming at a friend of his. You know, the N word was involved a lot. And he was just cursing and screaming. I think he had a homo F word in there. And the cop I was with, Ben just goes, you gotta be kidding me. Like we're the car behind him. He's not. He doesn't see us. Hits the lights and that kid's face turns. He looked back, he's like, oh no. And Ben was like, do you realize how much what you could have just had happen to you if I wasn't behind you? Are you the dumbest person on the planet? You can't do that. It was a friend of mine. It's like you were shouting that loud enough that we heard it with our windows up. The wrong people heard that. You're in big trouble. They were. You want to talk about ghost white kids? When those lights came on in Kenosha.

[Brady]

Wisconsin, 32 year old Tyree Carter was arrested for whacking off in a Piggly Wiggly grocery store. Workers called the police and they got there, they. One of them said, yes, I saw him. He whipped out in one of the aisles and then left his man mustard on the floor.

[Larry McFeely]

No.

[Brady]

Jimmy John's is bringing back its Kicking Ranch sauce in several ways, including as a soup.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, from the boys.

[Brady]

It's a six ounce soup size container of the sauce that's ideal for slurping, sipping or dipping.

[Larry McFeely]

I thought you meant the soup like soups, like the superheroes.

[Brady]

No, no, that's different for your hoagies.

[Larry McFeely]

He said, dude, do you even lift, bro? Work out your anti cancer muscles. Vincent. You're right. You're right, Vincent.

[John Holmberg]

Skip cancer day.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm not arguing that your body doesn't fend off cancerous stuff. Yeah, because your cells can be that. But. But I am saying that you don't have cancer yet. But once you have cancer, you no longer can fight it off. So once you get the diagnosis, you've got cancer. It's not up to your immune system.

[Brady]

So much the body you can't wear.

[Larry McFeely]

Down or once you have it. That's my argument. Like once you. I want to talk to an oncologist. It's an interesting thought because when a doctor says you've got it doesn't it require?

[Brady]

I mean, it requires your body to.

[Larry McFeely]

Your body's constantly fighting.

[Brady]

Yeah. Does it actually fight it off?

[Larry McFeely]

But it doesn't fight off once you have cancer, things that make you susceptible to cancer, it. It pushes back as long as it can until it becomes cancer. So that's chicken egg to me. Like. Yes, you'll have cancerous cells and cancerous things and things like that. And your body fends it off as long as it can. But once it becomes cancer, can't do anything about it. I mean, so that I'm going to go over to the oncologist later today, and he'll be sitting there smoking. What are you talking about? Pussy. You're strong. You won't catch it. Only weaklings get the big C. Brady was right. It is pussy disease. I'm thinking about changing the name in honor of Brady to people with cancer. To big pussy Americans. That's what we're gonna call them. Wimpy pussy cancer havers.

[Brady]

Yeah, because, I mean, I also thought it that way because at least in the. As we get older, our bodies get weaker and we're more susceptible to.

[Larry McFeely]

Right.

[Brady]

You can't fight just like the animals. Like cancer, as an animal gets older is probably the most prevalent.

[Larry McFeely]

You're more susceptible to breakdowns. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you had.

[Brady]

Cancer and fought it off, weakening in a way.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You didn't have cancer, but your body was strong enough to keep it. But it wasn't keeping cancer out because you didn't have it yet. You know what I mean? So once you have the diagnosis, I've.

[Brady]

Built up an immunity in a way. I drink like a six ounce cup of cancer every morning. I'm up to that.

[Larry McFeely]

I like to find. I like to go to cancer wards and just chew tumors. That's what I do. And me and Brady are out there all day long. He's like, where's your big C ward? We got a lot of sickies today. Oh, we got some people all bubbled up. Give me some of that cancer. Blood cancer in a cup. Followed up with a rare tumor.

[Brady]

A tumor a day.

[Larry McFeely]

Get me one of those geoblastomas. Just, you know, sear it on each side. I'm going in.

[Brady]

You can buy them at a wet market.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, you walk in there and just see all those people. This was a. How you doing today? Get the cancer free, fellas. Wandering through real quick and eat your tumors.

[John Holmberg]

Step aside. Step aside.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm Dr. Bogan with a cape on.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't need no mother medical science. Mash tight. Yeah. All right. It was an interesting thought, though. It's not done. My head's still spinning on it. But it's weird. You have the videos that we said?

[Brady]

Oh, I have two quick. First one's a WNBA highlight.

[John Holmberg]

I think this is it.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, highlight, highlight.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Or video proof it exists. Is it a highlight? This is the cancerous argument again. Is this a highlight by definition or just videotape of a WNBA activity?

[Brady]

It's a play I've never seen before.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, could be a highlight. Here we go.

[Brady]

It's pretty basic.

[Larry McFeely]

Let's play ball, ladies. We're just inbounding. What are you doing? Oh, I've seen this. Inbounds to the wrong person and. And then the girl that she inbounds to misses a wide open shot because she's the only one on the floor at the time. Keep in mind, we're in the fourth quarter, she misses. Anyway, keep in mind, it's 41 to 29 in the fourth. It's a great play.

[Brady]

High scoring game.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah, no, the 41. I lost the over under on that. Just on one team.

[Brady]

Last one's a kids getting hurt at a petting zoo.

[Larry McFeely]

Guy in a Red Wings jersey or something. Oh, and he's one of those goats takes down a two year old.

[John Holmberg]

Let's watch that again, Grandpa.

[Larry McFeely]

Lift the baby up by its heart.

[Brady]

He did.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's the. That's the skull of that kid. One more time. One more time.

[Brady]

That's at the Quantum at Nara Deer park in Japan.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, my God. Well, that's Joey Buttafuoca. What's he doing in Japan? Oh, that might be my favorite video in a long time. I mean, that kid just learned to stand on his own like a week ago. And then they put it in front of a ram.

[John Holmberg]

Now he's Caleb from Shriners.

[Larry McFeely]

It deboned him right there. I think I could put this on a loop and watch it all day. Especially the way granddad just scoops the.

[Brady]

Kid up by his chest.

[Larry McFeely]

You're all right. You've been rammed before.

[Brady]

I thought it was a Red Wing shirt too.

[Larry McFeely]

It's just a red jersey. But grandpa is. That is.

[Brady]

It's almost like a Corvette logo.

[Larry McFeely]

That was hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

And we got some good ones.

[Larry McFeely]

Don't put your barely walking kid in front of a head butter. Those are notorious headbutting creatures. And they'll occasionally going to remind themselves that's what they're supposed to. They're not Supposed to be pet by children. Occasionally they're supposed to smash into you with you know what? I bet you that goat smelled cancer in that little weakling. Tried to knock it out of him. That's funny. I want to watch it again.

[John Holmberg]

I deleted it.

[Larry McFeely]

We'll watch it. We're going to watch this a lot today.

[Brady]

Is it funny? The first thing you think he's like immediately picks him up like by the.

[Larry McFeely]

Center, touches the chest. Just grabbed him by this little kid chest and flipped him up. And that's pretty awesome.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we got some videos today.

[Larry McFeely]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you do Crandall's back again for a little while. So we'll start with his back again.

[Larry McFeely]

There we go. His first video. There's. I don't know what's going on. Two midgets. Two midgets dressed in lingerie and like schoolgirl outfits kicking a naked man in the balls as he lays on the ground. Oh, is there sound to this?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there should be.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. There you go. Nope, there's no sound. Brett, you're killing me.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry.

[Larry McFeely]

That would have made some interesting little squeaks and. All right, let's try this.

[John Holmberg]

If this one's good.

[Larry McFeely]

She's a little. Oh, here's a lady sitting on massive butt plug. Oh my goodness. That thing's four feet long. And here it comes. Here comes the rosebud. Brady up, sucked it back in. That thing's four feet. Oh, she just gave birth to her. To her own bottom.

[Brady]

That's a rose plus right there.

[Larry McFeely]

It'd be great if that kid shot out of there.

[Brady]

Welcome.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, man, that's incredible. Does this go on for a while long? She just knocked the butt plug down onto the ground.

[Brady]

Well, I think she went through a lot there. She's definitely relieved.

[Larry McFeely]

She treated the top one better than the bottom one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

The top one still looks a little bit like a paper cut.

[John Holmberg]

It's not as thrash.

[Larry McFeely]

The bottom one looks like Mick Jagger's lips.

[Brady]

It's double camel top.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah. She can get a 360 degree camel. That's awful. All right, next.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what this is.

[Brady]

Acupuncture.

[Larry McFeely]

It's in a penis pump. And he's added a bunch of pins to the penis pump. So while he's in there and he swells up, the pins that are poked through the side of it are going to go through his goods as it swells. And now he. And these are long needles. Holy Moses. These are good 34 inch needles that he's Pulling out of this dome. He's putting. Okay, stop, stop. Oh, that could be happening in the apartment next to you this morning. Stop it.

[Brady]

One here.

[Larry McFeely]

There must be 30 needles in there.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go. I'm just skipping ahead.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh. Oh, he pulled all of them out. Now he's taking the little snow globe off of his pee pee, which is profusely.

[Brady]

It did not work. It did not get any bigger.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, it looks like Kennedy's head. Oh, God. Oh, man. No. Why?

[Brady]

Poor little hedgehog.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that little guy. All he wanted to do is just have a little fun.

[John Holmberg]

And this one. He wants to see how long Brady can last with this video.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, okay. It's a Brady litmus test. It's a beautiful Indian lady kissing a pretty woman's exposed. Oh, now she's pooping in a cocktail. She just pooped in a cup. Little chocolate mousse. They're enjoying the. This is very reminiscent of two girls.

[Brady]

One cup, 25 seconds.

[Larry McFeely]

It is. Two girls, one cup, 20, 25. Nope, she's. She's spinning it around. She's spitting poop around in her mouth. That swallowed it. Now she gives a big smile. Oh, they are paws. Look, pause this. All right, well, go back a little bit. Go back a little bit. There you go. Look, look, look. Oh, you're missing. Go back again. That.

[Brady]

That's not real.

[Larry McFeely]

It's a feces French kiss. This is just Two Girls. Modern times reenacting Two girls, One cup in her mouth. Yeah, this is the Two Girls One Cup. You know what this is called? Two Girls, One cup. The next generation.

[Dale Hellstray]

Look at this one.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, look at that. Go to the very end. Watch the video. Look. Go to the very end. Again, Brett. Where there's just a whole. Look, look, look, look, look, look. Just face.

[John Holmberg]

We're just getting started.

[Larry McFeely]

That's the modern.

[Brady]

That's it.

[Dale Hellstray]

I never got more.

[Larry McFeely]

You know what, Brett? Can't Hollywood come up with new ideas? We're just rehashing all the old videos. That's just two girls. Two new girls. That's like the Top Gun reboot. You don't need to reboot. Two girls, One Cup. That's. It's. Come on. It's like remaking Star Wars.

[John Holmberg]

Here's some. Only fans advertising.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, so green haired lady walking down the road. Oh, now she's doing a thing in a casino on a glory hole slot machine. Where in the world is that dude? There's got to be a guy laying.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's just a dog.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's. Oh, she's. Just playing with the dong all along.

[John Holmberg]

Walking down Vegas.

[Larry McFeely]

So she's sticking it to stuff and then performing on it on escalators. And that's her only fans page training video. She goes around with a simulated male phallus. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

This one gives a new meaning to beating off.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, man. Oh. Oh, he's. Oh, he's got it on a rubber mallet. He's taking a rubber mallet to his gp and it is. His prostate is very healthy. He's got it strapped down to a board. And it's just this constant. It looks like the truly Nolan thing is just smashing into his pee pee. Oh, my God. They live amongst us.

[John Holmberg]

This one, what would you. This one says, John, what would you do if this happened to Tony Romas?

[Larry McFeely]

My old Tony Roma's day or the restaurant. I don't know what that is. It looks like a woman with a beard and she's performing on herself. And there's the dog there. Now she's peeing and it's at a restaurant and she's. I think she's putting it in a Pepsi cup. Oh, that is an ugly lady. But now she's scooping it up off the table and like putting it back down on the ground. She's like trying to clean the table, but it's. It's like somebody spilled the water, except for it isn't water. And then she's just kind of scooping it onto the floor. This isn't a boost.

[Dale Hellstray]

Wipes in her hair.

[Larry McFeely]

This is a booth.

[Brady]

Look at that.

[Larry McFeely]

Right on the floor. She's just pushing it off the table.

[John Holmberg]

We'll finish with this one, will we? The old.

[Larry McFeely]

This is.

[John Holmberg]

This is science. This should have been for Brady Science News.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's kid should have saved it, but.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah. All right. Okay. It's a close up of a B hole. And we're going in. We're going.

[John Holmberg]

We got a camera.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, God. They put a camera in her bottom and they turned it around. And now she's being.

[John Holmberg]

This is science.

[Larry McFeely]

And now she's. Now her boyfriend is doing the marriage dance with her. But the camera's inside getting a view of the incoming. We'll call it. What a fascinating idea that was between the two of them. And now she's got to get the camera pulled out of there.

[John Holmberg]

Dripping.

[Brady]

The camera exiting. Worst thing I've ever seen. Close to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I can go back to the other one if you want to see that one.

[Larry McFeely]

Ash. Brought to you by Ash. All right, no more of that. That's enough.

[Brady]

Good Enough.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, my God. They're out there. Brady, they're out there. Look. Yeah, these are the. These are. It's. It truly is. Look at that. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. Oh. Oh, man. You just missed it.

[Brady]

But I've seen it.

[Larry McFeely]

The Two Girls, One cup reboot.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Larry McFeely]

It's time this generation figured. There you go. There's Brady's new screensaver. It's a girl with what looks like a fist of feces on her face. Turn around and look. Turn around. Look at that. No, you need to see this. This is beautiful. This is art. Turn around. Look at that. Just take a peek. Take a peek at that. Come on. He's spinning. Slowly. He turns step by step. You saw it. It's worth it.

[John Holmberg]

That might make the video.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't know why that doesn't bother me, but that Asian lady eating those flies made me throw up, and that doesn't bother me because it's so absurd. Like, I just know that's never gonna happen anywhere near me. Yeah, the flypaper thing. Somebody could do that as well.

[Brady]

Exaggerated.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. It's just so out of the realm of possibilities. It's. My brain doesn't even accept it. I can watch it for the pure comedy of two girls, one cup, 2025. Who would have thought that? How do you get a friend? Hey, have you seen Two Girls, One Cup, a video that came out about 12, 15 years ago? Sure. You know what we should do? Oh, my God.

[Brady]

This is such a good idea.

[Larry McFeely]

Let's do it. And they do it. Yep. There's been a lot of bad remakes, Brett.

[Brady]

Imagine.

[Larry McFeely]

That's not one of them. No.

[Brady]

Slipped into one of your wedding videos that you have to play the music, too.

[John Holmberg]

I would laugh. My.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, man.

[Larry McFeely]

What if you. What if you recognize the bride? Hey, I've seen her before, and I can't quite place it. And then she starts eating chocolate cake, and you're like, oh, yeah, there you are. You were in a video. I saw. That's enough of that. All right. We're all done with it.

[John Holmberg]

I would call you guys immediately to show up to that wedding and show you that.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, I would have a tux. Yes. At the ready. Be too big. It'd be filthy. There'd be like, a. I'd be there. The girl from Two Girls, One Cup, 2025 is getting married to a dude named Brent, and it's about to happen.

[John Holmberg]

Remember that chick that was snorting that?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, she's here. I just watched her drink milk. I know. It's her.

[Brady]

Who's the dude in the tux and the guy in the shorts?

[Larry McFeely]

She's put the straw in her nose to drink the milk. It's her anyway. All right, that's enough. I need to reset. I'm gonna go get some more peanuts. There you go, everybody. It's 98K video. There goes your Brady report. Homeburg's morning sickness. Eric Schwartz gonna join us in a little while. We're gonna talk to him just moments. I believe he's at the Improv this week. And we'll talk to Eric in a little bit. But before that, Brady, I have to say, you're getting beat up on the. No, no, no. About what the Mexican president said. She did not say to rename the Gulf America Mexicana. She said parts of the United States. She actually was. So I thought, wow, what a wonderful thing that she heard Trump say, name it the Gulf of America. And she said, well, let's just compromise. Call it America Mexican. No, she said, hey, parts of the United States, then if we're going to change some names should be called America Mexicana, because the whole northern region of this used to be that, and that's ours.

[Brady]

I was way off.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, it was one of those deals. She was not as cool about it as we thought. She was basically trying to take us.

[Brady]

It was a. Yeah, swing back.

[Larry McFeely]

It's in 1607. The constitution. Constitution of at pat is again, was a Mexican American. So let's just call it that if we're going back to that. I do you know that somebody said, it's not like he's trying to call it the Gulf of United States. It's part of America Central and north. And I'm like, I'm fine with that. I just. I'm fine with call. I'm not fighting back. I just don't know that it's high on our priorities. I don't care. I don't think that that was something America's gonna go. Finally, we fixed that. Although if you did change the name, I'd put a flag up for that. I think that's pretty awesome. I'm all for conquering. It seems like conquering the Gulf of Mexico for no reason when no one was really fighting back. Like, this is ours now. It's got a new name. It's like, oh, is there a reason? No, I felt like it. Okay, that's pretty great. I'm in on that.

[Brady]

Just get the Panama Canal back. I mean, you know.

[Larry McFeely]

You mean the American Canal? Yeah, I'm in on that. Yeah. Green America. We're gonna change that green land to green America. Gonna be great. It's 8:24. We'll talk to Eric in just moments. He's musical. Did he bring any instruments? Is he gonna sing for us as well?

[John Holmberg]

I'm not sure.

[Larry McFeely]

All right. Eric Schwartz gonna come in here a little bit. I'll tell you right now. He's a handsome man.

[John Holmberg]

I already seen a picture.

[Larry McFeely]

He's a damn good looking gentleman. I'll just say that. Google him while the brakes on. And don't think we haven't noticed that Toledo got an endorsement with a bread company. We're going to talk about that a little later too. It's 98k upd.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's not weird.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Brady]

No membership fee. I have heard it.

[Larry McFeely]

Enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[John Holmberg]

He's evil sitting right here.

[Larry McFeely]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It's 98 KUPD. It's. Was this just a room of handsome bald guys? That's all that's going on right now.

[John Holmberg]

Feel so left out.

[Eric Schwartz]

So at home.

[Larry McFeely]

Look at this Eric. Look at his hair.

[Eric Schwartz]

How do you feel now?

[Larry McFeely]

Haired person, Haired weirdo. You'll feel great. Minority.

[Brady]

He can swimmer, like.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. He wears a hat. He's got one of those. He wears a hat.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not preparing for you clowns every morning. Getting up early for that.

[Larry McFeely]

It's a good point. Eric Schwartz is here. He's at the Tempe Improv tonight. Are you doing other stuff in town this weekend too?

[Eric Schwartz]

Just tonight. Just being bald and Tempe Improv, that's all I'm doing.

[Larry McFeely]

That's the only two things you're doing for us today.

[Eric Schwartz]

That's all I need.

[Larry McFeely]

That's awesome. 7:30 tonight, you want to go to the 10pmprev.com and if you haven't seen Eric Schwartz yet, the YouTube stuff's pretty good. You're unique, I'll say that. It's. The thing you're doing is a little different than most people, which is very musical without like being a guitar folk singer of comedy.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, I've been told I'm a one of one.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, that's right.

[Eric Schwartz]

I like hearing that. But yeah. So like I started as a dj, right on the turntables. I spent all my apartments of money on DJ equipment.

[Larry McFeely]

My parents were like, wait, Schwartz is Jewish?

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

I didn't know that.

[Eric Schwartz]

That's A well known fact.

[Larry McFeely]

I just found that out.

[Eric Schwartz]

Little known fact, we. We drink the Shabbos wine, the Schwartzes circumcised here. Also, congratulations. Double bald.

[Larry McFeely]

The whole room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

Okay, good. Now I'm sure. Now I'm. Now I can accept you.

[Larry McFeely]

Now he's related.

[John Holmberg]

I feel accepted now.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. So my parents are like, you gotta save it for college. I'm like, nah, mom and Dad, I gotta rock parties. And so. And so I'm tired of the Beasties.

[Larry McFeely]

That's right.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, yeah. So like, that's so. It just kind of found its way into my comedy. You know, I gotta be myself. And that's just in me. I want people to have like the most fun they've ever had sitting down. So it's stand up at its core. But then I gotta, you know, I gotta rock them.

[Larry McFeely]

And you do the weird thing, like. Because you got like a double mic situation in this. Like, I've seen you a couple times do the deal with the. Like you've got a little machine, like, live looper.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, it's like a looper.

[Larry McFeely]

It's really, like almost seamless before I realized what you were doing.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

It was really cool to see because it is different, I'll tell you because.

[Brady]

Did you start out vinyl?

[Eric Schwartz]

Started out vinyl, yeah. Every time I would go, I would do like mobile DJ stuff. It was like moving a house.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

And now, you know, like, now people could just like take their laptop.

[Larry McFeely]

IPhone. Yeah. Or a laptop. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

You do.

[Larry McFeely]

He does it for weddings still. Did you ever do weddings?

[Eric Schwartz]

I did, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, nightmare.

[Eric Schwartz]

Oh, that was the. Oh, the first time I was so nervous because I didn't want to ruin somebody's day. And the first time I go, I like, practiced it so many times. And then when the big announcement came, I choked and I go, Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, please welcome Mr. And Mrs. Sanchez. Mr. And Mr. Sanchez is what I said.

[Larry McFeely]

A gay Mexican wedding. I gone to that.

[Eric Schwartz]

It was the first one. Back then.

[Larry McFeely]

Back then, you were a pioneer. What was the reaction?

[Eric Schwartz]

I mean, they looked at me like. And I go, I mean, Mr. And then there was no. I couldn't.

[Larry McFeely]

There's no coming back.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. But when I really got.

[Larry McFeely]

But the better part would have just looked and goes, it's Mr. And Mrs. That's a woman.

[Eric Schwartz]

I was too creative. Like, as a dj, that's how I was. Like, I had to stop doing it because I wanted to be the center of attention, you know what I mean? And I'd be Like, hey, like, mixing and scratching and, like, while you're just trying to sing along to your favorite song.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Eric Schwartz]

So I'll be like, oh, girl, I love you ever, ever. Oh, girl.

[Larry McFeely]

Or.

[Eric Schwartz]

Or, oh, girl, oh, girl. Just play the song, you know, I.

[Larry McFeely]

Mean, play the goddamn song.

[Brady]

Cameron Sinatra.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. One time this woman, she the bride, got mad because, like, all I did was, like, remix her song, you know, like when she's just coming down the aisle.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, but she didn't ask for that.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. I'm like, hey, this is hip hop.

[Larry McFeely]

You know what I mean? You're kind of bored with what she wanted to do.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. I'm like, here comes the prop. All dressed, and why not? Somebody say, ho. Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, I have to ask because there's no way. This isn't how it went down. A young Jewish boy goes and gets the DJ equipment, skips college only to disappoint his parents. So I have to ask, what kind of doctor was your father?

[Eric Schwartz]

He was a doctor of women's clothing.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, is that right? Oh, okay. So he's a haberdasher.

[Eric Schwartz]

He was a schmatta salesman.

[Larry McFeely]

Is that right? And so he sold clothes to the lady. Had his own store and stuff.

[Eric Schwartz]

He was like an entrepreneur. He's a crafty guy.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Eric Schwartz]

My dad, Lester Les for short, had a clothing business called Get More from Les and is a clothing store on wheels. And he would bring it around to all the office buildings. This is before, like, a lot of the proliferation of discount stores within the suburbs. And so people would go. The ladies would come in and shop on their lunch break or whatever. And. Yeah, so he had a women's clothing.

[Brady]

Sounds like a tie truck or something.

[Larry McFeely]

1930S, the 90s.

[Brady]

In the 90s, there was a guy that would come around and sell ties where he'd come to our office.

[Larry McFeely]

Really?

[Brady]

And people would buy a lot of ties.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. He started with men's clothing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

And then he realized that women buy more.

[Brady]

I did it once.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, you did it once.

[Larry McFeely]

But they buy mobile clothes.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yep.

[Larry McFeely]

I've never. I would have.

[Brady]

Well, they go around with them.

[Larry McFeely]

I would immediately remove that person from the. Yeah, like, homeless guy's trying to sell me a bunch of used clothes. Well, I assume it's all stolen.

[Eric Schwartz]

No, I don't know. I don't know where my dad. My dad might be a criminal. I never thought about this.

[Larry McFeely]

Where did he get all these clothes? And why couldn't he get a brick and mortar store?

[Eric Schwartz]

Well, because it was the well, there was already brick and mortar stores, and he did have a brick and mortar store. And just, like, the upkeep and the rent was, like, so high, it was.

[Larry McFeely]

Easier to just move it around.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. He would go to downtown LA and get, like, the. You know, he had.

[Brady]

That was good stuff. I mean.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, you calm down. He's. You're always looking.

[Brady]

I'm just saying, the Thai experience.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, I might. He might still have connections if I. You want to be hooked up. I had less.

[Larry McFeely]

Could you.

[Eric Schwartz]

It might have been Lester.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Could your dad roll the store down here? Brady still needing new ties?

[Brady]

Yeah, I gave him up years ago.

[Larry McFeely]

I won't eat at, like, food trucks because I don't trust any business that can drive. Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

You know what? I think about that sometimes, and I'm like, this is a. This is a kitchen that can move.

[Larry McFeely]

Around if ever a health inspector shows up and you can start the restaurant and run from him. But they're not eating.

[Eric Schwartz]

I think a lot of people, when they go to. They go, it has to be dirty for me to like it.

[Larry McFeely]

Good Lord, no.

[Eric Schwartz]

That's a lot of people. Like.

[Larry McFeely]

No. I like my food to taste like bleach.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Clean, man. I just want it all to be clean.

[Brady]

Your palate's mess, man.

[Larry McFeely]

I cannot. I can't think of, like, food trucks. Trucks.

[Eric Schwartz]

Let's go get some tacos, man.

[Larry McFeely]

I'll eat tacos, but I'm going to a place where it's very clean.

[Eric Schwartz]

Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

Some bleach tacos.

[Larry McFeely]

Bleach tacos.

[Eric Schwartz]

Sounds good, right?

[Larry McFeely]

Do not Google that here. You're going to be surprised at what you find. Eric Schwartz is at the Tempe Improv. You're a bald man. Very attractive, handsome bald man.

[Eric Schwartz]

Likewise, you guys.

[Larry McFeely]

Thank you. Thank you very much. One of the things that drew me to you initially, as I found out about Eric Schwartz, was, oh, I can get behind this guy. He's one of our survivors, you know?

[Eric Schwartz]

And this is what to any bald guy out there. I wanted to let you know, like, be proud of who you are because society wants to bring us down, and they say you should be ashamed of your baldness. No, I'm happy about it. I don't have a lack of hair. What I have is a surplus of face.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, I like that now. That backfired on me with an insurance claim. Once. Did it because I had a lipoma I had to have removed from my head. And because I don't have hair, they considered it plastic surgery for my face because I Don't have a hairline. And so it. It didn't count as like a like so. So I said, where technically then insurance company does my face end? And they said, where does your hair start? And I said, there's some at the top of my ass. So technically, my face goes from here all the way down my back to the small tuft that I have just above my ass crack. Wow.

[Eric Schwartz]

You're like, that's a personal question. Mine go to the toes.

[Larry McFeely]

And there is a chance that it could have gone to legs because there isn't a lot back that I had to feel. I'm like, that's a nice enough to count. It's like an eyebrow.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Larry McFeely]

Above. It's not even really there. Probably even lower. Now you have a huge face. Giant face. But I like that. That's a good thing. Now, how long have you been bald?

[Eric Schwartz]

I've been bald. I. I probably. I'd say since I was, like, about, like, early 30s.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. How bad was it prior to just going to the razor?

[Eric Schwartz]

Well, let me tell you guys something. Any. Any guy who's thinking, like, who's a little patchy, it was the best thing ever. It's marketing.

[Larry McFeely]

Right.

[Eric Schwartz]

Especially if you're trying to impress the ladies. They don't know. They can't if you're patchy, if you're thinning, they're like, they, hey, I can't figure it out. Are you bald? Are you not bald? What are you trying to say?

[Larry McFeely]

You're hiding something.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. But then when you shave it and you go, I get your statement.

[Larry McFeely]

Yes.

[Eric Schwartz]

You know what I mean?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's like a billboard.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Your statement is comfort with self.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

That you have to be now, would you want hair if you could. If you get magic pill happen, would you grow it back?

[Eric Schwartz]

You know what's crazy is sometimes I'll have dreams and I have hair, and I'll wake up a little disappointed. So I think in my heart of hearts, that's, like, buried in my dreams.

[Larry McFeely]

Maybe you push it down.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, I push it down.

[Larry McFeely]

Yesterday when the wind was blowing, I was walking in my car and I looked at my shadow, and for some reason I expected to see hair whipping in the wind. Yeah. For half a second. So it lives in all us balds.

[Eric Schwartz]

Did you think. Did you think for a minute, like, how great, how grateful you were to not have hair in that moment and to not have it messed up?

[Larry McFeely]

I think about it all the time because it takes me a minute and a half to go anywhere.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

If you said Right now, if he woke me from the couch and said, all right, let's go get dinner at a nice place. All I have to do is change my shirt.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. No more bad hair days.

[Dale Hellstray]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

I just leap. Which Brett can't do because he's got that beautiful mop on his head. And we're not talking to you right now.

[Brady]

The curling iron.

[Larry McFeely]

So when you first shaved it, were you. Because you've got it. This is the thing also, though, when people go bald, you have to know that you don't have. You've got a very well rounded, non lumpy, goofy head.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. You have the same.

[Larry McFeely]

We have nice. Yeah, we've got nice heads, you and.

[Eric Schwartz]

I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

But. But if it was flat and. Or had big ditches and, like, weird stuff in it, you'd be upset. But when you shaved it, were you initially upset?

[Eric Schwartz]

It's. It's a little jarring because you feel like it's part of your identity. Right. That's. That's why it's like, we think, oh, no, that's not me. I'm not that. And you look at it. You're like, that's not me. But, like, it really is you. You. That's your true face.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

You know what I mean? And then people suggest alternatives, right? There's three alternatives. There's really three alternatives. There's drugs, rugs, and plugs. That's it.

[Larry McFeely]

That's true.

[Eric Schwartz]

And let's examine those drugs. Rogaine, Propecia. I'm living proof that stuff didn't work.

[Larry McFeely]

You tried it?

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. No, because I had an audition for a Rogaine commercial, and I didn't get it because they said I didn't have enough hair.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's not right.

[Eric Schwartz]

I'm like, that's your fault. It doesn't work.

[Brady]

You called me.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

You called me in.

[Larry McFeely]

Were you fully bald at that point?

[Eric Schwartz]

No, I was, like, thinning.

[Larry McFeely]

And who. Your agent said, I got the perfect guy.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's just wrong. Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

And I did. They're like, we like him, but he doesn't have enough hair.

[Larry McFeely]

So you did that before and after, and it wasn't enough to make a commercial.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's garbage. That is their fault.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Did you at least get some money for that?

[Eric Schwartz]

No. Nothing. I spent money on their product, and then I was like, you know what? This is messing up my pillows. It stains your.

[Larry McFeely]

It stings.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. And it's bad for you.

[Larry McFeely]

It's not good. It smells.

[Eric Schwartz]

It kills your manhood. So what's the point?

[Larry McFeely]

It does.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

You couldn't get hard while you were using it.

[Eric Schwartz]

No, no. You. Yeah. I mean, come on, it's me.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, I've just met you, so I assumed. I assumed you didn't have Ed. But let's wait a minute. It does.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's. It has a risk.

[Larry McFeely]

Not for you. I'm not.

[Eric Schwartz]

Not for me. I mean, like, it's like. It's like you're trying to stop a tsunami with it.

[Larry McFeely]

Right? With.

[Eric Schwartz]

With a. With a. With a. A breaker.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. I mean, you overcame. Pardon the pun. Yeah. The entire situation. Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

I think you hit the nail on the head right there.

[Larry McFeely]

So then you got the drugs, then the rugs.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. Rugs is like a wig, okay? Like, I've been Bald for over 10 years. I'm supposed to just show up tomorrow. You have hair like, hey, guys, look.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey.

[Eric Schwartz]

Hey. Notice anything different about me? Everyone's gonna be like, yeah, you got.

[Larry McFeely]

A wig, but isn't that the same as artificial? Like, fake boobs?

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Women just show up with boobs, and we're not supposed to say anything. But that's hair. They get pointed out.

[Eric Schwartz]

That's plugs. And nobody's. And everyone thinks it's sexy when a woman gets implants, but nobody's looking at a guy with hair plugs. Like, oh, shoot, dog. Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know those commercials.

[Larry McFeely]

And now it works.

[Eric Schwartz]

Hey, like, I want to put my face in those follicles.

[Larry McFeely]

Like, when's the last motorboat in the follicles? But nobody calls it. You're like, yeah. Nobody calls it fake hair, though. They don't call it fake boobs. But nobody goes, oh, he's got fake hair.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

We, like, whisper that he had a procedure. Like, it was, you know. But I don't know. I didn't know that about Minoxidil Turkey. It makes your. It makes you softer. It makes a weaker man.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. That one in Propecia, you run the risk of that.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding.

[Eric Schwartz]

And you're doing it to impress your mate.

[Larry McFeely]

Right. You're trying to be attractive, and now you can't get wood. What's the point? Yeah, develop a personality.

[Eric Schwartz]

Exactly.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

Like, be proud of who you are.

[Larry McFeely]

That's girl, for God's sake.

[Eric Schwartz]

Wow.

[Larry McFeely]

I mean, they're out there. Jesus, that disappointed me. I didn't know that. That's cruel. I mean, to build a thing that grows hair back because you're not confident enough to be bald, but it takes away your ability to be a.

[Brady]

It's just a gateway Drug.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's a catch 22.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Eric Schwartz]

What does it lead to a gateway drug?

[Brady]

Viagra.

[Larry McFeely]

Viagra, yeah. That would have to.

[Eric Schwartz]

You know, they have a chewable one.

[Larry McFeely]

Now, and they have a chewable one that's both hair growth and Viagra.

[Eric Schwartz]

That would be a cure.

[Larry McFeely]

All right. Yeah. I saw a commercial for it the other day. It's a minoxidil fenestral thing. That's Viagra and hair growth in a pill. I think it'[e-mail]. it's a real thing. And it looks like old. Remember Certs? Yeah. Had the Retsen in it. It's got the little sparkles in there. Toner juice and hair cream all in one pill.

[Brady]

And now weight loss.

[Larry McFeely]

So my neighbor. I have gay neighbors, and they always talk about things. They're gay, and the house is fantastic. Since they moved in, it's just property values through the moon. But they talk about things too much. And Michael was talking about having taken the pill to grow his hair. Cause he's starting to lose his hair. And he said the only thing it's doing is growing more bush. His pubes are through the moon.

[Eric Schwartz]

Wow.

[Larry McFeely]

He can't control.

[Eric Schwartz]

Well, it didn't lie.

[Larry McFeely]

It says grown hair growth. Never said where.

[Brady]

But I don't use an ortho down there.

[Eric Schwartz]

What I don't understand, though, is, like, if the chewable ones, if you're old enough to lose your hair, if you're old enough to not to have Ed, you should be old enough to swallow a regular damn pill.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, right.

[Eric Schwartz]

Like, why? Like, what is it? Like, you need a Flintstone vitamin.

[Brady]

Put the cell on the chewable. They say it goes. It's quicker.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, that's.

[Brady]

Look under the tongue.

[Larry McFeely]

You can swallow a pill. If you can't, nobody's dating.

[Brady]

I'm saying that it's got to break it down. They're saying this is instant.

[Eric Schwartz]

It becomes. Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah. Pretty close.

[Larry McFeely]

Eric Schwartz at the Tempe improv tonight at 7:30 park, if you want to go there, sell me the show. Eric, I don't know how to sell your show. Like, what would you call this?

[Eric Schwartz]

I call it. I call it multi comedia.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Eric Schwartz]

Oh, wow. Multimedia comedy. I do visuals.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

I talk about fonts for all my nerds out there.

[Larry McFeely]

You have a font?

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, I'm a font savant.

[Larry McFeely]

What's your favorite font?

[Eric Schwartz]

I don't know that I could pick between my babies.

[Larry McFeely]

But you have a least favorite font. The neighbor font.

[Eric Schwartz]

Of course. What do you. Okay, I'M gonna pull the room here.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Eric Schwartz]

What do you think is the top worst font that is always rated the worst font?

[Larry McFeely]

Wingdings.

[Eric Schwartz]

Wingdings. That's a good guess. Anybody else?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll go with that.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, Wingdings.

[John Holmberg]

I'll go with that.

[Eric Schwartz]

Well, okay, I'll tell you about Wingdings is everyone has it and nobody uses it because we replace hieroglyphics a long time ago.

[Larry McFeely]

It's Egyptian wall art. I don't know what anybody would try. It's like, for. If you're writing a ransom note.

[Brady]

Are they edible? I didn't.

[Larry McFeely]

No. No. You don't know wings to wings? No, he likes wings.

[Eric Schwartz]

I can see what your priorities are.

[Larry McFeely]

It's a coupon for wings.

[Eric Schwartz]

He's like, more wings, please.

[Larry McFeely]

Ding.

[Eric Schwartz]

More wings.

[Larry McFeely]

Ding. Yeah. What is the. So what is the one that's always on top?

[Eric Schwartz]

Comic Sans.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, no kidding. That one's not terrible.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's the PT Cruiser of fonts to me. And I know there's people out there like. But I'm. I use Comic Sans, and I'm a PT Cruiser, and you better be a kindergarten teacher because, like, you can't use. My point is, don't use it to be taken seriously.

[Larry McFeely]

Right. Don't write a letter to tell me how to be better at my job in Comic San.

[Eric Schwartz]

Like, people use it for a letter, like, at work and stuff. Like, don't do that.

[Brady]

Can you pull up the fonts, Brady?

[Larry McFeely]

He doesn't know them. Yeah. And you gotta look them up at home. This is nerd talk. This is nerd font talk. Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

Comic Sans. Like, okay, for example, you cannot take it seriously. For example, would you trust a condom with Comic Sans on the label? No. Good luck. See you in nine months.

[Larry McFeely]

It's funny because I know what it is. There are people going, what the f is he talking about? But it's absolutely true. I would not buy. I wouldn't buy a product because it looks like it's like clip art.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Somebody made it at home.

[Eric Schwartz]

Like, what if the presidential symbol was Comic Sans?

[Larry McFeely]

You're not.

[Eric Schwartz]

Nobody would take this seriously.

[Larry McFeely]

No, you're 100% right. Wow.

[Eric Schwartz]

Would you. Okay, if there was an airline with the Comic Sans logo on the side of the plane? Are you getting in that plane? No, you're not.

[Larry McFeely]

So that is so accurately Odd. Yeah. Strange way to look at the world because nobody ever thinks of the font.

[Brady]

Like.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The way people dress for their profession, it's.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, right. Exactly. It's like moods for letters, you know?

[Larry McFeely]

That's. What's your favorite one?

[Eric Schwartz]

I would say. Okay, the ones that I use a lot. And. And you guys, you guys can use this one that was very, like. You don't want to, like, go crazy on your font. Gotham is a really good one.

[Larry McFeely]

I like Gotham. Yeah, Gotham. See, there they are.

[Eric Schwartz]

Okay. Or you pulled it up.

[Larry McFeely]

The. Gotham is a cool one.

[Eric Schwartz]

Gotham's a good one. Bay Bus. Newie.

[Larry McFeely]

What?

[Eric Schwartz]

Very good.

[Larry McFeely]

You see Brad's nodding.

[Eric Schwartz]

Brad, the room just going Bay boss.

[Larry McFeely]

Nui. I don't know.

[Eric Schwartz]

B, E, B, A, S. Is that on there? Yeah. Where is it? Oh, it's not in your.

[Larry McFeely]

Not on your. Oh, you have the poor person one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is just.

[Larry McFeely]

He's not paying for the fonts.

[Eric Schwartz]

Plus, I would say the most common one and like, I would say that a lot of fonts are based on is Helvetic. Helvelvetica. Helvetica is very versatile.

[Larry McFeely]

Were you locked in a room for.

[Eric Schwartz]

A long, long time when nobody ever says. Nobody ever tells you, hey, if you want to be a stand up comedian, learn Photoshop, learn how to design your flyers. But I had to do this out of, like, necessity, and I became a font savant. I became kind of like an amateur graphic designer.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, I've always liked the lucida handwriting one that looks sort of cursive.

[Eric Schwartz]

Y.

[Larry McFeely]

That one I think is good for signature.

[Eric Schwartz]

That's okay.

[Larry McFeely]

But you don't write the whole thing that way. It's not serious. Do you enjoy the bold font, man?

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. So don't go. Don't go crazy on your lucida. All right?

[Larry McFeely]

Just a little bit of it.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Exactly. You got the right idea.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

Okay. Like, just simple. Like what. Can you, like, look at that page of all these fonts that you have on your screen?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

What do you like if you. Which one catches your eye first?

[Larry McFeely]

Which one grabs me?

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, just like close your eyes, open it. And which one do you see first?

[Larry McFeely]

Harold.

[Eric Schwartz]

Harold.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, Just more of a newspaper one.

[Eric Schwartz]

Impact. Yeah, but that's. That impact's a good one, but it's too much. Overused.

[Larry McFeely]

Yep, it's too much.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So graph only because it's bold.

[Larry McFeely]

How about that? I've never thought about it this much. This is usually what people like on the ID channel do. Like, you were locked in a closet for years with a computer, and the only thing you had access to his fonts. So you just made. It's like what Anne Frank would have done if she had a computer.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

She'd have just played with fonts.

[Eric Schwartz]

Oh, my God.

[Larry McFeely]

Am I wrong? It gets quiet. It's quiet work.

[Eric Schwartz]

And her diary would have been way easier to transcribe. Just cut and paste it.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't realize there was this many fonts out there.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, let's get into that. What should Anne Frank have used as.

[Eric Schwartz]

A font as a Jewish person? This is a loaded question.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, you're the expert. I couldn't ask a non Jew. That's cultural appropriation.

[Eric Schwartz]

Right? Yeah. You've got the right poster.

[Larry McFeely]

You think that's too fun?

[Eric Schwartz]

I would say. Okay, what's gonna match her mood?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to find. A mood font for Anne Franklin.

[Eric Schwartz]

This is gonna be wrong and right at the same time. Here's keep. Keep scrolling down, scroll up, scroll down. Okay, there's. Got it. There's more fonts out there, but yeah, this would say. It would be funny if she used, like, Cooper's.

[Larry McFeely]

What's Cooper's? Fine, Cooper.

[Eric Schwartz]

Coopers is.

[Larry McFeely]

There it is.

[Brady]

There we go.

[Eric Schwartz]

It would just be. It would just be fun.

[Larry McFeely]

That's copper gloss. That's not Cooper's.

[Eric Schwartz]

It would just take all the. The depression out of it, though.

[Larry McFeely]

We don't have Cooper's. Everything you mentioned is like.

[Eric Schwartz]

You know what it is? They're calling it Subway down here. Oh, they're calling it. It's the same font before Subway. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's just good stuff. That's. No, that's too Kathy from the newspaper.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's like 80s merch. It's like, hey, I'm in this attic.

[Larry McFeely]

It changes the whole tone of Anne Frank's struggle.

[Eric Schwartz]

Imagine if Anne Frank's diary was in Comic Sans.

[Larry McFeely]

You'd be like.

[Eric Schwartz]

You wouldn't feel bad.

[Larry McFeely]

She was having a good time up there. Yeah. Yeah. And her taste is. Is relatively questionable.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah. But actually, at her age, she probably would be the. She probably would use.

[Larry McFeely]

Isn't that a fascinating thing, though, to think if you. If she had the opportunity then to write this in a certain font, what she would have chosen?

[Eric Schwartz]

She would have probably been like a. Like that one that says, like, if you're really going on the nose of, like, being serious, she would have been Times New Roman.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

You know what I mean? Like, she would have just taken it seriously. But because we're having fun today with Anne Frank.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, fun with Anne Frank. It was a PBS show. Never really took off.

[Eric Schwartz]

Off the PBS show that. Never.

[Larry McFeely]

It never really took off.

[Eric Schwartz]

They tried.

[Larry McFeely]

They pitched it about eight times. They never found the Right, girl. Oh, you know, it's just. But the font would have changed at all. How about that? Fascinating to even focus.

[Brady]

Well, how many books did I mean that she had?

[Larry McFeely]

No, you're thinking of Helen. Kel.

[Eric Schwartz]

There's no sequel to the End Frank Book, dude.

[Larry McFeely]

Not Harry Potter.

[Dale Hellstray]

Spoiler alert.

[Eric Schwartz]

She didn't get. Yeah. Spoiler alert.

[Larry McFeely]

She didn't have a chance to follow up. Yeah, well, we don't.

[Brady]

We don't know.

[Eric Schwartz]

Maybe you should write that.

[Brady]

There could have been no. We know a couple other ends.

[Larry McFeely]

Read the last three pages.

[Eric Schwartz]

You know what, the hidden chapters. Yeah, but before the hidden chapters.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, the.

[Larry McFeely]

The Easter eggs and Anne Frank's diary.

[Eric Schwartz]

We went back to the. You know, you can visit the Amsterdam Museum and they found another stash of papers.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

Under the floorboards.

[Larry McFeely]

The Just kidding Files. Yeah.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's her. And it's her.

[Larry McFeely]

Tik Tok Director's cut. I've known him too long too. Well, that. The second he said that, I'm like nop of the blind girl. You're thinking of the blind girl.

[Eric Schwartz]

That's the Anne Frank sequel.

[Larry McFeely]

Anne Frank 2, the other addict, Electric Boogaloo. Search for Curly's Gold.

[Eric Schwartz]

Search for Curly's Gold.

[Larry McFeely]

I mean, it makes sense.

[Eric Schwartz]

That's a great title. The Search for Curly's Gold.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm writing it. Anne Frank 2 is happening.

[Eric Schwartz]

I am reporting to ChatGPT to help me.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, no, we're making it happen. I remember Ralphie May's old joke about that was said Anne Frank's new song.

[Eric Schwartz]

Oh, the Yin Yang Twins did that whisper song.

[Larry McFeely]

That's right. I was gonna have to do that. Wow, Eric. What a. What a moment.

[Eric Schwartz]

This is. This. I haven't even done any songs.

[Larry McFeely]

No, you haven't done a thing. And we're out of time. So now they have to go to the show to see.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, no, you gotta go to the show.

[Larry McFeely]

It's a great show. Like, you're. I haven't seen you live, but I've seen you enough on the Internet and stuff to go. This is fun. I kind of want to go to that. Unfortunately, I can't tonight because you're only doing one night. But, hey, well, you know what?

[Eric Schwartz]

If we do well, maybe they'll bring me back for more. That's the key, you know what I mean? So make it happen.

[Larry McFeely]

So there you go. Tonight, 7:30. You want tickets? Tempeimprov.com Eric Schwartzlive.com. you can check out all this stuff. You're great. I've liked this for A while. So when you. When they said you were coming, I'm like, oh, cool.

[Dale Hellstray]

Ah.

[Eric Schwartz]

I'm so.

[Larry McFeely]

Eric Schwartz, Tempe Improv. Leave us with words of wisdom, Eric. Something to change.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Eric Schwartz]

Pressure.

[Larry McFeely]

New Year's changes.

[Eric Schwartz]

Okay, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna be proud of yourself. You're gonna be happy with yourself. You're going to. If you're bald, be happy with yourself. If you're not bald, get bald.

[Larry McFeely]

Because you're not happy until.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah, you're not really happy with. You can.

[Larry McFeely]

Depending on how you spell that. If you're not bald, get bald.

[Brady]

Get bald.

[Larry McFeely]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstray]

Wow.

[Larry McFeely]

Exactly.

[Eric Schwartz]

If you're not bald, get bald.

[Larry McFeely]

Kind of a beautiful thing.

[Eric Schwartz]

However you want.

[Larry McFeely]

That's right. That's Brady. You haven't read it. That's the last line of Anne Frank's book.

[Brady]

Oh, my gosh.

[Larry McFeely]

It's a beautiful thing. Be the change.

[Eric Schwartz]

Be the change you want to see in the world. Like my doppelganger Gandhi said.

[Larry McFeely]

That's right. He's a little tan, but otherwise, yeah, perfect. Eric schwartz, everybody. It's 98.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's not weird.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Eric Schwartz]

No membership fees.

[Larry McFeely]

I have heard enough of this for you. P.D. hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[John Holmberg]

He's evil sitting right here.

[Larry McFeely]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, can you be. That's a good one, Dale. You'd like this song. It's a great song. Look at everybody. Happy New Year to Dale Hell, who's in the studio with us this morning.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes, it's good to be here. Look at D. Are you back full time, or.

[Larry McFeely]

What do you mean? I, I. I work full time.

[Dale Hellstray]

Have you signed?

[Larry McFeely]

It's not official, but it's. It's pretty official.

[Dale Hellstray]

Is it pretty official? Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

I mean, there could be a curveball here.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Trip's house is in the Pacific Palisade, so I might not see him for a while. And then, you know, then New Covid shows up, and the next thing you know, I'm. I'm out. But we're. We're good. Okay. So, welcome to the show. The Final Five, we're calling it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, I. I was gonna say as I. I listen bit this morning, just to kind of get warmed up and primed and.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, we can warm you up with a video.

[John Holmberg]

I can bring up another one.

[Dale Hellstray]

You guys are sick, sick, sick. No wonder why I Don't like you in public. But I thought you were mailing it in, going in the new year because you didn't know. It sounds. This. This the couple times listen to you this week. You guys sound like not even here.

[Larry McFeely]

Killing it. Killing it.

[John Holmberg]

No one feels so effortless. It's effortless.

[Larry McFeely]

Effortless. It's effortless. Yeah, We're.

[Dale Hellstray]

It sounds effortless.

[Eric Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

And thank you for that. We kill it on a regular basis with limited effort.

[Dale Hellstray]

Comedian that talks about font.

[Larry McFeely]

No, that is not.

[Dale Hellstray]

I can't wait to race down to the comedy theater.

[Larry McFeely]

Everything. Everything about him was funny. And you are not smart enough to follow. That's what you're complaining about. You're basically saying I'm ignorant to the conversation.

[Dale Hellstray]

Which font do you like?

[Larry McFeely]

Yes. What Dale's saying, I'm too ignorant to follow along, therefore I will lash out. You know what makes us mad? Mad things we don't understand.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, really?

[Larry McFeely]

That's. Exactly. That's a scientific fact.

[Dale Hellstray]

Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

We'll get angry at the things like the rosebuds. Like rosebuds. It makes you angry when you don't understand the world around you. Why do you think old men just go. The whole world's falling apart. Because it's. And that's what you're going to become if you're not careful. So learn. And then when somebody comes on a radio show and talks about something you're not really sure about, you'll be like, you know what?

[Dale Hellstray]

No, it's just I need to find out why. Why do you need 19?

[Larry McFeely]

You're the one talking about it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Because actually, people pay money to go see that dude.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Engaging conversation and they're entertained.

[Dale Hellstray]

Did you really emphasize gay?

[Larry McFeely]

Too many times. Bonked on the head to follow the thread, Gene. All right, all right. Dale Hellistray joins us from. Fresh off a trip to Dallas to watch them throw their whole season away one last time.

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, yeah, go ahead and win a game and go. No, Almost win a game.

[Larry McFeely]

Almost. Yeah. They couldn't quite pull it off.

[Dale Hellstray]

I actually didn't watch much of it.

[Larry McFeely]

No, you were. And you sent me a picture of you in Dallas over the weekend. Was that a Sunday game? It was, right?

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And it was you, Michael Irvin.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

I couldn't. Bill Bates.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Who's the other guy? I recognized immediately and I forgotten his name. I don't have the picture from. Who else was there?

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, we had John G. John. John Gick, Chad Hennings, Everson Walls, who had played with.

[Larry McFeely]

Was he in the photo?

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Dale Hellstray]

Michael Irvin, as you said. Bill Bates, Steve Berline.

[Larry McFeely]

I didn't see that picture, so. Yeah. Because Kevin Ray and Steve Berline do the Cowboys radio together.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. So it was a cool picture of cowboy cowboys past.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

And then I realized that it was like 35 years ago that you guys were a team.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And then if you start doing the math on like, let's say it's 1990 when you two are reuniting for that. Or you guys were 35 years prior to that. That.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Was 1955.

[Dale Hellstray]

Wow.

[Larry McFeely]

So in 1990, dudes reuniting the way you were.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

For the 1955 Browns.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right, right.

[Larry McFeely]

That's hard to love doing. But isn't that a killer?

[Dale Hellstray]

That is.

[Larry McFeely]

That's the distance that has passed that. That seems like forever between 55 and 90.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

And 90 today, man. Big deal. Right. And Michael still looks great. The rest of you, do some work.

[Dale Hellstray]

Actually, I. I've always hoping I'll see a wheelchair. Tubby for Michael. No, from any of those dudes. Steve Berlin's probably the guy who's gained the most weight.

[Larry McFeely]

Has he?

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, yeah. I think he played at about 225. He looks like he's about 260 now.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding.

[Dale Hellstray]

He wouldn't fully.

[Larry McFeely]

And you can say that now.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Because you're down to regular weight.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

And you said your wife actually saw a skeletal bone on your body, Actually.

[Dale Hellstray]

Felt my sternum and said, what's that? Is that a wrinkle in the shirt? She goes, oh, that's your sternum.

[Larry McFeely]

Like you have shrunk down. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

We've been married 36 years. She's never felt my sternum.

[Larry McFeely]

I know. What's the end goal? Full aids. Because you have lost a lot of them.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, I got to stop because I got three.

[Larry McFeely]

Your head's too big. And if we start seeing your bones, it's going to be like the elephant.

[Brady]

Now when he walks.

[Larry McFeely]

We can't have this. But are you more comfortable at this current weight?

[Dale Hellstray]

Most of the time, yeah. You know, we were in Dallas and the weather changed and my body still hurt.

[Larry McFeely]

Were they making fun of you because you're. You're half a man?

[Dale Hellstray]

No, I'm still over 6 foot.

[Larry McFeely]

Johnny, don't make fun of Brady. There's no reason. No reason to take a swing at him right now, but yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

So it was a great weekend. Bill Bates, full blown.

[Larry McFeely]

And is it football related? More than likely, yes. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Actually, it's Parkinson's, but. But literally, he. To talk is hard.

[Larry McFeely]

It's difficult. But you went back to. Because people who don't remember Bill Bates was what I consider what Cam Scatterboo is going to be.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Is just a gamer.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Probably not the best dude on the field for the pros, but that you put him anywhere you put him at receiver. Bill Bates was going to do something for you. Whether it was a blocker. He was just that dude on your team you wanted. And to see that he's going through that because of pictures. And you went back to visit him, which was actually really cool. To see his smile. The way you sent that picture. I'm like, that's really. I actually told you that I don't have a lot of. Of those moments.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

But I was like, this is actually kind of beautiful. Like you guys together with him smiling that way was bringing so much joy to somebody who's going through so much crap.

[Dale Hellstray]

A lot. A lot of thumbs up. As wife said. He. He knows you all. He has had the most fantastic weekend.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's, you know, brought back memories. The Cowboys honored him during the first quarter. Brought him out on the field. Showed a nice highlight tape.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

And all that. And she said he was in.

[Larry McFeely]

It had to be great. Well, good. I'm glad that happened because he's one of those dudes that deserves. Deserves it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Ron Wolfley.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

That guy. Danny Woodhead. Those are the types of dudes I look at and I'm like, if every team had one of those, you're going.

[Dale Hellstray]

To be a little Tasker.

[Larry McFeely]

Steve Tasker.

[Dale Hellstray]

And again, it seems like a lot of them are. Bill Bass was not drafted. Steve Tasker was drafted. Very, very long.

[Larry McFeely]

14 rounds. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

And Ron and all those guys. And they're just human missiles.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

That's all. Because there were wedge busters back then. Zero fear. No.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. No Body be damned, guys. Yeah. And you don't see that as much anymore. You don't see that at all anymore. Which is why I think everybody loves Cam Scabo.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Is because he is a throwback to what football used to look like, which is I'm going to run into this wall until the wall goes away. And it's. I'm going to. So what if I get hurt? I get hurt.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

It's crazy. Nobody does.

[Dale Hellstray]

And usually the thing is, you don't get hurt when you play like that.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's when you're trying to protect yourself or you play a little safe, that's when an injury happens. I was speaking of Camp Scatterbo last time we Saw him play. I was with you.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. We were hanging out at Kevin Lithgow, right? No, not John Lithgow. John Lovitz.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, John Lovett.

[Larry McFeely]

Although that would have been awesome had I brought John Lithgow. Would like to watch the game. Like, oh, this is fantastic. Lithgow's gonna be amazing.

[Dale Hellstray]

He walks into Cameron's house. He's got this guy with a son, John Levity dog. And I'm like, who the hell is this?

[Larry McFeely]

You knew John Lovett.

[Dale Hellstray]

Is this one of your gay neighbors?

[Larry McFeely]

Lovett's liked you quite a bit. Yeah, Dale is a character. I liked it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah, he was. He was very interesting.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, but you knew who he was.

[Dale Hellstray]

I actually. Because I just looked. Shook hands and was watching the game. Took me a minute.

[Larry McFeely]

But then once you figured, oh, then.

[Brady]

You put the two and two together.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah, I did not. Kind of like you and Anne Frank. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Well, not true. I still have it.

[Larry McFeely]

He still struggles with. But there. Yeah. He gets his Jews confused with Anne Frank and Helen Kelly. Part of it. So let's talk about that asu. Now, you played in rigged college football. Probably more than anybody would ever know. Your team was the biggest cheating team in the history of college football. Correct.

[Dale Hellstray]

We were up there.

[Larry McFeely]

You? University of Miami. Who else?

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, I'm going to say back then, University of Texas.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, Texas was strong.

[Dale Hellstray]

All Southwest Conference cheated.

[Larry McFeely]

And just not even a little. Like, this is just flat out, just.

[Dale Hellstray]

Blatantly monthly payments and things like that. I'm not saying SMU ever did that, but at Southwest, did you get paid.

[Larry McFeely]

Like, on a regular basis? Not you, but, like, Eric Dickerson and.

[Dale Hellstray]

I. I would guess that the guys who are really like, I. I got stuff.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay. You were treated well.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah. So I. I can't complain, right? I guess I can't complain because I never drove a Corvette.

[Larry McFeely]

And I believe it was you that told me that one of these superstars, initials Ed, said that the reason he went to SMB is because the car was better.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, no, I never said that.

[Larry McFeely]

I think you told me that there was a fleet of cars.

[Dale Hellstray]

Literally. Literally. Texas A and M bought him that Trans Am.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, really?

[Dale Hellstray]

And he changed his mind at the last second. What's A and M gonna do? Hey, give us our car back.

[Larry McFeely]

He kept the car for school.

[Dale Hellstray]

He didn't go.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that was the story. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

You know, Texas A and M colors and all that.

[Larry McFeely]

You had a Red Raider Trans Am Eric Dickerson's driving around with.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

At smu.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Laughing the whole time.

[Dale Hellstray]

Brown and maroon Whatever A and M's colors were.

[Larry McFeely]

So I've never liked college football for the reason of. Of its phony sanctity, of, you know, the love of the game and all this stuff.

[Dale Hellstray]

Studies and academics, just student athletes on it.

[Larry McFeely]

Exactly. No, you're not. You're a money machine slave for the giant college football operation.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right?

[Larry McFeely]

That's all you ever were. You were free labor.

[Dale Hellstray]

Labor, yes.

[Larry McFeely]

That is it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

And then they relied on people who went to that school to pay you. And again, ASU's got it figured out finally. A little late. Ohio State's been doing it for a long time. The more students we have, the more love we create for this campus, the more down the road money's gonna come into our system.

[Dale Hellstray]

No doubt about it.

[Larry McFeely]

Those boosters, they don't need that anymore.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right?

[Larry McFeely]

So I'm watching this game with you, with asu. I'm still upset about it. I don't care about ASU at all.

[Dale Hellstray]

Neither do I.

[Larry McFeely]

And I'm mad because it's. We got the wool pulled over our eyes, that this is a fair contest because that's that call.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh.

[Larry McFeely]

Of targeting. Oh. Texas gets that call. Am I wrong? You flip those uniforms, the game's as close. Texas gets that call and gets a chance to win it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

So college football wanted ASU to be like, we don't need these guys at the party anymore.

[Dale Hellstray]

No doubt about that. The guy went over to the replay machine, and I'm sure somebody's in his ear going, hey, Texas wins this game.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah, just make it so. Yeah. They're not kicking a field goal here.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

We're not. We're not making. And we're not going to be the reason ASU wins. Is that not going to happen? And then so you just. You just get this sour taste in your mouth that it's like, why not just pick the eight teams that do best on TV that spent the most money on their rosters and put them in a playoff and stop the farce? It's all nonsense. Ohio State, Alabama. Alabama almost got into this playoff with three terrible losses and a team that never was very good because that's the one that people watch.

[Brady]

But they got that one wrong. Right?

[Larry McFeely]

Well, got it right, Schmid. It doesn't matter. They were trying as hard as they could. You say M, right, Schmid? I said it doesn't matter. Is the. The point. I'd like to said something else. There's rules. But what I like to said was, oh, you. Brady, Right? Means that.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah. Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

But basically what I'm saying is, is they got it right because the pressure from. Of rigging it that bad would have looked horrible. And they knew at least like, well, we've tried everything we can to get him in, and it's just not going to work.

[Dale Hellstray]

But the great thing about it was ASU legitimately had a shot at the end. Yeah, yeah, legitimately had a shot.

[Brady]

I don't think it was rigged.

[Larry McFeely]

It's completely.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, that, that, that missed call, if it was just bang, bang, and you got to move on to the next one when you actually go and review it. That is exactly the definition of targeting in the room.

[Brady]

Seen about 40 of them all set say that.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Brady]

And then a guy yesterday showed me another expert on it, and he goes, read the rule. Okay, now, I still disagree. That's gonna get called.

[Larry McFeely]

If you were to. You were put a video together to show the rest at the beginning of the season, what we're looking for.

[Dale Hellstray]

That's it. They'll have it on there for next year.

[Larry McFeely]

And they will. They will use it as a teaching tape.

[Dale Hellstray]

Unless the helmet has a sun. A Texas Longhorn.

[Larry McFeely]

Exactly. It'll be. Yeah, they'll show the one from the game that ASU came, got suspended from, which was less egregious. I'm still upset about it. And again, I'm not a guy who screams flags change games they can. This was the most egregious operation of abc, ESPN and Fox saying the teams we want in the end are not ASU and not Boise State. If they're playing around, getting close to find a way to get them out of there.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

And you just get rid of it. So you look at the who's in, who's left, and it's like, well, of.

[Dale Hellstray]

Course, because this isn't. Did he catch the ball? Was there a little bauble where you could sit there and discuss it ad nauseam? This was lead with the crown of the helmet. Make contact with a receiver helmet, but.

[Brady]

I still call it. It was the face mask right here.

[Larry McFeely]

It was the top of his head and he was in the air. There's absolutely zero defense of it. There's none. It was the targeting rule. And if. And the other thing about is like, oh, it's for the safe. Well, if it was. That guy should have been out.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

Because if you're really, truly serious, we talk about Bill Bates. If you're really, truly serious about the future of these guys and their safety and their health, that's the one. You're like, we have got to make a point.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes. To say it's an episode, a point.

[Larry McFeely]

Of emphasis drives me nuts.

[Brady]

I thought the big part of it was being defensive.

[Dale Hellstray]

At the end of the day, I. I'm not an ASU fan. They didn't recruit me back in 1980.

[Larry McFeely]

And you were living right here.

[Dale Hellstray]

I. I held up. Held it against him. But if you look at it honestly, it might be the best thing that ever happened to him.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, because they got kind of a sympathy thing.

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, yeah. Oh, they. They. They've gotten more attention and all that from this to where. If they would have won that game, if they. If they. If they would have went on to win the game and they have to play the next. The. The next week, they might get blown out.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

And it's like they are what they are. Right.

[Larry McFeely]

But, you know, again, the next week, and I don't think it could happen. They go into Ohio State and at least be competitive.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

It's just different. ASU got screwed. That's bottom line. And in college, football's always been a. A fake.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

Mess. And that's it. Well, we're getting to the NFL. I just take a break. We're going to get into the NFL next. And you, you have the distinction of being a man who. Former NFL player, three time super bowl champion, who came in here as our NFL expert and did not get a single week's worth of picks correct.

[Dale Hellstray]

Hey, I'm 100%.

[Larry McFeely]

You are.

[Dale Hellstray]

I'm 100.

[Larry McFeely]

Either way, you need to know is Dale saved you money if you started to listen. Go. Do not do what he does. You did not lose. Dale Hellstray is with us. It's 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Love it. It is a green day right there. But you got me all fired up there. Hollister's got me all juiced up about footprint football. It is. Before we get anything else. What else is on your mind before we talk NFL? Not a whole lot.

[Dale Hellstray]

I had a good break Christmas. Yeah. Did you have a good break?

[Larry McFeely]

I got sick. I was sick for about a week of that, and then I saw you, like, a couple days. I felt better. And you were just telling me the whole time I sounded like I was sick still?

[Dale Hellstray]

Because I was.

[Larry McFeely]

But. No, but I was better, but I just kind of got sick. And then I hung around. Didn't do a whole lot of nothing. But that's a good thing. Vacations where you're doing nothing are great. Great vacations.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah. So. So. Have you ever thought about, like, Stem cell therapy or something to toughen you up.

[Larry McFeely]

I had a cold.

[Dale Hellstray]

I had a cold, Johnny.

[Larry McFeely]

That's the first cold I've had all year.

[Dale Hellstray]

See, the thing is, when your cold goes to your nose.

[Larry McFeely]

I didn't say it was a small cold. There's nothing stem cells can do about shrinking the gigantic holes I breathe through. And F you for that. Anyways, football this weekend. Playoffs are here. Oh, I just told you my theory off the air of what's going to happen. You've got the wild card round, which is. I like the way they've revamped this for the NFL to where, like, you've got the number two seed playing on the first weekend, which is huge to give the first two weeks off. Don't need that. But you've got some games this week.

[Dale Hellstray]

You got some games this week and it starts tonight.

[Larry McFeely]

It does.

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, college football playoffs starts.

[Larry McFeely]

You know, I'd rather watch a wild NBA. At least. @ least they're not faking.

[Dale Hellstray]

You were into that ASU game.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, because I didn't. Because I got fooled again. And then they. To quote the who, I won't be fooled again. Crown your champion this weekend.

[Dale Hellstray]

I don't.

[Larry McFeely]

Whoever. I don't know.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's the semifinals.

[Larry McFeely]

You could do it this weekend. They've already got. It's already in the script. We already know the Rock will be the champion after he beats Stone Cold. It's the same. It's the same sport. College football is a farce. Always has been. Always willing movie. It's crooked. It's always in trouble because it's always cheating and lying and it never changes.

[Dale Hellstray]

You can't cheat now because there's no rules.

[Larry McFeely]

That's true. Now. They just got rid of the rules. How will. They'll find a way. They'll make it crooked again in the future. It's just such a knobbery.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, the next five nights. I mean, Thursday through Monday.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, well, the only ones that matter to me are Friday and Saturday and. Or Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Yeah, you got a Monday night playoff game.

[Brady]

But what plays tonight?

[Dale Hellstray]

It is Penn State. Notre Dame.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, it is.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, and then tomorrow's the other semifinal. Texas, Ohio State.

[Larry McFeely]

And I haven't gotten the script yet, so. And I don't want to spoil it, but I already know who won both games because it's already been predetermined. We got the weekend games Saturday. You think my Steelers going into Baltimore. Tell me about how that works. You're the Dallas cowboys of the 90s. You draw the six seed New York Giants to come into your building and you lose. You've lost to them a few times for some reason. You've even told me the Washington Redskins that had two wins beat that amazing Cowboys juggernaut a couple of times. You're like, we can't get past these idiots. They hate us so much. They, they beat us. The Giants come in downtrodden, only thing in their world is to beat their division rival and take them out of the playoffs. It grips you, doesn't it, as the one or two seed?

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, what it does is you look at the Pittsburgh Baltimore rivalry and again I played in one of those games. My extra man, last game in a Raven uniform. My long story three game career.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, the Ravens. You got, you got three 60 minute runs with the Ravens and then this.

[Dale Hellstray]

Said, you gotta go look back, I said, thank God we lost because the next week is. I think when the Steelers had to go up to New England, it was like five below or something.

[Larry McFeely]

You're too old for that. You retired that moment.

[Dale Hellstray]

40 years old.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh God, yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, I was dumb. But such a great rivalry and so many things. Like when you talk like if you say Cowboys, Giants. Well, it's one thing if my quarterback has a history of crapping, dropping off in the playoffs.

[Larry McFeely]

Love it.

[Dale Hellstray]

You know, I mean, I mean, I mean look at Lamar Jackson's regular season. Come on, it's amazing. It's ridiculous.

[Larry McFeely]

Amazing.

[Dale Hellstray]

And yet playoffs. The last three years or so he.

[Larry McFeely]

Struggled and he's done it the last three years.

[Dale Hellstray]

With each year that you struggled the previous year. The pressure matters mounts. Oh yeah, the pressure mount.

[Larry McFeely]

Talktail Hill.

[Dale Hellstray]

And so, and so when you look at, I, I would feel good about picking the Steelers.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. With the points, I think there's seven points or six and a half points.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, no, I, I would definitely.

[Larry McFeely]

What you just said scares me because if you're willing to pick the Steelers, there's always this 35, three ravens mushing.

[Dale Hellstray]

Hey, there's always a first time, right, Johnny? I mean, you know what I mean? You, you had sex for the first time when you were 32. There's always a first time.

[Larry McFeely]

You do eventually knock the cherry off, right? Yeah, that's true. Maybe Dale will get. Yeah, the Steelers are nine and a half point underdogs. Yeah, they're giving them no credit.

[Dale Hellstray]

The other part of it is if you're, if you're not familiar with, I mean this was. Steelers lost four games in a row.

[Larry McFeely]

In a row and first time since.

[Dale Hellstray]

98 and they have not looked They've.

[Larry McFeely]

Been competitive in every game until it. Until the wheels kind of fell.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Every. Other than the Chiefs game, they really didn't play well in that. But the Eagles game, like weird, down three, one fumble, the game's over.

[Dale Hellstray]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

You know, they just. They started making mistakes they hadn't made. So you would take the Steelers plus nine and a half.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, in a heartbeat.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, I'm with you.

[Dale Hellstray]

Those gave me nine points for sure. But I think, I think they can division rivals and Colin Coward is one of the guys who turned me on to this. Games are always close.

[Larry McFeely]

Yep. Yeah, they're given 10 in a division.

[Dale Hellstray]

Game, especially those two because they. There's legitimate. I only played two games with the Ravens the week getting ready for the Steelers. It was a different vibe.

[Larry McFeely]

No kidding. They.

[Dale Hellstray]

They hated each other back in 2001.

[Larry McFeely]

When they didn't need to.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

And so that's only grown over the years.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's great. So, yeah, that's a big one to me. And that's. And 17 games. Something like that. In the last 17 times these two teams have met, like three games have been decided by more than one score. So it's almost always three points.

[Dale Hellstray]

Five again, playoffs. And Lamar, they're like oil and water. They don't.

[Larry McFeely]

They don't do the Buffalo Bills, your original team, lose to Bo Nicks, the rookie.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, not in a.8 and a half.

[Larry McFeely]

Points for that one.

[Dale Hellstray]

Gosh, eight and a half points.

[Larry McFeely]

Big for playoff games.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah, but I can see Bo, Knicks and Denver kind of pooping the bed a little bit.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, Vikings come here with the Rams because they're probably going to play here because of the fires. Do you go to that game?

[Dale Hellstray]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, I wouldn't either.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, because there's a lot of unwashed people. There will be free tickets.

[Larry McFeely]

You make a great point because it'll have to be a freebie.

[John Holmberg]

It's on the west side as it is.

[Larry McFeely]

Left side freebies. Dale makes a strong point.

[Dale Hellstray]

Hide your kids.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with Dale on this one Now.

[Dale Hellstray]

D. If you get a sweet for us, I'll go.

[Larry McFeely]

Unwashed sweets.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, wash sweets. Did you invite people? You know they still charge for the sweets.

[Larry McFeely]

Probably.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

But still you got to. You got to manage your way through the riff raff to get into your sweet box.

[Dale Hellstray]

Be ready to fight, baby.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't know if I want to do that. That's kind of like being in one of you see those third world countries where the nice houses look down at all the.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, I don't want to do it. Vikings, Rams. And that would. How about that as a football game? The Cowboys have a great season, win their division and earn the home game. And then you got to go play in some neutral stadium because there's a storm or there's a storm.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah. But you got to think of Minnesota and that. And that's a plus.

[Larry McFeely]

No, it's huge for them.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

They're already a better team.

[Dale Hellstray]

You got to believe they're a better team. It's a little bit disappointing when you think about it. We won 14 games and we're going on the road the first round of playoffs.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

But no, I. I would probably take a Minnesota straight up.

[Larry McFeely]

One and one and a half is all. They're given the Rams for that.

[Dale Hellstray]

Okay. Especially if it's out here because again, think about the Rams. Well, whether you live in Pacific Palisades or Hollywood Hills or whatever, you probably know somebody.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

You don't know if the game's going to be here, there. Minnesota's again, a plane.

[Larry McFeely]

No matter what, they're going wherever they.

[Dale Hellstray]

Plane lands, you know, And I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe they fly out here on Saturday.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Have a little workout Saturday afternoon. The game's here Monday. Great. If they have to go to somewhere else, that's fine.

[Larry McFeely]

That's true. They can sit and kind of have.

[Dale Hellstray]

A 45 minute flight from here to tell.

[Larry McFeely]

Good point. So you take the Vikings in that one no matter what.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

And then that's it. All right. So your fanduel picks are. Steelers straight up.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

You're gonna take them as a win or you're gonna take the points? Take the points for sure. Nine and a half points.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Money lines.

[John Holmberg]

Plus 400 on that one.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. 440 on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Plus 440.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, no.

[Larry McFeely]

Take the Bills straight up. They're going to be the Bills.

[Dale Hellstray]

The Bills. You can actually give the point and.

[Larry McFeely]

A really good game. Eagles, Packers. Which one? Do you go there in Philly?

[Dale Hellstray]

I think. I think Philadelphia is better than.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Who's going to win it? You said this in the beginning of the year. I think you said it would be Ravens. Cowboys.

[Dale Hellstray]

I did not.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, no, that was me. That was my bet.

[Dale Hellstray]

That was my bet.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. I had Ravens, Cowboys. Because I was a believer that they finally figured something out. Out. Man, they're terrible here.

[Dale Hellstray]

Here's what concerns me. Like, Detroit obviously had the best regular season by far.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

And I love the way they play. They're physical, they're tough and and all that. But will their injuries eventually catch up with them?

[Larry McFeely]

Wouldn't it be great, though, if Detroit won it before the Browns, before the Bills, before all those teams that have been almost there a few times or.

[Dale Hellstray]

Have been to the game?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Well, the Browns didn't win, but the Lions had, have never been a competitive thing.

[Dale Hellstray]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

Since forever. And for them to just show up and win their first Super Bowl, I don't think anybody's too upset with that.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, I think everybody would be cheering for him.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Because it'd probably be them and Kansas City and kind of like, and kind of like when Dallas was, was going Good in the 90s, people just hated the Cowboys because they didn't want to see him anymore.

[Larry McFeely]

Wow. This guy says. He said while Dale's making predictions, remind him of the time he told me me. There's a guy named Philip who evidently knows you. The only way Denver wins against the Green Bay packers in the super bowl is if Brett Favre gets in a car crash on the way to the game. Phil. Philip Calvert, he said.

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh, really?

[Larry McFeely]

So you said that and you told.

[Dale Hellstray]

Him, well, tell Philip to get to work.

[Larry McFeely]

Quit reminiscing about things Dale lost. But Dale has never made a good pick in football. So when he said that what he was doing was giving you the, the, the knowledge that the Broncos were going to win the game, I, I, I.

[Dale Hellstray]

Again, you know, I, I, When I talk, you listen. John, you. Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense. And then, you know, nobody knows what's going to happen.

[Larry McFeely]

That's right. Nobody knows. Especially you. And you prove that every time. All right, well, there you go. So he's got my Steelers. It's all I'm worried about. That. But nine and a half points. I'm, I'm taking that all day.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's cool.

[Dale Hellstray]

Nine and a half points. A lot.

[Larry McFeely]

Like, they haven't been paying it. Like, they're just so high on the Ravens, it's ridiculous. All right, football's here this weekend.

[Dale Hellstray]

Are you having a get together?

[Larry McFeely]

Always. Steelers game is always there. You can come by, but don't be a dick. Don't wear your Ravens crap. Oh. Although when you did show up in your Ravens gear, the Steelers beat him.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, when I show up with my Cowboys.

[Larry McFeely]

No, we lost the Cowboys game. You showed up with your stupid Raven shirt for the Ravens game.

[Dale Hellstray]

I can't bring a raven super bowl trophy, though.

[Larry McFeely]

No, you can't do that. But you did show up in your stupid Raven shirt and started moping around that and Then by the end, you were cheering for the Steelers because you realized, and I. I wouldn't let you leave.

[Dale Hellstray]

No, you tried to leave.

[Larry McFeely]

That's right. You tried to leave. I'm like, you're not going anywhere. Steelers won the game.

[Dale Hellstray]

All right.

[Larry McFeely]

Dale Hellas Ray is here Thursdays just to talk about football and how wrong he usually is with it and that he knows John Lithgow. He watches college football with John Lithgow. The entertainment drill's coming up next. It's 98.

[Eric Schwartz]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Eric Schwartz]

No membership fees.

[Larry McFeely]

I have heard enough of this for you. P.D. kornberg's Morning Sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. That's the only thing about Dale being here is that he's talking about the Suns, too. You had me all high and mighty on the NFL stuff. I felt great about it, and then you brought up the Suns, and.

[Dale Hellstray]

My God, we're not talking about it. Yeah, I mean, did you ever. Did you write a check at the beginning of the season or you make monthly payments?

[Larry McFeely]

No, I did. I did a full payment.

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, at least you don't have to write a check every week. I don't feel reminded. Go. God, they suck.

[Larry McFeely]

It still stings that that money's missing, but.

[Dale Hellstray]

But, you know, you could take me to the Railroad Room now. We don't need to reservations.

[Larry McFeely]

Let me get you in the ra. This won't embarrass me as much because there's nobody in there to see us.

[Dale Hellstray]

I was going to say, do you need reservations anymore?

[Larry McFeely]

We can get into the Rah. Rah Room is the only place to be. Otherwise, you got to watch the game. Yeah, that's a good point.

[Dale Hellstray]

Hey, are there any nice sights in the Raha Room?

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yes. Yeah, it is becoming a Vegas steakhouse. There's a lot of, like, people dressing up for the room now. Okay, so it's becoming a. Oh, is that what she's wearing? Watch this. And then the next time you go, everybody's gonna one up in their game a little, except me. Yeah, I still look like.

[Dale Hellstray]

Do you wear jeans when you're doing that?

[Larry McFeely]

What I have on right now, except for the sweatshirt, will be a sun sweatshirt. I don't care. Now, when I do go on an off night, that's not the suns. I'll.

[Dale Hellstray]

I'll put a pair of Slacks on?

[Larry McFeely]

No, no, no slacks. Nice jeans. Like dark jeans that maybe from a distance people are thinking are slacks, tails and then. Yeah, like a collared shirt or something.

[Dale Hellstray]

Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

Nothing. I'm not going crazy. No suits or anything.

[Dale Hellstray]

Have they lowered the prices in there since they suck?

[Larry McFeely]

Shockingly, no. You think that that would be something.

[Brady]

Happy hour special.

[Larry McFeely]

Really? There's nothing happy about it. There's no happy hour at the end of that hour.

[John Holmberg]

20R.

[Larry McFeely]

Here's my coupon. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Ready to go for a new year. New you, all that stuff. I'm not a big one for resolutions, but if you're going to do it, do it right. Don't pick something that's going to bore you in a month. Find something that challenges you on a regular basis. And that is exactly what tactical black will do. Price is too good right now to pass up to personal training. Two months. 199 bucks for two months. That's amazing. Hands on work that you're going to get nowhere else. And the stuff they teach you is beyond compare. It's a goofy world out there. No reason not to be prepared while you're in it. React defense.com's the place to do it. Take advantage of this deal while they're still doing it. It's the home of tactical black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have finalized their divorce and JLo's keeping the $5.6 million engagement ring. 5.6.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't love any. What?

[Brady]

Ready for this, Dale? What that brings. The total tally for jlo rings from five guys worth a total of 17 million.

[Larry McFeely]

She kept all of them.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Somebody cheaped out.

[Larry McFeely]

She's Gollum. Yeah, you're right. That would be Ben brought in six to the 17.

[Brady]

The second time her first husband spent 130 grand.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that was a long time ago. So in fairness and I think he was a dancer, but you're right.

[Brady]

Upgraded it to 200,000.

[John Holmberg]

Did a rod give her a ring? Was he in the. In the mix?

[Brady]

It was worth two mil.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. All right.

[Larry McFeely]

Jesus.

[Brady]

Mark Anthony paid six and a half million.

[Larry McFeely]

So that's 13 million between Mark Anthony and Ben Affleck.

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, just, just now. What about the first one?

[Larry McFeely]

That's a good point because he asked her before.

[Brady]

Well, I said that that was the first one spent 130 grand.

[Larry McFeely]

No, the first Affleck click engagement. Maybe she was Just keep that. She might. Yeah, she might have handed that one home. She's a ring collector. She's gone. First time you give her a ring, it's as good as gone. Like she's a pawn.

[Dale Hellstray]

Shot more than my damn super bowl ring.

[Brady]

And she's probably not at that house, but Ben, you know, this week, moved into her house because of the fire.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, geez. So they might get married again. He might get along. So if he. If he. If they start. Start. If they rekindle like Brett. I don't know if you know about this, but Brett's parents divorced twice and got back together both times.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and then we're together at the end too, so.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, so.

[Dale Hellstray]

And hold. So did your dad give another engagement?

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's a good question.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think he. I think they just use the old one. Screw this, let's use it.

[Larry McFeely]

Smart man.

[John Holmberg]

I think he added to it, but not crazy.

[Larry McFeely]

So does Ben. If they rekindle, have to do it again?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Another six mil, you're saying no?

[Brady]

I'm saying no.

[John Holmberg]

I think he would.

[Brady]

You're good. You're good with that. I think he was six mil.

[Larry McFeely]

I think. Brad, I think at this point, Ben gets to go through her drawer of engagement rings and pick one out. This is your new one.

[Brady]

Maybe do a new setting or something. Yeah, but don't get a new.

[Larry McFeely]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

He gets her a new ring. He gets her a new ring.

[Larry McFeely]

Definitely.

[John Holmberg]

If they get back to it. The less whore's already collecting rings as it is. So what's another one?

[Larry McFeely]

Not one single person listening out there should ever, ever ask Jennifer Lopez to marry them again. She should die in old mate like, lesson learned ring.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Brady]

That you're not gonna wear.

[Larry McFeely]

If anything, Dale, you should, you know, get your connections together, get Michael Irvin over there, woo her, and then let's find out where that drawer of rings is. And we'll get a little. We'll get a little sting going. We'll steal the rings and we'll.

[Dale Hellstray]

Michael, take her dinner.

[Larry McFeely]

We'll.

[Dale Hellstray]

We'll slide in.

[Larry McFeely]

We're going and getting those rings. There's $17 million in there for Dale and I to heist. 59 year old Brooke Shields is releasing.

[Brady]

A memoir on Tuesday. Brooke Shields is not allowed to get old thoughts on an aging woman. When she was 40, she got a laby labia reduction surgery due to discomfort bleeding.

[Larry McFeely]

All right.

[Brady]

And chafing, but she dealt with that since high school.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on, I gotta find a video.

[Larry McFeely]

Her labia were so big, they chafed and bled lead, I guess so. That's just chapped lips.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, she got it fixed.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they don't have Carmax for that.

[Brady]

She went in for the procedure.

[Dale Hellstray]

What about a little bit of lip gloss?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Throwing a little.

[Larry McFeely]

What are they, Betty Bloom or whatever that stuff was.

[John Holmberg]

The Burt's Bees.

[Larry McFeely]

Bonnie Bell. That's the stuff.

[Brady]

So she went in for that reduction surgery, and the doctor says, by the way. Yeah, give you a little twofer. She's like, what?

[Larry McFeely]

Tighten it up.

[Brady]

He did rejuvenation, but she didn't want.

[Larry McFeely]

That, so you don't have to pay for it. It's a freebie.

[Brady]

It was a freebie. But she says, I felt like it was. I didn't ask for that. But he saw I never had that problem, and. And she said, surgically raped.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, God. If you woke up from, like, back surgery and the guy's like, I added a couple inches. You're not gonna sue anybody.

[Dale Hellstray]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, here's a tip Palace. Yeah, exactly. She gave you an extra tip. While I'm out, if you find anything else wrong, feel free.

[Dale Hellstray]

I tried to get the doctor to do a two for on me when I had my hip replaced. Says, hey, while you're in there, can you take a little liposuction out of your belly?

[Larry McFeely]

Is that what's going on here? Nah, it's not.

[Dale Hellstray]

He didn't do it.

[Larry McFeely]

That's an industrial strict Hoover. If they got all that out, Dale's.

[Brady]

Got Bonnaroo Festival news.

[Dale Hellstray]

I never heard of this.

[John Holmberg]

Shocking.

[Dale Hellstray]

Insane clown Possum will make their Bonnaroo debut this summer.

[Larry McFeely]

You don't know the icp. No.

[Dale Hellstray]

Do you?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, you'd like them.

[Dale Hellstray]

The lineup for Bonnaroo 2025 was unveiled yesterday. And here's something you didn't expect to hear, Johnny.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Dale Hellstray]

Bloodhound Gang, the Insane Clown Posse.

[Larry McFeely]

You've already said that.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Is that a. Is that a group?

[Larry McFeely]

You'd love them.

[Dale Hellstray]

Sadly, they will not be the headliners. That goes to Luke Combs. Olivia.

[John Holmberg]

Your boy Luke Combs.

[Dale Hellstray]

I like Luke Combs. He gave me this. Hey, there's a country.

[Larry McFeely]

Luke Combs is in it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Other act.

[Brady]

I thought he'd light up a little more, but.

[Dale Hellstray]

Queens of the Stone.

[Larry McFeely]

Stone Age. Good stuff.

[Dale Hellstray]

Glorilla.

[Larry McFeely]

Glorilla is great.

[Dale Hellstray]

Megadeth.

[Larry McFeely]

You've never heard of Megadeth?

[Dale Hellstray]

I've heard of Megadeth.

[Larry McFeely]

What? Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Avril Lavine, Modest Mouse. These are all great big bands. Have you heard about Modest Mouse?

[Larry McFeely]

Independent alternative band. Yes.

[Dale Hellstray]

That sounds Like a font that nobody's ever heard. Foster the people. Nelly and Natasha. Betting field.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Larry McFeely]

It's. You know what? It's like somebody gets hit in the head and you give them words to read. Like it's therapy for, like. I don't know any of these words.

[John Holmberg]

I will not knock the Brady Report no more.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, at least for today.

[Dale Hellstray]

The festivities go down on June 12th. John, maybe you and I should. Let's go to Manchester, Tennessee.

[Larry McFeely]

Let's do it. And we'll go see Glorilla. This is Glorilla for you.

[Dale Hellstray]

What?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. I don't know if we can play it. Can I even play this? That looks pretty good right there. Oh. See?

[Dale Hellstray]

Oh.

[Larry McFeely]

Huh.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yo, Nelly.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, Nelly's on there, too.

[Brady]

There.

[Larry McFeely]

It's getting hot in here. It's getting hot in here. Yeah. You've heard of Nelly?

[Dale Hellstray]

I have heard of Nelly.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah. I'm not a recluse, John. I just know stuff. That it's pertinent. You know, a lot of nonsense.

[Larry McFeely]

I know a lot. And sentence.

[Dale Hellstray]

What's your favorite font?

[Larry McFeely]

Well, I actually do kind of like Comic Sans. I didn't want to say it while the comedian was here. You are so weird. Yeah, and I like that.

[Dale Hellstray]

I like Comic Sans is a. Yeah, it's like, on your computer.

[Brady]

It's a nice.

[Larry McFeely]

I like New Times Roman. I think it makes the point.

[John Holmberg]

That's the most common one, I think, isn't it?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

[Dale Hellstray]

You're three idiots talking about font Calibri Bowl.

[Larry McFeely]

Everybody knows font fonts. There's people coming in shouting their favorite font impact. What's yours? Futana. He likes that one.

[Brady]

You gotta get a font.

[Larry McFeely]

What is it? Verdana. I thought you said Futona. I didn't.

[Dale Hellstray]

Never heard of it.

[Larry McFeely]

Verdana. I do know. Okay. I like that one. See? Dale, get on the font game. Everybody's doing it.

[Dale Hellstray]

Just give me block letters.

[Larry McFeely]

Just give him blocks. All right, let's get the hell out of here. We're done. Larry's coming in here, he's got his favorite font for you, and you can text him yours, 97936 if you're interested. Oh, you're watching the. Look at that.

[Dale Hellstray]

Look at that.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, that's a nice.

[Dale Hellstray]

Go ahead.

[Larry McFeely]

Glorilla's hot.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yes.

[Larry McFeely]

She makes her butt clap.

[Dale Hellstray]

You can't make your butt clap, Johnny.

[Larry McFeely]

I can.

[Dale Hellstray]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

You want to see? I'll show you. Show them the other video real quick.

[Dale Hellstray]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

All right. Let's get out of here. We're all done. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great day. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. Hello? Hey.

[Eric Schwartz]

It's not weird.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brady]

No membership fees.

[Larry McFeely]

I have heard enough of this.