Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Condensed Short Show (01-09-26)

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness 98KUPD
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guests: Rick Glassman, Marlon Wayans
Date: January 9, 2026
Episode Type: Condensed, Comedy & Commentary
Timestamps reflect the MM:SS format.

Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a fast-paced mix of banter, irreverent humor, and social commentary. The crew, led by John Holmberg with regulars Brady, Brett, and guests Rick Glassman and Marlon Wayans, riff on recent emails from listeners, touch on Broadway musicals & masculinity, gay/straight labels, conspiracy theories, personal anecdotes, and the guests’ stand-up appearances in Phoenix. The entire episode is marked by a candid, playful, and edgy tone with frequent detours into outrageous personal stories and audience emails.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Listener Email Sparks Broadway & Masculinity Debate

(Starts at 01:10)

• A listener, Douglas, sends a homophobic email after John praises "Book of Mormon," equating Holmberg’s appreciation for musicals as “gay”.

• John and the crew dissect and mock the idea that enjoying Broadway is a threat to one’s masculinity.

• Jokes abound about musical theater, personal preferences, and homophobia.

  “The praise of a musical. Automatically gay to the point where the guy just can't possibly fathom it.” – John Holmberg (02:32)

• They swap stories about shows they've loved and critique the notion that liking something associated with gay culture makes you gay.

2. Exploring Boundaries: Is This Gay?

(Extended run from 14:28 on)

• The group debates a listener’s provocative question: If, during an oral encounter, you discover your partner isn’t what you thought, “does that make you gay?”

• The hosts go back and forth, considering hypothetical situations (“If you finish, is that gay?”).

• The conversation gets philosophical, looping in thoughts vs. actions, the reaction afterward, and pop-culture references like The Crying Game.

• The line is blurred, with much laughter, but the consensus becomes: Enjoying or seeking the experience again points to orientation, but accidents or one-off cases don’t necessarily define you.

  “It doesn't make you gay, though. It just makes the act gay. You do not go on now as a homosexual.” – John Holmberg (17:12)

  “If something can make you gay, guess what. You're gay.” – John Holmberg (04:32)

3. The World of Artistic Nudity & School Tales

(09:10–14:28)

• John shares bizarre and humorous school anecdotes about classmates drawing (and hiding) explicit cartoons of teachers and students—skilled enough to be considered “art.”

• They joke about “artistic license” and where the line falls between creative freedom and nerdy perversion.

  “It gave him license to draw naked people because every once in a while, he would draw something, you know, stunning.” – John Holmberg (10:53)

4. Conspiracy Theories: Crisis Actors & the Space Shuttle Challenger

(26:46–36:15)

• The hosts mock the idea of “crisis actors” and conspiracy theories (e.g., 9/11, Challenger astronauts living under new identities).

• Holmberg jokes about wanting in on the action if it means millions to “fake his death” and start over, riffing on the compensation and conditions he’d require.

  “If that's real, if that's a real thing that Alex Jones talks about all the time… I want in. Where do I sign up for this?” – John Holmberg (27:25)

5. Analog Life in 2026: Laughing at ‘Going Off-Grid’

(36:26–39:03)

• The group lampoons trends toward “living analog”—using paper calendars, alarm clocks, and board games.

• They joke about how little such measures last when digital is so convenient, poking fun at people trying to be “old school” for its own sake.

  “That's like saying, I'm gonna live a life without air conditioning. It's better. But don't, you know, don't overdo it and set it to 55 and pay an exorbitant bill.” – John Holmberg (37:11)

6. Grandma’s Plastic on Furniture: Squirting Theory

(39:03–43:01)

• Holmberg posits, semi-seriously, that plastic-covered furniture existed to save it from “squirting grandmothers,” launching the group into a hilariously inappropriate discussion blending sexual education with nostalgia.

• Guest Rick Glassman shares a story of learning about sex from books before actually kissing anyone.

  “I have a theory that plastic on the furniture was that generation's way of keeping the squirting grandmothers from ruining stuff.” – John Holmberg (39:03)

7. Rick Glassman’s First Kiss, Sexual Awkwardness, and Comedy Roots

(41:00–46:12)

• Rick details buying a book (by Kim Cattrall) about sex before his first kiss – both educational and unintentionally comedic.

• Holmberg and the group riff on late bloomers and the oddities of sex ed, leading to Rick promoting his shows and podcast.

  “It's important that not that you make a woman come but that you make her feel safe.” – Rick Glassman (45:37)

8. Marlon Wayans on Diddy Parties, Drugs, Sobriety & YouTube

(46:53–54:00)

• Marlon shares wild stories about never quite seeing the infamous “freak offs” at Diddy's parties—always just missing the action, and being accused of being a “snitch” threat.

• He speaks openly about experimenting with drugs during COVID for “method acting,” flavored cocaine, and stopping after losing friends to fentanyl.

• Marlon plugs his stand-up at Stand Up Live and a new YouTube project.

  “I never saw the freak offs. And that's why part of me is mad at Diddy.” – Marlon Wayans (47:36)

  “You guys are trying to kill black people. You were trying to get me hooked. I see. This is the white man trying to get the black population back on drugs.” – Marlon Wayans (50:50)

9. Interlude: Studio Mascots, Shots, Running Gags

(52:10–54:15)

• Running jokes about a colleague “Thriller” and comedic musical gags fill this segment as the group passes shots around.
• The energy is high, the stories kinetic, and the episode closes out with a toast and banter.

Notable Quotes, Moments & Timestamps

• On Homophobic Listener Email:
  "You have no idea how much I used to love you until I discovered this morning you're nothing but a penis. Smoking, anal banging, rosebud, homosexual... I'll probably see you on Andy Cohen or on Bravo someday with your new show, Homo." – Douglas’s email, read by John Holmberg (01:28)

• On the Fluidity of “Gay Acts”:
  “It doesn't make you gay, though. It just makes the act gay. You do not go on now as a homosexual.” – John Holmberg (17:12)

• On Conspiracy Theories:
  “...I am begging whoever's in charge of that program to contact me. I will be your martyr and fake die on TV for the money and then the witness.” – John Holmberg (27:25)

• On Generational “Prepping”:
  [On plastic-covered furniture] “I have a theory that plastic on the furniture was that generation's way of keeping the squirting grandmothers from ruining stuff.” – John Holmberg (39:03)

• On Learning About Sex and Kissing:
  “I ended up buying a book to learn how to kiss. And the book was about squirting.” – Rick Glassman (40:45)

Guest Promotions & Shoutouts

• Rick Glassman:
  Performing at Desert Ridge Improv, host of the "Take Your Shoes Off" podcast—upcoming episodes with Jack Black and Paul Rudd.
• Marlon Wayans:
  Shows at Stand Up Live, promoting his cigars at Fox Cigar, starting a new YouTube project.

The Tone

The show features fast, unscripted, and edgy humor. No topic is off-limits: sex, drugs, conspiracy, or the absurdity of modern life. The friends roast each other, the news, and their own personal histories with equal delight.

Anyone unfamiliar with “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” would find this episode a crash course in boundary-pushing morning radio, Arizona-style: quick, brash, full of vivid stories, and daring comedy.