Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 01-09-26 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY (January 9, 2026)

Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guests: Rick Glassman, Marlon Wayans

Episode Overview

This Friday episode blends the show’s signature irreverent humor, banter about Arizona life, sports talk, bathroom confessions, and lengthy riffs on musicals, art, and sexuality, while welcoming guests Rick Glassman and Marlon Wayans. The show covers local comedy events, controversial listener emails, conspiracy theories, generational quirks, and the importance of humor and empathy in dark times—with no subject off-limits.

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Local Comedy Rundown & Opening Banter

Timestamps: 00:38 – 01:45

• John promotes upcoming comedy shows across Arizona:
  • Xiao Ying Summers, Sammy Obey at Tempe Improv
  • Rick Glassman at Desert Ridge Improv
  • Marlon Wayans at Stand Up Live
• Technical mishaps during show open spark jokes about producer skills and timing the music precisely.
• Playful exchange about the song “Piss Ball Pete” and its role in show timing.

Memorable moment:
John: “You are magnificent at it. This morning…just swung and missed.” (02:39)

2. Bathroom Etiquette & Over-Share

Timestamps: 03:09 – 05:51

• John shares detailed stories about his intense aversion to public work bathrooms, preferring to return home (or even to an empty rental) for comfort, and shunning the subpar work shower.
• Anecdotes lead to a discussion of acceptable bathroom conduct, “airing out” workplace facilities, and various methods of cleansing.

3. College Football Playoffs & Arizona Sports Climate

Timestamps: 05:51 – 08:06

• Recap of the Miami vs. Ole Miss game in Arizona.
• Touches on college playoff drama and pass interference calls ("Hail Mary? All bets off!").
• Observations about fan presence in the city and local dining spots as college sports invade town.

4. The Book of Mormon Musical: A Spirited Review

Timestamps: 08:06 – 13:52

• Brett saw "The Book of Mormon" musical and raves about it in graphic, comedic detail.
• John and Brett trade favorite moments, songs, and their affection for edgy satire.
• The conversation tackles why musical theater is often perceived as “gay” and delights in how the show harnesses both irreverence and brilliant, pointed uses of profanity.

Notable Quotes:

John (08:16): "They say the C-word in the most perfect way I ever heard in my life…"
Brett (08:58): "It’s brilliant. It’s truly brilliant."

5. Responding to Hateful Listener Mail: On Musicals, Masculinity & Insecurity

Timestamps: 13:09 – 15:40

• John reads a particularly vicious and homophobic email from a listener ("Douglas") triggered by praise for "Book of Mormon."
• The team dissects the fragile masculinity behind equating musicals with homosexuality and spins out hilarious tangents about Broadway, drawing, and self-acceptance.

Notable Quotes:

John (14:00): "If something can make you gay, guess what? You're gay."
Brady (15:46): "It's a gateway activity, John!"

6. Artsy Kids, Drawing Nudes, and "Pervert or Artist?"

Timestamps: 16:03 – 22:50

• Hilarious reminiscences about schoolmates who drew elaborate nude or sexual caricatures of teachers and students.
• John argues that anyone who routinely paints or draws nudes—especially loved ones—is "more pervert than artist," which devolves into brief discussions about Titanic, art, and masculine posturing.

7. More Listener Mail & the Gay Panic Hypotheticals

Timestamps: 51:02 – 56:59

• The show unpacks a listener’s question about unintended sexual encounters: "If you discover mid-blowjob it’s not a woman, but finish—are you gay?"
• The guys trade answers ranging from philosophical to absurd, landing on: You’re only gay if you want to do it again.
• Many references to "Schrodinger’s gay cat" and whether thoughts or acts make a person gay.

8. Conspiracies, False Flags, and Witness Protection Fantasies

Timestamps: 62:32 – 86:50

• The show tackles the viral Minnesota ICE shooting, expressing skepticism toward both sides. John pleads for empathy and rationality rather than tribal politics.
• Playful, extended riffs about being "recruited" for government conspiracies, faked deaths (Challenger, 9/11), and living new lives in witness protection.
• The team weighs the perks of sudden wealth or staged martyrdom for a payoff.

Notable Quote:

John (71:05): "...if that does exist, someone out there knows it. Get him in touch with me. I’m all in."

9. Sports: Fandom, Merchandise, and Changing Loyalties

Timestamps: 44:54 – 50:58

• Gentle mockery of "wearing another man’s name on your shirt" as a kind of modern “man-friendly gayness.”
• Detour into Titanic and Fifty Shades of Grey as examples of women’s problematic definitions of “romance.”
• Jokes about Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, Bill Belichick, and the intersection of sports, money, and transactional relationships.

10. The "Beretti Report"—News, Science, and Bizarre Facts

Timestamps: 90:54 – 104:01

• Brady’s news segment with random oddities:
  • Theodore Roosevelt’s daughter’s pet snake
  • Ancient Egyptian proctologists: “shepherds of the anus”
  • MTV's ill-fated “Dude, This Sucks” pilot (literal poop spraying incident)
  • Lawsuit over meat price-fixing
  • Survey claims soccer is now America’s #3 sport
• Science news includes poisoned arrowheads and robot swarms

11. Extreme Videos, Taboo Jokes, and Audience Discretion

Timestamps: 104:01 – 112:35

• Brady and Brett share a series of increasingly disturbing, “NSFW” viral videos (e.g., sexual stunts, injuries, AI fakes).
• The hosts react with laughter and horror—classic “Morning Sickness” unpredictability.

Guest Spotlights

Rick Glassman

Timestamps: 116:38 – 138:53

• Arrives late, riffs self-deprecatingly about setting alarms, family, and being a Cleveland Browns fan.
• Shares a heartfelt, funny story about realizing—through a basketball league—he wasn’t as well-liked/socially integrated as he’d believed. This leads to broader advice on asking questions rather than making assumptions.
• Explains how deep curiosity and direct communication changed his understanding of self, social circles, and the world.
• Talks about learning to kiss from a Kim Cattrall book, awkward first times, and integrates standup bits about scientific sexuality.

Standout Moment:

Rick (130:08): "I think if I were to go bigger... I don’t think people know how often they don’t know something... It’s important to ask questions."

Marlon Wayans

Timestamps: 139:13 – end

• Proclaims the hosts his “favorite whites” in typical Marlon fashion, sparking playful racial banter (“Cracker Love”).
• Engages in a rollicking Steelers vs. Ravens football discussion, delighting in sports rivalry, hatred of the Ravens, and joy of watching young fans get their hearts broken.
• Speaks candidly (and humorously) about never being invited to the infamous “freak-off” afterparties at Diddy’s mansions (“I was there till 3:30am, nothing happened. They said: you missed it! 3:32!”).
• Jokes about his own foray into drugs during COVID, the dangers of fentanyl, and quitting after multiple friends died.
• Discusses performing, YouTube, and being boring off-stage (prefers writing, sleeping, cigars, and whiskey).
• Shares his struggles learning to throw a football for a movie role, being replaced by a stunt double, and thoughts on the pleasures of shrooms, Star Wars, and trippy sexual experiences.
• Promotes his upcoming special about his child’s gender transition—not just their journey, but his own journey of denial to acceptance.

Notable Quotes:

Marlon (170:10): “…when I pulled my meat out my pants, it went VVVWOM! Like a lightsaber.”
Marlon (159:06): "Live every day like it’s your last. Tomorrow’s not promised. Laugh at all that is dark…"
Marlon (182:19): "I have a new special…about my trans child…not their transition, my transition…going from denial to acceptance..."

Memorable Quotes / Moments

• John (14:00): “If something can make you gay, guess what? You’re gay.”
• Brett (08:58): “It’s brilliant. It’s truly brilliant.” (on Book of Mormon)
• Marlon (139:47): “Whites that I love. We represent whites that we blacks fight for.”
• Rick (130:19): “Those little moments of filling in the blanks calibrate how you see people and the world.”
• John (62:51): “I’m probably going to comply with the guy with the gun more often than not. But I’m going home.”
• Marlon (159:06): “Live every day like it’s your last…laugh at all that’s dark…life gets darker and darker.”
• Marlon (182:19): “...the transition, not their transition—my transition. Going from denial to acceptance…”

Key Timestamps for Segments

| Time | Segment/Content | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:38 | Comedy events promo | | 01:45 | Show formal start—banter | | 03:09 | “Piss Ball Pete,” morning habits, bathroom rant | | 08:06 | Book of Mormon musical review | | 13:09 | Homophobic email & masculinity riff | | 16:03 | Drawing nudes/art vs. perversion | | 44:54 | Sports fan gear = “manly gay,” Titanic/Fifty Shades romance talk | | 51:02 | Listener Q: accidental gay encounter—what does it mean? | | 62:32 | ICE shooting, conspiracy theories, false flag chat | | 86:50 | Witness Protection/alter ego brainstorming | | 90:54 | Beretti Report: weird news, science, fun facts | | 104:01 | Video reactions—gross-out segment | | 116:38 | Rick Glassman guest segment | | 139:13 | Marlon Wayans guest segment | | 159:06 | Marlon’s life advice/words of wisdom | | 175:46 | Entertainment drill: Tom Cruise, Jackass, angry comedy | | 182:08 | Marlon: transitioning (his child’s and his own) |

Episode Tone & Style

• Raw, unscripted, near-the-edge: Holmberg and crew shine when taking unexpected left turns and giving taboo topics a heartfelt or comedic twist.
• Authentically “Arizona”: Local in-jokes, sports references, and personality-driven commentary.
• Inclusive, provocative, unfiltered: Topics range from scatological to sentimental—but always with wit and an ear for hyping up the audience or guests.
• Guests are welcomed as trusted friends, resulting in candid, insightful exchanges that move smoothly from raunchy to real.

Summary Takeaway

Today’s episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a wild, wide-ranging romp through sports, theater, art, sexuality, politics, social awareness, and the stupid things guys do when left unsupervised. Rick Glassman and Marlon Wayans keep the laughs fresh, intelligent, and heartfelt—with Wayans particularly delivering moments of genuine vulnerability and wisdom amidst the chaos. Whether they’re debating what makes someone “gay,” pondering conspiracy theories, or just roasting one another’s bathroom habits, the crew delivers top-shelf Arizona morning radio: abrasive, often inappropriate, but surprisingly earnest beneath the bombast.

For comedy listings, tune-in info, or more about the show, visit 98kupd.com.

"Live every day like it's your last. Laugh at all that is dark... life gets darker and darker."
— Marlon Wayans, (159:06)