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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Brady
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute dot com.
Unknown
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brady
He's evil.
John Holmberg
Sitting right here.
Brady
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Time now for Brady to report the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Then we say, Brady Report it.
Dick Toledo
Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it.
Brady
Hello.
Dick Toledo
Happy National Quitters Day. All right, the second Friday in January.
Brady
I'm out.
John Holmberg
Let's bounce.
Brady
Let's do it.
Dick Toledo
The resolutions are done.
Brady
Yeah, that's enough.
Dick Toledo
This is the biggest day.
Brady
The 10th, the Friday before the weekend.
Dick Toledo
Second Friday of January.
Brady
Yeah, we're done here. I have to say, also on a related note, to what we were talking about with our big boss man who's unfortunately just. I mean, just. I can't even imagine. I text him. Text back. When he said the house is gone, it broke my chest that he has confirmation that it's gone. I can't imagine what he's going through. Somebody just sent me a post of on Instagram of Pete Lee, the comedian that comes in here. Every once in a while he's downtown. He's been living in Phoenix for a while. Evidently. He just moved back to LA in December. Pacific Palisades lost his house and he put a thing out that said, yeah, my house. It's just weird when you know the people who are going through this. Poor bastards. Poor people. I mean, Pete's a good dude. He just left Phoenix right after Thanksgiving.
Larry McFeely
All of his toots went up in all the toots.
John Holmberg
He's gonna do more toots.
Brady
It's gonna be smashing the cocaine. But yeah. Pete Lee, our friend Pete Lee, regular visitor. He became our period. For a while. He was here once a month like clockwork. Is he still doing the thing downtown or supposed to?
Larry McFeely
Think he'll be back in a few weeks.
Brady
Wow. All right, well, he can stay at my house if he wants. That's terrible. Man, oh, man. All right. Sorry, Birdie. God.
Dick Toledo
Couple basis. Fun facts. The Pet Shop Boys named their first album Please. So people would go into the record shops and say, can I have the Pet Shop Boys, Please?
Brady
People don't do that. They just go find it themselves.
Dick Toledo
When Queen Elizabeth II was just a princess in 1945, she joined the British military for World War II and trained to be a mechanic.
Brady
Tough broad.
Dick Toledo
Sean Connery had a chance to play Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings. He turned it down because he didn't understand the scripts.
Brady
Who did?
Dick Toledo
Sean Connery.
Brady
Oh, no kidding.
Dick Toledo
He even was. He was offered a piece of the back end of the movie.
Brady
Oh, Sean, guess what?
Dick Toledo
He would have made it.
Brady
Had to be $100 million.
Dick Toledo
450.
Brady
Oh, my God. Sometimes we don't make the best decisions. Brady, what are you looking at? So I made a bad choice. Big deal. I died before I could have enjoyed it anyway. You bastards. I can't imagine none shall pass. I, a wizard. I. I enjoy being a wizard in the Lord of the Rings. Stop mentioning the name of the movie. I can't help it. It's the costume.
Dick Toledo
Done. Dragon heart or whatever.
Brady
You kind of dressed up like that once before, but you put that gray wig on Sean Connery. That's a cool look. Like in your head. That's like, oh, Gandalf the Great. Oh, he could have done it.
Dick Toledo
All right before. Hurricane. The top two selling items at Walmart are. Before what? Before a hurricane.
Brady
Like, before a hurricane? Yeah, Walmart, Florida.
Dick Toledo
What's the number two items fly off the shelves?
Brady
Cheetos beer. And Cheetos beer is correct. Okay, then some sort of snack.
Dick Toledo
Pop Tarts.
Brady
Okay. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
Anyways, what's in your hurricane emergency pack?
Brady
You can taste it when you think about it. It's just disgusting.
John Holmberg
Especially when you're on the can like our old receptionist.
Brady
She wasn't drinking beer, was she? No.
John Holmberg
The Pop Tarts.
Dick Toledo
I don't know about the beers.
Brady
I might have had one hidden in the tank. That was the best day of my life. In 25 years of working in radio in this building. 24. However long we've been here, stopping our old receptionist from going into the bathroom to drop a deuce and eat some strawberry Pop Tarts at the same time. You can't give yourself an oral blumpkin while you're. You can't do it. You're such an asshole. Like, no, I'm saving you from embarrassment. I'm gonna tease you for. And here I am, still 20 years later. Where are you going? Bathroom. Put the food down. It's lunch. Oh, dear Jesus. Do you hear yourself? I'm going in there because I don't have time. How long is it gonna take to drop whatever you've got inside you that you can't knock down? Two Pop Tarts. Besides, it's Pop Tarts. They can sit on your desk. You don't need a lunch break to eat Pop Tarts.
Michael
I'm not doing it.
Brady
And they had to try to wrestle them away from her. That was a battle. She took a poo and eight strawberry Pop Tarts.
Larry McFeely
You mean, did you win the battle?
Brady
No.
Larry McFeely
Right?
Brady
No. I'm not actually going to, you know, try to physically assume poo hands at that point. Not yet. No. No. She wouldn't have poop hands before not wrestling them out of her hands after she comes out of the bathro. Yuck. Besides, if she's doing it right, they're gone.
Dick Toledo
At that point, two thirds of us think starting the year out clutter free is a key. And a third of us are making a top priority right now. Realistically, you might have the same goal in 2026, but a lot of people start out the year. I got to get rid of the clutter. They said. How long does it last? They asked people after you've gotten clutter free in the areas that you wanted to be. 38 days.
Brady
No kidding, man.
Dick Toledo
Harvard Medical School collected data from on how often adults 18 and older use Instagram, Tick Tock X or Facebook. And then they compared people's social media used to how they scored in various mood tests.
Brady
Wait, what?
Larry McFeely
What ages again?
Dick Toledo
18 plus.
Brady
Oh, okay, just adult.
Dick Toledo
Basically, they found that people that use More social media are more likely to feel irritable, angry and annoyed a lot quicker than the average person not using social media.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
The heavier the usage. Yeah. It's not makes your mad. Yep.
Brady
Yeah. You get angry when you're on there because trolls exist there and you're hanging out with trolls. It's not good.
Dick Toledo
This country has the most powerful passport. It's not the United States. I'm like, what makes a passport powerful? How many countries you're allowed to go in? Is it in Switzerland this year? Number one is Singapore.
Brady
What does that mean?
Dick Toledo
If you have a Singapore passport.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
You can go to 195 destinations.
Brady
Your passport, it allows you in. I didn't know that. Some passports block different places.
Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah. We're number seven. We have 186 destinations. Number two would be Japan. 193 if you have a. See, the worst is Afghanistan.
John Holmberg
They can go to Afghanistan. That's about it.
Brady
Can you get Afghanistan with a passport? Other stand. One other stand. It's a stand for a stand.
Larry McFeely
Kyrgyzstan.
Brady
Right.
Larry McFeely
Or whatever that. Turkmenistan, maybe.
Brady
I don't know any of the stands. I'm not going to any of the stands. I'll never be in a stand.
Larry McFeely
You're not vacationing?
Brady
No stands. Stands are off the list. Culmberg's morning culbers, morning sickness.
Unknown
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Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is blowing kind of cool.
Brady
But it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.
Larry McFeely
Is that a big deal to get done?
Brady
Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.
Dick Toledo
That's awesome.
Brady
I'll say. We're Amco.
John Holmberg
Google.
Larry McFeely
Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco, Double MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.
Diane Fisher
Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 and McClintock, Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto, and so much more. We're also online@fishertools.com CUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fish are tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.
Michael
This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today.
Brady
Holmberg's morning sickness. People that always say they want to see the world, they're like, you're not going any of the stands, though. You see Australia, you want to see all the beautiful parts of the world, you're not going to the stands.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, but over the years, you just haven't sold me on that flight.
Dick Toledo
If you.
Brady
It doesn't matter. It's better than the stands. If you had a free flight to Turkmenistan or from Afghanistan, you have access.
Dick Toledo
To 26 destinations stands.
Brady
There's probably 24 stance.
Larry McFeely
Russia and all its former.
Brady
Yeah, Russia probably likes you. Iran and then every other stand that exists. Stanistan.
Dick Toledo
Uber just announced a new promotion specifically for teens. They're offering six free rides. If you send them proof that you failed your driver's test.
Larry McFeely
They'Re gonna fail on purpose. My son would. Yeah, because he would have gotten a break.
Dick Toledo
They said each ride is worth up to $20, so it's about 120 value if you look at it.
Brady
That's not bad. Larry. Larry's signing up to be a test dummy for Waymo's Freeway Rides.
Larry McFeely
Oh, awesome.
Brady
I know. He's like, I'll do it. I'm like, how'd you get on that? He's like, I signed up for it. You can sign up to be, like, a beta tester of their freeway rides. And I'm like, if there's no driver, would you still get in on the freeways? It's not done yet. And he goes, oh, yeah. I was like, man, I don't think I. I trust the Waymos and I like them a lot, but I'm waiting until they make their first few.
Dick Toledo
I want to be there on that first accident.
Brady
I don't want. I don't want to be the one going, nope, nope. Got it wrong.
Dick Toledo
It got confused.
Brady
Yep. No, it didn't know where it's going on the freeway.
Dick Toledo
It just.
Brady
It stepped on it.
Larry McFeely
Alex's new mechanic offers free Uber rides when you drop off.
Brady
Oh, that's nice.
Larry McFeely
Stapley's Garage. Thanks, Jason.
John Holmberg
Well, it's got to be free campaign.
Brady
Alex is not paying that mechanic.
John Holmberg
Might as well be Toledo paying.
Brady
Tell that mechanic something else is free too. All his work. He doesn't know it yet, though.
Larry McFeely
He met Alex yesterday. It was an interesting conversation. When Alex dropped off the car.
Brady
Yeah, I'm gonna give you the fix.
Dick Toledo
He should be the ride.
Brady
And he doesn't have a car. He's giving it to the McPay for this.
Larry McFeely
I am.
Brady
Is it all that killer bread dough you've got going on? Don't think we didn't notice. You slipped that Toast advertisement you've got.
Larry McFeely
I didn't slip it. I told you guys about it. December, when it came down the pipe.
Brady
I'm like, we didn't think you were serious.
Larry McFeely
How did that come to me?
Brady
Yeah, you got a Bread who matches up best with this, and it sounds great. It sounds like an awesome thing, but bread endorsement from Toast over here. We had no idea.
Larry McFeely
Daveskillerbread.com reset.
Brady
Yeah, sounds fine by me.
Dick Toledo
There's an independent takeout chain in the UK that has been shut down, opening a new franchise in this town. The town said, no, no pizza chain here because our kids are too fat.
Larry McFeely
And that's in this country?
Dick Toledo
No, it's in the uk. The town is called Backup Lance or Backup Links. Sorry. The town council said, I believe the children here are too fat. We don't want to add any more fast food restaurants in our town.
Brady
Good. Keep the kids skinnier.
Dick Toledo
See if that starts other towns doing stuff like that.
Brady
Yeah, well, it's not their fault. It's not. It's convenience will always trump that, but not their fault. It's not the. The restaurant's fault you're fat.
Dick Toledo
We have A serial butt slapper on the loose in Colorado. Cops are asking people to help identify him.
Larry McFeely
On the loose.
Dick Toledo
A woman in Denver, a suburb of Lakewood, was out jogging New Year's Day when he drove up behind her on an E bike and slapped her in the butt. Then a day later, he did it again to a different woman, same area. At least two other incidents have been reported so far. Someone got a shot of him on his E bike, but you can't see his face.
Brady
Kind of E bike is it. It's not a pivot shot. It's not mine.
Dick Toledo
Serial butt slapper might sound funny, but.
Brady
Sexual assault, and it leads to other things. Like if once you start getting tired of slapping butts, you're gonna. We've evidently had that problem in the building before where people can't keep their hands off of you, and you let them have a free taste. And then the next Christmas party, they're grabbing the front side.
Dick Toledo
We've got a little spin on a Bonnie and Clyde.
Brady
We're gonna let you. We're gonna let you keep working here, but you gotta stop touching people's bottoms. No problemo. And then a Christmas party later, it's like, okay, we did tell him to stop touching butts. He technically listened to us, but he's grabbing a lot of.
John Holmberg
Well, we got his address and sent him off to his house.
Brady
And then his address when we tried to put him in the Uber. Included racial slurs, and still managed to work here for a little while after that.
Dick Toledo
We've got a new Bonnie and Clyde, Florida style happening crime in Polk County, Florida. They're looking for a man and a woman who stole around $500 worth of cleaning supplies from a family. Family Dollar Store last month. And the employees who really need these cleaning supplies because this is how they got away with it. While the guy was collecting the cleaning supplies in a cart, wheeling them out, the woman distracted the staff by taking a dump on the floor in another aisle.
Brady
Oh, my.
Dick Toledo
She caused the poop distraction. The guy dashed with the cleaning product.
Brady
We never had that at the office.
Dick Toledo
There's footage of them from the store surveillance store. That we know of.
Brady
That we know of. Well, I think we'd know the pile of poo in the hallway would let us. It's a pretty big indicator from the dollar store, though.
John Holmberg
Yeah, class it up. Steal some more from somewhere else.
Brady
I agree. Can't have riff raff stuff like that going on.
Dick Toledo
And now it's time for some science news.
Brady
Hello, my friends. Look at them going. Something else going on. There.
Dick Toledo
Mathematicians calculated the perfect body type for hula hooping. And yes, curves help. They found it's a lot easier for people who have a thin waist and curvy hips.
Brady
Sorry, science. Your halo of dreams have died. Well, he's mad at it.
Larry McFeely
Of all the things that we expect. Excited about.
Brady
It basically was a study that said everyone but you can do this straight down. Yeah, yeah. If you're shaped like a snowman, it's just a belt.
Dick Toledo
The first satellite made of wood was deployed from the space station and will orbit the Earth for the next six months.
Brady
That's pretty neat. That actually is a pretty neat thing. We start building those out of wood and they're not coming back. And then the atmosphere will just eat it up. There's no threat. Just got to get them up or.
John Holmberg
The embers will hit la.
Brady
You know what?
John Holmberg
I know it could have been.
Brady
That's right. What if. Just what if we don't. Do we want to take that chance?
Dick Toledo
Scientists think they've pinpointed where the super volcano under Yellowstone will erupt. But they say it probably won't happen for hundreds of thousands of years.
John Holmberg
Next story.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, we talked about it.
John Holmberg
Doesn't affect me. Don't care. Where's Jay Cutler?
Brady
He's out there.
Dick Toledo
That's your science news.
Brady
Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else. Well, first of all, we've been in a valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance.
John Holmberg
Companies, so that we can work together.
Brady
To make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com It's Dick Toledo and new customers.
Larry McFeely
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Dick Toledo
We've been hearing President Trump talking about wanting to buy Greenland. This might be a. A tough one because if we do purchase Greenland or if we can. But he's. By doing it, he's pressuring Denmark. He's going to raise tariffs there, right? He's like, I'm going to really raise him. And if he does, that means Ozempic. We go. He goes through the roof.
Brady
Yeah. That's theirs.
Dick Toledo
Nova Nordics. The medical company.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
It's worth 300 billion. That's where it's produced. So that means Ozempic will go through the roof on the cost.
Brady
So if we tariff them, fat people will not be able to shoot their. Kill my food product.
John Holmberg
We'll just make our own.
Brady
Yeah, why don't we just do that anyway? We know what it is at this point and we could do that.
John Holmberg
Brett.
Brady
Brett's very right. Why are we using Denmark when we have some of the greatest fat scientists in all of the world? I think that's a great thing. Let's do that instead.
John Holmberg
We got a beast here to test it on to. We're fine.
Dick Toledo
We'll put another program together. Get it lightning fast.
Brady
Yeah. Hey, Obama, watch this. You know how to answer it. All right, let's do it. Hey, Mike. Mike Pence. Yes, sir. I need you to certify something. Obama. These nuts. Great one. You see his face? I saw his face. That was hilarious. Pence is gonna cry. Boo hoo hoo. You are the most fun ex president. Current president of all time. Right back at you, bro.
Dick Toledo
Sharon McDonald's.
Brady
I got you a McRib. How did you know? Wild guess.
John Holmberg
Orange drink, of course.
Brady
Here you go. This is yours. Wow. A high seat and a McRib. I told you. I'm like, great for black people. All these other presidents didn't get it. I get you, homie. What do you got in the videos? Go ahead.
Dick Toledo
I got Brett's videos.
Brady
Oh, Brett's got them all.
John Holmberg
So I got them all. Yeah.
Brady
Friday's videos for Brad. Go ahead. All right, here we go.
John Holmberg
Let me pull them up. See here.
Brady
Oh, you're not ready.
Dick Toledo
Yes. Usually he goes, yeah, yesterday.
Brady
No, yesterday had some gems.
John Holmberg
We got some good ones today.
Brady
All right. That's right.
John Holmberg
Let's. Oh, we already had that.
Larry McFeely
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
That was yesterday.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Toledo missed that one.
Brady
So it was at the vet.
John Holmberg
Oh, all right, let's Try this one.
Brady
Oh, all right. This is a. But we got a blurry general situation, which means we're in Japan.
John Holmberg
Look at that dong.
Brady
There is a Thailand good rimini. That is a four foot dong.
John Holmberg
And I think that that's a he she there.
Brady
So yeah, that's why Japan is digital. But the. The dong is going. Yeah, that's. Those are magnificent going into this Heishi. And the stomach is rising and falling as it enters. Oh, that's horrible. That's. And there's a. It's machinery like this took effort and energy and. Oh, we're in a bad country. There's a half a guy laying on the road. All I got to do is.
Larry McFeely
You do this on Monday or is this.
John Holmberg
That's a different one.
Dick Toledo
That's a different one.
Brady
You got a pan left or right up there. Where's this bicycle? Is that his teeth? Did they fall out of his mouth?
Dick Toledo
See all the signs?
Brady
People crossing, folded, crossing themselves. This guy? Yeah, he's Samsonite. He's kissing the bottom of his own foot.
John Holmberg
I got hammer time here.
Brady
Okay, here's one where our guys are in some sort of a weird. I don't know if that's a store. Oh, he just took a hammer to.
John Holmberg
The face of the other guy.
Brady
It's a little hatch claw end into a dude's temple. He's dressed as Lionel Messi. He's got some Argentinian soccer gear on. And they attack the dude who's. He's alive or is he?
John Holmberg
Yeah, I think she's holding.
Brady
Oh, that's not the same dude, is it? Yes, it is. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Larry McFeely
Is that him dead? What are they tied him up for?
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't know.
Dick Toledo
Is that the next one tied up? Oh, yeah. What a birthday party.
John Holmberg
There we go.
Brady
Oh, my goodness.
John Holmberg
And Yera, this goes with a couple of last year's videos too.
Brady
Okay. There's a guy by the trash. He's a man dressed in black. It's like little Stephen from E Street Band. And he's going through the garbage. He's reaching into a bag. That's a tampon, I think. Isn't it a woman's pad? And he is eating. He found it in the trash. He started to eat the woman's patty.
John Holmberg
And look, he takes it for later too. Just puts it in his pocket when he's done.
Brady
Oh, he can't get enough of that delicious stuff he puts in his pocket.
Larry McFeely
Did you just do super golden?
Brady
Yeah, I did. Yeah, because it's like one of those. Remember those Those candies that taught us as kids how to be. How to do acid. Oh, you had to bite the little things off of the paper. Those. LSD for kids.
John Holmberg
Oh, this one was sent in. This is a. Where'd it go?
Brady
That was awful.
John Holmberg
This is from Nicholas. So he's not one of our. He's not Cranly Bailey.
Brady
So this is auditioning.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
Video from Nicholas. This is. What is that, a poop? A guy's got a. Oh, he's got a tortoise. He's got a Dorito chip and he's. And he's dipping it into some dog poo and he's got a nice dip on it. He's barefoot and he's walking over to somebody.
Dick Toledo
Oh, he's gonna feed a body.
Brady
Yeah, he's definitely gonna drop this in someone's mouth. Oh, he's got the poop right up close to the camera. We're going into it. Oh, oh, he's putting it. His buddy said taste it. Puts it right into it. Oh, my God. Oh, man, he's. Is he full? Dead. Oh, he ate it. Oh, he did eat it. He did. He did taste it. He says it's guacamole. It's not guacamole. Oh, he's picking up the poo that fell and put it in his mouth. He doesn't know. And he's finishing it off. What's the reaction? What's that? What is that? Oh, it's poop. He just fed his friend poop on a Dorito chip.
John Holmberg
And we'll just. Where is that at here? Oh, we'll just. We'll just end for this one. One girl, one cigarette.
Brady
One girl, one cigarette. Okay. She's smoking. She's a middle aged lady, just farted.
John Holmberg
She's having a classy, as you can tell.
Brady
Got a dart in her mouth. She's having a smoke blue flame and she's taking it down south things. Oh, she's putting. She's putting it in there in the rose.
John Holmberg
Oh, just wait.
Brady
Her butt has fallen out and she's using it to smoke now.
Dick Toledo
Does she loop it?
Brady
Yeah. Can that come out of the top? The top hole is not ingesting the smoke. The bottom hole is. And now we're looking at her. Still holds. Oh, she's putting the whole cigarette in.
Dick Toledo
She doing the one guy that does the.
Brady
Yes. Oh, the whole cigarette's going in. It's a lit cigarette.
Dick Toledo
Oh, why did you do that?
Brady
It was inevitable. Oh, the rosebud.
Dick Toledo
She has an ash hole.
Brady
Oh, yeah. She has an ash hole. And it says right there. Oh, that's not what I wanted to do. Look at the size of the hole. Instant replay, please. Al is the proper answer. What did you expect? You put a lit cigarette in your butthole. Yeah, of course, Al, dummy.
John Holmberg
We'll just end there.
Brady
Yikes.
Larry McFeely
Ow.
Brady
How dare you. Just keep it to yourself. At that point. We knew Al was coming. How did you not know? Lit cigarette in your butt for the Internet. And you expected it to go well? Idiot. It's 8:00. Right on the dot. Big J Okerson's coming in this morning. Love him. He's great. Jay's coming in here in just a little while. Probably a little Eagles happy because they are a front runner, so I'm assuming that there's.
Larry McFeely
Although, is this boy out of concussion protocol yet?
Brady
Jalen? Yeah, he's fine. He's just fine. It was his elbow that was the bigger problem. He's fine. He'll play. The Eagles are a good team. That's a scary one. So we'll talk to Big Jay. Oh, yeah. Just put some portal on. Jay will be here a little bit. There goes your Brady report, everybody. It's 98.
Larry McFeely
Weird.
Brady
It's pretty cool, actually.
Dick Toledo
No membership fee.
Brady
I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode 01-10-25 Summary
Release Date: January 10, 2025
Hosts:
Sean Connery and Gandalf in LOTR During the episode, Dick Toledo revealed an intriguing piece of Hollywood trivia: "Sean Connery had a chance to play Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings. He turned it down because he didn't understand the scripts" (03:31). This sparked a humorous debate among the hosts about Connery's potential fit for the iconic wizard role, with Brady quipping, "He would have made it," and Dick emphasizing Connery's suitability despite the missed opportunity.
Passport Power Rankings The hosts delved into a discussion about the strength of various national passports. Dick Toledo shared, "Number one is Singapore. If you have a Singapore passport, you can go to 195 destinations," (07:56). Conversely, they highlighted Afghanistan's passport as the least powerful, restricting holders to a mere two destinations (08:49).
Science News: Wooden Satellite and Super Volcano In the science segment, Brady reported on the launch of the first wooden satellite: "The first satellite made of wood was deployed from the space station and will orbit the Earth for the next six months," (18:07). The discussion touched on the environmental impact and the innovative approach to satellite construction.
Additionally, the hosts discussed the super volcano beneath Yellowstone: "Scientists think they've pinpointed where the super volcano under Yellowstone will erupt. But they say it probably won't happen for hundreds of thousands of years," (18:27). This led to a conversation about geological preparedness and the improbability of an immediate threat.
Trump Tariffs and Ozempic Impact A significant portion of the episode was dedicated to President Trump's plans regarding Greenland. Dick Toledo explained, "By doing it, he's pressuring Denmark. He's going to raise tariffs there, right? That means Ozempic will go through the roof on the cost," (20:14). The hosts humorously speculated on the consequences of such economic policies, linking them to the affordability of popular medications like Ozempic and Wegovy.
National Quitters Day Dick Toledo introduced National Quitters Day with a light-hearted banter: "Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it," (01:26). The hosts joked about the fleeting nature of New Year’s resolutions, noting that most clutter-free goals only last around 38 days (06:33).
Comedian Pete Lee’s Move The conversation shifted to local comedian Pete Lee, who recently relocated from Phoenix to Los Angeles after losing his house. Brady expressed sympathy, stating, "It's just weird when you know the people who are going through this. Poor bastards," (02:53). The hosts highlighted Pete’s contributions to the local comedy scene and his enduring friendship.
Walmart’s Pre-Hurricane Essentials In a humorous take on consumer behavior, Dick Toledo shared, "The top two selling items at Walmart before a hurricane are Cheetos beer and Pop Tarts," (04:31). This led to a funny exchange about the absurdity of these items as hurricane essentials, with John Holmberg adding, "Especially when you're on the can like our old receptionist," referencing a comedic workplace anecdote.
Serial Butt Slapper in Colorado A bizarre local news story was discussed, where authorities are searching for a man dubbed the "serial butt slapper" in Colorado. Dick Toledo detailed the incidents: "A woman in Denver was out jogging New Year's Day when he drove up behind her on an E-bike and slapped her in the butt," (15:00). The hosts debated the seriousness of the offense, blending humor with concern.
Cleaning Supplies Heist in Florida Another quirky news item involved a theft at a Family Dollar Store in Polk County, Florida. Dick Toledo recounted, "The woman distracted the staff by taking a dump on the floor in another aisle," (16:12). The hosts couldn't help but laugh at the unconventional method of theft, speculating on the perpetrator's motives and the store's response.
Perfect Body Type for Hula Hooping The hosts shared findings from a recent study: "Mathematicians calculated the perfect body type for hula hooping. They found it's easier for people who have a thin waist and curvy hips," (17:27). Brady humorously remarked, "It's just a belt," pointing out the practicality behind the study.
Waymo’s Freeway Rides and Uber Promotion Larry McFeely discussed Waymo’s upcoming freeway rides and Uber’s new promotion for teens offering free rides (12:57). The conversation touched on the reliability of autonomous vehicles and the potential impact of such promotions on teen mobility.
Interview with Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body John Holmberg conducted an interview with Shane Orlando, owner of Orlando Auto Body. Shane emphasized their commitment to quality service: “We work for you, not the insurance companies,” (19:04). This highlighted the shop’s dedication to customer satisfaction and independent service in the Phoenix Valley.
Video Segment: Bizarre and Hilarious Clips The hosts shared and reacted to a series of humorous and odd videos sent in by listeners. Highlights included:
Jay Cutler and Sports Discussions The episode concluded with updates on local sports, including a mention of Jay Cutler and the Eagles’ performance. Brady noted, "He's just fine. He'll play," referring to an athlete’s recovery from injury (28:30). The hosts expressed enthusiasm for the upcoming games and the team’s prospects.
Conclusion
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offered a blend of humorous anecdotes, insightful discussions on current events, and engaging local news. The hosts maintained their signature blend of entertainment and information, ensuring listeners were both amused and informed. From Hollywood what-ifs to bizarre local crimes and engaging science tidbits, the show catered to a wide range of interests, embodying Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show spirit.