Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: January 10, 2025 Host: John Holmberg Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Frank Caliendo Release Date: January 10, 2025
1. Introduction and Comedy Show Promotions (00:00 - 01:58)
John Holmberg opens the show by promoting upcoming comedy events across the Valley. He highlights performances at the Tempe Improv featuring Paul Versey and Beth Stelling, Desert Ridge Improv with Sarah Weinschenk and Joe DeRosa, and Stand Up Live showcasing Lil Rel.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (00:00): "For tickets, go to standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com, and tempeimprov.com."
John also acknowledges a listener's story about recovering from a knee injury at the Core Institute, emphasizing their expertise in pain management.
2. Main Story: Digital vs. Traditional Systems Issues (01:59 - 12:31)
The conversation shifts to the frustrations of modern technology replacing traditional systems. John recounts his experience attending a Phoenix Suns game, where he struggled with digital apartment locks.
Key Points:
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Digital Locks: John explains how the new digital keypad locks without traditional keyholes left him locked out of his apartment during a critical moment.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (03:25): "No, no, no, there's a screen. And there's no, like, camera. So I'm... standing in the hallway like, I'm gonna pee on the carpet. This is not good, you know?"
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Push-Button Car Starts: Both hosts express skepticism about push-button starts in cars, comparing them unfavorably to traditional key turns.
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Digital Ticketing Systems: They discuss the inefficiencies of digital tickets for events, highlighting issues like internet dependency and lack of physical memorabilia.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (10:15): "Guys say, 'My hard tickets were better.' They were better because they worked every time."
3. Technology Integration: Meta Ray Ban Sunglasses (12:31 - 22:25)
John introduces his new Meta Ray Ban sunglasses equipped with smart features, including a camera and voice-activated controls. He humorously narrates his attempts to use them during the digital lock fiasco.
Key Points:
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Smart Features: The glasses can identify objects and provide real-time information.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (16:42): "If I'm looking at Brett, I would say, 'Hey, Meta, what am I looking at right now?'"
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Technical Glitches: The glasses malfunction during his struggle to unlock the door, adding to his frustration.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (17:21): "They’ll tell you what you’re looking at... It wasn’t bad before. It wasn't bad before it worked."
4. Pet Supplies and Feeding Snakes (22:25 - 38:51)
The hosts delve into the topic of feeding pet snakes, debating between live prey and frozen alternatives. They reference a listener who was advised against purchasing a rainbow boa constrictor due to its dietary needs.
Key Points:
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Feeding Prey: John initially considers getting a snake that requires live rabbits but is dissuaded by a listener's concerns about the practicality and ethics.
Notable Quote:
- Brady Bogan (21:07): "You got to be able to get either face to face or send them in the mail."
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Frozen Solutions: They discuss stores like Predator Reptiles that sell frozen rat blocks, highlighting the logistics and ethical considerations.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (22:38): "They have a ghost of dead rabbits in the store. That's a psychopath's fever dream."
5. Fires and Celebrity Impact (38:51 - 58:55)
The conversation turns somber as John and Brady discuss recent wildfires affecting Arizona. They critique the media's focus on celebrity casualties over ordinary citizens and speculate on possible arson motives.
Key Points:
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Media Bias: John laments how fires affecting celebrities garner more attention than those impacting the general public.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (34:39): "If you told me a guy was a pine nut on the list, I'd say that's not too far fetched."
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Arson Speculation: They contemplate the possibility of arson, questioning the motives and methods behind the sudden fire outbreaks.
Notable Quote:
- Brady Bogan (35:33): "The LAPD did catch someone suspected of starting the most recent fire, but authorities are not ready to blame the other fires."
6. Mock-Funeral Skits of Jimmy Carter (58:55 - 79:19)
In a humorous segment, the hosts create a satirical portrayal of Jimmy Carter’s funeral, featuring former presidents Obama and Trump in awkward interactions.
Key Points:
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Presidential Banter: The skit includes exaggerated and fictional interactions, such as Obama and Trump laughing together while Kamala Harris appears frustrated.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (43:51): "Donald gave her a death stare when she sits down... 'I kicked your ass all over this country.'"
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Humorous Dynamics: They poke fun at the awkwardness and surreal nature of such interactions in a funeral setting.
Notable Quote:
- Brady Bogan (44:00): "They're going to have a playoff team... It's going to be weird at State Farm Stadium."
7. Entertainment and Ad Segments (77:43 - End)
Throughout the episode, various advertisements and promotions are interspersed with comedic banter. This includes promotions for Fisher Tools, FanDuel, Action Ride Shop, and the launch of Homburg Bound beer.
Key Points:
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Fisher Tools Promotion:
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (31:51): "Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it."
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FanDuel Sportsbook:
Notable Quote:
- Brady Bogan (32:38): "Win $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins."
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Homburg Bound Beer Launch:
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (63:00): "Come get your six packs, grab a pint, have a beer. We'll clink glasses."
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Local Business Endorsements: The show frequently acknowledges local businesses and events, integrating them seamlessly into the conversation.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (64:53): "Action Ride Shop's got everything you're going to need for the winter, especially if you want to hit the trails."
8. Comedy Skits and Games (79:19 - End)
The latter part of the show involves interactive segments like Guadalupe Squares, where listeners participate in humorous trivia games. Guest Frank Caliendo joins to add his comedic flair.
Key Points:
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Guadalupe Squares: A game segment where participants answer funny and absurd questions, often leading to playful mockery and improvisation.
Notable Quote:
- John Holmberg (141:49): "Domestic cats share just 84.3% of their DNA with tigers."
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Guest Interactions: Frank Caliendo engages in the games, bringing additional humor and spontaneity to the show.
Notable Quote:
- Frank Caliendo (142:01): "Listen, you can go make a public apology. You could go dip your little toe into black dot com."
Concluding Thoughts
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and social commentary, all delivered with the signature banter of John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, and guest Frank Caliendo. From tech frustrations and pet care debates to satirical presidential skits and interactive listener games, the show provides an engaging and entertaining experience for its audience.
Notable Quotes Summary:
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John Holmberg (03:25): "No, no, no, there's a screen. And there's no, like, camera. So I'm... standing in the hallway like, I'm gonna pee on the carpet. This is not good, you know?"
-
John Holmberg (10:15): "Guys say, 'My hard tickets were better.' They were better because they worked every time."
-
Brady Bogan (21:07): "You got to be able to get either face to face or send them in the mail."
-
John Holmberg (22:38): "They have a ghost of dead rabbits in the store. That's a psychopath's fever dream."
-
John Holmberg (34:39): "If you told me a guy was a pine nut on the list, I'd say that's not too far fetched."
-
John Holmberg (43:51): "Donald gave her a death stare when she sits down... 'I kicked your ass all over this country.'"
-
John Holmberg (141:49): "Domestic cats share just 84.3% of their DNA with tigers."
These highlights capture the essence of the episode, showcasing the trio's humor and ability to weave entertaining narratives seamlessly with promotions and listener interactions.