01-10-25 - Guad Squares - w/Frank Caliendo - Biden - Jim Rome - Trump And Obama - Morgan Freeman - Cancer Doc Brady - Football Playoffs Square - Howard Stern

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 01-10-25 - Guad Squares featuring Frank Caliendo, Biden, Jim Rome, Trump and Obama, Morgan Freeman, Cancer Doc Brady, Football Playoffs Square, Howard Stern
Release Date: January 10, 2025
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Platform: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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Introduction and Comedy Promotions (00:00 - 00:31)

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg promoting upcoming comedy shows across Arizona's prominent improv venues. He highlights performances by notable comedians such as Paul Versey, Beth Stelling, Sarah Weinschenk, Joe Derosa, and Lil Rel, providing listeners with dates, venues, and ticket information.

Key Points:

• Tempe Improv: Paul Versey (Thursday), Beth Stelling (Friday-Sunday)
• Desert Ridge Improv: Sarah Weinschenk (Thursday), Joe Derosa (Friday-Saturday)
• Stand Up Live Downtown: Lil Rel (Friday-Sunday)
• Ticket links: standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com, tempeimprov.com

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Core Institute Advertisement (00:31 - 01:05)

Dick Toledo delivers a promotional segment for the Core Institute, emphasizing its ability to alleviate pain and help listeners regain their quality of life after unexpected injuries.

Notable Quote:

• Dick Toledo (00:58): "Life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day, your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold."

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Guest Introduction: Frank Caliendo (01:07 - 06:42)

Frank Caliendo joins the show to promote his upcoming performances. The hosts engage in playful banter, discussing past segments and teasing future content related to Caliendo's showcase.

Key Highlights:

• Introduction of Frank Caliendo and his comedic persona.
• Light-hearted interactions among the hosts about on-air scheduling and personal anecdotes.
• Promotion of Frank Caliendo's shows on January 31st and February 1st at Desert Ridge Improv.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo (01:07): "You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself."

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Guad Squares Segment with Frank Caliendo (06:42 - 17:52)

The segment "Guad Squares" features a game where listeners participate by selecting squares, each associated with different humorous prompts or questions. Frank Caliendo assists in moderating the game, adding his comedic flair.

Key Interactions:

• Presidential Humor: References to Presidents Biden, Trump, and Obama with satirical dialogues.

  • Corey Walsh (07:21): "Folks, when I was growing up in Scranton, Pennsylvania."
  • Dick Toledo (11:16): "Let me ask you a question, Obama. Do you believe in life after death?"

• Celebrity Parodies: Mock interactions involving Jim Rome and Morgan Freeman, blending real personalities with comedic improvisation.

  • Dick Toledo (15:39): "And now Toledo will neuter him."

• Cancer Doc Brady: A humorous take on cancer research and awareness with Brady Bogen providing comedic insights.

  • Howard Stern (14:45): "Everyone has it. If you're weak, you get it bad. If you're strong like me, you don't have it out loud."

• Football Playoffs Square: Discussions centered around the upcoming football playoffs, blending sports commentary with humor.

  • Brady Bogers (15:39): "There's our little Super Bowl winner."

Notable Quotes:

• Howard Stern (14:59): "Everyone has it. If you're weak, you get it bad. If you're strong like me, you don't have it out loud."
• Corey Walsh (16:32): "I was once married to Paul McCartney. Shagged and rotten for years."

---

Howard Stern's Appearance (14:45 - 19:30)

Howard Stern joins the show as a guest, masquerading humorously as a cancer expert. His interactions are filled with satire and playful digs, blending serious topics with comedic delivery.

Key Highlights:

• Cancer Awareness Satire: Stern discusses cancer in a non-traditional, humorous manner.

  • Howard Stern (14:45): "Everyone has it. If you're weak, you get it bad. If you're strong like me, you don't have it out loud."

• Interactive Q&A: Listeners participate by calling in questions, leading to witty exchanges.

  • Miranda (18:01): Engages with Howard Stern on cancer-related queries.
  • Howard Stern (19:06): "That is not true. That's like Toledo. He likes cats."

Notable Quote:

• Howard Stern (19:25): "I am living proof..."

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Closing Segments and Final Promotions (17:52 - 29:58)

The episode concludes with final promotional content and hosts wrapping up the Guad Squares game. Emphasis is placed on upcoming events, listener engagement, and humorous farewells.

Key Highlights:

• Final Promotions:

  • Desert Ridge Improv's upcoming shows.
  • Nighttime dentistry services at a local rodeo with references to orthodontics and arcade gaming.

• Humorous Farewells: The hosts exchange playful goodbyes, maintaining the show's comedic tone until the end.

  • Corey Walsh (29:52): "It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee."

Notable Quote:

• Dick Toledo (28:31): "Frank. January 31st and the 1st at Desert Ridge Improv. You can get your tickets right there."

---

Conclusions and Takeaways

Throughout the episode, "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" blends humor with interactive segments, featuring celebrity guests and engaging games like Guad Squares. The show maintains a balance between promoting local comedy talent and providing entertaining discussions on various topics, including politics, sports, and health—all delivered with a comedic twist. Notable interactions with Howard Stern and Frank Caliendo add layers of satire and parody, enhancing the show's appeal to listeners seeking both information and amusement.

Overall Insights:

• Engagement with Listeners: The interactive nature of Guad Squares fosters a sense of community and participation.
• Balanced Content: Combines promotional segments with comedic discussions, ensuring a dynamic listening experience.
• Humorous Takes on Serious Topics: Approaches subjects like cancer and politics with satire, making complex topics more accessible through humor.

Final Thoughts: "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" continues to solidify its position as Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show by delivering a blend of comedy, interactive games, and engaging discussions. With a lineup of talented hosts and special guests, listeners are assured of an entertaining start to their day.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for.

[Dick Toledo]

The amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day, your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed, right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.

[Corey Walsh]

And.

[Dick Toledo]

And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute dot com.

[Corey Walsh]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Frank Caliendo]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Dick Toledo]

He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 to you. PT we're gonna have the squares in a second. But look, Frank is here, and we're ready to go. Thriller is here. Back again. We didn't get to do the last one.

[Brady Bogers]

No, no. It was funny when you did the last one. I was actually driving over here, and.

[Dick Toledo]

I was like, oh, no, dude. To do it.

[Brady Bogers]

No, no, no. I was doing some other stuff over here in the building.

[Corey Walsh]

What else are you doing? You couldn't. What?

[Dick Toledo]

Wait, you couldn't be here 15 minutes earlier to do the squares?

[Brady Bogers]

No, what I mean is, like, the one we did, like, you did one on Wednesday, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Oh, we didn't expect to do it. I told you we weren't. I got you. Okay.

[Corey Walsh]

You have a total different voice when the microphone's on.

[Brady Bogers]

It's 180. Yes, it's 180.

[Corey Walsh]

No, it might be. No, it is A huge difference.

[Dick Toledo]

You completely.

[Corey Walsh]

Your demeanor changed.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that true?

[Corey Walsh]

You're a different person.

[Brady Bogers]

I'm a little more. Well, I'm a little more nervous today. Kind of trying to figure out scheduling wise for KD Us.

[Dick Toledo]

We got a lot on your mind as well.

[Brady Bogers]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

You got too much to think about. Do you want to take a break? I think you're a.

[Brady Bogers]

But on air, it's like, okay, you.

[Corey Walsh]

Should have come in 15 minutes later.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogers]

What's the worst that can happen on air? Nothing.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that's not true. Something horrible.

[Brady Bogers]

If I fail, you guys will clean it up. It's fine.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow, that's. That's a lot of pressure. I know.

[Corey Walsh]

I am living proof.

[Dick Toledo]

Frank is at. Where are you playing? 10pm I'm not.

[Corey Walsh]

To the end.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[Corey Walsh]

I'm at Desert Ridge Improv, but I'm not there until January. January 31st. February 1st.

[Dick Toledo]

Brady's birthday.

[Corey Walsh]

Brady's birthday weekend. We're celebrating huge. We are celebrating with dirt cake.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah. That's gonna be good stuff. My favorite. That'll be good. All right. Beautiful.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah. What is it? Cblivestill.com.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[Corey Walsh]

Desertridgeimprov.com. that's right.

[Dick Toledo]

They probably still have a cblive.com.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, they do. That's how I get there. I get there. I still can't. I click on C, I write in CB Live and then I click. Desert Ridge Improv.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Oh, I do the same thing. Sometimes I feel like I've typed it, and then I realize it's a new site. Yeah.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, so it still works.

[Corey Walsh]

Desert rich improv. January 31st, February 1st.

[Dick Toledo]

Easy peasy.

[Corey Walsh]

But this week is Big J Okerson.

[Dick Toledo]

Big J's great. He's awesome.

[Corey Walsh]

I've never seen him.

[Dick Toledo]

You haven't gone big. I hear he's a big. That's why they call him that. Big J. Okay.

[Corey Walsh]

How big?

[Dick Toledo]

Big Capital J. Okay.

[Corey Walsh]

The tempe improv. Friday, January 10th. Which is today.

[Dick Toledo]

You're plugging away for somebody else.

[Corey Walsh]

That's pretty nice. I'm a. I'm a quality plugger for everybody.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[Corey Walsh]

He's a plugger. I couldn't think of the words. He just started throwing words. Like Berman. Chris Berman once said, when you have nothing to say, just keep talking. And I looked at him. I want to go.

[Dick Toledo]

You are proof of that. When's the last time you saw him?

[Corey Walsh]

About four hair colors ago.

[Dick Toledo]

The seasons of Berman's hair.

[Corey Walsh]

It's dripping. Here's the season for color. The fastest hair coloring in Sports. Football.

[Dick Toledo]

Number 35.

[Corey Walsh]

Number 3500.

[Dick Toledo]

602.

[Corey Walsh]

It's.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Looks like that's what he must do.

[Corey Walsh]

When he goes in. What color you want to go with today? You know, I was thinking change it up, maybe something a little bit that.

[Dick Toledo]

Will interfere with the green screen. How about that? I brought a picture to make you look like him on his. A picture of Bozo. And I would like to be. If you could get in and do that as fast as you can. The fastest hair coloring in two minutes.

[Corey Walsh]

And now it's time to play the grand prize game. Who didn't bring the ping pong balls? Somebody did. Somebody didn't bring the ping pong ball.

[Dick Toledo]

Cookie. Forget Cookie. We always. You know, Frasier was here. Cookie was always dressed as Cookie just for no reason. Look up Cookie and Bozo, everybody. This is old stuff, but it's good anyway. That's why Frank's here. And we've already lost our minds. Cory, this is your fault, okay?

[Brady Bogers]

Sure.

[Dick Toledo]

For having being so distracted about scheduling down the hall.

[Brady Bogers]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Which, by the way, no one cares anyone shows up or not down there. I don't know how to say it.

[Corey Walsh]

But you're doing nothing.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Corey Walsh]

You're worried about doing nothing.

[Dick Toledo]

Is scheduling. Does it count when nobody listens? Aren't you just. You're rearranging the deck chairs.

[Brady Bogers]

Well, think of it like this. If you're in charge of one closet in the whole building, if it's on fire, that looks really bad on you.

[Corey Walsh]

I wouldn't bring up fire.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe not the best time to bring up fire. All right, Frank's here. We got the people. Let's take a break here because I gotta get this out of the way. We'll come back with the Caliendo squares next.

[Corey Walsh]

Sleepers.

[Dick Toledo]

Morning sickness radiate.

[Corey Walsh]

K U pd.

[Frank Caliendo]

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[Jim Rome]

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[Corey Walsh]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

The sun's tried to get you. We gotta get into that later. I guess I didn't realize they were trying to recruit you for. It is time now for your Friday. So it means it's Guadalupe squares. And we have a special guest today. Frank Caliendo is here to help us out because he's got a show to promote, so why wouldn't he? It's January 31st, February 1st, Desert Ridge Improv. That's how you go. And you go see Frank. Tickets on sale right now, but you can go see other comedians on the way up to that. Three more weeks until Frank shows up. So it's even better. We've got our friend Corey Thriller. Walsh is here. And let's get right to it. It's your Guadalupe squares. Corey. Take it away.

[Brady Bogers]

Thank you, Chancellor. Let's start the top left square President for a little bit longer. Mr. Biden.

[Corey Walsh]

Folks, when I was growing up in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

[Brady Bogers]

Is that where it was therefore the.

[Corey Walsh]

Fire kind of fire? Fire.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[Corey Walsh]

My grandson. I got a new grandson.

[Dick Toledo]

What's his name?

[Corey Walsh]

Skippy. Like the peanut butter.

[Dick Toledo]

No kidding.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogers]

Did he come out chunky or smooth?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[Corey Walsh]

No joke, huh? It's no joke. It's no joke. Smooth. Smooth as a baby's bottom. This was his bottom. No nuts.

[Dick Toledo]

No joke.

[Corey Walsh]

No nuts. No nuts.

[Dick Toledo]

No joke. You're serious? No way. Ten more days.

[Corey Walsh]

Ten more days of this wonderful.

[Dick Toledo]

I love you.

[Brady Bogers]

A little bit longer.

[Corey Walsh]

There is that my son.

[Dick Toledo]

Everybody couldn't get a medal of honor. Gives you Medal of Honor.

[Corey Walsh]

Medal of Honor.

[Dick Toledo]

I smell the back of your hair.

[Corey Walsh]

Medals. Medals of honor.

[Dick Toledo]

Everybody like Mr. T. Mr. T. Can.

[Corey Walsh]

I get one, folks? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Folks.

[Corey Walsh]

I pity the fool. I pity the fool. Now give him a hamburger and put him on the helicopter.

[Brady Bogers]

Oh, it's very nice to have you. Let's head on now to a new KD US staple. Jim Rome is with us.

[Dick Toledo]

Great introduction, I think, don't you?

[Corey Walsh]

Incredible.

[Dick Toledo]

Incredible indeed. That is amazing. You are my new boss, Corey Thriller Walsh. How great is that? Your new nickname is Lucky. Lucky. How great is that?

[Corey Walsh]

Dude should go to Las Vegas and bet on himself. For what? Anything.

[Dick Toledo]

Just schedule a flight to Vegas. You're good at that. Get up there and rock it, because that's what you're doing. Am I actually on your station?

[Brady Bogers]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Does it count if no one hears it?

[Brady Bogers]

You're on one to four, taking the.

[Corey Walsh]

Deuce to number one.

[Brady Bogers]

We're not going to say no to that. If you want to help out, we appreciate it.

[Corey Walsh]

Great job.

[Dick Toledo]

Great job. You did great job. Corey.

[Corey Walsh]

Corey.

[Dick Toledo]

Lucky Walsh.

[Corey Walsh]

C book. Steve booked me on the show. Getting better all the time. Ratings just came in.

[Dick Toledo]

Smell.

[Corey Walsh]

Just now on this facts.

[Dick Toledo]

Look at the ratings.

[Corey Walsh]

How great is this? I went back in time to when fax machines were important and got the most up to date. Overnight ratings.

[Dick Toledo]

Unbelievable show. I didn't even hear the beeping. You grabbed it anyway. Give me the numbers.

[Corey Walsh]

We got a 73. Wait a second. It's 0.0000073.

[Brady Bogers]

There it is.

[Corey Walsh]

Zeros are important.

[Dick Toledo]

Our ratings are binary code. That is how bad they are.

[Corey Walsh]

0, 1, 0, 1, 0, 1st, 1, 1, 0, 1.

[Dick Toledo]

I just said great take. That's number one. If you look at me, there's too many ones. Number one. Over and over and over again.

[Brady Bogers]

What's higher than one? Zero.

[Dick Toledo]

Great. Square.

[Brady Bogers]

All right, so now to the top right square. A combination of Presidents Obama and Trump together say, great.

[Dick Toledo]

You want to do this one or that one?

[Corey Walsh]

I'm not sure I'm doing well. You know when I did that one? Because I was just mirroring you.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, you can mirror it together then. Fine with that. Did you. Hey, Obama. I got an idea. Yes? Did you get your sheet?

[Corey Walsh]

I did. It was coordinated with Richard Page. And it's in my hand.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you see Jimmy Carter? His body's right in front of us at the funeral. Do you believe in life after death?

[Corey Walsh]

Every time I leave this theater.

[Dick Toledo]

Let me be clear.

[Corey Walsh]

Let me throw the catchphrase in there. Try it again.

[Dick Toledo]

Let me ask you a question, Obama. Do you believe in life after death?

[Corey Walsh]

Yes, Donald.

[Dick Toledo]

Let me be clear.

[Corey Walsh]

I do believe in life after death. Every time I leave this theater.

[Dick Toledo]

Did we just become best friends? I think it happened.

[Corey Walsh]

I think it did. I think it did.

[Dick Toledo]

I think maybe. Wait.

[Corey Walsh]

I was happy.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know what just happened. I'll swap it with it.

[Corey Walsh]

I'll go with it.

[Dick Toledo]

We can give it to him right here. It's playing. I'm not hearing it. There it is. This is for you and me. I think we should sing this. Ebony and ivory. Take it, Donald.

[Corey Walsh]

Live together in perfection harmony Side by side on my piano.

[Dick Toledo]

Why don't we.

[Brady Bogers]

We're best friends.

[Dick Toledo]

Do you want to go in the garage and smash pumpkins, you besties?

[Corey Walsh]

Listen, I would love to join you roadside and find a bath house.

[Dick Toledo]

I have no idea what you're talking about, but I love this.

[Corey Walsh]

Of course you don't. I've read the books. Let's eat some cat food.

[Dick Toledo]

Does this show constitute cruelty to animals?

[Corey Walsh]

Let me check.

[Dick Toledo]

Third or fourth one down. I'll ask again. Does this show constitute cruelty to animals?

[Corey Walsh]

Just do it again. I inflicted upon what you were doing.

[Dick Toledo]

I said, does this show constitute as cruelty to animals?

[Corey Walsh]

Not unless they're watching it.

[Dick Toledo]

That's exactly what I thought.

[Corey Walsh]

Crush that one. We crushed it. Why do we always come here and.

[Brady Bogers]

Eventually, I guess we'll never know.

[Corey Walsh]

It's like some kind of torture to.

[Dick Toledo]

Have to watch the show.

[Brady Bogers]

Okay, now we got the left middle square. Morgan Freeman taking time out of his schedule to join us.

[Dick Toledo]

That's Toledo.

[Corey Walsh]

I don't.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, Toledo forgot to come in here and do the music for a square he chose upset. There you go. We'll just do it ourselves. Rockapella. Ah, yes. You remember the days when we used to have a theme song because somebody was on the ball.

[Corey Walsh]

I remember when there was a producer who did his job.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't even know where he is. The other day he left for four hours to have a cat neutered. Please tell me that's. That's a fact. During the show he said, I have to go get a cat neutered. And we left. Never heard that one. And we did not hear from him.

[Corey Walsh]

And that was not a euphemism. No, that's actually what he had to do.

[Dick Toledo]

He meant it. And he got that cat neutered.

[Corey Walsh]

That cat was no longer. We think it was a diy.

[Dick Toledo]

He removed that pussy's balls and it could never procreate. That's exactly why he left. Couldn't schedule that after 10. Had to do it at 7. Why wouldn't you start off the music? It's a little more ominous.

[Brady Bogers]

Are you okay, Morgan? It sounds a little scary over there.

[Dick Toledo]

Does sound like we're about to kill someone.

[Corey Walsh]

What happened to that cat?

[Dick Toledo]

This is the theme song for that cat's balls. That cat had a different life ahead of it. That cat's balls crawled through 400 yards of the foulest filth one could ever imagine. Here's More jokes for Stadler and Waldorf, if you're interested, because those were doing so well. Thank goodness I've technically seen detergents leave a better film than this.

[Brady Bogers]

Oh, we're still happy to have you, whether you're ready or not. Let's hop on over now to the middle square. Cancer researcher Brady.

[Howard Stern]

That's right. I was playing an oncologist earlier this week and giving out advice to people with cancer. So I thought maybe I'd stop laughing.

[Corey Walsh]

About the thought of this.

[Howard Stern]

Yes, I am a cancer expert. Ask me a question about cancer. Here's what I know.

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, boy.

[Howard Stern]

Everyone has it. If you're weak, you get it bad. If you're strong like me, you don't have it out loud. You don't get lumpy. My lumps aren't cancer, is what I'm saying. Stop saying they are. And it has nothing to do. Like I say. You've always got cancer. And then your. Your body will fight it off your immune system. Sick or strong, it's not a headache. It's a tumor. But doesn't mean it's cancer. I'll be back with more on College Anders after this.

[Brady Bogers]

Oh, very nice to have you. Let's hop on over to the right middle square. We got a lot of football this weekend. Let's focus on the playoffs, shall we?

[Dick Toledo]

Chim Nance, along with Tony Romo.

[Corey Walsh]

President Bush is punching me in the stomach like he did Rock.

[Dick Toledo]

A Tony rumble. Sounding a little more like Chris Burman.

[Corey Walsh]

Say what you want, but nobody. Oh, Jim. Nobody circles the wagons like the buffalo.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, I use sometimes. Why, Tony.

[Corey Walsh]

Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.

[Dick Toledo]

Jimmy John.

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, Jim, look what they're putting on that sandwich.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, Jim. It's best just to let him finish, I guess so.

[Brady Bogers]

There's our little super bowl winner.

[Dick Toledo]

And now Toledo will neuter him.

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, Jim. That cat's gonna have a different life after this.

[Brady Bogers]

Hop on over now to our bottom left square, our Brady secret square. Give us a hint.

[Corey Walsh]

Hello. Hello. I'm 57 years old. I was once married to Paul McCartney. Shagged and rotten for years. There's three things that I don't like. Landmines, reefer. Oh, and Stella McCartney.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no kidding. Doesn't like the daughter.

[Corey Walsh]

I hate her.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, that's actually news I'm getting from the secret square. There we go. We got more news than that than the Brady Report earlier. Pick up your leg and sit in your chair.

[Brady Bogers]

Bottom middle square. Now a radio icon, Howard Stern, has joined us.

[Dick Toledo]

Look, in other words, here's what we have to do here. Here's what I'm telling you right now.

[Brady Bogers]

Okay?

[Dick Toledo]

Look, Heather Mills, I want you to spread your leg. That's all I'm interested in. All I care about right now is that Paul McCartney's ex wife sp. I want to see that honey hole. It's my birthday and I'm like. I don't even know why I'm here. Look, in other words, Frank, I mean, you know how it goes. Let me see your legs. All right, for those who don't like anybody, like, pantomime spreading his own legs.

[Brady Bogers]

All right, now, to end things off, bottom right square, our Lord and Savior, Trip Weaver.

[Dick Toledo]

Skip this square today. Goodbye.

[Brady Bogers]

Well, I was going to say thank you for the recent raise, but I guess not.

[Dick Toledo]

You're fine. He's good now. He's got other stuff to do. We're not dealing with him today.

[John Holmberg]

You ain't getting it now.

[Dick Toledo]

No, that's it. Who do you got on the phones for one question? Because we're already late. Miranda and Eric. Miranda, are you there?

[Miranda]

I'm here.

[Corey Walsh]

All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Eric, are you there? I'm here. All right. Miranda, you're a girl. Pick a square.

[Miranda]

Let's go center square. Dr. Brady.

[Brady Bogers]

Okay. Cancer.

[Howard Stern]

Brady, feel your boobs real quick. You think you got it? If you do, come see me. It's Mammogram Friday with Brady Bogers. I like to feel those things. Do you ever have cancer? I'll tell you right now, my lump finder is undefeated.

[Corey Walsh]

Like a divining rod.

[Howard Stern]

Oh, yeah. It's like 500. I put it out there and it just points towards the cancer. And then I dig it out with my little hands. Meatballs.

[Corey Walsh]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness. 28. Can you be repeating Holmberg's morning sickness?

[Howard Stern]

Are you okay, Miranda?

[Miranda]

I think I'm good.

[Howard Stern]

All right, good. She can fight it off. She's not one of them weaklings. You know what I'm saying? That's what they get. All right, go ahead.

[Brady Bogers]

Good for her. All right, here we go. An iflorophile is a person who loves accounting. True or false?

[Howard Stern]

That is not true. That's like Toledo. He likes cats. That's a cat fancier.

[Dick Toledo]

Cat.

[Howard Stern]

Fancy.

[Brady Bogers]

So you're saying false now? Miranda, do you agree or disagree with False?

[Miranda]

Correct. That's not true.

[Corey Walsh]

All right.

[Brady Bogers]

X gets a square.

[Howard Stern]

I know about cancer and I know about pussy. It's time for your buddy check 12. Come on down.

[Brady Bogers]

I'm happy you're checking, but have you actually found Any lumps yet?

[Howard Stern]

Not yet. You want me to fuel you up?

[Brady Bogers]

No, I'm good. Okay, I will over to Eric now. Make your selection.

[Dick Toledo]

The secret square.

[Brady Bogers]

Secret square.

[Dick Toledo]

Hello, Lloyd and Franklin.

[Corey Walsh]

That's right.

[Dick Toledo]

It's great. Do you know who it is? I'm thinking Heather Mills. Heather Mills is correct. I didn't do it.

[Brady Bogers]

Sorrow gets the square. Then let's hop back over to Miranda. What are you thinking?

[Miranda]

Let's go. Howard Stern.

[Brady Bogers]

Howard Stern. Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Why would we even have Frank on here? We can do this without him, I guess. And everybody's just kind of avoiding you. This is like. I feel like I'm married to you. I want to pick the next square. Yeah. Like, if you want to do it. I. I don't even care. Like, I'm here all the time. You do it yourself. Are you sure? Yeah. All right.

[Brady Bogers]

All right.

[Dick Toledo]

In other words, you said go F yourself. I come here for the plugs.

[Corey Walsh]

And.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Okay. Frank will be out there at that comedy club. He still do. Are you still in the business? Yeah. I think that's great.

[Brady Bogers]

Here we go. Domestic cats share just 84.3%.

[Dick Toledo]

Spoiler. I can ask you a question.

[Brady Bogers]

Yeah. What's up?

[Dick Toledo]

When you fell out of your mom's vagina on crooked, did you feel like crawling back in?

[Brady Bogers]

No. She said, you're done.

[Dick Toledo]

She thought you were done, but you knew you weren't. Right.

[Brady Bogers]

It was her decision.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, was your first step, like a wild disappointment for your parents? It's so rare.

[Brady Bogers]

First step. That took a while. That wasn't immediate. I'll tell you that.

[Dick Toledo]

It was the second step that did you in. All right, ask the question again.

[Brady Bogers]

Domestic cats share just 84.3% of their DNA with tigers.

[Dick Toledo]

I gotta tell you, there's a lot of cat information here. I feel like somebody's got an addiction to the cats around here, you know, like neutering them and making less. I'll have to say that's probably false, but I don't know.

[Brady Bogers]

False. Okay. And do you agree or disagree?

[Miranda]

Agree.

[Dick Toledo]

False.

[Miranda]

Again.

[Brady Bogers]

You are correct. Then X gets the square.

[Dick Toledo]

Here we go. One more.

[Brady Bogers]

Eric, you're going to go for Jim Rome for the block.

[Dick Toledo]

Absolutely.

[Brady Bogers]

All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Is all mine. It's a great version of us.

[Corey Walsh]

Incredible pick.

[Dick Toledo]

Great job. I'm gonna let you go your way. Here we go. Sit back and let's see what happens. Go ahead. Yes. I thought you were not gonna do it. Yes. Just sit back and watch you do it.

[Corey Walsh]

But instead, what are you doing stepping on my paws?

[Dick Toledo]

Not stepping on Your paws.

[Corey Walsh]

Speaking of pauses.

[Dick Toledo]

Great. How great is that?

[Corey Walsh]

Stepping on those cat paws?

[Brady Bogers]

All right. The longest reign of any pope was 9,562 days. Or just over 26 years. True or false.

[Dick Toledo]

Popin ain't easy. That is a fact. That is a long time to Pope. That's getting it done as a Pope.

[Corey Walsh]

How great is that? Driving around in your bubble top car no one can get. You get one of those.

[Dick Toledo]

Custom, bulletproof. You're a bulletproof man. With God protecting you and the car at the same time, there's nothing bad that can happen to you. No Kennedy problems here. The pontiff with the big hat, do you know where he lives? In the Vatican. Right?

[Corey Walsh]

Right next to Rome.

[Dick Toledo]

What was the question? Everyone forgot it. True.

[Brady Bogers]

The longest reign of an Pope was just over 26 years.

[Dick Toledo]

They agree with me.

[Brady Bogers]

Okay, you say true now. Eric, agree or disagree?

[Dick Toledo]

I disagree.

[Brady Bogers]

That's correct. Actually. You got the block.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, next one wins.

[Brady Bogers]

Next one wins. Miranda, your turn.

[Miranda]

Going Biden.

[Brady Bogers]

Biden. Okay, fair enough.

[Corey Walsh]

It's my turn.

[Brady Bogers]

I've waited long enough.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, I've waited four years for this.

[Dick Toledo]

I have almost all of my stuff packed up in the White House.

[Corey Walsh]

Go ahead.

[Dick Toledo]

Why are you ignoring me?

[Brady Bogers]

Biden and only Biden here.

[Dick Toledo]

But why?

[Brady Bogers]

In the 1600s, tulips were worth more than their weight in gold.

[Corey Walsh]

Tulips. What was the question?

[Brady Bogers]

No, no. I'm not asking if you have two lips. I'm saying in the 1600s.

[Corey Walsh]

1600S.

[Brady Bogers]

The flower tool.

[Corey Walsh]

Hold on. I was about 25.

[Brady Bogers]

Yes. You got this. Okay.

[Corey Walsh]

5. 25 years old. 16. So back 25 from 1607 to 16. 19.

[Brady Bogers]

Yes. Now, what he's doing right now, think back to that.

[Dick Toledo]

It's an opportunity economy.

[Brady Bogers]

Think back to that.

[Dick Toledo]

All those numbers, those tulips, were they.

[Brady Bogers]

Worth more than the weights?

[Corey Walsh]

Tulips. Not tulips.

[Dick Toledo]

Excuse me.

[Brady Bogers]

Jar.

[Dick Toledo]

Hang on just a second. Get out of here. Nobody wanted you in the first place. Walk. Yeah. All right. I'm getting. We're best friends now, lady. Time to take a step. The house is mine.

[Corey Walsh]

Hey. Stomach jab. Stomach jab. Stomach jab. Ignore.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, George Block just gave me the.

[Corey Walsh]

Curly with this voice. Roses. Roses on my piano. Tulips on my organ. That is the Kamala catchphrase.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[Brady Bogers]

So.

[Corey Walsh]

What'S the question? What's the question? Why am I still in my square?

[Dick Toledo]

What's going on?

[Corey Walsh]

Well, it was your square. It's about to be my square, so I'm taking over.

[Brady Bogers]

I'm just getting a head start, man.

[Corey Walsh]

It's more stomach jab, stomach jab. Knock him out, knock him out. I'm just doing punch out. Stomach jab, stomach jab. Knock him out.

[Brady Bogers]

Headshot.

[Corey Walsh]

Glass Joe.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, that's true.

[Corey Walsh]

That's actually much better than I thought. 0073-7-35963. That's the code to get to Tyson. And I always beat him. Watch for the twinkle in the eye, right?

[Brady Bogers]

Oh, my God.

[Corey Walsh]

There's Bald Barack over there.

[Dick Toledo]

Bald Barack. That's me.

[Corey Walsh]

They all have towels. They all have towels. And I'm gonna tell you what the drones are doing. I'm gonna tell you what the drones are doing. And it's not good. And I don't even know what it is yet. What's the question?

[Brady Bogers]

Yes. Okay.

[Corey Walsh]

True.

[Brady Bogers]

In the 1600s.

[Corey Walsh]

True. Glass show. I did glass. I had Glass Joe. It's an actual character's game. Sort of Popinsky, the German.

[Brady Bogers]

He was Russian, actually. And in the car, in the arcade, Drunken Ski.

[Dick Toledo]

You reminded me of. Come on. I don't care what you said.

[Corey Walsh]

What was a kid was the Karate Kid guy.

[Brady Bogers]

Yeah.

[Corey Walsh]

Bruce Lee.

[Dick Toledo]

Ralph Macho.

[Corey Walsh]

I'm the Ralph Macho.

[Dick Toledo]

It's true.

[Corey Walsh]

Listen, I felt bad. I felt bad for Zabka. We're bad for William Zabka. Danny, was it Denny? William. Who'd he play?

[Dick Toledo]

Who said True?

[Brady Bogers]

True.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's do your job.

[Brady Bogers]

All right.

[Dick Toledo]

True.

[Brady Bogers]

Eric, do you agree or disagree with True?

[Miranda]

I think it's my turn.

[Brady Bogers]

Oh, my bad.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on now.

[Miranda]

I think Vine's actually right on this one, too.

[Dick Toledo]

Correct.

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dick Toledo]

She's the winner. Nicely done.

[Corey Walsh]

It only took him almost four terms to be finally correct or something. I got one.

[Dick Toledo]

I got one. Yeah, It's a winner. I look like the guy on the Deliverance porch.

[Corey Walsh]

Hold on, my phone's ringing.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, it's me playing banjo. I'm just gonna put the desk here, if you don't mind. Whether you're not paying any attention. Desk is resolute.

[Corey Walsh]

It's my resolute. And here's my man at arms, Elon Musk. They're not even his own real arms there. He made them out of Tesla per leftover parts.

[Dick Toledo]

Exactly right. And then I point my finger at Rudy Giuliani, and he becomes the mighty Baron. I call him Baron Cat to stay on theme with his entire cat.

[Corey Walsh]

Might be my favorite thing ever. Baron cats.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what Toledo does. He makes them barren.

[Corey Walsh]

It's very good. All right. That's the power of the Sorceress. Castle Grayskull. Castle Grayskull.

[Dick Toledo]

Frank is at the number one castle.

[Corey Walsh]

To make sure your powers are complete. Castle Grayskull.

[Dick Toledo]

It is Frank Kelly on the January 31st. February 1st.

[Corey Walsh]

I'm going to make Eternia great again.

[Dick Toledo]

Trump wins Eternia.

[Corey Walsh]

King Randor. Okay, we're not doing kings. We're not doing kings.

[Dick Toledo]

I can still be on the board, right, Donald?

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, Skeletor. That's a bad guy. He's not a good guy. He's kind of George Soros. They funded all Beastmen. Beastman. Come on, come on.

[Dick Toledo]

What have we learned today?

[Corey Walsh]

We learned I needed Orco. That was Orko.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't remember.

[Corey Walsh]

I don't know. But we learned a lesson at the end. And what was that lesson? Let John do the plug. Don't interrupt it with.

[Dick Toledo]

That's right.

[Corey Walsh]

We're going to make Ethiopia greater. Eternia. Eternia, I think that's where. That's where the mayor was visiting. That's how great. We're going to make America. Ethiopia is going to get better. Ethiopia's going to buy it.

[Dick Toledo]

I'll buy it.

[Corey Walsh]

We're going to buy it. It's very good. Just bought it. Just bought it. You know what it cost? Nothing. Two for one.

[Dick Toledo]

Deal. Frank. January 31st and the 1st at Desert Ridge Improv. You can get your tickets right there. Desert ridgeimprof.com nothing else going on?

[Corey Walsh]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

Except for what Brett's up to. Yeah, he's doing a little nighttime dentistry at the rodeo. Dental, orthodontics.

[Corey Walsh]

What are you doing?

[Dick Toledo]

That's what we said. 4 to 6 o'clock. They have a movie theater, big grand opening and they do dentistry.

[Corey Walsh]

Oh, that's cool.

[Dick Toledo]

That is cool.

[Corey Walsh]

I just had a tooth foot in yesterday.

[Dick Toledo]

It's a good put in arcade too.

[Corey Walsh]

Is it a fang?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, they got arcades so the dentist can work around you while you're playing video games and watching movies in the theater. That's what I'm understanding. That's what I'm on. I'll know tonight. And they do it at sundown.

[Corey Walsh]

Yeah, Every time. It's all sundown.

[Dick Toledo]

Four to six today. Thunderbird and 35th Avenue. Go say hi to Brett. He might win you 500 bucks there. You get people qualified for that. We're done. Frank. Thank you. As usual. Thanks to Big J Okerson and all the silliness Thriller. Oh, and that's enough. The cold is bad.

[Corey Walsh]

I wish we could use that to put out the fires.

[Dick Toledo]

My nose.

[Corey Walsh]

Your nose. It might be the right size. Your post nasal drip. Would be great for the people of Los Angeles. And, you know, Gavin Newscomb. Devin Newscombe could have used your snot. Saving. Saving. Saving. I just read the text. Saving. One person at a time.

[Dick Toledo]

It's my nose.

[Corey Walsh]

It's with your snows.

[Dick Toledo]

Just end it.

[Corey Walsh]

I'm trying.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know what you're doing. All right, that's enough. We're done. Goodbye, everybody. Have a great weekend. We'll see if rack him out.

[Corey Walsh]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.