Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - 01-12-26 (Full Show, Monday)

Podcast: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Date: January 12, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, “Big Dick” Toledo, Byron

Episode Overview

On this Monday episode, the HMS crew dives head-first into NFL playoff reactions—especially the Bears’ victory, playoff scenarios, and fandom-rooted schadenfreude. The show journeys through CES’s latest tech, bizarre grave-robbing news, a debate on the ick factor of elderly intimacy, commentary on the fading relevance of award shows, and the eternal hunt for the Loch Ness Monster. All this is seasoned with wild hypotheticals, honest (often crude) banter, and a parade of would-you-rathers.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. NFL Playoffs, Fan Schadenfreude, and Emotional Rooting

• Main Segment: [01:46] — [09:46]
  • John admits to a “dark delight” in sports: pulling for teams not just for victory, but for the emotional collapse of rivals.
    • “I wasn't rooting for any game or football or anything else. I was rooting for domestic violence in three houses in Phoenix that would result in the arrest of people I don't care for.” – John ([03:59])
  • Discussion about the joy found in rivals’ pain and the psychology behind such “passive-aggressive fandom.”
  • Bears win leads to elation for Bret; John can relate with similar feelings as a Steelers fan.
  • Debates which teams (and their fans) elicit the most “rooting against humanity” ethos.

2. NFL Playoff Scenarios and Local Sports Joys

• Segment: [09:47] – [11:04]
  • Steelers’ playoff path is dissected, including potential for hosting the AFC Championship.
  • Indiana Hoosiers football and age-old jokes about the age and collegiate eligibility in college sports.

3. Tech Talk: CES Innovations

• Segment: [11:10] – [17:55]
  • Discussion about eye-popping new tech from 2026 CES, most notably “wallpaper TV”—a 9.9-millimeter thick, wall-mounted television.
  • Nostalgic stories about hauling heavy old TVs, changing home furnishings, and the shrinking necessity of libraries and entertainment centers.
  • Smart Legos and “AI pets” are highlighted—eliciting jokes about technology replacing both children’s imagination and… women.
  • “If we can get the sex dolls… I don't even why we'd include menstruation, but they changing their own pads for the realism, I suppose.” – John ([18:47])

4. Bizarre News: Grave-Robbing & Body Part Theft

• Segment: [24:30] – [33:34]
  • Story of a man in Pennsylvania who allegedly stole 100 skulls and assorted human remains in just two months.
  • Morbidly funny hypotheticals about who might be grave-robbing in Arizona, speculation that no famous grave is safe from theft.
  • “I would venture to guess as many rednecks that live in the vicinity of Waylon Jennings dead corpse… There is no way he's still in there.” – John ([27:21])

5. Museum Gripes & Childhood Field Trips

• Segment: [35:49] – [38:16]
  • Scathing review of the Heard Museum’s “corn-centric” exhibits from John and others; school field trip memories spark related rants.
  • “It's the worst museum in the history of museums, where you get to roll that corn on that rock.” – John ([35:49])
  • Amusement at the blandness and repetition of local historical reenactments.

6. Would-You-Rathers & The Elderly Intimacy Debate

• Recurring Segment throughout (esp. [111:35] – [119:44])
  • Wild, explicit, and hilarious debates: given the choice between being with an elderly woman (“granny”), a fit young man, or even various bodily function-based scenarios, what would you choose?
  • Majority of the crew (except John) say “granny”; John claims he’d rather “go gay” than face the horrors of geriatric sex.
  • “Full gay over granny. Grannies are gross. Not even—it's not even a close fight.” – John ([118:44])
  • These segments go deep (and get increasingly graphic) as listeners write in suggestions, and each scenario becomes more absurd.

7. Award Shows & Cultural Shift

• Segment: [57:49] – [68:18]
  • Lament about the lost glory and relevance of awards shows (Oscars, Golden Globes), and the way social media “ruined celebrities.”
  • Discussion on why celebrities are now unlikable, and how the universal accessibility via Instagram/Twitter killed the “mystique.”
  • “Award show should be like, nobody watches us anymore. And it's kind of because we know you.” – John ([67:31])
  • Nikki Glaser gets called out for “attacking” celebrities at the latest Golden Globes.

8. Loch Ness Monster: 52 Years of Futility

• Segment: [69:00] – [81:47]
  • John recounts the tale of Adrian Shine, who spent 52 years seeking Nessie—the Loch Ness Monster—only to recently admit defeat.
  • Highlights the difference between myth (monsters, Bigfoot) and treasure hunting (Lost Dutchman’s gold): “It’s not a monster. It’s just dead human beings.”
  • “That maybe the most wasted carbon-based life form in the history of life.” – John ([87:57])
  • Hilarious, yet oddly poignant, summation of a life spent chasing folklore.

9. Brady Report: News, Trends, and Deranged Hypotheticals

• Segment: [90:45] – [110:07]
  • Bizarre and light news of the day: Kiss-A-Ginger Day, David Hasselhoff’s catchphrase rights, AI music indistinguishability.
  • Social trends: “Bring back 2016” nostalgia among Gen Z, “Grandma Showers” as gift events (which spirals into filth).
  • Weird crime stories: woman throws collard greens, another puts a leech in his urethra for “health”; Florida Woman jokes abound.
  • Recurring humorous game: “Guess the race” of the criminal based on the details.
  • “Grandma Showers” ultimately becomes a running (and repulsive) motif, resulting in a parade of explicit hypotheticals.

10. Listener Letters: Relationships, Guilt, & Perverse Confessions

• Segment: [136:12] – [148:14]
  • Advice on relationships stifled by anti-porn partners, spouses jealous of attractive newscasters, and a man confessing to a hit-and-run on his neighbor’s car out of fear.
  • “Anytime a girl says stop doing something I don't like that you like because of me—unless it's harmful—she has no right.” – John ([140:27])

11. Celebrity News & Obituaries

• Entertainment Drill ([157:28] – [166:11])
  • Discussion of AI impacting music creation.
  • Arrests: Daniel Stern (Wet Bandit from Home Alone) for solicitation; Timothy Busfield accused (and his odd defense).
  • Death of Bob Weir (erroneous—likely meant to be Bob Weir’s real-life bandmate, but reported for comic effect). Host relishes the “end” of Grateful Dead touring.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sports Schadenfreude: “I wasn't rooting for any game or football or anything else. I was rooting for domestic violence in three houses in Phoenix that would result in the arrest of people I don't care for.” — John ([03:59])
• On ‘Bears-Packers’: “Everything’s gravy. You didn’t expect any of this. Now you’re the two-seed... why not?” — John ([09:22])
• On CES Tech: “Wallpaper TV is the future. All this crap on our walls... That’s going to be cumbersome, the way those old console TVs were at your grandma’s house.” — John ([13:46])
• On Grave-Robbing in Arizona: “There is no way Waylon Jennings is still there.” — John ([27:21])
• On Museums: “It’s the worst museum in the history of museums, where you get to roll that corn on that rock.” — John ([35:49])
• Old Women vs. Gay Sex Debate: “Full gay over granny. Grannies are gross. Not even—it's not even a close fight. I'd be crying, you enjoy crying driving home.” — John ([118:44])
• On Award Shows: “Award show should be like, nobody watches us anymore. And it's kind of because we know you.” — John ([67:31])
• On Wasted Life: “That maybe the most wasted carbon-based life form in the history of life.” (re: Loch Ness hunter Adrian Shine) — John ([87:57])

Notable Timestamps / Segments

• [01:46] – [11:04]: NFL Playoffs, rooting against rivals, playoff permutations.
• [11:10] – [17:55]: CES tech, nostalgia for old TVs, “Smart Legos.”
• [24:30] – [33:34]: Body part thief story, morbid speculation.
• [35:49] – [38:16]: Rant on the Heard Museum & field trip boredom.
• [57:49] – [68:18]: Awards show irrelevance, celebrity takedowns.
• [69:00] – [81:47]: The doomed Loch Ness quest, difference between legend and treasure hunting.
• [90:45] – [110:07]: Brady’s report—bizarre, offbeat news, and trends.
• [111:35] – [119:44]: Granny vs. gay debate, disgusting would-you-rathers.
• [136:12] – [148:14]: Listener letters—relationship woes and confessions.
• [157:28] – [166:11]: Entertainment Drill—celebrity news, AI in music.

Tone & Language

Fast, irreverent, and unfiltered—loaded with sarcasm, crude imagery, and the hosts’ signature willingness to mock everything and everyone (including themselves). The interactions are punctuated by sardonic commentary, wild hypotheticals, and a parade of inside jokes.

Summary Takeaway

This edition of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness delivers a chaotic, hilarious tour through playoff football psychology, the perils of tech innovation and nostalgia, the weirdness of human obsession (from grave-robbing to Nessie-hunting), the end of award show relevance, and a never-ending barrage of “would-you-rather” hypotheticals. Fans get deep sports talk, tech geekery, relationship advice, and gross-out comedy—all in one jam-packed broadcast. If you haven’t listened: expect a wild, unfiltered ride.