01-12-26 - Grandma Showers Reactions/Emails And Debate Following Gross Bret Video From Brady Report

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – "Grandma Showers Reactions/Emails and Debate Following Gross Bret Video"

Date: January 12, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Bailey
Podcast: 98KUPD – Arizona

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness centers around a raunchy and comedic debate sparked by a "gross grandma video" from the Brady Report. The hosts read emails and discuss their visceral reactions to the idea of elderly romance, challenging each other's boundaries with characteristic irreverence and candid disgust. The main theme revolves around societal (and personal) taboos related to dating, attraction, and aging, all filtered through the show’s signature blend of humor and shock value.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Boundary-Testing Humor: "Granny Showers" and Reactions

• The episode opens with raucous responses to a video showing elderly women in the nude, prompting heated debate among the crew about their own limits and society’s attitudes toward aging and attraction.
• John Holmberg is the most vocal, repeatedly drawing the line at any romantic or sexual attraction to "grannies," which he paints in vivid (and intentionally unflattering) terms.
  • "Grannies are absolutely off limits for me… At a certain age, their clothes should just fuse onto their bodies and never come off again. Blech." (01:35, John Holmberg)

2. Nobody Leaves for a Granny: Age, Relationships, and Social Norms

• The panel riffs on the idea that no man ever leaves his wife for an elderly woman, riffing that the only exceptions involve money or fame.

  • "No dude's ever left his wife for an elderly woman… It's not a thing. The money thing is the only time." (01:35, John Holmberg)
  • "Bret Vesely: It's not happened unless she's got money." (02:45)

• The comparison is drawn between coming out as gay and announcing you’re leaving your spouse for a granny — to much laughter:

  • "If Brady said, 'I'm leaving because I'm gay,' we'd laugh. We're like, that makes sense…I get it. If you said, 'I'm leaving for this elderly woman…' Oh my God, I'm just kidding, I'm gay.' Like, oh, thank God." (03:23, John Holmberg)

3. Debating Exceptions: "Hot" Older Women

• The group differentiates between typical grandmothers and celebrities who age well, like Jane Seymour.
  • "Jane Seymour is an attractive woman who kept it together…I'm talking about run-of-the-mill mesa grandmother. No." (05:21, John Holmberg)
• The conversation veers into cougars and May-December relationships, with John insisting they’re not talking about women who are simply a decade older or celebrities with personal trainers and millions.

4. Listener Email Responses & "Core Memories"

• The hosts read and react to emails accusing John of harboring trauma toward naked elderliness due to childhood memories.
  • "This guy says you've got deep hate for naked grannies because you saw yours naked. I remember. Yeah, I did…It is a core memory." (05:09, Email & John Holmberg)

5. Would You Ever Date an Older Woman?

• The crew asks each other hypothetically if they would date someone old enough to be called "granny," with near-universal (and emphatic) rejection.

  • "If you were single, date sight unseen guys? Like, she's 78. Like, come on. You wouldn't even give her a chance? No." (06:04, John Holmberg)
  • "Even when you're 78, you're not looking age appropriate. You're…hoping you have some money because then you can at least pull 50 something." (06:24, John Holmberg)

• Bailey jokes about one friend who did marry an older lady, but clarifies it was a minimal age gap when they were young.

6. Younger Men with Older Women: Pop Culture & Exceptions

• Bret brings up an article on younger men dating older women, citing pop culture examples like Kris Jenner and Gabrielle Union — but the crew distinguishes "older" from "elderly."
  • "Kris Jenner is 25 years older than Cory Gamble…that dude is there for the money…Gabrielle Union is nine years older. They're not elderly." (09:00-10:04, John Holmberg/Bret Vesely)
• The group dismisses inspirational platitudes about aging well, mocking them openly:
  • "'Getting older is beautiful'…What's breathtaking is when those giant water bags hanging off your chest get on my face and I can't breathe anymore." (09:02-09:52, John Holmberg)

7. Memorable One-Liners and Visceral Imagery

• John delivers several hallmark gross-out metaphors:
  • "When they lay down, they look like people who just jumped out of a five-story building…splattered all over. Like, that's how your body looks lying down." (04:25-04:55, John Holmberg)
  • "Looks like a melted candle." (04:53, Bailey)
  • "I'd let [Ray Lewis] take a shot…I'd go out and murder with him before I do that [be with grandmas]." (11:37-12:07, John Holmberg)

8. Shifting to Football & Other Digressions

• After the main topic, John takes a short tangent into football news and the joy of potential coach firings, but quickly circles back to defending his repulsion.
  • "I'd bang the tire out of [Packers coach Matt LaFleur] before those grandmas." (11:39, John Holmberg)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• John Holmberg:
  • "Grannies are absolutely off limits for me…At a certain age, their clothes should just fuse onto their bodies and never come off again. Blech." (01:35)
  • "No dude's ever left his wife for an elderly woman…It's not a thing. The money thing is the only time." (01:35)
  • "I'm talking about the grannies that when they lay down, they look like people who just jumped out of a five story building… splattered all over." (04:25)
  • "I'd go out and murder with Ray Lewis before I do that." (11:44)
• Bret Vesely:
  • "It's not happened unless she's got money." (02:45)
  • (About older women websites): "Let's just say the girlfriend website is sponsored by AARP." (08:56)
• Bailey:
  • "Looks like a melted candle." (04:53)
• Emailer:
  • "You've got deep hate for naked grannies because you saw yours naked." (05:09)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:35 – John establishes the "no grannies" boundary, riffing on societal norms.
• 03:23 – The "I'd rather be gay" than date a granny bit.
• 04:25/04:53 – Graphic and comedic imagery about elderly bodies ("jumped out of a five story building," "melted candle").
• 05:21 – Jane Seymour exception discussion.
• 06:04-06:24 – Reactions to hypothetical blind dates with seniors.
• 08:54-10:04 – Pop culture examples and debate over "older" vs. "elderly."
• 11:39-12:07 – John’s murderous alternatives to being with a granny.

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, raucous, and unapologetically irreverent. The hosts take a “taboo-busting” approach, layering their humor with over-the-top metaphors, crude jokes, and mock-serious debates. They openly court both laughter and disgust, thriving on the audience’s shared discomfort, while occasionally dipping into football fandom and Arizona local color.

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Conclusion

For listeners, this episode is a classic example of Holmberg's Morning Sickness: edgy, boundary-pushing humor on taboo topics, blending shock and comedy with genuinely funny and, at times, insightful takes on culture and relationships. While not for the easily offended, fans will appreciate the fearless banter and absurdist metaphors, as the crew skewers anything that could make you squirm.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Byron]

That simple?

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP guns. Or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new [e-mail]. here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted, because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping, and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized. Countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Little old me. Choose lifted trucks and liftedtrucks.com. work hard, play hard, drive harder. The battle rages on my. On my computer, my emails. Rather this, rather that. Let's just end it right now. Pretty much whatever you put up against Granny's. I'm gonna say the other thing. Grannies are absolutely off limits for me. Like those.

[Bailey]

Respect the granny.

[John Holmberg]

Not as respect. They're disgusting. They shouldn't even be on the planet. They should be grandmothers. And that is all. At a certain age, their clothes should just fuse onto their bodies and never come off again. Blech. And I'm right about this because no dude's ever left his wife for an elderly woman. It's never happened. And again, the money thing is the only time. But nobody's ever gone. I'm leaving my wife. Oh, my God. That's Terry. That's terrible. Yeah, I met a really old lady, and I fell in love. Doesn't. It's not a thing. How old is she? Like 78? No, no, no, no. That's not a thing. You're just. You're Just so young. I know, I know, but I. I can't be with this young, in shape woman anymore. I need an elderly grandmother who's had two mesh surgeries. It's not a thing. Brady. Some dudes have left. Yeah, that's brutal. Some dudes have actually, and this is not an argument for it, but some dudes have actually left their wives to go gay. But no man's ever left his wife, no matter how bad it is, because he met a hot elderly woman.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not happened unless she's got money.

[John Holmberg]

No. She said, well, that's the only way. And then you're not marrying her for that. And even then, like, I like money. I'm not so sure. I think I could do gay old twink before I could do grannies. Those types, the big, you know, the ones you all picture, like, Brett, how funny would it be? Pretty good. I'm gonna leave Ronnie. Like, oh my God, you're right.

[Bailey]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's just over. I met an elderly woman. You couldn't keep it. Oh, that's. You wouldn't be happy for him. You'd be like, what are you doing?

[Bailey]

Her name's Granny Rackley.

[Byron]

And then you.

[John Holmberg]

And then you met her, and she's like 195 pounds and just slopping all over those big old tricep arms, wailing about that strange, strange floral pattern shirt that only grandmothers have that almost looks like it's doubling as some sort of a apron at a bad barber shop, but it's also a shirt. I'm leaving for that. Like, what in the world? But if Brady said, I'm leaving because I'm gay, we'd laugh. We're like, that makes sense. It makes sense. I get it, I get it, I get it. Like between the two, if you said, I'm leaving for this elderly woman, like, oh my God, I'm just kidding. I'm gay. Like, oh, thank God.

[Brett Vesely]

Grandma or grandpa.

[John Holmberg]

Well, neither. No. Now we're getting into weird. Just banging old people.

[Bailey]

That's a good. You know, it's Granny or the. The equal of a man.

[John Holmberg]

Did Lemon party? Yeah, Lemon party looks pretty fun. I think we'd have it all the same kind of ideas. I think our minds are the same. I think Granny's all over the map. I'm talking about the grannies that when they lay down, they look like people who just jumped out of a five story building. Like the after they're laying on the road all splayed out, you're like, oh my God, she splattered all over. I'm alive. Like, that's how your body looks laying down.

[Bailey]

Looks like a melted candle.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, my God, somebody deboned three people and glued them together. There's just skin in there. Yuck. Brett, you ruined my day.

[Brett Vesely]

Blame Bailey. He's the one who sent it over.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says you've got deep hate for naked grannies because you saw yours naked. I remember. Yeah, I did. And that was. That might be true. Isabelle.

[Bailey]

It's a core memory.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it is a core memory.

[Brett Vesely]

Brad wants to know what about a Jane Seymour type granny?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, no, that's not what we're talking about. You know, like these crannies that you showed me. Jane Seymour is an attractive woman who kept it together. It's not just for having grandchildren. Although, still foolish to chase that down. But yeah, Jane Seymour looks fantastic. That's different. You can't tell. She kept it together. I'm talking about run of the mill mesa grandmother. No. Yeah. And again. Find me one dude that said, I'm leaving my wife for an elderly woman. 1. But I could find you hundreds of them that left their wives for dude because it's a more viable and reasonable way to go.

[Brett Vesely]

What the hell is this world coming to? Junior.

[John Holmberg]

Would you ever even, like, if you were single, date sight unseen guys? Like, she's 78. Like, come on. You wouldn't even give her a chance? No.

[Bailey]

You wouldn't? No. Oh, no. I'm like, even when you're 78, it's off limits. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Even when you're 78, you're not looking age appropriate. You're like, how do I get out of this? You're hoping you have some money because then you can at least pull 50 something.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, I'm in my 50s. I went younger or so. I mean, so did you.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody. You never go older like that. Maybe two, three years max. And that has to be a unicorn. Then it kind of ages along with you, but man, oh, man, you do not go, yeah, I'm leaving. She's 20 years older than me. You're gonna be like, you're 53. Yeah, I know. You gotta see this thing, the ass I'm pulling. You'd be so grossed out with your friend talking about it. Oh, we. All we do is quit talking about.

[Bailey]

We've got one friend who.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we've got a friend who married an older lady. Yeah, that was back when they were young. They got. They started young. He was young, she was a little older. But if it's in your 30s and like you're in your late 20s and she's like 38. That's different. No man has ever married an elderly woman after coming in from, you know, 15, 20 60s. Yeah, you're not, you're not rolling elderly. And then. Because then you talk about man, new relationship, it's the honeymoon period and all we do is. I mean, she is just insatiable. Sometimes those things get swinging around, just cool the air. It's like seven ceiling fans attached to her. Brett, you ruined it. Well, okay, Michael Reed, good point. Because I can think of a guy who left everything for an older woman is a Britney Zamora's boyfriend. That's true. That dude's like, okay, that's different. But again, when they're younger, it makes sense. Elderly. I said elderly. You talk your friends out of it. You'd never like Brady's gonna go date Nelto. And I guess don't do this again.

[Bailey]

If you're to the point where like you're 75.

[John Holmberg]

That's not what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about. If you're talking about you just don't leave for that. And if you told me I'm leaving for an 80 year old woman like you're. No, I'm gonna put a stop.

[Bailey]

What's the deal?

[John Holmberg]

You're a pervert is what you are. And I'd put a stop to it. You said I'm gonna leave because I think I'm gay. But you're living your true life. Good for you. Good for you. I'd be happy for you. The other thing, I'm putting a stop to it. I'll pick it. I'll march outside your house like ice is there.

[Brett Vesely]

Hang on. It's still coming. It's gonna be a few pages. This is. This is an article. Seven younger men reveal the real reasons why they prefer older women because they're so like older.

[John Holmberg]

What though? Like, it's different. I'm talking.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's just say the girlfriend website is sponsored by aarp.

[John Holmberg]

We'll just go there. That's just.

[Brett Vesely]

That just starts it.

[John Holmberg]

But it says getting older is beautiful. Sure, we spend a lot of time talking about wrinkles, gray hairs and extra unwanted pounds. Well, I'm out already. There's so much more to aging than physical decline. Yes, our bodies change, but so do personalities and minds and souls. Yeah, none of this is selling me. It says, from financial crisis to loneliness to health scares, we learn valuable lessons that make us more authentic and self loving when we age well, we become who we were meant to be all along. And that, my friends, is breathtaking. What's breathtaking is when those giant water bags hanging off your chest get on my face and I can't breathe anymore. This guy, he went 10. She's 10 years older than her husband. Kris Jenner is 25 years older than Corey Gamble. Corey Gamble is there for the money. That dude.

[Brett Vesely]

And we said that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, banging Christian. And she held up. She pretty good. But she's also a billionaire. I mean, yeah, that's different. Yeah. Gabrielle Union is nine years older. They're not elderly.

[Brett Vesely]

They are humble.

[John Holmberg]

They're not. That's one of the reasons they are humble. With older women, I can talk about anything. They're less judgmental and more understanding. They talk less and listen more.

[Brett Vesely]

I find them selling point.

[John Holmberg]

Less arrogant than women.

[Bailey]

Maya, I've got to be quiet because I'm gonna get grounded.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got a mommy. It's different when young girls like old men. We're established. We age, right? Again. Say it, Brett. Well, you know, I mean, fine wine.

[Brett Vesely]

Men. Men are like fine wine. Women age like milk.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Not our fault, but good Christ, that. That video chat. I gotta sit and focus on the Steelers game. And I got this in the back of my mind. What's wrong with you?

[Brett Vesely]

I'll text it to you during the game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know.

[Brett Vesely]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

The granny Hasadiga evil wife. You do have the glory that I have because it's. There's rumors now starting that the packers are gonna fire Matt Le Fl. That means that in one short year, Ben Johnson came in, beat the Bears or beat the packers twice and potentially hurricane to their entire situation where they have to start off. It feels so good. I'm still dealing with the Ravens from last week because we did the exact same thing. And if you just move on from here, that's fine. If we beat the Texans, that's great. But the gravy of the season was the Ravens had to start over. Oh, Matt Lafle.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, his perfect hair and everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. We don't like him.

[Brett Vesely]

Pretty boy.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I bang the tire out of him before those grandmas.

[Brett Vesely]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

It's not even an option. Light pole, chair, tree, muffler. All of them ahead of grandma's. Yeah. Ray Lewis in a heartbeat. In the white suit. I'd let him take a shot. I go out and murder with him before I do that. You want to go out and murder some people? I have sex with these old grandmas. I'm like, get a gun. Let's go. Let's go murder people.

[Bailey]

Let's go clubbing.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going clubbing with Ray Lewis, Plexico, Burris, all the. You know, they brought Aaron Hernandez back to life. We're all going out just to avoid grannies. There's no granny strip clubs that nobody's into it. And if you are, you're sick. Anyway. Sorry. I digress. I'm not wrong. Don't start. I don't want to know. We got what Would Brady do? Coming up in just moments. We know one thing he did. Pervert. You got any quick ones? You can hit me up [e-mail]. We'll get to those letters next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He's out of control now. 98. Can you PD.