01-12-26 - WWBD - His Partner Doesn't Like Him Watching Porn On His Own - He Likes Watching The Local News Girls And His GF Doesn't Is He Being A Creeper

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness
Date: January 12, 2026
Main Theme:
The episode centers around the "What Would Brady Do?" segment (WWBD), where listeners submit moral or personal dilemmas for advice from Brady Bogen and the rest of the cast (John Holmberg, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo). This episode focuses heavily on questions about relationships and personal habits—specifically, dilemmas involving pornography, attraction to local news anchors, and dealing with problem neighbors.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Porn and Relationship Boundaries (04:00–07:00)

• Listener Dilemma: Alex writes in about his girlfriend being uncomfortable with him watching porn—she allows masturbation but is anti-pornography, refuses to send intimate photos, and believes he should have "more self-control."
• Cast Reaction:
  • John: Strongly critical of the girlfriend’s attitude, labeling her as “awful” and suggesting the relationship is “headed for a world of destruction.”

    “She’s laying down rules and stuff about how you please yourself... Get out. I think you’re better with—you need to find another partner.” (04:43)

  • Brady: Warns of potential relationship resentment, noting the red flag of controlling behavior.

    “You’re not on the same page on that physical side… it’s going to get tougher the more you push it.” (04:35)

  • Consensus: Blanket rules on personal habits outside of harm or cheating are controlling and unhealthy.

Notable Quotes

• John (05:16):

  "When she's like, 'Porn's bad, I don't like it so you can't,' you've got a problem. That is not going to end with just porn."

• John (06:03):

  "People who take things that you enjoy because they don't, and consider it a victory in the relationship when you stop doing them, are horrible people."

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2. "Is Watching News Anchors Creepy?" (08:00–09:32)

• Listener Dilemma: A listener admits to enjoying watching attractive women on the local Fox 10 News, expressing concern his “harpy wife” will force him to watch less-attractive anchors on other channels. He claims not to be into porn and wonders if this behavior is problematic.
• Cast Reaction:
  • John: Finds the admission strange; links admiration of attractive news anchors to a form of low-level sexual outlet, and agrees with the wife if the listener's "tugging to the weather report."

    “The second you start tugging to the weather report because you’re not into porn, I think your wife would rather you were into porn.” (09:22)

  • Group: Jokes about specific anchors (“Holly Box”—Channel 3, new batch on Channel 10) and whether this is “clean fun” or crosses a line.

Notable Moments

• John (09:04):

  "You can say the news girls are cute, but… I hope Troy Hayden’s listening, knowing that people are doing that while he’s on."

• Brady and John: Joke about news personalities and the oddness of the whole situation, making it clear there's a line between noticing an attractive anchor and making it something private or sexual.

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3. The Hit-and-Run Neighbor: "Liver King" (10:00–13:59)

• Listener Dilemma: Rodney confesses to hitting his “certifiably insane” neighbor’s car and fleeing due to fear—this neighbor is described as huge and violent, nicknamed "Liver King."
• Cast Reaction:
  • Bret: Points out the caller may have just confessed on radio to everyone in their area.
  • John: Warns against coming clean, suggesting Rodney should “die with the secret.”

    “I say you die with the secret… Liver King might not be listening. He might be eating venison raw in the backyard right now.” (13:24)

  • Brady: Jokes about selling the house or blaming someone else.

Notable Moments

• Brady (13:51):

  "Sell your house."

• John (13:56):

  "Call Doug Hopkins right now… Move."

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4. The Classic WWBD Grotesque Dilemma: “Grannies vs. the Guy” (14:30–16:22)

• Would You Rather: Save the world by having sex with either two elderly women or an attractive man—colorfully described and visually depicted for Larry McFeely, who debates the options.
• The Cast: Leans into crude banter, rapid-fire with off-the-cuff gross-out jokes, in line with the show’s reputation for edgy humor.
• Memorable Banter:
  • Brady immediately chooses the old ladies.
  • Debate over which choice is least gross, with references to “poop wiener,” “gay guy covered in diarrhea,” and “smell-o-vision.”

Standout Moments

• John (16:05):

  “For the world, Larry. We need an answer. The world will explode.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• [04:32] John: "She’s awful. I hate your girlfriend."
• [05:16] John: "When she's like, 'Porn's bad, I don't like it so you can't,' you've got a problem. That is not going to end with just porn."
• [06:03] John: "People who take things that you enjoy because they don't, and consider it a victory in the relationship when you stop doing them, are horrible people."
• [09:22] John: "The second you start tugging to the weather report because you're not into porn, I think your wife would rather you were into porn."
• [13:24] John: "I say you die with the secret… Liver King might not be listening. He might be eating venison raw in the backyard right now."
• [13:51] Brady: "Sell your house."
• [16:05] John: "For the world, Larry. We need an answer. The world will explode."

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Important Segment Timestamps

• WWBD Introduction / Icebreakers: 03:39–04:00
• Porn in Relationship: 04:00–07:00
• News Anchor Attraction: 08:00–09:32
• Hit-and-Run Neighbor (“Liver King”): 10:00–13:59
• WWBD Grotesque Dilemma (“Grannies vs. the Guy”): 14:30–16:22
• Segment Close / Wrap Up: 16:22 onward

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Tone and Style

• The show maintains its trademark raw, irreverent, and rapid-fire humor throughout.
• The hosts are blunt, sarcastic, and frequently trade jabs.
• Relationship advice is given with a comedic edge but often with honest core values (e.g., warning against controlling relationships, advocating for honesty or self-preservation).

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Controlling behavior in relationships, especially regarding innocuous personal habits, is a huge red flag.
• There’s a clear line between harmless admiration of attractive people and letting it cross into inappropriate territory, especially if it’s impacting your relationship.
• If you commit a minor wrong against a hyper-aggressive neighbor, telling the truth isn’t always the safest course—sometimes, secrecy (or selling your house!) is the less risky path, at least comedically.
• The WWBD segment thrives on pushing uncomfortable questions and seeing who can maintain their composure (and decency… or lack thereof).

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This episode is a quintessential example of Holmberg's Morning Sickness—ruthlessly honest, inappropriately funny, but anchored by a surprising core wisdom about living life authentically and not tolerating control or hypocrisy.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[C]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new [e-mail]. here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping, and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized. Countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Little old me. Choose lifted trucks and liftedtrucks.com. work hard, play hard, drive harder. Here we go. It is time now for the most moral man in all of Phoenix, even though he's a granny banger, to tell you exactly how to live your life better because you're doing it wrong. It's what would Brady do? And it's brought to you by our friends at M and P Guns right there on 12th street in Indian school with mo money pond. Hop on in there and grab anything you need in the world of guns, learn what we didn't know. How many inches is 9 millimeters? We don't know. Still can't tell you. Byron will tell you it's a third of an inch. Somebody told me because how do you know 9 millimeter size with a bullet? I'm like, I don't even know how they measure the bullets. If 9 millimeter is a thing. Don't even get me started on what a.223 or a.308. I now we're. I don't calibers versus I have no idea so once numbers are involved, I'm out. But Byron knows. And the guys down there at MMP Guns now, they know pretty much everything. And they've got their builder classes. You can hop in on that deal, go down there and get all the accessories you need. Any gun you want, they have or can get. And it's pretty impressive, all the stuff they've got down there. Check it out. 12th street in Indian School. MMP Guns and Mo Money Pond. Bring you what Brady would do. Here we go. This one first. I'm not even going to ask this, Lionel. A last second entry says, what would brady do? Matt LaFleur or John's mom, Marcy. He even throws the name in. Brady tried to have sex with my mom. Really? Yeah, he was. He was putting the heat on pretty good. My mom actually asked me, hey, could you get Brady away from it? That was at my first wedding.

[D]

Too aggressive.

[C]

It was a little too into my mother kind of thing. And that was back in. Was that 2003? So she was. Geez Louise. Is that right? She was younger than I am today, I think.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

51 or 52.

[D]

Come on. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Holy smokes. No, she. Yeah, she was 54 one year. We're different. Oh, man. So you've always had a thing? I know the answer to that. He's not going to bone Matt LaFleur. Although that is the proper answer.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

Compared to my mother, yes, it is. You saw.

[A]

It's not bring Marcy over.

[C]

She's kept it together. I'll give it to you. You'd bone my mom before Matt LaFleur. But if she was one of those real grannies. Stop asking that about my mom.

[D]

That's an easy question.

[C]

Yeah, I know it is. Because you're into it. Creep. It's a happy New Year, Jewburg. What would Brady do? My partner has a big problem with watching porn. She's okay with me tugging one out if I ever need to, but she's strongly against the use of pornography. FYI, we do not live together yet, so we have sex maybe once a week or when we can. I tell her that my sex drive is natural and that I'd much rather watch look at pictures or videos of her rather than going to black dot com. But her excuses that she isn't the kind of woman to take photos like that and I should have more self control and save myself for her. What should I do? Do I man up and hold these loads back or just not tell her anymore? Thanks, Alex.

[D]

You're heading for A. A world of destruction.

[C]

She's awful. I hate your girlfriend.

[D]

You're not on the same page on that physical side I hate. And she's gonna. It's gonna get tougher the more you push it.

[C]

She's laying down rules and stuff about how you please yourself and enjoy your days.

[D]

I mean, yeah, he.

[C]

Get out.

[D]

I think you're better with. You need to find another partner.

[C]

I agree. She's terrible. Ladies, let a man enjoy his time. However he is. The TV isn't your a threat to you. And every once in a while, he should probably wait a few days and save up a good, heavy one. But for God's sakes, when she's like, porn's bad, I don't like it. So you can't. You've got a problem. That is not going to end with just porn.

[D]

She's not going to enjoy that either.

[A]

What does she look like?

[C]

That's what we need to know. She either had a ton of money or she better be so incredibly hot. But even still, anytime a girl says, stop doing something I don't like, that you like because of me. Unless it's harmful to you or her body, then she has no right to say that because that doesn't. That doesn't end with just like, the one thing the next time. It's like, I don't like that you do that either. I don't like that you watch football on Sundays. What about me? It's. This is a bad road. Talk to her about that and say, why are you taking away something I enjoy? People who take things that you enjoy because they don't and consider it a victory in the relationship when you stop doing them are horrible people. You're not allowed to do that anymore. Why?

[D]

I love it.

[C]

Well, I don't like it, though.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Terrible. There's compromise, but when somebody's laying down the law, they're just controlling.

[D]

And with the trend, at least the way the trends go in a relationship, you know, your physical side of it will slow up eventually. You're already hitting that trail right now.

[C]

Well, it's not slowed up. They just don't get a chance to be together when they're together. They.

[D]

I mean, there's a couple of red flags there that's showing that not only would it show up, it's going to create some.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Animosity. Some.

[C]

She won't take nude pictures of herself. She's just not. That you have to control yourself is like, you know what? I'm jumping over hoops just to try to have fun with you and have pleasure with you. And you're making it like the worst thing in the world. I thought having sex was supposed to be, like, fun for everybody. And you're already telling me.

[D]

And he can oversell it too, or, you know, get a little too. Maybe there's a better way of approaching that.

[C]

But she's gonna go through his phone and it's not even going to be like, bad things gonna be websites he's visited. Now he's got to go and clear his history all the time. And it's like, ah, yeah, she's. She's gonna. She's a. She's a nightmare. Prediction she'll be in her mid to late 40s and still have no rings on her hands because she's gonna drive them all away. What? 98. No way. Homeberg's morning sickness. This one says, I really have enjoyed watching the new Cuties on the Fox 10 News, but I know that a harpy wife of mine is going to get jealous and ruin it for me and make me watch the fat girls on another channel. I'm really not into porn. It's weird. Two in a row. I'm really not into porn and I don't enjoy those disgusting videos Bert likes. So what should I do? Is this guy admitting to beating off to the news girls?

[A]

Which ones are we?

[D]

Did I feel a little heavy there. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, the fact that he's looking.

[D]

At the girls and that he threw porn.

[C]

Yeah. He's like, she.

[D]

But to tie it into that same level. Sounds like it.

[C]

Read this again.

[A]

Report him.

[C]

And there is a huge right turn in the middle of this. I've enjoyed watching the new hired cuties on Fox 10 News, but I know that harpy wife of mine is going to get jealous and ruin it for me and make us watch the fatties on another channel. I'm not really into porn. What does that have to do with anything? Watching the news. You're beaten off to the news. And I don't enjoy the Bert videos. Sincerely wrong. So you're saying your wife. Yeah, she's right. In this case, if you're throwing down.

[D]

To the news, it's clean fun with the hot girls.

[C]

Or you can like the news. Yeah, you can like. Like Holly Box.

[A]

Yeah. What channel she on?

[C]

3.

[A]

All right, well, he's watching 10, so.

[C]

That'S some good ones.

[A]

Yeah, but it's not Holly. It's not Holly quality.

[D]

Is there a new batch on 10?

[C]

There's a couple of new ones. They have a nice. The weather Girl's good. Her weather reports are too long, but she's cute. There's some cute ones, but you can say the news girls are cute, but the second you start tugging to the weather report because you're not into porn, I think your wife would rather you were into porn. Like that makes sense. Don't call your wife a harpy. She's right on this one.

[D]

Yeah. What is going on when Channel 10 is on in the news and you're like, just a mess.

[C]

What makes you think, though?

[D]

Change it back to the.

[C]

You know, here's the thing, though. He's like, ah, wife's gonna ruin this. Like, yeah, you're beaten off to the weather.

[A]

No, he's not beaten off to Corey McCloskey or something.

[C]

He didn't specify the cuties.

[D]

He did not.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

And so that's the ying and the yang drivers. The yin and the yang gloves on. Just one dude likes to tug it to good stuff, and the other one's doing it to basic news, local news. Think of that. I hope Troy Hayden's listening, knowing that people are doing that while he's on. Dear Brady, I accidentally hit my neighbor's car backing out of the driveway the other day. Nothing really bad happened, but I drove away. I do not want to tell him my neighbor is certifiably insane. He once took a swing at another neighbor because the guy walked on his lawn. He went to his house to do it. He also screamed at a guy for throwing trash in the garbage on trash day, and the guy lost it. I live in fear of him almost every day. Anyway, I did it yesterday afternoon. Saturday, he parks like an idiot, sort of wherever he wants in the cul de sac. So far, he hasn't put it together that I hit him and I've kept my car in the garage and I'm going to go get it painted immediately. I do have a little guilt, but I can't beat him up. There's no way. And I don't want to deal with him. I'm admitting completely that I'm scared. He's huge. Like that Liver King guy, too. I need help, Rodney. He ran over the Liver King's car.

[A]

Well, moron, you just told everybody in the Valley you did it.

[C]

Shh. You might use the fake word.

[D]

Gets out. Liver King gets. Oh, boy.

[C]

He took a swing at a guy for walking in his lawn. He went to find him.

[D]

No, he said there wasn't much damage, but then he's like, I gotta paint my car.

[C]

Not much damage, but still Something you'd notice and line up. That's my guess.

[D]

Like he would It'd be like, you know, grocery cart ram the door. Door ding.

[C]

It sounds to me. Yeah. Like there's like he can fix his with a little paint. And I think he's hoping that liver king can too. Or liver king will never notice.

[D]

But I would have backup.

[C]

Yeah. The cops.

[A]

Especially now.

[D]

And tell the liver king what happened.

[C]

No way.

[A]

Especially now. You owned it. You said it on the air.

[C]

Nobody knows that.

[A]

It doesn't matter. How many dudes live in a cul de sac that had their car hit. That's a big dude. And that knocked somebody else out on their grass.

[C]

Make a strong point. This this guy Identify an awful lot of details. Rodney, you're gonna get killed by the liver. Done.

[D]

He could be pleasantly surprised.

[C]

Or not.

[D]

I appreciate it.

[C]

Or not.

[D]

God bless.

[C]

No. I'm gonna kill you. Stuffs him in the garbage with the other neighbor's trash.

[D]

What's he like, you know, like, if he likes yous know, he drinks whiskey or something.

[C]

No way. Don't get him drunk.

[D]

I want to apologize.

[A]

No way.

[D]

And I want to get your car fixed.

[C]

Crazy talk.

[A]

You're done.

[C]

I I go over to his house, and I knock on the door, and I'm like, hey, liver king, what's up? What do you want? Okay, not for nothing, but Larry down the road hit your car. I saw it.

[D]

Here's what you do.

[C]

And Larry did it.

[D]

You you knock on the door, like, hey, someone just went by your car and smashed it. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Wait for a car to leave the culdesac and then run outside and go.

[D]

Hey, I only got the first three letters.

[A]

Got to make sure it's the right color and everything else.

[C]

And then you say, trouble. And then you say, let's get him. And then you and liver king run after him. Then you call the police on liver king. Get rid of him.

[D]

Drives the same car I do.

[C]

Yeah. Guy looks a lot like me. Drives a car very similar. Bumped into your car the other. It's crazy. Let's get him. And then he called the police.

[D]

He got my car, too.

[C]

Yeah. I say you die with the secret. I mean, he gave up a lot. Brett, you're not wrong. But liver king might not be listening. He might be eating venison raw in the backyard right now.

[D]

Not ride it out.

[C]

Doesn't get back to him. Ride it. Do not tell liver king O. And get rid of ring cameras and all that stuff, too.

[D]

Sell your house.

[C]

You know what? Call Doug Hopkins Right now.

[D]

If you're gonna. If you're gonna hang on to it. Move.

[C]

Call game day men's health and get some testosterone in your chicken body. And then I think get Doug Hopkins on the horn. We'll get you out of there. And then lifted trucks. We'll get you a new car. We've got you covered with all the endorsements. Holy smokes. That's scary. Living next door to the Liver King. Is that what that guy's name is? The Liver King? Wasn't either one that ate nothing but liver, but it was all steroids.

[D]

But he's got a. Oh, I know.

[C]

He's got a real name. Nobody names their child Liver King, but.

[D]

Well, there's one.

[C]

No, there aren't. There's none. Larry.

[B]

Yes, sir?

[C]

Show them the grandmas. Two old grandmas. I'm gonna. I'm gonna throw it to Larry, see if he's a pervert like you two. Of course I am. You think Larry McFeely will answer this? What would Larry, do you have a choice? Today's question. Would you rather here, this right here. Do you want to have sex with these two elderly women showering? There's the end of the world, and it's these two or a dude. What do you do? Look. No, no. You gotta save the world. Oh, to save the world. Save the world. You gotta do one or the other. It's the dude, isn't it? How good looking is that? He's very good looking. Handsome man. Really? Yeah. He's a handsome younger fella. Yep.

[A]

Think of poop wiener, though.

[C]

That's all right.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

It's gonna be all over them, too.

[D]

Show them, Brett.

[A]

Oh, yeah, let me find that one again.

[D]

You got a picture of the dude?

[C]

Well, picture any dude you want. I like that Larry's even having the internal debate. Brady was so quick to go the old ladies. Like, he couldn't wait. Those old ladies. Gross. And Brett's gonna show you a picture of.

[A]

I gotta find it.

[C]

A gay guy covered in diarrhea. Oh, great. Yeah. That's not the option. That doesn't.

[A]

That is the option.

[C]

For the world, Larry. We need an answer. The world will explode.

[D]

There you go, Larry. There's Granny's.

[A]

The granny.

[C]

That's not what goes on.

[D]

Great job.

[C]

Covered in.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

No, thanks. All right, we need smell horn your way. If we get smell o vision, it would. Each side would be the same.

[D]

Okay, that's enough.

[C]

Nope, still in on that. Okay, there you go. Disgusting questions. Brett has Google search.

[D]

There you go.

[C]

Not what happens. It's not. Huh? So, yeah, I'm with Brady time. I hope you get arrested for that. I hope that algorithm never changes in your world. It's 9:29. There you go. Everybody stop beating off to the news and break up with that girl and sell your house. Sell your house. The liver king's gonna kill you. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98.