01-13-25 - BR - MON - Turquoise Name Originated In Turkey - 38 Percent Of Vegans Admit They Cheat w/Meat - China Study Finds Grape Juice Helps w/ED - Fla Man Busted For Bestiality w/Horse Nostril

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Podcast Summary
Episode: January 13, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: January 13, 2025

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1. Turquoise Name Origin

Discussion Highlights: The episode opens with an engaging conversation about the etymology of the word "turquoise." John Holmberg challenges the commonly held belief that "turquoise" originates directly from the Turkish language, highlighting the association with Native American culture instead.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [05:10]: "Turquoise isn't Native American. Interesting."
• Listener Rochelle [05:55]: "Turquoise is Native American, but the word is not. They call it the sky stone."

Insights:

• The term "turquoise" is derived from the French word for Turkish, reflecting the stone's trade origin from Turkey.
• Native Americans have their own names for the stone, emphasizing its cultural significance beyond the borrowed term.

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2. College Basketball Jersey Number Regulations

Discussion Highlights: Brady Bogen introduces a quirky historical fact about college basketball: prior to 2023, players were restricted from wearing jersey numbers containing the digits 6, 7, 8, or 9. This rule was implemented to streamline referee communications during games.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [07:24]: "Before 2023, college basketball players aren't allowed to have a jersey number that includes 6, 7, 8, or 9."
• John Holmberg [08:13]: "No one in college basketball history had a 6 or 7 and 8 or 9 on their jersey."

Insights:

• The restriction aimed to reduce confusion during gameplay by limiting the range of numbers visible to referees when signaling fouls.
• The change in 2023 allows greater flexibility and personal expression for players through their jersey choices.

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3. Holiday Decorations Takedown Survey

Discussion Highlights: The hosts delve into a recent survey about the appropriate date to remove holiday decorations. The suggested date is January 16th, but opinions vary significantly.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [08:39]: "According to a new survey, January 16th is the designated date to take down holiday decorations."
• John Holmberg [09:16]: "There's a timeline, especially this year. New Year's was on a Wednesday."

Insights:

• Generational Differences: Millennials tend to be more relaxed about keeping decorations up longer, while Baby Boomers prefer them removed promptly to maintain neighborhood aesthetics.
• Psychological Aspect: Keeping decorations up can prolong the festive spirit, but excessive duration may lead to perceptions of neglect or sloppiness in the community.

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4. Vegans and Meat Cheating Statistics

Discussion Highlights: A provocative topic is introduced regarding dietary habits among vegetarians and vegans. A survey by Lindt's Heritage Angle reveals that 38% of self-identified vegetarians and vegans admit to cheating by consuming meat, dairy, or eggs occasionally.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [09:40]: "A new poll of vegetarians and vegans shows 38% admit to cheat meals with meat."
• John Holmberg [10:14]: "Vegans, you act like you're all pure with this thing. You're not."

Insights:

• Behavioral Patterns: The pressure to adhere strictly to dietary choices can lead to occasional lapses, reflecting the challenges of maintaining long-term lifestyle changes.
• Industry Impact: Such statistics can influence marketing strategies and the development of more flexible dietary products to accommodate occasional indulgences.

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5. Florida Man Busted for Bestiality with Horse Nostril

Discussion Highlights: One of the more sensational stories covers the arrest of a man in Florida for engaging in bestiality with a horse, specifically targeting the animal's nostril.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [26:44]: "Florida man arrested for bestiality because somebody saw him putting his wiener in a horse's nostril."
• Brady Bogen [26:15]: "Daniel Callaway was arrested and booked on one count of sexual contact with animals."

Insights:

• Legal Implications: This incident underscores the severe legal consequences associated with bestiality, highlighting societal and legal boundaries regarding animal treatment.
• Public Reaction: Such cases often provoke widespread public outrage and discussions about animal rights and the psychological factors contributing to such behavior.

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6. Grapefruit Juice and Erectile Dysfunction Study

Discussion Highlights: Brady discusses a study from Tianjin Medical University General Hospital in China, which found that consuming five servings of grape juice weekly significantly reduced instances of erectile dysfunction (ED) among men.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [17:24]: "Men who drank five servings of grape juice a week saw their ED cases drop by 80%."
• John Holmberg [18:16]: "Your dick won't work. It's because of the grape drink."

Insights:

• Health Benefits: The antioxidants present in natural grape juice may improve blood flow and vascular health, contributing to reduced ED symptoms.
• Consumption Recommendations: Emphasis on consuming natural, unprocessed grape juice is crucial, as sugary or artificially flavored alternatives may not offer the same benefits.

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7. Incident of Deputy Rear-End Collision While Distracted

Discussion Highlights: An alarming incident is recounted where a sheriff's deputy in Lake County, Florida, rear-ended a vehicle while allegedly distracted by watching pornography on his phone. This negligence led to his resignation.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [16:26]: "A sheriff's deputy rear-ended a car while he was scrolling through texts."
• John Holmberg [17:00]: "Watching porn in his car. Was he actively watching or just passively?"

Insights:

• Officer Accountability: This case highlights the importance of accountability and the potential repercussions for law enforcement officers who fail to adhere to professional standards.
• Distracted Driving Risks: Reinforces the broader dangers of distracted driving, emphasizing the need for strict policies and awareness campaigns to prevent such incidents.

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8. Violent Altercation at Dollar General Over Hot Pockets

Discussion Highlights: A story is shared about Daniel Hudson from Michigan, who violently confronted Dollar General employees after being accused of stealing Hot Pockets. The confrontation escalated to the point where Hudson brandished a firearm.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [19:36]: "Daniel tried to tell police that he didn't mean to steal the Hot Pockets."
• John Holmberg [20:17]: "He was gonna give him a Hot Pocket. Hold on."

Insights:

• Retail Security: Highlights the challenges retailers face in preventing theft and managing confrontations without escalating to violence.
• Mental Health Considerations: Such extreme reactions may indicate underlying mental health issues, raising questions about support systems for individuals prone to violent outbursts.

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9. Kim Kardashian Advocates for Wage Increase for Incarcerated Firefighters

Discussion Highlights: The hosts discuss celebrity involvement in advocating for better wages for prisoners working in firefighting crews. Kim Kardashian is highlighted for pushing for increased compensation for these inmates.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [22:12]: "Kim Kardashian is fighting for a wage increase for some of the firefighters that are fighting the fire because they make pennies a day."
• Dick Toledo [23:35]: "Incarcerated prisoners are paid between 16 cents and 74 cents an hour."

Insights:

• Prison Labor Conditions: The advocacy brings attention to the often exploitative wages paid to incarcerated individuals performing essential services like firefighting.
• Economic Implications: Improving wages could incentivize better performance and provide inmates with more resources for rehabilitation, though it may require significant policy changes.

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10. Brief Insights and Anecdotes

Additional Topics: Towards the end of the episode, the hosts share various humorous and bizarre anecdotes, including:

• A fabricated "Fear Thy Neighbor" segment featuring ludicrous scenarios.
• Discussions about unusual and graphic online videos submitted by listeners.
• Light-hearted banter about everyday mishaps and oddities.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [34:56]: "Oh, there’s a man making love to him. It looked like the inside of a pomegranate."
• Brady Bogen [37:10]: "It's been a while for you, you said."

Insights:

• These segments showcase the hosts' chemistry and ability to entertain through humor and absurdity, balancing the more serious discussions with levity.

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Conclusion

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, John Holmberg, alongside his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, navigated through a diverse array of topics ranging from cultural discussions and health studies to sensational criminal cases and social issues. The blend of informative content with humor and candid conversations provided listeners with both insights and entertainment, staying true to the show's mission to "entertain, question, and disturb."

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For more episodes and detailed discussions, visit Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too, and you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com Morning Sickness got an email from Rochelle. We know her all too well. Shows up at her event, the Gilbert Yuppies. She says, hello, John. I think rib removal's been a thing for a while. I didn't know it was like a legal thing, though. I always thought she said, I can remember discussing models in the Victoria's Secret catalog. Yes, the one that came to in paper version. I was with friends in the 90s and they had one girl said that another one had her ribs removed and the one brunette was nicknamed Missing Rib Girl. But wasn't that, like a thing? You had to fly to Central America and have some sort of weird doctor do it. I didn't know it was real. She said, believe me, as a boxy broadcast. I've been thinking about this most of my adult life, but I don't think I'd ever do it. But it is nice to know that it's affordable. Yeah, $17,000. It's approachable for you boxy broads. Now there's got to be an age cut off for that. There's no reason. There's no reason to be like 60 and then cutting out ribs because nobody cares what a 6 year old's curves look like. Expired. The dead man's curve they call. Anyway, just a thought, but Rochelle, you look fine. We see her all the time. You don't need. I've never thought of her as boxy. No. If your husband wants your ribs removed, he hates you. There's something going on. You should get a few ribs removed. We're not allowed to say that stuff. Just don't do it. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. And we say Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Wow. Who's Feeny?

[Brady]

I went right into Phoenix and said to you. Phoenix. I forgot the two you.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It happens. It's Monday. Does happen.

[Brady]

It's a Monday.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Happy National Youth Day.

[John Holmberg]

Good. On your kids. A couple of days celebrating our own youth or someone else's celebrating today's youth. Oh, it's not like Happy Youth Day where you're like. You reminisce about your own.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Celebrate. I don't have any. That's pretty good. Did you say Ute? Yeah, I celebrate the fact that there are no ute's in my life. Oh, Ute can handle.

[Brady]

Couple of baseless fun facts. The modern Oval Office was only created in 1934. It was designed so that President Franklin D. Roosevelt could use his wheelchair. He could move easily between the office and the residence.

[John Holmberg]

They rounded it out for him.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What was it before?

[Brady]

Not sure.

[John Holmberg]

Look it up. Was it a square room that didn't help guys with wheelchairs?

[Brady]

Maybe he even. Maybe there wasn't even an office near the residential side at the time.

[John Holmberg]

It didn't include an office in the White House when they built it. You'd think that that would have been a big deal. You got to have an office space. Perhaps.

[Brady]

Or it could have been on a different level, too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Oval Office is down low. The residential is second floor. Oh, it is. So, yeah. So whatever they did with Roosevelt, I.

[Brady]

Thought the overall second floor.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's down there in the. And then it pops out to the. Remember, that's where the. Yeah, that big garden where Kennedy used to stand and stare out windows. I think that's. And that's. Plus that's because it's not in the residential area. There's too many people wandering in and out of there.

[Brady]

So evidently either design. So he could easily move between the office and the residence.

[John Holmberg]

So maybe they Have a thing where they juice him up there. I don't know. Maybe the residence was down. Maybe slept downstairs because he was a wheelie.

[Brady]

The word turquoise is based on the Turkish word. The word Turkish, basically because it's described the color of the Mediterranean Sea and the coast of southern Turkey.

[John Holmberg]

That's where Indians got it.

[Brady]

Just so.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. Sure. Wait. Natives American curiosity.

[Brady]

So, no, that wouldn't be it. That's our American word. But the English word for turquoise. Maybe it's another word in the native language.

[John Holmberg]

But they're the ones who embraced it. Native Americans. I figured that was their word. Well, don't get indignant about it. Why are you being a dick? Shut up. I don't know what that was. Dick. Got a little dick attitude on that. I'm just asking some questions about your store.

[Brady]

It makes me curious now that. Did they. What did they call it?

[John Holmberg]

Who? Indians.

[Brady]

Indians.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I just said. Like, that's the thing. Like, how do you bring them? All they do is talk about turquoise. And evidently it's a Turkish thing about the Mediterranean Sea that goes back to my argument about that hasn't been Camelback Mountain the whole time. What'd they call it before? Because Indians weren't familiar with camels back a thousand years ago. They didn't sit and go, that looks like a camel. And they go, what the hell's a camel? They've never seen one that got named Camelback mountain. Somewhere around 1870, when Whitey came through and said, what do you call on that thing? Mountain? We're not saying that, chief. That's a camel. And then, you know.

[Brady]

Groundhog sausage.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's no. That's a real guy. They don't. They didn't look at that and see a camel. They didn't know what a camel was. That might have been, like, you know, that's like calling it, you know, Snoopy Mountain. I just didn't know what it was. So turquoise isn't Native American. Interesting.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't tell Gilbert Ortega.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the thing. Like, if it. Like, you'd think they'd be a little bit pusher about. Yeah, that's your word. We call it this, but they don't. There's, like, shops. Turquoise this, turquoise that, and it's almost all Native American stuff. They love that.

[Brady]

Before 2023, college basketball players aren't allowed to have. They weren't allowed to have a jersey number that includes 6, 7, 8, or 9.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Why?

[Brady]

Because after a foul, the refs would signal the player's number to the scores table with both hands. And small numbers made it easier.

[John Holmberg]

It's true. Yeah. They still do that signal numbers over.

[Brady]

They do yellow till 2023. Now it changed. Now you can have.

[John Holmberg]

It could have been 2023.

[Brady]

It could be a time before 2023.

[John Holmberg]

No one wore number I think Michael Jordan. College basketball never had anybody weren't allowed.

[Brady]

To have a jersey number that includes a 6, 7, 8 or 9.

[John Holmberg]

No one in college basketball history had a 6 or 7 and 8 or 9 on their jersey.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I thought Lynn Bias was seven.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. They're heading oh for the first.

[Dick Toledo]

First number. Isn't that what it said?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the first number. That makes sense. So to have a double digit number you can't start. You can't be 60s, 70s or 80s. Okay, I gotcha. That adds up.

[Brady]

According to a new survey that the date when holiday decorations should be taken down. January 16th. Geez, that's late coming Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Should have done it two weeks earlier than that.

[Dick Toledo]

Bunch of houses some guys still like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just don't light them. You can keep them up there and be lazy, but don't do the candy canes anymore. Just makes everybody think you're lazy.

[Brady]

But 45% of people say they shouldn't. There shouldn't be a specific decorations down date. Survey suggests that means these people are happy to see the lights and decorations stay up long into the new year.

[John Holmberg]

There's a not a specific date, but there's a timeline. Especially this year. New Year's was on a Wednesday. Yeah, you should have had that mopped up by the end of the week. I'll give you through Friday. Then Saturday when you're not working, you get out there, you tear your stuff down. You had Saturday and Sunday of that weekend if they're still up. Now you're just procrastinating.

[Brady]

Millennials are the most chill about decorations staying out. Boomers were the least likely to support it.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Because it makes the neighborhood look trashy if it's too late.

[Brady]

And a new poll of vegetarians and vegans, 38% admit that they had cheat meals where they tried meat or had meat and then also dairy and eggs. More likely to admit than vegans who avoided altogether. So they're saying 38% people that consider themselves a vegetarian or vegan cheat two.

[John Holmberg]

Or three times a year because it's too delicious. Yeah. Now there's no way that they're not. Plus butter and stuff. If you start getting into the real hardcore thing, anything comes from an animal they Won't. I don't buy into any. Think anybody does that. I think that's like the Bible. I don't think anybody's actually read it. They say they have. I don't think anybody's actually sat down and read the whole thing. Vegans, you're the same deal. You act like you're all pure with this thing. You're not.

[Brady]

33% of those people admit they keep their meat indulgences a secret.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But who are you harming, vegan? Only you.

[Brady]

Now, the survey was conducted by a beef company called Lindt's Heritage Angle.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what? They're. They're being honest. They basically started to see the vegans, you know, cutting corners are like, all right, we're going to blow the lid off of this thing. Vegans would have you believe the beef council would tattle on them and falsely drum up these accusations. But what is in it for the beef people to say you're cheating? Nothing at all of ignoring you would be the best thing they could do. By the way, I just got an email from, I believe a native American, and it says, john the stone. Turquoise is Native American, but the word is not. They call it the sky stone, and they fall from the sky when you turn up. Slayer. Oh, I didn't know that. That's very. Thank you. I feel like I'm at one with the land. Call it turquoise if you want. The Indians call it prophet. Yeah, exactly. They call it green. It's the only green stone they've got these dumb middle west these people, they come from Ohio and Indiana and they eat up turquoise. What is the tie back to the Native American, the turquoise. Yeah, I'm not sure we got enough listening. Tell us. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness [e-mail] College hoops.

[Brady]

Are here, and there's no better place.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

The Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or buzzballs for a low price.

[John Holmberg]

This offer is for game days only.

[Brady]

So grab your crew, enjoy the action.

[John Holmberg]

And feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joined since 1983.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne.

[John Holmberg]

From Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that? Larry? Your car system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[John Holmberg]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.

[Brady]

That's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say. We're Amco.

[Dick Toledo]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot more. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 and McClintock. Fisher Tools has been building the Valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] cup KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo. And new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first five dollar wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text NEXT STEP to 53342.

[John Holmberg]

Homeburg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Benjamin Cook is from Tennessee and he's facing six counts of aggravated assault. Connection with the shooting. This family in the neighborhood went down the block after some snow snowfall the day before. Let's go sledding. They found the hill in their neighborhood and as they're going down on the toboggan whatever sled they're doing, gunshots were fired.

[John Holmberg]

Oh boy.

[Brady]

Benjamin Cook was firing his rifle at the family.

[John Holmberg]

Fear thy neighbors.

[Brady]

They're on my property.

[John Holmberg]

This will be on ID channel soon. Neighbors shooting each other like nobody's business.

[Brady]

Well, there's one problem. It wasn't his property. Oh, he just didn't want him sledding in that area. The police showed up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not allowed to shoot at people no matter what.

[Brady]

Ben. Ben, this isn't your property.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and that's a good look. And. And by the way, even if it was your property, still not allowed to shoot and kill people.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Unless they're sledding at you with M16s and they're heading directly towards you with a. Like a ISIS flag hanging off of one of the sleds.

[Dick Toledo]

Like you've always said, leave one story.

[John Holmberg]

If you're gonna do it. You know, if you're gonna do it. Get rid of the sledders and tell a tale of how they came. They were sled marauders. Yeah. And they're coming down the hill.

[Brady]

Attacked me in a toboggan at the clip.

[John Holmberg]

They was coming at me. I had no choice. You killed some festive sledders. No, they was a coming to kill me. In the family. Tonight on the ID Channel, Fear thy neighbor. The simple act of sledding turns deadly. What's this all about?

[Brady]

The mom said when she's going down the hill, the one time she could see in front of snow flying up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he was just missing.

[Brady]

Well. Oh, he's just firing, like, warning shots or. Well, you know, or. Missing.

[John Holmberg]

He's missing.

[Dick Toledo]

Those are tracer rounds, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

The snow's doing little explosions. Wow, that is some. I love that fear thy neighbor show, man.

[Brady]

In Lake County, Florida, a sheriff's deputy rear ended a car. He told his chief it was his fault. He gets out of the car and says, I'm sorry. Even the camera on his. The body cam shows the airbag deployed in his car. And he said I was scrolling through texts and his testimony while they found out. He wasn't scrolling through text.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he was porn watching. And he's a cop.

[Brady]

Yeah, he resigned.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he bumped into somebody else.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So he wrecked his cruiser.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Watching porn in his car. Was he actively watching or just passively.

[Brady]

Enough so that he rear ended a car? Right.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know he's. I'm not. I'm saying when I say actively watching.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, no, there wasn't. I don't think. There's no action or anything like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're just like, in like a little rubbing. Did they test to see if there are any wet spots is what I'm saying.

[Brady]

Not sure.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the map of Hawaii was. Let's see if he's got the illusions down his leg, because that's. You don't have to take your pants off to actually do that. But you shouldn't be doing that in driving. No, that's no good.

[Brady]

Researchers at the Tianjin Medical University General Hospital in Northern China just did a study, analyzed 600 men, 300 who suffer from ED and 300 who don't, and the average age was 47 years old. They showed that the men who drank, they. They drank five servings of grape juice a week.

[John Holmberg]

Healthy grape juice.

[Brady]

Not. Well, ED in men that had suffered from ED went down 80%.

[John Holmberg]

From drinking natural grape juice?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Not hi C or the no.

[Brady]

Natural Grape Welch's.

[John Holmberg]

Black people, don't get excited. You can still get it. What you're drinking isn't great. That grape drink does not count. Grape drink does not count. Your dick won't work. It's because of the grape drink. Hey, man, that's racist. And also fairly accurate.

[Brady]

Men below the age of 40 gained only a third as much as the benefit at just 27%. Reduced odds, huh?

[John Holmberg]

So grape juice keeps the softest softies away.

[Brady]

Keeps it flowing.

[John Holmberg]

In China, at least.

[Brady]

True.

[John Holmberg]

Like, maybe they've got some sort of a thing with all that MSG and what they're eating, that it mixes up with the grape juice and makes you easier to have boners. Plus, there's not a lot of. In China, there's not a lot of blood necessary to get a Chinese boner. Heart only takes so much like an eyedropper to make the pixelation go away. No, that's Japanese. Yeah, it's over there. No, no, they're different. It's over there. They drink the goji berry. Yeah, the Chinese guys. If your blood's not flowing fast enough to get your heart on in China, then you're basically Buddha.

[Brady]

Daniel Hudson is from Michigan, and he went into a Dollar General earlier this month, started stuffing Hot Pockets into his pocket. An employee confronted it. He didn't take that that well. He started yelling at the employees, and then he reached into another pocket and pulled out a gun. He threatened to blow the employee's head.

[John Holmberg]

Off, let him have the pockets.

[Brady]

So they let him get away and called the police. They said they knew him because he was actually a regular customer. The cops tracked Daniel down in the break room at his workplace. Where he was eating a Hot Pocket.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, he had plenty.

[Brady]

They arrested him. Found a pistol in his backpack.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like the guy.

[Brady]

Daniel tried to tell police that he didn't mean to steal the Hot Pockets. He just put them in his pocket because he didn't see a clerk at the Dollar General.

[John Holmberg]

At the time, that is exactly the definition of stealing.

[Brady]

He claimed the only. He only got the gun out when he was emptying the Hot Pockets out of his pocket. And when an employee finally showed up, he didn't point it at anyone. The cops asked him if he said he was going to blow the employee's head off. He admitted that basically it was a threat.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

And that was because he was upset they weren't going to let him purchase the Hot Pockets.

[John Holmberg]

But what he meant was, they didn't.

[Brady]

Buy any of it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna blow your head off. With delicious, amazing flavor. Yeah. Because he was gonna give him a hot pot. Hold on. Just saying. I will blow your head off. Hot Pockets just. They're not that expensive. No, if you can't afford Dollar General. Exactly. That's even. And then you say they found him at work where evidently he makes a penny a day, I guess, by the way, can Air Jordans in a sweatshop or something. I mean, what is this? Yeah. Where he's working. That Hot Pockets are a little hoity.

[Brady]

Toity on break too. Maybe he was running down there real.

[John Holmberg]

Quick to get the grab some pockets and he's in a hurry putting them in his pocket, say, well, there's no employee here. These are free. Which is why you can't have an honor system at work. We tried here. We have tried here. And it didn't work. Because then the Bogan family started to do their barter system with the fishbowl of Cha. Like you're supposed to pay. And next thing you know, there were ten dollar coupons for other places paying for the food for 20 riblets. And Charlie Brady's nephew wrecked it. It's my nephew Dave and Buster's $10 gift card. He thought that was money. And then he had a couple of coupons to Applebee's in the bottom of that thing. We had to cut it all down, by the way. I don't know if you guys saw that. Kim Kardashian is fighting for a wage increase for some of the firefighters that are fighting the fire because they make pennies a day. Because they're correctional. They're prisoners. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

They make a dollar an hour.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So they're. They're in the orange and they've done a great job. Like they dumped a bunch of them in there to dig the lines and get things. Yeah. It's a big thing, but so she's going to bat saying they need to up their wages. And I'm like, aren't there wages? Like if they do this, they get some time cut off, they get out. Right. Not necessarily just, like freed immediately.

[Brady]

Yeah, but these aren't.

[Dick Toledo]

You got to be one of the better prisoners.

[John Holmberg]

In the first place, you're not death row.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

These are guys who are, like, going to reintroduce themselves to society, their time.

[Brady]

It should. I think they.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, then. So shut up Earlier, Kardashian, about getting them more cash. They're getting what they get. I don't. Yeah, I'm all for like, you know, if it's a dollar a day, it's like, yeah, that's because you're a criminal. You signed up for the fire brigade in jail. I don't think they should get more money.

[Brady]

Maybe some of the looters can give them some of their stuff that they're.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the looters.

[Dick Toledo]

According to Google in the New York Times, most of the prisoners get time credits or they earn time credits.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Two days are removed from their sentences for every day they serve on a fire crew.

[John Holmberg]

Now maybe boost that up a little bit. Give them five for one for this particular tragedy.

[Dick Toledo]

That's not bad. This is a big one because I.

[John Holmberg]

Think most emerging emergencies where you're. This is huge. Life is on the line, I think. Yeah. If you drop five for one on this thing, they'd take that over a raise.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Ask any prisoner less time or a couple more bucks an hour, they'll be like, yeah, take the time, cut the time off. Seems ridiculous to even think otherwise, but she's trying to let Manson out there. Death row guys, you're not getting the worst of the worst dragging around out there. Maybe a couple of dudes who have some violent offenses, but not, you know, they're not life sentence guys. These guys are getting out.

[Dick Toledo]

Incarcerated prisoners are paid between 16 cents and 74 cents an hour or a maximum of $5.80 to $10.24 per day, a rate that was actually doubled two years ago.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good gig. It's one of the finer prison jobs you can get.

[Dick Toledo]

While assigned to an active emergency. Incarcerated prisoners on the fire crew earn an additional $1 per hour per day by Cal Fire, making up to $26.90 per day during a 24 hour shift.

[John Holmberg]

So they're running big shifts. They get 25 bucks. Yeah, well, it's a lot of cigarettes in jail. But if you said to me, forfeit this dollar raise and I'll give you five more days. You got it right. For every 24 hours you serve, I'll give you seven days out off your sentence, and that starts adding up. You start rooting for fires. But, yeah, you know, they showed them on the news the other night, and they're all in their orange jumpsuits and they're. I don't think they were chained together, but it looked they were pretty darn close, so.

[Dick Toledo]

Prison fire crew camps in California were established in 1915.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great thing we got so many people in prison. Let's get them working.

[Dick Toledo]

There are 939 prison firefighters working around the clock, cutting fire lines currently in California.

[John Holmberg]

It's insane.

[Dick Toledo]

Including 110 support staff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Visit Homeburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And you know, no offense, but if things go a little bit sideways with one of those fire crews, it's a lot better than if a real fire crew gets burned out. Put them in the most dangerous spots is what I'm saying. And then, yeah, that hazardous thing, you start going into the more dangerous spots. We'll add a couple more days and we'll get you out of here early. I don't understand it. You got any videos?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Brett. No, it's all on me, man. Yeah, it's all you, man. All you. And the other thing. Did you see the guy who got in trouble for this? Should be one of Brett's videos. He's in jail, the headline said. I'm surprised this wasn't a report today. Florida man arrested for bestiality because somebody saw him putting his wiener in a horse's nostril.

[Dick Toledo]

That's too close to those teeth, man.

[John Holmberg]

Well, anytime your wieners out by a horse, yeah, you get some of those Tom Brady choppers, but. All right, you make a solid point. However, if your dick's out around a horse at all, it's too close to those teeth, man. You should never be naked and adjacent to a pony unless your clothes started on fire at all. The rules of nakedness, the rules of nudity are. Oops. That horse is too close. It's illegal to have my pants off.

[Dick Toledo]

Is your dog in the room against the rules?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, because they live in the house, so there's a chance they can be negative. If the horse lives in the house, you've got another problem. But for the most part, if you're naked around a horse, something bad's about to happen.

[Dick Toledo]

All livestock, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there it is. Florida man arrested for sexual contact with animal tried to put penis in horses nostril. It was the day after Christmas of course it was. And the cops say an unnamed witness said they saw a man masturbating next to the head of 28 year old horse named Raven. The witness also alleges the man was tapping his penis against the horse's nose. Claims he attempted to use the nostril. Now cops say this witness claims the man continued to pleasure himself while touching the horse. Cops. That's actually a really well trained horse. That right there must have been an apple scent or something. Calloway was touching himself next to the horse before he did the thing with the tapping. The video actually coaxing it. The video doesn't show Callaway inserting his wiener into the nostril. However, they add his actions and movements make it like he's certainly trying to. Anyway, he said they confronted him. Here was Florida man's excuse. And they said he said this was a dumb decision. Then he said, I haven't had sex in probably two months. I'm just frustrated, man. You can't go 60 days. He's never been married. Callaway was on arrested and booked on one count of sexual contact. Sexual contact with animals. He's gonna be in jail for a minute. Hey, man, it's been two long months. You ever touched a horse's nose? That's soft stuff, baby velvet. Besides, horse didn't move, so I think she wanted it. Plus she's 28. You know, that's half my age. Plus seven. That worked out.

[Brady]

That a girl, Raven.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good. Oh, that's right. Make that noise again. All right, Bert, what do you got? All right, here's a little scene from a house party. When you invite too many people. There's a guy sleeping. Look like Saddam Hussein. Oh, my God. There's like 400 people. The floor gave way. Oh, did it eat them all up? Yeah, I don't know. What's that first shot of the Saddam sleeping in that room? Yeah, that. I don't know. Go back and pause the beginning of this because I believe Saddam Hussein is asleep in another room.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's a guy sleeping. It's a house party.

[John Holmberg]

They fell into the basement and they're in Saddam's little bunker. Things in Iraq are much better than they used to be. Wow. How about that part of that video? Uncovers a mystery. No, we thought we got him, but evidently not sure if we've seen this one. But we've seen something. People getting off of a city bus or train. Train. They're popping off. It stopped. But you gotta hurry up. Oh, nope. It's going Again, she got all the way out, though. I think she's okay.

[Brady]

Left one bag.

[John Holmberg]

That thing got moving fast. That's like a Tesla. That was zero to 60 mighty quick. All right, is he ready to run? We're at a bounce house with a pinata. And the pinata has been always swinging, always swinging wildly. Oh, he threw the bat. Cameraman. Oh, you gotta hang on to that bat, son. All right, here's a lady riding on the back of a motorcycle that's seemingly out of control. Or she's just bad at filming. She's in a pair. She's in some cut off shorts, and down they go. Oh, this won't be good. It doesn't really. Oh, they don't. Okay. I was gonna say the road rash on that. Yeah.

[Brady]

Hot dogging.

[John Holmberg]

This is a. This is a newbie throwing one in for us. This is Los Hermanos. This is someone named Los Hermanos. The brothers. Yes. Oh. Oh, my God. Someone hanging out of the side of a crashed car. I don't know what that is, and I don't know. Is that their head? That's the head. Oh, there's the face hanging. There's the face hanging off. Oh, it's split in half. So their head was split right down the center all the way across, and everything in it is on the ground as she hangs out of the side of the car.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Or he. Yeah, it ceases to be a thing at this point. Yeah, it's just. It's titled. Meanwhile on the west side, There's Skull got Butterflied. Wow. All right, well, that one's awful. Thanks, Brett. That was definitely supposed to go on. That was awful. Oh. Oh, man. All right, time out. Hit the pause button. I can't even grasp what in the world I'm looking at. All right, I don't either. I'm going to try to explain this as best I can. It's a man. There's not much there. It's a five second video. Right. It's the most. It's the hairiest man ever. And then the pants are off and it's close up of this man's female genitalia. And it is. There's hair everywhere. It looks like it's cookie crumbles. It's just so much hair. And then in the middle of it is some sort of a weird. Not. Not natural, maybe manufactured. It's gotta be. You know, there's a. That's an accident. Like that was. There's nothing about that. Thank you for that. Why is that a video? That's just the dudes. That's Bailey sending that. That's a man's hairy vagina. And I've never said that phrase before. He sent this one into. Oh, all right. Okay. This is a dominatrix with a guy. His butt's out. She's lubing up. She has about a three and a half foot massive. Whoa. Artificial. And she is. Oh, she's about to have all three feet are in. And I mean, this guy's a champ. Holy smokes. And it is not small. It's about the size of a chunky soup can in diameter, but it is three feet long. Even Barry would be going, God damn. Barry Wood would be. That's too much for anybody. This dude can't be alive. And the audio is exactly what you'd expect it to be. Just chaos. Enough film. You know what's gonna happen at the end of this? How does this end? With the police, I hope. Holy corn cow. Oh, it is corn. Nice. What's the transistor? It is. There it is. Just going to town clobbering this fella. I mean, how is everything inside, not outside with that going on. Is that his wife or is that a friend? I mean, who do you rely on for this kind of stuff? Oh, my God, that's. Am I wrong? Is that two and a half, three feet? Oh, yeah, it's two feet for sure. Let's see. But if you took him. Oh, my God. That just. When she goes all the way. It's more than two hands.

[Brady]

It might be inch in diameter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the diameter. Yeah, that's what I would say. It's like a. Those big chunky family style chunky soup cans. That's two feet.

[Brady]

That's two.

[Dick Toledo]

How easy.

[John Holmberg]

It's two feet. Yeah, yeah. And it's not a. It's not the Campbell's can, but it's the chunky soup diameter. Yeah.

[Brady]

And you can't. And the hand does not wrap around.

[John Holmberg]

No, not even close halfway. It's a woman's hand. But in fairness. Man, oh, man, oh, man. All right. And then we'll just end with this. Yeah. Real quick. I don't know what this is. Oh, we're too close to somebody's honeyhole here. And it's ground beef. I think it's got. Oh, is that a butt?

[Dick Toledo]

It's got.

[John Holmberg]

I believe those are. I think it's infection tags or those warts. There are a lot of skin tags. Oh, God. Oh, there's a woman eating it. I didn't know that was. Look at all the Butt sits. Oh, are those warts? I think those are warts. I think that's a wart outbreak right around the anus. And there's a lady enjoying it orally. Oh, God. Nope, that's a man. Now there's a fella making love to him. Oh, my God. It looked like the inside of a pomegranate. Oh, Lord.

[Brady]

It's an albino.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, look at it go. There's just a lot going wrong. Times like this. I wish there was an H. Are those hemorrhoids? That might be hemorrhoids. I don't know. Ass is just acting. That's hemorrhoids. Those are hemorrhoids. When we get up close, we now see, that is. Those are called piles. Okay. And the other guy and the butt acne. You know, the butt acne is unreal. He seems to be rallying up.

[Brady]

It's been a while for you, you said.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you know, what you got? We'll end on that. I mean, that's. That's the closer right there. Videos. Talking soft to him. So it's been a while for you, say? Yeah, the massive amount of piles is. It's really kind of gotten into my homosexual sex life. That's all right. That one, dude. Yeah. You've got. You've got hemorrhoids. Oh, I know. Oh, my Lord.

[Brady]

Yeah. One of the things to shrink up a little bit. It's been a while.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think they're shrunk up and shrunk up for me? I'll go in. All right. Yeah, I think I can take it. I think you're through the worst of it. I do like that he went down there and pleasured it for a second first. And a little foreplay with the hemorrhoids is always tickling with his tongue. I didn't know what it was. It looked like when you open up a fish gill that has all that.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Weird. It's almost like a Venus fly trap kind of looking thing. That's enough of that. Well, happy Monday, everybody. What a way to kick her off. Holy smokes. I'm gonna throw up. That was a rough one. That was the piles. Yeah. I don't want to go on anywhere. There goes your Brady report, everybody. It's 98. It's out of control now.