01-13-26 - BR - TUE - Maya Angelou Was First Black Female Cable Car Conductor In SF - New Gen Z Term Choppelganger Meaning You Look Like The Ugly Version of Someone Else

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode Date: January 13, 2026
Episode Theme: Comedy, Random News, Social Commentary, & Gen Z Lingo

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Overview

In this episode, the HMS crew—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—explores a hilarious range of topics spanning random trivia, generational slang, social inclusion in popular toys, and plenty of self-deprecating humor. They highlight Maya Angelou’s historic achievement, debate the new Gen Z term “choppelganger,” riff on diversity in Barbie dolls, and react to wild news stories with their trademark irreverence. Frequent bursts of nostalgia, good-natured roasting, and banter keep the show’s signature energetic, spontaneous tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Breakfast Banter & Popcorn Mishaps (00:00–01:26)

• The show kicks off with Toledo suffering from a popcorn hull stuck in his throat, setting a humorous tone.
• The crew jokes about breakfast choices, with Toledo lamenting:

  “How come popcorn in your hand is so, like, fragile, but in your throat it’s like barbed wire?” (01:12, Toledo)

National Rubber Ducky Day & CB Radio Nostalgia (01:27–03:36)

• It’s announced that it’s National Rubber Ducky Day.
• The crew reminisces about CB radios and “handles” from trucking culture, mentioning the film Convoy and iconic character names like Rubber Ducky, Widow Woman, and Road Toad.
• CB nostalgia leads to a riff on what their own handles would be, including one especially playful:

  “Young hot anus was another one that I tooled around.” (04:00, Toledo)

Fun Facts & Social Commentary

Maya Angelou’s Historic Role (03:37–05:38)

• The group notes Maya Angelou was the first Black woman cable car conductor in San Francisco.
• Delivers biting social commentary on racism and sexism in history:

  “We were so racist we didn’t trust black women to just ride on cars that were going one way… I can’t imagine being so racist that I wouldn’t trust somebody to just say, ‘Get in.’” (05:04–06:33, Toledo)

Alligators’ Winter Survival (06:59–07:37)

• Discusses pseudo-hibernation—alligators stick their snouts above frozen lakes to breathe.

  “We literally still have dinosaurs… That’s the weirdest thing.” (07:37, Toledo)

Changing American Family Statistics (07:44–08:06)

• 25% of US parents now unmarried, up from 7% sixty years ago.

Celebrity Trivia & Jokes (08:06–08:36)

• Frank Sinatra reportedly hired thugs to beat up Jackie Mason for jokes about his marriage; Mason’s response:

  “Frank Sinatra saved my life one night. He said, boys, that’s enough.” (08:23, recounted by Brett)

Breakup Foods by State (08:41–10:13)

• A viral list of “best breakup foods” includes:
  • Ohio & Indiana: Grilled cheese
  • Arizona: Potato chips
  • Illinois: Popcorn (crew jokes “Fat Pop” for extra-buttery, non-skinny version)

Gen Z Lingo: "Choppelganger" (10:28–12:39)

• Definition: Your choppelganger is someone who looks like you, but better; you’re the “ugly” version.
• Personal examples fly:
  • Toledo: “I’m the choppelganger to about 700 bald guys… I’m at baseline one, and everyone that sort of looks like me, I’m the uglier version.” (12:12, Toledo)
  • Brett claims Butterbean as his choppelganger, but jokes he’s better looking.

Who’s Whose Choppelganger? (12:39–15:56)

• The crew humorously debates celebrity lookalikes:
  • Brady: Andy Garcia
  • Toledo: Johnny Sins, sloth from Goonies, Adam Schefter, and “Easter Island monolith”
  • Brett: Butterbean, Jay from Jay & Silent Bob, Andy Reid
  • Rachel: Rachel Maddow, Richard Marx (“when you had your mullet going”)
• Brett bluntly claims:

  “You think you’re better looking than her? ... Yep.” (32:34, Brett on being choppelganger to a Korean female athlete)

New Diverse Barbie Dolls (19:23–24:57)

• Discussion of Mattel’s recent inclusive dolls:
  • Down Syndrome Barbie, Autistic Barbie, and Diabetic Barbie
  • Amused skepticism about the practicality and value:

    “So only kids who don’t have it should buy this?” (20:01, Rachel) “Can you kill her? ... If her diabetes doesn’t matter if it’s not life threatening!” (22:17, Toledo, about Diabetic Barbie)

• Satirical commentary on the ever-expanding attempts at representation:

  “If we're doing all this... mine’s follically challenged, huge broken nose Barbie. That’s dumb.” (28:31, Toledo)

Notable Social Stories (26:54–28:15)

• Ex-con buys old prison, turns it into re-entry workforce campus for 300 and job training.

  “He’s now the first former inmate to own a prison… house up to 300 people.” (26:54, Brett)

News Oddities (28:46–32:31)

• Man hospitalized after shoving a 7-inch sweet potato up his rectum; crewmates debate the “healing” folklore and express disgust.
• Florida woman arrested for stealing a coworker’s $60 Stanley cup; the cup was wanted to hold breast milk.

Self-Ranking and Beauty Standards (32:52–33:50)

• The team jokingly debates where they each fall on a global scale of attractiveness: upper half to high 50s, except only 3% are “good looking.”

  “Brady’s probably in the upper 70%. He’s a handsome man. Toledo’s closing in on that. Brady and I am pulling up the rear. Still in the upper 60s, high 50s.” (33:20–33:43, Toledo)

Wild Videos & Reactions (34:04–41:01)

• The hosts react to an escalating sequence of viral videos:
  • Medicine ball fitness challenges (34:04–34:55)
  • Hockey hit sends a player crashing onto the backup goalie (36:01–36:39)
  • Bizarre construction site accidents (36:43–37:32)
  • Shock video: “Little people” sex tape; crew fixates on the comical proportions and logistics, ending the segment in obsessed spectacle and laughter.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Racism & History:

  "I can’t imagine being so racist that I wouldn’t trust somebody to just say, ‘Get in.’" (06:33, Toledo)

• Gen Z Lingo Debate:

  "Choppelganger means you look like someone else... but an uglier version." (10:34, Brett) "I’m at baseline one... I’m the uglier version." (12:12, Toledo)

• On Inclusive Barbies:

  “Can’t you just make your regular Barbie—oh, she’s autistic?” (20:58, Toledo) “Mine’s follically challenged, huge broken nose Barbie. That’s dumb.” (28:31, Toledo)

• Regarding Odd Beauty Comparisons:

  “Brady’s rose-colored glasses work in mirrors too.” (18:45, listener text read aloud)

• Absurd News:

  “He took it to the next level, which is 7 inch long sweet potato.” (30:22, Brett)

• On the Viral Video:

  “He is literally a foot and a half tall. He’s an Oompa Loompa. Only little.” (38:40, Toledo)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:18–01:26 Popcorn mishaps & show kickoff
• 01:49–03:36 CB radio nostalgia & “handle” discussion
• 03:37–05:38 Maya Angelou’s story & historical racism
• 08:41–10:13 Breakup comfort foods by state
• 10:28–14:50 Gen Z “choppelganger” slang & lookalike banter
• 19:23–24:57 Diverse Barbies & representation debate
• 26:54–28:15 Former inmate buys prison—workforce program
• 28:46–29:47 Sweet potato medical emergency story
• 34:04–41:01 Fitness, hockey, shock & sex videos—hosts’ live reactions

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Episode Takeaways

• The show blends news, irreverent social commentary, and Gen X-to-Z pop culture in a rapid-fire, unscripted style.
• “Choppelganger” enters the lexicon for self-deprecating lookalike humor.
• The team questions the usefulness and motivation behind ultra-specific toys for diversity, sparking both laughs and sincere thoughts about inclusion.
• Absurd news stories serve as an ongoing source of incredulous humor and playful disgust.
• The episode keeps up a relentlessly comic style, mingling playful insults, cultural references, and sharp group banter—an on-brand morning for the HMS gang.

Transcript

[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Toledo]

I ain't going to make it.

[Brett]

You're in trouble.

[Toledo]

Hold on. I got a popcorn hall stuck somewhere between my nose and my throat. It's in the back of my. Just a little bit. It won't go away. That's right. We eat popcorn for breakfast here because my parents trained me that. That was a delightful breakfast.

[Brady]

That's cheap enough.

[Toledo]

I can't fix it anyway. I'll get through this if I can't.

[Brett]

That's why they serve it in Cus. Because you don't want to talk while it's popcorn.

[Toledo]

I don't know anything about that.

[Brett]

It fires down the throat.

[Toledo]

Don't want to breathe. That's for sure. The Waterloo's not helping.

[Brett]

The fizzy bubbly.

[Toledo]

I had the fizzy bubbly I thought would melt this thing. How come popcorn in your hand is so, like, fragile, but in your throat it's like barbed wire. You can't get like. You'd think that the liquids would just mush it down, but that weird little hull. Whose idea was it to buy popcorn?

[Brady]

Toledo bought last.

[Toledo]

Just have Laffy Taffy as snacks and ruin our life.

[Brett]

Good.

[Toledo]

It is pretty good. Thanks to the folks over at Skinny Pop for killing me this morning. It's all organic. You can tell because it says so. It's time now for Brady to do Brady. It's on you to do the Sorry Brady Report, brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade. They make shade. Ask them about it. AllProChade.com Brady Report it.

[Brett]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National Rubber Ducky Day. And public radio broadcasting.

[Toledo]

TV or.

[Brett]

No, the real one.

[Toledo]

The ones in the Ernie Bathtub, Rubber.

[Brett]

Ducky or in the dash of your Jeep.

[Toledo]

Yeah, loads of those.

[Brady]

Yeah. Not Kris Kristofferson.

[Toledo]

Not that. All right, get on. Get your ears on. Rubber Ducky. Have you ever seen the movie Convoy?

[Brady]

That's horrible.

[Toledo]

I think I have. I started thinking about it.

[Brett]

Was. Was he Rubber Ducky?

[Toledo]

Yeah, he was Rubber Ducky, right.

[Brady]

Burt Young was in it.

[Toledo]

That's right. I remember. Got arrested.

[Brady]

Oh, that was. Who was the sheriff? Was it Ernest Borgnine?

[Toledo]

I was gonna say Eli. Eli Wallach, but that's not right. It might be Ernest Borgnine, but I. I don't think I've ever seen it, like, start to finish. I think I've seen so much of Convoy, the crap movie from the 70s, that I think I've seen away.

[Brett]

What were some other handles? Do you remember? Like.

[Toledo]

I don't remember any. I just remember rubber ducky because that's in the song.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's. Yeah. Ursborg 9. Bert Young.

[Toledo]

That was the sheriff.

[Brady]

Widow woman was one of the spider Mike was one. When I don't know this off the top of my head, I'm looking it up. A lizard tongue was another handle.

[Toledo]

Got to earn that.

[Brady]

Yeah. White rat.

[Toledo]

Well, that's just. There's pack rats. Not to be confused with.

[Brett]

There's some good CB talk in there.

[Brady]

No kidding.

[Toledo]

I have a CB in my white jeep for four wheeling. Tried to get that going for a little while. It's just. There's nobody on those anymore. It's just drug deals.

[Brett]

You're kind of young. What was your handle?

[Toledo]

Well, I had multiples.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I was Elton John Bunny. My aunt gave me that and I thought it was funny because I had sunglasses that had rabbits on them. She said I look like Elton John with rabbits in my face. Elton John Bunny. And then the other one was JD JD10. And then there was a road toad. That was you? Yeah, I had another one.

[Brett]

Was like looking for a southbounder Road toad.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Young hot anus was another one that I. I tooled around.

[Brett]

Sailor boy.

[Toledo]

Hot sailor child. It's a child. Buster Brown. Cracker Jack, I think was another one.

[Brett]

Busfield gold.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Bust. Yeah. Bus field's mine up for anything. 6 9. I think I remember. I remember what that. That might be an email.

[Brett]

You got Casey's attic toy.

[Toledo]

Got your ears on. This is Gacy's Bunny. What?

[Brett]

Couple of basis fun facts. Maya Angelou was the first black woman in San Francisco to be employed as a streetcar conductor.

[Toledo]

No kidding.

[Brett]

Alligators go through a pseudo hibernation in the winter.

[Toledo]

We were so racist. We didn't trust black women to just ride on cars that were going one way. I know, but it's like you're only. It only like it didn't need A.

[Brett]

Person needs to be strong enough.

[Toledo]

Yeah. We were so racist.

[Brett]

Yes.

[Toledo]

That we wouldn't let a black lady put the uniform on and say all aboard. Because that's.

[Brett]

Could have been the men too. They just didn't want her on there.

[Toledo]

Yeah, well, I mean she had the double whammy back in the her day, but. All right, we're gonna take a chance here and hire a African American woman. I'm sure that's. To do what? Stand on that train and say everybody on. Everybody off a trot. One of our trolleys will have a black lady telling us what to do. What's this world coming to?

[Brett]

She's taking a man's job.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but there were white women doing it or we wouldn't say otherwise. We just say she was the first woman. She also happened to be.

[Brett]

True. Yeah.

[Toledo]

We didn't trust a black woman to just say, next stop right there. It only goes one place. A streetcar. Right. Those are the ones on trails or on the tracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Rice a Roni.

[Brady]

That billboards.

[Toledo]

All I remember. That's all I remember him from is Rice a Roni stuff. Those people were so excited about Rice. And they just went up the hill and there was a conductor.

[Brett]

It went down too.

[Toledo]

Oh, sure. They had to go get him again. That is baffling to me. I don't. You know, I'm a bigot, I admit that. But that's towards all races and genders, all 101 of them. But I can't imagine being so racist that I wouldn't trust somebody to just say, get in.

[Brady]

I think it's more of the woman thing.

[Toledo]

Well, there's a lot of that that didn't matter. But again, I don't think I've ever been that distrusting of a woman to say that. That's. That seems about right. Like, even if I hated them in the 70s, I'm like, they can't do anything. You think she could stand on the edge of this thing and get everybody in and out? Even a woman can do that. That would 60s they'd have said that. Even a woman can do that. That's crazy.

[Brett]

Alligators go through a pseudo hibernation in the winter and they keep their noses above the surface of the water. So it freezes over, they can still breathe. Have you ever seen it? There's pictures that you see. There will be a lake and freeze over and you'll just see the.

[Toledo]

The gator snout just poking out the top.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I've avoided that my whole life. And I'm going to keep doing it.

[Brett]

I've only seen the pictures. I've never gone like to a leg. I'm like, holy. And that can't happen too often. But they have the ability because they're not. Every now and then, Florida, there's a freeze.

[Toledo]

They're dinosaurs.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

We literally still have dinosaurs. It's the weirdest thing that we don't make a bigger deal out of that. But Those are dinosaurs.

[Brett]

25% of the US parents are unmarried. That's not a huge change from 30 years ago. It was 21%, but it's a massive increase from 60 years ago. It was just 7%.

[Toledo]

Unmarried documents weren't as good. You could hide stuff easier. You just gave birth in a barn.

[Brett]

Brett, you'll like this one. Frank Sinatra supposedly hired thugs to beat up comedian Jackie Mason for making fun of him for marrying Mia Farrow, who was 30 years younger. After Mason had his face wired back together, he kept making jokes. He'd say, frank Sinatra saved my life one night. He said, boys, that's enough.

[Brady]

That's funny.

[Toledo]

That's a great joke. I wish you to beat him up again when he did Caddyshack, too.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

This website, lovelifeacademy.com made a list together of the best breakup foods in every state.

[Toledo]

There's breakup foods?

[Brett]

Yeah. When you break up, if you've been broken up, what food do you go to for a cup? You know, comfort food.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[Brett]

So in Arizona, our comfort food was. Well, let's see. Let's go Ohio first. Ohio and Indiana was grilled cheese.

[Toledo]

You break up and you eat grilled cheese. Did they just interview one guy? Because I think I know who might have been grilled cheese. Good. After breakup. This is good. It's good during a relationship and before a relationship.

[Brett]

Also.

[Toledo]

By the way, somebody.

[Brett]

Arizona's potato chips.

[Toledo]

Sure. Just a bag of chips after somebody dumps you. So this guy said, would you trust Megan to drive a trolley? It's a lot safer than driving a car.

[Brady]

Still gotta control the speed and everything else, too, which he's not gonna go fast.

[Toledo]

No, totally. She'd be the safest one. She's off the rails in a vehicle.

[Brett]

Montana's chicken noodle soup.

[Toledo]

That's breakup. I've never.

[Brady]

That's Illinois.

[Toledo]

Like, breakup.

[Brett]

I'm looking.

[Toledo]

Most time when you break up, you don't eat right. You end up, like, just being depressed and not eating. I guess I'm talking to Brady about that. It doesn't make sense.

[Brett]

Popcorn. Illinois. Skinny pop.

[Brady]

Hell, not in Illinois. It's not skinny pop.

[Toledo]

No, it's not.

[Brady]

That's full butter.

[Toledo]

That's. That's full butter. I actually call it fat pop. 98. What?

[Brett]

98.

[Toledo]

No way. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

Gen zers have a new term. It's going around. Chapel ganger.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[Brett]

Means you look like someone else. So you're like a doppelganger, but an uglier version.

[Toledo]

Oh, like me with Johnny Sins. I'm his chapel ganger. He's the I say that about guy. I'm like that's the handsome me. I consider myself a chapel ganger to about 700 bald guys. I've been a chapel ganger to tons of people. Who are you? A chapel ganger. Who are you? You look like him, but he's Butterbean. You think he's the better version of you?

[Brett]

No, no, no. I'm the uglier version.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah. You think Butterbeans are better?

[Brett]

No, I'm a better version of that.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Let's see.

[Toledo]

That would mean. Hold on, Brady. Brad, stop. That would mean. Yeah, that would mean that. You think Butterbean is your chapel ganger.

[Brett]

Doppelganger. No, he'd be more of a doppelganger.

[Toledo]

You think you're even?

[Brett]

No, but I've. People have, over the years, said, hey, Butterbean, let's just mean I just saw you.

[Toledo]

I'm asking you, in your opinion because you just said you're better looking than Butterbean. Yeah. Does that make him your chapel ganger?

[Brett]

Yes.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

That's big of you to say that. That you're better than that man by quite a bit. A lot. You said that? Yes, you did.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

[Toledo]

You're better than him. Better looking.

[Brett]

Better looking.

[Toledo]

You don't know that, man.

[Rachel]

You'd rip out a transmission as fast as you go into reverse.

[Toledo]

So true. Yeah. I'm surprised the whole block hasn't fallen out of them.

[Brett]

Sorry.

[Toledo]

Had to throw it in park while we were moving.

[Brett]

Sometimes you just got to be decisive.

[Toledo]

That's you, my friend. You are one of those guys. Yeah. I've got like, 20 that I'm the chapel ganger of, and no one's my chapel ganger because I'm the lowest of the low. So I'm. I'm at baseline one, and everyone that sort of looks like me, I'm the uglier version of that. So I would say.

[Rachel]

So I'm confused. So this. They're the chapel.

[Toledo]

I'm their chapel gang.

[Brett]

You are.

[Toledo]

It's. They're the handsome me. And there's no going beneath this scale.

[Rachel]

The chapel ganger is at the bottom.

[Toledo]

It's. Well, it's. You're just the uglier. Like, I don't know who you think you look like. Who do people tell you you look like? Easter island monolith.

[Brett]

Yep. There you go.

[Toledo]

You would be their chop.

[Rachel]

Say those things are better looking.

[Toledo]

Then you're the monolith. Chopel G. People say you look like.

[Brady]

I get Andy Garcia.

[Toledo]

You're the chapel ganger of Andy Garcia. Because he's the handsome you.

[Brett]

Yeah. And Brady Butterbean Jay and Silent Bob.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah. Dante from. From clerk.

[Brady]

I think he's my chapel ganger. In that.

[Toledo]

I think. In that. I think you're better looking than him. Johnny Sins is without quite. There was a guy, my friend Jordan, brought his brother to a son's game and. And he says to me, you get kind of a Johnny Sins vibe, only not. And I'm like, it's exactly. You're exactly right. Everything about him is a little bit better than me. And I can accept that. It's just nice to be in the. You know, it's like nice to be nominated.

[Brett]

The first autistic Barbie, by the way.

[Toledo]

Hold on. Who does he look like? Who does Toledo look like? We've never even noticed that. You don't look like anyone.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Toledo]

You're just kind of.

[Rachel]

When the only thing. Like when I was young, like, really young, and Richard Marks was coming around.

[Toledo]

I had longer Richard Marks.

[Rachel]

I'm just saying.

[Brady]

Got an old picture with the hair.

[Toledo]

Hold on to the Knights. Richard Marks.

[Rachel]

Let me see if I can find your own.

[Brett]

When you had your mullet going.

[Rachel]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Did your sister date the guitar player from Richard?

[Toledo]

Drummer. Studio drummer.

[Rachel]

Yeah, the studio drummer.

[Toledo]

The studio traveling on the second one. Let's hold on to the night. What was the first one? He had two big.

[Rachel]

Don't Mean Nothing was the. Was his first hit.

[Toledo]

Don't Mean Nothing.

[Brady]

Donovan said Toledo is a chapel ganger of Rachel. Raiders. Rachel Maddox.

[Toledo]

Rachel Maddow. Who's Rachel Maddox?

[Rachel]

Maybe that's somebody else.

[Toledo]

Oh, Rachel Maddow. You are kind of the Rachel Maddox. I can see that. She's the better version of you. Gotta put you on something. You don't look like anyone.

[Brady]

See the long hair? You got it.

[Rachel]

I'm trying to find one.

[Toledo]

Richard Marks. Didn't he have go through my dark long hair?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Darker.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I don't see it.

[Rachel]

Let me see you pull up a picture of Richard Marks first from like 80 or from like 91, maybe for a little while.

[Toledo]

You look like Adam Schefter, the NFL Insider.

[Brett]

There you go.

[Toledo]

But not now.

[Rachel]

No, Chapel.

[Brett]

That was.

[Rachel]

That was going around when we were in Tampa.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but then you stood next to him, and I'm like, no.

[Rachel]

Yep.

[Toledo]

It's. I just thought you looked like him. And then we. You don't. Andy Garcia is a good one for Brett.

[Brady]

Yeah, I've heard that a few times.

[Toledo]

Mine is both Johnny Sins and the sloth from the Goonies.

[Brett]

You know, else Is a Chapel gang of mine. Andy Reid.

[Brady]

That's true.

[Toledo]

Now hold on. Which one do you think's better there?

[Rachel]

Which one? They're all better there.

[Toledo]

No, no. Andy. Andy. You think he's the uglier version?

[Brady]

You do?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Okay, well, we can't get them all.

[Brady]

Right.

[Rachel]

A thousand on that.

[Toledo]

You and Andy Reid have similarities. That is true. I'm not sure which of you I'd rather be. And I think that's what determines the Chapel gang. Or at least physically.

[Rachel]

Oh, okay. I was gonna say, you know which.

[Toledo]

One I'd rather be in real life. Like if I could swap by. If I could Freaky Friday with either Brady read.

[Brady]

Oh, this one just came.

[Toledo]

Brady's going to be fine without me. Oh, there's Butterbean and Brady.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's.

[Toledo]

I didn't realize that. Now you think you are his superior, according to you.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

It's a toss up.

[Brett]

Well, that's his. That's the best. He's looking right there.

[Toledo]

Which one is he again? I can't tell the side by side of you and Butterbean.

[Rachel]

Oh, it's the HMS logo. That's the one that gets it.

[Toledo]

He looks to be in better shape than Butterbean's ever been in. In that photo, he's actually got definition in his pectorals.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's his prime in fighting.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Right there.

[Toledo]

So right there you're the chapel ganger. Yeah. In that picture. I think maybe that's the beans. I think the bean wins. If we went to the mall.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And said, ladies, which one then that determines if you're a chapel.

[Brett]

Yeah. Like go to Butterbee.

[Toledo]

This one says, I think Toledo looks like Tom Arnold.

[Rachel]

Okay. There's my senior picture.

[Toledo]

That is Richard Marks looking at Toledo's senior picture. Oh, my God.

[Brett]

There is. There's.

[Toledo]

Were you working at TGI Fridays? What's with the shirt?

[Rachel]

That was cool at the time, like you said. I think it was like our one store in town was the Bon Marche.

[Toledo]

I don't know what that means.

[Rachel]

Macy's now.

[Toledo]

Oh, a lot of. Lot of denim on you in the kids.

[Brett]

That is totally stranger things.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Right there.

[Toledo]

It's a good look.

[Rachel]

Yeah, I'm bringing it back.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Was that done at all in Mills?

[Rachel]

I don't remember.

[Toledo]

The local photo outside his dad's house.

[Rachel]

His backyard had like a wagon wheel and a stage coach in it.

[Toledo]

Montana. You all do.

[Brady]

Well, this. This. This one came through too for you, Rachel, Matt.

[Toledo]

And that's pretty good. Too's got the same Hair y Rachel mad. I can see that says Toledo. I'll be here. Chapel Ganger said, honestly, Toledo resembles the murderer that killed the dentist and his wife in Columbus, Ohio. I haven't seen that guy yet. Toledo doesn't really have one. Keith Jardine and I the fighter.

[Rachel]

That's tough call.

[Toledo]

That's a tough call. One of us is uglier than the other and it's hard to determine because we're both so insanely ugly. Yeah. That was you and Adam Schefter. I thought you guys looked alike till you were next to each other and I realized that your head is the size of a semi truck. And he's a normal man.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

And he's also very tiny.

[Toledo]

He is short.

[Brady]

Christopher said, so Brady's rose colored glasses work in mirrors too.

[Toledo]

Yeah. He stared at. That's a tough day though. You got to give Brady credit for tolerating that. To look at a picture of you side by side to Butterbean and go, I don't know who's better. That's a tough look. I'm well into my admission of ugliness. I'm not sure Brady is there yet.

[Brady]

Well, wasn't he a seven when he.

[Toledo]

Gave himself a seven when we first started asking.

[Brett]

Might have bumped up now he said.

[Rachel]

Seven and a half.

[Toledo]

It's like Dale has that same thing. And his. He's the Chapel Ganger of Frankenstein.

[Brady]

That picture, that silhouette. The we posted horrified. Yeah.

[Brett]

So the first autistic Barbie just rolled out. She's part of the diversity and inclusion campaign Mattel launched a few years ago. They released first the Barbie Down Syndrome 2023. And now there's also a Barbie with type 1 diabetes.

[Toledo]

There is. You got to give her insulin every. Every day.

[Brett]

I don't know about that.

[Toledo]

You teach her how to do intravenous needle use.

[Brett]

He's tired sometimes.

[Toledo]

I guess that's subcutaneous. The. It's for diversity. So only kids who don't have it should buy this.

[Rachel]

That's what I don't understand.

[Brett]

This Barbie cusses too. You put.

[Rachel]

No, but Tourette's. But wait, if it's for diversity, shouldn't it be for.

[Toledo]

Yeah, it's not for the kids who are neurodivergent. They can't have it. They have to have a normal one.

[Rachel]

It's for normal kids to include them.

[Toledo]

Right. That's not what normal kids are gonna do that. And you say it avoids eye contact.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Toledo]

It has like a big.

[Brett]

There is a video of the first Autistic Barbie that just rolled out. But I.

[Rachel]

What a video going me.

[Brett]

What?

[Toledo]

Well, maybe I read.

[Brett]

I don't think the Barbie's talking.

[Toledo]

No, it's just a Barbie doll that neurodivergent or autistic. And aren't there like wild levels of that?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yes.

[Toledo]

What?

[Brett]

98.

[Toledo]

No way. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Rachel]

But also isn't it like the elf on the shelf? It is what you say it is.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Can't you just make your regular Barbie? Oh, she's autistic.

[Brady]

Really?

[Toledo]

She's low on the spectrum, but she's got it. She's adhd. ADHD Barbie. So it doesn't move. She's also comatose Barbie. If you want to just put. She's also Nathan Sutherland's girlfriend. If you turn her over. How strange is that? And it's for diversity, which basically means all the kids who have autism will have the autism doll and there will be no diversity. Everyone will have it. Is it a celebration of autism?

[Brett]

They can have the original Barbies, right?

[Toledo]

Yeah, but can't you make like Toledo said, Can't you just make that.

[Rachel]

Can't just say it is whatever it is, whatever you want it to be.

[Toledo]

Look, if I told my.

[Rachel]

Isn't that their point?

[Brett]

Yeah, but you can't make money on that.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but it's true. But if you just told it. Yeah, but you'd still have to buy a Barbie. Go. This one's got loads of Asperger's. Like no kidding.

[Rachel]

They're making all the money.

[Toledo]

Like who's gonna question that your Barbie has Asperger's.

[Brett]

Let alone creating that and then not getting catching any flack for the design.

[Toledo]

What she look like? Does she have.

[Brett]

Yeah, because I haven't fish eyes seen down syndrome Barbie either.

[Toledo]

Oh man, that would. Does she have a thick ass?

[Brett]

And then it's type 1 diabetes.

[Toledo]

She's just thicker or skinny. Super skinny.

[Brett]

Skinny has a little side thing on the.

[Toledo]

Can you kill her?

[Brett]

Little.

[Toledo]

She got a port plug in.

[Brett]

Yeah, port.

[Toledo]

Can you kill Hatch. Diabetic Barbie?

[Rachel]

The ports are now on the back of their arms though.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but so what can you kill her? Because then her diabetes doesn't matter if it's not life threatening.

[Rachel]

True. Yeah.

[Toledo]

You got a few.

[Brett]

Well, when she goes to the parties, you know when you have the doll party great.

[Toledo]

You got to have sugar free jello gluten sucks. Can you just tear her legs off like I used to do to Barbies? I mean they still are.

[Brett]

Maybe they come off easy. Oh, yeah. So.

[Toledo]

But the diabetic ones scream.

[Brett]

I guess maybe they just turn color.

[Toledo]

Does she look more like Wilford Brimley? Is that the diabetic Barbie? I think that's really strange that we consider that diversity. A chunk of plastic that's got autism. I understand the skin color one. That makes sense to me. Yeah, absolutely. That to me is like, oh, like why do Barbies all look like that? If I was black, does that make sense?

[Brett]

But jaundice Barbie.

[Toledo]

But like down syndrome kids even know like there's a reason these that like the doll shouldn't have it. Like it's good. Good. I'm glad that doll doesn't have this like down syndrome kids aren't rooting for their toys to be too, are they? She's ripped down syndrome Barbie.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Is she short, squatty?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Thick ass? Strong? She can throw Ken across the room. Do they make.

[Brett]

Doesn't say.

[Toledo]

Interesting.

[Brett]

It's Barbie.

[Toledo]

They only screw with the chromosomes of Barbie.

[Brett]

You gotta match it up. Gotta have. Yeah.

[Toledo]

You gotta have life on the spectrum. Doll dating.

[Brady]

Diabetic Barbie is missing a foot.

[Toledo]

Their toes are green. I wonder if you don't get her her insulin if her feet start like turning colors. What's the. Don't know.

[Brett]

What is the. Yeah, what is the. Maybe some education. But you'd have to read about that because the. The dolls really.

[Rachel]

Okay. What you make them gives her. It gives her a set of headphones which a lot of neurodivergence have to.

[Brady]

Got some beats on.

[Toledo]

And she just taps her ears the whole time.

[Rachel]

You've seen them.

[Toledo]

She's still hot though. And now she's a little bit slow. She looks fine. She's put headphones on a Barbie.

[Rachel]

She's got a screen.

[Toledo]

Of course he's got her screen. And she just wants to ignore you. Barbie wants to be in her own space. That's dumb. Did they have that in the Barbie movie? They didn't have a special one today. I don't remember.

[Rachel]

It wasn't America Fiera, The. The Big girl.

[Brett]

Would you call her the.

[Rachel]

Didn't Barbie have a big.

[Toledo]

Put it on me.

[Rachel]

No, no, no. You knew all like all the different Fat Barbie.

[Toledo]

They have a name for her. Fat Barbie. I thought they had a name for her International Barbie.

[Rachel]

Bigger Barbie. Because it was all about inclusion again.

[Toledo]

Big Bone Barbie.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Toledo]

They don't make a plus special. Ken.

[Rachel]

Says Lego also sells a variety of minifigures with non visible disabilities.

[Toledo]

It is what you want. Money. They're stealing money.

[Rachel]

It is what you want it to be.

[Toledo]

And wouldn't your kid with diabetes like, not want his doll to have it? Like, you hear, it's just like you. It's like, oh, poor bastard.

[Rachel]

Listen to this. The guy who's the chief executive of Ambitious about Autism charity says, you know, theoretically any Barbie can be reimagined as autistic because autism doesn't have one look. But representation is powerful and Barbie is an iconic toy. So he hoped many autistic children feel pride at seeing some of their experiences reflected in this new.

[Toledo]

So wouldn't that be like molested by my uncle? Barbie would be relatable to some of them.

[Rachel]

You can. It could be what you want it to be.

[Brett]

John.

[Rachel]

The Timothy. Timothy Busfield doll.

[Toledo]

I worked with Timothy Busfield Barbie. She cries when you tickle her.

[Brett]

Child actor.

[Toledo]

I have lots of triggers. Barbie. Evit Barbie. Yeah. Not that racist.

[Brady]

Barbie found Brady.

[Toledo]

Well, that's AI though. Oh, he made Brady AIed Brady and Butterbean together. Look at, look at the lack of genitals and how tight those shorts are.

[Rachel]

Which looks like the Bogarine.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that is a hot vagina. That. Those are too tight in the center. Interesting. Chapel gangers.

[Brett]

This is kind of cool. An ex con named Kerwin Pittman runs a charity that helps inmates ease back into society and get jobs. He's now the first former inmate to own a prison. He bought an abandoned jail in North Carolina and he's turning into a workforce. Campus can house up to 300 people. You need a place to live where they get out and they learn job skills. He'll fill the 300 beds and then they'll live there and they'll train and learn to be plumbers. AC work.

[Toledo]

That's good.

[Brett]

It's a six month program and they get out and they get placed into jobs. Keep them busy and he rolls them over again. So another 300 come in, get trained for six months. It's a pretty cool idea.

[Toledo]

Eric. Brian from Precision. Yeah. New AC unit. And. Well, that's Bodhi. But he goes to the prisons and tells him, guys, get on this and you get a second chance. You gotta come out with that skill.

[Rachel]

Do they do that here in Arizona in the prisons?

[Toledo]

They do, yeah. They teach you all sorts of stuff.

[Rachel]

Workforce training. John, you realize Brady's already had a Barbie. It was called Oregon Barbie. Short hair, plaid, flannel and a Subaru Outback.

[Toledo]

Maybe that's his chapel ganger.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

They have lesbian Barbie. Do they have going through gender questions Barbie, Transition Barbie. Yeah. Trans. Trans Barbie. If we're doing all this like gender.

[Rachel]

Fluid Barbie as I think you're talking about.

[Brady]

All right.

[Brett]

Boy, you could have 80 of them.

[Toledo]

You could have tons. Everybody represents something. So we all going to have our own Barbie. Like mine's follically challenged huge broken nose Barbie. Yeah, that's dumb.

[Brett]

We got a guy that had to go into the hospital, get a little emergency surgery. He had a 7 inch sweet potato lodging his butt. It was up too deep. They had to go through his gut.

[Toledo]

I'll say is too deep. But if you had to go through the center, he pushed. How? That thing just kept climbing.

[Brett]

Yeah, it went up a foot or so.

[Toledo]

Man, that's weird. You put things in there and they don't come out. And it's the whole point of that spot, let everything out. But if you stuff things in there, it just goes, all right, we're in reverse and that's your fault, so live with it.

[Brett]

One of the statements that had to put out this happened in England. But doctors in the UK once had to warn people to ignore the old wives tale that shoving a frozen potato up your bum cures hemorrhoids.

[Toledo]

I've never heard that.

[Brett]

Files. They said piles.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I like them called hemorrhoids. I don't like piles.

[Brett]

One website falsely claimed insert a frozen potato in your ass. Yeah, frozen. This one says insert a frozen potato, slice in your anus and leave it inside for 30 seconds. Repeat the process for three to five days and what happens?

[Toledo]

Your hemorrhoids go away. So instead of buying Preparation H or something, you slice a thinly sliced potato and then use it like a tux pad.

[Brett]

Yep. And dose it.

[Brady]

You're not jamming a whole potato up here. All right.

[Toledo]

Yeah, okay.

[Brady]

That's what I thought. I was like, no, I'll take the hemorrhoids.

[Brett]

He took it to the next level which is 7 inch long sweet potato.

[Toledo]

He must have had terrible. And then when you're done with the yam, you're done with it. You got a delicious potato in it.

[Brett]

Come on.

[Toledo]

Stop it.

[Brett]

Got a 29 year old woman in Florida, Ariana Moss. She was arrested on a misdemeanor charge after she allegedly stole a co worker's 40 ounce Stanley Cup. Light blue Stanley cup. It was a $60 in value.

[Toledo]

What?

[Brett]

98.

[Toledo]

No way. Homeberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

Ariana was caught on camera eyeing the cup, hiding it in her lunchbox and leaving with it. It was. She said it was an accident, but she knew it belonged to a 20 year old 22 year old co worker. She'd even talked about it before. Co worker said Ariana once pointed to the cup, said this cup would be great to hold my breast milk.

[Toledo]

Ew.

[Brett]

She sent. Since quit her job as a supervisor, it's unclear if the Stanley cup was returned and if the co worker is willing to drink from it again.

[Toledo]

Never.

[Brett]

This picture of Ariana.

[Toledo]

Oh, she's pretty good. She was shooting breast milk at people.

[Brett]

Well, she was talking about she got issues.

[Toledo]

She never actually did it.

[Brett]

No. Okay, well, she took that one home. Yeah.

[Toledo]

You can't be a supervisor anymore if you think that.

[Brett]

Well, she decided, you know, time to change jobs up. It's a little uncomfortable in the workplace.

[Toledo]

Somebody said, did your mom Toledo give you a Ken doll? And say he's a bastard too. Bastard Ken would be awesome. Like just his head's down a little bit.

[Rachel]

No, that one never happened.

[Toledo]

You just. You never have a doll.

[Brett]

Should have.

[Rachel]

Yeah. Texters are also saying, hey guys, don't forget the best chapel ganger.

[Toledo]

Oh yeah, that Korean Envy Park. Yeah, that's pretty. Now again, let's go side by side with Brady in in B. I think we did that.

[Brett]

She's my chapel ganger.

[Toledo]

You think you're better looking than her?

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[Toledo]

Is it cuz she's Asian?

[Brett]

Yep.

[Toledo]

There it is. That's what I like to hear. So essentially by that logic, there isn't one Asian better looking than you. The planet. Yes, I agree. You're better looking than 3 billion people. That's a good run.

[Rachel]

Own it.

[Toledo]

How do you. Where do you think you stand in that? I wonder where I would stand of the 7 billion people. Rank yourself.

[Brett]

Upper half.

[Toledo]

You think he's upper half? Yeah. I mean you've been to Thailand.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Mid range.

[Rachel]

Cambodia, where there doesn't seem to be a lot of active dentists.

[Toledo]

I can be honest. I think I'm actually. All of us. I'm going to put us all there. Brett's probably in the upper 70%. He's a handsome man. Toledo's closing in on that Brady and I'm pulling up the rear. Still in the upper 60s, high 50s. We're in half of the world is horrendous looking. In America though, I think I'd be in the middle.

[Brett]

Mid range.

[Toledo]

I think in America.

[Rachel]

No.

[Toledo]

You don't think so?

[Rachel]

I think all four of us are upper half in America.

[Toledo]

And again, only like 3% of the population is good looking. Yeah, I know I'm not in that. Anyway, I've got one brand new video, Chapel ganger. In B Park.

[Brett]

This is a pretty good fitness challenge.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[Brett]

Between two women. Should be fun to do.

[Toledo]

Right? They're throwing a medicine ball over you.

[Brett]

Throw it over the wall, Do a push up, throw it back.

[Toledo]

Yeah. That's what's going on right now. One of them's gonna get smashed. It's getting. The medicine ball's getting heavier and the push ups are getting harder.

[Brett]

Who you going with?

[Toledo]

I'm going with the one in black.

[Brady]

She's gonna get hit.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I think so too. She's getting faced by a medicine ball.

[Brett]

She's out.

[Toledo]

That's a fun game.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

You do a squat and you push the ball over the hill or over the barrier. And then after the ball leaves your hands, you drop and do a push up. The girl in the black is crushing.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

The other one's cuter if that's worth anything to her. But she takes it right in the face, so to speak.

[Brady]

That's a good one.

[Toledo]

So to speak. There it is. Oh, that's one of them 20 pound medicine balls, too. They're not messing around.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that's a big boy.

[Toledo]

I watched. There's a park on Indian School next to the Arizona Falls is just the canal, kind of.

[Brett]

It's beautiful.

[Toledo]

It's a nice place, But I ride my bike there sometimes. And there's a group of dudes that all look like James Harrison playing volleyball with medicine balls. It's the most amazing crap you've ever seen. Like, it makes you feel worthless as a human being. They're all huge and they've got like. Then they're throwing these medicine. These gigantic medicine balls back and forth. It's. And they're all oiled up. I think they're gay, but it's like they're going to. It's. There's no way I'd want to oil up and hang out with dudes if I looked like that. Be oiled up and looking for chicks. Unless I wanted to bang the fellas. But there's like 12 of them, and they are like, I'll oil up with you and we'll throw balls at each other's faces. And they do it. No women are watching either, which I found out.

[Brady]

I figured play volleyball with Goose and Maverick.

[Toledo]

Yeah, it's that. It's the playing with the boys scene in Top Gun where they're all oiled up and yolks version. They're huge, though. It's kind of fun to watch. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brady]

I'm light today, but we'll Just get through a few of these. All right. Some hockey for you. Dude hit him so hard he took out the backup goalie.

[Toledo]

What? Oh, he hits it. Oh, my God, it's Russia. He checks a dude into the bench and the guy lands on the goalie for the other team who's just sitting on the bench and kills. And the guy gets right back up and climbs back out onto the ice. That's awesome. That's a great hit.

[Brady]

Here's some. I'll just let you watch it.

[Toledo]

Some metal core.

[Brady]

Metal core music for you.

[Toledo]

Okay. There's kids sitting on a pier leaping into the. Oh. And he. That's his head hitting the bar on the pier. And a guy decided to start a song with it.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Toledo]

That's awesome. Wow. He tries to do a little hop off the pier into the ocean and hits his head.

[Brady]

Here's one of those construction videos that we obviously.

[Toledo]

Oh, boy. It's a safety video for. Okay, we've got a backhoe of some sort. Oh, my God. They're swinging around.

[Brady]

But wait, let's.

[Brett]

That just mirrors him. Oh, yeah, that's severed.

[Toledo]

It cuts a guy in half.

[Brett]

As and a half.

[Toledo]

Yeah. It turns the. I don't know what kind of machine that was, but it's got a 360 degrees cabin. And now there's a dude stuck under it. Oh, wow.

[Brady]

For no reason whatsoever. How about sex?

[Brett]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Little people getting it done. The girl is sucking her finger while. Oh, that is a little fella. Wow. That's a real woman. And what is that? I don't know. It's a gremlin. That's Marvin the Martian life foot and a half tall. That was wild. It's Coha again. I don't know what she's saying, but you Spanish people are probably enjoying the hell out of that. He's so little. Once it reveals him. Oh, we've got to put this on the Internet. This needs to. He is the size of one of her butt cheeks. Yeah. Poppy is the thing with them. And you don't know what's behind her until now. It is Coha.

[Brett]

That is Joy Cohaagen.

[Toledo]

Give him the air. Cohaagen. What are you doing? It's that thing from Tel recall growing out of that guy. It's him. I don't know what she's saying. I'm sorry. I apologize to everybody. I don't know what that is. It can't be good.

[Brady]

That's all we got today.

[Toledo]

He is literally a foot and a half tall. He's an Oompa Loompa. Only little.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And she's a full size woman. And he's getting her from behind on a little footstool. Show me that again. I've never seen anything like this. Midget sex is one thing. This is like Guinness Book stuff. This dude is tiny. Look at his little feet.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

These little socks.

[Brady]

Oh, I missed that.

[Toledo]

Yeah. To go back and look at his little socks in the beginning. They're there, right there. Look at down there, that little tiny stuff. He kept his socks on. That's adorable. Little hands on her butt. He's adorable. I want one. I want one of those.

[Brady]

There he goes. I like when he wipes his brow.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Oh, he wipes the sweat off. He's working, so he's going up.

[Brett]

No hands.

[Toledo]

Well, he's like a hummingbird. That. That heart has to be going crazy now, wiping that brow. Yeah. Poppy's getting it done. He's the size of my dick, but still getting it done with a lady. Good for you. Excellent work.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Toledo]

That's the weirdest one I've seen in a while, and I really liked it. We can't put that up on the Internet.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Are you sure?

[Toledo]

What about just a picture of him?

[Rachel]

Maybe if it's cropped the right way.

[Toledo]

You could do it. Do you think in his head.

[Brett]

I'd like to ask Elon Musk about this stuff.

[Toledo]

Is this gonna go away?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

No. But you'll have access to all of it.

[Brett]

You can have Poppy here. Yeah.

[Toledo]

If you want to have a. And for fun, I might do that. Like, I would like a One Foot. Bring Poppy in to peg me. Who cares? Like I don't have anything to worry about anymore when AI takes over everything. Bring over that one foot, man. I want to watch that. All right, get in there. Do you think deep down he knows she's faking? Or does he really think he's hammering that he knows.

[Brett]

He don't care.

[Toledo]

Ideal smile. Puppies. Like, come on.

[Brett]

He's performing for the camera. They both are. Yeah. They're professionals.

[Toledo]

Yeah. We didn't see if he had a normal wang or not. Kyle. Kyle's asking. We didn't see that. But her reaction leads me to believe that there's some type of.

[Brett]

Some feelings.

[Toledo]

It's gotta be like a baby carrot. Anyway, that's the world we live in for another eight years, according to Elon. And then we can just start doing it ourselves. An abundance of everything that's included. Brady. That's what Elon's calling for. There you go, everybody. There goes your Brady report. It's out of control now. 98 KD.