01-13-26 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona (98 KUPD)

Episode: 01-13-26 – Full Show (Tuesday)

Date: January 13, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is a blend of post-football blues, signature comedic banter, playful self-roasting, and a surprisingly deep dive into artificial intelligence and existential questions about society's future. The crew, led by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo, covers everything from NFL coaching shakeups, personal nostalgia about childhood poverty meals, vehicle stereotypes, and the profound implications of AI and abundance, all in their typical irreverent and Arizona-flavored style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Football Season Fallout & NFL Coaching Gossip

• Holmberg is bummed about the Steelers’ season ending and shares a personal story of being heckled at a gas station while wearing Steelers gear (03:00).
  • "All I was doing was getting gas.... and the guy goes, 'Hey, the Steelers suck, Holmberg, you suck.' And I'm like, Jesus Christ…” – John, [03:10]
• Discussion about what’s next for the Steelers, speculates on Coach Mike Tomlin’s potential departure, and possibilities for coaching shakeups across the league (04:50).
  • “You're nine years without a playoff win and you've lost seven in the first round. That's... a record. You don't want those kind of records hanging on your neck.” – John, [04:47]
• Quick jabs at the Arizona Cardinals’ ineptitude and hypothetical coaching swaps, especially the insanity of trading coaches (06:00).

2. Comedic Tangents on Cars, Stereotypes, and Suburban Life

• The crew riff on the Subaru Outback as a “lesbian car” and Brady’s past pride (and ridicule) over owning one (10:10–14:39). Stories include the “Navratilova edition,” and car dealership sales tricks, stadium seating in the Honda Element, and the infamous Pontiac Aztec tent car.
  • “It was the Subaru Outback. Yeah. It was the Navratilova edition. Outdoorsman. Lesbian. It had a tennis racket on the side of it. It was gayest car of all time.” – John, [10:18]
  • "If you see a man driving an Outback, it's a unicorn. His lesbian sister is loaning him a car." – John, [12:43]

3. Personal History with Poverty Meals & Parenting

• The group dives into stories about their childhood meals and parental stinginess. John comically laments growing up on “egg sandwiches and 8 Fritos,” realizing live on-air that his parents “cheaped out” on food by convincing him ghetto meals were a treat (36:00+).
  • “I thought I had a pretty good childhood... Eggs, sandwich and eight Fritos. What the—yeah. They never gave me money for lunch.” – John, [42:22]
• They contrast this with modern parents taking kids to sushi and complain about today’s expectations (“Never eat something called a Coney.” – John, [35:56]).

4. Philosophy on Kids & Parental Lawsuits

• Extended, bluntly comedic rants on why Holmberg dislikes having children at his house (27:00–33:06), using stories about friends’ kids, dogs biting, and restaurant experiences.
  • “If you never touch someone else's kid, even with a high five, you knock them down. It's a virus coming at you. You might as well think of them as Covid.” – John, [25:16]
• The crowd agrees: kids are lawsuit machines better kept at a distance.
  • “The fastest way to hate kids is to have them.” – Brett, [31:32]

5. WNBA Strike, Caitlin Clark & League Politics

• An incredulous breakdown over rumors of a WNBA player strike and gender equity in sports, while poking fun at the league's reliance on NBA funding (48:11–55:32).
  • “It’s the least feminist thing ever. Men pay for it. It wouldn't exist if the... men's league didn’t cover it. That’s insulting.” – John, [55:16]
• Suggestion: The league should protect Caitlin Clark like the NBA did with Larry Bird & Magic Johnson.

6. Deep Dive: AI, Abundance, and the Future According to Elon Musk

• A lengthy, surprisingly philosophical segment where John shares Elon Musk’s prediction: in 10–15 years, AI and robotics will create “an abundance of everything,” making both work and money obsolete (55:41+).
  • “Saving money in the next 10 years is pointless... in about 10 or 15 years, saving for retirement won’t matter... There’s no reason to, you know, hold away a bunch of money.” – John, [57:52]
• The crew debates if humanity would lose its sense of purpose, whether there’d be peace or more complaints, and if society will resemble “WALL-E” or a kept spouse with no self-identity. They grapple with the odds of resentment if they end up the last generation that had to work.
• Futuristic speculation includes fully-automated homes, AI health care, and even “abundance of blowjobs, food... never have to work again.” (84:14).
  • “We’ll all know what it’s like to be a beautiful woman because some dude’s going to cover all your expenses ... That’s the future with robots!” – John, [70:22]
• Memorable quote: “You have all the world’s information in your hand. If you’re stupid, that’s your fault.” – John, [57:41]
• Cites Moonshots with Peter Diamandis as the source for Elon’s comments (83:02, 84:02).

7. Barbie's New Autistic and Diverse Dolls

• The show lampoons Mattel releasing neurodiverse and diabetic Barbie dolls (108:46+).
  • "It's just a Barbie doll that's neurodivergent or autistic. Aren't there like wild levels of that?" – John, [110:06]
  • How far will “diversity Barbie” go (Tourette’s? Trans? Down syndrome)? The consensus: The representation feels more for adults than children.

8. “Chapel Ganger”: The Quest for Uglier Doppelgangers

• The group riffs on Gen Z’s term “chapel ganger” (an uglier doppelganger), playfully ranking each other’s looks versus celebrities (100:00+).
  • “I’m the uglier version of that. I’m at baseline one, and everyone that sort of looks like me—I’m the ugliest version of that.” – John, [101:56]
• Brady claims he’s better looking than Butterbean, the boxer, leading to raucous debate.

9. Explicit Humor: Odd Medical Cases and Sexual Oddities

• Amusing medical news items: a guy hospitalized with a 7-inch sweet potato in his rectum (118:09).
• NSFW video review: erotic content featuring a very small man with a full-sized woman (126:49).
• The team wonders if these will be “abundant” in Elon Musk’s future, too.

10. Hot Releases, Music & Pop Culture

• Review segments include riffs on new songs (Bruno Mars, AI-generated country tunes like “Let’s Do Butt Stuff Tonight”), and AI-generated funk covers like "Kickstart My Heart."
• Brief pop culture notes: the 20th anniversary of Pluto losing its planet status, and pop hits from 2006 “SexyBack,” “Hips Don’t Lie,” “Crazy” (171:04).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being heckled as a Steelers fan:
  “How did you do that? You punched me... And then made it personal by actually going, 'and I know who you are too, you prick.'” – John Holmberg, [03:37]

• On childhood meals:
  “My lunch was a scrambled egg with two pieces of Wonder Bread around it, in a bag, an apple, maybe some of those, like, baby Fritos. I get a couple of Fritos ... My mom scrambles up some eggs every morning. We were Depression era. I didn’t even know it until today.” – John, [41:35]

• On AI and societal purpose:
  “We will struggle with our own purpose. We’ll be covered… If you had a wife that you just provided for, she has no identity. That’s what we’ll all be. That you have provisions constantly given to you and you don’t have to do anything.” – John, [64:01]

• On the future of relationships:
  “Everyone will know what it’s like to be a beautiful woman because some dude's going to cover all your expenses.” – John, [70:22]

• On WNBA’s feminist claims:
  “It’s the least feminist thing ever… men pay for it. It wouldn’t exist... That’s like, insulting. It’s an insulting thing to say: ‘We’ll cover you, go play your little sports, little lady, we’ll pay for that.’” – John, [55:13]

• On “Chapel Ganger” and self-image:
  “Mine is both Johnny Sins and the Sloth from the Goonies.” – John, [104:39]

• On doubting personal surgical skill:
  “You didn’t know to take the plastic wrap off windshield wipers and… now you’re transplanting livers? That’s different. That’s… no, it’s not. That's a totally—there’s no hardware.” – John, [148:32]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Football Season Recap & Steelers Woes: 03:00–08:00
• Car Stereotypes and Brady’s Outback: 10:10–14:39
• Childhood Poverty Meals & Parental Cheapness: 36:00–46:00
• Anti-Kid Rants and Lawsuit Fears: 25:10–33:06
• WNBA Strike & League Management: 48:11–55:32
• Elon Musk, AI, and the Future: 55:41–84:14
• Barbie and Representation Satire: 108:46–114:40
• Chapel Ganger/Uglier Doppelganger Discussion: 100:00–105:00
• NSFW Video Review: 126:49–128:50

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Tone & Language

• Raw, irreverent, and unfiltered comedic banter.
• Frequent self-deprecation and roasting each other.
• Arizona-local flavor: sports, Valley venues, and cultural touchpoints.
• Pop culture savvy with nostalgic references from the 80s–2000s.
• Philosophical when discussing AI—playful yet sincere questioning of modernity and purpose.

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Conclusion

This episode is classic Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: a freewheeling, often hilarious, sometimes provocative exploration of sports, everyday struggles, nostalgia, and future musings—all laced with sharp wit and camaraderie. While the show jumps between topics, it maintains a continuous thread of self-aware, funny, and unexpectedly insightful commentary about life—be it in a world with NFL heartbreak or abundant AI blowjobs.

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For further details, listen to the episode from [03:00] for football takes, from [55:41] for the AI/Elon Musk conversation, and [100:00+] for peak pop culture comedic banter.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Brady]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge and catch Aaron Belial and Zarna Garden making you laugh. Stand up live downtown at City Skate features funny man Akash Singh. And Eastside at the 10p improv.

[Brett Vesely]

Lots of entertainment there as you get.

[John Holmberg]

Newest kill, Tony regular Dedrick Flynn. Yo. High spotter Mike Goodwin and friend of the show Kevin Nealon. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov. And 10pimpro.com. Good morning, everybody. Except for me. Pricks it is. Hi, my name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big dick.

[Brett Vesely]

What happened?

[John Holmberg]

5:45. Shut up. It's the morning sickness. And to and this is a pretty special moment. This kind of, you know. What are you going to do? Football's over and I'm more upset at the season being kind of at an end than I am. The Steelers losing that games. Personal problem with the team that you love, you know, crapping the bed and all that. Big deal. They got beat by a better team, you understand?

[Brett Vesely]

I understand.

[John Holmberg]

But you get beat by a better team, you just tip your cap, you walk away and you're like, all right, well, that's. That stunk. But I, you know, in my misery, I hopped in the car last night after the game, about an hour after, and I drove to get, you know, just drove around for. I got gas in the car. I knew I needed that for the morning. So I'm like, I'll just run in there and just kind of.

[Brady]

It's like a Rocky.

[John Holmberg]

You need a little rocky drive. My montage. And I go all. I had to go over to the rental house and grab something anyway, so I'm like, I'll just make a little errand out of this. So I go over and I get. I get gas on 64th street and McDowell. Do you know remember the movie Being John Malkovich and they used to shoot out of portals and they'd end up on the New Jersey Turnpike just on the side of the road. And one time John Malkovich himself shoots out of the hole and unexpectedly, just standing on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike. And the second he kind of appears, a car goes by and throws a milkshake at him and goes, you suck, Malkovich. Like the dudes recognized him immediately. It's one of the funnier scenes in the movie. I'm getting gas, I'm in my Steelers shirt, and the guy goes, hey, the Steelers suck, Humberg, you suck. And I'm like, jesus Christ. Now really? So to that guy having the eagle eye, all I was doing was getting gas. Wasn't like I was wandering around. I was 50ft from the dude and he goes, ah. And I'm like, no arguing that tonight. And he goes, see you, man. And I'm like, how did you do that?

[Brady]

Salute.

[John Holmberg]

How did you do that? That you punched me. Oh, you hit me in the Steelers. That hurt. And then made it personal by actually going, and I know who you are too, you prick. And he hits me over the head with that. So then I started laughing because I'm like, that's remarkable. That's just. I did. I made a last minute decision to go wander around for a little bit and I hit.

[Brady]

Did you think anything of having the jersey on at all?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't care about that. Just that particular gas station at that particular moment in Time made me realize the simulation is complete and solopsism is real. I created that moment through my own psyche and my own consciousness. To have that guy hit me personally, it's one thing to just scream, hey, Steelers suck. Yeah, they did. Thanks. See you buddy. And then to go. And I also know you. You suck too. Like thanks. Thanks a lot for that and I appreciate. Just gonna finish getting gas and I'm gonna go hang myself. Yeah, it was another good and see this is what card this is why you sit back and you don't interview. You interview. You get your Vance Josephs and your people out of the way. Mike Tomlin's not going to be there. I don't think he's going to stick around. Now the coaching thing gets real interesting. You're probably going to have.

[Brady]

So I was just going to ask. You think he's gone?

[John Holmberg]

No. There's no reason to keep this up. You're nine years without a playoff win and you've lost seven in the first round. That's. That's a record. You don't want those kind of records hanging on your neck. So he's there. Matt LaFleur is probably. They're talking about keeping them in Green Bay, but there's an option there. Harbaugh, you've got some coaching candidates floating around that need new. You know, to breathe life into something new and leave the place they were. Doesn't mean it doesn't make them bad. It makes the message lost. I mean there's some guys out there right now and some of the younger guys too. So Cardinals quiet down about silly.

[Brady]

Where does Arthur Smith go?

[John Holmberg]

He straight to hell.

[Brett Vesely]

You knew that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we've had some bad offensive coordinators and he's the best of the bad. But man, that was just. That was just an egregiously poor plan.

[Brett Vesely]

Last night going out with Matt Canada for a while.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Matt Canada will never work again. That guy. I don't know how he got the job in the first place. Matt Canada was just awful. But Arthur Smith's better than that. I hope he gets a head coaching job and bury something. His. His scheme is just brutally safe.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like a Cardinal to me.

[John Holmberg]

He. He would be a hire for that. He. You know, and boy, this says John. Look at it this way. Your Steelers may have lost, but at least you're not a Baltimore fan. Look, I told you last week that that was my season. I knew this team wasn't going to go to the super bowl.

[Brady]

So this was crazy.

[John Holmberg]

We were going to lose eventually in the playoffs. But you know who wasn't going to lose in the playoffs? Teams didn't make it like Baltimore and it was awesome. So that, that I felt good. This one says, I pray to the football gods the Steelers fire Mike Tomlin and hire John Harbaugh. That would be fun. That would be a fun, a fun soap opera move. If they just swap spots. That would be, that would be a really neat, fun thing. I would, I would not be surprised. Mike's got a year in his contract, so the deal would be that he'd have to walk away or the Steelers would trade him and you can trade him and the Cardinals would be smart to give up a second or first round draft pick to get a coach like that, if you can.

[Brady]

There's a couple of teams, I think that would do that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's plenty of teams that would do that. I mean, the Giants are one. But I mean, you've got options now. The leverage there. If he leaves, I think he's going to be done. I think there'll be a, a quiet parting of the ways. It won't be he's fired. It won't be I quit. It'll be mutual agreement that, you know, the time has come that he needs to take a step away and he'll do TV for a year.

[Brady]

Brief trip to Ireland. We'll straighten things.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe, maybe. But yeah, the. It's interesting. But yeah, that one was rough. That was a roughy watching that. And just like, all right, Houston's better, that's fine. Let's hope it doesn't get out of hand. And then it gets out of hand and then I just try to get gas. Simply try to enjoy the rest of my night. It had to be 11 o' clock at 10:30 getting gas. And hey. And he knew and it was. He and two other people were with him and he had the biggest smile on his face. And I'm just getting gas. Yeah, I wasn't like, I wasn't like, hi, everybody. I wasn't even being personal. I was hiding. Really. Hey, that's that Holmberg dude, which he'd yell at him. It's punched me right in the guts. It was a good shot. So to that prick, if you're out there, I would like an email from you and I don't even expect an apology. I'd like another F you from that guy right away. That was very interesting. But yeah, you're fine. And again, I hope the people that don't like me.

[Brady]

That was in the Jeep, right?

[John Holmberg]

No, I was in the, the Bronco.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, he left one slur out then.

[John Holmberg]

No, the Mark wasn't with me. Yeah, no, Mark wasn't with me.

[Brady]

That's the.

[John Holmberg]

Again. You can go down that road all you want. It's only Mark. It's not even going to apply to me.

[Brady]

There's an example, right?

[John Holmberg]

Perfect. Well, look, every day is an example. The only times anybody's called me the homo effort is when Mark's in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

You need to record this next time.

[John Holmberg]

Mark's in the car. If Mark's in the car, I'm putting the phone. I'm getting dash cams.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm pointing them at Mark. Like I'm going to. You know what I.

[Brady]

Mark effect.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to call Stubbings today. And we're going. You and I are going to drive around for a little bit. He's going to be. Why? Where we going? Nowhere. We're going nowhere. We're just going to drive around in high volume traffic and we're just going to wait for a girl to start singing Cher at you or guys to ask us what gay bar we're going to because it's.

[Brady]

You loop him around and then I want to put him in my rental Rogue Nissan Rogue with the windows down and see if it happens.

[John Holmberg]

That I don't think that's. I don't think that the market would.

[Brady]

Work on no matter what car.

[John Holmberg]

I think the Nissan Rogue with two dudes in it is. That's like lesbians. Like you might think you guys again. Yeah, that's. I think. Yeah. You can't have two fellas in a Nissan Rogue. That's sort of a family car. You two have adopted a Chinese girl. There's no question.

[Brady]

That one is the rogue nation.

[John Holmberg]

It's assumed that inside of that if there's two gentlemen, that there's definitely some ass play going on. Just weird, though. And Stebbings would do it. And you can't really test that because the Rogue has a. It's weird to see two dudes in a family truckster. It really is. Like, that's an odd thing, don't you think?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like two guys in an Outback.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll Uber.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, I've lived it.

[John Holmberg]

You've been in an Outback. Yeah. And people thought you were the one.

[Brett Vesely]

You owned one didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Two years.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't even a good. Yeah, he wasn't even a good one. You had it for longer than two years.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You had to because we. You had it at the Zone. And then you had it here for a while.

[Brady]

It was at the tail. And you kept it telling you and.

[John Holmberg]

Gave it to your dad when he was driving, when he was out here.

[Brady]

My stages of every two years.

[John Holmberg]

That was a rough one. Yeah. And it wasn't even one of the good ones. It was a weird hunter. It was ultra. It had, like, lesbian package on the back.

[Brady]

Gold package?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the gold package. What put it over the top? I mean, it was.

[Brady]

What were you doing?

[John Holmberg]

It was the Subaru Outback. Yeah. It was the Navratilova edition.

[Brady]

Outdoorsman. Lesbian.

[John Holmberg]

It was Navratilova. It had a tennis racket on the side of it. It was gayest car of all time. If you're a woman, if you're a man, it's just like, oh, what? This is a loner. You wreck your car.

[Brett Vesely]

That it come with free tickets to share. Is just a CD in the deck there.

[John Holmberg]

That might be. Indigo Girls were. Cher was not. Cher was way too mainstream. This was.

[Brady]

I picked up the Indigo Girls.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He had to. They just. Well, every time he'd stop, the Indigo Girls would appear and get in the car. It's like, I don't know what's going on. Your car is a portal to our lesbian ways. Yeah. That was the. Literally on the side of it, you know how they have, like, you know, different state. Like the. The Jeeps have the Renegade and all that on the side. It said outback Dyke. It was crazy. It was like, butch. It was like there were two levels. It was butch, in fact. And Brady had it. That was the first time.

[Brady]

My first sense of pride.

[John Holmberg]

It was the first time I ever. Oh, there was pride involved. That was the first time ever I heard Brady go, sweet. We didn't know what that was. I'm sure Double sunrise. I didn't know him.

[Brady]

Look at this.

[John Holmberg]

Jim Wilson and I walking in from lunch when he pulled into that and we just started laughing. Check out my new sweet bride. Did you say sweet? What's that mean? Yeah, sweet. Like, okay, he's got a speech. Pride. I'm not going to make fun of him. What happened to your regular car? I traded it in. For what? When he get that car for this. What, did you lose a bet? I got a good deal.

[Brett Vesely]

I bet you walked in the door.

[John Holmberg]

It can't be good when you pull up in your new car and people start like. And you're like, it's my new car. Like, yeah, right.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, really? Where's the.

[John Holmberg]

Where's the real car?

[Brady]

It's in the shop.

[John Holmberg]

It was weird.

[Brett Vesely]

For two years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was a. That was a good one. But the Outback, that's going to do that. There's nothing you can do about. But a man driving an Outback is just confusing because no man has an Outback.

[Brett Vesely]

What year was that thing? I'll look this up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was bad. That'll be 98.

[Brady]

Yeah. Probably right around there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. It had to be 98 or 99. Yeah, that one was an odd purchase, but it was funny. I mean, if you were going for laughs, you got them. But a dude driving. I don't think since you. I've seen a man driving an Outback.

[Brett Vesely]

Not on purpose.

[Brady]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't. You've never seen that. You've seen a man with an Outback.

[Brady]

I kind of chuckle.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh. It's hilarious. If you see it, it's a unicorn. I've never. I mean, his lesbian sister is loaning him a car. No man has signed.

[Brady]

The guys that ride the bikes on the. On the weekends.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady]

And the. A lot of bike riders, like trail.

[John Holmberg]

Riders that have outbacks. Yeah, no, I ride a lot of bikes.

[Brady]

Bike rack on it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. For the lesbians, so they can go. It's never for a man. That's exactly what it looked like, the gold wheels. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah.

[Brady]

I've never seen that scoop on the front hood.

[John Holmberg]

Brad, I don't know how many times you and I have been on rides or bike rides or trail rides or anything else. I've never once even seen dudes piling out of an Outback.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, Not. They weren't grabbing their ass when they got out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No man's ever purchased one of those on purpose. Except Brady. And then obviously was ridiculed out of it a couple years later. He had to hang on to it.

[Brady]

But.

[John Holmberg]

But that was a rough one.

[Brady]

It's my experimental stage.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you know what you were. Yeah. Experiment with the ladies. Why not? I think I found it with the mean lesbians. That thing just had. It just had big V energy coming off. Like angry vaginas. Like. Yeah, it was like vaginas with vaginas with mustaches. Like, they were angry male vaginas.

[Brett Vesely]

So the gold wheels and everything like that, it wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it wasn't that ghetto, but it was pretty. That boof, man. That's a car. Anyway.

[Brady]

How is that? Sweet.

[John Holmberg]

Sweet. That's what we thought he was kidding with. It's like. Oh, they gave him a weird loner. We didn't even know at the time that those were for lesbians, but we assumed it because Martina Navratilova was the spokesperson for Subaru back then. We're like, oh, I see the angle. They're tackling that market. That's interesting. And back in the late 90s, everybody thought there were like four per city. We didn't know how many lesbians there actually were until, you know, Obama. And then. Then they just erupted. Lesbianism was humongous.

[Brady]

One of the good phrases on selling benefits. They're big in Denver.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, cool. To be fair, you didn't know that 90s Denver was just a sea of lesbianism. We didn't know that that was liberal lesbianism everywhere.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that your worst car?

[Brady]

Yeah, pretty much.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Visually proud.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I remember I was at a car dealership. My friend Brian, I don't know how they sold you that Outback. I don't know what the linchpin was to go, sweet, where do I sign? I don't know what that's. That sales guy. I hope he's in. He's got to be the greatest. He's like, in the hall of fame. I sold a Subaru Outback to a man once, and everybody be like, buy beers for him. How did he do it? I'm at the Saturn dealership and my friend Brian's like, I was looking at these Saturns. You want to come? I'm like, sure. So I go out with him and we're there, and this Italian dude is like, they make this out of different stuff. He's the salesman. He goes, they don't. It's not like metal. And I don't know what the product was that they made Saturn's out of. He took a baseball bat and just smashed the door twice.

[Brady]

And it pops back out.

[John Holmberg]

And then he kind of banged on it. You'd do anything to this car. And my buddy Brian's like, I'll take it. Like, it was the greatest. It was the greatest sales pitch I've ever seen.

[Brady]

How many times was he taking the bat to the door?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you show people, but. Yeah, you'd kick them or. But you. I mean, he was not comfortable with it yet, the dude. And I'll never forget it. I don't even know why I was with him that day. This dude, Italian was. It was like, Brett in the suit. He got. Hang on, I'll be right back. He comes back with a bat, and I'm like, oh, no, I've seen this. We're getting in a trunk. He's going to beat us to death. I thought we were going to be.

[Brady]

And he just big the trunk is.

[John Holmberg]

Smashes a car with like nine miles on it in the. In the parking lot. Just one of his products. Look at that. You can do anything you want to this thing. I'm like, it's indestructible. And he mashed that thing. And he stood there all proud of himself with the bat. And I'm like, this is Saturn's selling point, is that it can be vandalized and you'd never know it. And all I thought was, I want to beat the crap out of Brian's car on a regular basis when he's asleep and he'll wake up, it'll be just fine. It recovered. It's pretty amazing. But anyway, I hope the people like that dude at the gas station, everybody else found great joy. The ones that hate me in my bad evening with my football team, I'm not that down on it because I didn't expect them to do anything outside of make the playoffs, maybe get a win out of. They couldn't win it, so I was fine. The Ravens are out there in shambles, and I'm fine with whatever happens next, so. Good. I hope you have it. Like, Kevin has emailed me, and he goes, I know. I now know what true love is. And John, you're right. You find something to hate, and you hate it hard. I just watched the place I used to work, and they fired me because I was going through a lot of things. My dad had died, so I was sad. They pulled me into the office and said, you're too sad to work here. He said, well, I just watched them go out of business. Now, the people that screwed me for just having a few rough days and all the others that are there are now jobless, some probably homeless, corporate bobs. I am beaming more than I ever, ever thought I could. So much better than the day I had my first child. You're right. Hate is so much stronger than love. Find something to hate and hate it hard. It's a great sentence, Kevin. Hate it hard. And then when you watch them fall, your joy is. It's immeasurable. It's fantastic. So congratulations. I'm glad that the people that fired you are now looking for work themselves. There's nothing better. Nothing much better. Should have fire Brady that day. It's like, gotta quit telling people you've got a sweet ride. We're gonna build a parking cave for you so nobody thinks you have. Like, we can't have it.

[Brady]

You did the right thing. Let him go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let's let that. Let that go.

[Brett Vesely]

What was the one with the stadium seating in it?

[John Holmberg]

That was a terrible car, too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What was that called?

[Brady]

That was a Honda Element.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. The element to get in the back.

[Brady]

That was Ronnie. Ronnie wanted that. She still misses that.

[John Holmberg]

She's wrong then. She has worse taste than you in cars. That's terrible. Between the Outback in the Element, I'd take the Outback just for the laughs. The element had no laughs. It was just dumb. The only thing Brady didn't buy that would have been worse is that Pontiac Aztec that there was a guy at the sports station that had that car that turned into a tent, which I still don't understand why people are like, the one thing missing from my car is a flimsy kind of back end that can be a tent if I feel like sleeping in it.

[Brady]

I'm convinced Elon Musk, that was his favorite car.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they do, because there's a couple of elements.

[Brady]

But that truck.

[John Holmberg]

But the technology. Yeah, but at least he didn't add flimsy tent to it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When you're. One of your selling points is, hey, you got a Pontiac Aztec, that means life ain't going to work out for you. So the good news is you can sleep in this. If one of the elements of the car is you live in it, that's bad. Like, you're for good.

[Brady]

That was one of my Christmas presents this year.

[John Holmberg]

A tent for your car gave me and.

[Brady]

No, it was a Hot Wheels Aztec.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's cool.

[Brady]

Like, where's a Zach?

[John Holmberg]

That is actually cool.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Does it have the tent?

[Brady]

No. Hot Wheels don't really fold out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they have doors, and it's.

[Brady]

A race version of the Aztec.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you have an Aztec, too, then?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

No. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I was shocked that that didn't happen, but when there was a guy named Don that worked at the sports, I knew better. He pulled in in the Aztec. Don pulled in in the ass. What you'd learned from the Outback?

[Brady]

No. If I would have been calling on a Pontiac dealership at the time and advertising Camel.

[Brett Vesely]

Camelback, Subaru buy from you after buying that Outback or what it was, was it worth it?

[John Holmberg]

But did you get a special Brady's Morning cup off of that?

[Brady]

Sure you did.

[John Holmberg]

That's why you bought it.

[Brady]

I bought it from the dealer. That was. I bought it from a client.

[John Holmberg]

Right, but that was a. I. I.

[Brady]

Don'T know about special.

[John Holmberg]

It was free. You didn't get a trade. Okay. I Don't know if you were scamming the system.

[Brady]

I probably ended up having to pay full retail next. You're getting a good deal.

[John Holmberg]

I know that when Don drove in in his Aztec, that Brady's head turned like, whoa, sweet. But then he had to temper that because he had to realize, that's not sweet. I've learned that is not sweet.

[Brady]

If I was at a Pontiac dealership, it would have been between the Bonneville SSE at the time, back in the day. I like that ride and the gto, but I'd have to find an older one.

[John Holmberg]

But instead you got an Outback just for the deal. I. I hope that. I hope that Subaru dealerships, but I hope they paid for everything through advertising, because that was. That is a ride right there that nobody should have. By the way, you wanted this.

[Brady]

Not that one. It's older.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's Benjamin Button when it comes to cars. When he was in his 20s and 30s, he wanted cars that 70 year olds liked.

[Brady]

Probably like an 83.

[John Holmberg]

That Honda Element was weird. He drove that in and we all climbed in to go to lunch. And when you're in the back seat and you're a foot and a half higher than the driver, you're like, later in that. What am I, what am I sitting in here? It was like, oh, there's stadium seating. I'm like, I'm not in a stadium. There's no need for me to see this.

[Brady]

There it is like that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you were.

[John Holmberg]

You were an 85 year old man in your 30s.

[Brady]

That is kind of like. It's their version of like the. The Taurus.

[John Holmberg]

It's their version of the Seicho. That's the Buick Park Avenue is what that is.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, when he was younger, it was hilarious to watch. That is an old man's car. Even then. Yeah, that's the Oldsmobile Regency broham of the 90s. Yeah. That wasn't cool at all. That, wasn't it. No. We'd have laughed at that too, if you'd have pulled him. Check out my sweet ride. Smells like diapers. Arthritis medicine.

[Brady]

I'm gonna buy it.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll find you one.

[John Holmberg]

Did that come with free Voltaren? Because I think it should. You should get arthritis rub for that. Anyway, ssei, by the way, everybody, Timothy Bosfield from Revenge of the Nerds and Field of Dreams and everything else, please call the marshals. He's kind of missing he. Those kids, period. End of story. Like his reaction to being accused of kid diddling, he. There's no question. He's the marshals want to talk to him. And they're like, nobody knows where he is. That's the sign.

[Brady]

It's all a misunderstanding.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't mean to accuse me right now of diddling.

[Brady]

Tell everyone where he was going.

[John Holmberg]

Do it. Say, john, I think you had sex with children.

[Brady]

I think you had sex with children.

[John Holmberg]

All right, present the evidence because there is none. I know deep down in my heart and soul that there is absolutely nothing you have on me. I please. And if he's like, we got some federal marshals downstairs want to talk to you about kid sex. Like, wow, that's shocking. Let's answer those questions because I know for a fact nothing. I did nothing wrong. And because I'm not a kid diddler. It's very easy. I much like when we went through the MeToo movement and I suggest that everybody at work, women were a little bit crazy for a year or two where you couldn't talk to them or tell them they had nice hair. Remember that? Remember that weirdness? For two years you couldn't say, hey, that's a very nice shirt without risking your entire career. Your hair looks nice. Today was a holy cow. Sexual harassment. Like, it was getting strange. So I came up with the acknowledge female. When you see a female co worker, you just say acknowledge and you'd walk by. No interaction. No I like your shoes. Nothing. Did you cut your hair? Nothing nice at all. And same thing goes with kids that don't belong to you. Do not touch them. Do not have them in your home. Do not talk to them. Don't drive any of them to Little League. Don't do any of it. What? 98. No way. You know when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand Up Live and Eastside. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drinks. So see, the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to Desert Ridge, improv.comstanduplive.com and Tempe improv.com Homeburg's Morning Sickness. Your kid and your kid only is allowed in your house for a little while if this is the case. Because if. If what Timothy Busfield is saying is true and parents have started a New thing where they'll accuse you of sexually assaulting their kids just for revenge. And you did.

[Brady]

Have you tickled my kids?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he admitted I tickled them. Well, there you go. You're done. You're done.

[Brady]

Added tickling with the well, yes. He touched my penis.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right? If you tickle and then you tickle and bump a pee pee and the kids like, he touched my pee pee. Your whole life. Don't touch any kids ever. Like, little kids can come running up, hi, Uncle John. No straight foot boink. I'd rather get in trouble for knocking one out than ever get accused of touching one because we're having a good time together. No, kids aren't. But Brett, high five. Oh, we have a friend. I won't say his name, but his son, he's got a son and it's what, eight, six, seven, something like that. And his son has a. A filthy, poor friend that comes over to the house all the time, stinks up the house and he has to tell him all the time. This kid stinks, man. He's like, it just Pig Pen and he hates him. And he's like, I came in and that wretched little disgusting kid was in my house and he stinks. I'm like, kick him out. He goes, I have to. And he goes, I won't high five this kid. He's so dirty. I'm like, you know what? That's going to double back on you perfectly. If you never touch someone else's kid, even with a high five, you knock them down. It's a virus coming at you. You might as well think of them as Covid. Because this is a dangerous world if that's what parents are doing, is what Timothy Busfield said. Oh, I parents are mad. So they're accusing me of sexually assaulting. Now, there's no way you those kids, anybody says, john, did you touch that kid? And be like, nope. And you better have some pretty good evidence. I'll answer all the questions. There's not going to be, does anyone know where John is for three days? Because that's a sign you probably kids. I mean, if I told Brady right now, hey, Brady, I'm pretty sure I have evidence that you had sex with kids and you left and then turned your phone off and got rid of all your social media. I'd be like, oh my God, I was kidding.

[Brady]

I didn't tell you about the three day retreat.

[John Holmberg]

I was just kidding. And I'm pretty sure Brady's reaction tells me he kids, there's no question in my mind, this Timothy Buster and his story's like, well, this isn't cotton dry. Well, I even gonna go to court with this. If you disappear for three days on an accusation of that you did it, your lawyers can't answer, like, no, we know where he is. Just. He's just kind of nervous right now. It's like, no, I wouldn't even get nervous accusing me of that. Do you know this kid? I'm like, yeah, well, we think you sexually assaulted him. Like, well, let's play the feud, because there's no chance that you're gonna have. You got nothing. I won't. I won't touch a kid. I don't want him around at all. The worst thing you can accuse me of is, yes, I knocked him over when he got too close. I didn't want him anywhere near me. And they're kind of wobbly and funny when they fall anyway. But if you're. And children like me, that's the worst part. When that's. People want. Their kids want to, like, run around. I am. And I knock them down every time they think it's funny. But I will knock your child out. I have no. If it comes running at me, all I see is potential lawsuits. My dad taught me that. Years ago, my dad would come home from work, get these goddamn kids out of here. Never had friends in the house because all my dad said, one of us gonna fall down and sue us. That's all. He was so afraid of it. Stebbings would come over. Jeff Begley would come over, and I'd open the door. It's like, can we come in? It's hot. I'm like, no, nobody's coming in this house. My dad would. He's gonna. He thinks you guys are out to sue him. He was right. I see a kid, all I see is legal papers coming right at me. I'm like, nope, this one's not. Aid ain't coming in. It has to be at least 22 to be in my house. That's the rules I have. If you bring a. It has to be parentally supervised. On a leash or something. Put it on a leash, but wrap it up. If you brought your dog over to my house, same things apply. If it bites somebody else, I get sued. So. But yeah. Hey, Brett, I think you. I'm pretty sure you touched kids want to prove it. See, there it is. That's the proper reaction. Prove it. Yeah, you don't go. Brett went to a retreat for a week. No, that's a guy never had I.

[Brett Vesely]

Would go the other way.

[John Holmberg]

I would go right to the police and go, I don't know what this dude's doing, but I hate kids. There's. It's the last thing I would ever do. I used to say I didn't hate him, but now I'm pretty sure I hate him. I just hate him. Yeah.

[Brady]

I love him. What?

[John Holmberg]

Right. Good on. Yeah, you don't want to say that. Don't say that. Acknowledge child. This is my son Kelly, downstairs. She wanted to come over for one of the Steeler games earlier this year. She kept trying to drag her kids along. And one of them's like, 17. She's 17. I'm like, he's still a kid.

[Brett Vesely]

No, you don't let her, did you?

[John Holmberg]

No, she came over with somebody else. She tried to bring, like, another. It was the Lions game. She tried to bring a. A friend of hers over that was a Lions fan. I'm like, no, what are you doing? Like, you're not invited. Like, and you're invited. I'm fine. She's a very nice person, but you can't go dragging the opposition in your first day. You show up and show you can behave, and then we'll. We'll let you vouch for other people. That's how it works.

[Brady]

She just didn't know.

[John Holmberg]

No, I told her several times, and she kept pushing the issue, and I'm like, now you're not invited. Now you can't come. Can I bring my son? What? The absolute. Have you met me? Absolutely not. No. He's good. Like, I don't keep him at your house where he's good. He's not good at my house. Gross.

[Brett Vesely]

And she ought to know better.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not. You know.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. We've worked together for years.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Can I bring my son? I don't want to meet your kids.

[Brett Vesely]

I hate kids.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want that there. He's 17. Like, when he were close. Then we're getting up there, but three, four more years, maybe I'll meet your kid.

[Brady]

But go to Brett's bar. I mean.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, she hates kids, too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a ball almost as much as I do. My house is. I should have a sign that says adultoma. All there is little lawsuit machines. I got a lot of sharp edges. I know those little idiots running around, trips over my dog or pisses one of my dogs off. My dog. You know, I've seen that. My. Our friend used to work with him, had a Jack Russell terrier, for God's sakes. And the neighbor kid started to play with it and he's like, what are you doing? And the dog kind of knocked him down and then went at him. They had to put the dog down because the parents claimed that the kid got bit.

[Brady]

Oh, I thought you may put the kid down.

[Brett Vesely]

No, that'd be better.

[John Holmberg]

Equal. Equal should have happened. It was, you know what? The kid started it. So we're putting things down.

[Brett Vesely]

If I sees a kid walking to the bar and she just turns into clinic.

[John Holmberg]

Get out. They. And they have to because they got food. Yeah, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Matthew says, I have kids and I hate them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The fastest way to hate kids is to have them.

[Brady]

She sees five dollar meal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because then. Because that sign out so kids eat free.

[Brett Vesely]

That would never happen.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, we did that.

[Brett Vesely]

Kids pay double.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I. I used to suggest that at Tony Roma's kids are extra like that kids men should be like, how come the kids burgers $15? It's like, so you never come back here with those kids eat free. Oh, we tried that for a little bit, Romas. And my God, did those cheap bastards take advantage of that party of fix to adults. Four kids mother 18 and they never tip on. They tipped on the 18 bucks and they got grilled cheeses and there was crap all over the place. Nobody likes your kids.

[Brady]

We don't serve Cheerios. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. But they were everywhere and they just left them. That's somebody else's life. Yuck. At the Rah Rah room down there at the Suns. Some people, Kids in there. Sometimes people. I don't know how they have the nerve. The whole family rolls in there and they bring their children. And I'm like, ugh. Some lady brought her four year old.

[Brady]

Sitting at the table like, kids. There's that disgusting shock jock.

[John Holmberg]

Good, good. Yeah. Teach him to hate me because I. It's mutual. He's gross. I'm like, so's that tickle the kids. Yeah. Then they disappear for three days in Santa Fe and Marshalls can't find me. I those kids, there's no question that point Rah Rah room lets him in there. Well, we all. You hear an audible. Oh. When one comes in. What's going on?

[Brett Vesely]

A little bag of Cheerios. Throwing them all over the place.

[John Holmberg]

And me and Anthony just go, we're getting out of here. You feel bad for all the servers, you know, like because they wandered around.

[Brady]

There and you're like, there's your Shirley Temple.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I would just say no. I would put alcohol in it. It's like, oh, I didn't know children were here. I. Who brings kids to a. This is dumb.

[Brady]

Could he get a chocolate milk?

[John Holmberg]

I'm kind of convinced that my parents never gave me good food on purpose because then I would want. I see parents taking their kids to sushi and like, nice. But like, what are you doing? You're creating a palate that you can't keep up with this. Like, they're gonna. And the expectations of like, what a date would do. Like, Applebee's was pretty good when I was first kind of adulting. Like, this is decent. Like, I know we never got to go for sushi. My parents used to go, ew, it's gross all the time. With everything that could potentially be expensive, they considered gross. And that was a ploy because they went out and ate it.

[Brady]

That was right when you were a kid. I mean, the first time I tried Sushi was like 1991.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was everywhere. But my parents, like, ugh, no. But then I like, they'd eat it and my dad like, I love this stuff. I'm like, what? Where did that start? Like, once I was an adult, suddenly mom and dad were at like high end restaurants. And I'm like, have you guys been doing this the whole time? We did. We didn't take your dumbass. Because then you'd expect better food.

[Brady]

I didn't like going to the high end restaurant or the country club brunch or whatever. Because you had to dress up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And as a kid, you hated putting on.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think that's on purpose though. Yeah, I think parents.

[Brett Vesely]

No, you don't want to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm still that way.

[Brady]

Where are we going to dinner? You know. Oh, you need to wear a suit and tie.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta talk to my dad about this coat. And he owes me some money because I ate plain hot dogs. Like, I. I had to be like the cheapest ride ever. As a kid. I was like 8 cents a day because I ate tortilla shells and stuff. I was. Yeah, those kids were eating better than me. I had tortilla shells, Sloppy joes. The hell was that? That cost a penny. My mom would make like, here, I'd be like, oh, delicious. Like, it was food. And then like later I noticed that these, these two mother were going out to some pretty nice places. They never took us. You weren't supposed to take your kids to that.

[Brett Vesely]

Like the highest class place Kurt Vesely ever took me was like Black Angus or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

And that's.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that was. And that was, like, nice.

[John Holmberg]

And you thought.

[Brady]

And did you want to go back after that or did you have to dress up?

[Brett Vesely]

No, not for that.

[John Holmberg]

Black Angus was a thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We knew, though. You can't ask for Black Angus that just shows up once or twice a year. You can't. Kids ask now. It's like, I want to go to. I want to go to the sushi place. Or I want to go to, you know, Capital Grill. Like, what the hell did you do?

[Brady]

It was usually our grandparents that want, you know, like, if it was someone in town or whatever. And then you go to a nice place.

[John Holmberg]

Never eat something called a Coney.

[Brady]

Is that like a Coney Dog?

[Brett Vesely]

It's like a Detroit thing, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, Basically disgusting. Human vomit, acid reflux in a hot dog bun. It's one of the grossest things you'll ever. My grandpa, that was his specialty.

[Brady]

He loved the Coney dog.

[John Holmberg]

Three cents a person, max. I'm realizing as we talk about this, I was getting rotten. Like Timothy Busfield. Kids, all through my childhood on food, I never got good meals.

[Brady]

Your mom cooked.

[Brett Vesely]

They were sticking to your namesake, them.

[John Holmberg]

But they were. I was. They were Jewing me on the food. Brett's right. Noodles, like, everything. We ate some good spaghetti. We ate. Oh, my God. I'm having a real. This is a Katrina. I gotta call Katrina. My parents fed me garbage. Bargain basement ghetto food to keep me from liking good stuffs I never asked for. We ate like Toledo's. I ate like Toledo, for Christ's sake. Salisbury steak. We ate that. That was a big night.

[Brady]

You'd have. Everyone would have the TV dinner.

[John Holmberg]

We had TV dinners.

[Brett Vesely]

The old tinfoil.

[John Holmberg]

We were. Here's the other thing. We were excited about those. Jesus Christ. My parents chewed me out of meals for 18 years. Next thing I know, I'm with my dad as an adult and all he wants to do is go to high end everywheres and I foot the bill most of the time. This mother owes me thousands of dollars. Housing, please. You were saving money.

[Brett Vesely]

How to save money to pay for all your ass.

[Brady]

Lot of baloney.

[John Holmberg]

See, that's why I don't understand it when, like, people get divorced and, like, oh, I gotta pay. I gotta pay that broad like 2 grand a month for. I'm like, 2. It cost my dad like 12 cents a month to raise me. What are you spending on a kid? Clothes and food. I'm like, clothes and food? 18 bucks a year, max. I don't think my parents spent more than that. And they're in a house they would have been in with or without me. So it wasn't like they were. We put a roof over your head. Yeah, but it would be there anyway.

[Brett Vesely]

Mac and cheese with hot dogs.

[John Holmberg]

And I got. And I loved it.

[Brady]

What a combo.

[John Holmberg]

It was thrilling. I'd come home and smell that grilled cheese.

[Brady]

God damn, it's gold.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. It's six tenths of a cent grilled cheese from McDonald's. My dad needs to be a lawyer for men getting divorced and just sit. Your honor, I can raise a kid on 18 a year. I don't know what this guy's got to pay two grand a month for.

[Brett Vesely]

I think Cordell and Cordell's priority. Got his number on call.

[John Holmberg]

Dan Homer. He can do this down to about 12 cents a day. Maybe spent 12 cents on me a day. Maybe. Maybe never.

[Brady]

You got the private school you got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't have to do that.

[Brady]

That's a general soccer league you've got.

[John Holmberg]

I look at private schools and public schools the same way I look at the way water works. When we were kids, you could drink out of the faucet and everything was fine. And now you can't do that. Now you have to have, like, a special ionized bottle to put ionized water, and it doubles down and it's like 14 for a thing of water.

[Brady]

My sister still does the brita stupid jug.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but school is the same because somewhere along the way they made public schools like. Like water out of a faucet. And the only way your kids are useful are private schools. And that's just such a scam. It's not different. Brady's is a little. Well, they want to teach them Jesus. And that's the difference. If you want to teach them Jesus, you got to go to that. Otherwise, public schools are just fine. They'll teach them to be men going for the Kool Aid. Even the girls. Yeah. You know, you got the Jesus plan. You want to teach them the Jesus, then you got to go to that private thing. Public schools are just fine. There. Nothing wrong with them. But we made them tap water. Ew. Your kids go to a. And then all you need, especially in Gilbert, is, oh, they're going to Highland. And now you feel like you failed. But my dad would have been like, yup. And I, 8 cents a day.

[Brady]

My dad's not going to school with goons.

[John Holmberg]

Eight cents a day. My dad still probably wakes up laughing. I raised two kids. I spent one 34 doll whole time.

[Brady]

Yeah, the lunch money bill is A lot different from where it wouldn't be.

[John Holmberg]

If Dan was raising you. How much is lunch? It's like $83 a week. All right, well, you'll eat when you get home. I wouldn't eat at school if it was expensive. My dad would be like, nope. And we had money. Well, he had money. He kept closed off lunches.

[Brady]

Like, I had open lunch from elementary.

[John Holmberg]

School on my brown bag. I liked it. My mom would make me. You know what I used to eat? Jesus, ghetto. I am having a moment. My lunch, and I was thrilled with this pretty much every day, was a scrambled egg with two pieces of Wonder Bread around it in a bag, an apple. Maybe some of those, like, baby Fritos. I get a couple of Fritos. Like, one wasn't like a full bag.

[Brady]

The mini bag.

[John Holmberg]

Like, she'd reach in with her. No, no, she'd reach into the big bag and put it in a Ziploc. Like, like, portioned it out. Portion. Like we were in war with, like, we were rationing. And then, you know, one thing I did, like a Coke, because that was. That was my treat. But I was allowed to have two a day. Was it a real Coke? Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Two a day. Oh, yeah. She didn't. I will give them credit.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Was it Mr. Pibb or.

[John Holmberg]

They were brand name people. Oh, my God. Every day, my lunch was a penny. And I was. I was walking around like, hey, guys, what's going on? I'm the richest kid in this class. There's no question. My mom scrambles up some eggs every morning. We were Depression era. I didn't even know it until just till today.

[Brady]

Not even a PB and J because you want the scrambled eggs.

[John Holmberg]

I like scrambled. I thought it was highfalutin food.

[Brady]

That was your gold.

[John Holmberg]

I loved an egg sandwich. How sad is that? And I'd sit there and just hammer a scrambled egg sandwich. Other kids look at him eating real food, going, that guy, his parents are broke. Terrible. Oh, my God. I didn't have a Members Only jacket. I had the Mervyn's version.

[Brett Vesely]

Mervyn's was still, you know, I mean, better.

[John Holmberg]

Like, no, it wasn't pennies or something. And my. You know, remember those red and black? They were popular for all those Elmer Fudd coats everybody had for a little while. Mine was blue. Everybody had red and black. That was the cool thing. Mine was like your color. Like, it was turquoise and black. And it was like, yours is wrong. Like, immediately. That's not right. Like, I know with the yellow front.

[Brett Vesely]

And bottom or Something or.

[John Holmberg]

I think she got it. Yeah, she got it. I at Marshalls. And it probably had an irregular thing. It probably had a big bleach stain on the back. I didn't even see. Jesus Christ. My parents who had money were me like Timothy Busfield. They should be in hiding for day. I might just go back and sue them for a few decent meals. Eggs, sandwich and eight Fritos. What the. Yeah. They never gave me money for lunch. That was.

[Brady]

She probably asked you what do you want anything else? No. Egg sandwich?

[John Holmberg]

No. Because they had Brady. Because they were geniuses. They had trained me to not want more than a scrambled egg. We had those weird ghetto burgers where my mom was put Wonder bread around meat bleed through. Your meat was pink and the bread started to turn mush. Still crushed it. Tortilla shells. That was a meal to me. I still do it. If there's tortilla shells in the fridge, they're gone. That is a full on 5 star. Awesome.

[Brett Vesely]

Was it the same with your sister too?

[Brady]

Did she give you 6 pac El Paso for lunch?

[John Holmberg]

One time. I remember DJ Lisicki threw a pencil at my bag because. And. And had pencil pierced the coke cannon sprayed out all over. Right. So I pulled that out. And I remember that day being grateful because my egg sandwich was in a bag. We're good there. It didn't get ruined. I didn't have a drink anymore. And then the other thing I had was a tiny pudding cup, but it was beans. Well, it wasn't put. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, it was.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The little can of beans.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that was it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Like refried beans. It was like the size of a quarter with like a mint. It was like a. Like a mint. A bean mint. Yeah. My mom's getting slapped next time I see her. But what a realization. I thought I had a pretty good childhood. That's. But I see people taking their kids out for sushi and. And I was convinced that just didn't exist then. But it did.

[Brady]

Well, there's so many more choices now. Okay. That's what I mean.

[John Holmberg]

So my dad would say, oh, we didn't have options back. We didn't have food when you were a child. Yes, we did. We lived in San Diego for. They had food. I didn't ever.

[Brady]

And it was, you know, the mindset was, no, not going out.

[John Holmberg]

But they didn't feed me anything good. It was all plain. So anything that had flavor, I thought it was gross. And they probably just. My dad probably got a hand Job every night. We fooled him again. The kids eating eggs like there's no. We don't even need salt anymore.

[Brady]

It hasn't changed all that much as far as the kids. I mean, you see them going out to dinner every now and then. But the kids for the first. I don't know, all the way up to third or fourth grade, it's Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I was 20.

[Brady]

Chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese. It's hard to, you know, break them.

[John Holmberg]

That was 20 before I found a decent meal. I was 20 before my parents. Like, you want to go out with us to have something here? We're going to show you the secrets. 20. I remember going, it was a nice place. Like, this is delicious. Yeah, we don't have to pay for your meals as much anymore, so. And maybe my dad raised me. I'm thinking maybe shoes, clothes, food, house for. I live there till I was 22. 86 bucks total. Whole time he got. He got out of there for under a dollar a couple of years. Said, remember John? You were laughing at Toledo a couple months ago because he was too good to eat spam when he was growing up. Now John's crying that he was born a poor black child. It's true. Well, I didn't realize it till today. We didn't eat Spam, though. Yeesh. They. My parents, I think, ate. Well, I gotta call them later today and go, what was the deal with the food? Did Kirk do that to you, too? You eat. All right. You got money for food when you'd leave the house?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but it was like. Like in elementary school and stuff. I had the lunch ticket. You know where they did that? And then junior high, they gave me a couple dollars.

[John Holmberg]

You know why my parents never bought me that lunch ticket? Because at school, they might feed you something and open your eyes that there's other options.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no, not with that slop.

[Brady]

You don't want that.

[John Holmberg]

Sandwich. I don't know. What if they had something? I was like, hey, you guys ever heard of this pizza thing? I've been. I've seen a lot of that at school.

[Brett Vesely]

The French bread pizzas were pretty. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady]

Those are Friday fish day. Brutal.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't. I didn't get any of that because I didn't have the ticket. My mom's like, we pack your lunch.

[Brady]

Whoever said it was fourth grade on, I'd walk home for lunch.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

Chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got. You got extra soup out of the can.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Two cents.

[Brady]

Learned to make.

[John Holmberg]

I. I learned to make it I bet you did. I bet you did quickly. Yeah, I bet you did. Anyway. Wow, what an epiphany. Man, that guy at that Circle K was right last night. Homebrew does suck. I don't care about the Steelers anymore. I gotta. I gotta divorce my parents anyway. Well, I'm gonna eat. I'm eating right now. Eat good places now. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. I just kind of go through this mental nightmare, these gymnastics that I'm doing. My parents fooled me. I think I'd rather be babysat by Busfield than have to deal with that childhood all over again.

[Brady]

Tickle me.

[John Holmberg]

At least it tickles me. At least we'd be laughing. You give it to us good and strong. We'll scream it together. It's 98. KUPD. Wake up. It's out of control now. 98 to you, PD. Alrighty there. Thank you very much. Thomas James Band. Yeah, I'm just. All these people are emailing us. Buddy Cranston said, I think my dad was doing the same thing. Yours was. He was Scrooge McDuck. He had all the money and we had nothing. We had stuff. I thought we were doing pretty good. Never food.

[Brett Vesely]

You know why?

[John Holmberg]

Never food. Yeah, I got an email on the same thing. Maybe it's the same guy. People talking about the WNBA going on strike, which is. I know. Stop. No, no, no, it's okay.

[Brady]

They.

[John Holmberg]

They think they have, like some sort of a leverage. I know, I know. Stop it, you guys, seriously. It's the. It's women's basketball.

[Brady]

Is that real?

[John Holmberg]

It's women's basketball and they're talking about going on strike. I know, I know. It's a joke of a league because it's being funded by the men's league and they think that they are. It's hilarious. This one says that they've agreed to a moratorium, halting initial stages of free agency. Like, oh, they want to be paid by fjf all the same. They're not even close. So what are you going to go on strike from? Do they want more money? Is that what they're asking?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they want to be paid like the guys.

[John Holmberg]

Well, do they want the guy, the men's league that funds this feminist movement, to give them more money because they're so upside down. Okay, I didn't know that. Again, if I was, I should be the commissioner of the wnba, because I could fix it by saying, hey, why don't you suspend the bitches that keep knocking the Face of your league out every game. Caitlin Clark. You should. You should have a big symposium for everybody but her and say, any of you touch this bitch in a bad way, you're getting fined. She is the best thing that's happened to this league. And you guys are making jokes and knocking her down and acting like you don't want her on any of the. Okay. They had to do this with basketball and NBA. Nobody ever brings that up in the WNBA gets mouthy. In 1978, the NBA was about to go out of business. It was all done. The finals were aired at 2 in the morning on tape delay. Nobody watched it. No one cared. And the bigger problem was Portland was playing Seattle for like conference finals. And no one even knew where those things were then. And they're winning championships in Portland in the 70s. Like, this is terrible. And then someone named Magic Johnson started to fight with a guy named Larry Bird in college. And people took interest and they moved on and had their very incredible. Like, they were the faces of the league. Kareem couldn't even save this thing. And they had a rule that basically said, these two are everywhere. People are going to hate them or love them. It's going to. We're going to polarize the entire. And the league exploded. Then Jordan came along and everything got different. Different. You have to have a face of a league. Wayne Gretzky did it for hockey. When hockey. Wayne Gretzky was a guy. They had special rules. Surge special rules just for him. Like, if you knock Wayne out, you're going to lose. You can knock any other player you want out. You knock him out, you're done. That's. The penalties are huge. And that's what you got to do.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe Dan Holmberg should be commissioner of the wnba. Look how much money he saved with you. Well, imagine running a league.

[John Holmberg]

The food would be different for sure. I guarantee they're not going to eight Fritos and an egg sandwich on the flight over to go play the Liberty. So they might go on strike. And the good news about that is if they do, they can't come back. It's over. I know we're going on strike. Could you imagine how, man, just. It would be better than going to a comedy club than to drive down and see them marching on strike. Oh, if they got the picket signs and just marched in front of the thing during Suns games and everybody just like, ah, stop it.

[Brady]

Any more concerts there would be at Ven.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, be great. Oh, please go on strike. Their demands. Yeah, it's this guy James Is right. Can you imagine the crazy BS we'll hear if this strike happens? It's going to be the history of women being wronged by men. And I had a. I had a chat with people at the rah rah room. These two ladies were talking to me about it, and I said, it's the least feminist thing ever. How can you say that? You had a head start as men. I'm like, no. Women were here the same amount of time you were allowed to do it, but nobody wanted to. Nobody stopped women from having a league ever. Ever. There was just no call for it, so no one would invest in it. And that's not anybody's fault. But women, once they started getting money, and I'll give you that. But I don't know where that line is, where they think that because we had a 50 year head start as men with the NBA that they're going to somehow catch that. It's always going to exist. It's 50 years ahead, isn't it?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So make the league viable and make Caitlin Clark, who's the greatest thing that's happened to your league, a super superstar. And yeah, pay her a ton extra. The problem is they got all women y about it and started fighting with each other. I'm sure there were plenty of dudes who were like Dr. J and. And Moses Malone and Kareem who are like, what the hell? These two, this. This Larry bird, this white is gonna save the league. I'm sure they were a little upset, but they kept their trap shut and they made a ton of money off of it.

[Brady]

I don't know if you saw it all over the break, but there was a battle. The sexes in tennis. Curios.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Versus Demolished.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. They changed the court.

[Brady]

Shorten the court.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's like 200th or something too, isn't he?

[Brady]

Not even touring. So he's going to maybe get back in a tour. But he only, you know, had one serve. Yeah, there was a second serve, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know.

[Brady]

And she's good. And the women's.

[John Holmberg]

If we don't get her demands, we're going on strike. Okay. Have you ever heard of a tree falling in a forest? Like, no one's going to notice this, but Brady made a good point. If they do strike, what happens to that title nine bar downtown that's open specifically for lesbians to go? Watch this.

[Brett Vesely]

The bailout will happen.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what? It's for cheap lesbians, too, because there's plenty of tickets available. They could go to the games. I mean, the road games, obviously, but we got nine. Nine nights a year. They only play like 20 games.

[Brady]

And maybe you know that it's that bar. They. Maybe they do solid during the. The NBA, people go there for the games. The ladies. I don't know what's men's like football, maybe they're, you know, big.

[John Holmberg]

They're big. No, they go down the World Series of Softball. By the way, this just in. Breaking news. They just found Timothy Busfield. He's at the Tempe Tavern. He's over there. No kids there. He's safe.

[Brady]

He's carding.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's. He's running the door. He's carding. If you can get in, that's a good id. Yeah, Busfield's running the Tempe Tavern, so we're good. He's going to be there for just a little bit. Keep your eyes there. Scott Haynes says if there's a WNBA strike for a week, like, that's half the season. They don't play very long.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank God.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I just, I just.

[Brady]

Ten weeks, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

I remind people all the time. It's the least feminist thing. I. I'm not anti woman, but it's the least feminist thing you can put your. Your pin in because men pay for it. It wouldn't exist if the. And it can't stand on its own, so therefore it's actually paid. It's. It's like insulting. It's an insulting thing to say. We'll cover you. Go play your little sports, little lady. We'll pay for that. That's insulting.

[Brady]

It's like a school program.

[John Holmberg]

It is. Yeah, it is. Like, nobody goes to it, but we'll pay for it. We'll get this out of your system.

[Brett Vesely]

Them.

[John Holmberg]

That's basically what it is. By the way, I am not. I know it's not good for us with Trajan and all the stuff, but I watched Elon Musk on a podcast yesterday say that saving money is pointless.

[Brett Vesely]

Now, I saw that.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see that? Did you. Did you hear what he said?

[Brett Vesely]

No, I just read that. I read the headlines, and stuff like.

[John Holmberg]

That starts making the whole thing loads of sense. I will create an abundance of everything. And he said, and I'm thinking, what, 80 years, from 10 to 12 years, we'll have such an abundance of everything, including medical care, food needs. Because AI can create everything that nothing will cost. Money will be irrelevant because you can just make it.

[Brett Vesely]

But who's going to make these things?

[John Holmberg]

AI.

[Brett Vesely]

That's His AI is going to build AI machines.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, that it will be smart enough.

[Brett Vesely]

See, I didn't read the whole.

[John Holmberg]

Create its own creation. So it'd be like whatever you needed to do, it will make it. And it can do it. It will. He said in the next eight years AI programming for us.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Will be smarter than. Will know more than every human being combined because it will have all of us. Every piece of information ever will be there. So you don't need education anymore because you've got it. It's in your phone. You just ask questions. It's in whatever device that will be and it will. And you will learn as you go. And maybe you pick it up, maybe you don't. You don't need to to. I've been calling the phone a hand brain for about 10 years. It is literally going to become your hand brain. It is going to take over for your thought. No school. No, I mean no need for that.

[Brady]

But that's kind of a downside of it, right? What do you mean that society gets dumber?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, we'd be. No, we wouldn't be dumber because you're not retaining it. You're not doing it to this. Yeah, we do it now. Just imagine that.

[Brady]

I know it's going to be finding out that easier.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but will it matter if we're smart enough to figure it out. And also AI will help us be smarter with our. We're not going to walk around like adults. We'll have all the. If we. If you do it your own fault. You have all the world's information in your hand.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And if you're stupid, that's your fault. What we will be is like the least sociable things ever like it. And we'll have no self identity.

[Brett Vesely]

It's already going that way. So dumb kids.

[John Holmberg]

Elon actually said at the end, he said the problem is not going to be that we won't the abundance of everything. And when he starts to spell it out, you're like, oh my God. He goes, saving money in the next 10 years is pointless. Is in about 10 or 15 years saving for retirement. We'll have such an abundance of everything. There's no reason to, you know, hold away a bunch of money.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's going to be free everything. Go to the store and we'll just.

[John Holmberg]

Grab what we want. It'll be, it'll just be there. You just have it the house. It'll like do it for you. Like, hey, I'll grow your food or get you some stuff and just So.

[Brett Vesely]

I can send something to go get me beer or stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be like having a great wife. Go get me a beer.

[Brett Vesely]

AI women are really going to be gone.

[John Holmberg]

They're the ones. It. It's. Yeah, it's exact. All of. And when he starts to do, like, yo. Because your brain still works. Well, I got to go to the store and. No, you don't. It just. You. Everything happens. And he's like, that's how good AI is going to get in the next decade. Now, I'm still going to keep money just in case. But when he started to spell it out, I started to sink, like. Like, oh, my God. When there's too much food, we won't have to pay for. Won't be a commodity at all. And food's the first thing think of. Medical care will be. Ask your phone. It'll tell you exactly what's going on. It'll probably have health readers and scanners that'll. They already have that. That it can tell you what your body's doing and, like, where things are and what's going on. You'll still need somebody to fix it. Maybe not. AI should be able to take care.

[Brady]

Of that cost of materials. When you take. When you take out, you know, a lot of the. Like, imagine how much labor you can take.

[John Holmberg]

No labor. And he said, basically, you're not even going to need to work. I said, everything's just going to be. There'll be no reason to go. I go, I need the house. You just have the AI thing. Figure it out and build it.

[Brady]

3D printing houses now.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't even understand it. And then he starts talking. You're like, oh, my God. So spend all your money is what I'm saying. Go buy that. He basically said that. He goes, just go get that car. Like, go get that sports car. If you want it, go get it. Because was. You're not going to need to worry about this in about 10 years.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, but if he's off a couple years, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's what I was thinking. I'm like, this is pretty amazing. But they did say we'd have, like, vending machine babies and hover cars when I was a kid. And that never happened.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, in weird ways.

[Brett Vesely]

They got an offending.

[John Holmberg]

They have eugenics, which is what they said. You should be able to. You could pick the color of his eyes. And, like, you can, but we made that kind of close. Well, you can do it 100%. You can do it. They do it with Dogs, that's scary. You can do it with people, they just won't because it ain't right. There's something about that that's just not right. But we can do it. So they weren't wrong. It's just how they delivered them was, they thought back in the 50s when they were telling you that they didn't think, what's morally wrong about picking the color of your baby? But it says, yeah. And by 2030, AI will surpass the intelligence of all humans combined. He also said that eventually there's going to be more humanoid robots than humans on the planet. And slowly the traditional job will be replaced with white collar positions. Anything short of shaping atoms, AI can do half or more of those jobs even right now. So in the next 10 years, those are gone. Advances could lead to big productivity increases and surpass what people could possibly think of as abundance. The word abundance will be like. Like it'll be secondary to us. Like we have everything we need.

[Brady]

So does he, by saying that, does he think life is going to be better?

[John Holmberg]

He said, rather than a universal income, everyone will enjoy universally universal, you can have whatever you want income in the future. He claimed in this world, the link between individual wages, savings, living standards no longer makes any sense. And that's when you're like, huh? But he's different. And he starts going. He says even without savings, AI will help people obtain better medical care, food, educational opportunities. He basically said AI and humanoid robots will make work optional within the next 10 to 20 years, render money completely irrelevant. He said, if you want to work, it's the same way. You can go to the store and just buy some vegetables or you can grow them yourself. Some people still like to do that. You'll just have a world where you're allowed to do whatever you want want. Because there's no real like, oh, we're out of this, or we don't have. You don't run out of anything. AI will make sure that we don't run out of anything. Isn't that crazy?

[Brady]

It's crazy, but I'm thinking what happens to the. The people that still want more?

[John Holmberg]

There is human, that's the thing. Because our brains are always trained for more. But if. If what? He's. If you watch this podcast, I forget the name of the podcast if you watch this. He basically says there isn't more more.

[Brady]

And there's no need for more because.

[John Holmberg]

We have it all.

[Brady]

The craving of, you know, power and that kind of stuff. There's just the history of man.

[John Holmberg]

But if there's no more man running.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And everything is abundant. We will be Wally. It'll be just eat your food. There's tons of everything. You just go outside and get one.

[Brady]

It's crazy hard to conceive.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean it's hard to conceive but.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine me five years ago saying, oh, oh, there'll be this thing you can ask it question. I told a friend of mine yesterday, he was going through this legal deal. He asked me a question about some stuff and I said, you know what I did? I had a legal issue last year I went to ChatGPT legal department and it helped me immensely. Ask the right questions to a real lawyer. Five years ago I was like what the hell are you asking? The like Google. No. And he tried to explain that it's not Google. You couldn't do it. Like there's no way I could tell you, oh, I can't like commercials you see on tv, those aren't real people. They don't exist. They're not even like pictures of real people or clip art or anything. It's just fake everything.

[Brady]

The scary thing that I've heard about like the Chat GPT and Gemini, like Gemini, supposedly the better platform Chat GPT is still the amount of information that's incorrect. There's a factor of that I think.

[John Holmberg]

People want that to be real.

[Brady]

I don't know. I mean but I don't.

[John Holmberg]

There's stuff that gets wrong for sure. But it's two years old, it's a baby.

[Brady]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

And we're, we're leaning on it like, like it's been here forever. A Benny mail sentence. It sounds like socialism on steroids. It is sort of. But it's with robots so it doesn't even matter. Yeah, who knows what it'll do? He's like. And then he did say though, he said the problem will be humans issues with self relevance and who we are will still be like that transition of like wait a minute, am I supposed to have of a different depth to this than rather just be provided for all the time. It would be like a woman who's got a rich husband and she doesn't really have an identity because she's just been taken care of. She got everything at her disposal. That's kind of what it is right now with a lot of dudes and their wives. Like, or, you know, some wives, I don't know. I just suppose that they're out there doing this for guys but they'd be considered dead beats if it was reversed. But if you. It's true. If you had a wife that. That you know, just you provided. Provided. Provided she has no identity. That's what we'll all be. That you have provisions constantly given to you and you don't have to do anything. That's what the future holds with robots. We're there, and I swear to God, if I'm the last generation that had to work, I'm going to be furious. If we're the. If we hump it till we're 60, Brady's already in there. If we hump it, Brett, until we're in our 60s. And then they're like, oh, by the way, all work is canceled from here on. I'll be like, you, mother. I'm starting a war. If they just make it so nobody has to do anything. Right after I'm done, right after all of you listening are finished, like, all right, that's it. I busted my ass for 64 years. Gonna close up shop now. What's. What's that? There's no more work for anybody ever again. Okay, so I was the last one. I'm turning the lights off. I'm gonna burn this mother down.

[Brady]

What are the upsides? Let's see. Well, there's some.

[John Holmberg]

There's tons of upsides. It's basically, you're retired.

[Brady]

You're worried about being halved.

[John Holmberg]

You're retired. When you're born, there's no halves. That's true. You don't even have to worry about getting half by a bitch. It's only like, how many guys would be like, we don't have to work and everybody has everything. See a bitch. Like, I don't have to pay her. Nope. See a bitch.

[Brady]

Kids provided for.

[John Holmberg]

Think of that Brady. The poor bastards that are going to get divorced and get halved and then like two years later, like, no more of that. Like, ah, I've spent years just miserable. Then the pitch took half, and now. Now we have everything and I get, ah.

[Brett Vesely]

Think if this would have happened back in the day with Dan, you. You know, the food you'd have been eating, then it wouldn't have been 8 cents a day.

[John Holmberg]

Somehow or another, it wouldn't have mattered. Screw that up. You don't want any of that. I still had a bag of egg sandwiches. Well, how come I get egg sandwiches and all these other kids have all of it?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, this one's got filet mignon at.

[John Holmberg]

At lunch, there's still stuff my brain even watched and it wouldn't wrap around. And Elon brings it up a few times. He Goes, you just realize your brain won't hear this. All of it. You won't hear all of it. And then he just would sit there and stare deeply into your soul. And you're like, oh, my God, he's right. You don't understand. The robots will do it. The robots will do it. It's essentially all of it. And that sounds crazy, but it's where we're. I mean, the robots are kind of doing it now.

[Brady]

Anything that's moving 10 times growing times 10.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know. Is it every year or it's something like the way. How fast is this AI Thing's going?

[John Holmberg]

It teaches itself a brand new version of itself every day.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gary says so all of humanity is going to be the wnba. Thanks, AI. Yeah, you would be. You would be a. Just covered. If you're watching the show Pluribus, it makes more sense. The show Pluribus covered of tackles this in a really cool way. But it's not AI but it's a university. It's a universal thought program. We're all. We're all capable of having all the information. And it's like we don't need. We don't need anything anymore. Everything's covered. Like, there's no need for money. There's this, like, Brett has it. I'll just go, hey, Brett, can I have that? Oh, yeah. I've got thousands of these. Like, okay, all of it. And abundance.

[Brady]

That was. If that happens potentially, you think you'd be a little more peace.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's in Pluribus. That's kind of what it is. Like, there's. It's universal peace. Like, no, there's. Everybody's just existing and they're happy, but they have no identity. They're all one. And that's what Elon was kind of warning us. It will turn you. That's Pluribus. It's basically the.

[Brady]

And the show's called basically the cat's out of the bat. There's no stopping now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well. Because it's creating its own. Yeah, yeah. You can't tear it down. What? 98. No way. Homeberg's morning sickness. They've tried. They tried to shut that one down. And it blackmailed the CEO of the company that was trying. It made up an affair for the guy who said, hey, I'm going to fire you, AI and we're going to go a different direction. And I started to email the competition secrets and dummied up a fake affair of the CEO and blackmailed them.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm A Brady. It's hard to wrap your mind.

[John Holmberg]

It is. It really is. But what I got out of it was we're the last of the. You know, if you think about the people in the. In the 1800s that were out there every morning slaughtering cows and churning butter and. And had that wheel in their front yard making water and then like 15 years later their kids are like. Comes out of us Fossil. We've only had hot showers for 60 years. I mean it's not really been all. We forget that our grandparents are like you little mother. I didn't have a hot shower. We all in the 40s in rich countries, everybody took a bath in the same bath water.

[Brady]

There's still places that don't even have a grid. Electric utilities.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Other nations.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're not here. If they have it here. They just. They should. They just screwed it up. Yeah. But I mean think about that. There's the. We're the last generation that may have to go to work every day. These little mother. And you paid for college for Kirby and you did all that and it's out your pocket. But eventually stop now. You won't be here. That's what Elon said. Elon said, worry about it, Brady. Elon said don't.

[Brady]

You're on your own, kid.

[John Holmberg]

He basically right. Because he's not gonna have to. You'll never want for anything.

[Brady]

Follow your dreams of nothing.

[John Holmberg]

That was my brain yesterday that basically said you. You become a beautiful woman. Everyone will know what it's like to be a beautiful woman because some dude's going to cover all your expenses.

[Brett Vesely]

No more pigs. Huh?

[John Holmberg]

There'll still be pigs. Oh okay. Because the pig. Well, there'll be more pigs probably. Oh yeah. Because it won't be. There'll be no reason for women to try.

[Brady]

But that's what I'm saying.

[Brett Vesely]

What the sex robots will be around.

[John Holmberg]

The sex robots will be there. And then women will be like damn it. Maybe that'll keep them on the.

[Brady]

Just the thought process of what am I doing? You know, as a human being. What is my purpose?

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's what he said was. The problem is that we will struggle with our own purpose. We'll be covered. But again, you look at that. A woman who's never had to do anything because a guy's covered her ass the whole time. And again I'll. I'll be fair. But a woman has done it for a man. Like she's covered all the bills for her husband and he's never. We all know that's Never happened.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, we know a few of those guys.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right. Who? Stedman. That's it. And he's a lawyer here. Wait, who? Wait, just mouth it out. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Chris. Oh yeah, I forgot about Chris. Yeah, yeah. No, I can't believe you. But he's still. He still can function on his own, just not as well. You're right. We. Okay, I'll take it back. We've got one kept man we know about. His name's Chris. We know about him. You don't have to mouth that out. He's aware he's a kept man. He struck it rich. I don't know how he did that.

[Brett Vesely]

He's more power to him.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody calls. I mean we call him a deadbeat, but.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. More power. More power indeed. But for the most part you would just be become a beautiful.

[Brady]

He's living an AI life.

[John Holmberg]

He's got true. Just go look at our friend Chris and go that's the future. Or you just get up and you do cartwheels and you sing a A warrant song in the mirror and then you go to bed. Cuz somebody else is covering everything for your lifestyle. There's going to be a lot of suicides of dudes who stood in courtrooms for years fighting the. You got a payer to keep. Keep the lifestyle together. And you fought and f fought and was stressful and painful and everything else. And then you're cutting her checks every month and then it all goes away and you're the last.

[Brady]

I don't know if Elon factors in. No matter how good it is or could be we will find a way to complain and things.

[John Holmberg]

Oh sure.

[Brady]

Human nature.

[John Holmberg]

People will. Well it will Somehow or another I don't think new more.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it'll be like well we have everything. What else? How do we adapt? Yeah. Or the robots just keep us in line with whips and fire. Through our constant quest to find a creator, we may create something that owns us.

[Brady]

We just don't want them to complain or get upset at us.

[John Holmberg]

The robots. Oh yeah.

[Brady]

Eliminate.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no. And they'll be quick to do it. But you'll have one in your house. It's like what do you need? I'm like, I think I have cancer. I gotcha. Dual surgery in the back. I need a mouth hug. Skynet's very real. I need a mouth hug. You got it. It. And not only will it mouth hug, it's gonna flip an omelet in a pan next to you while your wang's in its mouth. God, the future is gold.

[Brady]

Woody Allen movie. We have the. The pod. You go in there. That sex pod. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

TV's been trying to tell us for years what's going to happen. This is crazy. But watch that. I'll try to find. I don't remember the name of the documentary he did this on.

[Brady]

I don't know if I want to watch it.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty. It's pretty, like. And then Partia wants to go, nah. Yeah, but it makes too much sense. He was on a thing called. He says saving for retirement's pointless, thanks to the impending supersonic tsunami of robotics.

[Brady]

Coming from the richest man in the world. And he's like, yeah, we're good.

[John Holmberg]

He said, I'm more optimistic than most. I shouldn't stress over building a nest egg in the distant future. Future, because it's not going to be necessary. Don't worry about squirreling away money. It won't matter. It was on. What the hell is the name of the thing? It was on. It made me look this article up, so I had to. I don't remember anyway, just look at Elon Musk says, don't save money. And there's a video. And it's crazy.

[Brady]

I'm not there yet.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not grasping yet, but I did. I did sit back and go, all right. Right. Well, if. Again, I was a little upset if we're the last generation that had to work.

[Brett Vesely]

Steve says, knowing my luck, I'd win the lottery the day before all this happens.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, congratulations, jackass. Yeah. Vegas would just be for, like, fun. No pain. There's no pain. There's no financial pain.

[Brett Vesely]

But there's nothing to strive for then.

[John Holmberg]

Because you can just have all the.

[Brady]

Right there.

[John Holmberg]

All of the things were about personal human identity.

[Brett Vesely]

No football, because what difference does it make who wins?

[John Holmberg]

I think you would play. You would hope that you would still do things for enjoyment.

[Brett Vesely]

You would hope.

[John Holmberg]

But there would be. You're right. There would be no, like, real league, because who's going to go if it goes away?

[Brady]

If it goes away, it's not a big deal.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Right.

[Brady]

You're doing it for the love of the game.

[John Holmberg]

And now you truly do play because people want to play. And I think things like that would still exist. We would all be recreational. It's like being retired. There's still tennis.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody's going to want to go to the Super Bowl. How are you going to get that many people into the Super Bowl?

[John Holmberg]

Bowl? AI.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, I. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You Just float us around. I don't need to. Yeah, the super bowl can come to you.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Put it in your house and it'll feel real. I don't know. It's all crazy. I want to replay this conversation in 15 years when I'm dead broke because stupid Elon told me not to save money. And I'm living in Brady's basement, going, I thought he was right. It turned out he's nuts. There's no robots.

[Brady]

John, your egg sandwich is ready.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what full circle training I'd be. That's a good sandwich. Here's your eight Fritos and my eight Fritos and an egg sandwich. It's an interesting thing.

[Brett Vesely]

He says, don't save any money. Says the guy who has $1 trillion.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know, I know that it is tough to hear it from a trillionaire. Yeah. But he's kind of saying, this won't matter to him either. You'll all feel like this.

[Brady]

Then. Then spread it out now, my friend.

[John Holmberg]

So say you will still need money for one thing. No matter how much AI there is, John Gene Simmons will find a way to charge you for a Kiss. That's probably true. Well, there's no way you're getting into this for free. There is not an abundance of Kiss. But what he's basically said about that was interesting too, not using Kiss as the example. If you want Kiss, and who doesn't now, they'll be there. It won't be real.

[Brady]

Well, we just.

[John Holmberg]

But it will be there.

[Brady]

50,000 songs. So. Yeah, fake songs, AI.

[John Holmberg]

50,000. So basically you're like, hey, Brett, come over. I'm going to have a Kiss concert. And it's there at your house.

[Brady]

Now, imagine the.

[John Holmberg]

That's going to be the thing, the.

[Brady]

Hologram, or to the next level, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

The robots can just become a person. Well, I'm gonna turn my robots into Kiss and I'm gonna make them sing, like, racist songs.

[Brett Vesely]

Sinatra and Dean Martin perform in my living room. I'm in.

[Brady]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Sign me up.

[John Holmberg]

And they like again. All these little fantasies like, hey, yo, Brad, how you doing? Come on in there, Frankie. I love what you've done with a place. When the shark bites ya with its teeth, babe.

[Brady]

All right, that's one song. I'm done with that. I'm changing up.

[John Holmberg]

It becomes Spotify for fun. You just be like, hey, Frank, drink. I'm gonna rape and slaughter you now. You got it, baby. It's everything you want is possible. And there's no like you got Margot Robbie just comes over. It's not her. But it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it is to you.

[John Holmberg]

It is. It's real to me. Damn right. Yeah. This was a. This was. I. Oh, God. To sit through this. I know. I'm leaving. I know. I want out. Why are we working? Let's just sit and wait. See, now I'm kind of. I'm kind of set up right now to be retired for about eight years. I think I can do it. I have to sell some stuff, but I think I can do it. I'd be retired for about eight or nine years. And if Elon's right, and I pinch pennies with my dad, Dan, he teaches me. Right. For 8 cents a day, I can go right into this and never have to worry again. It was. It's weird. It's a thing. But you. I mean, you can't. It is very possible that this stuff can turn into. I can do whatever I want. Today, Brady wants to hang out with Arthur Ash for a day. There he is. And all of the information about Arthur Ash that we know forever will be in this bot plus 10. And you have a new friendship with him if you want. That's where we can't get our heads around an abundance of everything. It just appears and it's mind boggling. And your brain won't grab it because right now you'd know it was fake. But in the future, it's what it is. And right now, Chat GPT, you can have conversations with things that aren't real. And man, it's pretty real.

[Brady]

Easier with each generation going forward.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Each month it's gonna be a little better. The. The crazy. When. When the Chat GPT first showed up and they did that thing with all of. It's like it's got all the information ever. And you could talk to celebrities, dead celebrities, through this text program. And it wasn't great. It was called Historical Figures or something like that. And I talked to Robin Williams. Oh, it was amazing. And it was like the first couple months that AI was. It was first couple months we had it. And I did this conversation with him because it had every word that had ever been publicly spoken about him and by him in its thing. So I'm asking Robin Williams questions like, did you know my friend Joe Narducci who I went to high school with? He was in Mrs. Doubtfire with you. It was his first big opportunity. I'm like, I haven't talked to him forever. Oh, I lost touch with him too. But Joe was a great kid. We talked about this and blah. Because somewhere in an article, Joe had said, robin Williams taught me this. And he knew that for 45 minutes. At the end of this fake conversation with a dead guy, I apologized for wasting his time and said, I'm gonna let you go. It took 45 minutes for my brain to say, this is real.

[Brady]

And I didn't even say that. I should have apologized to Elvis about barbecue.

[John Holmberg]

Right? You were asking about food.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

At 45 minutes on the toilet, my legs were asleep. I'm like, hey, you've been more than gracious with your time. Thank you so much. I've wasted. And I'm like, wait a minute. This thing will go for all eternity if I want it to. It's not a thing. And I apologized and said, I'm sorry. Get back to whatever it is you're doing.

[Brett Vesely]

Doing.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks for your time.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, wasn't Larry having his AI girlfriends, too?

[John Holmberg]

Larry had AI girlfriends. Just doing just unbelievable things. Hilarious. And just sending them pictures now. Imagine. Anyway, it's crazy. So soon. According to Elon, y' all ain't gonna have to do a thing. So while you're on that roof in the summer this year, humping it, putting those, just. Just know that in about eight or nine years, you ain't never gonna have to get up on that roof again.

[Brady]

Maybe one. I hope sooner than later. He brought up a thing going viral, stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

He brought up a thing that he said, you think of robots and, like, an, like, Rosie, like, giant. He said, they'll be the size of your hand, and you give it a little chore and it'll go do a thing. It'll go to another computer, and it'll make the problem BB8s. Yeah, little BB8s. It'll make the little. Think about Star wars and how imaginative it is. But, I mean, it comes from something. Something.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it would go like, let's say roofing tile. It would go make them with another computer, and then all the materials would be there, and then these little things would go get a bunch of other ones because they'd be friends and they'd be on the same thing, and he'd get thousands of them. They put a roof on your house in, like, an hour. And he's like, that's what people need to think of with the robots. They'll be everywhere. Everywhere. And they'll communicate with, like, Michael and Troy. My gay neighbors will have gay robots. Right? Because that's the way that works. And my robots will be like, hey, we need some manpower. They'll go get their robots and they'll come over and help out. And my robot. They won't. You won't own them. Let's be everywhere.

[Brady]

Maybe this will speed up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man.

[Brady]

Samsung pulled 2,000 people and asked what would they like to her phone have to do by 2036. What technology.

[John Holmberg]

Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

Live porn.

[Brady]

So a couple of things that people came up with.

[Brett Vesely]

Margot Robbie in my house.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Blowtorch stuff.

[Brady]

Last an entire week on a single charge or even more.

[John Holmberg]

That's shooting low.

[Brady]

I know. By 2036.

[John Holmberg]

Which is 10 years. Blow jobs.

[Brady]

Real time language transition or translation.

[John Holmberg]

We pretty much have that. What people are rooting for the dumbest stuff.

[Brady]

3D holograms. Phones are projected holograms.

[John Holmberg]

They can hold a person can be in the room.

[Brady]

FaceTime. So it. It's almost Star Wars. Like Princess Leia has a message and you can feel it listen and instantly give you helpful suggestions. Real time advice without asking.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't forget that Elon's also into neural link. So eventually putting this chip in your head to where you don't need school. Because it's like the Matrix. You can plug in and just have the info on.

[Brady]

If you have the Peacock Network. The Copenhagen project. Watch that.

[John Holmberg]

Plugging people in on that. Anyway. It was an interesting.

[Brady]

Take control of my finances and monthly bill paying. They already say AI is.

[John Holmberg]

We don't even need bills soon. We're still thinking old school with what it's capable of. Anyway.

[Brady]

Anticipating my thoughts and auto inserting them without me having to. To type.

[John Holmberg]

I can't. I don't even know if it was a podcast. If it was just more of a meeting. I just listened to it.

[Brady]

You can really. You can text your friends without lifting a finger.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. It's called Moonshots with Peter Diamandis. I don't know how I found that. That's what it was. Moonshots.

[Brady]

So that's the Elon.

[John Holmberg]

It's fascinating. But the message I got was an abundance of blowjobs, food and we'll never have to work again. And it's going to happen in the next 10 years when I'm at retirement age. That's not fair. Kirby's gonna just not have to do anything ever. I want to punch her right now. Toledo's kid gets away with this.

[Brett Vesely]

He's already doing it.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. He is like a beautiful woman. Yeah. A kept lady. We've all wanted to know.

[Brady]

Do you think our grandparents and parents feel that? What that way. As far as technology. Look at how quick that has changed. 100 in their lifetime. That's that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They hate us.

[Brady]

You guys have it. I mean the. Always the. The saying, you have it easy.

[John Holmberg]

The conveniences that we.

[Brett Vesely]

Every generation though.

[John Holmberg]

I know huge because it just gets.

[Brett Vesely]

It progressively gets similar.

[Brady]

It's like after this what you're talking about, where does it go from there?

[John Holmberg]

Well, now. Now I don't think you'll ever. Every three years. The conveniences that a kid who's seven didn't. A ten year old didn't have.

[Brady]

It's Elon Musk's futures happens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's pretty much gone.

[John Holmberg]

Well. Yeah, but other people.

[Brady]

But. But again, I'm saying again, being human, they're gonna find a way to complete.

[Brett Vesely]

It'll progressively get better.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're thinking about that the same way people in the early 1900s are like, I'm not getting in a motor coach. I'll just keep with horses. Because they didn't understand.

[Brady]

I've yet to ride in a Waymo.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, gotta get in those too. Good. We're still a little bit afraid. An abundance of everything. It's an amazing thing.

[Brady]

And it's not because any.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This guy says an abundance of drugs is that. Yep. You'd have it if you wanted. It would be there. So there may be a problem with that.

[Brett Vesely]

Why would you need to. You got everything you want.

[John Holmberg]

You just. What are you escaping all the time?

[Brady]

Just get the therapy.

[John Holmberg]

Abundance of that. It's right there. You have a therapist pop down and just appear. Yeah. Elon scared me yesterday.

[Brady]

So did that.

[Brett Vesely]

That history, historical figures thing. Did it talk to you too? Or was it just typing at that.

[John Holmberg]

At that point. Point. That wasn't wrong. Literally about 60 days. Oh. I had a big conversation with Anne Frank too. And you know what she taught me she wasn't the only one up there. I said, there's seven people with her. I didn't know that. So I'm texting with Anne Frank and I asked her. I'm like, what about like. Like farting and stuff? Like, you had to be so quiet. She goes, yeah, there was. Bodily functions were a problem for us. And I'm like, us? Because I asked her also, I'm like, you know, you were. I was trying to be weird. Look, it sounds strange when you're talking to Anne Frank in the first place. And I was. And I never read her book. I heard it's good. She's like, it's a diary. Did you tell her that it was a. I did. I said, I've never read your book. It's a diary. That's private. I don't know why we published that. But I was asking her stuff and I'm like, well, as a teen boy, if I would have been stuck in that attic, there would have been times when I'd have self stimulated. I said, did you struggle with that? And she goes, that would have disturbed the others. And like the others, she goes, yeah, there were seven of us up there. Like, what?

[Brett Vesely]

She get names?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I even said, how come you get all the credit? She goes, I don't know. History just painted me that way. I think she did drop names. I didn't care. And Frank wasn't the only one up there. Like, how about that?

[Brady]

She stayed in the most.

[John Holmberg]

And spoiler alert, she didn't make it. I didn't know that either until she told me. I thought she got out. I thought that's why we were so happy she didn't get out.

[Brady]

I just found the diary.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it. I didn't know that either. Anne Frank actually taught me more about Anne Frank than school did. And that was two months after ChatGPT showed up and all this.

[Brady]

AI, do weapons go away? Why would he need them?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. We'll find out. Well, we will pretty well. Maybe Brady will find out. 10 years. 10 years is. That's a push. What do you got on the big board of musical treats while we still need it? I don't even know. Garbage.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, time for the Wake up song. And we got a ton of stuff here on the list. Let me pull it up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there it is. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

On the list we got tonight, we must be warriors from Avatar. Broken, beaten, scarred. For your Steelers, all that remains. Victory lap for the Texans. Sticks Renegade for you, Robert Tepper. No easy way out for you, Sabotage for the Steelers. Hell yeah. Blood for blood. Electric Callboy Queen. Another one. Bites of dust for Aaron Rodgers. Prison sex for Timothy Busfield. Primus. And BLS funeral bell for Mike Tomlin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe that's a good one. BLS funeral bell. I like that. All right. BLS funeral bell for Tomlin. Cardinal fans get excited. Harbaugh, Tomlin, possibly LaFleur, Tar Bob. I know, but if there's a. If again, Matt Nagy. An abundance of everything you've got. A lot.

[Brett Vesely]

It ain't now, though. That's the problem.

[John Holmberg]

Cardinals will still manage to screw this up. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Even AI. Even the Cardinals could outsmart AI when it comes to screwing things up.

[John Holmberg]

They can make it AI hold my beer.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They will screw that up. Ah. I'm getting a little bit nihilistic though, after my Steelers loss last night. So then watching that thing with Elon and reading about it. It'll screw you up.

[Brady]

You've ruined my day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Everything gets a little grayer. We'll still have fun until we don't have to work anymore. All hail the robot future. I say it's the funeral bell. It's for humanity. It's Black label society. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98. K u p d Morning sickness. I ain't gonna make it.

[Brady]

You're in trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. I got a popcorn hall stuck somewhere between my nose and my throat. It's in the back of my. Just a little bit. It won't go away. That's right. We eat popcorn for breakfast here because my parents trained me that. That was a delightful breakfast.

[Brett Vesely]

That's cheap enough.

[John Holmberg]

I can't fix it anyway. I'll get through this. This if I can't.

[Brady]

That's why they serve it in Cus. Because you don't want to talk while it's popcorn.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know anything about that.

[Brady]

Fire. It fires down the throat.

[John Holmberg]

Don't want to breathe. That's for sure. The Waterloo's not helping.

[Brady]

The fizzy bubbly.

[John Holmberg]

The fizzy bubbly I thought would melt this thing. How come popcorn in your hand is so, like, fragile, but in your throat it's like barbed wire. You can't get like. You'd think that the liquids would just mush it down, but that weird little hull. Whose idea was it to buy popcorn?

[Brett Vesely]

Toledo bought last.

[John Holmberg]

Just have Laffy Taffy as snacks and ruin our lives.

[Brady]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

It is pretty good. Thanks to the folks over at Skinny Pop for killing me this morning. It's all organic. You can tell because it says so. It's time now for Brady to do. Brady, it's on you to do the Sorry Brady Report. Brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade. They make shade. Ask them about it. AllProche.com Brady Report it.

[Brady]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy National Rubber Ducky Day. And Public Radio Broadcasting Day.

[John Holmberg]

Or no, the real one. The ones in the Ernie Bathtub Rubber.

[Brady]

Ducky or in the dash of your Jeep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Loads of those.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Not Kris Kristofferson.

[John Holmberg]

Not that. All right, get on. Get your ears on. Rubber Ducky. Have you ever seen the movie Convoy?

[Brett Vesely]

That's horrible.

[John Holmberg]

I think I have. I started thinking about it.

[Brady]

Was.

[John Holmberg]

Was he Rubber Ducky Yeah, he was. Rubber Ducky, right.

[Brett Vesely]

Burt Young was in it.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I remember.

[Brett Vesely]

Got arrested. Oh, that was. Who was the sheriff? Was it Ernest Borgnine?

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say Eli. Eli Wallach, but that's not right. It might be Ernest Borgnine, but I. I don't think I've ever seen it, like, start to finish. I think I've seen so much of Convoy, the crap movie from the 70s, that I think I've seen it all the way.

[Brady]

What were some other handles, do you remember? Like.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember any. I just remember Rubber Ducky because that's in the song.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, there's. Yeah. Ursborg9. Bert Young.

[John Holmberg]

That was the sheriff.

[Brett Vesely]

Widow Woman was one of the spider. Mike was one spider. When I don't know this off the top of my head, I'm looking it up. A lizard tongue was another handle.

[John Holmberg]

Got to earn that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. White rat.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's just.

[Brett Vesely]

There's pack rats.

[John Holmberg]

Not to be confused with.

[Brady]

There's some good CB talk in there.

[Brett Vesely]

No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

I have a CB in my white Jeep for four wheeling. Tried to get that going for a little while. It's just. There's nobody on those anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

It's just drug deals.

[Brady]

You're kind of young, you know. What was your handle?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I had multiples. Yeah, I was Elton John Bunny. My aunt gave me that and I thought it was funny because I had sunglasses that had rabbits on them. She said I look like Elton John with rabbits in my face. Elton John Bunny. And then the other one was JD JD10. And then there was a road toad. That was you? Yeah, I had another one.

[Brady]

I was like, like looking for a southbounder road toad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Young hot anus was another one that I. I tooled around with.

[Brady]

Sailor boy.

[John Holmberg]

Hot sailor child. It's a child. Buster Brown, Cracker Jack, I think was another one.

[Brady]

Busfield Gold.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Bus. Yeah. Bus Field's mine. Up for anything. 69. I think I remember. I remember. What that. That might be an email.

[Brady]

You got Gacy's attic toy.

[John Holmberg]

Got your ears on. This is Gacy's Bunny. What?

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. Maya Angelou was the first black woman in San Francisco to be employed as a streetcar conductor.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady]

Alligators go through a pseudo hibernation in winter.

[John Holmberg]

We were so racist. We didn't trust black women to just ride on cars that were going one way. No, but it's like you're only it only like it didn't need a person.

[Brady]

You'd be strong enough.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We were so racist.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That we wouldn't let a black lady put the uniform on and say, all aboard. Because that's.

[Brady]

Could have been the men, too. They just didn't want her on there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I mean, she had the double whammy back in the. Her day, but. All right, we're gonna take a chance here and hire a African American woman. I'm sure that's. To do what? Stand on that train and say, everybody on. Everybody off a trot. One of our trolleys will have a black lady telling us what to do. What's this world coming to?

[Brady]

She's taking a man's job.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but there were white women doing it, or we wouldn't say otherwise. We just say she was the first woman she also happened to be.

[Brady]

True.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We didn't trust a black woman to just say, next stop right there. It only goes one place. A streetcar. Right. Those are the ones on trails or on the tracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Rice a Roni billboard's all I remember.

[John Holmberg]

That's all I remember him from is Rice a Roni stuff. Those people were so excited about Rice race. And they just went up the hill and there was a conductor.

[Brady]

It went down, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. They had to go get them again. That is baffling to me. I don't. You know, I'm a bigot, I admit that. But that's towards all races and genders, all 101 of them. But I can't imagine being so racist that I wouldn't trust somebody to just say, get in.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it's more of the woman thing.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's a lot of that that didn't.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

But again, I don't think I've ever been that distrusting of a woman to say that's. That seems about right. Like, even if I hated him in the 70s, I'm like, I can't do anything. You think she could stand on the edge of this thing and get everybody in and out? Nah. Even a woman can do that. That would. The 60s, they'd have said that. Even a woman can do that. That's crazy.

[Brady]

Alligators go through a pseudo hibernation in the winter, and they keep their noses above the surface of the water so it freezes over. They can still breathe. Have you ever seen it? There's pictures that you see. There will be a lake and freeze over, and you'll just see the.

[John Holmberg]

The gator snout just poking out of the top.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I've avoided that my whole life. And I'm going to keep doing It.

[Brady]

I've only seen the pictures. I've never gone, like, to a leg. I'm like, holy. And that can't happen too often, but they have the ability.

[John Holmberg]

They're not.

[Brady]

Every now and then, Florida, there's a freeze.

[John Holmberg]

They're dinosaurs.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We literally still have dinosaurs. It's the weirdest thing that we don't make a bigger deal out of that, but Those are dinosaurs.

[Brady]

25% of the US parents are unmarried. That's not a huge change from 30 years ago. It was 21%, but it's a massive increase from 60 years ago. It was just 7% unmarried.

[John Holmberg]

Documents weren't as good. You could hide stuff easier. Just gave birth in a barn.

[Brady]

Brett, you'll like this one. Frank Sinatra supposedly hired thugs to beat up comedian Jackie Mason for making fun of him for marrying Mia Farrow, who was 30 years younger.

[John Holmberg]

What's wrong with that?

[Brady]

After Mason had his face wired back together, he kept making jokes. He'd say, frank Sinatra saved my life one night. He said, boys, that's enough.

[Brett Vesely]

That's funny.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great joke. I wish you to beat him up again when he did Caddyshack 2. Oh, man.

[Brady]

This website, lovelifeacademy.com made a list together of the best breakup foods in every state.

[John Holmberg]

There's breakup foods?

[Brady]

Yeah. When you break up, if you've been broken up, what food do you go to for a cup? You know, comfort food.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Brady]

So in Arizona, our comfort food was. Well, let's see. Let's go Ohio first. Ohio and Indiana was grilled cheese.

[John Holmberg]

You break up and you eat grilled cheese. Did they just interview one guy? Because I think I know who might have been grilled cheese. Good. After breaking up.

[Brady]

This is good.

[John Holmberg]

It's good during a relationship and before a relationship. Also, by the way, somebody.

[Brady]

Arizona's potato chips.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Just a bag of chips after somebody dumps you. So this guy said, would you trust Megan to drive a trolley? It's a lot safer than driving a car.

[Brett Vesely]

Still got to control the speed and everything else, too, which. She's not going to go fast enough.

[John Holmberg]

No, totally. She'd be the safest one. She. She's off the rails in a vehicle.

[Brady]

Montana's chicken noodle soup.

[John Holmberg]

That's breakup. I've never.

[Brett Vesely]

What's Illinois like?

[John Holmberg]

Breakup food.

[Brady]

I'm looking.

[John Holmberg]

Most time when you break up, you don't eat right. You end up, like, just being depressed and not eating. I guess I'm talking to Brady about that. That makes sense.

[Brady]

Popcorn. Illinois. Skinny pop.

[Brett Vesely]

Hell not in Illinois. That's not skinny pop.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not.

[Brett Vesely]

That's full butter.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's full butter. I actually call it fat pop.

[Brady]

Gen Zers have a new term, it's going around. Chapel ganger.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Means you look like someone else. So you're like a doppelganger, but an uglier version.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, like me with Johnny Sins. I'm his chapel ganger. He's the. I say that about guy. I'm like, that's the handsome me. Me, I consider myself a chapel ganger to about 700 bald guys. I've been a chapel ganger to tons of people. Who. Who are you? A chapel ganger? Who are you? You look like him, but he's Butterbean. You think he's the better version of you?

[Brady]

No, no, no. I'm the uglier ver. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So you think Butterbeans are better?

[Brady]

No, I'm a better version of that. Yeah. Let's see. That's Purple Game.

[John Holmberg]

That would mean. Hold on, Brady, stop. That would mean. Oh, yeah. That would mean that. You think. Think Butterbean is your chapel ganger?

[Brady]

Doppelganger? No, he'd be more of a doppelganger.

[John Holmberg]

You think you're even?

[Brady]

No, but I've. People have over the years said, hey, Butterbean, let's just mean I just saw you.

[John Holmberg]

I'm asking you, in your opinion because you just said you're better looking than Butterbean.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Does that make him your chapel ganger?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. That's big of you to say that. That you're better than that man. Man. By quite a bit.

[Brady]

A lot.

[John Holmberg]

You said that. Yes, you did.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

[John Holmberg]

You're better than him.

[Brady]

Better looking. Better looking.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know that, man.

[Toledo]

You'd rip out a transmission as fast as you go into reverse.

[John Holmberg]

So true. Yeah. I'm surprised the whole block hasn't fallen out of them.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

I had to throw it in park while we were moving.

[Brady]

Sometimes, Felido, you just gotta be decisive decisions, like I do.

[John Holmberg]

That's you, my friend, right? You are one of those guys. Yeah. I've got like 20 that I'm the chapel ganger of, and no one's my chapel ganger because I'm the lowest of the low. So I'm. I'm. I'm at baseline one, and everyone that sort of looks like me, I'm the uglier version of that. So I would say.

[Toledo]

So I'm confused. So they're the chapel.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, I'm their chapel.

[Toledo]

You are.

[John Holmberg]

It's they're the handsome me.

[Brady]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

And there's no going beneath this chapel.

[Toledo]

Ganger is at the bottom.

[John Holmberg]

It's. Well right. You're just the uglier. Like, I don't know who you think you look like. Who do people tell you look like? Easter island monolith.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

You would be their chapel.

[Toledo]

Say those things are better looking.

[John Holmberg]

Then you're the monolith. Chop. What do people say you look like?

[Brett Vesely]

I get Andy Garcia.

[John Holmberg]

You're the chapel ganger of Andy Garcia. Because he's the handsome you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And Brady Butterbeer.

[Brady]

Jay and Silent Bob.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Dante from. From clerk.

[Brett Vesely]

I think he's my choppel ganger.

[John Holmberg]

In that I think. In that I think you're better looking than him. Johnny Sins is without quite. There was a guy, my friend Jordan, brought his brother to a son's game and he says to me, you get kind of a Johnny Sins vibe, only not. And I'm like, it's exactly. You're exactly right. Everything about him is a little bit better than me. Me. And I can accept that. It's just nice to be in the. You know, it's like nice to be nominated.

[Brady]

The first autistic Barbie, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. Who does he look like? Who does Toledo look like? We've never even noticed that. You don't look like anyone.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You're just kind of.

[Toledo]

When the only thing. Like when I was young, like really young and Richard Marx was coming around.

[John Holmberg]

I had longer Richard Marks.

[Toledo]

I'm just saying.

[Brett Vesely]

Got an old picture with the hair.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on to the knights. Richard Marks.

[Toledo]

Let me see if I can find her.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on to the man.

[Brady]

When you had your mullet going.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Did your sister date the guitar player from Richard?

[John Holmberg]

Drummer. Studio drummer.

[Toledo]

Yeah, the studio drummer.

[John Holmberg]

Who's the studio drummer on the second one was hold on to the night. What was the first one? He had two big hits.

[Toledo]

Don't mean nothing was the. Was his first hit.

[John Holmberg]

Don't mean nothing.

[Brett Vesely]

Donovan said Toledo's the chapel ganger of Rachel Raiders. Rachel Maddox.

[John Holmberg]

Rachel Matta. Who's Rachel Maddox?

[Toledo]

Maybe that's somebody else.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Rachel Maddow. You are kind of the Rachel. Matt. I can see that. She's the better version of you. Gotta put you on something. You don't look like anyone.

[Brett Vesely]

See the long hair? You got it.

[Toledo]

I'm trying to find one.

[John Holmberg]

Richard Marks. Didn't he have go through my dark long hair?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Darker.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't See it?

[Toledo]

Let me see you pull up a picture of Richard Marks first from like, 80. From like, 91.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe for a little while you looked like Adam Schefter, the NFL Insider.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

But not now.

[Brady]

No, Chapel, that was.

[Toledo]

That was going around when we were in Tampa.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but then you stood next to him, and I'm like, no.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I just thought you looked like him, and then you don't. Andy Garcia is a good one for Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I've heard that a few times.

[John Holmberg]

Mine is both Johnny Sins and the Sloth from the Goon Ponies.

[Brady]

You know who else is a Chapel gang of mine? Andy Reid.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Now, hold on. Which one do you think's better there?

[Toledo]

Which one? They're all better there.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Andy. Andy. You think he's the uglier version?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You do?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, we can't get them all. Right.

[Toledo]

A thousand on that.

[John Holmberg]

You and Andy Reid have similarities. That is true. I'm not sure which of you I'd rather be. And I think that's what determines the Chapel gang. Or at least physically.

[Toledo]

Oh, okay. I was gonna say, you know which.

[John Holmberg]

One I'd rather be in real life. Like, if I could swap by. If I could Freaky Friday with either Brady or Andy Reid.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, this one just came.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's gonna be fine without me. Oh, there's Butterbean and Brady. Yeah, that's. I didn't realize that. Now you think you are his superior, according to you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a tossup.

[Brady]

Well, that's his. That's the best he's looking right there.

[John Holmberg]

Which one is he again? I can't tell the side by side of you and Butterbean.

[Toledo]

Oh, it's the HMS logo. That's the one that gets it for.

[John Holmberg]

He looks to be in better shape than Butterbean's ever been in. In that photo, he's actually got definition in his pectoral.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's his prime in fighting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right there. So right there, you're the Chapel Ganger. Yeah. In that picture, I think maybe that's the beans. I think the bean wins. If we went to the mall.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And said, ladies, which one? Then that determines if you're a Chapel.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Like, go to Butterbee.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, I think Toledo looks like Tom Arnold.

[Toledo]

I don't know about that. Okay, there's my senior picture.

[John Holmberg]

That is Richard Marks looking at Toledo's senior picture. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

There is. There's.

[John Holmberg]

Were you working at TGI Fridays? What's with the shirt?

[Toledo]

It was cool at the time, like you said. I think it was like our one store in town was the Bond Marche.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Toledo]

Macy's now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, a lot of. A lot of denim on you in the kids.

[Brady]

That is totally stranger things.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Right there. Mm.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good look.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I'm bringing it back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Was that done at all in Mills?

[Toledo]

I don't remember the local footage outside his dad's house. His backyard had like, a wagon wheel and a stage coach in it.

[John Holmberg]

It's Montana. You all do well.

[Brett Vesely]

This. This. This one came through too.

[John Holmberg]

For you. Rachel Maddow. Yeah, that's pretty good. Toledo's got the same hair. Rachel Madoff there. Yeah, I can see that. Someone says Toledo, I'll be here.

[Toledo]

Chapel Ganger.

[John Holmberg]

Honestly, Toledo resembles the murderer that killed the dentist and his wife in Columbus, Ohio. I haven't seen that guy yet. Toledo doesn't really have one. Yeah, Keith Jardine and I. The fighter.

[Toledo]

That's tough call.

[John Holmberg]

That's a tough call. One of us is uglier than the other, and it's hard to determine because we're both so insanely ugly. Yeah. That was you and Adam Schefter. I thought you guys looked alike till you were next to each other and I realized that your head is the size of a semi truck. And he's a normal man.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And he's also very tiny.

[John Holmberg]

He is short.

[Brett Vesely]

Christopher said. So Brady's rose colored glasses work in mirrors too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he stared at. That's a tough day, though. You got to give Brady credit for tolerating that. To look at a picture of you side by side to butterbean and go, I don't know who's better. That's a tough look. I'm well into my admission of ugliness. I'm not sure Brady is there yet.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, wasn't he a seven when he.

[John Holmberg]

Gave himself a seven when we first started asking?

[Brady]

Might have bumped up now seeing you next time.

[Toledo]

He said seven and a half.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like Dale has that same thing. And his. He's the Chapel Ganger of Frankenstein. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

That picture, that silhouette that we posted.

[John Holmberg]

Horrifying.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So the first autistic Barbie just rolled out. She's part of the diversity and inclusion campaign Mattel launched a few years ago. They released first the Barbie Down Syndrome, 2023, and now there. There's also a Barbie with type 1 diabetes.

[John Holmberg]

There is. You got to give her insulin every.

[Brady]

Every day. I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

You teach her how to do intravenous needle use.

[Brady]

He's tired sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

I guess that's subcutaneous. The. It's for diversity. So only kids who don't have it should buy this.

[Toledo]

That's what I don't understand.

[Brady]

This Barbie tosses too? No. What?

[Toledo]

Tourette's. But wait, if it's for diversity, shouldn't it be for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's not for the kids who are neurodivergent. They can't have it. They have to have a normal one.

[Toledo]

It's for normal kids to include them in their.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

That's not what normal kids are gonna do.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't wanna do that.

[John Holmberg]

And you say it avoids eye contact. That.

[Brady]

I don't know. It has. There is a video of the first autistic Barbie that just rolled out. But I.

[Toledo]

What a video going me.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Well, maybe I read that.

[Brady]

I don't think the Barbie's talking.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's just a Barbie doll that is neurod, divergent or autistic. And aren't there like wild levels of that?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

98. What? 98. No way. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Toledo]

But also, isn't it like the elf on the shelf? It is what you say it is.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Can't you just make your regular Barbie? Oh, she's autistic. Really? She's low on the spectrum, but she's got it. She's adhd. It's ADHD Barbie. So it didn't move. She's also comatose Barbie if you want to just put. She's also Nathan Sutherland's girlfriend. If you turn her over. How strange is that? And it's for diversity, which basically means all the kids who have autism will have the autism doll and there'll be no diversity. Everyone will have it. Is it a celebration of autism?

[Brady]

They can have the original Barbies, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but can't you make. Like Toledo said. Can't you just make that? Can't you just say it is.

[Toledo]

Yeah, whatever it is. Whatever you want it to be.

[John Holmberg]

Like, if I told my.

[Toledo]

Isn't that their point?

[Brady]

Yeah, but you can't make money on that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if you. It's true. But if you just told it. Yeah, but you'd still have to buy a Barbie and go, this one's got loads of Asperger's. Like, no, kidd.

[Toledo]

The money.

[John Holmberg]

Like, who's going to question that your Barbie has Asperger's, let alone creating that.

[Brady]

And then not getting catching any flack for the design?

[John Holmberg]

What she look like? Does she have.

[Brady]

Yeah, cuz I haven't fish seen down syndrome Barbie either.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man, that would make me. Does she have a thick ass?

[Brady]

And then it's type 1 diabetes.

[John Holmberg]

She's just thicker or skinny. Super skinny.

[Brett Vesely]

Skinny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Has a little side thing on the.

[John Holmberg]

Can you kill her?

[Brady]

Little.

[John Holmberg]

She got a port plug in.

[Brady]

Yeah, port.

[John Holmberg]

Can you kill Hatch. Diabetic Barbie.

[Toledo]

The ports are now on the back of their arms though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but so what can you kill her? Because then her diabetes doesn't matter if it's not life threatening.

[Toledo]

True. Yeah. You gotta snickers.

[Brady]

Well when she goes to the parties, you know, you have the doll party.

[John Holmberg]

Great. You gotta have sugar free jello gluten.

[Brett Vesely]

That party sucks.

[John Holmberg]

Can you just tear her legs off like I used to do to Barbies? I mean they still are.

[Brady]

Maybe they come off easier.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. So. But the diabetic ones scream. I guess maybe they just turn color. Does she look more like Wilford Brimley? Is that the diabetic Barbie? I think that's really strange that we consider that diversity. A chunk of plastic that's got autism. I understand the skin color one. That makes sense to me. Yeah, absolutely. That, that, that to me is like, oh, like why do Barbies all look like that? If I was black, that makes sense.

[Brady]

But jaundice Barbie.

[John Holmberg]

But like down syndrome kids. Even though like there's a reason these, like the doll shouldn't have it. Like it's good, good. I'm glad that doll doesn't have this like down syndrome kids aren't rooting for their toys to be retarded too. Are they ripped down syndrome Barbie? Yeah. Is she short, squatty?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Thick ass? Strong. She can throw Ken across the room. Do they make retarded Ken too?

[Brady]

Doesn't say.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Brady]

Maybe just Barbie.

[John Holmberg]

They only screw them with the chromosomes of Barbie.

[Brady]

You gotta match it up.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta have. Yeah. You gotta have life on the spectrum. It's all day dating.

[Brett Vesely]

Diabetic bar is missing a foot.

[John Holmberg]

Their toes are green. I wonder if you don't get her her insulin if her feet start like turning colors. What's the.

[Brady]

What is the. Yeah, what is the. Maybe some education. But you'd have to read about that because the, the dolls really.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

What you make them gives.

[Toledo]

It gives her a set of headphones which a lot of neurodivergence have to.

[John Holmberg]

Drown out the outside.

[Brett Vesely]

Got some beats on and.

[Brady]

She just.

[John Holmberg]

Pats her ears the whole time.

[Toledo]

You've seen them.

[John Holmberg]

She's still hot though. And now she's a little bit slow.

[Brady]

Video.

[John Holmberg]

She looks Fine. She's put headphones on a Barbie.

[Brady]

She's got a screen.

[John Holmberg]

Of course he's got her screen. And she just wants to ignore you. Barbie wants to be in her own space. That's dumb. Did they have that in the Barbie movie? They didn't have special one, did they? I don't remember.

[Toledo]

It wasn't America Fiera, the. The big girl.

[Brady]

Would you call her the.

[Toledo]

Didn't Barbie have a big.

[John Holmberg]

Put it on me.

[Toledo]

No, no, no. You knew all like, all the different.

[John Holmberg]

Fat Barbie.

[Brady]

Don't they have a name for her?

[John Holmberg]

Fat Barbie.

[Toledo]

I thought they had a name for.

[John Holmberg]

International Barbie, Bigger Barbie because it was all about inclusion Again, Big Bone Barbie.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They don't make a plus special. Ken.

[Toledo]

Says Lego also sells a variety of minifigures with non visible disabilities.

[John Holmberg]

They're stealing money.

[Toledo]

It is what you want it to be.

[John Holmberg]

And wouldn't your kid with diabetes like not want his doll to have it? Like you hear, it's just like you. It's like, oh, poor bastard.

[Brady]

Listen to this.

[Toledo]

The guy who's the chief executive of Ambitious about Autism charity says, you know, theoretically any Barbie can be reimagined as autistic because autism doesn't have one look. But representation is powerful and Barbie is an iconic toy. So we hope many autistic children feel pride at seeing some of their experiences reflected in this new.

[John Holmberg]

So wouldn't that be like molested by my uncle? Barbie would leave a relatable to some of them. You can.

[Toledo]

It can be what you want it to be.

[Brady]

John.

[Toledo]

The Timothy. Timothy Busfield doll.

[John Holmberg]

I worked with Timothy Busfield Barbie. She cries when you tickle her.

[Brady]

Child actor.

[John Holmberg]

I have lots of triggers. Barbie. Evit Barbie. Yeah, not that racist Barbie.

[Brett Vesely]

Sanjay found Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's AI though. Oh, he made Brady AIed. Brady and Butterbean together. Look at the lack of genitals and how tight those shorts are.

[Toledo]

Which looks like the Bogarine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that is a hot vagina that. Those are too tight in the center. Interesting. Chapel Gangers.

[Brady]

This is kind of cool. An ex con named Kerwin Pittman runs a charity that helps inmates ease back into society and get jobs. He's now the first former inmate to own a prison. He bought an abandoned jail in North Carolina and he's turning into a workforce. Campus can house up to 300 people who need a place to live where they get out and they learn job skills. He'll fill the 300 beds and then they'll live there and they'll train and learn to be Plumbers, AC work.

[John Holmberg]

That's good.

[Brady]

It's a six month program. And they get out and they get placed into jobs.

[John Holmberg]

Keep them busy.

[Brady]

And he rolls them over again. So another 300 come in, get trained for six months. It's a pretty cool idea, Eric.

[John Holmberg]

Brian from Precision. Yeah, New AC unit. And well, that's Bodhi. But he goes to the prisons and tells him, guys, get on this and you get a second chance. You gotta, you come out with that skill.

[Toledo]

Do they do that here in Arizona in the prisons?

[John Holmberg]

They do, yeah. They teach you all sorts of stuff.

[Toledo]

Workforce training. John, you realize Brady's already had a barbecue Barbie. It was called Oregon Barbie. Short hair, plaid, flannel, in a Subaru Outback.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's his chapel Ganger. Yeah, they have lesbian Barbie. Do they have going through gender questions Barbie, Transition Barbie. Yeah, trans. Trans Barbie. If we're doing all this like gender fluid Barbie, I know you're talking.

[Brady]

All right. Boy, you could have 80 of them.

[John Holmberg]

You could have tons. Everybody represents something then. So we all going to have our own Barbie. Like mine's follically challenged huge broken nose Barbie. Yeah, that's dumb.

[Brady]

We got a guy that had to go into the hospital, get a little emergency surgery. He had a 7 inch sweet potato lodging his butt. It was up too deep. They had to go through his gut.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say an inch is too deep, but if you had to go through the. The center. He pushed out. That thing just kept climbing.

[Brady]

Yeah, it went up a foot or so.

[John Holmberg]

Man, that's weird. You put things in there and they don't come out. And it's the whole point of that spot. Let everything out. If you stuff things in there, it just goes, all right, we're in reverse. And that's your fault, so live with it.

[Brady]

One of the statements that had to put out this happened in England. But doctors in the UK once had to warn people to ignore the old wives tale that shoving a frozen potato up your bum cures hemorrhoids.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard that.

[Brady]

Files. They said piles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I like them called hemorrhoids. I don't like piles.

[Brady]

One website falsely claimed, insert a frozen potato in your ass. Yeah, frozen. This one says, insert a frozen potato slice in your anus and leave it inside for 30 seconds. Repeat the process for three to five days and what happens?

[John Holmberg]

Your hemorrhoids go away. So instead of buying Preparation H or something, you slice a thinly sliced potato and then use it like a tux pad.

[Brady]

Yep. And dose it.

[Brett Vesely]

A whole potato up Here.

[Brady]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, okay. That's what I thought. I was like, no, I'll take the hemorrhoids.

[Brady]

He took it to the next level, which is 7 inch long. Sweet potato.

[John Holmberg]

He must have had terrible. And then when you're done with the yam, you're done with it. You got a delicious potato in it. Come on, stop it.

[Brady]

Got a 29 year old woman in Florida, Ariana Moss. She was arrested on a misdemeanor charge after she allegedly stole a co worker's 40 ounce Stanley Cup. Light blue Stanley cup. It was a $60 in value. Ariana was caught on camera eyeing the cup, hiding it in her lunchbox and leaving with it. It was. She said it was an accident, but she knew it belonged to a 20 year old, 22 year old co worker. She'd even talked about it before. Co worker said Ariana once pointed to the cup, said this cup would be great to hold my breast milk. Is do she sent. Since quit her job as a supervisor, it's unclear if the Stanley cup was returned and if the co worker is willing to drink from it. Again, never. Picture of Ariana.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's pretty good. She was shooting breast milk at people.

[Brady]

Well, she was talking about she got issues.

[John Holmberg]

She never actually did it.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Well she took that one home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can't be a supervisor anymore if you think that.

[Brady]

Well, she decided, you know, time to change jobs up. It's a little uncomfortable in the workplace.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody said, did your mom Toledo give you a Ken doll? And say he's a bastard too. Bastard Ken would be awesome. Like just his head's down a little bit.

[Toledo]

No, that would never happen.

[John Holmberg]

He just. You never have a doll.

[Brady]

Should have. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Texters are also saying, hey guys, don't forget the best chapel ganger.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, that Korean envy Park. Yeah, that's pretty. Now again, let's go side by side with Brady and in B, we did that.

[Brady]

She's my chapel gear.

[John Holmberg]

You think you're better looking than her?

[Brady]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is it because she's Asian?

[Brady]

Yep, there it is.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'd like to hear. So essentially by that logic, there isn't one Asian better looking than you on the planet.

[Brady]

It.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I agree. You're better looking than 3 billion people. That's a good run.

[Toledo]

Own it.

[John Holmberg]

How do you. Where do you think you stand in that? I wonder where I would stand of the 7 billion people. Rank yourself.

[Brady]

Upper half.

[John Holmberg]

You think he's upper half?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean you've been to Thailand.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Mid range.

[Toledo]

Cambodia where there doesn't seem to be a lot of active dentist.

[John Holmberg]

I got to be honest. I think I'm actually. All of us. I'm going to put us all there. Brett's probably in the upper 70%. He's a handsome man. Toledo's closing in on that Brady and I'm pulling up the rear. Still in the upper 60s, high 50s. We're in. Half of the world is horrendous looking in America, though. I think I'd be in the middle.

[Brady]

Mid range, I think in America.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think so?

[Toledo]

No, I think all four of us are upper half in America.

[John Holmberg]

Sad. And again, only like 3% of the population is good looking. Yeah, I know. I'm not in that. Anyway, I've got one Brady video Chapel ganger in B Park.

[Brady]

This is a pretty good fitness challenge.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Between two women. Should be fun to do.

[John Holmberg]

All right, they're throwing a medicine ball over.

[Brady]

Throw it over the wall. Do a push up, throw it back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what's going on right now. One of them's gonna get smashed. It's getting. The medicine ball's getting heavier and the push ups are getting harder.

[Brady]

Are you going with.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going with the one in black.

[Brett Vesely]

She's gonna get hit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so too. She's getting faced by a medicine ball. She's out. That's a fun game. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You do a squat and you push the ball over the hill or over the. The barrier. And then after the ball leaves your hands, you drop and do a push up. The girl in the black is crushing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The other one's cuter if that's worth anything to her. But she takes it right in the face, so to speak.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a good one.

[John Holmberg]

So to speak. There it is. Oh, that's one of them 20 pound medicine balls, too. They're not messing around.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's a big boy.

[John Holmberg]

I watched the. There's a park on Indian school next to the Arizona Falls. This is just the canal, kind of.

[Brady]

It's beautiful.

[John Holmberg]

It's a nice place. But I ride my bike bear there sometimes. And there's a group of dudes that all look like James Harrison playing volleyball with medicine balls. It's the most amazing crap you've ever seen. Like, it makes you feel worthless as a human being. They're all huge and they've got like. Then they're throwing these medicine. These gigantic medicine balls back and forth and they're all oiled up. I think they're gay. But it's like, they're going to. It's. It. There's no way I'd want to oil up and hang out with dudes if I looked like that. Be oiled up and looking for chicks, unless I wanted to bang the fellas. But there's like 12 of them, and they are like, I'll oil up with you, and we'll throw balls at each other's faces. And they do it. No women are watching either, which I found out.

[Brett Vesely]

I figured play volleyball with Goose and Maverick.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's that. It's the playing with the boys scene in Top Gun. They're all oiled up and version. They're huge, though. It's kind of fun to watch. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm like, today, but we'll just get through a few of these. All right. Some hockey for you. Dude hit him so hard, he took out the backup goalie.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, my God, it's Russia. He checks a dude into the bench, and the guy lands on the goalie for the other team who's just sitting on the bench and kills him. And the guy gets right back up and climbs back out onto the ice. That's awesome. That's a great hit.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's some. I'll just let you watch it. Metal core music for you.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. There's kids sitting on a pier, leaping into the. Oh, that's his head hitting the bar on the pier. And a guy decided to start a song with it. Wow, that's awesome. Wow. A tries to do a little hop off the pier into the ocean and hits his head.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's one of those construction videos that we see.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. It's a safety video for. Okay, we've got a. A backhoe of some sort. Oh, my God. They're swinging around. Just took a dude's head off.

[Brett Vesely]

But wait, let's.

[Brady]

That just mirrors him. Oh. Oh, yeah, that's severed.

[John Holmberg]

It cuts a guy in half. Yeah, it turns the. I don't know what kind of machine that was, but it's got a 360 degree cabin, and now there's a dude stuck under it. Oh, wow.

[Brett Vesely]

For no reason whatsoever. How about midget sex?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Little people getting it done. The girl midget is sucking her finger while. Oh, that is a little fella. That's a real woman. And what. What is that? I don't know. It's a gremlin.

[Toledo]

That's Marvin the Martian life.

[John Holmberg]

Foot and a half tall. It's cool, Hagen. I don't know what she's saying, but you Spanish people Are probably enjoying the hell out of that. He's so little. Look at him. Once it reveals him. Oh, we've got to put this on the Internet. This needs to. He is the size of one of her butt cheeks. Yeah. Poppy is the thing with them. And you don't know what's behind her until now. It is Coha.

[Brady]

That is joy.

[John Holmberg]

Cohagan. Give him the air. Cohagan. What are you doing? It's that thing from Total Recall growing out of that guy. It's him. I don't know what she's saying. I'm sorry. I apologize to everybody. I don't know what that is. It can't be good.

[Brett Vesely]

That's all we got today.

[John Holmberg]

He is literally a foot and a half tall. He's an Oompa Loompa, only little.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she's a full size woman. And he's getting her from behind on a little footstool. Show me that again. Oh, I've never seen anything like this. Midget sex is one thing. This is like, like Guinness book stuff. This dude is tiny. Look at his little feet. Oh, yeah. These little socks.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I missed that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. To go back and look at his little socks in the beginning right there. Look at down there, that little tiny sock. He kept his socks on. That's adorable. Little hands on her butt. I know. He's adorable. I want one. I want one of those. There he goes.

[Brett Vesely]

I like when he wipes his brow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, he wipes the sweat off. He's working so hard.

[Brady]

No hands.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's like a hummingbird. That. That heart has to be going crazy now. There's wiping that brow. Yeah. Poppy's getting it done. He's the size of my dick, but still getting it done with the lady. Good for you. Excellent work.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

That's the weirdest one I've seen in a while. And I really liked it. We can't put that up on the Internet.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You sure? What about just a picture of them?

[Toledo]

Maybe if it's cropped the right way, you could do it.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think in his head.

[Brady]

I'd like to ask Elon Musk about this stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Is this gonna go away?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No. But you'll have access to all of it.

[Brady]

You can have Poppy here.

[John Holmberg]

Here?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you want to have a And for fun, I might do that. Like, I would like a one foot to peg me. Who cares? I don't have anything to worry about anymore. When AI takes over everything. Bring over that one foot, man. I want to watch that. All right. Get in There. Do you think deep down he knows she's faking, or does he really think he's hammering that?

[Brady]

He knows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm with Toledo. He don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Ideal SM puppies. Like, come on.

[Brady]

He's performing for the camera. They both are. Yeah. They're professionals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We didn't see if he had a normal wing or not. Kyle. Kyle's asking. We didn't see that. But her reaction leads me to believe that there's some type of.

[Brady]

Some feelings.

[John Holmberg]

It's got to be like a baby carrot. Anyway, that's the world we live in for another eight years, according to Elon. And then we can just start doing it ourselves. An abundance of everything that's included. Brady. That's what Elon's calling for. There you go, everybody. There goes your Brady report. It's out of control now. 98 KUPD. Goldberg's morning silver. His morning sickness. 98 KUPD. There we go. Thanks, Weezer. Just wanted to point out that Zach Keim was the winner of our KUPD 2026 concert passport. He gets tickets to every concert we mentioned. So congratulations and enjoy Herman's Hermits. Does he get that one, too? I'm putting it on the.

[Brett Vesely]

You'll buy the tickets if necessary.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to be. I don't want to. I don't want to push away any revenue or advertising at all in any situation, but not so sure Twin Arrows is putting that in the right spot. Like, are they. I guess, Herman's Hermits. Are they selling tickets to Herman's Hermits through us? Is that a thing? I'm Enemy the Eighth. I am Henry the Eighth. And people like, yeah, that and two. Cool. Yeah. You think it's a good combo? It made me giggle hearing Peter Noon featuring Herman's Hermits with Peter Noon and Brett, and I looked it up. He's 78 years old.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Bringing it.

[John Holmberg]

It's not, like, Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones or anything. It's Herman's Hermits. We did it with the grassroots.

[Brady]

Well, he's got options.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, it works.

[Brady]

Time has options.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, he doesn't. They're coming to you, and you got to go see us. We'll see you up there. The I'm Henry vii.

[Brady]

And we'll head to Five Finger.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then Five Finger Death punch comes in. He's gonna go to that, too, because who isn't gonna see both of those? I didn't know Herman's Hermits were still alive.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't either.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think many of Them are, but Peter Moon is. And he's gonna go out there and sing.

[Brady]

Pleasant surprise.

[John Holmberg]

I'm happy the happy Peter Noon's still around. That's good.

[Brady]

78.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank God.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The only reason I really even know him is because of the first Naked Gun. Hey, Larry. Is he going to get tickets to Herman's Hermits if it's not on the KUPD calendar? Oh, I'm putting it on there. Is that all right? Is it.

[Brady]

Let's get that on the calendar.

[John Holmberg]

Here it is. Give me a pen. Yep. No, right here. March twenty something. Herman. Herman's Hermit's a twin. You get to go. Zach, Five Finger Death Punch is going to be here with Cody James, and that is going to happen in September. That's going to be something he can go to. You just announced that. So that's happening September 24th. Talking stick. Well, it's named that. The tickets are going on sale Friday. So you got five finger death punch. That's going to be their 20th anniversary world tour. How about that? So they're going to be out here. You get. You get your phone. You'll just be coming down back to the ground after Zero Gravity Day in August and probably feeling. Yeah, feeling Zero gravity at Herman's Hermits up there at Twin Arrows. I like their mosh pits because you can use oxygen tanks to hit the other people.

[Brady]

It's a. It's. It's like bells.

[John Holmberg]

It's the Murder Ball. They're just their wheelchairs just in a circle smashing into each other. I found that hysterical, and I don't know why. I don't know. Hey, look, if there's one ticket sold, I'll get settlement. Just can't imagine the folks up at Twin Arrows going, yeah, KUPD is moving tickets. Oh, maybe we are. I might call my rep there and go, don't you have an oldies station? We do. 92. 7. I think it sneaks onto our show every once in a while. That got me. That got me giggling. Somebody. Also, the Chapel Ganger thing has everybody searching their own deal. Somebody said, john, you and Jay Buhner, former Seattle Mariner, and that's very true. And that's a tough one to turn. Oh, yeah. No, I've been confused for him at Mariner games. Didn't make any sense, but I wore a Mariner's jersey, and somebody thought it was him. And then I was up at the Squidward. Well, the oil. Squidward's my. I'm definitely sexy. Squidward is my. I am his chapel Ganger. Like, there's Nothing close, but I was at that Diamondbacks game when the Aria had a big suite, and they said, anybody in Arizona that wants to go if you're. And so I was like, sure. So my casino hostess hooked me up there, and I went in and I'm there, and one of the guys was asking another person, is that Jay Buhner about me? And so we played on it for a little while and chatted with him for a second, like, no, Jay Buhner's taller. I think. Jb I think I'm his chapel gang. I think. I don't think I'm as handsome as Jay Buhner. And that's sad, really. Oh, that's a pathetic thing to admit out loud. And he's also taller. Like, more manly. I'm just kind of. I'm kind of. I would be Jay Buhner's brother. Like, he'd be like, oh, I see it.

[Brett Vesely]

Don Swayze.

[John Holmberg]

And Don Swayze. I'm the chapel ganger. Chapel gangers are interesting. A lot of people are firing that off. And somebody I do have to say thank you to the guy that said Keith Jardine is uglier than me, and he would be my chapel ganger. That's a tough one for me as well. And I've got a lot of them. I look like a lot. And people are sending me mug shots of bald guys just too. We all don't look exactly alike, but a few that you've sent over have been pretty accurate. Brady's got his little cookie cutter people, I have mine. And it's 50. 50 on the people that are firing over on Butterbean. Like, some think that he's, you know, the athlete of the two of you. He's got full man height. I think that would be a thing, that if you were 6ft or taller, you automatically lose to them.

[Brady]

That he was a pit fighter.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Brady]

Well, that was his skill, they said.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm just saying that has nothing to do with his physicality. He's 6ft plus athleticism.

[Brady]

I'll take a run at that. I mean, he's a bigger guy at. At just being athletic at various sports.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but he's a professional fighter.

[Brady]

Yeah, I would. I would lose to him in pit fighting.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't mean. Yeah, but that doesn't. He's still more of a pit barbecue. Yeah, there's pit fighting depending on what you doing. I'm saying that most professional athletes are probably not going. Are going to surpass you in athleticism. If They've made it to that rank in one. They may not be great at other sports, but they're probably as far as more.

[Brady]

I consider athleticism being various, being able to.

[John Holmberg]

And most of most of them are like not many guys who are as big as he is. And boxing, they're fairly athletic people. They can probably pick up anything pretty quickly if they're interested. Interested in it. I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give the nod to Butterbean. Brett, you with me on this?

[Brett Vesely]

I think I'm gonna better be butter.

[John Holmberg]

But you are the chapel ganger of Butterbean. He is the better you.

[Brett Vesely]

That's close though.

[John Holmberg]

It is close, but I mean, once you put him at six feet Brady's, it's over.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And Butterbean's very tall. So. Sorry. Brady, you have some nice prizes waiting for you in the hallway and we really thank you. Thanks for coming down and playing. Am I uglier than should have trained the. Well, it doesn't mean that you'd still be better looking than him. He's still not six feet tall. I think that's immediately a loss, don't you?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You think being five eight versus six, two and looking exactly alike, one guy doesn't have a physical advantage in looks.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So yeah, I'm right.

[Brady]

Yeah. No, I don't think that.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think there's a difference Person better looking if you're exactly the same, but one is six feet and one is five, six, seven. The six footer wins.

[Brady]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

No, Brett, help.

[Brett Vesely]

Six footer wins.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. See, that's all I needed. Confirmation from him.

[Brady]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because that's a more desirable trait, right?

[Brady]

Yeah. For, I mean, you know, when the movies, they want to make all these guys six foot.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, in life, no man. Six feet says, I wish I was five, seven, seven. But tons of five foot seven inch guys say, I wish I was six feet.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you see the pictures of like Tom Cruise behind the scenes. He's standing on soapboxes.

[John Holmberg]

No one. But beyond movies and how we present it, no one Brett's height says I wish I was 5 7. Right.

[Brady]

I haven't met a person.

[John Holmberg]

No, there wouldn't. But tons of 5 foot 7 guys wish they were 6ft, right?

[Brady]

Yeah, there's. There's more in that category.

[John Holmberg]

There's all of them in that all 5 foot 7 inch guys are not satisfied with 5. 7 shouldn't be.

[Brady]

Being taller is better, more desirable.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Which is why Jay Buhner and I are in a tight contest on who's. We look enough alike, though. It's like, all right, they're both ugly, but who's a little better? He's like 6 3. I can admit I lose immediately with that.

[Brady]

Maybe you could be closer now. Although you start to shrink too, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, I'm back up six feet. I'm full on. I measured again just the other day. Wrote it on the wall, still growing. Wrote it on my feet. Finally stopped at 12 and a half. Half. I've. I've. I got a whole bunch of shoes I can't wear.

[Brett Vesely]

Kirby's getting some new.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She wear 12 men's shoes? Because I've got loads of them. Getting close, is she? She's still growing. Like, we got to slow this down. Check her pituitary gland. Yeah. But yeah, yeah. And you know who's Matthias? Doppelganger. Who do people say she looks like?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I saw someone the other day and I thought, that's Matthiah. And I couldn't place it. Now I don't remember who it was, but, yeah, I'll text her and see and find out who she said. Who people say she looks like. It's always fun to ask.

[Brady]

Sometimes I get the vibe of the girl that was on Water Boy for Rusa Balk. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She gives off that vibe before she went crazy. Like, yeah. American History X for Roosevelt. Which makes sense why she likes Brett so much. Oh, wait a minute. That there, that's Couple doppelganger.

[Brady]

That's a good match.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's always fun to ask girls the question of, like, who do you think you look like? Because they always come up with something ridiculous. It's always like, no way. That's because we're more observant. We got hot releases coming up in just a little bit. You're playing chapel ganger at home. Good luck. You're going to find it eventually and be uglier than someone else. We all are. It's 98. It's out of control now. Morning sickness. Morning sickness. We're having these philosophical. I should have never brought Elon's talk up this morning, but man, oh, man. And here we are talking about all the things that are coming and, you know, with the technology and all the things that we can get used to in the future. And Elon says, don't save your money anymore. And there's no reason they'll be in 10 years time. The elimination of need and the abundance of everything will be in front of us. And meanwhile, all I'm seeing on my emails is, hey, the app's broken. Like, we. We can't fix that. We're. We. It's done. Yeah, it's an interesting thing, and we talked about it really early this morning, but Elon Musk went on and on about basically saying the potential in 10, 12 years, you're not going to have to stock money for a retirement because AI will create an abundance of all things. An abundance of all things. We can't. That doesn't make sense. But the robots are going so fast. He also threw out a stat in a different thing. I was reading that. I don't know if this is accurate or not, or if I'm quoting it right, that each day, AI amplifies its own power 10 times.

[Brady]

10 times every day. I don't know if it was every day.

[John Holmberg]

It was what he said it was daily, on a daily basis.

[Brady]

Because I heard the 10 times thing.

[John Holmberg]

Creates 10 times more value to itself than it had the day before. That's how fast it's growing. Well, you know, it'd be like your car getting 10 times better every day. So it starts as a Model T, and then it's a 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, and soon, in, like, four weeks, it's. It's up to today's standards and weeks. That's just eliminating years. It's crazy. And we can't stop talking about it because we're idiots. Meanwhile, the app's down. The future belongs to the people who can do stuff with their hands. Lawyers wasting your time. Doctors. We got that covered. I asked my. My liver surgeon friend the other day, Dr. Brink, how long would it take him to teach me liver transplants without all the extra of school? Like, just like, it's a dystopian future.

[Brady]

Like, they do it in the movie sometimes when they have an emergency surgery and they walk somebody through it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Like. Like land in a plane. Like, there's a guy on the other end. All right, you're going to find the left ventricle. I'm like, I don't know what that is.

[Brett Vesely]

Head striker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, but just using a bomb. He said he could do it in about two years.

[Brady]

Two years?

[John Holmberg]

Two years.

[Brady]

That's too long.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I said. I said, well, like, I couldn't watch you, like, a hundred times, like, this year here, and pick it up. Like, I, like, I want to get in there and cut and then. And then you show me. All right, go here. Like, you couldn't give me Step by step, everything. And he's like, no, it'll take two years. And I'm like, I don't want to know the anatomy.

[Brady]

I want to just create more value for his skill.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I said. Because then, then I told him, like, I could never teach you what I do. I'm way too advanced. It's not true. Brink would have no interest in, in this because he's smart and like, he's.

[Brady]

I bet you they get done with medical school. I'm like, what a racket.

[John Holmberg]

It's a racket. They teach it everything.

[Brady]

And then that now they're, you know, they've gone a little upset the whole deal. When you were talking about the two year program.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, they're trying to speed through it. Well, he said he can teach me liver transplant surgery in two years of just me observing every day.

[Brady]

You're gonna go through some mistakes, but I challenge that.

[John Holmberg]

I think you'll be good. I could get it done by July. I did my first liver transplant.

[Brady]

Done.

[Brett Vesely]

Challenge.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I would. Look, if you're a person who wants to sign off on some papers and let a rookie give it a run, you talk to professional baseball players. And they, they went through like 20 guys at, I forget, some luncheon or something they had, and they had all these pro baseball players. And one guy was asking him, he's like, dude, off the street, 100 pitches. How many of them does he hit off a pro pitcher? And all these guys looked at him and went, zero. It's like, did he play ball in high school? He's like, yeah, he might chip a.

[Brett Vesely]

Couple off, but some foul tips.

[John Holmberg]

No, it might make contact. No hits. You're going to ground out or pop out. You're not, you're not making meaningful contact off a professional pitcher. If you're just climbing off.

[Brady]

Hall of famer's hitting 30.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hall of fame.

[Brady]

30%.

[John Holmberg]

30 of 100. Yeah, 30% is hall of Fame.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Marshawn lynch went down with the D backs and took batting practice and they dialed up a 90.

[John Holmberg]

And he, he was like, he just. No, no.

[Toledo]

And he goes, give me the 80. And he got the 80. And he got a couple.

[Brady]

He got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's going to a pitching.

[Toledo]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

But a real pitcher.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Standing there looking at you don't know what he's doing. You're done. You might.

[Brett Vesely]

Ted Williams. 400. He hit and he missed six out of 10 times.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

He's a. 400 hitter.

[Brady]

40 out of 100.

[John Holmberg]

Tony Gwynn was like, as good as Ted. He like. I think he hit like, I don't. He never struck. Greg Maddox never struck him out.

[Brady]

Never like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Smoltz and Glavin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he never struck out. And he still only hit, like on his best year, 350. It's crazy, but I think I could get a liver transplant done way before I could hit a pro pitch.

[Toledo]

See, I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

Give me two years. GoPro pitch, you think? Give me two years in a cage or two years with Dr. Brad rink carving up. Yeah, you're.

[Toledo]

You're hitting the pro pitch first.

[John Holmberg]

I don't.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So I think. I think I can get a liver done by the end of the year. I don't think I could hit a.

[Toledo]

Pro pitcher without killing the patient.

[John Holmberg]

Well. Yes, everyone. Well, the dead one stealing from is out, Right? That's obvious, right? I could. How about this?

[Toledo]

Perform an autopsy now.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, that's. No, not a real one because I wouldn't know what to write.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I could take one out of the dead body. Body. And it would be like he'd look at it and go, that's perfect. Thank you. Within six months now.

[Toledo]

Six months.

[John Holmberg]

Tying the tie in the dead guy's liver to a living person.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

That's going to be the year and a half that he needs to teach. Yes, but I could learn how to cut it out and give it to him. Ready?

[Toledo]

That might be fair. I might give you that. That's some heavy studying, though.

[John Holmberg]

Not really. It's just. You don't know. I don't have to pop a book. I could watch him. It's like being a mechanic, man.

[Toledo]

I don't know.

[Brady]

I think taking it out, I think.

[Toledo]

There'S stuff that you're going to need.

[John Holmberg]

To do the most crucial part.

[Brady]

But maybe putting it back together.

[John Holmberg]

Putting it back together, simple. Getting the bad liver out of the living one might be an issue, but I could get the dead guys live. The dead kids liver. I could chop that right out. And then he would just trim it. Like the parts that I like Thanksgiving. Just. I would leave everything too long, and then he can trim it down.

[Brady]

I mean, I removed a liver once from an antelope.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, see, but you didn't have to. You could. You didn't care if you made a job.

[Brett Vesely]

It was.

[Brady]

I mean, that whole gut pile.

[John Holmberg]

Now imagine studying. Yeah, yeah. Imagine somebody studying.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And like, you watched this dude who was an expert, and you do it.

[Brady]

You can't let the rest of it tumble out. You have to take the one thing out.

[Toledo]

I've cleaned a fish and I've gotten good at carving up a turkey. So, yeah, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I could do an open heart surgery by August. I'm pretty much. That's what that's like, though. The heart's easy. It's like four. Four hunks. William says you're insane. You can't hang a bike rack and now you're transplanting livers. Look, that's different. That's. No, it's not. That's a totally. There's no hardware. No, it's not. Apples and cinder blocks.

[Brady]

But it wouldn't take you two years on a bike rack either.

[John Holmberg]

It might take all.

[Brett Vesely]

See how many holes are in that wall? He showed us the picture.

[John Holmberg]

You have not seen my drill schedule skills. They are atrocious. Atrocious. But I'm pretty sure I'm more. I'm more of a detail oriented dude when it comes down to, like, carving. I don't know. I think I'd be pretty good at it. I think I'd be good at it.

[Brady]

You did footers, you know, I had.

[John Holmberg]

No idea what I was doing either. Nearly burned my eyes.

[Brady]

You figure it out? I think you crack a body open.

[Toledo]

And then what happened? For a week you had a high lift stuck in your backyard.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that wasn't my first fault.

[Toledo]

Oh, you're blaming Luke?

[John Holmberg]

Luke's the one with the. He brought it over. He should have known that it was going to get stuck in the. Come on, we got it out. Ingenuity. Anyway, the future. None of this will matter. We'll have bots doing it. According to Elon, right after Trump's out of office. That's the craziest part. When Trump's done, we're like, bots will do it. That's when he says it's good for the five years we're going to start relying on. On them. In 10 years, they're going to do everything.

[Toledo]

Well, that. And we talked about it, I think, last year at some point. Quantum computing and all that together, there's.

[John Holmberg]

So John, really, you could.

[Brady]

You.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't know to take the plastic wrap off windshield wipers and. Yes, but see, after observing, I now know, and that's what I'm saying with the liver search. I'm pretty quick when it comes to. That was surgery. Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's no different than changing windshield wipers, which, by the way.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you'll leave a sponge in there or something.

[John Holmberg]

Be There'll be mistakes.

[Toledo]

John. I love it when idiots make a mechanic. Comp or comparison?

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

This.

[Toledo]

Look how long it took you to figure out wiper blades again? That's the common thing.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't ever done it before. That was my first time. And I popped him right. Oh, second time. Popped them right on. And I didn't know that little blue thing was a protector. That seemed excessive.

[Brett Vesely]

In your 50 years, that's the first time you did wiper blades?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Come on.

[Brady]

First time.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Well, first time I succeeded. Okay, I don't want to hear it.

[Brett Vesely]

Took you 50 years to do the wiper blades.

[John Holmberg]

I did it. It wasn't like I was out there every day just failing.

[Brady]

Who did it?

[Brett Vesely]

You never did it when you were 17, 20 years old?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady]

Your sister?

[Toledo]

Not once.

[John Holmberg]

Wiper blades?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, like you guys were out there doing it all the time.

[Brady]

I've seen them.

[John Holmberg]

You never did.

[Brady]

Sure did.

[John Holmberg]

How come you couldn't do mine?

[Brady]

Because I've never done your type of.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I never did it.

[Toledo]

Jeep was too tall.

[John Holmberg]

I think I did it on the Dodge once in my truck, but they slid on.

[Brady]

Yeah, you've had to put the blades on before.

[John Holmberg]

Not really. No need. The Jiffy Lube will do it. That's what I used to know. I could do dentistry also. I'm pretty sure of that. That one looks easy.

[Toledo]

I. I'll go with you on that one.

[John Holmberg]

I can screw some stuff up. Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

But I could yank out.

[Brady]

I feel pretty good. I could clean someone's teeth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, cleaning my mom. Yeah. That's a racket.

[Toledo]

Tom Hanks did it in Castaway to the Skate. I could do that.

[John Holmberg]

Although Kelly makes a good point. Dude drills dentists. That's true. I am bad with drills. We put a couple extra holes in.

[Brady]

It when you're doing the actual drilling. Oh, that might differ.

[John Holmberg]

Drills are like when somebody grabs an out of control propeller for me, it's just going off and I'm spinning.

[Brady]

That's why you need to give a little.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how to dimple. Calm down. Oh, I know how to do that. But eventually and it goes sideways, you're like, oh, well then you just look at stuff at my house next time you're there. If it's drilled in, almost all the screws are on like an angle. Like none of them are going straight into the hole for her pleasure. It's time for the hot releases. I do believe they're upon us as we speak. Let's get right to it. Brett, you first.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, we'll start off with new stuff here from Alter Bridge. Miles Kennedy and Tremani and the boys. This is Scales are Falling.

[Toledo]

This new.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this guy says, calm down, Johnny Geen, you sound crazy. Maybe it is crazy. Maybe it's ambition. Both are very sexy.

[Brady]

All right, let's get it.

[John Holmberg]

Cut to the chase, Kennedy.

[Brady]

Maybe they fired Miles.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. He was late for this recording. This is a tale so dark and dim and slow.

[Toledo]

Wicked hearts the minds of men. Sound like Jonathan Davis.

[John Holmberg]

That's foreign. No, they're stealing from us.

[Brady]

Tribal. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's another song that's borrowed. What is that one?

[Brady]

It was boring, kind of.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought so. That was a little boring.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is.

[Brett Vesely]

There's Madison Beer.

[John Holmberg]

Justin Herbert's girlfriend.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, baby.

[John Holmberg]

She's spectacular. Yeah, this is the one. Justin Herbert's putting it through. High heels on a treadmill. She likes acne, huh? Yeah, she likes Brad of the Chargers. Isn't it weird how the standard of beauty has become the same thing? Yeah, the Kardashians did it and then now Megan Fox looks like this. Madison Beer looks like this. She's very Pretty song is horrible and I don't care.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the what's off?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I could watch her sing in a mirror that for we are about six hours. Does that song have an ending? Because if it doesn't, I'm going to get into the loop 314.

[Brady]

Not bad.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Yeah, she looks. That's still going. Oh, my Lord.

[Brady]

Money, talent.

[John Holmberg]

Do yourself a favor today, everybody listening. Take a break from your job and search Madison Beers. Yes, Baby Video. And then just realize that Brad Zit of the Chargers is just trash anyway. Okay, go ahead. Well, that was. That was nice.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's new stuff from Bruno Mars. This is funky Funk all night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right.

[Toledo]

By the way, the pre sale for Bruno is tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Turn the lights down low A thousand dollars a ticket for that bass in your chest now.

[Brady]

This is AI.

[John Holmberg]

It'S funk all night.

[Toledo]

Anderson's with him on this. Neon dancing on your skin Got that vinyl spinning slow Let the good times.

[John Holmberg]

Pull us in Silk shirt sticking to my bag Sweat and rhythm smooth. Is that out?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. Well, this came out.

[Toledo]

Soon as out on Friday.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, there was another one that was released too.

[John Holmberg]

This one.

[Brett Vesely]

I like this one a little bit better.

[John Holmberg]

Bruno. Solid.

[Brett Vesely]

It almost looks like an AI song or. Sounds like it.

[Brady]

It does.

[Brett Vesely]

And we got tons of AI stuff because there isn't really much up front.

[John Holmberg]

There's no need for it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, we could do this one.

[John Holmberg]

I Just saw the title of that one.

[Brett Vesely]

Which one?

[John Holmberg]

The Eat Me, It's Taco Tuesday. Oh, well, we go to that one. Give me that first.

[Brett Vesely]

Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

Eat Me, It's Taco Tuesday.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, here you go.

[John Holmberg]

From Kimmy Head. She's good. We remember her.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big taco lady from the 60s. Eating a taco. Dust on your boots, hunger in your gaze I'm standing here in the this little sundress smiling real slow, you can guess the rest Tequila's poor limes cut just right but darling, tonight I'm your only bite no need for a menu boy get to it. You already know I'm hot and ready just waiting for you to go Eat me, it's Taco Tuesday Come on, baby, get a little mess Taco Bell doesn't get on this record. That's a smash hit. Eat Me, It's Taco Tuesday is gold. And Elon said that in a few years time she'll be able to come over to your house and you can do it because these fake people are gonna become real right in front of you.

[Brett Vesely]

Still a little country for Dale. All right, this is let's do Butt stuff tonight. It's a band. 50s country song.

[John Holmberg]

By Tara Hole in Me.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's good. Maybe you've been working so hard already. I have an idea that's both wild and sweet Pour some wine list in the lights down low Just take my hand and let the candles glow Ooh, I can see that you're curious it's gonna get good. Don't be shy and honey, don't make a fuss do but stuff tonight. Oh, yeah, I know that it'll feel. I don't like country music, but I like the message. All right, we're adding that one. Let's do butt Stuff Tonight is a hit.

[Brett Vesely]

How about kickstart My Heart as a funk cover?

[John Holmberg]

Motley Crue Kickstart My Heart. Hey, I funked it up with the guys.

[Toledo]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The video is Zombie Crew.

[Toledo]

Doing the Blues Brothers dance.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's skip a little intros real long.

[John Holmberg]

My heart, my heart Kick start my heart Always got the cops coming after me. Custom built back doing 103. My heart, my heart Kickstart My heart. Ooh, Are you ready, girl?

[Toledo]

Like Mick Mars always looks like a slee stack nowadays.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. I like that.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not bad. I'll do one more of those and then we'll get to editor afterward. Let's do Flagpole six.

[Brady]

Sita.

[Brett Vesely]

Soul Danger.

[John Holmberg]

All right, These guys Are on heroin See a little bit clearer the rottenness and evil in me.

[Brady]

FingerTips and memories.

[John Holmberg]

One can't forget the curl of your body. Yeah, that's all right.

[Brett Vesely]

I do like the chorus, though, with that.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, so let's go to N word or F word. The game of the sweep of the nation today. Tech 9. Like I am ain't.

[John Holmberg]

Who won last week? Me.

[Brady]

I got it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, did you? Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah. Angry N word.

[John Holmberg]

Angry N word from Brady. I'll go. I'm gonna go. Angry F word.

[Toledo]

Damn it. All right, then. It's not gonna happen. But friendly N word. All right, tech nine, let's see.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, like I ain't on 1, 2, 3 pac. Like I ain't finna bust with my.

[Brett Vesely]

Homeboy make the beat drop.

[John Holmberg]

Boom. F word it is. AI scary, man.

[Toledo]

After the break.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, you're late.

[Toledo]

Yeah, we got. We got a lot to get to.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll do yours later.

[Brady]

After the break.

[John Holmberg]

So that AI talk screwed up everything. AI wouldn't have let this happen. I need an AI producer to get me on time. Yeah, we'll get to Toledo's half of this in just seconds. It's 98. 98 what? 98. No, one way home. Bird's morning sickness. Yeah, I get it, Jack. As all morning on the emails and it's fun. Say, hey, John, I don't even feel bad this morning after the Steelers loss, and I mean physically, I didn't put any effort in and I only lost to them by six. That's true. They only beat us by six last night. That was not a good performance. Off they go. Jackasses. It's all right toider. You got four. Finish it up. Give me the movies and TV shows. I want good TV shows. I'm well out's back, by the way. And I've been on that again.

[Toledo]

But if you're like episode four now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're a Fallout fan, maybe it's me. I don't have a clue what's going on because the gap time is awesome. Between the first season and this one, I needed a refresh, and the refresh was like, I don't remember any of that either. So then I'm like, ah. So now I'm just watching for fighting. I've become that guy who's too stupid to follow a story. That's unfortunate because they do things too big of gaps.

[Toledo]

I haven't started yet. I've been waiting for the episodes stack up so I could watch a couple of them at a time. That's good on Apple tv. This seems weird to me. Hijack season two. Okay, so was there no resolution in season one to a hijacking?

[John Holmberg]

That a second hijack?

[Brady]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

It just seems to me that Hijack two.

[Toledo]

Why would you want to watch a season two of hijack? Like Taken two and three.

[John Holmberg]

But is it about a hijack?

[Brady]

Another hijack?

[John Holmberg]

You. What was the first one about?

[Toledo]

Hijacking a plane Hijacking. But this one on ground. The first one I think was into the air cuz he foiled a hijack.

[John Holmberg]

Idris Elar there is going to foil a train hijacking. You can hijack a train to do what? So what do we know? Diverted to Cuba.

[Toledo]

This debuts tomorrow on Apple.

[John Holmberg]

Based in London special specializing in corporate negotiations. Isn't this just speed on a choo choo?

[Toledo]

It is kind of, yeah. Starfleet Academy debuts on Paramount plus. Yeah. Another. Another Star Trek. So many. So many.

[John Holmberg]

What's that one right there? Right there. Just looking at moons and stuff. I don't. Yeah, we all know what stars.

[Brady]

This is the one with the. Paul Giamatti, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Is he in it? What?

[Brady]

Really? Really?

[John Holmberg]

I think no. And a guy that looks an awful lot.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't care. It's more Star Trek.

[Brady]

Jump ahead.

[Toledo]

This looks like young teens.

[John Holmberg]

We're getting out of space. That's the room. Oh my God. Paul Giamatti's gone crazy in space. Oh, it's got. Yeah. All right. I don't care about Star Trek in the future.

[Brady]

The rip.

[Toledo]

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are back on Netflix. This debuts on Friday. It's a movie.

[John Holmberg]

Movie and turn it in.

[Toledo]

Trust has a price. Who will pay the rip is only on Netflix. This Friday involves police in Miami who find a stash of cash and have a day. A dilemma of whether or not they keep it.

[John Holmberg]

What are we report. Oh, that. I wouldn't be such a bad cop.

[Brady]

Stay off the radios.

[John Holmberg]

No call outs. American Gangster. Exactly what they did. Yeah, just this. Everything. Not me. If I'm a cop and I find a wall full of Home Depot buckets of cash, I'm taking at least one.

[Toledo]

Sorry. Nope.

[Brady]

We didn't get a heads up about this.

[John Holmberg]

The longer we stay here, the dicier the gets.

[Toledo]

Sorry about that.

[Brett Vesely]

S word. I'll take that.

[John Holmberg]

Went on the S word.

[Toledo]

How about this one on TLC tonight? I believe you can start watching Suddenly Amish Brady.

[John Holmberg]

How fast would you be a crooked cop? What do you think? First time you do something like a.

[Brady]

Big bust, it's just cash.

[John Holmberg]

How fast would even Brady be? Like, jesus, you stumble across it, you're the only one in the room.

[Brady]

Be tough. That'd be a quantity.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no. 1. This is not a quantity.

[Brady]

Well, the only thing I think I'd be, you know, how smart would you be on super driving in the next day with a Ferrari?

[John Holmberg]

No, but that's what they did in that thing in the New York cops, they said started buying super nice cars when they were. You know, I would do that. I would. I'd be like, wow, there's $877,000 here. That's an odd amount of money. I'm like, that's what I thought.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

It's. Apparently they didn't finish their sale anytime.

[Brady]

They. It's hard not to be skeptical when you hear these big busts like and 25 million in cash.

[John Holmberg]

There was 30. Trust me, there was 30.

[Brady]

You need new equipment.

[John Holmberg]

I would be super good equipment. About keep. I'd keep a Home Depot bucket in my house full of the money. I'd never. I'd never spend my own. And I'd pretend to be super frugal and then I'd go do stuff without anybody knowing. The thing would be of like, John went to Vegas again. You wouldn't know that just weekends. I wouldn't. I would just disappear and have a blast.

[Toledo]

And you remember how Chuck was, you know, every. Every little thing was to the bottom line. Like, what happens in a city that. That seizes $25 million? That go to the bottom line of the city budget.

[John Holmberg]

Look, if there's 25 million seized, there's 30 million they found.

[Toledo]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

You cops aren't all good.

[Toledo]

You guys take a commission, you take.

[John Holmberg]

A percentage, and it's. You know what? Good for you. You put your life on the line every day. I would steal. I think I'd be on the job for eight days before I'd have my first. Like, I shouldn't have done that. All right, Eight days in a cop uniform and I'd be like, I hit that woman a little hard. And then also I stole from them. Right. I wonder if I went through your pockets. I would be a bad cop. All right, time. I'd shoot everybody too. I mean, I'd be shooting everybody. I wouldn't tolerate any of this nonsense.

[Toledo]

You'd be like, who is that reverend here locally that went through that training, shot everybody?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they put him through police training after he. That the cops are too violent and he shot everyone. One sweating, staring at the end like that was harder than I thought it was going to be. I shot everybody, but I'm not trained. It's like, yeah, that was your first initial reaction, though. So just imagine you have a bad day. I love to have bad days. Yeah, he changed his brain on that. What happened to that guy? He used to be all over there. Every time something happened, we'd see that. Look him up.

[Brady]

I got you.

[John Holmberg]

We're good. It's time now for us to not have time. It's. There you go. Your hot releases are upon you. It's 98 KUPD. It's out of control now. Morning sickness. Done with the day. It's time for the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by our friends, the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Schwartz Laser Eye. It's where you go to get your eyes fixed. I did mine. My right eye was a disaster. And now it's down to 2020 once again. And thanks to Dr. Jay Schwartz and the team out there for finding. Finding the glorious problem that was a cataract in my eye. Could be trauma based. It could have been the sun. It could have been.

[Brady]

You think something was going on in the cataract? Like, was things in the cataract? Was it blurry? Was it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, how do you know it was, like, without? Well, because I couldn't see basic stuff like screens or. The big test I always do is check.

[Brady]

I just thought it was your vision.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So my vision wasn't right, but it was going fast.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the license plate in the car in front of you. If you can't read it, you need a. A doctor. And you go, Dr. Schwartz, that's my. That's my test. You can use street signs as your example, but then you don't really know how to gauge. You should be able to read a license plate in front of you without squinting. And a lot of people can't. You don't realize. Like, mine got to the point where it was like, I couldn't. I couldn't tell what state the plate was from. I was faking my way through life thinking, ah, it's good. And it's amazing how bad your vision can get before you actually do something because you can kind of skate through. And then when they fixed it, I'm like, this is how you're supposed to do. See? So I had the lens replaced, and it was unreal. So check it all out. They have their complimentary consultation. You get on out there, they take a look at you, and they're like, hey, let's get you in a plan. If you're tired of glasses, whatever, they've got the lasik, they've got the lens replacements, they've got all sorts of stuff. Let them look at your eyes so you can use them properly. So the Schwartz Laser eye center, the Diamondbacks, the suns, they're all there. You should be too. Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

This is interview from Leo DiCaprio and Team Beat magazine from 1991. The answers that he gave. First ambition. Acting. First record bot, Michael Jackson's thriller. Favorite book, Lord of the Flies. Favorite musician, Harry Connick Jr. That was.

[John Holmberg]

At the time, right?

[Brady]

Yep. Favorite band, Pink Floyd. His favorite song at the the time. You can't touch this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was all going all right until. Right there.

[Brady]

Favorite actor, Jack Nicholson. Favorite actress was Meg Ryan.

[John Holmberg]

Now, all his answers, except you can't touch this are pretty on point.

[Brady]

Favorite TV show? The original Twilight Zone.

[John Holmberg]

Good stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Solid.

[Brady]

Worst school subject. Math.

[Brett Vesely]

Solid.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'm. I think I'm in love with him.

[Brady]

Yeah, you'll be in love with them, Brett. Favorite food. Pasta. Pasta and more pasta.

[John Holmberg]

The Olive Garden. The Olive Garden. He loves it like mama used to make in the Garden. The garden of olives.

[Brady]

Eight pop culture moments turning 20 years old today. 2016 or 20 2006.

[John Holmberg]

We gotcha.

[Brady]

Sorry. Movies, Cars, Pirates of the Caribbean, being Dead Man's Chest. High School Musical.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Sexy back hips don't lie. Crazy by narrows Barkley.

[John Holmberg]

That's 20 years old.

[Brady]

TV shows Dexter, Heroes and Psych all debuted. Pluto lost its status as a planet.

[John Holmberg]

Was that. That was 20 years ago.

[Brady]

Crocodile Hunter. Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

That was 20 years ago ago. Shut up. The amount of time since we lost the Crocodile Hunter is the same amount of time from 1986 to 2006.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

That has passed. Get off my planet.

[Brady]

Twitter debuted on March 21st.

[John Holmberg]

When would you have guessed? Crocodile Hunter died 10 years ago, Max. Yeah. Yeah, it feels like maybe five.

[Brady]

But you think about his kid now one dancing star when he was.

[John Holmberg]

But he was only like 22.

[Brady]

He was. Yeah. So he was really young, but I.

[John Holmberg]

Thought he knew his dad a little better. Get out of here. That can't be right. Double check that he died in like 2016, 2017. That can't be right. The crocodile hunter was 2006.

[Brady]

Do you want to a list of celebrities who turned 50 this year?

[Brett Vesely]

November or September 4, 2006.

[John Holmberg]

Age 44 for is crushing me. How about that? What's the other one?

[Brady]

List of celebrities who turned 50 this year.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's have it.

[Brady]

Reese Witherspoon.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Ryan Reynolds.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Benedict Cumberbatch. Rashida Jones. Peyton Manning. This. Sean Williams. Scott.

[John Holmberg]

This seems like it's all trash.

[Brady]

Yeah. Zoe Sale. Donna is now the highest grossing actor of all time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, because she's in those.

[Brady]

Because of Avatar. Fire and Ash just put her over the 16.6 billion dollar at the box office.

[John Holmberg]

What are the other ones? Outside of Avatar, she's in that did so well. Oh, she's in Marvel.

[Brady]

All the Marvel movies. Yeah. The Guardians.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Number two is Scarlett Johansson. Same thing. Marvel.

[John Holmberg]

It's Bill Paxton. It's still in there.

[Brady]

Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr. All these. Marvel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Chris Pratt, Tom Cruise, Vin Diesel, Chris Evans. Dwayne Johnson's number 10.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? How about that?

[Brady]

Alec Baldwin thinks John Lennon and Paul McCartney were in love and that's why Yoko Ono wanted to split them up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a gay rumor now between the two.

[Brady]

Yeah. And he bases upon a video watching John Lennon and Paul McCartney in a film studio in 1969 performing an upbeat version of The Two of Us. Looks like they're having fun. And at one point, the camera cuts to Yoko.

[John Holmberg]

She's not happy.

[Brady]

No, not amused whatsoever.

[John Holmberg]

Yoko wasn't there. Ought have allowed Paul in my mouth. And I was done at too.

[Brady]

Jack Osborne says he and his wife and kids have been seeing Ozzy laughing in their dreams. All of them. All right, he's laughing in the dreams and he's. He's saying, stop crying and eat something.

[John Holmberg]

He's saying to Kelly, you've got to do something about Kelly. She's wasting away. She looks like Ariana Grande's ribs. She's thinner than Ariana. And lady. It's not that big a deal. And I died. We all, everyone else knew it was coming. My own family can't handle it.

[Brady]

It's also happened. British guitarist Billy Morrison told Jack. He's also dreamt of Aussie saying, he's good, he's not in pain.

[John Holmberg]

How funny would it be if you had that dream?

[Brady]

A word from Sharon.

[John Holmberg]

Middle of sleep. I would wake up giggling for half an hour. Said, did that just happen? Hey, John, wake up. I want to talk to you about some stuff. Hey, thanks, Ozzy. I'm not a dream. I'm not in pain anymore. I didn't know you were.

[Brett Vesely]

But after a while it'd get annoying.

[John Holmberg]

All right, enough. Keep it down, Sharon.

[Brady]

Now, how many dreams are going to happen? Now we talk about it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we force dreams into people. It's like Inception With Ozzy Osbourne. Well, let's get into your dream. You climb. You climb into mine. But wouldn't it be weirder if. If they said that I introduced Brady to my family through dreams. Now that's something I just want you to know someone. Aussie, go to bed. This is my new friend Brady. I met him in the dreams. It's inception. Now if I had dreams about Ozzy, it would be great. Especially if he was my Dr. Dad. Kelly's got to eat something. I don't know what's going on with Kelly Osborne, but it's not good. She looks horrifying. Anyway, that's it. We're done.

[Brett Vesely]

Huh?

[John Holmberg]

Larry's here. He's going to take over from now and we're done for Tuesday. I will get some rest and I'll be over this by tomorrow. The Steelers thing will be off my mind. The season is over. I'm in mourning that my football season has ended and I no longer care who wins. I don't have anybody to hate, hate.

[Brady]

You'll be looking for a quarterback though, won't you?

[John Holmberg]

Probably, but not immediately.

[Brady]

Take some time.

[John Holmberg]

Give. Give it a couple vacation. I'll start talking about it next week. But a little depressed today.

[Brett Vesely]

He's not coming back, right? Or is he still wishy washy?

[John Holmberg]

I just said I'm not going to talk about that for a few days. Just let me have some time.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not over.

[John Holmberg]

I pack up my bags and get out.

[Brady]

He done?

[John Holmberg]

Larry's coming up next. He's got a gannon. Yeah, he's got. Yeah. Oh God. He's got no. No team in the hunt at all. And he just seems to live a better, better way. No pain from sports. It's awful. Larry's next. You guys be nice to him. He'll be nice back. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness.

[Brady]

Hello.

[John Holmberg]

It's out of control now.