Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona (98 KUPD)
Episode: 01-13-26 – Full Show (Tuesday)
Date: January 13, 2026
Main Theme & Purpose
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is a blend of post-football blues, signature comedic banter, playful self-roasting, and a surprisingly deep dive into artificial intelligence and existential questions about society's future. The crew, led by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo, covers everything from NFL coaching shakeups, personal nostalgia about childhood poverty meals, vehicle stereotypes, and the profound implications of AI and abundance, all in their typical irreverent and Arizona-flavored style.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Football Season Fallout & NFL Coaching Gossip
- Holmberg is bummed about the Steelers’ season ending and shares a personal story of being heckled at a gas station while wearing Steelers gear (03:00).
- "All I was doing was getting gas.... and the guy goes, 'Hey, the Steelers suck, Holmberg, you suck.' And I'm like, Jesus Christ…” – John, [03:10]
- Discussion about what’s next for the Steelers, speculates on Coach Mike Tomlin’s potential departure, and possibilities for coaching shakeups across the league (04:50).
- “You're nine years without a playoff win and you've lost seven in the first round. That's... a record. You don't want those kind of records hanging on your neck.” – John, [04:47]
- Quick jabs at the Arizona Cardinals’ ineptitude and hypothetical coaching swaps, especially the insanity of trading coaches (06:00).
2. Comedic Tangents on Cars, Stereotypes, and Suburban Life
- The crew riff on the Subaru Outback as a “lesbian car” and Brady’s past pride (and ridicule) over owning one (10:10–14:39). Stories include the “Navratilova edition,” and car dealership sales tricks, stadium seating in the Honda Element, and the infamous Pontiac Aztec tent car.
- “It was the Subaru Outback. Yeah. It was the Navratilova edition. Outdoorsman. Lesbian. It had a tennis racket on the side of it. It was gayest car of all time.” – John, [10:18]
- "If you see a man driving an Outback, it's a unicorn. His lesbian sister is loaning him a car." – John, [12:43]
3. Personal History with Poverty Meals & Parenting
- The group dives into stories about their childhood meals and parental stinginess. John comically laments growing up on “egg sandwiches and 8 Fritos,” realizing live on-air that his parents “cheaped out” on food by convincing him ghetto meals were a treat (36:00+).
- “I thought I had a pretty good childhood... Eggs, sandwich and eight Fritos. What the—yeah. They never gave me money for lunch.” – John, [42:22]
- They contrast this with modern parents taking kids to sushi and complain about today’s expectations (“Never eat something called a Coney.” – John, [35:56]).
4. Philosophy on Kids & Parental Lawsuits
- Extended, bluntly comedic rants on why Holmberg dislikes having children at his house (27:00–33:06), using stories about friends’ kids, dogs biting, and restaurant experiences.
- “If you never touch someone else's kid, even with a high five, you knock them down. It's a virus coming at you. You might as well think of them as Covid.” – John, [25:16]
- The crowd agrees: kids are lawsuit machines better kept at a distance.
- “The fastest way to hate kids is to have them.” – Brett, [31:32]
5. WNBA Strike, Caitlin Clark & League Politics
- An incredulous breakdown over rumors of a WNBA player strike and gender equity in sports, while poking fun at the league's reliance on NBA funding (48:11–55:32).
- “It’s the least feminist thing ever. Men pay for it. It wouldn't exist if the... men's league didn’t cover it. That’s insulting.” – John, [55:16]
- Suggestion: The league should protect Caitlin Clark like the NBA did with Larry Bird & Magic Johnson.
6. Deep Dive: AI, Abundance, and the Future According to Elon Musk
- A lengthy, surprisingly philosophical segment where John shares Elon Musk’s prediction: in 10–15 years, AI and robotics will create “an abundance of everything,” making both work and money obsolete (55:41+).
- “Saving money in the next 10 years is pointless... in about 10 or 15 years, saving for retirement won’t matter... There’s no reason to, you know, hold away a bunch of money.” – John, [57:52]
- The crew debates if humanity would lose its sense of purpose, whether there’d be peace or more complaints, and if society will resemble “WALL-E” or a kept spouse with no self-identity. They grapple with the odds of resentment if they end up the last generation that had to work.
- Futuristic speculation includes fully-automated homes, AI health care, and even “abundance of blowjobs, food... never have to work again.” (84:14).
- “We’ll all know what it’s like to be a beautiful woman because some dude’s going to cover all your expenses ... That’s the future with robots!” – John, [70:22]
- Memorable quote: “You have all the world’s information in your hand. If you’re stupid, that’s your fault.” – John, [57:41]
- Cites Moonshots with Peter Diamandis as the source for Elon’s comments (83:02, 84:02).
7. Barbie's New Autistic and Diverse Dolls
- The show lampoons Mattel releasing neurodiverse and diabetic Barbie dolls (108:46+).
- "It's just a Barbie doll that's neurodivergent or autistic. Aren't there like wild levels of that?" – John, [110:06]
- How far will “diversity Barbie” go (Tourette’s? Trans? Down syndrome)? The consensus: The representation feels more for adults than children.
8. “Chapel Ganger”: The Quest for Uglier Doppelgangers
- The group riffs on Gen Z’s term “chapel ganger” (an uglier doppelganger), playfully ranking each other’s looks versus celebrities (100:00+).
- “I’m the uglier version of that. I’m at baseline one, and everyone that sort of looks like me—I’m the ugliest version of that.” – John, [101:56]
- Brady claims he’s better looking than Butterbean, the boxer, leading to raucous debate.
9. Explicit Humor: Odd Medical Cases and Sexual Oddities
- Amusing medical news items: a guy hospitalized with a 7-inch sweet potato in his rectum (118:09).
- NSFW video review: erotic content featuring a very small man with a full-sized woman (126:49).
- The team wonders if these will be “abundant” in Elon Musk’s future, too.
10. Hot Releases, Music & Pop Culture
- Review segments include riffs on new songs (Bruno Mars, AI-generated country tunes like “Let’s Do Butt Stuff Tonight”), and AI-generated funk covers like "Kickstart My Heart."
- Brief pop culture notes: the 20th anniversary of Pluto losing its planet status, and pop hits from 2006 “SexyBack,” “Hips Don’t Lie,” “Crazy” (171:04).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On being heckled as a Steelers fan:
“How did you do that? You punched me... And then made it personal by actually going, 'and I know who you are too, you prick.'” – John Holmberg, [03:37] -
On childhood meals:
“My lunch was a scrambled egg with two pieces of Wonder Bread around it, in a bag, an apple, maybe some of those, like, baby Fritos. I get a couple of Fritos ... My mom scrambles up some eggs every morning. We were Depression era. I didn’t even know it until today.” – John, [41:35] -
On AI and societal purpose:
“We will struggle with our own purpose. We’ll be covered… If you had a wife that you just provided for, she has no identity. That’s what we’ll all be. That you have provisions constantly given to you and you don’t have to do anything.” – John, [64:01] -
On the future of relationships:
“Everyone will know what it’s like to be a beautiful woman because some dude's going to cover all your expenses.” – John, [70:22] -
On WNBA’s feminist claims:
“It’s the least feminist thing ever… men pay for it. It wouldn’t exist... That’s like, insulting. It’s an insulting thing to say: ‘We’ll cover you, go play your little sports, little lady, we’ll pay for that.’” – John, [55:13] -
On “Chapel Ganger” and self-image:
“Mine is both Johnny Sins and the Sloth from the Goonies.” – John, [104:39] -
On doubting personal surgical skill:
“You didn’t know to take the plastic wrap off windshield wipers and… now you’re transplanting livers? That’s different. That’s… no, it’s not. That's a totally—there’s no hardware.” – John, [148:32]
Important Segment Timestamps
- Football Season Recap & Steelers Woes: 03:00–08:00
- Car Stereotypes and Brady’s Outback: 10:10–14:39
- Childhood Poverty Meals & Parental Cheapness: 36:00–46:00
- Anti-Kid Rants and Lawsuit Fears: 25:10–33:06
- WNBA Strike & League Management: 48:11–55:32
- Elon Musk, AI, and the Future: 55:41–84:14
- Barbie and Representation Satire: 108:46–114:40
- Chapel Ganger/Uglier Doppelganger Discussion: 100:00–105:00
- NSFW Video Review: 126:49–128:50
Tone & Language
- Raw, irreverent, and unfiltered comedic banter.
- Frequent self-deprecation and roasting each other.
- Arizona-local flavor: sports, Valley venues, and cultural touchpoints.
- Pop culture savvy with nostalgic references from the 80s–2000s.
- Philosophical when discussing AI—playful yet sincere questioning of modernity and purpose.
Conclusion
This episode is classic Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: a freewheeling, often hilarious, sometimes provocative exploration of sports, everyday struggles, nostalgia, and future musings—all laced with sharp wit and camaraderie. While the show jumps between topics, it maintains a continuous thread of self-aware, funny, and unexpectedly insightful commentary about life—be it in a world with NFL heartbreak or abundant AI blowjobs.