← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
01-14-25 - Imploring LA Fans Here In Town To Go Back And Not Stay Here In AZ - Sam Darnold And All USC QBs Are Fools Gold And Like A Hot Girl w/Warts In The Pros - Emailer Asks Who Would We Prefer Move Here Boston Philly Or LA People
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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do and. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The core institute.com Good morning, my chilly little friends. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo off and running. It's cold out this morning. That's legitimate chill out there. Nice 35 degree start to the day. You walk out and like, pop, whoops. Forgot about this. Finally get a little cold in our system. I like it. I like it. Couple days in a row, ain't no complaints about that. We're supposed to have some sort of a. I don't know, winter, I suppose. I just guess that's what you call this. And then it shuts all those people up going, I prefer seasons. Shut up. No one likes you. No one likes anybody who's ever said that. I can't live here. I prefer seasons. Then leave, please. And by the way, all you folks from la, I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I am, truly, you know, it's. It's hit home close with a very dear friend that we, we certainly, you know, have watched, not feel great about this situation with the house that was lost and so Thousands of people like that. But you can't stay here. Get out. You were here last night. Go home. You do not love our city. Do not like it here that much. It's terrible schools and there's not a lot going on here compared to la. You need to go home. Go home. You Los Angelenos have been through enough. Now don't come bringing your problems into my house. The last thing I want is that aunt who's going through a divorce because she just found out that her husband had, like, multiple affairs and brought warts into the place. I don't want you moving in with me. So it's time for you guys to go home with your. With your coast and your beautiful sunsets and your terrible ideas and leave them in Los Angeles. They can build anything they want here without regulations. That's right. Now go home. Get the out of here. You guys don't have anything that protects any of the smaller plants on the trail? That's right. Go the home. We protect the saguaros to a degree. There's still some hillbillies out there that shoot them. We don't lose our minds. Call the governor. For the most part, we leave the cactus alone. Everything else is fair game. I'll stomp out a couple cactus on my. On my bike rides. But you people were here last night. And I didn't like what the news was doing at all. Walking over to those people who bust in from Los Angeles. How many came in earlier? And a lot. That stadium's pretty damn full earlier, I don't think. But once they got here, they looked around and went. This place has no bad. Wait a minute. Hold on. They don't have tornadoes, earthquakes, mudslides. Why aren't we living here like this? This city is not gonna burn down. You go the home. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Pack up your ass and get the hell out now. Go back to your ashtray and figure it out. It's not our problem. I love you. I hope you can't stay here. We're a bar at 1:58am you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. We wanted to come by and talk a little bit about DEI in the Phoenix. Get out. Get out. They're bringing their ideas. Yeah, you can stay so long as you leave your ideas back there in the rubble. That's. Is that fair? We like saying the word twink. You guys lose your minds over it. We can't have that. We can't have you here. Sorry. Just. I like a world where I can look at Brett and go, you're dressed like a twink. And I don't lose my job, my house, everybody. It's. You know, we understand. We get jokes here in Arizona. We still laugh at stuff. We. You know, it doesn't mean we hate everybody involved. If Brett's in a. If Brett showed up in a pink Izod, I would immediately. Why is he dressed like a twink? I get what's going on. We would say it. And we like being able to do that. We're one of the last places in the world. And you can. I can see you out there and your hotels about to board your bus right before you checked Redfin last night to see how the prices are around here. Did you hear that? He's anti. Nope, Nope. Get the out. You take your ideas home. It's enough. The news was interviewing people like crazy. We just want to thank Arizona for their hospitality. What a beautiful city you have. I'm like, ah, crap. It was a perfect day. Was just beautiful. They found us. Yeah, they found us. Roll up the welcome carpet. Yes. The red carpet is now rolled up and covered and. And cactus needles and terrible things and, you know, backwards, back, backwards hillbilly desert ideas. You don't want to live here. We're nuts. We're flat crazy. Anyway. We don't need all of your. Why don't you have solar panels? Shouldn't that take six years to get on? You gotta get out. What about the pea pods? I don't know what you're talking about. If they lose pea pods, the dreaded ant will die. No. What you're talking about killing ants. I have no. I don't care about that. The ecology. Get out. Prepare for Palisades Valley. Yeah. Oh, my God. Could you imagine if those. If those people all moved here in one big thing when summer got here? How much they'd think global warming had just attacked us in an hour. It's 118. This is uninhabitable. We need to make. We'd be. And some sort of a weird electric car debate every goddamn day with these nut bags moving over here. You stay where you belong. That's a nice place for you. You guys all seem to get along over there. Why would you undercut this forest? You have not learned your lesson at all, have you? That's called a haboob. Yeah. It seems to be a global warming phenomenon. No, Stop saying that. We've had them for years. Did you say boob? Boob. We can't do that. Oh, my God. We can't do that anymore. What about women with breast cancer? They can't. Oh, Jesus Christ. We can't even say haboob. The Californians will crush us. It's definitely not normal. All right, you shut up. They gotta go. And they won last night. It's a nice game for them. They, you know, good distraction. The weather was too nice. I wish yesterday was like a real mucky kind of strange, a little bit cold, a little bit wet. But no, we had a absolutely perfect, crystal clear day for those people to come over and start thinking about it. Were the Rams that good or were the Vikings that bad? It's kind of. The Vikings have been fool's gold all year. To me, Sam Darnold has been that guy. He's a USC quarterback. And they're a little less dangerous than an Ohio State quarterback. Kudos to Brady's Ohio State quarterbacks. They show up, aside from CJ Stroud last year, and they just the bed immediately in the NFL, they're terrible. Immediately have been all. Always have been, always will be for the future. With maybe the exception of C.J. stroud, although he came back down to earth. USC quarterbacks are usually the opposite. They look great in college, show up in the pros, struggle, and then get traded somewhere and have a couple of good years. Mark Sanchez, Carson Palmer. There's all sorts of them that show up and you're like, no, maybe, I don't know. And then they have that one magical year. But then it can never culminate into anything really good. And so I think Sam Darnold kind of got all right against real teams and real situations. He became that USC quarterback. And now to me, the danger is and Cardinal fans will watch this whole season go by. We put up some really good numbers, very Carson Palmer like, and think we had luck with Carson Palmer. To what degree did you have luck with Carson Palmer? Because you didn't get far. You got better than you were. Which USC quarterbacks are great at? You know what they are? They're like the Flipper shows on hgtv. They show up and you're like, wow, this guy seems to know what he's doing. And then they take something kind of cruddy and they paint it. And instead of, you know, the real nice countertops, they use the quartzite. But it looks they'll dress up a pig pretty nice. And you walk away going, hey, they did a nice. It's like our building. They did a nice job here. And then you realize, oh, oh, it's falling apart. It's not going to last long. They're very shiny and showy. But deep down there's no longevity to a USC quarterback. Wasn't Matt Leinert us? Absolutely. It showed a couple flashes. He never went on to another team and did well because I think he was too busy just being the most handsome man in football and probably taking advantage of that. And he. I know, what are you going to do? But the, the, the, the Cardinal fans are sitting. Maybe we make a move for Sim. He's going to make $50 million next year and I'm going to have you look up a guy named Scott Mitchell because that's a dude that he is. He's exactly the same as that Carson Palmer also has like last night it started to show again. I've always looked at him like he was really. He's like a beautiful woman when he was in college. Very pretty, gorgeous girl. You're like, man, everybody's looking at her. I think that's a. I think that's the real deal. Like he did great things at usc, looked really good. Comes to the pros, starts playing with some people that are a little less attractive. She clearly. But then doesn't shine above the ugly. Just kind of becomes one. When he went to the jets, he became a Jet. He was. He started dressing like that and like he wasn't as pretty. And then you found out the jets gave her warts. So then she leaves and she's pretty again. Cause she still looks good, but deep down, you know she's always had warts. Like she's the pretty girl with warts. And then when she gets with other pretty non wart girls like the Rams last night, her insecurity starts showing. She goes back to her old ways of being that warty girl who used to be pretty but has too many things going wrong. She can't be pretty like the other ones. Matthew Stafford. Very pretty. Beautiful. No worries. Very pretty. Went over to the Lions and despite how bad the Lions were, always looked pretty. Like the Lions couldn't keep up with him. Goes to la, beautiful woman. They're like, you don't have warts, do you? Lions didn't give you warts. Like, no, I don't have it. Then you're still beautiful and we're gonna let that shine. Sam Darnold. His warts showed the last two weeks. So we'll always have the stain of being the beautiful girl with the bumpy V. He might have been able to rub a couple off. Last night was on the turf so much. Well, yeah, I mean, he's definitely had blood in his. He was definitely on his back a lot. He had an outbreak is what Brady's saying. If there was an outbreak, there was definitely some stains in the pants at the end, but always will have that taint of warts that the jets gave him and then Carolina gave him. And he's never had that. He never been, never been able to regain that beautiful girl status he had at USC. Always gonna have a visit. Homeburg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com college hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with the baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzzballs for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew en and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters. The original wayne joined since 1983. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne, now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice. Is that a big deal to get done? Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco. Google Amco for your nearest location. Amcode, Double A, MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools from our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202. Emmet Clintock Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also online@fishertools.com cup KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order. When you mentioned this ad, Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness Talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in Valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies. So that we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com Homeburg's morning sickness. So the next. The next dude. And they'll be at the guy. They'll be like, I don't care if go words. I'm still banging her. She looks great. She's hot. You're right. Those numbers look good. But here's the deal. You give a girl with warts $50 million, she gives you warts. That's basically all you can. Cardinal fans stop talking about Sam Darnold. Let somebody else make that mistake. Las Vegas. I'm looking at you, enj. Vegas has warts. They don't care. They'll share warts. Vegas will be like, you look beautiful. Sam, how you doing? I have to tell you before we do this that I have warts. Is that all? Just call me Valtrex. We're the Vegas Raiders. Warts is the last thing on our mind. We're pretty sure we have aids, but we don't even get tested anymore. So come play with us for 50 million and then the whole thing will just collapse. You can't have. You can't have Sam Darnold as your 50, 60 million dollar guy. In fact, it made the decision easy for the Vikings yesterday, the last two weeks, playing the Lions and playing the Rams. You watch the real Sam Darnold show up and you're like, oh, we're not giving this guy Money. We'll let JJ McCarthy show up and do it. But don't do it, Cardinal fans. And don't talk about it. He's not the guy. Let him go somewhere else. And it'll. He might have another season like he did this year in Jacksonville or something stupid. And then he'd be like, man, we should have gotten him. Imagine what he did. No, no, he's. He'll get you someplace on looks. But when it's time for the exam, big trouble. USC quarterbacks have that. There's. There aren't many. Matt Leiner was so beautiful. He didn't even care about, like, that dude didn't even, like, try to play football. He just took the money and like, I'll be beautiful somewhere else. That's why when I watched the nc, that. That Game Day show. Yeah. That is a gaggle of failures, that whole thing of experts on that. I can't take that show seriously. I don't know how it's got such great ratings. You got what, Colt McCoy? No, not Colt McCoy. It was the other. Brady Quinn. Yep. Matt Leinert. Which is hilarious that those two are your two quarterback experts on how things work. It's like, wow. If you ever want to talk to two dudes about how not to make it, it's them and it's not even on them. The top notch guy is Kirk Herbstreet. Kirk Herbstreet, right. Who was a college superstar. And it played okay. He was good. He played okay in the pros. He wasn't anything special. I'll give that one. He's boring, but he's the dude calling the games. Is he on the panel? On the front. On the. On the Sit down show? I don't think he's just saying he's even higher up, more or less. And then you got Urban Meyer, arguably, but it's so close that I don't even think you can say arguably the worst head coach in the NFL's history. It has nothing to do about the background. Their dream boats. Their dream boats. There's a loaded Reggie Bush, who was good in the pros, but, you know, was so great in the college that you thought that whole thing is just a gaggle of dudes who get you laid at a fraternity party. But then when you start talking about the NFL, it's like, let's talk to. Let's talk to real players. You guys don't need to. I don't need your opinions for any of this. They're recruiting Mitch Trubisky for next season right here. So, I mean, oh, you'll get Trubisky in there. There's a load of them. Be like, hey, guys, what's going on? It's like, you're handsome. Were you good in college? Because that's where life stops. Throwing the finger guns out. Yeah, because once you turn 24, it's all downhill, Right? That's what we've experienced. Yeah, that. That is a whole lot. And then Pat McAfee shows up and he's the star. That's a punter like that dude. I trust his NFL experience. So Much more than anybody else. Yeah. And he doesn't care because he realizes I was just a punter. And then you look at that lineup of all those guys, you're like, my goodness. I mean, we're supposed to take them seriously with what they're talking. These all, they're all four guys are beautiful women with warts. Like bad ones. Like a wart convention of models. So what I'm saying is do not trust, and I mean do not trust at all the Sam Darnold. Now if the Steelers went out and got Sam Darnold, I'd lose my mind because we'd be the exact same team we've been for the last nine years, which is a. Hey, nice, nice season. What do you got anything else? Nope, we're done. We're going to go home now. It's like, okay, I don't think the Steelers will give him 50 or 60. Somebody dumb will. Cardinals, I'm looking at you. Do not, repeat, do not get excited about Sam Darnold. And here's another thing. And the Californians that are in town are going to hate this because this is. You can't trust a redheaded quarterback. Too erratic in life. Like redheads are too erratic in life to trust them on a football field. When you've got your heart and soul and all your fandom mixed in and you look at the quarterback and he's a full out like strong ginger. Emotionally, he's not going to be able to handle the tough times. Red Rifle, come on now. Thank you. Exactly. I don't trust Marvin Lewis syndrome. Yeah, one and done. In the playoffs, there's a lot of that. The Marvin Lewis was a product of having great players and having no idea what he was doing. It was a little different than. But yeah, you put all your, you put all your eggs in a red headed quarterback basket, you're going to get exactly what you deserve. You have a lot of fun. You have a lot of fun, but when it starts getting real, the emotions take over. You realize quickly you got yourself a crazy person on your hands. The Red Rifle, just like the shooting range. Yeah, I get a bullseye every once in a while. Dalton was another one. You put all your hopes and dreams in the Red Rifle and wandered into the playoffs. And he's like, why is there so much? What do you guys want from me? Like, oh God, the redhead's gone nuts. Yeah, they're too emotional. He can't do it. The best news that came out of yesterday is somehow or another, the Cowboys became a headline. They're not in the playoffs. We're in the heart of the playoffs. They were an afterthought all year, but somehow or another managed to be the talking point. Deion Sanders is probably going to coach the Dallas Cowboys next year. That is that getting closer. They fired Mike McCarthy. He's gone. So Mike McCarthy being fired. And then, you know, I heard before that, a couple weeks before that, Deion said, the only way I'll coach NFL so I can coach my. If you get a son, two sons. Well, that's a tall order. That's gonna happen. A tall order. But if anybody can make that happen, it might be Jerry and his cash to get something together, to pull a. A trade of some sort, or to have Dion just say, I'm not playing for anybody but Dallas, to his son, and then nobody will draft him, and then he'll fall right to the Cowboys because you'll have that. Eli Dale's reaction to that. Oh, he's not gonna be happy with that. His beloved Cowboys being coached by the guy he claims ruined them. That will be a. You want to talk about wwe there it is insane. This guy says, gun to your head, John. Who moves in with us? Boston, people from Boston? People from Philly or people from la? Which one do you open the doors to? Build the wall. Oh, build the wall. Boston, Philadelphia, or Los Angeles? Who would we rather have the influx from. Man. Is that a tough question? Well, you think about it. Right now, mostly, California would be number one. You would let them in first. No, no, I'm saying that's in here now. Is that you run. I don't care about that part. I'm saying if you had a massive, like, exodus of one of those three cities and their end goal was here, which one would you say? All right, we'll take blank, and I'd almost take Boston. But that accent, I can't handle. Accent. That's the only problem. Philly might be in the lead there, and their accent is just as annoying. Oh, my God, That's a. That's a dirty group there. Boston, because there's less of them, maybe, because it's still a pretty big city. You're smaller than Philly, though, I think. Yeah, it is, but it's close. It's close. And there's a lot of outlying areas of Boston that make it a much larger metropolitan. Man, that's a tough one. I'm actually starting to say I'm leaning a little bit towards LA there. That is how bad Philadelphia and Boston are that. I'll take L. A and the people that come from there with their terrible ideas that have destroyed a beautiful place. Man, I. I can't. I can't make that. Normally, I'll have an opinion on anything. You have stumped me, Ryan Weber. I can't do it. Where in la? I mean, are they. Are they at least on the outskirts? What are you talking about? Like, talking about the. Are we going up to entertainment Mecca area. I mean, just. Well, no, you get. It's bad. I mean, I'll take. I'll take the gangster south side LA before. I'll take any of the city. LA. LA. Like, oh, my God, if we're going proper. LA's 3.8 million. Yeah. Philly's 1.5. Boston is 654,000. I'll take Boston. Yeah. There'll be less of them. Be less of them. Just that accent, though. Son of a. The accent and too many of them. Bunch of drunk Irishmen around here. Oh, St. Patrick's Day. Oh, I'm taking LA. I'm sorry. I can take my car to the bar. I'll take. I'll go. I'll go. Los Angeles. I can't tolerate what would happen to her. 3 million of them moving at. 3.8 million of them moving in. Our boss. Okay? I don't want any of their ideas. They've. They've destroyed. Well, that's the problem. But Boston's not much better. They're just lucky not to have all the problems. Boston is a town that in the early 1900s was attacked by syrup and lost. Look it up. The great molasses flood killed people. It couldn't outrun syrup. That's how dumb Boston is. Set up. Trump build a wall all the way around. You know what he start doing is building around the places. Like, build it around Los Angeles. Like, you can't leave. Like, don't start getting ideas that you can go anywhere else. You did it. There you go. Yeah. You made this bed. You lay in it. Don't go taking your dirty blankets and pillows over to another place, man. I can't. I want to try to find a reasonable way to say la. And it just. It. I want to puke that I say it. Maybe it is Boston, but what they would do to our bars. Oof. I think I'd. I would never go to Seamus McCaffrey. No. Good Lord. Seamus is out. Seamus is out. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com this is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation. Today. It's John Holmberg from the morning sickness for lifechangeloan.com Let me tell you about Brian and Emily. Brian listens to KUPD loyally. Megan listens to the news. But both of them have heard about life change alone for a long time. Both were curious. They never bothered really to look too deep since they felt good about their 20 year loan with a good rate. But they want to remodel their house and add a pool and that's going to cost about $250,000. After visiting Life Changer Loan, they realized they can still pay off the entire thing in about six. It is not magic, it's math. Lifechangerloan.com It's Dick Toledo with new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 5, 3, 3, 4, 2. Oh, my God. Tommy. Oh, no. I couldn't. I couldn't do it. All those. All those Tom Brady jerseys coming. No, no, no, no. I can't take Boston. Churches expanding. Oh, my God. And all the rapes of the children. I can't take Boston. You're right. Boston was the Mecca for raping kids with that accent. Well, that or Scientology coming here even harder. Oh, for Christ's sake. What's Philly doing again? I'm starting to lean towards Phil cheese. Doesn't sound so bad. Do we have any bells that are that they can destroy? Because that's. They broke the bell. They gave Tom Hanks aids. It's all right. The cream cheese is good. I think I'm taking Philadelphia. And that is a group of people. They are. You've seen the Phillies and what happens to every guy who signs there. They stop washing their hair and they grow beards. Like they're homeless. They're. It's. It's a goal for everyone in Philadelphia to try and look like Jason Kelsey. That's. That's the thing that they like. Think about your basketball side of it. I want to be Laker merged in with Laker fans or Celtics or Sixers. Sixers are. But I'm talking about Philly fans are the worst of the three. Philly fans are the. Oh, I think they are horrible football for sure. All of it. Yeah. They're terrible people throwing snowballs at Santa. 76ers fans are bad. I was in that game in Kansas City and they were playing the Phillies and the Philly fans that were behind me. If I'd have heard the word real muto screamed one more time. But on the flip side of it. But if you're on the same side of your laughing at that, you can't. You can't laugh when they surround you. But the flip side is LA. You got LeBron playing for the Suns. I want to move. Gonna be the first saying I'm moving to Mexico. Gonna go get a water. Who's with me? Come on, Tommy, Re. Mute that. Hit one for me. I'm gonna go get another water. I'm parched. Oh, they're. They're gross. I'm gonna take Philly out of the three, and I am not happy about it. Ryan Weber, you son of a. Question. At least we got the rock. I don't think they Rocky statue. The Rocky statue shows up. Yeah, you get a little of that. All right, well, maybe you're tournament. Yeah. If they all were like Rocky. But they're not. Bring the Stallion over here. I'm in. They gave you get myself a cheesesteak. Talk about Rocky. He's the best rock. Get up in Cherry Hill. Get herself some cheesesteak. Yawn. You're not gonna come with me, right? Oh, God. I don't want any of that cheesesteak and yingling. This guy says. So Sam Darnold is the Gary's wife of the NFL? Yeah, kind of. Gary's wife was at least just a whore. Sam. And probably not that pretty. I would guess she's not that pretty. Sam Darnold was a stunning like if. If you were comparing their trajectory supermodel in college. Like, good lord, that is a pretty lady. And then went and got the warts with the jets thought she was going to move to New York and have a career like she, her story is the same as so many beautiful girls who moved from Los Angeles and go to New York to be models and then come back all beat up like, they look, they got, you know, what happened to you? Shoot him. Shoot her up. Spit her out, Gave her warts. And she can still look pretty, but deep down we all know. Remember when she was stunning before the warts? Do we want to sign her? I don't want warts. So good luck with your Sam Darnold in Minnesota. That was a good showing last night, man. I, I was shocked. I I Adam Ray's in town and he texted me yesterday, hey, bro, we got tickets to the game if you want to go. And I said, what game? He actually text me, he said, you want to go to a game, two tickets and they're yours. And I thought he was saying, hey, if the Suns are playing and you got tickets, I'll go with you. I'm like, well, we can go sit in the arena. They're not here for a few days. And he goes, no, no, the Rams and Vikings, like, I totally forgot that that thing was here. And, and I said, I'm sorry, I'm on a football. I'm done for a little while. I'm still stings. I don't want to watch other people's teams and find joy there. And I even thought, I'm not, It's not like I'd have to fight traffic. Nobody will be there. Turn the TV on. Place was full. Oh, yeah, it was pretty nice. They did a good job. And you know what? Normally the Cardinals organization, they muck stuff up like this. They did a really good job. The stadium looked good. It had the feelings for the field pretty up to them. Although, yeah, that's true. I think the Rams people came in and said, we got this move, step aside, we'll doll it up. Oh, my beer. But they, you know, all it takes is that big halo of advertising to turn blue and yellow and the whole stadium lights differently. It looked neat on tv. I forgot it was at State Farm. Like watching. You're watching it sometimes. It had the Rams banners on the sidelines. They brought everything. I didn't know they were gonna go to those, but hey, it looked right. And the Rams did their number. So there you go. Good job. Now all you folks, get in your buses and head home. Go get in your flame retardant suits, go back to your house. I'm so very sorry for what you've been through. It's terrible. Now here's some asbestos hand gloves. Now go home and touch your stuff. We were thinking about building here. Nope. No, no, nope, nope, nope. Because you're gonna find out that our permits only take a few weeks, and you're gonna lose your minds and try to ruin that. Did they even check if the gas lines are affecting the tropdimythiums? I don't even know what that is. Oh, it's a microscopic animal that eats dirt. So the ants get like, oh, Jesus Christ. You're gonna make our permits take years. What's a trabdimifium? Something that needs protecting. Go home. Hi, I'm from Los Angeles. I have some ideas. Get the out. Protect the smelt. Yeah, the smelt. The smelt thing is that. That's what everybody's running on now. There. That's. It is tiny right now. That's just the news Fox wants you to know. That's tiny compared to all the crap that they do with every building inspection that they've got over there. Try to add on something. Try it. I watched Bill Maher talk about that all the time. He was trying to be compliant, trying to be eco friendly, putting solar panels on his house. Five years later, the little second house they made him build to house the power plant that his solar thing is gonna store is still under permits, still isn't done. And he's like, I was trying. This cost me a fortune, and I still can't get it. That's still not done. Permits, inspections, you know, eco guy. More money goes out the door for this. You've got to move it. It's too close to a tree. It can't do this. It's like, I thought this was the environmentally friendly version. It is. But if it's not done right, it actually harms the trees. And the triphalopodites. I saw one yesterday in the backyard of a solar panel, but it wasn't on the roof. It was a giant flower in the yard. It was. It looked like a satellite dish three times the size. So it took up three quarters of the backyard. It. And it spreads out. Probably just running something like a generator. Your old generator maybe, because they have to be pretty. It was big to be a lot. Yeah. But I mean, think about how much they stuff on top of a house to make the house go. I've seen them for, like, tiny houses. Yeah, no, I'm saying this is the biggest one I've seen. It was a huge dish, and I guess you can spread it out even you know, in your neighborhood. And it rotates, right? No. Oh. Because I'll tell you right now, if somebody from LA moves in and sees that, HOA is going to knock that down. That's what happened. HOA is a very LA idea. Now imagine they show up here and strengthen the hoa. Good Christ. I'll take. I'll take. Philadelphians. Never thought I'd hear you say that. I never thought that that would be a thought in my head. But given this tragic situation, if they all decided, you know, we're out of water, we could use some water, like. Well, we don't have much. We're still. Troy, come on down there. Yan's gonna get over there and get some water over there. No, no. They're coming and they're. They're indecipherable. Strange Australian like accents. Wit what? I don't know what you're talking. Yeah, you gotta have Whit cheese. Whit what? What did you say? Sandwich. You ordered my most steak. Wit what? Wit or without whiz? What are you saying? Wit Whiz. Are you from another planet? Oh, God, you people sound so stupid, man. We'll all be. You'll know who. You'll. You'll know who's from Phoenix. As we'll all sound like. Like Sebastian, man. Where did they come from? All these weirdos with these accents. I don't like it. They're all so stupid. Anyway, goodbye, Ally. Sorry for your treasure. Time to go. Time to go. Heading west. Don't let the door hit. Round them up. We're heading west. Take off la. Okay. You'll notice a lot of limos on the road. Oh, good, good. Show it up. Show off all the way through. Blythe, you know, stop in Palm Springs. It's everything you've wanted. Anything to be. It's environmentally friendly. It's gay as anything I've ever seen in my life. It seems like the LA you dream of. Trans crazy. Like you bring all those trans ideas over here. Next thing you know, I can't laugh at a guy in a dress walking down Central. Cause I'll get arrested and thrown in jail, lose my job. I mean, Philly sounded better. Philly seems Philly be like, look over there. It's a feller in a dress. Wink. Twink. Hey, homo. Oh, no. Shut up. Throwing batteries at him and stuff. There's no Christmas. What's he doing? You hate Santa in the middle of June in front of these twinks, I do. All right. Thanks, Philly. It's good to see you at least you're not Los Angeles617. And LA is always shocked when you tell them, we don't want you here. Look, but we're. We're Los Angelenos. We're. We're the ones with all the good ideas, like, no, you're not. Now the rest of the world sees you as a bunch of idiots. You haven't done anything right for a long time. You're just lucky to have beautiful sunsets in that ocean. Otherwise, you've ruined it. Let's get a wake up song while they drive away? Something that sends them on their way? And they're packed up in their beautiful coach buses and head off home? 5859. 800, that's the number? You tell us what you want to hear? We'll scream it together? It's 98 KUPD wagon. It's out of control now.