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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Larry McFeely
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed. Right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.
Adam Ray
And.
Larry McFeely
And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute dot com. Sickness radiate. This is a treat. Now we got two things happening at once. Adam Ray is here, for God's sake.
Adam Ray
Yeah, baby.
Larry McFeely
The great Adam Ray has joined us for no other reason than you're just in town.
Adam Ray
You're hanging out in town. Hanging out, escaping the fires, trying to breathe some healthy air.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. Well, we came to the right place.
Adam Ray
Yeah, you got. Your air is cleaner. It's cleaner. Cleaner. Right.
Larry McFeely
Well, and also, though. But we also have to not encourage people from Los Angeles to shoot over.
Adam Ray
You guys don't like that?
Larry McFeely
Well, we just don't necessarily need you guys here.
Adam Ray
We're full. Well, but I'm a Seattle native. I mean, I had this conversation the other day. How long do you have to live somewhere before you're like, you know, everyone's posting like, I've been in LA for three years, but it's home, you know, and Arizona and then crying as they move out?
Larry McFeely
Four weeks in Arizona.
Adam Ray
Four weeks. And then you're. Okay, great. So, yeah. So 20 years away from Seattle. Yeah.
Larry McFeely
Oh, then you're. You're an LA guy.
Adam Ray
Really? Yeah.
Larry McFeely
But I Still, I'm gonna go with it. While Ben's here. How long until you're actually homosexual?
Adam Ray
Ben?
Larry McFeely
No, no. How many. How many years away from heterosexual sex before you're actually homosexual?
Adam Ray
So how many? So, yeah, surely for you to ask me if I'm gay or not, this.
Larry McFeely
Is how I find out.
Adam Ray
Yeah. Yeah.
Larry McFeely
So you've been doing to think.
Adam Ray
I guess you are right.
Larry McFeely
You make the switcheroo.
Adam Ray
Great T shirt.
Larry McFeely
How long until it's official? Because otherwise it's just dabbling until it's official.
Adam Ray
Oh, I think.
Larry McFeely
When are you a resident of that? Because the same applies to the city.
Adam Ray
So I've kissed a guy in a play, but that was.
Larry McFeely
That doesn't count. You got paid to do it, I.
Adam Ray
Got paid to do it.
Larry McFeely
Everybody's done that.
Adam Ray
Let's see. I think. Yeah, if you go. I was about to say all the way. Which I think is I'm the worst dad of all time.
Larry McFeely
Ben is our resident expert in this department. It's not the first time you do it.
Ben
No.
Larry McFeely
Because Greg Fitzsimmons, he wasn't sure he was gay and he told us. He said, I went in the woods with a guy just to see if it was. And I am not.
Adam Ray
Hilarious. I mean, yeah, well, Greg looks like the kid who was molested and the guy who molested the kid.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. He passes for both of who are looking for.
Adam Ray
So that's a bad guy to ask.
Larry McFeely
He's the Amber alert and the bad guy.
Adam Ray
Oh, my God, Ben is here.
Larry McFeely
And Ben, the Rosebud thing we've been talking about, you're the only person we can turn to that will said Rosebud.
Adam Ray
I thought. Oh, the comedian Rosebud Baker. No, no, that thought. Adam. We have something a little bit different.
Larry McFeely
We were going to show you videos of Rosebud and you're like, she's funny.
Adam Ray
She's funny.
Larry McFeely
How often is it talked about? Because you're the ones in most risk.
Ben
Never.
Larry McFeely
Your people? It's never spoken of.
Ben
Not in my circle, no.
Larry McFeely
What is now, when you say your circle, are you talking about friends or whatever? Is that a euphemism for what?
Adam Ray
He's specific about the shapes.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, he's good with shapes and numbers.
Ben
You can watch it, but doing it is something different.
Larry McFeely
So you've never had a guy go, ah, not today. I rosebuded. I'm still recovering.
Ben
No.
Larry McFeely
Okay. But it does happen a lot. It's a concern.
Ben
It's a huge concern.
Larry McFeely
And what do you do to prevent that?
Ben
Creams don't Shove fists or.
Larry McFeely
Okay, so size apples or. Yeah, apples, broccoli, stuff like that. So you got me. You keep it within range.
Ben
Yes.
Larry McFeely
Not a size queen.
Ben
Not. No, no, no. You can, you can even do a couple at the same time and.
Larry McFeely
Pardon me.
Ben
Fine. But it's the big. It's the, the. It's the girth. More than.
Larry McFeely
I can't even do the math on what you just said.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
A couple at the same time. They're missing. Siamese twin. Oh, I understand. I didn't know that existed in your. I'm scared. Yeah.
Adam Ray
Now is there like a list of foods once you enter this world that they go Instagram. Yeah. So it's. It's just the same way that, that my wife will find a recipe on TikTok like people are finding. Oh, here's. Oh babe, here's a fun food. We could put up our. Yeah, absolutely.
John Holmberg
But don't do that one.
Ben
No, that one's too big.
Larry McFeely
So what is the thing that you've drawn a line at?
Ben
Rosebuds.
Larry McFeely
So somebody wanted to do.
Ben
Yeah, no, no fist.
Larry McFeely
Somebody wanted to do it and that's a. That's something they can achieve.
Adam Ray
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a goal for you. But it's.
Larry McFeely
It's bad for you.
Ben
I mean it takes a couple days to recover. Yeah.
Adam Ray
Oh, it's a prep or what?
Ben
I mean you looked at those videos. That doesn't just go right back in.
Larry McFeely
I agree that street urchins that we saw hanging out of there.
Ben
Yeah, yeah.
Larry McFeely
But hold on.
Ben
Seen something like that. That's not a rosebud. That's like a.
Adam Ray
That's. That's a health. You're going to urgency.
Larry McFeely
Well, the number one video from last year.
Adam Ray
You're making at least a morning trip to urgent care. That's more than cream.
Larry McFeely
You died in the ER for time sake. I'm not sitting in there forever.
Adam Ray
Can you imagine going into urgent care with that Wednesday afternoon.
Larry McFeely
You make me want to like, do.
Adam Ray
You think you have co? The new co? Like it's a little bit bigger than that.
Larry McFeely
Let's test for that though, just in case. Cuz I got something bad after. How do they haul you in? It's not like. Yeah, sit down in the wheelchair, we'll wheel you in. Not going to happen. I'm going to beat around the bush with a doctor for a while. I got a sore throat. I think it might be a sinus infection. I'm not breathing real good. And also.
Adam Ray
Take a look at that.
Larry McFeely
It's just related to My rest.
Adam Ray
Yeah, you have to build up to that.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, yeah. You can't just shoot it out there and go, this is a problem.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
So it's not something. Because I'm. I'm assuming in a city of 5 million people, men, women, there's a lot of ladies who like it. That. And especially as you age, as a user of that product, I don't know about liking it. Oh, people like it.
Adam Ray
There's something for everybody.
Larry McFeely
They wouldn't be filming it if they didn't. And we wouldn't be smiling and kissing afterwards. Yeah, look, they liked it. My friend loved it. He ate the biggest. Imagine being that many.
Adam Ray
Isn't it so funny that you see things like that and that is a passion hobby wherever. You categorize that for those fellas. Yeah, but it's like, man, I'm so glad I like the things I like. Yeah, I'm so glad I woke up one day and wasn't like, I wonder if kissing my dad with a tongue would be cool or like. Or I wonder if making my dog eat my butt would be fun, like, you know what I'm saying? Like the beast. I'm glad that I never developed a beastiality. Behavioral.
Larry McFeely
Now, how far have you gone with that? Because in my head, I've thought it and then thought. But that would be wrong.
Adam Ray
Well, if anything, I put the peanut butter on the dog's balls and I'd lick it off.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Adam Ray
That's because I was from the Northwest. But, like, I feel like that there's. Which is the home of. I don't know if you remember the Northwest. Seattle, known for grunge coffee. Suicide rate. Right, Right.
Larry McFeely
You're great at all of it.
Adam Ray
But. But we have two cases of, you know, Mary Kay Letourneau banging a student. And then we have an enumclaw washing guy died because he got the horse. See, isn't that wild that you know that you don't know where it's from, but you know, you heard it.
Larry McFeely
I'm a newsman, Adam.
Adam Ray
I'm a newsman. I wake up, I read the. I do a crossword. I find out who's been banged by a horse and ruin their family. And then I go to work.
Larry McFeely
Did you see the guy the other day who got caught by his neighbor because he was in. They saw him go into a barn. They're like, we don't like when he goes to the stable. And then they walk.
Adam Ray
Neighbors are getting nosy and attentive.
Larry McFeely
You have to be staggered in there. And then when they went in there, he had his pants down, and he was trying to put his penis in a horse's nostril.
Adam Ray
No, he wasn't.
Larry McFeely
Yes. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com College hoops.
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Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco. And Wayne, now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps.
Wayne
The air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.
Adam Ray
Nice.
Larry McFeely
Is that a big deal to get done? Not at all. It takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say we're Amco. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.
Ben
Homeberg's morning sickness.
Adam Ray
Well, it is easy.
Larry McFeely
Neighbors are like, it is. It's the. Well, it's the softest.
Adam Ray
He's also like, dude, how come they never taught us in school? I mean, bro, I love that you're at saying this. My friend's a teacher, and they literally told me, I was like, any funny praguntas these young pervs of America are are inquiring about? And my friend goes, literally a kid last week goes, I know there's oral and there's anal, but is there nasal? I was like, I love that he's speaking for the group, because if I was in there, I'd be like, dude, thank you for asking, Eli, because I'm trying to mix things up in the bedroom. Is it legal to do the horse's.
Larry McFeely
Nose or the nasal at all? There is. That's the guy that had his penis.
Adam Ray
In the horse's nose trying to put penis and horses.
Larry McFeely
And you know why? Hadn't had sex in two months, dude. I mean, we've all Been through a.
Adam Ray
Flashlight that looks like a horse, dude.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, just take care.
Adam Ray
I mean, how, by the way, see, again, things that you go. I'm glad. I'm not into that. There's a show on a. E called Strange addiction. You ever see it? And literally, you'd start off and they'd be like, this is Daryl from Columbus, Ohio. And. And Daryl has a weird way of starting the day and. Because he's like, I can't wake up in the morning unless I suck on some toes and eat a bar of soap. And I'm like, well, I'm an eggs Benedict guy, Daryl. So we're gonna have a tough time connecting. But. But it also was like a drywall girl.
Larry McFeely
Jerry. Her.
Adam Ray
No.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. She can't stop chunking down drywall and.
Adam Ray
Just saying, thank God. Comedy. A little bit of, you know, cocktail.
Larry McFeely
I mean, yeah, some drinking, Maybe a gummy now.
Adam Ray
And imagine being that guy and hanging out with your friends and you're just literally, you know, trying to, you know, spice things up, add to the conversation. It's like, so, Ben, what have you been into? You know, just. I don't know. I found some cool YouTube rabbit holes. I'm actually volunteering a lot more. Cool. Oh, that's all. That's awesome, dude. What about you, Mike? You know what, man? I'm a born again Christian, and my. My stepdad's new girlfriend got me into it. I'm like, it's time to make some changes. Ethan, what about you? So there's a zoo nearby, and these animals are not meant just to be petted. They are meant to be penetrated.
Larry McFeely
Let me just start this. Any of you guys ever notice how big a horse's nose is?
Adam Ray
Yeah, they wouldn't want you to bang their nose if they didn't have it.
Larry McFeely
If it wasn't just breathing, flexing at you the whole time.
Adam Ray
They're taunting you. Yeah, Like, I bet you can't fit it in here. That's not why they're breathing.
Larry McFeely
I like the idea. This is how sick my brain actually is. Is that. Looking at that story, I was like, oh, that's disgusting. I wouldn't fit in a horse's nose. And I took some sort of pride in that.
Adam Ray
Oh, John, what a great take. This is why you got such a comic brain. That's your take on this?
Larry McFeely
I walked.
Adam Ray
You see the video and you go. Not discussing.
Larry McFeely
You go, yeah, my dick's bigger than yes. Yeah, that would hurt. That horse wouldn't have made it.
Adam Ray
Yeah, the horse wouldn't have made it. He's lucky I don't be joking. Stable.
Larry McFeely
All right, Ben, Put a number on it. In the. In the. In the city. At any given time in a week, out of 5 million, how many people have it happen? Because you got it is. There's a lot of partying going on. I've been to Charlie's and that place. There's at least on a average Saturday at Charlie's, how many people are suffering from the.
Ben
At least a dozen.
Larry McFeely
At least out of 100.
Ben
And you can see how they're walking. That's how you.
Larry McFeely
So you can tell. Yeah. Yeah, no kidding. Come on, Ben, be serious with this. If we're ever gonna learn about each other's cultures, who watch other cultures. All right, well, thank you, Ben. We appreciate everything. That's always nice. We can't. We can't speak on this. This is like me trying to tell Tom Brady how to tell play football. Doesn't work that way. Yeah. You just have to. You just have to say, man, they want the freaks walk amongst us. And I don't have that in me. Like, I'm. I'm like. Nothing is even interesting to me in that regard. Like, I don't even. I had a friend of mine tell me once that he and his girlfriend started to dabble with food, right? And then. So he was like, she's like, go. Hilarious. Go get tuna. You got a can of tuna, and they mixed it into the area. And then, you know, started doing stuff, right? And then, you know, and then you start. You go through the whole deal. A couple weeks later, she can't walk.
Adam Ray
Oh, God.
Larry McFeely
Can't figure out what's going on.
Adam Ray
She's got a tuna allergy.
Larry McFeely
She's got one. There's all. There's that. It was stuffed in there so far that Charlie couldn't clean it out.
Adam Ray
So it put it in and try to eat it out of there.
Larry McFeely
So what happened?
Adam Ray
Just to putting it on, like, the belly and, like, licking it off.
Larry McFeely
Like a cracker?
Adam Ray
Like a cracker, Right.
Larry McFeely
But no, they went at it. It got in there. She got an infection, and like, a month later had, like, surgery.
Adam Ray
Now, he was. In a weird way, he was probably turned on by that. It's the same way. Another one of those strange addiction things. There was an episode where the guy. I don't know if you say he just wanted to fatten up the girl, right? He got off on just having her eat. So they showed pictures of her, like, being this petite, young girl, and now she's, like, pushing three bills and Just. The guy's just like.
Larry McFeely
He's into it.
Adam Ray
She's like, I love Oreos. And he's like, I love watching her eat them. And five at a time. And she's like, I have to. It's the only way he can get hard. I mean, it was the best episode of television.
Larry McFeely
It sounded, from your impression, like Adam Sandler's worst character. I have to. It is the only way.
Adam Ray
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
I wish I could have a normal.
Adam Ray
Life again, but I cannot.
Larry McFeely
Unfortunately, I have to eat for him.
Adam Ray
Did you see him throw a Timothy Chalamet back at Nikki Glazer on the globes?
Larry McFeely
No, I missed that part. Somebody told me about it.
Adam Ray
I just watched. I mean, like, any. Like a. Like an SNL or an award show. I watched the monologue because, you know, if there's a comic on, it's, you know, you want to see how they do and.
Larry McFeely
Right.
Adam Ray
And support. And she crushed. But she had a part where she said to Timothy Chalamet, like, you have such. I love your. Something about the eyelashes on your upper lip. Really funny. I'm butchering it. But then she goes, you look like a character that I think it was Adam Sandler would play. And then she was like, adam Sandler, give me a Timothy Chalamet.
Larry McFeely
Oh, that's a good name.
Adam Ray
It sounds like it's something you would say. And then they cut to him and he goes, he's got a last name. He goes, timothy Chalamet. And he gives it to her. And it was like. It was just great that he played along. Most people they cut to either are disapproving of the joke or don't know how to play along. Maybe.
Larry McFeely
He seems like a very likable person.
Adam Ray
He doesn't get that far without, like. No, you know, you don't get Shaq in your movies, if not cool. Right.
Larry McFeely
You have to be a little bit.
Adam Ray
I think so.
Larry McFeely
Have people like that much to keep.
Adam Ray
Showing, you know, I got a not so positive celeb story for you.
Larry McFeely
Fantastic. You want to do it after the break? It just sounds like one of those, you know what?
Adam Ray
Apple butthole video. And then we'll bring it up.
Larry McFeely
Let's do it after the break. Adam's going to break down his horrible celebrity stories. It's 72 degrees of the big city. Adam Ray is here. He's not even really supposed to be till next week.
Adam Ray
This is awesome. I was just telling Maddie Coco. I'm like, man, I am. It's so cool. I've always want to be here for an extended period of time because I love it here. But it is cool to like be here and then have the day and night. I got some crap to do here and there. But then, and then tomorrow and then shows aren't even until next week.
Larry McFeely
You're staying all week?
Adam Ray
Why? So I go. We have a Dr. Phil live in San Francisco on Friday and then I'll. And then I'll come back Saturday, but then be here for a full week before. So get. I mean, I'm going to see more.
Larry McFeely
We might go with a lot of it Friday. We might go with you on Friday.
Adam Ray
No, that's all right, Brady. But John, go ahead and cut to a commercial. Yeah. Thanks for playing, though.
Larry McFeely
I didn't tell him about the tickets yet. We'll have Adam right with us all day. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock nav station. It's out of control now.
Wayne
Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe marketplace off the 202. Emmett Clintock. Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, Dewalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also online@fishertools.com cup KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (January 15, 2025)
Host and Guests:
John Holmberg kicks off the episode by spotlighting Arizona's vibrant comedy scene. He encourages listeners to attend performances at various local improv venues:
Notable Quote:
"Tune in or log onto 98KUPD weekdays 5:30a-10a." – John Holmberg ([00:15])
Adam Ray joins the show amidst a light-hearted banter about his presence in Arizona. The hosts joke about the influx of people from Los Angeles and how quickly newcomers start considering Arizona as home.
Notable Quotes:
"Adam Ray has joined us for no other reason than you're just in town." – Larry McFeely ([01:20])
"You got to go, your air is cleaner. It's cleaner. Cleaner. Right." – Adam Ray ([01:26])
Larry initiates a provocative conversation about sexual orientation, humorously questioning Adam about his sexuality and exploring the fluidity of sexual identity. The discussion touches on societal perceptions and stereotypes.
Notable Quotes:
"How many years away from heterosexual sex before you're actually homosexual?" – Larry McFeely ([02:20])
"I've kissed a guy in a play, but that was... I got paid to do it." – Adam Ray ([02:36])
Ben enters the conversation to discuss the term "Rosebud," which appears to be a euphemism related to sexual preferences or practices. The hosts delve into humorous and offbeat discussions about physical compatibility and societal norms.
Notable Quotes:
"We were going to show you videos of Rosebud and you're like, she's funny." – Larry McFeely ([03:21])
"Not a size queen." – Ben ([04:13])
The conversation takes a turn into more explicit and controversial territory, discussing unconventional sexual practices involving animals. The hosts use shock humor to entertain, navigating sensitive topics with a comedic lens.
Notable Quotes:
"They were trying to put his penis in a horse's nostril." – Larry McFeely ([07:50])
"I'm so glad I never developed a bestiality behavior." – Adam Ray ([06:54])
Adam Ray and Larry discuss modern obsessions facilitated by social media, referencing the show "Strange Addiction." They highlight bizarre behaviors and addictions portrayed on TV, blending humor with social commentary.
Notable Quotes:
"I love that he's speaking for the group, because if I was in there, I'd be like, dude, thank you for asking, Eli." – Adam Ray ([09:15])
"It's the only way he can get hard." – Adam Ray ([13:14])
The hosts share humorous takes on celebrity behaviors and incidents, including a mention of Timothy Chalamet's appearance at the Globes. They dissect the interactions between celebrities and how public figures handle unexpected moments on live TV.
Notable Quotes:
"He goes, 'Timothy Chalamet,' and he gives it to her." – Adam Ray ([14:07])
"He had to play along. Most people cut to either are disapproving or don't know how to play along." – Adam Ray ([14:26])
The episode continues with more off-color humor, discussing bizarre sexual addictions and personal anecdotes. The hosts maintain a comedic tone while addressing topics that push societal boundaries.
Notable Quotes:
"I can't figure out what's going on." – Adam Ray ([12:53])
"It's just related to my rest." – Larry McFeely ([05:59])
Throughout the episode, John Holmberg, Larry McFeely, and guest Adam Ray engage in candid and provocative discussions that blend humor with edgy topics. The inclusion of guest Ben adds depth to the conversations, especially on sensitive subjects related to sexuality and societal norms. The episode exemplifies Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show's commitment to entertaining, questioning, and sometimes disturbing its listeners through bold and unapologetic dialogue.
Final Note: For more engaging conversations and comedic insights, tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98KUPD weekdays from 5:30a-10a or visit www.98kupd.com.