← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
01-15-24 - Adam Ray - Stand Up Live - Part Three - In Studio
00:14:01
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- [00:00]
John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
- [00:32]
Adam Ray
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com Morning Sickness. And Adam Ray is with us. He's over at Stand Up Live next week. He's just hanging out because his. His city's on fire, so.
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Joe DeRosa
Stays on fire.
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Adam Ray
Time to go. Our boss's house was in the Palisades. He lost his house. Yeah, it's. It's weird when it's that, you know, I'm sure, you know, some people I.
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Joe DeRosa
Know probably close to 30 close people. I'm not even joking. And then on top of that, I know, I mean, there are people that I worked with at Universal Studios and then just some comics and then. But then no people that. The amount of people that you know that know people. Yes, it's. It's. And if it's arson, I've seen more and more. I've gotten three texts since we've leaning on that.
- [01:49]
Adam Ray
Right. And if that's arson, man, that is like the most. That's terrifying, reprehensible crime. Yeah, that's. It's up there with like, you can't even place it with another thing that the, the attempt to do what they did. If that's intentional I mean it's horrifying. I wasn't there.
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Joe DeRosa
How.
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Adam Ray
What was it like?
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Joe DeRosa
Being terrifying. Yeah, it was. Well it was. And where were you? So we just moved to a different location. But nobody's going to try to find out.
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Adam Ray
Where do you live? Don't worry. But don't be so look. Well what are you hiding? Nukes under the house? Let's just. Pasadena. What are we looking at?
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Joe DeRosa
We, we got some scares and, and then you know, Hollywood, you'd see the, that Runyon Canyon 1 spiral place and that if, that if those winds were what they were on Monday, which like 100 miles an hour on what they were on Tuesday because they were really calm. So that's why they were able to put it out. I mean you saw some of those Top gun montages where they dropped the water and in one hit. Put it out. Yeah, that it would, Hollywood would, it would have. Because you know, literally you get down the hill in one canyon and then it's immediately apartments, homes, businesses. It would have just burnt through, dude. I mean it. Comic store would be, it would all be gone, dude.
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Adam Ray
Apartments, houses. Sunset Strip. Yeah, I mean it's literally just right down the hill.
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Joe DeRosa
Strippers, dwarves, potato salad, I mean drug addicts, everything was the mix.
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Adam Ray
They would have probably gotten rid of some of the homeless problem.
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Joe DeRosa
Yeah, but we had to get out of there cuz the air horrible. And look, if you have the wherewithal and the, the means to get out. I mean we just, it's just us and the pups and, and you know, her fams here and it was just like I don't want to. I had a few friends that are just really privy to what's going on and they were like if you don't need to be there, don't, don't. Because it's not even about what you're going to breathe in and what's going to happen the next two years, next 10 to 15. But you know all these homes, the. They're built so old. So the asbestos, the plastics, the, the, the lead paint, it's just so bad. And look L. A we're living there, it's already bad. I'm probably already going to, you know, not going to see my 50s. But like so it's, that's why I'm just trying to get it all now.
- [03:48]
Adam Ray
You know, but it's not good. Fear is, and we talked about this yesterday is that you guys all showed up here. Now I'm happy you're here, but what you're representing right now Scares the hell out of me is that LA and all their terrible ideas are going to shoot over our direction. And so I'm trying to get the state.
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Joe DeRosa
What are you talking about? Newsom's a great guy. You see Karen Bass?
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Adam Ray
They've been all over it.
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Joe DeRosa
Response video. She goes, oh, all you got to do is go to URL. Did you see that video? She couldn't have been. What are you.
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Adam Ray
She couldn't have done a worse job with. But. But that's a lot of pressure.
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Joe DeRosa
I looked at that video, and Brad Garrett just commented, resign. And I liked it. And I was like, boy, circle gets a square. Look how this came around. You SC at my wife, and I'm.
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Adam Ray
Liking your comments, but, yeah, I, I. But I. I'm trying to convince Arizona to maybe somehow or another just a tiny incorporation of the Confederate flag on our flag just to keep people from staying in line. If we just suddenly just threw the stars and bars in the middle of our flag, just like, just a little bit, they'd be like, well, we're not moving there.
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Joe DeRosa
Well, you know, I was. I was in America. I was in America or Los Angeles. Happy early Kwanzaa, by the way. Hey, Joe. Hey, good to see you, Joe. Hey, it's me. This. Let's do Joe on Joe before he retires. Hey, what are you talking about? Hey, we got two more weeks.
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Adam Ray
One more week. One more week.
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Joe DeRosa
And what are we gonna do?
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Adam Ray
We're gonna get out of here. Yeah.
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Joe DeRosa
We're gonna book our dome.
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Adam Ray
I have an opportunity. Economy, for both of you, if you're interested. Get out here.
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Joe DeRosa
I thought that was Joe Biden for a minute. Is that Joe Biden? Joe Biden. Joe Biden's doing a Ralphie May impression.
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Adam Ray
Camel. Camel toes.
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Joe DeRosa
Camel toes.
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Adam Ray
Don't look laughing, man.
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Joe DeRosa
That was my nickname in middle school. Camel toes. There's also my.
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Adam Ray
Your thing with Biden and. And Shane Gillis on Kill Tony. Oh, yeah. I felt bad because I called you for some reason.
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Joe DeRosa
Yeah.
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Adam Ray
Out of the blue. And I'm like, hey, what's going on?
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Joe DeRosa
Yeah.
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Adam Ray
And I'm like, hey, Adam, how are you?
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Joe DeRosa
Always, bro.
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Adam Ray
How you doing? Good. And I said, I'm talking to him. I remember what I was asking you. You're like, hey, I gotta go. I'm getting in makeup. I'm Biden on Kill Tony in about 10 minutes.
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Joe DeRosa
Oh, that's right. Wow, that was.
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Adam Ray
Geez, I'm sorry. And then that was Wild Day.
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Joe DeRosa
Apparently, that was the most loaded we. I remember Tony.
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Adam Ray
And then it's like, you have reached a number that is disconnected.
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Joe DeRosa
Damn it up. Come on. That we were doing kill Tony on that Monday and it was a Friday and Tony called me, he was like, change of plans. You gotta come to Austin tonight. Shane's gonna do Trump. You gotta bring your makeup gown, Dubai now. Bought a new vest. It's a go time, baby. And we did it. And we were like. And by the way, I talked to Shane to be.
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Adam Ray
Is he in black and white in person?
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Joe DeRosa
Yes.
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Adam Ray
Go dime, baby. 23 skidoo come to mind. You see, you know about it.
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Joe DeRosa
See, there's a lot of riff raff at Joe Rogan's club. We lock up the phones, we say whatever we want about trans people. And so he, so he goes, this is going to be kind of a parody of the. The debate.
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Adam Ray
Yeah.
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Joe DeRosa
And you know which the debate was like I ran for vice president and LFP for first for my class. And that debate was no different than the Biden Trump debate. It was like Trump was like, joe, you mama's got fed stinky titch. Everybody knows it.
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Adam Ray
Sorry, that's one of the only ones we say everything with that dumb word.
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Joe DeRosa
See, I've been word perf the tea. Literally.
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Adam Ray
Yeah, but that's one you'd think is no big deal.
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Joe DeRosa
I thought, yeah, why would you go there? But you hit it.
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Adam Ray
I said earlier this morning, my dick is wouldn't fit in a horse's nose. That's fine.
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Joe DeRosa
That's why I thought I was in a safe space. Wow, you've changed since COVID I could say whatever I wanted up here. So, so, so that I barely talked to Shane. And so we're getting to know each other like in makeup, doing that. That was the longest we talking. So I even leaned over at one point. I go, Shane, you realize it's the longest you've ever talked to each other. And he goes, joe, shut the F up. He goes, trader to die soon, baby. And. And then Tony said it's got. The Brady roast was the most viewed thing, but now this is the got to be close. Like 9.5 billion minutes or something.
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Adam Ray
And it was so funny.
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Joe DeRosa
I've had people come up to me, they were like, I had a guy come up me at a show, probably 76 year old man. And he goes, he goes, my grandson, my grandson hates. Loved you, Joe Biden. He goes, he hates Biden, but he loved your impression. And I go, I love that he has a political stance at seven years old. I appreciate the compliment.
- [07:44]
Adam Ray
It means nobody's working the remote. And the boy has to watch BOX. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com College hoops.
- [07:56]
Larry McFeely
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- [08:25]
Adam Ray
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.
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Joe DeRosa
Nice.
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Adam Ray
Is that a big deal to get done? Not at all. It takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say we're Amco. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double a MCO transmissions and.
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Joe DeRosa
A whole lot more.
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Adam Ray
Holmberg's morning sickness.
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Joe DeRosa
Oh, wait, I did want to tell you that. So those. So Kid Rock was at the Jelly Roll roast. And doing roast as characters has gotten me a little more comfy to do it as myself. And so when I was throwing out a few to Jelly Roll and Kid Rock was there, and they're like, hey, he's kind of sensitive. Don't do like I thought any jokes really, about Kid Rock, if you can. In my head, I was like, I'm gonna do a bunch now, right?
- [09:15]
Adam Ray
You know?
- [09:16]
Joe DeRosa
Cause he's. You told me not to. I want to do it now. I want to see what he does. So I was like, kid Rock's here. I go. 15 year old me is effing stoked, you know, And I go, kid Rock. I go, I'll make this quick. I know you got to get back to talking too loud at a cracker Barrel. And then I go, by the way, crack or barrel is how Kid Rock's life is going to end. And then that got a big pop. And then I go, I said, and then I meet him backstage and he goes, you know, I've. He goes, funny man. Funny man. He goes, you know, I've f. More women than you. Yeah, but I've probably done it more consensually, right? I go, so that's a big deal. That's something to hang your hat on and put in your diary. And then he goes, funny man. Funny man. And then I go. And then he goes. Goes, all right. He goes, you just can't turn off, huh? And I go, no, I can't. I go, and you can't stop looking like Snoop Dogg and White Face. And then that was where the friendship ended.
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Adam Ray
That's where it's all up. We did an interview with him where I. I would do a serious interview, and then I sent Toledo in afterwards, and we did a thing called Inside the Rockstar Studio where he would do questions that, like, remember James Lipton? But they were ridiculous. Like more beautiful flower vomiting or, you know, something ridiculous. First question he didn't play on you. Is this going to be the whole thing? And he. And I'm like, yeah, pretty much. And he goes, all right, we're done here. And he just got up and left like there was no play in Bob Ritchie.
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Joe DeRosa
No, Bob Richie.
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Adam Ray
Come on, Bob. Bob Richie.
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Joe DeRosa
Bob Richie. I think opened a checking account for me at Chase.
- [10:32]
Adam Ray
Both. That's. That's. So he was not fun at all. Let's just not play with.
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Joe DeRosa
But had a run in the 90s, right? Pam Anderson. Who else is on?
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Adam Ray
Oh, yeah, I see. That's the only one I know. And he always brags about, can we look that up?
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Joe DeRosa
Can we look that up?
- [10:45]
Adam Ray
Yeah, he didn't go to a Heather Locklear or anything like that. And that's kind of rude of you to assume, but, yeah, I think maybe family woman. She's got kids.
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Joe DeRosa
Kids, sure.
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Adam Ray
She's banged a lot of guys, but that's a bridge too far with the kid. Keep it at Sambora And David Spade, and then we'll move on from that.
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Joe DeRosa
Spade, huh?
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Adam Ray
Spade got that one, too.
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Joe DeRosa
He also had a run. Huh? He had a run. Him and Mario Lopez, I feel like, just dominated.
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Adam Ray
Did Lopez get. I just know he had a couple of.
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Joe DeRosa
I was on some POD and they pulled up his Mario Lopez hit list, and. Yeah, here we go.
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Adam Ray
Audrey Berry. No, don't know her. Kelly Pickler. I didn't know that.
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Joe DeRosa
Wow.
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Adam Ray
American Idol.
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Joe DeRosa
American Idol. Geez.
- [11:23]
Adam Ray
That's okay. That's sort of b.
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Joe DeRosa
She's just a fan. That's like, yeah.
- [11:27]
Adam Ray
I mean, these are girls I think I could get.
- [11:29]
Joe DeRosa
Yeah, yeah. May Anderson.
- [11:31]
Adam Ray
She might have been an only fans girl. Danish model. Danish model. Does she model Danish or is she from Paris Hilton? No, that didn't happen.
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Joe DeRosa
No, it didn't happen. So hot.
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Adam Ray
Nope. That one's good. And now we're getting this. I don't know who these people are. So. His. His. You know, yeah. Maybe he's had a lot of sex.
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Joe DeRosa
But Tamara Mellon and there.
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Adam Ray
He looks like.
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Joe DeRosa
He does look like Macaulay Colton. Yeah.
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Adam Ray
Conchita Leaf Lang. I think she was one of the vampires in that HBO special. Yeah. I don't know. Jamie Presley's not fair. I don't want to go down that road, but. Yeah, I didn't know, so. But quantity and quality are two different things.
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Joe DeRosa
Cheryl Crow.
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Adam Ray
Oh, come on. They just did a song together.
- [12:11]
John Holmberg
It says rumored relationship back.
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Adam Ray
They didn't exchange fluids. I'm not allow. That one. Now that one we all know about.
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Joe DeRosa
Pam Anderson.
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Adam Ray
All right. Well, there you go.
- [12:20]
Joe DeRosa
Wild.
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Adam Ray
That's an interesting. Do you have any kills you want to share right now? You and Flita or whatever her name was. She got them all. Anybody on that list that you Are you Eskimo twins with the Kid Rock and all?
- [12:33]
Joe DeRosa
No. No. Unless Conchita Alonzo. I was gonna say Aaron Domingo from Shoreline, Washington, maybe. No. And I didn't even. I didn't even sleep with her. She actually.
- [12:43]
Adam Ray
You know what?
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Joe DeRosa
She touched her boobs. And then she left me for my best friend in ninth grade. We'll be right back. True story. Happy with four kids. Very happy.
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Adam Ray
Four kids.
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Joe DeRosa
Yes. Told.
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Adam Ray
She left you for a guy in ninth grade. And stuck with it.
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Joe DeRosa
Stuck with it. So I. I respect the game, dude.
- [12:57]
Adam Ray
Man. Yeah.
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Joe DeRosa
She's.
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Adam Ray
You were. You were the one that turned her to like. The next one's forever.
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Joe DeRosa
She wanted.
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Adam Ray
The next one is forever.
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Joe DeRosa
Yeah.
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Adam Ray
Yeah. She was not risking this.
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Joe DeRosa
Wow. This guy didn't put. I mean, I was so.
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Adam Ray
I'm not going through this.
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Joe DeRosa
I was so self conscious to like get me toed before it even happened. I was like, maybe this is what not having a dad around did, where he was like, you got to just take it out and shove it in the face. Because my mom was like, don't ever do it. You know, I don't know. Balance.
- [13:19]
Adam Ray
We'll be right back.
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Joe DeRosa
Adam Ray said it.
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Adam Ray
Do the entertainment drill. I was going to do other stuff.
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Joe DeRosa
Let's do it.
- [13:24]
Adam Ray
No, no. We're doing the entertainment. You got another commercial thing. That's how this works.
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John Holmberg
Wow.
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Joe DeRosa
I just got an audio message from the rock. Sorry. I still get very excited.
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Adam Ray
Let's Hear it immediately.
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Joe DeRosa
Dude, I get.
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Adam Ray
How many times does it say the N word? What don't we know about the rock?
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Joe DeRosa
I can't play it.
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Adam Ray
Is it cursy?
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Joe DeRosa
It might be, yeah. Oh, is this so funny? I still get, like a kid in a candy store. I would, too.
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Adam Ray
That's the Rock.
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Joe DeRosa
We're pitching a show. Well, we pitched it to him and hopefully pitching it to places soon.
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Adam Ray
So he just texts you to say.
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Joe DeRosa
Hey, I just saw the top. It said, just checking in on you. How's the family? How's the house? Let me know. Thinking about you. And then there's some cursing.
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Adam Ray
By the way. This, that, and the.
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Joe DeRosa
Yeah, but. Yeah, how about that?
- [14:05]
Adam Ray
Well, that's kind of neat. Recently any good text? No, nothing.
- [14:09]
Joe DeRosa
But he. That might be. Yeah. He and I have shared. We have. We're Eskimo brothers.
- [14:13]
Adam Ray
Oh, you and Rock.
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Joe DeRosa
Yeah, in my dreams.
- [14:15]
Adam Ray
Oh, yeah, I know he's had a couple.
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Joe DeRosa
I mean, those. You know, where you're just like. Oh. You ever have those dreams where, like, I got a dream once I was going down on Katy Perry, and then all of a sudden, she started playing the. It was when the iPhone first came out, and she was just like. And all of a sudden, she pulled out a guitar. So I'm going, dan, Dan, Dan. Dad. She played the ringtone, and I was like, what are you playing that for? And that was my alarm going off when I woke up. Thanks a lot, Nike. Well, you couldn't keep me asleep for 15 more minutes so I could make her, by the way.
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Adam Ray
Yeah, make you make her.
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Joe DeRosa
I didn't know what to say.
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Adam Ray
I don't know how to.
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Joe DeRosa
What's the word I could use?
- [14:45]
Adam Ray
Climax is fine.
- [14:46]
Joe DeRosa
Okay.
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Adam Ray
I think there's other ones.
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Joe DeRosa
Or. Yeah, you can. You can say squirt, but you can't say, sure, it's a drink. Wow. Sure, it's a drink. Someone's in comedy.
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Adam Ray
And it's also why my grandmother had plastic on the furniture.
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Joe DeRosa
Wow.
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Adam Ray
Yuck. Right?
- [15:00]
Joe DeRosa
Do you want to hear a great Internet joke? Why did Dr. Peck. Why did doctor.
- [15:03]
Adam Ray
Dr. Packer. I don't know if you could say that.
- [15:09]
Joe DeRosa
Why did Dr. Pepper come in a can?
- [15:11]
Adam Ray
Oh, God.
- [15:12]
Joe DeRosa
Because his wife died. Thanks, Brad Garrett.
- [15:17]
Adam Ray
That makes sense.
- [15:18]
Joe DeRosa
Yeah.
- [15:18]
Adam Ray
That wasn't a great one. We'll go. We'll be right back.
- [15:21]
Joe DeRosa
Ray wouldn't like Raymond.
- [15:23]
Adam Ray
He disapproves.
- [15:24]
Joe DeRosa
He's a Diet Pepsi.
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Adam Ray
We had a girl here who was about £100 named Madeline. But the first time I ever talked to her, my dog was here. Bus. And she likes dogs. And I didn't know her at all. And she's tiny. And Bus runs up to her and she's petting, and she's down on her haunches petting my dog. And she looks at me, she goes, what's his name? I'm like, oh, my God, we turned her into Brattle. And because it's like she's Brattle and Garrett, I want to ride a horse someday. That would be a dream of mine. You're too small to sound like this.
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Joe DeRosa
Oh, my God.
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Adam Ray
What's your dog's name? I'd like to know it. Anyway, Adam Ray's at standup live. Standup live.com. we'll do the entertainment drill. We'll be done with that. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98. Can't you go?
- [16:06]
Diane Fisher
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