01-15-24 - BR - WED - Deaf Schizophrenics See Sign Language Instead Of Voices - Cop Hires Hooker Who Then Steals His Car - After Seeing A Bret Rosebud Vid We Think There's A Mil People In Phx w/That Problem

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Summary: January 15, 2025
Release Date: January 15, 2025

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1. Comedy Show Announcements (00:00 - 00:31)

Host John Holmberg kicks off the episode by promoting upcoming comedy events across Arizona. He highlights performances at various Improv locations:

• Tempe Improv: Featuring Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling from Friday to Sunday.
• Desert Ridge Improv: Showcasing Sarah Weinschenk on Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday.
• Stand Up Live Downtown: Presenting Lil Rel on Friday through Sunday.

Notable Quote:
“For tickets, go to standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com, and tempeimprov.com.” – John Holmberg [00:00]

2. Core Institute and Health Segment (00:31 - 02:24)

Brady Bogen shares a testimonial about the Core Institute, emphasizing the institute's role in managing pain and improving quality of life. He recounts a listener's story where a dog caused a severe knee injury, which was successfully treated by the institute.

Notable Quotes:
“Life can throw you a curveball now and again… it’s all thanks to the Core Institute.” – Brady Bogen [00:31]
“You can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.” – Brady Bogen [00:31]

3. Brady Report: Various News Highlights (02:24 - 16:08)

a. Fake Images and AI Implications (03:26 - 08:34)

Dick Toledo and Brady Bogen delve into the topic of creating fake images of people, discussing the absence of federal laws prohibiting such actions. They explore the ethical and legal boundaries, especially in the age of AI.

Notable Quotes:
"There is no federal law banning the creation of fake images of people." – Dick Toledo [03:26]
"Now with AI, you can make something that looks just like you." – Brady Bogen [04:22]

b. Workplace Engagement Statistics (09:11 - 12:14)

The hosts discuss a poll revealing that only 31% of employees feel engaged at work, marking a ten-year low. They touch upon issues like workplace bullying and the rise of face tattoos among employees.

Notable Quote:
"Only 31 of the employees reported feeling engaged at work, which is a 10-year low." – Dick Toledo [05:08]

4. Mental Health Discussion: Deaf Schizophrenics and Sign Language (12:14 - 08:34)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to a complex discussion about mental health, specifically focusing on deaf individuals with schizophrenia. The hosts debate the notion that some deaf schizophrenics "see" sign language instead of hearing voices, challenging the validity of such claims.

Notable Quotes:
"Many deaf people with schizophrenia don't hear voices in their head. Some see a pair of disembodied hands signing in their mind." – Dick Toledo [05:16]
"I think you're crazy. If you can communicate with another person in your head and they're using their feet to talk to you, you're already nuts." – Brady Bogen [07:04]
"There are no people doing sign language with their feet. With schizophrenia and multiple personality disorders, that is a zero." – Brady Bogen [08:34]

5. National Pizza Week and Pineapple Pizza Pricing (24:37 - 25:10)

The hosts discuss a quirky story from England where a pizza place charges an exorbitant $120 for a pineapple-topped pizza, reflecting the owners' disdain for the popular topping.

Notable Quote:
"The owners think pineapple on pizza is a crime. So if you want the pineapple pizza there, it'll cost you $120." – Dick Toledo [24:45]

6. Cop Hires Hooker Who Then Steals His Car (17:31 - 22:24)

A particularly engaging segment covers the story of Cop Jaron Harry from Virginia Beach, who hired a hooker named Alexis Copeland (Dream). Dream stole his car, wallet, phone, keys, and even police credentials after their encounter. The narrative explores the repercussions, including Dream's legal troubles and Jaron's subsequent firing.

Notable Quotes:
"She took his car wallet, phone, keys, and police credentials." – Dick Toledo [18:09]
"He used his neighbor's phone to call it in. Dream is facing half a dozen charges." – Dick Toledo [18:18]
"Never have a hooker at the house." – Brady Bogen [18:16]

7. Amazon Prime's Policy Changes on 'Try Before You Buy' (16:08 - 17:14)

The hosts debate Amazon Prime's decision to end the "try before you buy" feature for prime members, which previously allowed customers to purchase up to seven apparel items, try them within seven days, and return what they didn't keep.

Notable Quotes:
"If you don't like it within the seven-day period, you have to send it back." – Dick Toledo [16:30]
"It's like going to a dressing room and you pay for everything first." – Brady Bogen [16:28]
"With AI technology, they're able to size you without trying the clothes on physically." – Dick Toledo [16:40]

8. Public Libraries vs. McDonald's (05:08 - 06:03)

A quick yet intriguing fact reveals that the United States boasts more public libraries (approximately 16,500) than McDonald's locations (under 14,000), contrary to popular belief.

Notable Quote:
"There are more public libraries in the US than McDonald's." – Dick Toledo [04:53]

9. Rosebuds Discussion (34:14 - 40:45)

The hosts engage in a humorous yet bizarre discussion about "rosebuds," a term they loosely associate with certain physiological phenomena. The conversation spirals into absurdity, blending humor with fictional elements about public behaviors.

Notable Quotes:
"There is an awful lot of people whose buttholes are out of their bodies. And that's on film." – Brady Bogen [34:46]
"Nobody in the room watching a rosebud has not had their own rosebud." – Brady Bogen [35:23]
"Rosebuds are a full-on beehive that comes out of something breaching the crest." – Brady Bogen [35:52]

10. Audience-Sharing Video Content and Reactions (26:06 - 40:45)

Listeners share various viral videos, ranging from "Super Dog" on a motorcycle to distressing self-harm clips. The hosts provide humorous and sometimes insensitive commentary, reflecting their characteristic edgy and provocative style.

Notable Quotes:
"He's taking a steak knife to his balls. It's his balls and it's…" – Brady Bogen [30:07]
"This one's for Brady. How'd you see this one?" – Larry [31:03]
"Super Dog… jumps off the bike and starts running." – Dick Toledo [26:23]

11. Closing Remarks and Advertisements (41:35 - End)

The episode concludes with Brady Bogen and Dick Toledo wrapping up their discussions, interspersed with advertisements for local businesses and services. They maintain their humorous banter, leaving listeners with a mix of entertainment and information.

Notable Quote:
"Visit homework's morning sickness [e-mail]." – John Holmberg [28:37]

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Key Takeaways:

• Diverse Topics: The episode covers a wide range of subjects, from local comedy shows and health segments to controversial news stories and bizarre online trends.

• Engaging Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo provide a dynamic and often provocative dialogue, keeping listeners entertained through humor and candid discussions.

• Mental Health Insight: A significant and sensitive discussion on the experiences of deaf individuals with schizophrenia offers listeners a glimpse into rare psychological phenomena, albeit with a comedic twist.

• Local Stories: The narrative about the cop and the hooker stealing his car adds a local flavor, resonating with the Arizona audience.

• Humor and Controversy: The hosts balance humor with controversial topics, ensuring that the content remains engaging and thought-provoking.

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the content segments of the podcast, excluding advertisements, intros, and outros as per the request.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for.

[Brady]

The amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now, the core institute.com the emails are finding about the dude who did the whacking off at the bikini bean, evidently. And I've watched the video now. Dude pulls up in his Dodge. It's got a Charger or Challenger or whatever, and they're already filming him. So when he realizes, oh, they're filming me, he takes off. That's a. That's a guy who's done that a whole bunch of times. Yeah, you don't. So that. Yeah. So now the Internet's like, you know, he took his own life after this. Like, yeah, there had to be some more to that. But that's just weird. He had no pants on either. And the girl, once, she kind of leaned the camera and he realized what was going on, he just takes off. Life is not going your direction. But again, it's almost like some sort of weird bigotry in the headline. Former swimmer, huh? Like, stop it. That's not even part of the story. The reporter's just like, wait a minute. He was on the swim team. That goes against everything I know. Again on MLK Day. Stop it with the stereotype headlines. We'll take care of that right here. Brady's gonna do it now. It's called the Brady Report. It's all the news that only Brady knows. And now you have to listen to it. Brady reported.

[Toledo]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Diane]

Hello, world.

[Brady]

Hi.

[Toledo]

Happy National Bagel Day.

[Larry]

Oh, maybe Larry will bring us in. Some hope so.

[Brady]

Larry's homemade.

[Toledo]

He's the one who told me yesterday. You know what tomorrow is?

[Brady]

Is he making them?

[Toledo]

I don't think so.

[Brady]

It's a process to do it, but he does it at home. Those are the best bagels I've ever had in my life. They were incredible. His parents used to own Karsha's Bakery.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Over in downtown Phoenix, which was like kind of a legendary bakery here in town. His parents owned that. So Larry's got the skill. It's in his. It's in his blood to make bagels. Wow. I mean, come on.

[Toledo]

If you're in the East Valley, go to Bonjourno Bagels.

[Brady]

That's a good one.

[Toledo]

And then we have at our old station building on Elliot and the i10, there's Bagel Man.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, the Bagel Man. Is that still there? Bagel for sure.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Where's Bonjourno Bagels?

[Toledo]

On, like, Gilbert, just north of the 202. The south two of Santan.

[Brady]

You know a lot about that.

[Toledo]

Good stuff. All right, couple of baseless fun facts. There is no federal law banning the creation of fake images of people, meaning no federal law. So I think you could by state, maybe you can get in trouble.

[Brady]

But what is it. What do you mean by making a fake image of people?

[Toledo]

Banning the creation of fake images of people.

[Brady]

So I can do, like, an image of you banging a goat?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's nothing you can do about that.

[Toledo]

I think it differs. Maybe if. If you're.

[Brady]

If it's fake figure public figures more maybe out there. Why not?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That would be parody. Well, how's that different than, like, MAD magazine?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So now with AI can look real before you have to draw it or, like, kind of manufacture it. So now you're saying that it does. There's no law right now at all saying that I can't make something looks just like you.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Because we see them posted all the time of celebrities in different situations. Oh, there's a whole bunch of Trump dancing. I've seen out.

[Brady]

I've seen Kamala do some things. Yeah, I've seen Kamala do some things.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. I've seen Dua Lipa having sex with a guy.

[Larry]

Well, how about the one wasn't real.

[Brady]

But man T. Swift taking on the whole cheese. That's right when. That's right when Taylor. That was pretty realistic for a minute too. There's a cute. There's a glitch or two in that. But it was real enough for me to play along.

[Toledo]

There are more public libraries in the US than McDonald's. There are approximately 16, 500 public libraries, less than 14,000 McDonald's. I would have thought that would be the other way around, but by the.

[Brady]

Way, my friend Nick says the bagel man is still. Definitely up there in Elliot and whatever, still alive.

[Toledo]

Many deaf people with schizophrenia don't hear voices in their head. Some see a pair of disembodied hands signing in their mind.

[Brady]

Really? The voices in their head are sign language? Yeah, how about that?

[Toledo]

Dalmatians became firehouse dogs in the 1800s because the fire engines were pulled by horses. And dalmatians get along with the horses better than any other breed.

[Brady]

Do the voices in their head have different personalities?

[Toledo]

There's no voices.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[Toledo]

They're the hands the hands have.

[Brady]

Yeah, because like right now, if you have voices, you got the evil one, you've got the British Lord, you've got.

[Toledo]

To be a celebrity hand.

[Brady]

Is the. Is it the hand? Because like literally, if you look at people and schizophrenia, isn't it like multiple personality disorders the one. But if you had that in your head and you're deaf and you're saying that it's hands, do the hands take on? Because when multiple personalities, they have like, they'll have accents or they'll be, you know, gruff or tender or they have different, varying voices. Do their hands do that? How do you know who's talking to you? Oh, Christ.

[Larry]

That means you got a mime in your head.

[Brady]

Yeah, you got a mime.

[Larry]

That's the worst.

[Toledo]

Mickey Mouse Kill me now. You know, they give a three fingered, one helper hands.

[Brady]

Like a gruff one would be like a tattoo on the hand. And I want to dive more into this, by the way. How many deaf multiple personality schizophrenics are there? Probably a couple.

[Toledo]

And it doesn't say all, just says some of.

[Brady]

Oh, sure, sure. Some do have voices in their heads.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that'd be my guess.

[Brady]

But that's what you said, so I'm asking.

[Toledo]

No, I just said some have hands.

[Brady]

But then, yeah, the other ones would.

[Toledo]

Be voices don't have anything.

[Brady]

Well, then they wouldn't have schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder.

[Larry]

Sounds terrible.

[Toledo]

Why does it have to be something always in.

[Brady]

Well, what's in your head if you have nothing. What are the multiple personalities if there's no manifestation?

[Toledo]

It could be it. Well, it's got to have. Well, they have some image what you're saying.

[Brady]

Right, but that's what I'm asking. Like it would be a voice or would it be. It has to communicate with them.

[Toledo]

Would it be toes?

[Brady]

I don't think they communicate with communicating. I don't think that's a thing.

[Toledo]

Signing with toes, different limbs.

[Brady]

You don't know how sign language works?

[Toledo]

No. Oh, you could do it with your feet.

[Brady]

You can.

[Toledo]

Yeah, if you have to.

[Larry]

I'd like to see that.

[Brady]

I'm leaving. Yeah, I'd like to see you even draw that.

[Toledo]

How I'm just basing on. A guy could pack piano with their feet.

[Brady]

Okay, so you're saying somebody.

[Toledo]

You could have the ability to be.

[Brady]

Able to have dexterity in their feet. But why in the would you even waste time learning sign language if you lost your arms? Just forget it. Write me a note. I'm not going through this.

[Toledo]

It's a tough time.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're. You really try to find the other angle down to the point.000000001%. There are no people doing sign language with their feet. With schizophrenia and multiple personality disorders, that is a zero. A zero.

[Adam Ray]

Look how important the phone is to Sean Rockefeller.

[Brady]

Think about how Brady hinged his entire argument on the hopes that a double amputee who can't hear signs with his feet. And also John, there's always one that. No, I didn't. I. When have I ever said that Sometimes there's zero. They're hoping that that person who's gone through so much, lost their hearing in both their arms, now has multiple personality hoping. Well, in the argument you're hoping he exists because then it makes you kind of have a point.

[Larry]

And you guys make fun of me with the Asian playing piano at his feet. This guy's talking in silent proof of that.

[Brady]

Brady thought that the multiple personality guy who has no hands might. Might think of a guy trying to sign language feet to him.

[Larry]

Even if they did, I wouldn't pay attention. Bunions and athletes feet.

[Brady]

Well, I think you're crazy. If you can communicate with another person in your head and they're using their feet to talk to you, you're already nuts.

[Toledo]

According to a new poll.

[Brady]

I'm talking about you. You know, that's you. I just diagnosed you, you lunatic.

[Diane]

Maybe they use their feet to communicate.

[Toledo]

No, there's a Gallup poll out on Americans in the workplace and it found that 46% of employees clearly know what is expected of them at work.

[Brady]

I'm still stuck on that feet sign language thing. I gotta see that.

[Toledo]

Only 31 of the employees reported feeling engaged at work, which is a 10 year low.

[Brady]

It would be really funny to watch somebody doing feet sign language when they applaud because applause for sign was just hands over your head and shake them. Yeah.

[Larry]

Jazz hands.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. You go crazy whore to get your feet up above your head and start. Stop going to shows. Stop going to plays.

[Adam Ray]

So they potato bug up.

[Brady]

Yeah, they have to potato bug and throw them in there. So you have to understand he does sign language with his feet. Everyone would constantly be explaining what the hell is he doing.

[Toledo]

There's a story that's going around that on social media it asked people about trends that everyone will regret in 10 years. Some were putting their whole lives on the Internet.

[Brady]

Oh yeah.

[Toledo]

The worst parts will resurface.

[Brady]

What have I said for years? The viper in your pocket. Keep. Keep posting all of your great ideas. Ten years from now somebody's gonna find.

[Toledo]

Something they don't like filming kids worst moments on the Internet clout. Basically trying to say it's funny that they film their kid doing something.

[Larry]

They come back and murder you later.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, there's that.

[Toledo]

Bullying teachers out of their profession.

[Brady]

Bullying them.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Way to go, John.

[Brady]

I'm not bullying them out. I'm telling. I'm giving them power. Quit your stupid job so you don't get bullied by these kids and parents anymore. I'm your strength.

[Toledo]

Face tattoos.

[Brady]

That is an immediate regret. That's not just 10 years.

[Toledo]

That should be immediate cosmetic surgeries and procedures. They specifically said the buckle fat removal.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's buckle fat is through your chin.

[Toledo]

The jawline.

[Brady]

Jawline and stuff. And like through here. Buckle fat parents allowing jowls.

[Toledo]

Get your butthole fat parents allowing children to run the show.

[Brady]

Well, sorry Gilbert.

[Toledo]

Giving kids really terrible names.

[Brady]

Sorry Gilbert.

[Toledo]

Sending their DNA into a random company.

[Brady]

I totally think that's a mistake.

[Toledo]

The proliferation of sports betting. Someone said stop it.

[Brady]

Well that'll cause problems for. For certain people. But that was going to be their problem no matter what. It wasn't like that was the only outlet.

[Toledo]

And these are just. Listen. People are saying having an only fans.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Regrettable later in life buying cyber trucks.

[Brady]

I was. No way that's gonna be. You're gonna.

[Larry]

Oh, you're still in on that.

[Brady]

No, I didn't do it. But I'm still, like, winking. A nod to the people who had the courage to do it. The. They're sort of the DeLorean of our time, though. Yeah. I was watching yesterday, flipping through the channels, and Keeping up with the Kardashians was on, and I'm like, that's still a thing. So I stopped. And it was from, like, 11 years ago when Tristan was with Chloe and he got caught banging Kylie's best friend at some club, Jordan. And I'm like, they rerun these. Is that. I guess you're not really keeping up with them anymore. Like, that's years ago. And then I started thinking, she's talking about her baby because she was pregnant the first time he started boning other people. And that little girl is now watching 10 years later is this day my mom's on TV talking about dad. Oh, I didn't know he was doing that while I was still in mom's womb. Like, that's not good. So there's regrettability to, like, filming everything about your life, especially as happy as the whole family was to talk about, you know, the father of one of the kids being just awful. And the Lamar Odom thing got brought up again, and I don't think you want to remember everything. This is Holmberg's morning sickness [e-mail] College.

[Michael]

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[Brady]

Switch.

[Michael]

Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters. The original wing joint since 1983.

[Adam Ray]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement.

[Brady]

What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Adam Ray]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Brady]

Not at all. It takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco.

[Adam Ray]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[Brady]

A whole lot more.

[Shane]

Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe marketplace off the 202emmeclintock, Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] CUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools if we don't have it, we can't sell it.

[Diane Fisher]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney is as assisted over 3000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today.

[Brady]

Holmberg's Morning sickness.

[Toledo]

It looks like Amazon prime is gonna end its try before you buy option for prime members. You could buy up to seven items of apparel. You can give you seven days to try it out, send it back. The reason why they're doing it is.

[Adam Ray]

It takes huge advantage.

[Brady]

I've never even known about it. Then you got to send it back.

[Toledo]

If you don't like it the seven day period.

[Brady]

So they charge you for everything and then you parse out what you want and send it back. So it's like going to a dressing room and you pay for everything first.

[Adam Ray]

She does it mostly because she's really particular on size.

[Brady]

That's also lazy and really convenient.

[Toledo]

Well now they're saying with the AI technology that they're able to do with the Amazon, they've got companies that will put your figure out your body form and they can size you.

[Brady]

You wouldn't trust a jeans company selling your jeans to put their jeans on your body. They're not going to be honest about it. It's always going to look better.

[Larry]

I heard too. You get, you get cheap pricks that tuck the tuck the tags and stuff like that. Wear them and then send them back.

[Brady]

Yeah, I've Done that with suits.

[Toledo]

Starbucks is closing their doors to non paying customers.

[Brady]

Good.

[Toledo]

A lot of Starbucks have people hanging.

[Brady]

Out there that are called hobos and homeless people try to crack down on that. Smart. That's right. If you want to do drugs, you can't do them in the Starbucks anymore. There's places for that.

[Toledo]

There's this cop that is in Virginia beach named Jaron Harry. He was forced to rat on himself after he hired a hooker who stole his car. His. Her name was Alexis Copeland. She's 20 years old, but she goes by the name of Dream. He met her on an app and sent her a hundred bucks through Apple pay to come over to his place to get it on. According to the police report, they laid in bed for a while before agreeing to shower together. But jumped in the shower. And Dream never joined him.

[Brady]

She took his car.

[Toledo]

When he got out, she was gone. Along with his car wallet, phone, keys and police credentials.

[Brady]

Never have a hooker to the house.

[Toledo]

He used his neighbor's phone to call it in. And the cops found Dream driving around in his car with a different guy. She told him that it was her baby daddy.

[Brady]

Oh, that her daddy? It's her pimp.

[Toledo]

She claimed that Jaron offered to let her use the car. So she and. And she used at least one credit card. She's facing half a dozen charges.

[Larry]

You think?

[Toledo]

But see where isn't facing any charges yet. But he's not a cop anymore. He got fired last week.

[Brady]

Well sir, that's a quick way to get.

[Toledo]

This is Dream.

[Brady]

She looking good? No, no, no, no. She looks a little bit like Warren Sapp. So not a good. Not a good hire there. Never ever. First off, shower with the hooker first. You don't lay in bed right after. You want to take a shower now and wash some of that off like. Yeah, but I had a long day. You shower with the prostitute before and you know, you put everything. You don't. There's so many rules broken here. You don't have her to the house. You don't leave your wallet and keys laying around. You find a nice safe spot for that and then you keep an eye on her at all times. You don't leave her alone. I'll be in the shower naked and helpless for a little bit. You're gonna join me? You bet. All right.

[Larry]

Didn't he inspect the merchandise before ordering? I mean this is.

[Brady]

That's bad. Yeah, that's an Amazon call. Like yeah, that's the seven day send back. Oh, I had ordered something in a small and you are clearly an Excel. This will not fit.

[Adam Ray]

Open the door, Joel. So I have to call a cab.

[Brady]

I have to call my cab. Joe, I'm here because the prostitution bell rang. Yes, I ordered something completely different. That's just dumb. If you're going to get a hooker at the house, like make a clean room, put some plastic down, go to.

[Adam Ray]

Asu, Make a Dexter room.

[Brady]

You can make a Dexter room. You're breaking the law. Just like Dexter is not going to kill her. She might kill you, but you don't put her in your regular bed and leave your keys laying around. And the dogs get locked up. She didn't. She didn't get to be friendly with your pets because that's going to result in later. Like when the dogs are used to her. You just. You ice her out of your life, you boner. And you get her out. Why are you showering her up too? Get her out. You're cleaning her up for the next guy. What's wrong with you?

[Toledo]

And all of a sudden get some of that off.

[Brady]

I don't want anybody to taste my seed that's all over you. I'm a Decent John. Sorry.

[Toledo]

67 year old Cleo Spence. He lives in Albany, Georgia. He called the Albany Police Department to have a mom and her children evicted from the home that he owned. He was renting it to him. The mother called the police and said she found text messages between spence and her 17 year old daughter and said she'd been sexually assaulted by Spence. An interview with the teenage daughter revealed that she, the daughter, had been in a sexual relationship with the older man since August. But it was by the urging of her mother to help pay rent.

[Brady]

Well, did they get evicted?

[Toledo]

Investigators were able to determine that 17 year old mother was instructing her daughter.

[Brady]

She wasn't good at it then.

[Toledo]

Yeah. So she's in trouble and he's in trouble.

[Brady]

Sure, everybody's in trouble.

[Toledo]

Toledo K, grooming, aggravated sodomy.

[Brady]

Alex is doing it on his own.

[Larry]

Aggravated sodomy.

[Brady]

He hasn't. He hasn't missed rent all month. You're not encouraging it? We are. Anything to pay the bills. I say if you're down on your luck, that's. Then you got that as a weapon. And she's underage. That's not right. But still, if you luck, Alex, your first day of classes, if you can pay for rent with your wang or your Huey and you've got no money otherwise, guess what you're gonna have to do.

[Larry]

Oh, wait a minute. He actually made it. He made it to school.

[Toledo]

Is happening.

[Brady]

Today's first day he's going to school.

[Adam Ray]

He got all signed up.

[Larry]

Well, that's the rumor.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[Adam Ray]

Track him.

[Brady]

We can walk around the campus.

[Adam Ray]

Come on. He's not motivated to get a job. You think he's motivated to walk around campus?

[Brady]

Does that mean he's motivated to go to school? A lot of kids with student loans can help out with rent. Say it, Brady.

[Adam Ray]

Don't say it.

[Larry]

Do it.

[Adam Ray]

And don't make me. Goddamn.

[Brady]

Two emailers.

[Toledo]

The FDA is now proposing that nutrition info be placed on the front of packaged foods. Not the whole box with all the info, just a snapshot. Like three things. Saturated fat, sodium, and added sugars.

[Adam Ray]

They do that on most of them.

[Toledo]

But there's a whole list. What they're saying is they want to simplify it and just put it on the front.

[Adam Ray]

That's what I'm saying.

[Diane]

No, I have my Ralphie Mae along with Brandy for Fat Gardus. I just thought I'd pop by and say. You really think that adding the caloric calorie intake of every Oreo a little bigger is gonna stop us? You're crazy.

[Adam Ray]

It won't help you.

[Diane]

You can show pictures of dead bodies that are too fat. I ate too many Oreos. I'm still cracking that bag.

[Adam Ray]

Show Brett's pictures.

[Diane]

Show anything you want. I'm getting into that bag of Oreos.

[Toledo]

And the big thing is, they're gonna show a rating for each one, classifying as low, medium, and high.

[Diane]

All I see when I see a lot of calories is the taste meter just went up.

[Toledo]

You like the high?

[Diane]

I like it high.

[Adam Ray]

So wait, like a green light, yellow light. Red light situation.

[Diane]

If it's set yet. Like squid game.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Diane]

Red light, green light. If that thing says 500 calories per serving, get me five or six of those. That gonna taste good. Brady's fat guy news is right. Ahah, Brady. They think putting more information on the foot can slow us now. It just gives us more ideas. It shows you what's 60 calories. Okay, Twiggy, you could have that.

[Toledo]

So long, Ralphie.

[Diane]

All right, I'll talk to you guys later.

[Toledo]

This is National Pizza Week, and there's a place in England, a piece of pizza place, An England that added Hawaiian pizza to their menu. But the owners think pineapple on pizza is a crime. So if you want the pineapple pizza there, it'll cost you $120.

[Larry]

Oh, man.

[Toledo]

Other pizzas are more like 15 bucks. But once you add the Pineapple. It's an additional hundred dollars.

[Brady]

Then you go somewhere else for pineapple pizza.

[Larry]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Brady]

I like pineapple on pizza. I don't care. What? Who cares why people are so offended by it? Don't eat any of it. I don't like olives. I don't lose my mind over black olives on pizza. If somebody orders it, I pick them off. I used to. I don't know what happened. They taste like spongy soap to me. Now I can't eat them. I don't know. Something changed in my taste.

[Larry]

This is new.

[Brady]

Black olives. Yeah. Probably 10 years ago. I'm like, I can't. Not only that, I can now no longer eat anything an olive has touched. I used to be able to pick it off. Can't do it anymore.

[Adam Ray]

Salt brine and salt brine.

[Brady]

Don't know what it is. If it's on a salad, I can't eat the salad. I taste nothing but olives. It's gross. So you flick them off. I hate green.

[Larry]

I gotta have them in the martinis.

[Brady]

Well, you do.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You're Italian. You have to have them or your. Your body starts shutting down. It's like batteries.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Is there a time frame where you have to have.

[Brady]

It's like a video game. If he doesn't get his pellets, he starts to get too weak. It's just olives for him.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, Matthias goes, oh, go get. Go get.

[Brady]

It's getting weak. It's like a diabetic. We got to get him a little candy. He's gotta lick some honey.

[Toledo]

Got a couple of radio videos. The first one is Super Dog.

[Brady]

I'll call it Super Dong.

[Toledo]

Super Dog.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[Toledo]

This guy's on a motorcycle with his.

[Brady]

Oh, he's got his dog. Just jumps off the bike and starts running.

[Toledo]

Is that real?

[Diane]

Yeah, he's out running.

[Brady]

It's a greyhound or a whippet.

[Adam Ray]

And I don't know, it might work.

[Brady]

It doesn't even look real. Yeah, the jumps are fake.

[Larry]

No, that's.

[Brady]

Come on. No, watch.

[Larry]

No, he's gonna fly at the end.

[Brady]

I'm sure he's got his cape on already.

[Toledo]

Just sprints across the farmland.

[Brady]

I need a speed on this for a little while. Those jumps look pretty f. You know, that's probably rolling.

[Toledo]

25, 30.

[Adam Ray]

Ah, that's real.

[Diane]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

Jumps out of it. Boom.

[Larry]

Not buying it.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. On second side that.

[Larry]

Look at the dust behind two stills.

[Adam Ray]

And then started running real.

[Larry]

And the dust is perfectly shaped, too.

[Brady]

When he's running, let Brady have this one. So then later we can say, oh, yeah, yeah, Brady. That's when the vagina falls out. He's like, that's not real. That might have some components of real.

[Adam Ray]

So that's like a border collie.

[Brady]

No, it's a whippet. It's an Ashley whippet. Oh, there it is.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, See, look the way Nancy had.

[Larry]

Those whipets are awesome.

[Brady]

They're very fast too, but real nice. Okay, why you want that to be real so bad?

[Toledo]

Another guy hot dogging on a motorcycle. I call this the ricochet.

[Larry]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

All right, he's driving down the road.

[Toledo]

There's a wheelie.

[Brady]

Wheelie. And he's going way too fast. And wheelie on an empty road, though, until now, a guy just pulls out in front of him, has ended him.

[Adam Ray]

Why do you. You don't finish the ending there.

[Larry]

That's the.

[Brady]

Yeah. Why do you stop filming there? Yeah. Right before the thing ends him.

[Larry]

I know you want to hear.

[Toledo]

Damn.

[Brady]

As you know that area that was watching, we saw the people watching. The reaction was going to be great. Oh, y'all see that.

[Toledo]

Last was a little gymnastics guy in the parallel bar.

[Brady]

Does he break anything? Oh, he goes off. Oh, he tries to flip over the parallel bar and then lands it on his back.

[Larry]

And the sleeper, he'll be dating Natalia Grace very shortly.

[Brady]

He's definitely gonna need. In the future, his wife and him are going to have a lot of conversations because the bottom half of them doesn't work. All right, Brett, go. All right. Those were kind of tame easy videos right there. Visit homework's morning sickness [e-mail] hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else. Well, first of all, we've been in valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies. So that we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com It's Dick Toledo with new customers.

[Adam Ray]

Right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first five dollar wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning five dollar bet. And prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only five dollars. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to 533-42-HOMBERG'S morning sickness.

[Larry]

All right, let's start with this one.

[Toledo]

See some of your fake videos.

[Brady]

Okay, Here you go. I don't know why it's a battle for you.

[Larry]

I'm not even gonna say anything on this one.

[Brady]

None of them are fake, though. This is the sad part. Oh, it's a guy taking a knife to a scrotum. Oh, now he's. What's he pouring beer on it? Yeah, he's opening up for his disinfectant. Oh, oh, he's taking a steak knife to his balls. It's his balls and it's.

[Toledo]

Oh, oh, he's taking one out.

[Brady]

Removing a testicle with a steak knife and some sort of field. And then a guy pours beer on the hole, and he seems, like, fine with it. Oh, my God.

[Adam Ray]

That's the kind of friendship I don't want.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Larry]

I wish it was.

[Brady]

I wish it was, too. Fortunately, I think that's very real.

[Toledo]

So worth going viral.

[Larry]

Oh, Brady wanted. Somebody wanted me to send this. I know how much Brady likes breastfeeding videos. There you go, buddy. This one's for you. How'd you see this one?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

All right, you've probably already said, listen, it's a little capuchin. Wild America, wild world monkey breastfeeding on another one. And.

[Larry]

And there's not much happening.

[Brady]

You actually saw that? You.

[Toledo]

No, I saw. I mean, he sent it to all of us.

[Brady]

Oh, okay. I didn't see that.

[Larry]

All right, let's get back to the real stuff here.

[Brady]

Yeah, the real stuff. You got to have human, not primate breastfeeding. Brady's not an artist tonight. And make sure the lady's not too fat. He's.

[Larry]

How about this one?

[Brady]

Oh, what's that? It's a crippled girl who looks like the lamp from Pixar. And she's got a big. She's got great cans.

[Adam Ray]

One leg. Oh, no, she got two.

[Brady]

No, she's. But the other one ain't right.

[Larry]

One's like a hand.

[Brady]

Yeah, one is a normal leg, and the other one is like. Yeah, like an Arm. Look at that leg. Pause it right there. So she's. She's leaning it on her hot friend's knee, and then their hot friends tossing her in the pool. She has no arms. One good leg, and then, like, a stick leg. And she looks like the Pixar lamp. We don't see how that ends either.

[Larry]

Hopefully the bobber can swim.

[Brady]

That can't be good.

[Toledo]

Yeah, you would have been upset at me if I put that one.

[Brady]

That's a murder. No, that's pretty reviews that says I passed on beyond freak show. Oh, yeah, and you gave us the dog running down the field instead. All right, how about breaking on? Start bragging about her choices.

[Larry]

How about break dancing with a train?

[Brady]

Oh, oh, guys doing the worm. He's got his head on the train track. I thought he was gonna pull away.

[Toledo]

How would you kick off your shoes?

[Brady]

He puts his head on the train track right before.

[Toledo]

Oh, he's doing it on purpose. I know.

[Brady]

What. What sort of analysis was that?

[Toledo]

He wasn't trying to fix the tracks.

[Brady]

Of course.

[Toledo]

He dropped his iPhone.

[Brady]

I'm turning his mic off today. He dropped his iPhone slowly and then wormed to it and then got sleepy. He did that on purpose? Brady said, you know. You mean he rested his head on the rails five feet from when the train went by on purpose? All right, how about nothing about that looked accidentally. He crawled to his destination.

[Larry]

How about a guy slashing his own throat?

[Brady]

No, no. Oh, it's an open throat. I don't want to see this. Why did he do this? I don't know. Why is he filming it? He missed, by the way. It's not gushing like it's supposed to. He didn't. He didn't hit the. He didn't hit the main jugular. He's just bleeding. It's low end on the throat. It's. He made a smile on his neck. Why is that a thing? Make this video end. He's gonna do more, isn't he? That's another person pointing at it. Oh, no, that's the hand. I thought that was a thumb.

[Larry]

No, that's a razor blade.

[Brady]

Oh, don't. Don't. Stop it. Okay, Brett, stop. That's enough.

[Toledo]

He did that on purpose.

[Brady]

I can't. I can't. All right, all right, all right.

[Larry]

Let me cleanse your palate with this. This is for Brady. We'll close out with this.

[Brady]

God, what is going on out there? I can't make out what this is. Somebody.

[Larry]

Street side rose bus.

[Brady]

Oh, it's somebody's butthole. Hanging out. Just standing on the side of the road with their butthole hanging out. Whoa. That's a rosebud in a rosebud.

[Larry]

I didn't know.

[Toledo]

It was like a baby elephant.

[Brady]

Look at that again.

[Adam Ray]

She had two.

[Brady]

That was the rose doubled into a second rosebud. Oh, wow. See, it's a double bubble.

[Adam Ray]

Don't use that.

[Brady]

And it's a double bubble. And people are just sitting on the side of the road dropping double bubbles.

[Adam Ray]

Well, there goes that gum.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Toledo]

Another fake one.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Larry]

We can watch the throat slashing again if you want.

[Toledo]

No.

[Brady]

Yikes. There is a. An awful lot of people whose buttholes are out of their bodies. And that's on film.

[Adam Ray]

Think of.

[Brady]

Think of how many are on film. And we never see.

[Adam Ray]

It's the same people twice, up our estimate. Because it's.

[Brady]

It's a lot higher than it used to be. Because the people who aren't filming it and it's happening. Like we see all the ones that are video recorded. Yeah, right.

[Adam Ray]

The ones that film it have one too. Like they're.

[Brady]

Huh. Oh.

[Adam Ray]

If you're community, trade off their community.

[Brady]

Nobody in a room unsurprised by a rosebud has not had their own rosebud.

[Adam Ray]

Okay. That's kind of what I was thinking.

[Brady]

That's an SAT question. Yes, there is. There's nobody in the room watching a rosebud going, what's that? They all know. But think about all the times that.

[Toledo]

It'S not known about a rosebud.

[Adam Ray]

About a year when I said, oh, no, it was when they were like that.

[Brady]

I didn't know that that's what they looked like. I didn't know what they looked like. But there was a Jacques at Tony Roma's had brought up the rosebud.

[Toledo]

Stop it.

[Adam Ray]

You've known it for 20 years.

[Brady]

Didn't know what it was. 30. Didn't know what it was, though. And he didn't get in detail. So he said something. I thought it was a gay term. And then years later, when the. Brandon Lee was here from Channel 3 and said Rosebud, and I think I was like, that's a. That's a. That's a thing in the community. And he goes, oh, yeah. Because that's like a goal for some guys to make one.

[Diane]

What?

[Brady]

Well, yeah, because that means you've. You turned a man inside out.

[Adam Ray]

Good God.

[Brady]

And that was the wizard sleeve from Borat. That's why he's talking about the wizard sleeve coming out. And I always thought that Was just like hilarious to. It's real. So rosebuds are. But think about it now. People are unafraid to put it on film. We have not seen the same person twice. Which Hundreds of them. Oh, yeah. So I think you're right. I think we need to have like a percentage of rosebuds that have happened in the Phoenix area. Five million plus people. I'm gonna say there's been.

[Adam Ray]

I'll go 30%. Bob. I go three out of three.

[Brady]

That's probably about right.

[Toledo]

Send bread. Local rosebud.

[Brady]

That's a million and a half people. I'll go with that. About a million.

[Larry]

I will show it to you too. So don't even.

[Diane]

Yeah.

[Larry]

You can send it all you want, But I will show it right over to you.

[Brady]

Million. Three to a million. Five rosebuds in the town of living Phoenicians.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Currently walking around with us. Have within the last 48 hours. Had to push it back in.

[Toledo]

How many?

[Brady]

I'm gonna say there's a million.

[Larry]

I could say I'm.

[Brady]

Which noobs? Brady. There's a lot of gays.

[Adam Ray]

You want to deny it?

[Brady]

There's a lot of. There's a lot of drug activity in this town. That means there's a lot of ass play. There's five and a half million citizens.

[Toledo]

Yeah. And you're saying the gay population is what I think it's not all gay.

[Brady]

A lot of straight people that go.

[Adam Ray]

To your swingers in Gilbert.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. It's happening. It's happening in your neighborhood A lot more than you want to admit.

[Adam Ray]

There's some dirty play.

[Brady]

There's a reason why a lot of them seems high. A lot of those ladies. And a lot of those ladies in Gilbert wear tight pants for a reason. That's to keep it home. You would put a dress on. And that thing's coming out. Right.

[Adam Ray]

You put plus 40 on that too.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Where it's got a little wear and tear. A little easier to rip it out. I'll say somewhere. I'll go 900,000 to a million three. All right. Maybe 40 hours in the last week have had to push it back in.

[Adam Ray]

That's a fear of mine now.

[Brady]

It is from this show of yours falling out.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Wow. What are you doing? No, that's. I'm gonna shut him off for a second. I have no fear of that happening. I just want to make that proclamation.

[Diane]

Real quick with you.

[Brady]

Yeah. Brady can also say no fear of it now.

[Larry]

Me neither.

[Brady]

Could it happen. That's what I'm Saying, yes, it could. Do I fear it happening? The odds are slim. Very slim. In order for me to fear it, I'd have to tempt it. I'm not doing that.

[Toledo]

Get a Hemi.

[Adam Ray]

And that's what you know about.

[Brady]

I'm going to turn them off again. It would be a complete surprise if it did happen, which means I haven't spent any time fearing it. I think Brett's with me on that.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Interesting. Interesting. Fear. I'm afraid of needles. Toledo's afraid that his entire anus is going to tumble out for some reason at any given time.

[Adam Ray]

Whatever the reason, it's a fear.

[Brady]

It's unreasonable.

[Toledo]

What's the number?

[Brady]

Unless something you're doing that you're not talking about.

[Adam Ray]

Well, Lisa likes to.

[Brady]

Does she?

[Adam Ray]

No.

[Brady]

Let me just clear that back to what Toledo said before he went crazy. Post 40. Ladies, gentlemen. And you've been dabbling around back there. That thing gets a little bit, you know, the structural integrity. Structural integrity starts to kind of be compromised. Boy, oh, boy.

[Adam Ray]

Check in with Adam, Ray.

[Brady]

About a million. Adam's gonna be here, right? Yeah. A million. I'd say a million in our city in the last week have gone, oops, bloop.

[Toledo]

Had to put how many in the building.

[Brady]

Now, I'm not saying. Hold on, hold on. Shut up. It's not a beehive.

[Toledo]

Okay, okay.

[Brady]

Rosebuds can be like a. Oh, my.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I thought you meant like beehive.

[Brady]

Beehive is a much less percentage. But the. That's too much.

[Toledo]

The potential of the bud. The actual.

[Brady]

The rosebud. Yeah, that is a full on beehive. That comes out of something breaching the crest.

[Toledo]

Yeah, right?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Bloop too hard, plop it back in.

[Adam Ray]

No, no, no.

[Brady]

Not for pooping. You always want to make it natural. None of it's natural. You can push too hard all you want.

[Adam Ray]

I think that's how it's.

[Toledo]

Isn't that how it's created?

[Adam Ray]

That's how it starts.

[Larry]

Is that what you're going with?

[Brady]

Exactly. Thank you, Brett. You have to be doing more than just that.

[Adam Ray]

I know.

[Brady]

If you. If you combine the two activities.

[Toledo]

If you're stretching.

[Adam Ray]

There you go.

[Brady]

If you're pushing and pulling at night and then the next morning you're like. And by the way, if you're pushing too hard, you're probably not putting things in there because you still got kind of a tightness.

[Adam Ray]

The finger cuff won't let go.

[Larry]

It was said a healthy fear for those who go to see their landlord at 4am That's TR.

[Brady]

Jesse says it's for people who can't hold their poop. I'm convinced. People who say, oh, you can't hold it. When you got to go, you got to go. They've had rosebuds. They've abused their bottoms. Yeah. I have no fear of. I can clinch it up. I can hold things in there. It's a vice grip. You start kind of messing with that, you know, you put the key in the lock too often. Eventually the tumbler stopped working.

[Adam Ray]

I agree there.

[Brady]

All I'm saying. A million. It's a good number. A million.

[Larry]

Scary.

[Brady]

It is scary. And we've seen about 800, 000 of them. I think so, too. It's horrible. It's a daily activity.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Adam Ray is going to be here for no reason at all. He's just in town, right?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, they're here.

[Brady]

They're here already. Oh, we'll talk to Adam.

[Adam Ray]

He's two weeks performing next week.

[Brady]

Yeah, we'll talk to Adam. Adam Ray's gonna join us just for no reason at all. Coming up next. It's 98. It's out of control now. Day.