01-16-26 - BR - FRI - Fun Facts And Rules For Wearing A Postal Service Uniform - Sci News On Sick Astronauts And Substance Of Uranus

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 01-16-26 – BR – FRI – Fun Facts And Rules For Wearing A Postal Service Uniform – Sci News On Sick Astronauts And Substance Of Uranus
Date: January 16, 2026
Hosts/Participants: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Overview

On this fast-paced and irreverent Friday episode, the crew covers a buffet of offbeat news, quirky fun facts, trending adulting hacks, and science weirdness. Listeners are treated to the team’s signature mix of dark humor, bad puns, and pop-culture ribbing as they weave between topics like the legality of postal uniforms, NASA's mysterious astronaut illness, advances in spray-on medicine, and inappropriate uses of AI. The show wraps with the infamous “Brady videos,” featuring a string of wild, often shocking, viral clips with the crew’s unfiltered commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. National Nothing Day and The Philosophy of Doing “Nothing”

[02:01–03:15]

• The morning kicks off with banter about “National Nothing Day,” with the hosts joking about celebrating “doing nothing” and the paradox of having activities for such a day:
  • Brady: “I'm excellent [at doing nothing]. I might be the Michael Jordan of that.” (02:40)
  • They riff on the philosophical conundrum: “If you're enjoying doing nothing, you're actually doing something.”

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2. Fun Facts—Postal Uniform Laws & Instant Coffee Origins

[03:15–04:35]

• Fun trivia: Instant coffee was invented by a George Washington (not that one).
• A federal crime: Wearing a USPS uniform if not a postal worker (exemptions for acting roles).
  • Co-host: “Halloween party costume isn't good enough of an excuse.” (03:44)
  • Brady: “If I wandered around today dressed up like a mailman, I could go to jail.” (03:57)
  • The crew debates if social media or YouTube bits would count as acting.

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3. Admin Nights: The Rise of ‘Communal Adulting’

[05:05–06:29]

• A growing trend: Getting together to pay bills, do taxes, and work on resumes at “admin nights.”
  • Brady: “It’s communal adulting…have a little party out of bill paying?” (05:30)
• They joke about embracing AI and ChatGPT for taxes:
  • Brady: “I think I'm going to start my world of AI embracing with my own taxes.” (06:03)
  • Host: “You'll see when I'm in jail by April 17th. Brett keeps shaking his head.” (06:29)

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4. AI vs. Human Experts: A Legal Anecdote

[07:21–08:19]

• Brady recounts a friend using ChatGPT for legal advice before seeing a real lawyer.
  • Brady: “It walked me through an awful lot…then when I went to the lawyers, I could ask all the right questions.” (07:42)
• Discussion of online IRS tips—debate over trusting AI for taxes:
  • Brady: “That's like letting the boxing opponent tell you which jabs to throw.” (08:13)

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5. Weird News Roundup

[08:35–09:42]

• Car Crashes Into House: 70-year-old wakes to a car landing on him; asks ambulance to stop for snacks (08:51).
• Mobile Home Safety: Crew joke about only living in cul-de-sacs to avoid such accidents.

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6. Science News: Sick Astronauts & NASA Conspiracies

[09:42–11:27]

• Astronauts return to Earth after a medical emergency aboard the International Space Station.
  • Brady (speculating): “This is an STD…They started boning in the space station. One of them had found out. Everyone’s got a rash.” (10:00)
  • They riff on the absurdity of giving away a symbolic “key” to the ISS.
• Jokes about “space AIDS” and fears of bringing an unknown space virus to Earth.
  • Brady: “They're coming back to investigate whatever space AIDS they’ve got, and it’s gonna get loose, and then Dustin Hoffman’s gonna be in the city in a big white suit.” (11:06)

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7. AI News & Gemini’s ‘Personal Intelligence’

[11:33–12:28]

• Google's Gemini connects to other Google apps to offer “personal intelligence.”
• They illustrate an example of AI recommending tires after checking the user’s road-trip photos.
  • Brady: “Gemini knew that. That’s a lot.” (12:10)
  • Joke: Mispronouncing “Google Labs” as “Google Lads.”

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8. Medical Tech: Miracle Spray and Menstruation Banter

[12:30–14:31]

• South Korean scientists invent a spray-on powder to seal wounds in 1 second.
• The hosts go wildly off-topic, joking (and grossing each other out) about using the spray to “seal up” women’s periods.
  • Classic, boundary-pushing, and deeply unserious HMS humor.
  • Brady: “You could use that every 28 days. Lock it up.” (12:47)

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• Debate mechanics of hypothetical menstrual solutions in detail, causing groans and laughs.

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9. The Reliability of AI-Generated News

[14:31–14:53]

• Experiment: A professor got news only from AI for a month—fully accurate only 47% of the time, partially accurate 45%, rest “total BS.”
  • Brady: “Better than our normal stuff.” (14:53)

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10. Space Science: What’s Inside Uranus?

[15:02–15:36]

• Scientists discover Uranus contains a strange state of matter, both solid and liquid.
• Predictably, the crew leans into the “Uranus” puns and dirty jokes.
  • Brady: “If you say creamy nougat, I'm gonna kick you out.” (15:14)

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• Group tease for making this joke especially on Fridays.

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11. Longevity Study: The Castration Connection

[15:40–16:10]

• Study finds castration (of males) increases lifespan.
  • Brady: “Your balls don’t make bad decisions.” (15:55)
  • He jokes about sitting discomfort and not needing “them” anymore.

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12. Odd News: Emergency Calls & Ice Fishing Fights

[16:28–18:57]

• Colorado man arrested for calling 911 over 150 times in a week—James Taylor jokes ensue (16:46).
• Canadian man attacks a fellow ice-fisher for “fishing too close to me” — Grumpy Old Men references abound (17:34).
  • Brady: “I do want to try ice fishing because the isolation of that little cabin…I think it looks great.” (18:13)
• They reminisce about traditional and modern fishing cabins, streaming Netflix by the ice.

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13. Celebrity Scandal: Kyrsten Sinema’s Lawsuit

[19:08–22:25]

• News discussion: former AZ Senator Kyrsten Sinema sued by her bodyguard’s wife for “alienation of affection” in a state where it’s allowed.
• Hosts explore Sinema’s public image, sexuality, and campaign marketing, ribbing on her “lady licking” reputation.
  • Brady: “She was like a big…like, I'm a pig, I love licking the ladies. I'm a big lady licker.” (19:32)
  • Series of jokes about her “crossing over” and male/female public perception.

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• Extended riffing on the politics of seduction lawsuits, Sinema’s style and the legality of such suits.

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14. The Infamous Brady Videos: Viral Clips and the Crew’s Play-by-Play

[24:00–34:58]

• Viral “Frog Kebab” Video: Asian street food—skewered frogs, crew recoils and makes Kermit jokes.
  • Brady (as Kermit): “Hey, ho, everybody. Kermit the frog here.” (25:33)
• Street Fight Analysis: Man and woman in bareknuckle brawl; hosts provide boxing-style play-by-play and critique technique.
  • “She’s got a Jerry Cooney chin. She takes a punch, though. I could watch this for hours.” (27:39)
• Student Snorts Condom (via nose, out mouth).
  • “She just snorted a magnum through her nose.” (29:15)
  • Crew debates who would have the skill, jokes about future prospects.
• A Series of Extreme Fetish Videos:
  • Giant woman sits on man’s face; discussion on the logistics and safety hazards.
  • “Hands behind her head in a very comfortable position, although her eyes are telling me she's not a big fan of this.” (32:01)
  • Woman pushes balls and sporting goods (incl. Nerf football) from her body—calling out the “real football” quality.
  • Brady: “I’m not even sure that’s a junior football. She likes sports.” (33:39)
  • “Jelly donut” fetish video with explicit, graphic descriptions.
• Throughout, the team is both grossed out and gleefully analytical, injecting pop-culture references (Kermit, Bullwinkle, Bullwinkle) and plenty of sarcastic color commentary.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On “Nothing Day” Philosophy:
  • “If you're enjoying doing nothing, you're actually doing something.” – Brady (02:54)
• On the USPS Uniform Law:
  • “If I wandered around today dressed up like a mailman, I could go to jail.” – Brady (03:57)
• On Embracing AI for Taxes:
  • “I'm going to start my world of AI embracing with my own taxes.” – Brady (06:03)
• On NASA’s Sick Astronauts:
  • “They’re coming back to investigate whatever space AIDS they've got, and it's gonna get loose, and then Dustin Hoffman's gonna be in the city in a big white suit.” – Brady (11:06)
• On Medical Spray-Invention:
  • “You could use that every 28 days. Lock it up.” – Brady, riffing on period management (12:47)
• On Castration and Longevity:
  • “Your balls don't make bad decisions.” – Brady (15:55)

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Segment Highlights / Timestamps

| Time | Segment | Key Points/Comments | |-----------|-----------------------------------------|-------------------------------------------------| | 02:01–03:15 | National Nothing Day Banter | The art of “doing nothing” | | 03:15–04:35 | Fun Facts (Postal Uniform Law) | Legal risks of postal cosplay | | 05:05–06:29 | Admin Nights Trend & AI for Taxes | Adulting parties and automation anxiety | | 07:21–08:19 | AI for Legal Help | ChatGPT as legal consultant | | 08:35–09:42 | Odd News (Car Crash) | Car lands on sleeping man, asks for snacks | | 09:42–11:27 | Science News: Sick Astronauts | NASA secrecy, wild STD speculation | | 11:33–12:28 | AI News: Google Gemini | Personal connections advance | | 12:30–14:31 | Spray-On Bandage & Menstruation Jokes | Ridiculous theoretical applications | | 14:31–14:53 | AI News Reliability | Only 47% “fully accurate” | | 15:02–15:36 | Space Science: Uranus | Puns galore | | 15:40–16:10 | Longevity Study (Castration) | Testosterone, calm, and “cutting them off” | | 16:28–18:57 | Ice Fishing Fight | Grumpy Old Men references, ice fishing pros | | 19:08–22:25 | Kyrsten Sinema Lawsuit Discussion | AZ scandal, sexuality, political image | | 24:00–34:58 | The Brady Videos (Reaction Commentary) | Extreme viral clips, play-by-play, gross-out |

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Tone and Style

The episode is consistently unfiltered, playful, and boundary-pushing, blending blue-collar observational humor with fast-paced banter and inside jokes. The crew aren’t shy about delving into taboo, gross-out, or darkly comic territory, but always keep the energy high and the camaraderie clear.

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For those new to “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness,” this episode is a wild sampler platter: equal parts quirky factoid, opinionated news commentary, absurdist speculation, and gonzo viral video breakdown—delivered with Arizona’s most unapologetic morning crew’s signature style.

Transcript

[Host]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady]

I love that one. 32 years old, too. How about that? Corrosion of Conformity. Do my little John math. Listening to that song today is the equivalent of listening to something from 1962 when that song came out. Enjoy your liver spots for breakfast. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news. And yes, I've gotten several emails that I have to. I have to say, I do enjoy reading them, but it is not right. Brian Walborn, who wrote simply the words yes, followed by three exclamation points, Never stop killing that baby. Thirty years on the air, I've never once read that phrase. But this one's for you, kid. There you go. We got him again. All right, it's time for break. It was. I'm so proud of that one this morning.

[Host]

Gonna be off all next week at this rate. You know what? Not just Monday.

[Brady]

It's a nice thing. It's a very funny moment. I enjoyed the hell out of it. I like dark humor. Sue me. You might. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news. Only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by all Pro shade. 80 degrees yesterday, 80 again today. It's beautiful outside. It's perfect sitting outside weather. But you don't need that sun glaring in your eyes. So you get all Pro Shade out there to build you a nice little area in your backyard. Your front yard. Any spot you got that needs awnings, shades, blinds, those blockers. It's. They got it all. And they can figure out your space, and they'll do a beautiful job and make it like they're doing an addition to your home. They've been at this for over 20 years for a reason. If you've got that area in your backyard does you no harm going. You know what? Let's beautify this sucker. All Pro shade dot com. That's where you go. Brady reported.

[Co-host]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it. Yeah.

[Brady]

Hi.

[Co-host]

Happy National Nothing Day.

[Brady]

I'm into that. Does that mean there's nothing to celebrate or. We're celebrating nothing?

[Co-host]

They're saying it's a day to do nothing.

[Brady]

Okay. So you're celebrating nothingness.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Not that you are not celebrating anything. So your celebration is absolute nothing. Laziness, Nothing.

[Co-host]

Sedentary behavior basically accomplishes nothing.

[Brady]

Not Nihilism Day, where everything means nothing.

[Co-host]

Yeah. Literally spend the day doing Absolutely nothing and loving it.

[Brady]

Yeah, okay. I'm great at that. I'm excellent. I might be the best in the world. I might be the Michael Jordan of that.

[Co-host]

But then they suggested things to do.

[Brady]

Aren't you doing something to do nothing? Yeah, that's where the. That's where the real.

[Co-host]

Because you're still doing something.

[Brady]

Quantum meta kind of thing comes from that. It's like, if you're not doing anything and you're enjoying it, you're actually doing something.

[Co-host]

Or, like, go get your palm read.

[Brady]

That's not nothing. That's actually still doing something. Getting your palm read. Stare at a wall. You're still doing something. But I mean, literally do nothing.

[Co-host]

Couple of basic fun facts. Instant coffee was invented by a guy named George Washington. He came to America for Belgium in the late 1800s. Started manufacturing instant coffee in 1910. It's a federal crime for someone who's not a postal worker to wear a US Postal Service uniform. Unless you're acting in a play, a TV show or movie.

[Brady]

Halloween.

[Co-host]

Halloween party costume isn't good enough of.

[Brady]

An excuse because you could technically go through people's mailboxes and no one would know. Right.

[Co-host]

You can get a fine or six.

[Brady]

Months in prison wearing the uniform.

[Co-host]

Yep.

[Brady]

You have to be careful. So if I wandered around today dressed up like a mailman, I could go to jail. Meanwhile, I wonder if you would.

[Co-host]

If you went around.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Dressed up as a mailman and someone's filming you. Wow. You're an actor.

[Brady]

The other person, right? Oh, yeah. Technically, yeah. I thought you meant, like, somebody in their house was filming. They're the ones breaking the law.

[Co-host]

Unless you're acting in a play, a TV show, or a movie. So the. So would that include social media?

[Brady]

Yes. Now that is a. Yeah, you could argue that. I was doing a bit.

[Host]

You're paying tribute to Cliff Clavin.

[Brady]

That's right. That's right. But I would like to see the person.

[Co-host]

So let me understand this. You were dressed up as a postal service man shooting babies?

[Brady]

No, no, I wasn't. I was in a. I was in a play. No, no, I, I. You're right. I should be fine. For the postal service, the baby shooting was a necessity as Brady stole $50. The baby, it had to go. It was for the best. I'm gonna listen to that again. I never listen to the show. I'm gonna. Really.

[Co-host]

If you haven't heard about this trend yet. Admin nights. Admin.

[Brady]

Admin. Like administrative night.

[Co-host]

Yes. Your friends show up with bills that need to be Paid taxes that need to be done or job resumes that need to be worked on. You all get together at a coffee shop.

[Brady]

Little communal.

[Co-host]

Someone's home for pizza and drinks.

[Brady]

It's communal adulting. Yeah, you just go be adults for a day and have a little party. Out of bill paying?

[Co-host]

It's not a new idea. It started gaining traction last year after the Wall Street Journal did a big story on it.

[Brady]

Nobody pays bills like that anymore. It's all online most of the time, so you couldn't really have a bill. He's like, taxes. That makes some sense. I'm gonna try it this year. I'm gonna do them myself.

[Co-host]

Turbo. You're gonna be Turbo Man?

[Brady]

I don't know. I'm gonna ask AI. I'm gonna. I'm embracing AI.

[Co-host]

Well, I think it's real. It's still pretty simple.

[Brady]

Don't know. It hasn't been too simple the last few years. And my guy's retired. Brett and I went to the same dude, Stephen. He's retired. And so I've gotten suggestions from other friends, and I've thought about it, and I'm like, you know what I'll take. I'm going to try it this year. I think I'm going to start my world of AI embracing with my own taxes. I think it can do it for me. Or at least walk me through.

[Guest]

Right.

[Brady]

Plus, worst case scenario, just the same way I got out of high school and a lot of college classes, I just find the same I did this last year. Right? It's the same papers.

[Co-host]

Yeah, just copy and paste.

[Brady]

I had pretty much a carbon copy year. I think I can do this. I'm almost positive I can't. And if not, the IRS will call me and go, what were you thinking? I'm like, I don't know. How much do I owe? And they'll hit me and I'll pay the fine, and the next year I'll do something else. But I'm pretty sure I can do this because I'm. It's. I'm going to do it. AI and I are going to. You'll see when I'm in jail next. By April 17th. Brett keeps shaking his head.

[Host]

It wasn't for shooting either.

[Brady]

You think I'm crazy, but I think this is. I think this is the future. And it's time to eliminate the people that say they're going to lose their jobs. I want to be first. Online lawyers, you know, sort of doctors and accountants. I can do this now. I just. I told you I had A friend who had a legal question and he's asking me stuff. He goes, did you have a lawyer for this? That? And I'm like, you know, have you tried chatgpt yet? And he goes, no, I haven't. I'm like, I had a legal issue last year and it walked me through an awful lot. And then when I went to the lawyers, I could ask all the right questions. And I'm like, it. And he tried it and he goes, I don't need a lawyer anymore. I found something. I'm like, there you go.

[Guest]

And about the irs, there's a number of different people on online that are telling you these are the prompts you need to use if you're going to try and have ChatGPT go over your taxes.

[Brady]

Okay, fantastic.

[Guest]

It starts here and it goes through all of your stuff.

[Brady]

I don't trust the irs. That's who I'm fighting against for this.

[Guest]

It's like asking your opponent from the irs the chat. These are the prompts you give chat GPT to give all your.

[Brady]

Oh, I thought the IRS was telling me what to put in. I'm like, no, no, no, no. That's like letting the boxing opponent tell you which jabs to throw. Like, you only hit me from here down. Like, okay, no, no, irs. I don't listen to you. During tax time, we're enemies.

[Co-host]

This dude that lives in the town of Rutland, New York is lucky to be alive. He fell asleep in his living room. 70 year old skip Cunningham was asleep in the living room. And midnight, crashing through a window comes a car. And he wakes up and the car is on top of him.

[Additional Guest]

Whoa.

[Co-host]

He fell asleep on a sofa.

[Brady]

Car's rolling.

[Co-host]

Guy gets out of the car and he's running around all panic. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's like, well, call 91 1.

[Brady]

Yeah, you ran over my house.

[Co-host]

So he calls 91 1. And Skip, on the way there, asks the ambulance drivers if they could stop by the convenience store.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

So he get a snack on the way there.

[Brady]

Sure.

[Co-host]

But minor injuries. He's out.

[Brady]

Just landed.

[Co-host]

Cars trashed. I mean the. Yeah. Car is trashed and his car is. Houses.

[Brady]

Oh, it's. Yeah. Damage. Yeah. Carson. Houses don't usually meet each other very cleanly.

[Host]

They don't build mobile homes like they used to.

[Brady]

No, they don't. I'll never not live in a cul de sac. The odds of somebody blazing through and smashing into me is limited.

[Co-host]

And now it's time for some science news. Hello, My friends, Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. The four astronauts. Astronauts from the space station splashed down near San Diego yesterday morning.

[Brady]

I'm right about this. This is an std.

[Co-host]

Medical emergency. Yeah. They're not saying.

[Brady]

They won't say any. So it's an std. So they got social up there. They started boning in the space station. One of them had found out. The other ones were worried. None of everybody's got a rash.

[Co-host]

NASA shared a video of the crew handing over a key to the space station to the new commander. But they really don't use keys up there.

[Brady]

I was going to say they don't have my cue.

[Co-host]

Just a symbolic key.

[Brady]

I get into my house without a cat.

[Guest]

They had like an.

[Brady]

It's like a skeleton.

[Co-host]

Yeah. So they do a symbolic key, handing it over.

[Brady]

Stupid.

[Co-host]

That is dumb.

[Guest]

That's performative.

[Brady]

And don't touch those keys either, because the guys leave and have warts. You don't. There. Something's terrible going on that they won't even say. Like, they didn't even say what. And why are you bringing them back to Earth? If it's a virus or something, Leave them up there.

[Guest]

Did you see? All of our listeners are like. They're bringing back the alien planet.

[Co-host]

Right.

[Brady]

The two healthy ones should come back and the sick ones should have stayed up there. And we. And then we fire up some medicine. It's your own fault for being in space if you get sick up there. That's. That's the cost of doing business if you didn't have the right medicine. They've got warts, Shami.

[Guest]

They've got the space crazies.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They have a social disease because why bring four back and it's not passing through them? They wouldn't bring them back if it was just like something that was gonna easily cure itself. They're coming back to investigate whatever space AIDS they've got, and it's gonna get loose. And then Dustin Hoffman's gonna be in the city in a big white suit. We'll all wonder what happened.

[Guest]

Space AIDS band name?

[Co-host]

No, no, it's weird.

[Brady]

Album name maybe.

[Co-host]

AI News. Google announced Gemini can now talk to other Google apps like Gmail, YouTube, Google Photos, and use that info to answer questions. It's a new feature called personal intelligence. The VP of Google Labs says he used it last month at a tire shop. He asked Gemini what size tires he needed and gave him the correct size. Then it suggested all weather tires because based on his photos, he knows he goes on road trips in Oak To Oklahoma. A lot.

[Brady]

Gemini knew that.

[Co-host]

Yep.

[Brady]

That's a lot.

[Co-host]

What? 98?

[Brady]

No way. Holmberg's morning sickness. I like how you say Google Labs, by the way. It sounds like Google Labs.

[Co-host]

Google Labs.

[Brady]

Like you've got your computer. Your computer.

[Co-host]

Six pack Band Aid News. A team of scientists in South Korea came up with a spray on powder that seals wounds and stops bleeding in one second.

[Brady]

Like, how big are the wounds?

[Co-host]

Sealed.

[Brady]

Women. You could use that every 28 days. Lock it up. Then it all collects behind the gate. And then you take an exacto knife and you cut the powdery band aid off and it falls all out in one day. Your period's over. You don't make messes anymore. I wonder if they would be up for that.

[Host]

What? Blocking it up in there.

[Brady]

Sealing it with a Japanese spray.

[Co-host]

South Korea.

[Brady]

Come on.

[Host]

Just like some flex seal you just throw in there.

[Brady]

Yeah. And then it creates a barrier, like a Band Aid, only it's really good. And it locks that hole up.

[Co-host]

You're building up that. That flow has to come out.

[Brady]

No, it doesn't. It waits. And then. And then you cut it open. Like. Like a cow abscess.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And it falls out in one chunk.

[Co-host]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

That's safer.

[Host]

Still ruin vacations, though.

[Brady]

Oh, well, the period. You can't get rid of that. Well, you can. They're just not willing to get the hysterectomy. But the. They just sit over the can and like, you know, like you're gutting a salmon. Open it up, it all tumbles out. And then it. Flush it. And there's no need for hygiene. I bet you women would be for that. Because I wouldn't like that. That, to me, is a terrible thing they have to go through with all the extra carrying stuff and putting it in, taking it out, throwing it out. We get to see it sometimes. Disgusting. And then. But if you just had it, like, it would look like when there's a leak in your ceiling and the paint droops, you know, the paint gets wet and then you gotta cut it and the water falls out. It all goes back to normal. Those South Koreans should invent a little thing that kind of wipes it away and then it all tumbles out into the. Like a bunch of smashed tomatoes. I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

[Co-host]

The other thing happening in AI, this journalism professor in Canada got all his news from AI bots for a full month. And he says the news it fed him was fully accurate just 47% of the time. Partially accurate 45% of the time. And the other 8% was total BS. So.

[Brady]

Better than our normal stuff. Yeah.

[Co-host]

Scientists think they finally figured out something about the solar system in our planets, in our galaxy. They finally figured out what's inside Uranus.

[Brady]

All right, we're done with you. If you say creamy nougat, I'm gonna kick you out.

[Co-host]

They say you do this once a month.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Co-host]

They say it's a weird substance that both. That's both solid and liquid at the same time.

[Guest]

Space diarrhea. Go ahead.

[Co-host]

I'm not saying it.

[Host]

Four day work.

[Co-host]

Finally, there's a study.

[Brady]

It seems like he only does it on Fridays.

[Guest]

Oh, you nailed it.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a Friday thing. He goes to the Uranus jokes.

[Co-host]

There's a study that found that one thing that reliably makes men live longer. It applies to males of other species too. That one thing. Castration.

[Brady]

Well, actually the testosterone can be a little bit bad for you after a while. So they castrate you. Your balls don't make bad decisions.

[Co-host]

You live longer.

[Brady]

You live longer because you're calmer. Yeah, probably.

[Co-host]

That's your science news.

[Brady]

Look funny. Your body would look funny without like a set hanging down. I'm not against that idea. I'll cut these off. They're uncomfortable. I sit funny because of my balls. I don't need them anymore.

[Co-host]

Got a guy in Pueblo, Colorado. He's in trouble because he was calling the emergency dispatch line more than 150 times last week. 52 year old James Taylor.

[Host]

Favorite man.

[Brady]

It's a good night. Moonlight lady. The worst. Oh, Mexico.

[Co-host]

Here's what James Taylor looks like.

[Brady]

Well, there's also James Taylor from Cooling the Gang, right?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

James J.T.

[Brady]

Is this James J.T. taylor or no? Oh geez.

[Co-host]

It's a mountain man.

[Brady]

It's a guy from Kurt Russell mixed with William H. Macy. Yeah, yeah, from Shameless. That's the new James Taylor. I seen fire and I seen rain, but I ain't never seen a shower to get me clean.

[Co-host]

Lastly, we got a 72 year old guy in Canada facing charges after attacking someone on a frozen lake Wednesday afternoon. They were both ice fishing.

[Guest]

Grumpy old men.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's kind of. It's Walter Massau and Jack Lemmon again.

[Co-host]

And Michael Armstrong told the Mounties that he attacked the man because he was fishing too close to me.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's. You don't want people like if you're standing on the banks of a thing.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And a guy stands next to you like, well, you're this is where my.

[Co-host]

Fish are gonna be cutting my hole right here. What are you doing?

[Brady]

Yeah, like the fish. I want this space. You don't get a guy right next to you. Or you know what I bet you don't do either is two poles in one hole. Don't Google that.

[Co-host]

He just says he likes the space.

[Brady]

Right? But if we went ice fishing. That's why they make those little cabins individual. You know, the double thing. Some dude drilling another hole. Yeah, I don't. Morning, dickhead. I don't like fishing anymore. I liked it when I was a little kid. I don't feel the need for it. And it's kind of. It's. It's nice, but I don't really want to catch in filet, and so there's no point to it. Like. But I do want to try ice fishing because I think the isolation of that little cabin, I think it looks great. And especially now because there's, you know, Internet, and you can take a TV out there and watch a Netflix movie. Like, it's clean now. It used to be those old TVs.

[Co-host]

Good setups.

[Brady]

Yeah. The snowy TV and a generator. And I think you can do it now with just your phone or an iPad. Quiet. It sounds nice.

[Co-host]

I got a couple of Brady videos.

[Brady]

Before we get to that. Everybody's asking about if we know about Kyrsten Sinema, former Arizona politician Kristen Sinema, who, by the way, ran on, like, my brain just said something terrible. I can't say it, but it was licking and then a T word. That's what she was like. A big. Like, I'm a pig. I love licking the ladies. I'm a big lady licker. Like, all right, all right. Calm down. Remember her?

[Co-host]

Bye. I thought she was.

[Brady]

Yeah, but her commercials were all, like. She's the first one that's ever, like, licked ladies and admitted it. Like, she's talking about licking ladies. We didn't care that she had sex with dudes. She was really pandering to the idea that if there's a good lady to lick, she'll do it.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Like, she was big on it. She just got. She's getting sued by the wife of her bodyguard for banging him.

[Co-host]

They broke up. It broke up their marriage.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

So.

[Brady]

And she lives in another state, so in that state, you can sue the person that seduced your husband.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And she wants 75k. It's a pretty good chunk of chains. Not, you know, for. It makes it right that she lost her family and her marriage and stuff.

[Co-host]

That was worth 75k.

[Brady]

But don't you think that that dude was the bodyguard of Kyrsten Sinema? And the wife's like, I don't like this at all. Like, you're with her a lot. He's like, she's a lesbian. She love licking the ladies.

[Co-host]

It's clear.

[Brady]

It's like, look at the commercials. Like, I love licking ladies. And in law, like, that was the two things she liked the most.

[Guest]

You were one of the first ones to point out the star.

[Brady]

Oh, she went through the star because.

[Guest]

You look at her before.

[Brady]

Oh, when she showed up to congress a couple times in the knee high boots and the white skirts. And I'm like, she's gonna lick ladies tonight. She's gonna aoc lick ladies. Like, she's gonna be all over it. So maybe that's why she left the.

[Co-host]

Party that she was in. Clearly, that's why the went to the taint.

[Brady]

The bodyguard. That could be she. Yeah, she never made decisions. The body took her to Go see you two at Sphere. I was reading about it and the wife was like, part of the lawsuit. And he's like, well, I gotta protect her up there at Sphere. And that's where she treated him like a lady and started spirit. She started licking him instead.

[Host]

Oh, man. Star wash is worn off.

[Brady]

No, she don't look good again. She's going through a lot.

[Co-host]

It's stress a lot too.

[Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Well, yes. All right. That might just be.

[Host]

Look at those hips and stuff.

[Brady]

Brett's not wrong.

[Guest]

I think that's a big dress.

[Brady]

But yeah, it has to be.

[Host]

She's eating out of the trough.

[Brady]

They have a Sphere trough. Of course she found it.

[Host]

Maddie's need it.

[Co-host]

Yeah, that's not a good pick. No.

[Brady]

But I think this has to be a little bit upsetting to all the ladies that wanted her because she did go through the star wash and then started to tell everybody. I think a lot of guys voted for her. Like, she's kind of hot now and she likes licking ladies.

[Co-host]

A challenge for the ladies now to bring her back. Yeah.

[Brady]

Because you know, the guys are celebrating a little bit. Like, yeah, still couldn't put the dick down. She had to go back every once in a while at the U2 show. But all those people at Sphere, she chose a man's wiener over all the lady licking. And everybody was fair game that day. But she's getting sued for 75 grand. So I guess lesson is, if you're gonna seduce a guy and he's married, make sure that she lives in a state that she can't have to pay for that.

[Co-host]

Try to.

[Brady]

Try to follow the laws of seduction, but. Because, Yeah. I mean, if. If some beautiful woman from South Carolina starts to try to blow Brady.

[Co-host]

And you'd think she could have that news, you know? Like, the lady's like, look, I'm gonna sue you. What if you're $75,000.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

What if I write you a check right now?

[Brady]

Right.

[Co-host]

Or she's like, no, I'm not.

[Host]

Oh, she's gonna write a book and be on Dr. Phil and do all that kind of stuff.

[Brady]

There's a lot. There's a lot that goes into that because she. Yeah, the celebrity part of it. I just thought she was a lesbian. Like, mostly I thought she leaned heavy. I'd go 66. Lesbian. 66. 34. Cut on that.

[Co-host]

Maybe she was into that Morse because.

[Brady]

Remember, she was part of the squad, and she was in that white girl outfit. I don't know if that was what they were calling. But they all wore white because they were the new breed of senators, and they dressed sexy, and they were all, they look like they're going to Wimbledon. And then I thought they were all licking each other, too. I thought the AOC for sure dabbled in the devil's pantry.

[Host]

I think so.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. As mad as she is at men.

[Co-host]

There'S some limo orgy school.

[Brady]

That lady probably can't walk through a crack in a wall without giving it this one big swipe.

[Co-host]

AOC parties.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. They'll come out the lickoffs instead. Yeah, there's some lickoffs at the.

[Co-host]

What? 98?

[Brady]

No way. Homeberg's morning sickness.

[Co-host]

First radio video is a frog kebab.

[Brady]

Oh, this is gonna be sad.

[Co-host]

Yeah, In Toledo's vacation land, it's.

[Guest]

It's more Brady because you say you can't watch Asians.

[Brady]

Oh, no. Is this gonna make me puke watching an Asian eat something bad? Oh, boy.

[Co-host]

I'll get some frog legs.

[Brady]

Are they alive? Frogs? Oh, man. I'll get the bucket.

[Co-host]

Kind of.

[Guest]

Kind of.

[Co-host]

They're either alive or dead. I couldn't determine.

[Brady]

I think like that. Oh, God, it is. It is. Skewered raw frogs.

[Co-host]

They can still live with that spear through.

[Brady]

Is she wearing a WNBA jersey? All right, go ahead, Toledo. Hit play. Oh, God. These frogs are still alive. Oh, oh. Oh, the noise.

[Guest]

I don't think they're alive.

[Brady]

No, they're dead. They're either dead or stunned at what they just watched. Either dead or stone of watching what their friend just went through. There's some Giant Asian just grabbed Toledo and started eating. We'd all be quiet for a second too. Oh, my gosh. See what she just did to Gary. Shut up.

[Host]

Just.

[Brady]

I can't believe this is happening. What the hell is that thing? Second ago, I was sitting there singing Rainbow Connection, and now this. Remain absolutely still. Why are there. Hey, ho, everybody.

[Co-host]

Hello, my baby. Hello, my.

[Brady]

Somebody needs to make AI Kermit like being racist towards Asians. Hey, ho, everybody. Kermit the frog here.

[Co-host]

Amputated.

[Brady]

Yeah. Amputee's missing an arm. It's these Asians. Oh, Kermit, don't be mad at them. They don't eat you. I've turned them into Bullwinkle. I don't know why I haven't heard Kermit for a while.

[Co-host]

Next one's a fight. You pull this one up, or is that from. This is you? Huh? Oh, all right. Because I got a different one.

[Brady]

Brain fog. He's. He's looking at something else. I don't know what you've got here.

[Guest]

Whatever you gave me.

[Co-host]

This is what pulled up.

[Guest]

Try and push it up.

[Co-host]

I'm doing it. I mean, I've seen this one. I. I think we may have done this one.

[Brady]

This on the. I don't even know how he did that.

[Co-host]

Nice try. This.

[Brady]

Is this it? Is it a woman fighting a man?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

All right, here we go. So a couple of.

[Guest]

Look at how excited he got.

[Brady]

Very excited. So looks like two ladies are square. No. Dude squared up with a girl. Oh. And he takes a swing at the girl. She swings back. This is a. This is an inner city battle. I'm not gonna say any more than that. Oh, he hits her twice. He's landing all the lefts. She's still moving forward, though. He's controlling the pace of this. First shot is pretty solid. She misses with a wild right, then throws another W right. He's ducking it. Great footwork. This is excellent work. He's using his height advantage and smacks her again.

[Co-host]

She comes in.

[Brady]

No, she's just not disciplined off the ring. She's not disciplined. She's. She's running. You never chase a puncher. And this guy's got good defensive skills. Great head work. Good bob.

[Host]

Friday night, Maryville.

[Brady]

Always keep your head moving. Yeah, this is. This is the day they closed the mall over there at Metro Center. Oh, that fell. He's. You know. And I love it. He does a little. He does a little shoe shine thing at the beginning. He does his hands. It's great. This guy's a Tactic. And he's just knocking her all over the place. Look, she can take a shot.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

She's got a Jerry Cooney chin. She's like Tex Cobb, the inner city. She takes a punch, though. Look at that. That guy's all over. I could watch this for hours.

[Host]

Look at her friend, though. Just walks away. She's like, all right.

[Brady]

Because I have a feeling this again is running through her head, by the way. She does not go down. And he's open handing. He's keeping it classy because if he'd close that fist, she's going to sleep. Yeah. I mean, he lands the same punch. You just got to learn to keep that right hand up. That left is landing. The first one's a right. She didn't see that.

[Co-host]

She's not defending.

[Brady]

But from here, he just goes to the left.

[Guest]

And I mean defend yourself at all times.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Host]

Get a good hairdresser. Weave is holding on strong.

[Guest]

Is that what Mills Lane says?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

We ring that?

[Co-host]

Yeah, let's get it on.

[Brady]

And then you come back to the side and Freddie Roach is there.

[Additional Guest]

If you don't keep it right hand up, he's gonna keep landing that left. And I don't like how you're attacking.

[Guest]

Three rounds in a row.

[Additional Guest]

Just keep going in. And they say, okay, you're walking into the same punch and you use your footwork. Move to the right.

[Brady]

I ain't seeing it. I ain't seeing it.

[Additional Guest]

Exactly. Just stop chasing the punch.

[Brady]

You don't chase a puncher. If he's backing up, let him back up.

[Co-host]

All right, Brett.

[Brady]

Brett, it's all you. Friday light.

[Co-host]

You light on Friday.

[Host]

Or we'll start off light and then we'll just.

[Brady]

We'll work our way up. Here we go.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Hello?

[Brady]

Is this you? All right. Oh, there's a girl sucking a condom through her nostril and out her throat. She snorts a full condom. Not full like that. It looks like she's in, like a.

[Host]

She's in high school.

[Brady]

It says in high school, like a copy room. Yeah, they got a copier back there.

[Co-host]

And a fridge with the teachers doing the teacher's lounge.

[Brady]

Oh, is that one of the teachers you think I did?

[Co-host]

Maybe.

[Brady]

I think so. I think that teacher just snorted a magnum. Please. She just snorted a magnum through her nose. Nothing like it meant, like, she had to practice and fail and practice and fail a lot till she got it right and then break it out for friends. Watch this. Could you imagine, like, if Jen Gardner downstairs was like, come here for a second. I Want to show you something. And she snorted a condom and pulled it out her mouth. And we'd all laugh and everybody'd be like, that's crazy. And my mind would be like, how many times have you tried this before you finally decided this is for public consumption? Now I'm going to show people this. That's amazing. I love that lady.

[Co-host]

It's a skill.

[Brady]

It's a skill that you. How did she figure out she could do? A boyfriend told her.

[Co-host]

Is Jen here?

[Host]

Let's go.

[Brady]

Yeah, let's see if Gardner will do it. Anybody have a condom?

[Co-host]

She was probably doing noodles and stuff.

[Brady]

I'm like, why would you build yourself up? What's next then? Yeah, she's taking some big loads in that nose. And the future's bright for the kids, class of 2025.

[Host]

All right, future's not bright for this guy. But also, all these videos are safe.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Host]

Sound wise.

[Brady]

Okay. Clean. Okay, here's a giant fat woman.

[Additional Guest]

Oh.

[Brady]

Just throwing her ass onto a skinny fella.

[Co-host]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

Round two. He's gonna try to sit on his face again. Oh, God. That is a huge woman. Yeah, that's his. She is two guys, 500 pounds, sitting on a man's face and facing the other way. That's butthole to nose. Oh, my Lord. And he's trying to fight her off, but it's just not working. He's getting a little air here.

[Guest]

There's no way you'd get a 700.

[Co-host]

Pound sack off your face.

[Brady]

Oh, my Lord. Okay, that's enough of her.

[Co-host]

And you're hoping she can get out.

[Brady]

And then, of course, Brett likes it because. Okay, she's going in for a third drop. She's coming in from the front. Now he's on his back. His head's laying off the edge of the bed. She lifts. She lifts her FUPA and puts it on top of his face. And now she's. Oh, she's bouncing on the guys. He's gonna break his neck. This isn't right.

[Host]

Poor Todd Bridges. He's just getting crushed.

[Brady]

By the way, can we talk about Todd Bridges wife? Did you see the pictures of what's going on there?

[Co-host]

Yes.

[Brady]

Todd Bridges is getting divorced. And everybody saw the pictures. I think we all said it like, Todd Bridges could have done better. That's how bad this woman is that we thought Todd Bridges underachieved. And that guy's life's been a disaster.

[Host]

All right, time for.

[Co-host]

So that was real.

[Brady]

That's real. All right.

[Host]

Time for some breakfast.

[Brady]

Okay. Oh, there's a Lady performing a mouth hug on a fella. Hands behind her head in a very comfortable position, although her eyes are telling me she's not a big fan of this.

[Co-host]

And.

[Brady]

And then. Oh, he's pouring Kellogg's. Kellogg's Froot Loops into her armpit. And he's finishing with his man milk onto the Froot Loops of her armpit. And they're making a little man cereal. And it's. She looks at the camera as if to say, hi, dad. He takes a spoon, scoops up some of the brown Froot Loops, and there's Cheerios and Froot Loops mixed. And he's scooping it out of her armpit.

[Guest]

Which John is that name brand Froot Loops or is it.

[Brady]

I don't know. There's.

[Co-host]

No.

[Brady]

There's Toucan Sam.

[Co-host]

He's.

[Brady]

Poor Toucan Sam had to see that. And then he scoops it up with a spoon and feeds her. No, dad. Dad doesn't exist. Dad was never in the picture. All right, here's a naked lady standing next to a hay bale. Brady makes the pun that everybody gooze. And now she's spreading her butt. And here comes little tiny novelty soccer balls. Two basketballs, three basketballs there. She's also peeing. Now a third and fourth basketball are struggling. Fifth basketball. Wow. All coming out of her butt. And now the grand finale. It is a Nerf football one, not just. Here comes the second Nerf football out of her butt. Yes. Strings out. Nice leather there. That's a real football?

[Additional Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Wow.

[Brady]

The first one, I'm pretty sure. Brett, go back. We have to analyze that last football being an actual high school quality football. There's. That one's. That one's Nerf. You can tell because it's just smaller. And here's one is.

[Co-host]

I'm going to say flag.

[Brady]

It's a flag. That is a real football. That's a. I'm not even sure that's a junior football. She likes sports.

[Host]

And skip a tight spiral.

[Brady]

Want to play catch? Sure. I don't have a ball. Don't worry about it. I do.

[Host]

We'll just end with a jelly donut.

[Brady]

I don't know what that means, and I don't want to, but here we are. Oh, my God. All right, we've got a huge rosebud hanging out of a lady's butt, and she's in high heels. All right. Jelly donut.

[Co-host]

Sir, yes, sir.

[Brady]

Are you allowed to eat jelly donuts, Private pie?

[Co-host]

Sir, no, sir.

[Brady]

And why not private pie? Oh, she hasn't shaved in months. Oh, now she's showing us the front. They got us. She's using it for evil. She put something in it and she's using it for that. George Lucas couldn't even imagine something like that.

[Host]

It's like Cohaagen's coming out.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[Additional Guest]

Give it a dildo. Give it a dildo, Cohen.

[Host]

Cohaging. Coming out.

[Brady]

Oh, God.

[Co-host]

Do you see the streak on the side there?

[Brady]

Of what?

[Additional Guest]

Poo.

[Brady]

Oh, they thought it was poo, right?

[Co-host]

Other skin.

[Brady]

That's not poo. That's just a little zit. Maybe it might be a little poo. Ah, you're dabbling in the poo area.

[Co-host]

You're in. Yeah, you're in the Mecca.

[Brady]

It's like milk at a dairy farm. It's inevitable. Then she uses the rosebud for. For terrible things. And we'll finish that. Yikes. Kevin Nealon was supposed to come in here today, but his travel plans got screwed up. Yeah, I wish we could have shown Kevin that. He'd have done it. He just shown us that. Anyway. There you go. All right, reset. There you go, Everybody. That's your Brady report. It's 98 KUPD. Control, now. Pd.