01-16-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 01-16-26 – CONDENSED SHORT SHOW – FRIDAY
Date: January 16, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Special Voice Impressions: “Dr. Trump” (Trump impersonation), Tracy Morgan, Michael Jackson, others
Episode format: Round-table banter, comedy sketches, listener emails, pop culture commentary, interactive game segment (HMS Squares)

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Episode Overview

This condensed Friday show centers on stories of morality, crime and punishment, lost and found, and the quirks and absurdities of modern life. The hosts riff on topics from anonymous confessions and personal dilemmas to wildlife headlines, AI, weddings, and pop culture oddities, all with the irreverent, quick-witted banter characteristic of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness. Notable recurring themes are human hypocrisy, the folly of modern romance, dangers in Australia, and the surreal encroachment of AI on daily life and entertainment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Anonymous Confession: Crime Does Pay? (00:15–02:19)

• Listener Email: K.J. claims to have stolen $120,000 over a decade ago and that the statute of limitations has run out, so he's "proud" he got away with it.
• Hosts’ Reaction:
  • Brady jokes, “Kevin Johnson. The Phoenix Suns has stolen 120,000 American dollars.”
  • Holmberg investigates statutes: "It's seven years in Arizona for felony theft… But if it's 11 years, like he says, he got away with it."
  • The crew explores the psychology of "getting away with it," pride in crime, and skepticism about bragging post-statute.

2. Lost & Found Dilemma: Personal Morality (02:19–08:09)

• Casey’s Quandary: Casey finds $50 during a dog training session at a pet store.
  • He considers turning it in, waits, but ends up keeping it (splitting it with the trainer, Carlos).
  • Rationalization: “I found 50 bucks. I did my part. It’s mine now.” (Brady, 03:52)
• Moral Discussion:
  • Brady: “You’re not a bad man for this. You’re just not a good man either.”
  • They explore the phenomenon of justifying theft by projecting distrust onto others, debating whether finders-keepers is ever truly moral.
• Memorable insight: “Our moral superiority is usually just our thoughts justifying what someone else would do that we would never do. And in turn, we don’t even realize we’re doing the exact same thing.” (Brady, 06:12)

3. Headlines: Dangerous Australia (08:54–15:42)

• Stories:
  • Fashion model eaten by crocodile leads into a series of grisly Australian wildlife news bits (model’s tragic fate, mom killed by shark).
  • Comedy riff: Why Australia’s beaches are not for Holmberg—“Shallow. Have a great time here at the beach. Nope. Going in. I might as well stand on the freeway. It’s safer.” (Brady, 11:19)
  • Satirical “travel advisory” on Australia’s many deadly creatures—box jellyfish, estuarine crocodiles, whale sharks, cassowaries.
• Personal Anecdote: Holmberg’s own nervous experience scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef, weaving in comic references to Jonah and the Whale and The Sopranos.

4. Modern Weddings & Gender Roles (16:04–26:03)

• Viral Story: Woman divorcing husband after he smashes her face in wedding cake as a prank.
  • Holmberg takes aim at wedding traditions and gender double standards:
    • “No straight man plans a wedding with glee ever.” (Brady, 19:15)
    • Satirical take: women’s obsession with details, men’s lack of interest, the predictable monotony of weddings.
• Discussion on Romantic Standards:
  • Referencing a social experiment, the hosts debate who is "really romantic"—men or women.
    • “Would any of you…ever marry a guy who worked at Burger King?” (Brady recounts clip; 19:59–22:33)
    • “Men are the romantic ones…because we could meet you at Circle K.” (Brady, 25:59)
  • Lightly misogynistic jokes about dating expectations, wealth, and fairy tales.

5. Science & Tech News (26:10–32:28)

• Science Headlines (with Professor Brady Bogen):
  • Space station splashdown with rumors of STDs: “They’re coming back to investigate whatever space aids they’ve got…” (Brady, 27:12)
  • Google Gemini's new “personal intelligence” functions.
  • South Korean spray-on powder to heal wounds instantly, riffed into a tampon alternative bit.
  • AI news accuracy: only “fully accurate 47% of the time.”
  • Castration leads to longer lifespan in males—a launching point for anatomical banter.
  • Latest on the planet Uranus (“creamy nougat” joke perilously avoided).

6. Pop Culture: Baywatch Reboot & AI (32:43–36:52)

• Baywatch Reboot: Open casting call asks applicants to dress conservatively—contradictory to Baywatch’s legacy.
• AI Models in Entertainment:
  • “Baywatch reboot needs to be the first AI TV show.” (Brady, 33:01)
  • The hosts discuss impossibly “perfect” AI models online, especially the viral “Gracie Higgins.”
  • Satirical lament: real actors will be replaced, and AI standards will be unattainable for humans.
• Male “beauty standard” riff: Men will soon be judged against AI muscle models too.

7. Comic Banter & Impressions: HMS Squares Game (36:54–49:00)

• Squares Game: The cast shifts into a Hollywood Squares-style segment, each embodying an over-the-top character (Tracy Morgan, Michael Jackson, “Dr. Trump,” etc.).
• Memorable Moments:
  • Tracy Morgan’s Walmart story: “They used to run into me. So why not turnabout fair play, Brady?” (37:36)
  • Banter about hot chocolate shampoo, sexual innuendo, and “Swiss dick.”
  • Extended comic sketch between “Michael Jackson” and “Prince Jackson,” blending racial absurdity and Jackson family gags.
  • “Black Lady Brady” squares off with “Trump” and others, double entendre, and satire about romance, gender, and race.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Morality Reflection:
  "Our moral superiority is usually just our thoughts justifying what someone else would do that we would never do. And in turn, we don’t even realize we’re doing the exact same thing." – Brady, 06:12

• Why Not to Visit Australia:
  “Shallow. Have a great time here at the beach. Nope. Going in. I might as well stand on the freeway. It’s safer.” – Brady, 11:19

• On Weddings:
  "No straight man plans a wedding with glee ever. No straight man's got a picture of grooms in his hope chest waiting to... Oh, I'm gonna wear that tux." – Brady, 19:15

• Romance and Gender Roles:
  “Men are the romantic ones. Because we could meet you at Circle K.” – Brady, 25:59

• On AI and Standards of Beauty:
  “If you’re gonna do Baywatch again, let’s make it the first ever AI television show. ... Because you want to make AI your friend fast… it would be everything Baywatch was times 10.” – Brady, 33:06

• Tracy Morgan as Himself:
  “They used to run into me. So why not turnabout fair play, Brady?” – Tracy Morgan, 37:36

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Description | |------------|------------------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:15 | Listener email – $120k theft confession | “God damn, that’s right. I have stored the money in a very safe place...crime does pay.” | | 02:19 | Casey’s found $50 dilemma | Lost & found, morality, and finders keepers banter | | 08:54 | Dangerous Australia headlines | Crocodile and shark attacks, why Holmberg avoids the outback | | 16:04 | Wedding prank divorce story | The ridiculousness of weddings and romantic double standards | | 26:10 | Science news | Space station return, Google Gemini, AI news reliability, castration, Uranus | | 32:43 | Baywatch reboot & AI models | Social commentary: “Baywatch needs to be the first AI TV show” | | 36:54 | Comedy squares game begins | Tracy Morgan, Michael Jackson, Black Lady Brady, and others | | 45:01 | (Squares) Gender, romance, and race humor | “I like my humor in my ladies the same…” “Lay it on me!” | | 49:00 | Show devolves into technical difficulties & banter | End of main content |

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent and playful: The hosts poke fun at themselves and social conventions, frequently leveraging satire, exaggeration, and risqué humor.
• Conversational and rapid-fire: The dialogue is quick, overlaps, and jumps from topic to topic as jokes and side stories emerge.
• Self-aware and meta: There’s ongoing awareness of the show’s own absurdity and exaggeration, especially during character skits.
• Edgy but inclusive: Much of the humor riffs on race, gender, and pop culture, yet in a way that invites listeners in on the joke.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a rollercoaster of sharp comedic banter, moral debates, and topical riffing, emblematic of why Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is Arizona’s #1 morning show. The team is at their best when they balance genuine curiosity (about human nature, AI, modern relationships) with their signature “question and disturb” approach, peppering every conversation with punchlines and playful impersonations. Even if you’re new to the show, the improvisational, unscripted dynamic, and willingness to mock both themselves and the world around them are welcoming to anyone who loves fast-paced, unfiltered comedy about real life’s weirdest moments.

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Note:
Advertisement, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been omitted. All dialogue and jokes are attributed as in the transcript. The episode’s structure blends natural group banter with recurring comedic sketches and a listener-interactive segment.

Transcript

[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories.

[Tracy Morgan]

Morning sickness.

[Brady]

It's the morning sickness, and we are off and running for another perfect day here in paradise. And I start today with an email I'm pretty proud that I got again two days in a row. Yesterday we changed a girl's life. Today this guy changes ours if we take his advice. Good morning, boys. It starts. I just wanted to say out loud for the first time that the statute of limitations is now beyond the 10 years from the time I stole $120,000. God damn, that's right. I have stored the money in a very safe place and can now brag that I got away with it. I'm not ready to name names or states or places. I do not live in Arizona anymore. And I will say that the money has never left the place it originally started, but it is mine now because dreams come true and crime does pay. I'll try to give more details later. I just wanted to get this off my chest. You guys are my favorite show. Huge weekend for me. Signed K.J.

[Casey]

Kevin Johnson.

[Brady]

Kevin Johnson. The Phoenix Suns has stolen 120,000American dollars. My guess is that's not even the right amount. He probably lied. It's probably more. But I looked, and if it's 10 years, because I looked when I read this, it's seven years in Arizona for felony theft of massive amounts of money. But it depends on how you stole it. So it can go up to 10. But if it's 11 years, like he says, he got away with it. So congratulations. In a way, I'm proud of you. Brett would know you guys keep it together for a certain amount of time, and then you can start like, I don't know nothing, but I know it's mine. He's running his mouth now. He's running his mouth, though. There's the dangerous thing. And I knew Brett would say something along those lines. I didn't realize it was going to be running his mouth. Well, you know, he's singing, he's got some words to say he's been bottled up for. That's pretty good, though, Sammy the Bulls running his mouth, you know, 11 years. But he didn't say he's got 120k sitting somewhere that's he didn't see. That's true. But Sammy the Bull's not anything.

[Casey]

I guess I shouldn't feel bad about the. The quandary I had yesterday.

[Brady]

What's that? I was stat your limitations up on something. You did.

[Casey]

I. I don't think so. Because it's not like, well, a bunch of fingers. What would you do? So I was having a dog lesson with Catch.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Casey]

And the lesson took place at a retail store.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Casey]

To get them acclimated to petsmart Public. No, I won't say the name of. Until you.

[Brady]

That's. Nope.

[Casey]

And anyway, we're teaching him. We're in this one aisle, and we've been in this aisle the whole time doing stuff, different drills. And I would have him sit, leave, go around the corner, wait a couple seconds, come back, and he still.

[Brady]

He maintains the sit stay.

[Casey]

Yeah. So all sudden, I look to the side, and on the floor is cash folded up.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Casey]

Like, it looked like.

[Brady]

Look how much trash. Yeah.

[Casey]

50 bucks.

[Brady]

Nice job.

[Casey]

So I go to the dog trainer, Carlos. I'm like, hey, what do you think? What, should I go to the register and turn it in? He's like. And we're like. Like they're gonna. You know. I go, what we'll do is we'll wait here. The. I will. Because we still got about 45 minutes. Yes. And that's what we did. No one came back on the parking lot. He's like, I go, what would you do?

[Brady]

Did you split it with Carlos?

[Casey]

Split it with Carl?

[Brady]

All right, well, see, finders keepers is a different situation.

[Casey]

I came down My. My logic on it was, well, if I had dropped 50 bucks shopping. I'm chalking up, and I didn't go logic.

[Brady]

Your logic was, I found 50 bucks. I did my part. It's mine now. Radiocean over. That's right. It's finders keepers. You did a. An immoral finders keepers. Yeah. Weighs on you a little bit. Because it's wrong. You should have turned it in. But more than likely, you looked at the employees of the. The Petco that Brett said you were in and said, these losers are just going to keep this anyway. You assessed the situation by looking at the employees of the place and said, they're gonna keep it anyway. And then you did exactly what you accused them of being dirty for.

[Casey]

You know why I didn't mention the place?

[Brady]

I know why. Just in case the guy's like, hey, yeah, you can't. Everybody's gonna say that. Yeah, exactly. So now it's yours. But the. The odd thing. And I've done this. You're not a bad man for this. You're just not a good man either. It's. You looked at the people and said, they're not trustworthy. They'll just keep it.

[Casey]

More or less.

[Brady]

Yeah, and then you did exactly that.

[Casey]

Who. Who deserves it?

[Brady]

Well, nobody deserves it. If you don't deserve it, who does? That's exactly right. If we're gonna go down those road. Maybe that's what that douche was talking about.

[Dr. Trump]

All right, buddy, if you don't deserve it, who does?

[Brady]

Yeah, I've. I've been in that same quandary where you. I found a hundred bucks once, and I looked at the people at the place that had lost, and, like, these deadbeats will just pocket this money. And then I did that. So maybe they weren't deadbeats, but I certainly was. And I walked away feeling like I'd made the right choice because I knew if I'd have given it to someone else, they'd have just kept it. At least I thought about not keeping it. And that was where my justification rolled in. Did you spend it on anything yet? Did you have, like a. Your little windfall turn into an extra. Raising canes.

[Casey]

I got coffee this morning. Okay.

[Brady]

And you didn't buy anything at the. At the store for the dog.

[Casey]

Not yet.

[Brady]

A good job for catch.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. I find those things, those moments where you don't really think about your immorality because you. You made a choice and justified it with something ridiculous. I've done that. The hundred bucks that I found was a very hard one. And I got so judgmental of who I would leave it with because they wouldn't do the right thing. And then I just kept it.

[Casey]

Which. Would you feel better about turning it into the register? Say, hey, if someone comes by, said they dropped 100 bucks.

[Brady]

Yeah. Now you're in out of sight, out of mind.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Because now you're like, I've done the right thing, and you just forget it. And now that guy's probably like, nobody's coming in for that. What an idiot. And he might pocket it, and then you feel morally superior. But the problem is, our moral superiority is usually just our thoughts justifying what someone else would do that we would never do. And in turn, we don't even realize we're doing the exact same thing. Nice job, Brady. And it's only 50 bucks. I mean, that's a nice. That's a chunk of change to find. That's a nice one. That's a good. Was it all in a ball or was it.

[Casey]

It was folded.

[Brady]

Two twenties and a ten kind of thing.

[Casey]

Yeah, it looked old.

[Brady]

Well, I mean, like, it'd been there for a Minute.

[Casey]

Yeah, because it had to been. You know, it might not have been there for a minute or.

[Brady]

The way you're describing the losers at this facility you were at, they. They just scooped that right up. Maybe the loser. You know what? Maybe the losers at the store you were at were like, someone dropped this and I'm not gonna move it because if they come back, they'll know where they were and I'll leave it in their path. And you were like, hey, hey. And I like that Carlos is your partner, which also lessened your moral guilt.

[Casey]

Yeah, I. I consulted him.

[Brady]

Yeah. Another guy.

[Casey]

You know what? I don't think it really will do much. I don't. I think they'll look at you weird, like, hey, here's.

[Brady]

Why would they look at the register?

[Casey]

Like, yeah, we'll take care of that.

[Brady]

Why would they look at you weird, though?

[Casey]

Because. What's this idiot doing?

[Brady]

No, no, no, that's not what it is. No, it's so you can blame the Mexican with it. That's exactly right. That's right. You had a Mexican. You made it. That's right. And then you. You took some guilt off of you because you didn't take the whole 50. And some other guy was in on it too. And he'll take the heat because he's a Mexican guy in Gilbert.

[Dr. Trump]

Raul told me.

[Brady]

My name is Carlos. You son of a.

[Dr. Trump]

He's been.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So. Yeah. That's a good move though.

[Casey]

I feel good about it.

[Brady]

But if you're asking questions and you want to break it down, the breakdown is that you were as big a loser as the people you were pointing your finger at. And there's nothing wrong with that.

[Casey]

I wasn't trying to point the finger.

[Brady]

Yeah, you were. You didn't point.

[Corey]

Maybe a little.

[Brady]

You did point the finger, though. You may not have been trying.

[Casey]

Yeah, you did.

[Brady]

You most certainly. It's human nature. It ain't 120 grand. And I'm curious, more so on what this dude did to steal 120. And the wise thing evidently is he stored was a savings account for 10 years. Now he couldn't put it in a bank, so it got no interest. So when he stole it, it was worth more than it is today. But it's still. And I. Yeah, I looked. It's. It's seven years for that. That's not too bad. I remember we used to steal from.

[Casey]

He's probably on to a new church now.

[Brady]

That could be. Yeah. That's what I'm wondering. If it was like a I, I, the first thing I thought was like, a fundraiser or little League came to mind for some reason. What? 98. No way.

[Tracy Morgan]

Homeberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

I got into an algorithm, too, of. Because I clicked on this story and the headline made me laugh. Because you've never seen a headline the opposite. It says, fashion model eaten by crocodile in front of tourists. Oh, if it wasn't a fashion model, it wouldn't be a story. And it certainly wouldn't say fat pig eaten by crocodile in front of tourists or disgusting ugly person. The fact that it was a model led the headline. And she's very pretty. Or was before the crocodile got her. Look at that pretty lady swimming around.

[Casey]

Croc bait.

[Brady]

Yeah. And an estuarian crocodile in the Australian outback.

[Casey]

Nabbed her.

[Brady]

And evidently just death roll beyond, like, just smashing turn and cutting her in half, going back, eating her head. And all the tourists just stood back like, what? And just mangled her. She's 24. She was at a ski resort and couldn't be. You know, it's the opposite of, like, what most people think of Australia is just a desolate outback and they have, like, other stuff. But she said it was they. She got eaten there.

[Casey]

Was she taking a photo or anything?

[Brady]

I mean, she, I would imagine, must.

[Casey]

Have been near the water.

[Brady]

Yeah, she was down there messing around in the water and grabbed her and pulled her in and then just started to, like, file.

[Casey]

So then.

[Brady]

The next story I get is that a mom on an Australian beach. This one's horrible. Got. Didn't her. Her kids see her out there and looks like she's laying on her surfboard and they swim out there and realize that a great white shark bit off everything but her head and her head stayed on board.

[Casey]

Oh, my, that's a big shark.

[Brady]

Let's go swimming out there. And like, oh, there's no more, like, just her, like, her shoulders and stuff. So don't click on stories that start with model eaten alive by crocodile, because the next four stories ye not going to be eating that night. It's pretty good, though. But, yeah, just stay out of there.

[Casey]

Just.

[Brady]

You know, they have signs in Australian beaches if you ever make the flight that say beware of box jellyfish and estuarian crocodiles. And that is enough to keep me out of the water.

[Corey]

It's.

[Brady]

It's like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz. Beware. Like, the minute you see that sign, you're like, this isn't good. There's nothing good after beware. And then they tell you what to Beware of that means they've had incidents. Estuarian crocodiles. What's that? Ah, there's salt water and fresh water. They can do both. And they also live on land. Like, I'm going in. Why? Enjoy the outdoors, mate. You're out of your mind. The sign says beware the trees. Throw apples here. I'm. I'm in a bad place. What's a box Jelly? Ah, it's a invisible machine that lives in the water and if it touches you, you get 12 seconds to live. Tiny, hop in. I'll teach you to surf. I'm like, nope, go to my room. Why did God invent the box Jelly? Eh, He's a prankster, that guy. What's its function in this? In the sea? Doesn't really have one other than to just kind of be a jellyfish. Do other things eat it? No. Nar. So it just stings people and then you die. Yep. And keep in mind, mate, it's only one of 30 different varieties of jellyfish we have floating around in our waters. Shallow. Have a great time here at the beach. Nope. Going in. I might as well stand on the freeway. It's safer. Australia is a great place, but city. Stay in the city, don't wander off and you're gonna. People try to teach you to surf and kayak. And we went kayaking.

[Casey]

Scuba diving. The Great Barrier.

[Brady]

Oh, scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef was great. But I was told German tourist a few months ago, everything went dark. Huh? Yeah. We were scuba diving and everything went dark. What is. Why? Well, he was swallowed up by. It's a harmless toothless whale. Like what?

[Casey]

The whale shark?

[Brady]

I don't know what it was, but it has no. It was like a giant whale with a three car garage mouth and they just swallow up everything. And then the. The tongues or whatever just determines what food is. You're in rubber, mate. He's spitting you out. So I'm Jonah for a few seconds. Yeah. You just. It all goes dark, relax. And then you projectile vomit. Hell, like this is. I paid for. I paid 75 yellow dollars for this. Right. Anyway, don't worry about it. The gym and guy was fun and talk about a story. Yep. And we went scuba diving without any training or anything else. And I just worried the entire time that it was about to all go dark. That's how the Sopranos ended up. Don't worry about it. And I'm like, you ever heard a story from a guy who didn't get thrown up? You wouldn't hear that story, would you, mate. He's in that whale. I'm like, okay, so the only guy that you know that had this happen, that lived, he's not gonna eat. He made a rubber, mate. What if this particular whale has a penchant for rubbers? He won't. Don't worry about it. Then don't bring it up. But evidently, these things just swim along. And you're just like, look, it's Nemo. And then you're like, what happened to the light? Why is everything so wet? He just opens his mouth and swims and everything goes in, gathering all the plankton, whatever's there. And then you realize as you're scuba diving, because they do it, the silverfish and all the other ones, you get millions of, like, tons of food following you around. They just like motion. So as you're. You know, they're never in front of you. And then as you turn around, this incredible cascading amount of fish that are like, well, that's just shark food. Don't worry about it. Might. And he gives you the A. Okay. Sign, points to the top. Let's go. Up you go to the surface and. What the hell was that? Oh, I forgot to tell you. Little silverfish gonna follow you all over. They love the tourists. I'm like, they don't know we're tourists. Yeah, but they lock it. Oh, but it's beautiful. Like, you're blinded by the glorious. The colors. It's colors you've never seen. You're on a different planet, but they. But you have the constant fear of a giant whale swallowing it. He's not around, mate. It's too low. We were in deeper water, which is about eight feet from here. Then you'd have to worry. So if I drift off course a little bit. Yeah, that's where trouble is, mate. Sharks, wilds, bucks, jellies.

[Casey]

Watch the current over here.

[Brady]

And then I ended up swimming around by myself. This is amazing. I was an idiot, but, yeah, everything in Australia is trying to kill you. So get me started on the cassowaries. What? 98? No way.

[Tracy Morgan]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

And then I saw a headline I liked a lot says, woman divorces man two days after he pulls a wedding prank on her. And they're giving this woman all the praise in the world for standing up.

[Casey]

Good for you.

[Brady]

Can't believe his wedding prank was smashing her face into the cake. It ruined the photographs, and she's out. She divorced him some time. Yeah, exactly. And now he doesn't have to pay. Like you're going to Know that. So he's not out anything. He. This is proof weddings need to end. Stop. They're don't have the guy there. We don't need to be there. You don't want us there. No, the groom. Just go have your day. Because you know what? You were marrying a prankster who thought it would be fun and playful to smash your face into cake. I don't like that joke. It's, you know, it's the vaudevillian joke of physical comedy into cake. But he thought it was funny, and you knew that about him. You know when you're with a cake to the face guy, right? And I've always thought it was funny. Like you do a lot of weddings, Brad, that they act like it's so crazy that we're gonna feed each other cake.

[Dr. Trump]

Really Just gonna smear it all over.

[Brady]

It's like, oh, this old gag again. So he took what was gonna happen anyway. Hey, they kept it clean, everybody. You have to say that. Yeah, exactly. You know the lines, Brett, because no weddings are different. Every woman's special day is the same as every other woman. Absolutely. It's remarkably cookie cutter. And each one thinks they're getting some sort of a special treatment because you know why? They're selfish. And they look in the mirror that day and go, this day is for me, because I look so beautiful. They treat themselves like princesses. They look in that mirror. They have their hair and their makeup and everything else, and then they just go down the line of the most mundane, repeated thing in human history. There has not been one wedding I've been to that I'm like, wow, they really took chances. That was different. Never. They're all the same boring. But women confuse it because they've pampered themselves so much for the most spectacular day that's ever happened to any woman ever. And it's different because it's theirs. So don't have the guy go, because if he wanted to, hey, I want to do a prank in the middle of it. We're not doing any pranks. Like, am I not involved in this?

[Dr. Trump]

This is dating.

[Brady]

I mean, it would be kind of fun for people to see us kind of goofing around, right?

[Dr. Trump]

It's not about that. We cut the cake, and we get the picture. And then after we feed each other.

[Brady]

Cake and then we smear like everyone else has done. Why don't I just smash your face into the cake?

[Dr. Trump]

Don't you dare do that. I did my makeup for hours.

[Brady]

Oh, God. This dude was a gift. I watched the video the other day.

[Casey]

So he put her head first in the cake.

[Brady]

Yeah. While she was. She cut it like she did the stupid smile.

[Dr. Trump]

It's about me today.

[Brady]

Just hire a guy to stand next to you. And then the real groom, who didn't want to be there in the first place, will just sign the papers and he'll be like, I'm the real husband. But that guy looks great. And just make the pictures look better. You don't want us there because you don't ever. And then if we don't participate in weddings, you didn't even care about what.

[Dr. Trump]

Color the napkins were.

[Brady]

No, really, I didn't. No man ever has. Why do you think that any man would ever be different in planning? You know, if you've got a guy and you're about to get married and he's really involved in the wedding planning, you're gonna find out in about six years. He's got a gay lover. No straight man plans a wedding with glee ever. No straight man's got a picture of grooms in his hope chest waiting to. Oh, I'm gonna wear that tux. We wear the same thing as every other dude because it's like, what's the easiest. What do you wear? What's the uniform for? This? The tuxedo. Cool. Okay.

[Casey]

Powder blue.

[Brady]

The color. Maybe you'll mix it up a little bit. Doubtful. And you're not getting a choice on that. I'm gonna wear this dumb and dumber.

[Dr. Trump]

No, you are not.

[Brady]

And then she goes and picture outfit. It's just dress em ups. I watched a thing online the other day and congratulations. This lady. All the comments are like, you stand up for yourself. A man who'd treat you like that at your wedding would probably abuse you later. Like, right? That's. He's fun. So you don't like fun people. That's. He wasn't right to do it, but come on. No rings in any of those fingers. Nope. All those chubby little fingers are full of cake because they're never missing their mouth with that. There was a guy who. Who was online and he said something about too. He had a group of women in front of him and he was trying to prove that women are not romantic. Men are the romantic gender. And he said, I can prove it with one example. Would any of you in this room ever marry a guy who worked at Burger King? And all the girls are like, well, no. I need a man who's like, self sufficient and provides. Oh, he's. He lives on his own, but no he can't like what? And prior to that, they. He had asked them all, what's the minimum for a man to date you? Like, he has to make how much a year? None of them were below $120,000. And they weren't like supermodels. They were just decent, average. Although it's like 120 is about right. And he said, now ask me that question. He goes, because no matter what I find with a woman, if I love her, I don't care how much she makes. There's none of you feel the same way. We're the romantic ones. You're the ones who are the takers. Damn. And I'm like, oh. And I'm sitting at home, I'm laughing quietly at home because I'm like, I shouldn't be laughing. I don't think I'm supposed to like this. But I. It was dead on the money. And it's true. No woman would ever meet the guy at Burger King taking her order and think he's the one. But a dude might. If the hot girl who just kind of winks and smiles at you at the Burger King, you're like, you're incredible.

[Casey]

Think about, I would like to provide for her.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's what we. They got us snowed. Nicolas Cage married his waitress from Sushiroku in Santa Monica, and people thought it was her romantic story was the trap of the Burger King.

[Casey]

Question that the guy owned the Burger King.

[Brady]

Huh? No, no, no. Work that. No, he just worked. They understood. They understood it like, he's just the guy who's taking.

[Casey]

What if you said that to them.

[Brady]

And then said, well, he owns the Burger King. Right? Well, that would have been a nice twist. That would have been, oh, that's different.

[Casey]

Oh, there.

[Brady]

Yeah. But it was weird because he set him up by saying just, you know, random question and answer it how you feel. It's nothing wrong. No bad answers. How much minimum would it take for a man to. To be someone that you would consider dating? None of them were. One girl said $13 million.

[Casey]

Yeah. So we know what she would have said because it would be interesting saying, could you fall in love with someone that's making $45,000 a year?

[Brady]

But they fool themselves with shows like Beauty and the Beast. Like, you know, you fell in the sewer and met an animal and you fell in love and you didn't have any. But then it turned out, you watch that Beauty and the Beast, he had collected some really nice stuff. He was kind of a millionaire of the sewer like, he'd really done a nice job decorating. He had some gold candlesticks. He dressed nice. He had some stuff. Vincent. And they were like, ah, so why can't I ever meet a man like that? Well, it's because you're looking for money first. Most of them, yeah.

[Casey]

I mean, it's hilarious because you'd ask a man, did you ever fall in love? It's just by the picture. With a woman that would look like this or this.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Casey]

Makes no money. This one doesn't make any money. This one is actually in debt. Yeah, a little bit.

[Brady]

Dudes will pick them up.

[Casey]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

What's her ass and cans look like? There's where our. Absolutely. There's where our standards live. But it was a great little. We admit it, though. We own it. But that dude, his family got mad at him for smashing the. She said no pranks because it's not a prank. We were going to do this in a minute anyway. I beat her to the punch. It was part of the criteria that in a couple of hours or a couple of minutes, we're going to be smearing cake on each. I thought I'd just jump it. That's not what the schedule said. Like, I thought this was our special day. I didn't realize I was. Don't even have.

[Casey]

Ruining the schedule. Well, you know what? At least she got it done early.

[Brady]

Now you just so happen to be there. Yeah, that's. And you see those weddings you go to, the dudes are most just working the tuxedo. They're kind of like, I operate the suit for a couple hours and then I say words. Nobody really cares. It's all about her.

[Casey]

And what's one thing you tell. Like, when I can remember hearing this multiple times, and then afterwards, like, they were right. You're like, you won't remember much about.

[Brady]

No. And you. And then you realize, like, this is the one you're 30, 40 grand in.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. Somebody spent 25 to $50,000 on this thing. And you're like, we could have used that. Oh, I had a friend, I thought he was going to punch his wife once. They had an elaborate wedding. And this is 10, 12 years later. And she sat back and she goes, if I had it to do all over again, I probably would have just eloped or something. And then we could have used that money for the house back then. And I remember when they were going to get married, it was. They traveled to site location. I mean, airplane travel. Like, let's go see if San Luis Obispo is right. No, I don't want this. They spent a fortune looking for the place. Then the wedding they had was just this gigantic mess of people. Nobody could hear anything. It was dumb. And then she had the nerve to say that. And I remember he was. You know, he was probably 27. It was breaking his balls to make sure that she got everything she wanted. And then 15 years later, to have her sit there and go. Probably would have just eloped. I suggested that about 30 times. He didn't punch her in the face. I wasn't gonna stop him. I think his fists balled up. I don't think. I think he's. He's a decent man. He put a hole through the drywall in the bathroom, probably. Yeah. Yeah. I betcha there was a hole in the. In his punching room at home that night. That had to stink. But, yeah, we are the romantic ones. Men are the romantic ones. Because we could meet you at Circle K98.

[Casey]

What?

[Brady]

98. No way.

[Tracy Morgan]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Casey]

And now it's time for some science news. Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. The four astronauts. Astronauts from the space station splashed down near San Diego yesterday morning.

[Brady]

I'm right about this. This is an std.

[Casey]

Medical emergency. Yeah. They're not saying.

[Brady]

They won't say anything. So it's an std. So they got social up there. They started boning in the space station. One of them had the found out. The other ones are worried. Everybody's got a rash.

[Casey]

NASA shared a video of the crew handing over a key to the space station to the new commander. But they really don't use keys up there.

[Brady]

I was gonna say they don't have my cue. Just a symbolic key. I get into my house without a cat. It's like a skeleton.

[Casey]

So they do a symbolic key. Handing it over.

[Brady]

Stupid.

[Casey]

That's performative.

[Brady]

And don't touch those keys either, because the guys leave and have warts. You don't. They're. Something's terrible going on that they won't even say. Like, they didn't even say what. And why are you bringing them back to Earth. If it's a virus or something, leave them up there.

[Casey]

Did you see?

[Brady]

All of our listeners are like, they're bringing back the alien planet, right? The two healthy ones should come back, and the sick ones should have stayed up there.

[Tracy Morgan]

And we.

[Brady]

And then we fire up some medicine. It's your own fault for being in space if you get sick up there. That's. That's the cost of Doing business if you didn't have the right medicine. They've got warts.

[Casey]

They've got the space.

[Brady]

Crazy. Yeah. They have a social disease because why bring four back and it's not passing through them? They wouldn't bring them back if it was just like something that was gonna easily cure itself. They're coming back to investigate whatever space aids they've got, and it's gonna get loose. And then Dustin Hoffman's gonna be in the city in a big white suit. We'll all wonder what happened. Space aids.

[Casey]

A band name?

[Brady]

No. No, it's weird.

[Casey]

Album name maybe. AI News. Google announced. Gemini can now talk to other Google apps like Gmail, YouTube, Google Photos and use that info to answer questions. It's a new feature called personal intelligence. The VP of Google Labs says he used it last month at a tire shop. He asked Gemini what size tires he needed and it gave him the correct size. Then it suggested all weather tires because based on his photos, he knows he goes on road trips in Oak to Oklahoma a lot.

[Brady]

Gemini knew that.

[Casey]

Yep.

[Brady]

That's a lot. I like how you say Google Labs, by the way. It sounds like Google Labs.

[Casey]

Google Labs.

[Brady]

Like you've got your computer. Your computer. Six pack.

[Casey]

Band Aid News. A team of scientists in South Korea came up with a spray on powder that seals wounds and stops bleeding in one second.

[Brady]

Like, how big are the wound? Women. You could use that every 28 days. Lock it up and it all collects behind the gate. And then you take an X acto knife and you cut the powdery band aid off and it falls all out in one day. Your period's over. They don't make messes anymore. I wonder if they would be up for that. Blocking it up. Yeah. Sealing it with a Japanese spray.

[Casey]

South Korea.

[Brady]

Come on. Just like some flex seal you just throw in there. Yeah. And then it creates a barrier, like a band aid, only it's really good. And it locks that hole up.

[Casey]

You're building up, that flow has to come out.

[Brady]

No, it doesn't. It waits. And then. And then you cut it open. Like. Like a cow abscess.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And it falls out in one chunk.

[Casey]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

That's safer. Still ruined vacations, though. Oh, well, the period, you can't get rid of that. Well, you can. They're just not willing to get the hysterectomy. But the. They just sit over the can and like, you know, like you're gutting a salmon. Open it up, it all tumbles out and then it flush It. And there's no need for hygiene. I bet you women would be for that. Because I wouldn't like that. That, to me, is a terrible thing they have to go through with all the extra carrying stuff and putting it in, taking it out, throwing it out. We get to see it sometimes. Disgusting. And then. But if you just had it like, it would look like when there's a leak in your ceiling and the paint droops. In order to paint sweat and then you got to cut it and the water falls out, it all goes back to normal. Those South Koreans should invent a little thing that kind of wipes it away and then it all tumbles out into the. Like a bunch of smashed tomatoes. I'm thinking happening in AI.

[Casey]

This journalism professor in Canada got all his news from AI bots for a full month. And he says the news it fed him was fully accurate just 47% of the time. Partially accurate 45% of the time. And the other 8% was total BS.

[Brady]

So better than our normal stuff. Yeah.

[Casey]

Scientists think they finally figured out something about the solar system in our planets, in our galaxy. They finally figured out what's inside Uranus.

[Brady]

All right, we're done with you. If you say creamy nougat, I'm gonna kick you out.

[Casey]

They say you do this once a month.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Casey]

They say it's a weird substance that both. That's both solid and liquid at the same time.

[Brady]

Space diarrhea. Go ahead.

[Casey]

I'm not saying it.

[Brady]

Four day work.

[Casey]

Finally, there's a study.

[Brady]

It seems like he only does it on Fridays.

[Casey]

Oh, you nailed it.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a Friday thing. He goes to the Uranus jokes.

[Casey]

There's a study that found that one thing that reliably makes men live longer. It applies to males of other species, too. That one thing. Castration.

[Brady]

Well, actually, testosterone can be a little bit bad for you after a while. So they castrate you. Your balls don't make bad decisions.

[Casey]

You live long.

[Brady]

You live longer because you're calmer. Yeah, probably.

[Casey]

That's your science news.

[Brady]

Look funny. Your body would look funny without, like a. A set hanging down. What? 98? No way.

[Tracy Morgan]

Holg's morning sickness.

[Casey]

This is kind of baffling. Open casting call has been announced for the Baywatch reboot.

[Brady]

TV or movie?

[Casey]

Tv.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Casey]

And the applicants are encouraged to avoid overly revealing styles and costumes. Have you seen Baywatch?

[Brady]

Baywatch reboot needs to be the first AI TV show.

[Casey]

I guess.

[Brady]

And you get that girl we've been looking at? Brady sent us. Yeah. Yeah. What was the name of that girl.

[Casey]

This.

[Brady]

Everybody go look at this. We're gonna do you a favor and kind of wreck your day.

[Casey]

Higgins.

[Brady]

Yeah, something Higgins. Something with a G. Higgins. Higgins. Higgins. I'll find her. Here she is. Gracie Higgins. She's AI based off of a. And she does, like, things with her mom, too, which is not necessarily so. You can go to. I think it's Instagram. Is Grayson Higgs. It's just not human, man. Literally.

[Casey]

That's why I said. I'm like, I sent you. Like, is this real?

[Brady]

Yeah. And it's in her face is kind of. As far as I'm understanding, it's kind of real. But she does these. This will be the. If you're a woman and you hear this in the bathroom a lot, she plays Paging doctor Beats on all of her dances. She needs to be the AI Baywatch girl. She does all the basketball teams, too. Oh, she does a lot. Yeah.

[Casey]

Trust me, it's got to be AI because after the wardrobe that's going on there with those outfits. But I'm sure they're sending them to her now.

[Brady]

That one, no, that's just not human. A couple of them are like, that's not a human being. But that's the thing. If you're gonna do Baywatch again, let's make it the first ever AI television show. And let's. Let's see how it goes. Because you want to make AI your friend fast. If I'm Elon Musk, I'm calling immediately the Schwartz family, who were the owners of Baywatch, and say, let's do this my way. And then you have AI awesome Baywatch. And people be like, have you seen AI Baywatch? Because it would be everything Baywatch was times 10. They got one with her, with Leo. Yeah, I saw that word. But none of those are real. They wind up in bed together at the end.

[Casey]

Yep.

[Brady]

And he bangs her. Yeah. AI Baywatch is the future. I don't want to see. I don't want to see modern day social issues dealt with by real people on Baywatch. Because what they'll do is have a fat one and a flat chested one and a gay one. And like, they'll. They'll go down that thing you have to do to make for sure AI doesn't have to do that. And the dudes would be great too, for all the ladies are upset. And you could still have a lesbian one. Or do imagine that to make the lesbians happy, a couple of the Baywatch lifeguards that look like Gracie Higgins. Are lesbians. Oh, the lesbians would be like, this one's. Okay, we're good here. We don't mind the. The beauty standard. The beauty standard that every woman you'll have.

[Casey]

Two of you'll have the Hoff, you know, and then you'll have the.

[Brady]

Yeah, and put classy Hoff back in there. AI him back in. That whole thing when women are like, it's not fair. Magazine covers and all this other stuff, it's just the beauty standards too high. You weren't wrong, but you needed to pretend like it was plenty good enough. Because what men did was invent something that now no one can attain at all. You go through pornhub and see the fourth. It's always the fourth one down. When you're looking at your videos, you're like, no, no, no. Whoa. And you click it, and then you're like, oh, it's an AI ad. It's the most perfect human being you've ever seen. That looks like she can't find the right mouth hole for milk. She's coated. And you're like, I'll show you later, Brady. But when you go to pornhub, it's the fourth one down. And I've learned that the. The click on it is blue. If it's blue, it's AI. Oh, really? It's a little lesson for all you out there. If it's blue, it's AI. But she's perfect. Like the girl. Like, oh, my God. I can't believe I'm even looking at that. 98. What? 98. No way.

[Tracy Morgan]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Corey]

All right, now over to the middle right square. We got Tracy Morgan. How you feeling?

[Tracy Morgan]

I've been better. How are you doing, Cory?

[Corey]

No complaints.

[Tracy Morgan]

Hey, everybody. Happy weekend. I'm gonna tell. I'm gonna spend my entire weekend drinking and walking around the freeway by the Walmart waiting for those delivery trucks. Never gonna do it, Brady. Biggest payday I ever had wasn't some movie I did with Kevin Smith, that bomb. But I got trucked over by a Walmart truck, and I'm a billionaire. What you want from Walmart? Because I can walk right into a Walmart right now. I'm the only black man in the world walk into Walmart. Just take what I want off the shelf and leave. And nobody says a thing. They say that Tracy Morgan, he's allowed to have anything in here he wants. I'm running into a Walmart every day. They used to run into me. So why not turn about fair play, Brady?

[Corey]

What are you grabbing when you're in there?

[Tracy Morgan]

Anything? I want Oreo cookies. You want some?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Tracy Morgan]

You want some mayonnaise? I bet you're out.

[Corey]

No, no, no.

[Tracy Morgan]

You probably love mayonnaise.

[Corey]

I really don't.

[Tracy Morgan]

That surprises me. I would assume that you would, like, shower in it. Yeah, I think so, too. I think he's got a tap. Like his shampoo is mayonnaise. He doesn't need it.

[Corey]

No, it's actually hot chocolate.

[Tracy Morgan]

Hot chocolate shampoo.

[Corey]

It was a Christmas thing.

[Tracy Morgan]

Your shampoo is hot chocolate scented?

[Corey]

Yes.

[Tracy Morgan]

Are you trying to attract children?

[Casey]

Tracy, he's got coco head.

[Tracy Morgan]

I think I know you call me coco head. Is that what you just said to me?

[Brady]

He's trying to fit in.

[Tracy Morgan]

I guess so. But your head smelling like hot chocolate's gonna land you in jail like we talked about earlier. And you ain't gonna like it.

[Brady]

Got marshmallows, too.

[Tracy Morgan]

Your head smells like hot chocolate. Brett, smell his head real quick.

[Brady]

Do it.

[Tracy Morgan]

Toledo. Smell that boy's chocolate head. Smell his head right now.

[Brady]

It's hot chocolate.

[Tracy Morgan]

Tracy, are you sure?

[Casey]

I am sure.

[Tracy Morgan]

Who in the world makes hot chocolate flavored shampoo?

[Corey]

Was for the holidays.

[Casey]

That's again, that's not answering.

[Tracy Morgan]

Not answer to a question. It's still creepy.

[Casey]

Bath and Body Works, Maybe.

[Corey]

Yeah. I thought it would smell good.

[Tracy Morgan]

You bought it for yourself?

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Tracy Morgan]

That's the creepiest I've ever seen. I can't wait to smell you. Do you wash your peels with it?

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Tracy Morgan]

This is the weirdest thing I've ever talked to. You got hot chocolate dick.

[Corey]

I gotta get myself.

[Casey]

That's what.

[Tracy Morgan]

That's what.

[Casey]

I'm Swiss dick.

[Tracy Morgan]

It was my Swiss dick. Does he yodel?

[Corey]

Yeah. Store stir it in for a few minutes.

[Brady]

That's weird, but I want to smell like Mike.

[Casey]

All right.

[Brady]

It's not chocolate, but it looks like chocolate. It hurts.

[Corey]

All right, now over to the bottom left square. Britney Secret Square.

[Tracy Morgan]

Fellas.

[Casey]

55 years old from Michigan. I'm an entertainer.

[Brady]

I'm a rapper.

[Casey]

First name's Bob. I'm a cowboy, baby. Yeah, yeah.

[Corey]

We got it.

[Brady]

That's enough.

[Casey]

Do.

[Brady]

What does that have to do with mlk?

[Casey]

Who's this guy again?

[Brady]

Well, yeah. All right.

[Casey]

You shut your mouth, partner.

[Corey]

Full on here. Bottom of the square. Get to appropriation.

[Brady]

Cultural appropriation. Yeah. Really?

[Dr. Trump]

What'd you say? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought MLK was supposed to be here. I replaced him. I'm Michael Jackson.

[Corey]

Oh, hey, Michael.

[Dr. Trump]

I just wanted to be part of MLK weekend.

[Corey]

That's fine. Yeah, I'm sure you're still kind of black.

[Dr. Trump]

No. I want to celebrate the African American culture with my son. Come on in here, Prince.

[Brady]

And Prince Jackson.

[Corey]

Why is he always with you?

[Brady]

African American man Prince Jackson. He, he players. Well, they are father and son. Hehe. Can't you tell the resemblance?

[Dr. Trump]

I'm the one on the right.

[Brady]

He, he, he. I'm the one on the left. Father. He's my daddy. He's poppy.

[Corey]

A lot of kids call him that.

[Casey]

So much in common.

[Brady]

So much in common. Singing, dancing, very rhythmic.

[Corey]

I'm sure with AI you guys could do a song together now.

[Brady]

Sure we could. It would be great. Ebony and ivory Shamoy.

[Dr. Trump]

Live together in perf. That's me. That's not Prince.

[Casey]

That was me. Michael.

[Dr. Trump]

It's hard to tell us apart because we're related, so clearly.

[Brady]

That's right. Me, he.

[Casey]

You're looking at the man in the mirror.

[Brady]

Lay it on me. All right. Is it black or white? Oh, it don't matter. I hear.

[Corey]

Oh, wow.

[Brady]

Two, three, four. Your butt is mine, don't pay the price. What are the words, dad?

[Dr. Trump]

Show your face in broad daylight.

[Brady]

That's right. That's my father. I'm telling you, baby. Who I feel. This doesn't make sense.

[Dr. Trump]

Shut your mind. For you to kill my owner.

[Tracy Morgan]

Lay it on me.

[Brady]

All right.

[Tracy Morgan]

Nice.

[Brady]

Nailed it.

[Corey]

Not bad.

[Brady]

That's right. It's Prince Jackson. I was named after another African American singing hero. Prince.

[Corey]

Is that the compensate.

[Brady]

Oh, I mean, compensate for what?

[Dr. Trump]

I mean, someone turn the lights on. I can barely see Prince. I'm just kidding. He's opaque.

[Brady]

I look a lot like my grandfather Joseph. Very similar hair features. Prince Jackson. You've seen a picture of your dad in a while. Oh, I've seen him. I see him every day. I look in the mirror. I'm like, the man in the mirror. Is true. Anyway.

[Corey]

All right, then. What's wrapping things up here? Bottom right square. Our Lord and Savior, Tripp Reap.

[Brady]

How are you, sir? Yeah. How are you doing, Corey?

[Tracy Morgan]

Good, good.

[Corey]

How's the golf going?

[Brady]

It's good.

[Tracy Morgan]

Colors, colors, colors.

[Casey]

Are you golfing with colors?

[Corey]

Yeah, I was on the golf course.

[Brady]

I'm gonna dip Brady in some stuff and we're gonna wander around the country club and make everyone nervous. Did you bring that stuff? I told you to bring Brady the paint.

[Casey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Corey]

Why do you have body paint? Guitar, what are you doing?

[Brady]

I'm going to body paint Brady and make everyone club scared. We're golfing today, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Brady. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Ooh. To Brady. I like it.

[Casey]

Got any chocolate shampoo?

[Brady]

Yeah, I smell like cocoa. Better not smell like the cocoa that belongs to me. Yeah, well, I'm not saying another word. She's got a nice ass.

[Tracy Morgan]

All right, go for it.

[Corey]

Alrighty. Let's see.

[Brady]

We got today anonymous and wireless caller. You got Lori and Paul. Lori, are you there? I'm here. All right. Paul, are you there? I am. All right. Laura, you're a girl. Pick a square. Go.

[Dr. Trump]

I'll take Black Lady Brady. It's the middle square.

[Tracy Morgan]

All right.

[Dr. Trump]

I love Black Lady Brady.

[Casey]

It's so hot, Casey, before it's so hot.

[Dr. Trump]

Yeah, well, we know. Hey, look, let her play the game the way she plays. I need your judgment running around down here, mister.

[Casey]

I'm trying to help.

[Dr. Trump]

Mister. Do it all wrong and suddenly you got suggestions. Jesus Christmas. You know you've had a bad day. When cholita goes, that ain't right. Cause 99% of the time he's talking about himself. All right, go ahead.

[Corey]

I got a question here for you.

[Dr. Trump]

Sweet little white boy. You should ask me a question.

[Corey]

Okay.

[Dr. Trump]

I'm so sad for your ailment.

[Corey]

Oh, thank you very much.

[Dr. Trump]

That's all right. If I lay hands on it, perhaps it would feel better. I'll touch your ears. I will heal you like a shaman of some sort.

[Brady]

Be like a witchcraft.

[Corey]

Women are more receptive to romance on a full stomach. True or false?

[Dr. Trump]

Ooh, Sometimes I like to lay down on scummy Dick Douglas's full stomach and have some romance. I like my stomach to look like it's covered in romance. That means we know they got the job done. I like when scummy Dick Douglas puts all that white romance on my belly. Ooh, I love a full stomach. That's nice. You like a tender little catfish. I just want to tickle you under the chin, stick my thumb in your gill and carry you home.

[Corey]

Oh, thank you.

[Tracy Morgan]

Very pretty.

[Casey]

I like that. Yeah.

[Dr. Trump]

I like a big full belly. I like that. You look like James Earl Ray sometimes.

[Tracy Morgan]

What?

[Dr. Trump]

You have that look about you.

[Casey]

I don't know.

[Dr. Trump]

I don't know if it's appropriate to have you hosted this weekend because you just. You made a turn and I could. You probably related to him.

[Corey]

No.

[Dr. Trump]

I bet you if you 23 and meet it. No, you'd have all sorts of that popping up.

[Corey]

I think all it would show is Irish.

[Dr. Trump]

I think you'd have that guy in the clock tower in Texas. You'd have the dude what shot Kennedy. You have James Earl Ray, and they probably all had babies with some racist white lady, and then you come tumbling out.

[Corey]

Actually, my dad is from Chicago, so you can probably get a connection there.

[Dr. Trump]

He probably had. See your hands. See your hands, Daddy. Shooting people like crazy. Your family. I can tell.

[Corey]

All right, so you're saying true to a full stomach, is that right?

[Dr. Trump]

Oh, everybody loves a romance. Nothing better than that noise juggling around in your gut. You hear the laminate sloshing around with the greens in the food.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Dr. Trump]

And then you get down on them pubes and you start smelling hot coco.

[Brady]

I'm sorry.

[Dr. Trump]

I go too far.

[Corey]

No, that's all right, Se.

[Brady]

Okay, Obama agrees.

[Dr. Trump]

Oh, Obama knows.

[Brady]

I would have. I would have joined in if my mouth wasn't full.

[Tracy Morgan]

Back to work, player.

[Brady]

Sorry, Big Mike.

[Corey]

All right, there. So you're saying true now, Laurie, do you agree or disagree with true?

[Dr. Trump]

You know, I really. I can't hear him at all, but.

[Brady]

Oh, really? Yeah, me either.

[Dr. Trump]

I really don't hear him at all.

[Corey]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dr. Trump]

How'd you not hear me at all? That didn't make no sense. I hear John fantastically, but I really can't hear Thriller. Oh, what, you can't hear Thriller for that? Don't make no sense.

[Brady]

All right, your mic's not on.

[Casey]

It's.

[Dr. Trump]

It is out.

[Corey]

Okay, weird.

[Dr. Trump]

Is it on? I can't hear it. It was off the whole time.

[Corey]

Test, test. Anybody hear it?

[Dr. Trump]

Okay, I just need to know the question, and then that's all right.

[Brady]

I'll do it.

[Dr. Trump]

Yeah, women are more receptive to romance on a full tummy.

[Corey]

True or false?

[Dr. Trump]

True or false? I come to can't hear no code. I see it's true.

[Corey]

Well, that's correct. So Eric's. Get your squares.

[Casey]

I got it. Right.

[Dr. Trump]

Do you hear him now? I don't know if you can hear him now. Rex gets a square. You want me to take all the hosting dudes?

[Corey]

You know what? If it makes it work.

[Dr. Trump]

All right, fella, pick a squire.

[Corey]

Okay. What's his name?

[Casey]

Antony. Paul.

[Dr. Trump]

Paul, pick a squire.

[Tracy Morgan]

Top right Trump.

[Dr. Trump]

Top right Trump. We take you down to Trump for the top right side. By that, Corey, you've been usurped.

[Corey]

Apparently, President Trump.

[Brady]

What is it? Black Lady Brady, who I love deep down, and I'd love to make a belly full of romance with you.

[Dr. Trump]

Oh, Lord, he's getting me all bossed. I can tell if it's sweat or if it's excitement or if it's some sort of Discharge. I should go see your doctor anyway.

[Corey]

No, no.

[Dr. Trump]

An appreciation of dark humor indicates you are an emotion emotionally unstable person. You agree or disagree, Dr. Trump?

[Brady]

I'm not a doctor, but I like that you said that. I like. I like. I like dark humor. I like dark people. I like. I like it dark. I like it dark.

[Casey]

Dark chocolate.

[Brady]

I like. I like my ladies so dark that their nickname is under the bed. I like my ladies so dark that when they lean on a wall, the roadrunner laughs and a coyote smashes into them, thinks they're a tunnel. I like them. Flavor is your champagne. I like my ladies acme dark is what I'm saying. I like my humor in my ladies the same. I would very much, Black Lady Brady, love to give you a little orange cream. Oh, is that your shirt?

[Dr. Trump]

Here we go. Now, Creamsicle, I'd like you to be my midnight mistress.

[Brady]

Sneak into the White House after dark and I'll find you with the lightning bugs. They'll be all around you. Oh, sir, no.

[Dr. Trump]

Answer the question, Dr. Trump. I'm going crazy.

[Brady]

I'll say that's false. I don't know. I don't know for sure, but I'll say that's false. All right.

[Dr. Trump]

Boy on the phone, he say false.

[Brady]

Well, repeat the question.

[Dr. Trump]

Oh, my God. Appreciation of dark humor means you're emotionally unstable.

[Brady]

He say false, say false.

[Dr. Trump]

You agree with the president?

[Brady]

Correct.

[Dr. Trump]

All right, you got that one.

[Casey]

Circle.

[Corey]

Get the square.

[Casey]

He's a smart boy.

[Brady]

Holy moly.

[Dr. Trump]

Corey, move over to his mic. This is hard to do.

[Brady]

It's out of control now.