01-16-26 - Football Fans In Phoenix Don't Get To Talk About Football Weather Like In Other Cities - Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Summary5 min read

Episode Overview

Theme:
This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness takes a humorous look at the way Phoenix football fans experience "football weather," contrasting the city’s warm conditions with the frigid, storied atmospheres of classic football towns like Chicago. The crew digs into why Arizona teams don’t leverage their unique climate for a home-field advantage and reminisces about enduring the heat as young athletes. They also preview the upcoming NFL playoff matchups, bantering about weather, fan culture, and the perennial disappointments of local teams.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Phoenix and the Myth of “Football Weather”

Holmberg kicks things off by poking fun at Phoenix fans who claim to experience “football weather,” joking that locals watch icy games from their “80 degrees” of comfort:
- “We can say it because that football weather is on our TVs and we’re sitting in 80 degrees watching football weather. I’d much rather be in this.” (01:01)
He makes a point that most players would prefer good weather (“Ask anybody playing football: would you rather play in Chicago...or 77?”) (01:13)
There's a recurring joke about “football weather” being a concept best left to people actually stuck in the cold, not Arizonans.

2. Why Don’t Arizona Teams Exploit the Heat?

John Holmberg expresses disappointment that neither the Arizona Cardinals nor other local teams have ever truly capitalized on the region's heat, especially at their original outdoor stadiums:
- “The city has never taken advantage of the heat. Ever.” (02:24)
Building a domed stadium erased any potential heat advantage:
- "They play indoors anyway. So even if it does have any sort of weather, they’ll just block it. They took away any element advantage by doming them totally." (00:53)
The crew jokes about the failed plans for cooling outdoor stadiums with canopies and misters and how attempts at heat adaptation, like scheduling games at Sun Devil Stadium, seldom worked because fans refused to sit in "120 degrees."

3. Parental and Cultural Shifts in Handling Heat

Holmberg blames the move away from heat tolerance on evolving societal attitudes:
- "You know who I blame? Women. It's true." (02:42)
- He facetiously blames the fear of children getting heatstroke for ruining the toughness tradition of desert sports.
Endearing anecdotes from childhood sports days reflect a “walk it off” mentality:
- "Dads make you walk off a heat stroke. I probably had 20 of them growing up here. Didn’t even know it.” (03:23)
- “My dad’s big rule was as a kid: if you got dizzy, don’t put ice on his neck. It’ll make it worse. [...] He was not a doctor. He didn’t know what he was talking about. Probably right, though.” (04:11–04:17)

4. Reminiscences About Playing in the Heat

Brady and others join in recalling youth sports:
- How water was a privilege, not a right, and coaches withheld it to push kids to “earn it.”
  - Brady: “I remember football that you earned water. You weren’t getting the plays right...No water break until you get it right.” (04:38)
- The group jokes about modern parents needing fancy water for kids: “You need to get at least a Brita or some, you know, Dasani or something.” (05:41)

5. NFL Playoff Insights & Weather Predictions

Holmberg previews the weekend’s NFL playoffs, focusing on how true “football weather” could give classic teams—like the Bears—a real advantage:
- “I think the Bears take advantage of that this weekend. The Rams going up there, spending time in 17 degrees before the wind chill kicks in, 40% chance of snow. That’s a Bears win.” (05:58)
Brief team-by-team analysis:
- Jaguars praised as “most complete team in the AFC” despite not being spectacular on either side of the ball. (06:19)
- Texans lauded for their defense.
- NFC predictions conclude with a minor upset call—Seahawks over 49ers.
Emotional send-up of football’s impending postseason end:
- “I announce it now because it’s a three day weekend. We get football. And I think that Monday you should reflect on a couple things. You know, the life and times of Martin Luther King, obviously, but also all that football’s given us for the past 20 weeks. Because it’s going away in a couple weeks.” (06:54–07:13)
- The Thursday-without-football “mourning” sentiment is repeated with tongue-in-cheek dramatics.

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

On Phoenix “Football Weather”:
- Holmberg: “That’s football weather. That’s the most pinheaded, insensitive thing you can say to anybody.” (01:31)
On Arizona’s lost stadium advantage:
- “They took away any element advantage by doming them totally.” (00:53)
On generational toughness:
- “Dads make you walk off a heat stroke. I probably had 20 of them growing up here. Didn’t even know it.” (03:23)
On fatherly wisdom:
- “My dad’s big rule was as a kid, if you got dizzy, don’t put ice on his neck. It’ll make it worse. He was not a doctor. He didn’t know what he was talking about. Probably right, though.” (04:11–04:17)
On playoff emotion and gratitude:
- “So thank you MLK and football. It’s very nice of you. It’s lovely.” (07:28)

Segment Timestamps

00:00–01:45: NFL playoffs and “football weather” in Phoenix
01:46–03:00: Why Phoenix doesn’t use the heat for home-field advantage
03:01–05:00: Childhood sports in Arizona’s heat; generational attitude change
05:01–06:53: Youth sports anecdotes, need for “better water,” continued jabs at “football weather”
06:54–07:33: NFL playoff previews, end-of-season blues, gratitude for football

Tone & Style

The episode is loose, funny, and affectionate about both Arizona culture and football. There's plenty of playful sarcasm, lively banter, and over-the-top takes on generational differences and the mythology of “football weather.” Holmberg keeps the tone irreverent, often exaggerating or lampooning traditional gripes about sports and society.

In Summary

Holmberg and the crew lampoon the idea that Phoenix fans really “get” football weather, reflect nostalgically (and critically) on how heat and toughness are handled in local sports, and preview a set of NFL playoff games where—somewhere else—real winter football will be played. The episode is as much a sendup of Arizona’s climate and culture as it is a football podcast, making local sports trivia and armchair analysis entertaining for all listeners.

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Transcript6 lines

[00:00]
A
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Cruising through and all we're talking about off here. Here is the NFL playoffs for this weekend. Painfully each of our teams kind of bouncing out Brady. But you got the Seahawks for Toledo and the Bears for Brett. The weather. This is going to be an awesome spot and I do love that people have the nerve in Phoenix to say that's football weather. We can say it because that football weather is on our TVs and we're sitting in 80 degrees watching football weather. I'd much rather be in this. Ask anybody playing football. Would you rather play in Chicago? The wind's whipping, it's 18 degrees, it's snowing or 77. They'd be like, are you send me to Sofi, I'm going to la. That's football weather. That's the most pinheaded, insensitive thing you can say to anybody. You're not doing that. We have it. We have it made here. Why this Cardinals suck so bad. Not only is it always nice here in a resort so you can relax, they play indoors anyway. So even if it does have any sort of weather, they'll just block it. They took away any element advantage by doming them totally. You could have been from the beginning of September to the middle of October off to a great start annually because you're gas. The reason that they don't take advantage of that is because fans would hate would be. You saw Sun Devil Stadium even when the Cardinals were good. It was like I'm not sitting outside in 120 degrees. But there's ways around that. They had a design for Sun Devil Stadium before they built that thing over there in Glendale to put canopies up that were the initial like they had misters over the people who would have and they 20 degree drops like that would have been great. And plus the players on the field don't get affected by that. So Frank Kush used to say it all the time, if you're hot, the guys across the sidelines are 10 times hotter because at least you're used to it. And Mark Malone came into that one time, said we beat usc. They were like the number one team in the country. And Frank made sure the game started at 1. It was August. And he said and we were out of gas in the first quarter or in the first week of practices. He killed us outside. Said just you'll see when USC comes to town. And he said by the time the game rolled around. First quarter was hot. We looked over and there were guys laying down plants. They're pouring water on people. They didn't know what to do with this. They beat him. The city has never taken advantage of the heat. Ever. You know who I blame? Women. It's true. Because you have one. One angel, my baby dropped like you can't have anybody, you know, have heat exhaustion. We had it at Dobson High that one time and a kid passed out during a practice and I gotta stop everything. And then, you know, they'll have a couple of them where they died. But that was just because the coaches weren't hydrating them and filling them up. Take advantage of that. I think in high school it's a little different because everybody's playing in the heat. But why do we care about the pros? We don't care about high school kids. They play in August. It's hot as hell here in August. And they play outside. Those pros can do it. The college guys can do it. Take advantage of it. Dobson High used to play Mountain View right there in 105 degrees. And showed up the sun wasn't on you. Game started at 7:30. We were fine. Little League. I played in July. They'd stuff us out on a field. Nobody complained. But one little precious angel drops and there's no dad at home. Suddenly nobody's allowed outside anymore and more of those angels started dropping. Well, because there were no dads at home. Dads make you walk off a heat stroke. I probably had 20 of them growing up here. Didn't even know it. Log it off, pour some water in his mouth. He's fine. My dad's big rule was as a kid, if you got dizzy, don't put ice on his neck. It'll make it worse.
[04:12]
B
Huh?
[04:12]
A
That sounds great, though. Nope. Cool water at best. You'll go into shock. He was not a doctor. He didn't know what he was talking about. Probably right, though. So he would pour tepid hose water on anybody that looked like they were about to go out. Get him a glass of Gatorade. And we were back on the field. That dizzy little guy was standing there at third base. I don't remember my mom's name. I don't care. Crouch down if the ball comes to you or not.
[04:38]
B
Ready?
[04:40]
A
Okay. Mr. Holmberg? That's right. Jesus Christ. This kid out here. Oh. Well. Did. Did you wake up this morning expecting to be in Tahiti? It's hot here. He's right. Didn't have any dead kids. But we had A lot of. I'll say this, we had a lot of wet kids. My dad was a big one for pouring water on my friends. Pour water on him. I thought we were all grass. Water it. I remember football that you earned water. You weren't getting the plays right or whatever. No water break until you get it right. Yeah, if a coach tried that here, you'd have dead kids everywhere. And try the Dan Holberg method. Just drench them. Get a Home Depot bucket. Yeah, he looks. Garth looks bad out there. Just see the bubbles over the kid's head. Go out and pour water on him and he's like, he's fine. Can't dump hose water over those angels. You need to get at least a Brita or some, you know, Dasani or something. It's true. But. But we have the nerve here to go, that's football weather, you people. No, it's not. That's just bad weather. But I think the Bears take advantage of that this weekend. The Rams going up there, spending time in 17 degrees before the wind chill kicks in, 40% chance of snow. That's a Bears win. Then you move over to the Broncos and Bills. I don't know what the weather's going to be like in Denver. That's an interesting game. But I'm after watching a little bit more last week and this week of that Jacksonville Jaguars team, I think they're the most complete team in the afc. I think they've got a good defense and a good offense. Neither are great. They're playing. Yeah, neither are great, but they're sound on both sides and that's pretty amazing. That Texans defense is definitely real. And then you go to the NFC and you're like, man niner Seahawks. That's a. I think the Seahawks will win it. But Denver, Saturday or Sunday, I don't know. It's a rivalry game. We got good football this week, 41 degrees. And I announce it now because it's a three day weekend. We get football. And I think that Monday you should reflect on a couple things. You know, the life and times of Martin Luther King, obviously, but also all that football's given us for the past 20 weeks. Because it's going away in a couple of weeks. I know. And we don't really. We get all excited about the playoffs, but yesterday was the first Thursday night we haven't had a football game for 20 weeks in April draft. Oh, that's all you got to look forward to. So you're a couple weeks away from letting this glorious thing disappear. Mine went away Monday and I'm still in mourning, but at least I've got a couple of games to kind of follow until it all goes away completely. Football, it's glorious. So thank you MLK and football. It's very nice of you. It's lovely. I got an entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98k.
[07:34]
B
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