01-16-26 - Theft And Finding Money Morality Reactions/Emails - Google Founder's Son's ImANazi Yacht - Model Eaten By Croc Wouldn't Be A Headline If She Was Fat - Bride Divorces New Groom After He Pulls Cake Prank At Reception

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, 01-16-26

Episode Title: Theft And Finding Money Morality Reactions/Emails - Google Founder's Son's ImANazi Yacht - Model Eaten By Croc Wouldn't Be A Headline If She Was Fat - Bride Divorces New Groom After He Pulls Cake Prank At Reception
Air Date: January 16, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast: 98KUPD Arizona

---

Episode Overview

This episode zeroes in on morality and social commentary, weaving together personal anecdotes, listener emails, viral news stories, and the hosts' trademark irreverent humor. The crew debates the ethics of keeping found money, unpacks celebrity and billionaire shenanigans, discusses media biases, and lampoons the rituals of modern weddings—all while riffing on current headlines and social trends.

---

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Found Money & Theft: Morality and Listener Stories

Timestamps: 00:15–05:34

• Brady’s Confession: Brady admits to a small “theft” as a child—double-dipping for free Halloween cookies by switching masks. John ribbing him:

  "You waited for your statute of limitations to be up on that one. Shane, turn yourself in." (00:41, John)

• Morality of Keeping Found Money: Listener Lee suggests the ‘moral’ protocol if you find cash—give your contact info to store staff without disclosing the amount to ensure the rightful owner can identify it.
• John’s Gambler Mishaps: Absent-minded money loss—John describes finding thousands in his sock drawer and losing (and eventually retrieving) an $8,000 casino ticket thanks to loyalty card tracking.

  “I dropped $8,000 in a gaming ticket at the Aria in Vegas… Security was staring at me like ‘how much was it?’” (03:42, John)

• Ethics and Consequences: Conversation slides into how bragging about misdeeds can backfire, shifting to sexual harassment cases and legal nuances.

---

2. Viral Outrage: The "IMANAZI" Yacht

Timestamps: 09:01–11:30

• Billionaire Yacht Scandal: Discussion about Larry Ellison’s son naming his yacht “Izanami”—which eagle-eyed observers noted is “I’m a Nazi” spelled backwards.

  “Spelled backward, Izanami is 'I’m a Nazi'... You liar, you did it. I’m a Nazi backwards!” (09:09, John)

• Cultural Justification?: The defense that “Izanami” means “fruitful tree” in Japanese is dismissed by the hosts, who call out the blatant trolling. Debate over public accountability for wealthy figures.
• Notable Irony: Despite the uproar, Ellison’s son is described as pro-Israel, making the intended joke even weirder.

---

3. Attractive Victims & Media Bias: The Crocodile Story

Timestamps: 13:12–16:09

• Sensational Headlines: News breaks of a “fashion model eaten by a crocodile” in Australia, which prompts John to comment on media prioritizing beauty:

  “If it wasn’t a fashion model, it wouldn’t be a story. And it certainly wouldn’t say, ‘fat pig eaten by crocodile.’” (13:13, John)

• Nature’s Dangers Down Under: Anecdotes pile up—deadly jellyfish, sharks, and crocs. Irreverent riffing on why Australians stay indoors.

---

4. Wedding Cake Prank Leads to Divorce

Timestamps: 19:54–29:49

• Viral Story: A bride divorces her groom two days into marriage after he smashes her face in the wedding cake, despite her telling him not to.

  “You were marrying a prankster who thought it would be fun and playful to smash your face into cake. I don’t like that joke.” (20:51, John)

• Cultural Take: The hosts riff on wedding traditions, the expectations around “the special day,” and how men are generally indifferent to the wedding planning.
• Gender Differences in Romance: The debate expands—hosts claim men are more “romantic” because they’d marry for love regardless of profession or income, while they say women care more about financial standards.

  “We are the romantic ones. Men are the romantic ones. Because we could meet you at Circle K.” (29:58, John)

---

5. Gender, Relationships, and Double Standards

Timestamps: 24:23–32:51

• Monetary Standards in Dating: The hosts recall a viral video where women set six-figure income minimums for partners, while men claim they care less about income, more about attraction.
• “Hot Felon” & Homelessness: Commentary on how physical looks and fame can override social class—“hot felon” gets modeling contracts; “pretty homeless girl” gets handouts.
• Realism about Love: Anecdotes about marrying servers, kitchen staff—arguing men “date down” and women don’t.

---

6. Wedding Expenses, Traditions, and the Futility of Big Weddings

Timestamps: 35:00–51:07

• Exorbitant Costs: The team bemoans the cost of modern weddings ($25k–$100k), recounting personal tragedies where a lavish wedding ended in divorce.
• Call for "Wedding Insurance": Humorous pitch for a new business: refund policies for failed weddings.

  “You should insure your parents’ wedding money. Because if it doesn’t work... you’re getting killed.” (37:21, John)

• Wedding Attendance & Gifting: Rants about feeling socially obligated to attend weddings, how guests never truly matter to most couples, and the “timeshare” nature of ceremonies.

  “It’s a timeshare. You have to sit through this presentation in order to see your friends. It’s awful.” (48:33, John)

• Alternative Gifting: Suggestion to skip attendance and send valuable gifts (like plane tickets), which would be more meaningful to the couple.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Morality with Found Money:

  “You know who's not [bad]? Shane Orlando...I used to go switch masks, go back in, and get all the cookies...I was 8 and it was fun.” (00:38, John)

• Casino Mishaps:

  “I dropped $8,000 in a gaming ticket...Security goes, ‘How much was it?’...he comes back and hands it to me.” (03:42, John)

• Yacht Controversy:

  “Izanami...I’m a Nazi backwards! It's hilarious... but not a word you want to toy with on your billionaire yacht.” (09:09, John)

• Media Bias:

  “If it wasn’t a fashion model, it wouldn’t be a story. And it certainly wouldn’t say, ‘fat pig eaten by crocodile’…” (13:13, John)

• Wedding Absurdities:

  “If you can't handle a pie to the face, you're not gonna make it through any marriage.” (32:51, John) “No straight man plans a wedding with glee ever. No straight man's got a picture of grooms in his hope chest.” (23:21, John)

• On Gift Protocol:

  “Brady's gonna wait his standard six months to give Kirby a wedding present.” (43:08, Brett)

---

Segment Timestamps for Reference

• Morality of Found Money & Theft: 00:15–05:34
• Sexual Harassment Statutes & Cosby Segment: 05:34–09:01
• Izanami Yacht / IMANAZI Controversy: 09:01–11:30
• Model Eaten by Croc & Media Coverage: 13:12–16:09
• Australian Water Dangers & Whale Anecdotes: 16:09–19:54
• Wedding Prank, Divorce & Groom-Bashing: 19:54–32:51
• Weddings, Expenses & Insurance Rant: 35:00–51:07

---

Tone & Style

The tone is fast-paced, sarcastic, and irreverent. The hosts frequently self-deprecate and openly question societal conventions with a blend of cynicism and humor. Storytelling is loose and tangent-prone, intertwining personal anecdotes with cultural critique.

---

For New Listeners

This episode spotlights the show’s signature: blending Arizona-focused banter with no-holds-barred takes on national headlines, always questioning accepted wisdom and finding the comic underbelly of modern life. If you enjoy comedic social commentary, insider stories, and group ranting, you’ll fit right in.

---

Listen For:

• “Izanami” = “I’m a Nazi,” billionaire yacht name (09:01)
• Fashion model vs. “fat pig” headline analysis (13:13)
• Men as the “romantic” gender, wedding realism (29:58)
• Wedding insurance business pitch (37:21)
• Obligation and apathy toward wedding attendance (48:33)

---

End of summary.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories.

[Brady]

Walker told me I had aids. There we go. And we're running. I'm getting better at adding my little clips in Thomas James Band, leaving me plenty of spaces to make my own little quilt out of the song that starts each and every show. I like it. It's Friday already. This is awesome. I'm getting all your stories about everybody who's stolen, like Brady did yesterday, and they're all bad. All of you. You know who's not? Shane Orlando. Shane's. Shane's big. Oh, I did a bad thing was said as a young boy around Halloween. I used to go to King Supers, which was a grocery store where I lived, and they gave all the kids free cookies during Halloween. You go in in a Halloween mask, you get a cookie, then you and your friends would go switch masks, go back in, he said, and get all the cookies. That's what we would do for like an hour. I was 8 and it was fun. Everybody loves cookies. I'm like, oh, you should. You waited for your statute of limitations to be up on that one. Shane, turn yourself in. Yeah, everybody's got a story. Lee says this. Oh, this is a good one, Brady. You could go back and do this. If your morality is tested by your. Your theft yesterday says the moral way to find and keep money is to leave your phone number with the employees. Don't tell them how much you found. But if somebody comes in looking for lost money to contact you, they know the amount before you turn it over. Your. Your plan with that one as a moral boundary, a moral guardrail. Because. Because think about it right now. If I asked you, how much money do you have loose in your pocket? Cause yesterday I didn't even know it. But laundry. You've seen me, Brett. I'm like, hey, look, a hundred bucks just fell out of my. I had a wadded up 100. I reached my other pocket the other day, and there was like 400 bucks. I don't know when I had that cash. I hadn't worn those pants in probably a year. Maybe. I went to the casino, but it was a wad of washed money. I would have not known if I'd have reached into my pocket and hey, I had 100 bucks in there. That 400 fell out. So I would have been back and go, hey, I dropped a hundred bucks in here. And somebody find it like, mmm, it's not the amount he found. Liar. Now you're gonna hear it.

[Brett]

Cha, ching, cha.

[Brady]

Yeah, that was a. Trust me. I work hard, and then I don't go through my pocket. It just goes in. If you wanted to do my laundry, you could make a decent living off of me. With my pocket washed money. I go find things that I'm like, when.

[Charlie]

That's what she found. Oh, Megan's got a great retirement, maybe.

[Brady]

Oh, she should. Yeah, she's covered. The. If I. If you go open the top drawer. My sock drawer. I was digging through my sock drawer the other day, and I found four casino slips worth 1700 bucks. And I'm like, what? And they were wrapped around 20s. So evidently, I came back from the casino, like, and that was 11 months old. I have, like a month to redeem these. I'm like, yikes. And I felt like, I gotta get to that casino. And there was probably another 200 bucks in cash. I just wrapped it up and put it in the sock drawer and then covered it with socks. Like, don't forget that's there. And completely forgot, like, $2,000 sitting in the sock drawer. Like, what did I do that for? One of the finer hay. We found it, but it was. It's tracked. I dropped $8,000 in a gaming ticket at the Aria in Vegas.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

Fell out of my shorts. I was playing a game, and I was waiting, and I went back and I went up to the next place I needed to be, and I reached my pocket, and I'm like, I won eight grand. And it was on a ticket, and I don't have it. So I ran back down to the casino, and it wasn't on the floor. The guy that was sitting next to me was still there. And I'm like, hey, did you see a ticket? And he goes, no. Somebody did pick one up, though. I'm like, oh. And I went over to the security thing, and I'm like, dropped it. I know I'm not gonna see this. This is my ass. And he goes, oh, no, we'll find it. And he goes, how much was it? And I said, it was eight even. 8,000. And he looked at me, and he's just staring at me. And I'm like. And he goes back, and he comes back and hands it to me. He goes, somebody dropped this off. You're lucky. But you can't play those tickets because had that person put it in a machine. It comes with registers as mine. Yeah. So they.

[Charlie]

That's why it's important to put your card in, right?

[Brady]

I always play with a card. Yeah. Because it came up like barcoded as mine. But he's like, you know, well, he.

[Charlie]

Gave it to me.

[Brady]

Yeah. And he told me. And when I told him the amount, he's like, here you go. And that made me realize that there's an awful lot of those tickets. Because the way that guy looked at me, like, how much was it? Like he had a bunch of them back there. That wasn't the only one someone found. How much? Because I could have said 25,000. He might have had a $25,000 ticket back there and go on this one. But they can code it or I.

[Brett]

Wonder if it's a case of like, even if it is, you know, even if the guy didn't turn it in, they already know it's on your card. They just give it to you. And then when Knob tries to play.

[Brady]

It, then that could be. But they didn't know I lost it and they didn't turn it in and that guy's playing it and I had not come back.

[Brett]

Avoids the original ticket.

[Brady]

But if that guy had already bet at all, it didn't matter anymore. Oh, yeah.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Because. Because if I came back, if I didn't realize it for like four hours and came back and said, hey, I lost a grand and that guy's already spent it, it's over.

[Charlie]

I mean, imagine how many they have that. That are not to that amount, but like 102.

[Brady]

Oh, tons of those.

[Charlie]

And you're just. They're hammered. They never knew it dropped out.

[Brady]

Yeah. Horrifying. Yeah. This guy says the balls on that KJ guy emailing you. Haven't we learned that these so called laws don't really apply. Guys are being locked up and paying the price for making women feel unsafe or used for stuff that happened in the 80s. This idiot couldn't wait to tell people about his heist and he thinks he's untouchable. Good luck, dude. The people who brag are the ones the system finds a way to grab. That's true. The dangerous thing about getting nabbed with a woman and the sexual harassment things are like, oh, he touched me in the 80s. Is they can. They made repressed memories. The restart button. That was the Cosby argument. It's like this happened when, like, even if statute of limitations are up, and she goes, yeah, but she didn't have some of these memories up until a few years ago. So the statute of limitation starts over. The second she starts remembering it, I'm like, ooh, loop. Don't. Don't do that. Well, on top of the fact you shouldn't sexually assault women by drugging them and sucking their feet. I mean, he was wrong twice. But Bill Cosby probably sat to him. Time is up on 17 years, and I can tell you that eraped the char. That lady looked like John McEnroe. Like, wait a minute. She didn't remember all the details that started over what to see. But you can't bring back the past. And the things with the rape and the sucking. And the sucking and the rape. He's still alive. Never would have guessed with all the stress and pressure he went through going blind and everybody hating him.

[Charlie]

He never went to jail, Right?

[Brady]

He did go to jail. He got bounced out, though, recently. But he. Yeah, he. He did go sit in jail for a while, teaching all the kids how to be better people. That's what he did there in jail. Brett, the first thing you learn is how to read and write. Be a better reader, be a better writer. Second thing you learn is not rape. But I lost those battles. But I could read. Hey, hey, hey. I raped somebody today. See, Fat Albert didn't know the rules.

[Charlie]

He just might bone something today.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, look at you and your Seahawks jersey by super bowl tickets yet.

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

Okay. But I do have a connection, actually. That would be a smart thing to do.

[Brett]

What?

[Brady]

Yeah. No. Now, buy super bowl tickets, because the resale on those, no matter who's in it, is huge. When you tried to buy this, The World Series tickets, when the Mariners were going to. Then it became regional. Right. Then you had. I mean, you still sold World Series tickets, but it wouldn't have been like, super bowl tickets. You buy them, go to anything. Yeah. Anyway, I believe Cosby got out of.

[Brett]

Prison because of COVID if you remember.

[Brady]

Right. Was it Covid that got him out? I don't know. Either he didn't go because of COVID or they let him out because of.

[Charlie]

COVID Yeah, that's right. I was thinking. I don't know if he actually went in.

[Brady]

Oh, he went to jail. I know he went to jail. He was in a jail cell for a while, and. Pretty awesome. Just every night you go to bed, if you. If your brain would go, hey, Bill Cosby's asleep right now in a jail cot. And we're like, wow, my life. I would have never guessed. But there's a. Another thing where, like, Brady brought this up and KJ did it, too. We got to stop acting like we believe people when they say that they're trying to get away with one. There's a tech billionaire who has a yacht.

[Charlie]

Just building the new yacht is I.

[Brady]

He is a co founder of Oracle. His name is Larry Ellison. Right?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

His firstborn, David Ellison in particular has been following in his foot father's footsteps and they're billionaire people. They're, you know, so they've got a, you know a lot of stuff and one of the things they have is a yacht. So they got a new yacht and on the back of it they named the boat Izanami. I saw this. Did you? Yeah. And then people immediately saw it written on the back of the boat and went, you son of a bitch. Like immediately. And he thought he was going to get away with this. Right. Spelled backward Izanami as I'm a Nazi because it's I Z A N am I? I'm a Nazi backwards. And like. Oh, I didn't realize. Well, what is Izanami? It's a word in Japan that means fruitful, bountiful, tree, bull. You liar, you did it. I'm a Nazi backwards. And it's hilarious. You thought it was hilarious? Just. Yeah, I'm getting tired of that when people just, just get punched in the gut and say I got punched in the gut. You got me. Like just do it. It's not against the law to say I'm a Nazi. Oracle's worth billions. You, you're right. You're going to be just fine. You can't lose your. Nobody at Oracle is going to make you go away. And if they do, your daddy's gotcha.

[Charlie]

Do we need to look into him to clarify that he's not a Nazi?

[Brady]

Yeah, people will look in but in the end it's not going to matter that much. But Izanami, you've got some eagle eyed racists out there that can see. You know, when we're kids we're taught this. I think that's what that weird game where you circle the letters diagonally or backwards, you know those, they're not training.

[Charlie]

Good training.

[Brady]

It's good training for when somebody's trying to search. Word search. Yeah, word searches. Like for when you can see stuff backwards you find words where they're not supposed to be. And Nazi backwards is Nazi. Like you. Oh, forward, front, up and down, sideways, diagonal, you're gonna find Nazi. If in fact you're doing a word search and one of the words is Nazi, it's, it's jumping off the page. It's going to be the first one you circle.

[Charlie]

And if it's the whole crowd that he's running with, a lot of times at Least there's five or six buddies that he's talking about. Yeah, I'm building my. In my boat. What are you naming it? He had to throw that out there a couple of times.

[Brady]

Here's the problem. That's hilarious. If you wrote it down like, oh, that's interesting. Then. And then you just. What does it mean? Bountiful fruit tree. Japan. Like, nah. And then nobody would. It's like, you keep telling people that the second it was on the boat, people knew. Now, here's the crazy twist in this. He's good friends with Benjamin Netanyahu and, like, a super Israeli supporter. Like, he loves that. So he thought, well, I love the Jews. They'll get it. Like, he threw the little Mel Brooks at him. Throws the. I'm a Nazi out there. Not a word you want to toy with on your billionaire yacht. Yeah. It's just. Come on, just admit it. Yeah. I didn't think anybody'd see it, but I guess the word Nazi in print, even backwards, just screams. And when you've got a yacht, Brett, you and I walking around the seashore there, we're gonna see a yacht go, whoa. And what's the first thing you say? I wonder what its name is. I'm gonna. I'm looking at every square inch of this thing. Like, that's beautiful. I'm a Nazi. Oh, my God. Do you see what I see? It would be hilarious, but also. Very wrong. People want me to keep shooting the baby also, by the way, which I'm not gonna do. But I think it's. I put enough, and I put enough lead in that dark joke. You never know. I'm going to do this for three days. Because I read the Bible. It could come back. I got into an algorithm, too, of. Because I clicked on this story, and the headline made me laugh. Because you've never seen a headline where the opposite. It says, fashion model eaten by crocodile in front of tourists.

[Charlie]

Oh.

[Brady]

If it wasn't a fashion model, it wouldn't be a story. And it certainly wouldn't say, fat pig eaten by crocodile in front of Taurus or disgusting ugly person. The fact that it was a model led the headline. And she's very pretty. Or was before the crocodile got her. Look at that. 98. What?

[Charlie]

98.

[Brady]

No way.

[Charlie]

Home.

[Brady]

Morning sickness. Yeah. Pretty lady swimming around.

[Charlie]

Croc meat.

[Brady]

Yeah. And an estuaryan crocodile in the Australian outback nabbed her. And evidently, just death roll beyond. Like, just smashing and turn and cutting her in half, going back, eating her head. And all the tourists just stood back like, what the. And just mangled her. She's 24. She was at a ski resort and couldn't be. You know, it's the opposite of, like, what most people think of Australia. Just the. The desolate outback and they have, like, other stuff. But she said it was they. She got eaten there and was she.

[Charlie]

Taking a photo or anything? I mean, she.

[Brady]

I would imagine near the water. Yeah, she was down there messing around in the water and we grabbed her and pulled her in and then just started to, like, flair.

[Brett]

So then.

[Brady]

The next story I get is that a mom on an Australian beach. This one's horrible. Got. Didn't her. Her kids see her out there and looks like she's laying on their surfboard and they swim out there and realize that a great white shark bit off everything but her head and her head stayed on board.

[Charlie]

Oh, my God, that's a big shark.

[Brady]

Kids go swimming out there, it's like, oh, there's no more, like, just her. Like, her shoulders and stuff. So don't click on stories that start with model eaten alive by crocodile, because the next four stories, you're not going to be eating that night. It's pretty good, though. But, yeah, just stay out of there.

[Charlie]

Just.

[Brady]

You know, they have signs in Australian beaches if you ever make the flight that say, beware of box jellyfish and estuarian crocodiles. And that is enough to keep me out of the water. It's like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz. Beware. Like, the minute you see that sign, like, this isn't good. There's nothing good after beware. And then they tell you what to beware of. That means they've had incidents. Estuary and crocodiles. What's that? And there's salt water and fresh water. They can do both. And they also live on land. Like, I'm going in. Why? Enjoy the outdoors, mate. You're out of your mind. The sign says beware the trees throw apples here. I'm. I'm in a bad place. What's a box jelly? Ah, it's a invisible machine that lives in the water. If it touches you, you get 12 seconds to live.

[Charlie]

Tiny, hop in.

[Brady]

I'll teach you to surf. I'm like, nope, go to my room. Why did God invent the box jelly? Eh? He's a prankster, that guy. What's its function in the sea? Doesn't really have one other than to just kind of be a jellyfish. Do other things eat it? No. Nar. So it just stings people and then you die? Yep. And keep in Mind mate. It's only one of 30 different varieties of jellyfish we have floating around in our waters shallow. Have a great time here at the beach. Nope. Going in. I might as well stand on the freeway. It's safer. Australia is a great place, but city. Stay in the city. Don't wander often. You're gonna. People try to teach you to surf and kayak. And we went kayaking.

[Charlie]

Scuba diving. The Great Barrier.

[Brady]

Oh, scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef was great. But I was told German tourist a few months ago, everything went dark. Huh? Yeah. We were scuba diving and everything went dark. Like, what is. Why? Well, he was swallowed up by. It's a harmless toothless whale. Like what?

[Charlie]

The whale shark.

[Brady]

I don't know what it was, but it has no. It was like a giant whale with a three car garage mouth and they just swallow up everything. And then their tongues or whatever determines what food is. And you're in rubber mate. He's spitting you out. So I'm Jonah for a few seconds. Yeah. You just. It all goes dark.

[Charlie]

Relax.

[Brady]

And then you projectile vomited out of the whale. Like, this is. I paid for. I paid 75 yellow dollars for this. Right. Anyway, don't worry about it. The gym and guy was fine. And talk about a story. Yep. And we went scuba diving without any training or anything else. And I just worried the entire time that it was about to all go dark. And that's how the Sopranos ended. Don't worry about it. And I'm like, you ever heard a story from a guy who didn't get thrown up? You wouldn't hear that story, would you, mate? He's in it. While I'm like, okay, so the only guy that you know that had this happen, that lived, he's not going to. You made a rubber mate. What if this particular whale has a penchant for rubbers? You won't. Don't worry about it. Then don't bring it up. But evidently these things just swim along and you're just like, look, it's Nemo. And then you're like, what happened to the light? Oh, why is everything so wet? He just opens his mouth and swims and everything goes in.

[Charlie]

Gathering all the plankton, whatever.

[Brady]

And then you realize as you're scuba diving, because they do it, the silverfish and all the other ones, you get millions of like tons of food following you around. They just like motion. So as you're, you know, they're never in front of you. And then as you turn around, this incredible cascading amount of Fish that are like, well, that's just shark food. Don't worry about it. Might. And he gives you the A. Okay. Sign points to the top. Let's go. Up you go to the surface and. What the hell was that? Oh, I forgot to tell you. Little silverfish gonna follow you. They love the tourists and, like, they don't know where. Tourists. Yeah, but they lock it. Oh, but it's beautiful. Like, you're blinded by the glorious.

[Brett]

The colors.

[Brady]

It's colors you've never seen. You're on a different planet, but. But you have the constant fear of a giant whale swallowing you. He's not around, mate. It's too low. If we were in deeper water, which is about eight feet from here, then you'd have to worry. So if I drift off course a little bit. Yeah, that's where trouble is, mate. Sharks, whales, box jellies.

[Charlie]

Watch the current over here.

[Brady]

And then I ended up swimming around by myself. This is amazing. I was an idiot, but, yeah, everything in Australia is trying to kill you. So get me started on the cassowaries. And then I saw a headline I liked a lot says, woman divorces man two days after he pulls a wedding prank on her. And they're. They're giving this woman all the praise in the world for standing up.

[Charlie]

Good for you.

[Brady]

Can't believe his wedding prank was smashing her face into the cake. It ruined the photographs, and she's out. She divorced him. Her.

[Brett]

Tim. Sometimes.

[Brady]

Yeah, exactly. And now he doesn't have to pay. Like you're gonna know that. So he's not out anything. He. This is proof weddings need to end. Stop. Don't have the guy there. We don't need to be there. You don't want us there.

[Charlie]

Photographer or the groom? The groom.

[Brady]

Just go have your day. Cause you know what? You were marrying a prankster who thought it would be fun and playful to smash your face into cake. I don't like that joke. It's, you know, it's the vaudevillian joke of physical comedy. Into cake. But he thought it was funny, and you knew that about him. You know when you're with a cake to the face guy, right? And I've always thought it was funny, like you do a lot of weddings, Brett, that they act like it's so crazy that we're gonna feed each other cake. We're really just gonna smear it all over. It's like, oh, this old. So he took what was gonna happen anyway.

[Brett]

Hey, they kept it clean.

[Brady]

You have to say that. Yeah, exactly. You know, the Lines, Brett. Because no weddings are different. Every woman's special day is the same as every other woman.

[Brett]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

It's remarkably cookie cutter. And each one thinks they're getting some sort of a special treatment because you know why? They're selfish. And they look in the mirror that day and go, this day is for me, because I look so beautiful. They treat themselves like princesses. They look in that mirror. They have their hair and their makeup and everything else, and then they just go down the line of the most mundane, repeated thing in human history. There has not been one wedding I've been to that I'm like, wow, they really took chances. That was different. Never. They're all the same. Boring. But women confuse it because they've pampered themselves so much for the most spectacular day that's ever happened to any woman ever. And it's different because it's theirs. So don't have the guy go. Because if he wanted to, hey, I want to do a prank in the middle of it. We're not doing any pranks. Am I not involved in this? This is daily. I mean, it would be kind of fun for people to see us kind of goofing around. Right. It's not about that. We cut the cake, and we get the pictures, and then after, we feed each other cake, and then we smear like everyone else has done. Why don't I just smash your face into the cake? Don't you dare do that. I did my makeup for hours. Oh, God. This dude was a gift. I watched the video the other day.

[Charlie]

So he put her head first in the cake.

[Brady]

Yeah. While she was. She cut it like she did the stupid smile. Just hire a guy to stand next to you. And then the real groom, who didn't want to be there in the first place, will just sign the papers, and we'll. And he'll be like, I'm the real husband, but that guy looks great. And just make the pictures look better. You don't want us there because you don't ever. And then if we don't participate in weddings, you didn't even care about what color the napkins were.

[Charlie]

No.

[Brady]

Really?

[Brett]

I didn't.

[Brady]

No. No man ever has. Why do you think that any man would ever be different and planning. You know, if you've got a guy and you're about to get married and he's really involved in the wedding planning, you're gonna find out in about six years he's got a gay lover. No straight man plans a wedding with Glee ever. No straight man's Got a picture of grooms in his hope chest waiting to. Oh, I'm gonna wear that tuxedo. We wear the same thing as every other dude because it's like, what's the easiest. What do you wear? What's the uniform for this? Just a tuxedo. Cool. Okay. Powder blue, the color. Maybe you'll mix it up a little bit. Doubtful. And you're not getting a choice on that. I'm gonna wear this dumb and dumber. No, you are not. And then she goes and picture outfit. It's just dress them ups. I watched the thing online the other day and congratulations. This lady. All the comments are like, you stand up for yourself. A man who treat you like that at your wedding would probably abuse you later. Like, right? That's. He's fun. So you don't like fun people. That's. He wasn't right to do it, but come on.

[Brett]

No rings in any of those fingers.

[Brady]

Nope. All those chubby little fingers are full of cake because they're never missing their mouth with that. There was a guy who, who was online and he said something about to. He had a group of women in front of him and he was trying to prove that women are not romantic. Men are the romantic gender. And he said, I can prove it with one example. Would any of you in this room ever marry a guy who worked at Burger King? And all the girls are like, well, no. I need a man who's like, self sufficient and provides. Oh, he's. He lives on his own. But no, he can't. Like. And prior to that, he had asked them all, what's the minimum for a man to date you? Like, he has to make how much a year? None of them were below $120,000. And they weren't like supermodels. They were just decent, average. It's like, 120 is about right. And he said, now ask me that question. He goes, because no matter what I find with a woman, if I love her, I don't care how much she makes. Because none of you feel the same way. We're the romantic ones. You're the ones who are the takers. Damn. And I'm like, oh. And I'm sitting at home, I'm laughing quietly at home because I'm like, I shouldn't be laughing at this. I don't think I'm supposed to like this. But I. It was dead on the money. And it's true. No woman would ever meet the guy at Burger King taking her order and think he's the one. But A dude might. If a hot girl who just kind of winks and smiles at the Burger King. You're like, you're incredible. Think about, I would like to provide for. Yeah, yeah. That's what we. They got us snowed. The Nicolas Cage married his waitress from Sushiroku in Santa Monica, and people thought it was her romantic story was the.

[Charlie]

Trap of the Burger King.

[Brady]

Question that the guy owned the Burger King. Huh? No, no, no.

[Charlie]

Work.

[Brady]

That. No, he just worked. They understood it. Like, he's just the guy who's taking the money.

[Brett]

What if you said that to them.

[Brady]

And then said, well, he owns the Burger King. Right? That would have been a nice. That would have been. Oh, that's different.

[Charlie]

Oh, there.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But it was weird because he set them up by saying just, you know, random question and answer it how you feel. It's nothing wrong. No bad answers. How much minimum would it take for a man to. To be someone that you would consider dating? None of them were. One girl said $13 million.

[Charlie]

Yeah. So we know what she would have said, because it would be interesting saying, could you fall in love with someone that's making $45,000 a year?

[Brady]

But they fooled themselves with shows like Beauty and the Beast. Like, you know, if you fell in the sewer and met an animal and you fell in love and you didn't have any, but then it turned out, yeah, you watched that Beauty and the Beast, he had collected some really nice stuff. He was kind of a millionaire of the sewer. Like, he'd really done a nice job decorating. He had some gold candlesticks. He dressed nice. He had some stuff. 98. What? 98. No way. Holmberg's morning sickness. Vincent. And they were like, ah, so why can't I ever meet a man like that? It's because you're looking for money first. Most of them, yeah.

[Charlie]

I mean, it's hilarious because you'd ask a man, could you ever fall in love? It's just by the picture. With a woman that would look like this. Or this.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Makes no money. This one doesn't make any money. This one is actually in debt. Yeah, a little bit.

[Brady]

Dudes will pick them up.

[Charlie]

Absolutely.

[Brett]

What's your ass and cans look like?

[Brady]

Yeah, exactly. There's where our.

[Brett]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

There's where our standards left. But it was a great little.

[Brett]

We admit it, though. Yeah, we own it.

[Brady]

But that dude, his family got mad at him for smashing the face. He said, no pranks. He goes, it's not a prank. We were gonna do this in a minute anyway. I Beat her to the punch. It was part of the criteria that in a couple of hours or a couple of minutes, we're gonna be smearing cake on each. I thought I'd just jump it. That's not what the schedule said. Like, I thought this was our special day. I didn't realize I was. Don't even have it.

[Charlie]

Ruining the schedule. Well, you know what? At least she got it done early.

[Brett]

Now you just so happen to be there.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's. And you see those weddings you go to, the dudes are most just working the tuxedo. They're kind of like. I operate the suit for a couple hours, and then I say words. Nobody really cares. It's all about her.

[Charlie]

And what's the one thing you tell. Like, when I can remember hearing this multiple times, and then afterwards, like, they were right. You're like, you won't remember much about this fight.

[Brady]

No. And you. And then you realize this is the.

[Brett]

One you're 30, 40 grand in.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Somebody spent 25 to $50,000 on this thing. And you're like, we could have used that. Oh, I had a friend, I thought he was going to punch his wife once. They had an elaborate wedding, and this is 10, 12 years later. And she sat back and she goes, if I had it to do all over again, I probably would have just eloped or something. And then we could have used that money for the house back then. And I remember when they were going to get married, it was. They traveled to site location. I mean, airplane travel. Like, let's go see if San Luis Obispo is right. No, I don't want this. They spent a fortune looking for the place. Then the wedding they had was just this gigantic mess of people. Nobody could hear anything. It was dumb. And then she had the nerve to say that. And I remember he was. You know, he was probably 27. It was breaking his balls to. To make sure that she got everything she wanted. And then 15 years later, to have her sit there and go, probably would have just eloped. I suggested that about 30 times.

[Brett]

He didn't punch her in the face.

[Brady]

I wasn't going to stop him. I think it's fists balled up. I don't think. I think he's. He's a decent man.

[Brett]

He put a hole through the drywall in the bathroom, probably.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. I bet you there was a hole in the. In his punching room at home that night. That had to stink. But, yeah, we are the romantic ones. Men are the romantic ones. Because we could meet you at Circle K, we're the only we. And women will do that with like that. Remember the, the hot felon? Yeah, and Luigi Mangione and stuff like that. They stand up. But it's because he's famous. You wouldn't see the hot felon like this dude at the bus stop that's just making a mess here in 52nd, McDowell. Hey, by the way, dude, clean up your room. Have you seen the bus stop up here on 52nd, McDowell?

[Charlie]

No.

[Brady]

He's got like 18 bikes all taken apart. Clothes. He's got more stuff than I do all over this. But this bus stop is destroyed. 52nd street, just south of McDowell. Do yourself a favor and drive by the messiest homeless person I've ever seen in my life. But he could be. If he was hot and committed a crime, got a mug shot, he'd become a model. Right, because that's what happened to the hot felon years ago when he was Travis Meeks. Jeremy. Jeremy Meeks, Yeah. But he. Yeah, so this dude. But you don't meet him until they get famous. That ain't happening. But we had the heroin addict that was gorgeous that we used to drive around. And dudes, every time I saw that hot homeless girl that was begging for money at the Circle K or the quick Stop, there was always a guy pulling up going, can I help? Can I help? Like we were the nurturers.

[Brett]

Excuse me.

[Brady]

We were going to try to get that little angel to a shower quick. Too sweet. Get rid of these Circle K feet.

[Charlie]

And she always said, that went south quick.

[Brady]

Oh, boy. It was not, not too much. After we discovered the beautiful model, like a month later, the method kicked in. She looked terrible. She had her little sweats and she'd fold down the waistband and pull them up like she's an. And Larry, I. I came back from getting gas, we had something to do, and I said, hey, I just saw the prettiest homeless person I've ever seen in my life. And he goes, the dark haired one. I'm like, yeah, we got. We skipped half of a meeting, got in the car and drove back there just to circle that area. Just look at her. She's amazing. Her sign, people are just throwing money and she's all, you're just buying her loads of methods. And she was using it. But I bet you she got a proposal or two. We'll date waitresses or bus boy people or kitchen trolls. Female kitchen trolls. But women won't do that. We could find the love of our life serving drink somewhere. I did. I Just gonna say, there it is. I mean, she's a bad example because.

[Brett]

Now she owns the place.

[Brady]

She married down. Oh, that's absolutely. She found the Burger King kid. That just tells you how good you are. Excellent work. Anyway, so when you smash, it's a good test. If your wife divorces you because you mashed her face into the cake at the wedding, you got out of there. We need to make that the tradition. And now the annual dirty marital tradition of wife face smashing into the cake as we get. And just make it another thing. All right, everybody, who's ready for the wife to get mashed into the cake? That cake cost us $4200 and you ruined it. Yeah, I can tell you right now, if you can't handle a pie to the face, you're not gonna make it through any marriage. It's gonna get worse. There's gonna be days that are worse where you wish you had pie to lick off your face. Like Scooby Doo. This one says John. It sounds like that broad at her wedding would've rather had that guy smash her face into his crotch like Brady did to you. Yeah, but Brady and I weren't the ones getting married. Brady and I didn't get divorced after. In fact, I shook his hand. A hearty handshake after. Excellent work, my friend.

[Brett]

You didn't get mad at him and yell at him like a broad with the cake.

[Brady]

I could still feel the weird kind of fl. Fossilized burning of his ball sack somewhere in the side of my chin and cheek. It was an excellent move. Hilarious. It's good stuff. But yeah, if you're. If you smash. If you do a joke and she doesn't like it, well, there's not a lot you can do.

[Charlie]

And yeah, sure, she said not to do it. He's dumb for doing it.

[Brady]

No, you just found a humorless broad. Yeah, look. Yeah, but this didn't come out of the blue. This dude's been a. Again. You know, when you're marrying somebody who finds pie to the face funny. So cake to the face. It's like you might not have liked it, but really what it did was embarrass her. And if she can't be embarrassed a little bit by a dude, she shouldn't be with dudes. Cuz we're going to embarrass you here and there. For sure.

[Charlie]

For sure. It wasn't meant to be. It's a good. A good non mix either way.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, they should be.

[Charlie]

Because he was told not to do that.

[Brady]

But think of and he did it.

[Charlie]

But. But she's going to break up over that?

[Brady]

Yeah, she's going to divorce him. She was. She wasn't marrying that guy. She wanted a day for herself. It had nothing to. If she was willing to leave him for that. She wasn't in it for the long haul. She wanted her. Her friends probably have all been married in the last couple years. She's sick of being a bridesmaid.

[Brett]

Tock, tick, tock.

[Brady]

Exactly. So she's like, I'm locking this down and I don't even care with who. You better behave. And then at 48 hours, she wasn't willing to put up with that. She, prior to that was telling some priest. Forever. All forever, through everything. Anything that comes our way, I will. Forever pushes her face into cake. She's like, that's it. It's over. She wasn't sticking around. She wanted a day and he ruined her day.

[Charlie]

Her parents should have stepped up if they were paying for it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

No, no, you're staying in that.

[Brady]

Divorcing anybody. This is not happening. I get some sort of 90 day money back guarantee on this, right?

[Charlie]

You stay in this for two years and get half of his Burger King money.

[Brady]

You imagine, Brady, you spend the average of a wedding, which is about $35,000 now. It's insane. Crazy Kirby gets married and then sits you down two days later? It didn't work out. You gotta give it a week. Didn't work out, man. Sorry. I'm out 35 grand. Kerbert Herbs. I don't love him, man. You better learn to love him for $35,000 worth.

[Charlie]

Okay, honey, I'll take care of it.

[Brady]

Now.

[Brett]

You put a buyback on that.

[Charlie]

Why don't you just move back home?

[Brady]

Would you ever move back in in 48 hours and eat the 35 grand? You would.

[Charlie]

I'd be. Daddy loves you.

[Brady]

He would. You. She would marry a guy.

[Charlie]

We can always try again.

[Brady]

We'll do another one. Well, I did meet a guy at the divorce lawyers, man. We're getting married Saturday. I need another 35k, man. You got it. Curbin herbs. I found 50 bucks at the store. What was that now?

[Brett]

You put a buyback on the wedding. You don't make it a year, you're paying back.

[Brady]

There should be an insurance policy. Parents should be. I don't know if that's true or not, but there should be a wedding insurance for parents.

[Charlie]

Well, some parents plan.

[Brady]

No, I. No, no, no.

[Charlie]

But I'm saying do a separate account, just like a college fund.

[Brady]

It should be protected somehow. A wedding insurance plan should exist. We should start that company today where it's like, look, you give us for the first two years that we give us $80 a month, and we'll refund you 80% of whatever it costs. And what if it doesn't go past 24 months?

[Brett]

And they do it with flights, they do it with concerts.

[Brady]

I mean, everything has insurance. You should insure your parents wedding money. Because if it doesn't work, I mean.

[Brett]

We had our friends.

[Charlie]

I did hear something refresh over the break. There's a couple that's getting married. And you know what? We changed up. We had money that our parents were going to give me for when we decided we're using this for the house. Yes, that's what you should do.

[Brady]

If somebody's going to give you a ton of money, use it on something good. Weddings are stupid, but women get mad at that. Every dude would be like, yeah, I could do without it. Like, we're 50, 50. And if she wants it, that's fine. If she doesn't, that's fine too.

[Brett]

But I was Mathia, I asked her, you want. I mean, you know, I'm in the industry, so I can probably get, you know, decent deals and stuff. And she's like, why? Yeah, let's entertain our friends for a couple hours. Let's just. Let's go on vacation. I'm like, all right, let's do that.

[Brady]

That keeper glorious.

[Charlie]

And doing it, you know, a little later helps.

[Brady]

Well, because you have your own.

[Charlie]

The younger you are, you. You're still in the fairy tale phase.

[Brady]

You can't afford a wedding, you shouldn't get married. No, if you can't afford your own wedding, you should not get married.

[Charlie]

You definitely don't want to go in debt because no wedding.

[Brady]

But if you. If you don't have the money to pay for your own wedding, you should not get married. Now, people can step up and say, we're going to help with this, that's fine. But if you don't, it's like the Marshawn lynch rule. If you don't have enough money to buy the thing you want twice, you can't afford it. Oh, the broads and the weddings. That. That one made me mad because that dude sounds like, yeah, you're kind of a. For doing the cake thing. But it was funny. Yeah, she got real mad. We're divorced already. Like, well, congratulations. There's no way Brady would have wasted cake to smash it in Ronnie's grill. That's right.

[Charlie]

If anything Besides, those cakes are expensive.

[Brady]

Oh, I know. Brady would have reached behind his head and smashed his own face into that cake. It's all mine. Looks like I ruined it. Was spitting air.

[Charlie]

Smash my face in a $700 cake.

[Brady]

700. You're getting off cheap. Yeah, that's a Safeway wedding cake these days.

[Charlie]

That was 19 years ago.

[Brady]

Like $5,000 for a fondant cake that never tastes that good. Fondant is the most overrated thing in the planet. Fondant cakes look pretty. You eat them. It's drywall mud.

[Charlie]

It just preserves a cake for a year later when you're supposed to eat that frozen piece.

[Brady]

By the way, the word supposed to eat that already. I'm kind of checking out and it's a year old. I'm gone. 98. What? 98. No way. Holmberg's morning sickness. Now we're supposed to eat the rest of our cake for a one year anniversary. I'm smashing your face into that too. Fondant. Boy, did those chefs get away with that one. They put plaster on a cake and pretended it has flavor. It is disgusting. It's $5,000. Because Fonda, it's. It's just like really good sugar, isn't it?

[Brett]

Yes.

[Brady]

And excellent eggs. It's the same thing as frosting cake. This is the same thing inside.

[Brett]

She don't like cake in her face. What else doesn't she like in her face?

[Brady]

Exactly.

[Brett]

That's a no go, right?

[Brady]

She's not taking a facial on her wedding day. Be grateful that I'm surprised it lasted 48 hours.

[Charlie]

Or have. Have you seen where they. You know, they do it to the groom, but you can't do it to the bride.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, you can. Well, he's your toy that you can do whatever you want to him because we're cool. Yeah. Yeah. She wanted it.

[Brett]

He's just a ventriloquist. He's like. He's like Jeff Dunham's dolls and stuff like that. You know, Dummies.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. He's a dummy. What do you want me to say? Somebody pointed out that if at Kirby's wedding the cake got ruined. You just heard. The bride and groom wouldn't be upset at all. But that cake getting wrecked would piss off one daddy. That's for sure. One piece. This guy's enough. He's not worth your future. He put his. God dang. I wanted some of that. Son of a. I've been scrounging the floors at the Petco for years to afford a cake like that.

[Charlie]

If you're Gonna shove cake in your mouth.

[Brady]

Here's some cupcakes. Here's the joke cake. Don't miss.

[Charlie]

Just.

[Brady]

We'll put some whipped cream in it. We'll make it look right. But that's the joke.

[Charlie]

Looks stupid.

[Brady]

Bring out the real cake for us to eat. Yeah, I. My favorite wedding moment in the history of weddings for me, because I made it my own moment was when the Brett DJ at the wedding I was at was running around, and he made. He's running around doing games, and he made fun of me for being bald, and he ran by because, hey, you ready to go? I love your hair. And he's rubbed my head, and I'm like, that's it for you. Come back to me one more time. I dare you. And he comes back, and he says to me, he goes, I need all the single fellas to get up and play the game. It wasn't single fella. It was not married yet. Let's see if you and your date know each other, right? And then I said, I don't want to play. And he puts the mic in my face. I don't want to play. So you hear it real loud at the wedding. Come on. Get up, buddy. He did a little elbow shine on the top of my head sitting down. I'm like, I can't get up. Why can't you get up, huh? I've got cancer. Oh, okay. And he just runs off, and everybody's like, why did you do that? Because I wanted that dick to feel the pain of his life choices. It was awesome.

[Brett]

Ryan wants to know if Brady's gonna wait his standard six months to give Kirby your wedding present.

[Brady]

Absolute gonna buy that. Wedding's gonna be on layaway. This guy says, I have a friend who spent $93,000 on a wedding three years ago. It sucked for him because he got divorced a year and a half later. And I make fun of him all the time because I've never been married or had kids. He did have a hell of a prenup, though. But he was still almost at 100k, and it didn't even include their honeymoon. Yeah, we need wedding. We need marriage wedding insurance. Not marriage insurance. Wedding insurance.

[Brett]

They do have a form of insurance, like, if, you know, something happens at the venue or weather. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

But, like, cover that. If they get divorced in a certain amount of time. Like, if it's within 48 hours, it's 100. 100%. If it's a month, you get, like, 95. And every month that goes by is another 5% off what the insurance company will pay you. But if they don't last two years, insurance, at least give you some back, because that's just there, you're getting killed. And that's another racket, though, because a lot of them will make it two years. So the insurance company's getting, you know, you know, 12. 1200 bucks. Yeah, something like that. You make 2500 bucks off everybody and, you know, you kick back a couple of them, you insure it up to a certain amount. It's easy. That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. Or just not doing it.

[Brett]

We have buybacks on bachelor parties, so when the boys get. When one of the boys gets married or something. A bachelor party, you got a year. If you don't make it a year, you're buying back the whole bachelor party for everybody that was there.

[Brady]

That's genius.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Or like our friend Chris, who milked us all dry except Brady for Amazon gift cards and cash and stuff like that. You know what all the money I talked to him about, he got divorced six months later. And Brady hadn't bought him a present yet because I don't even know why you were at that wedding.

[Brett]

Like you just lost cash in that, too.

[Brady]

Barely know the guy.

[Charlie]

Big whoop.

[Brady]

I got at. So six months later, Brady got away with not getting him a present, which was great. And I sat down at lunch, I'm like, what happened to all the money and the gifts and stuff? And he goes, we took most of it and paid my mom back for. So we paid his mom back.

[Brett]

I would have just scratched her a check.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, but that would have been. He didn't the difference. It's a way to say, I'm not giving your money back.

[Brett]

So she got paid in Amazon gift cards and Walmart gift cards and stuff.

[Brady]

And the wife took a lot of it herself and just kind of ran off. This is a story, man. It's a good story, though. Both sweet people. Just didn't work out real fast. And if you're going to not work out, do it real fast.

[Brett]

It was your last wedding, too.

[Brady]

Is the very last wedding I'll ever go to, ever.

[Charlie]

He's got another one coming up.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's talking about doing it again.

[Brett]

Are you going to that one?

[Brady]

No, I'm not going to any more. I already gone to one of his weddings. I've already heard that guy say the word forever. No, when you say forever and I'm at your wedding, that means for me, you're supposed to Be with that last one for the rest of your life. It's not my fault. Nobody's. I'm not going on no more weddings ever again. Never ever again. I'll give you some money after for doing it as a gift.

[Charlie]

Six months.

[Brady]

Yeah. I gave K. Ray's daughter. I handed them a check. Actually, Apple paid them my gift at a dinner later because I hadn't done it yet.

[Brett]

Did you wait six months?

[Charlie]

No.

[Brady]

Actually, probably. They'd probably better. No, I didn't. We got that done. But I'm no good. I'm no. And luckily, I did have something going on that night. But I can't tell people I don't go to weddings anymore. I just can't. I don't do it no more. I've gone to enough of them. I've seen them. I've seen that movie. It's like watching, you know, dream a little. Dream multiple times. It's not very good. And I know I don't want to see it again. But if you're gonna put it in front of me, I'll probably veg on it a minute. But it's a very average performance, and it just makes people nuts. Funerals. I'm all in on funerals from here on out. I'll go to a bunch of those. That's it. That's it. If Kirby gets married, that's great. Here's her Apple pay gift. She's getting some cash. That's all they want anyway. Why put on the show not going to any weddings? Brady can't say no. You don't want to go to any of them, but you can't say no to them. You have to go to a bunch of weddings.

[Charlie]

He's gotta check out the end of February.

[Brady]

Really?

[Charlie]

Well, who chart? My nephew Charlie.

[Brady]

You don't have to go to that. You really don't. And you know what?

[Charlie]

Kind of feel obligated.

[Brady]

No, you don't. Here's the fun thing about that. And nobody says this. They won't care if you're there or not. It won't matter.

[Charlie]

I do because. Well, I do. I feel obligated because it's my sister's.

[Brady]

That's great.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Or not. She wouldn't care if you went either. Just say, hey, I can't make it. I'm gonna give a bunch of money. I'll do a phone.

[Brett]

Six months.

[Brady]

Yeah. You don't want to go. You don't want to go to a wedding. You want to go see people.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You don't want to go to the wedding. Nobody wants to go to a wedding ever. You tell me. If I told you this weekend. It's a little part of the here. No, it isn't, because otherwise there's plenty of weddings going on. Why don't you just go to them during the week? Nobody wants to go to a wedding. They'd sell tickets, especially the ceremony. Oh, it's terrible. It's terrible. You go see friends and family. Haven't seen for a while. That's the biggest thing. But yeah, it's a timeshare. You have to sit through this presentation in order to see your friends. It's awful.

[Charlie]

If you want to pay for.

[Brady]

If you liked weddings, I'm sure there's like 60 of them every weekend. Brett could tell you, hey, going to a wedding, you want to come? You'd be like, no.

[Brett]

I'm there because I'm getting paid, right?

[Brady]

Maybe there should be a little nil money for guests of weddings too. It's like, ah, we really want you there. I'm like, prove it. Show my value. We really would like you to support us. I'm like, I will. For a fee. You're an asshole. Right? You know that? You know, that's why you like me. If we gave you 500, would you come to our wedding? Nobody's ever gonna say that because you're not. They don't want you there that bad, Charlie. And that bride of his, you hardly even know her. They don't care if you're there deep down afterwards, they like to spend time with you. Can do that another time.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know what they'd rather have? Uncle Brady couldn't make it, but he sent us two anywhere plane tickets that we want to go and. And he'll meet us there. They'd be like, whoa.

[Charlie]

They probably would have liked that better.

[Brady]

Of course, they'd like that better than you just sitting in row seven.

[Charlie]

Cheaper for me.

[Brady]

Yeah, right. Give it a try, Charlie. Nobody wants to sit through your stupid ginger wedding. So here's what I suggest. I take you and that beautiful bride of yours to beautiful Branson, Missouri, later this year. What do you say? You have a nice time together? I think that would be better.

[Charlie]

I'd rather go to the wedding.

[Brady]

No, you wouldn't. But then Branson than spend the weekend with him. See, there's the other thing. That's probably true also.

[Charlie]

Why turn around? Just give him the tickets to go.

[Brady]

That's probably true.

[Charlie]

I don't spend the weekend with me.

[Brady]

Well, you know, it's the offer. If they say, oh, we'd love it. Like I don't have to go. We'd love to see it. Or use the tickets to fly them here.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then to have a big difference.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That way it's easy.

[Charlie]

Too late now.

[Brady]

Nah. No, it's not. There's always refunds. Brady.

[Brett]

When is it?

[Brady]

End of February. You can get out.

[Brett]

You can get money back on that.

[Brady]

Yeah. You're taking the whole family.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Disaster. And they're. And they're gonna whisk themselves away. You'll barely even see the. The couple. You just saw your sister a couple weeks ago. You're good for at least a year. You can bail on this. I'm gonna save you some money. He's scrounging for it right now. He's picking it up off the ground.

[Charlie]

My sister's the one that's.

[Brett]

He's putting it towards his trip.

[Brady]

You're scared of her.

[Charlie]

She'd really like to see me there. You were just.

[Brady]

You. Why?

[Charlie]

I want to be there for that.

[Brady]

Yeah. That's dumb. You're. You're indoctrinated. That's brainwashed. You don't really want to be there. If you wanted to just fly out and see him now.

[Charlie]

Thought about it.

[Brady]

Yeah. Just go say hey. I just. I want to spend so much time with you. I had.

[Charlie]

This is a special day for them.

[Brady]

For them. You're not important to this. Quit. Quit giving yourself so much credit. Nobody cares. Do you remember everybody that was at.

[Charlie]

Your wedding to be a really good dj?

[Brady]

Do you remember everyone at your wedding?

[Charlie]

Yes.

[Brady]

No, you don't. There's people. You're like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot. Didn't say a word to you the whole time.

[Charlie]

Me.

[Brady]

In fact, we barely spoke. Yeah. I did a little.

[Charlie]

We spoke. John. Out of beer.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, that was true. There was some of that. Okay. I'll go help you out. Yeah. I ran an errand. That's a thing.

[Brett]

What?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You had to work at his wedding.

[Brady]

Anything to get me out of there. I needed more beer to eat some of that dry ass chicken. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Burt?

[Brett]

Wake up. Song time. And we got tons of stuff on here. We'll just start off with Alice Cooper. Dead babies is on the list.

[Brady]

Nice. So that was a dark. Very dark joke earlier. Megadeth.

[Brett]

And then everything goes towards Brady. Ice cube. Today was a good day for Brady's big haul. Money talks for Brady's five finger paycheck.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Been caught stealing for kj. Running with the devil. Because Brady's going down the wrong path.

[Charlie]

Now I'm going back to the store and giving the 50 bucks.

[Brady]

You don't have 50 bucks. You got to get Ramon back in. On the mat.

[Charlie]

I gotta make some calls.

[Brett]

Dire Straits. Money for Nothing for Brady. Money from Pink Floyd. Thieves for Ministry for Brady. Midlife Crisis for Brady. The OJs for the love of Money for Brady and Jay Z. Money ain't a thing.

[Brady]

I like Thieves by Ministry on that one. I haven't. I haven't heard that in a long time. I don't know, Brett. You pick one. It's Friday. It's your day.

[Brett]

I'm a ministry kind of guy.

[Brady]

All right, let's do a little ministry. Thieves for Brady. Since he took that hard earned cash and infants died.

[Brett]

Toledo's got it in the system. Or not.

[Brady]

I don't either. You have it? I can get it. I have to watch this one. Oh, there, he's got it. Yeah, we're good. It's a good one, too. For brady and the $50. He, Carlos, and did not return yesterday. We've all done it. It's Ministry. It's 98 KUPD. Wake him up. It's out of control now.