01-17-25 - Guad Squares - Biden - Stallone - Trump - Baseball Broadcasters Square - Wordsmith Brady - Obama - MLKjr

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: Guad Squares - Biden - Stallone - Trump - Baseball Broadcasters Square - Wordsmith Brady - Obama - MLKjr
Release Date: January 17, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Introduction to Guad Squares

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg introducing a new segment called "Guad Squares," a comedic and satirical game segment designed to entertain and provoke listeners. The segment features a variety of public figures, blending political commentary with humor.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg [02:30]: "It's time now for Kaiser himself to do what he does best. And that is host these Guadalupe squares."

Biden Square: Mocking Presidential Predictions

The discussion begins with a focus on President Joe Biden, where John Holmberg makes a sardonic remark about Biden's speeches and outlook.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [02:34]: "Fear the future. I was telling you, fear the future. Why? You got a terrible future ahead of you."

Brady Bogen [02:59]: "Awesome."

Holmberg further delves into a humorous monologue predicting a bleak future, blending dark humor with political satire.

Stallone Square: Hollywood Ambassador Satire

Next, the hosts turn their attention to Sylvester Stallone, humorously dubbing him the "Hollywood ambassador" and poking fun at his action-hero persona.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [03:58]: "You know there's no way to induce me. I'm a legend. I'm a Hollywood ambassador."

Brady Bogen [04:49]: "You are not a doctor, I'll give you that."

The segment continues with exaggerated claims about Hollywood figures and satirical plans to "fix" global issues, all delivered with a comedic edge.

Trump Square: Parodying Presidential Conduct

The Trump Square segment offers a parody of former President Donald Trump's persona and administration. The hosts mockingly discuss Trump's behavior in the White House, highlighting absurd scenarios and humorous grievances.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [05:56]: "Soon President. Really? Let's be honest. I'm President of the United States."

John Holmberg [06:10]: "What have you been doing in here the whole time? ... It smelled like Ensure. Drinks spilled all over the carpet and pee everywhere."

The conversation exaggerates Trump's characteristics, blending over-the-top humor with political commentary.

Baseball Broadcasters Square: Tribute to Broadcasting Legends

Shifting gears, the Baseball Broadcasters Square honors legendary sports broadcasters while weaving in dark humor about the industry's past and present.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [07:44]: "Vin Scully, by the way, from the Los Angeles Dodgers. ... we killed a lot of Mexicans to build that baseball stadium."

Brady Bogen [08:38]: "But he's working his way back out."

Holmberg’s commentary blends reverence for broadcasting icons with biting satire about historical events and personal anecdotes.

Wordsmith Brady: Language and Grammar Humor

In the Wordsmith Brady segment, the focus shifts to language, grammar, and the quirks of English. The hosts engage in playful banter about grammatical rules and common mistakes.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [08:57]: "I should have called you the dangling modifier. Yeah, Now I'm gonna show you a sentence. It says, let's eat, Grandma."

Brady Bogen [09:24]: "I can tell."

John Holmberg [09:34]: "Let's keep the president ball rolling here with Obama joining us."

The segment combines educational elements with humor, making grammar discussions entertaining and engaging.

Obama Square: Satirical Interaction with Former President Obama

The Obama Square features a mock interaction with former President Barack Obama, filled with humorous and irreverent remarks about his personal life and political career.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [09:34]: "How you doing up there, Donald? Hello, Barack. How are you, buddy?"

John Holmberg [10:23]: "This is how we do it. This is how we do it."

The hosts utilize exaggerated characterizations and fictitious scenarios to create a comedic portrayal of Obama.

MLK Jr. Square: Dark Humor and Controversial Jokes

The MLK Jr. Square segment delves into dark humor, where the hosts make controversial and provocative jokes, pushing the boundaries of taste and sensitivity.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [11:20]: "I have a dream. One day, big black guys and little white women will be on the Internet doing horrible things to each other."

Brady Bogen [11:29]: "How dare you? Love is love."

John Holmberg [11:53]: "I have a day. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com."

This segment showcases the hosts' willingness to tackle sensitive topics with a blend of satire and shock value, eliciting strong reactions from listeners.

Interactive Caller Segments: Engaging the Audience

Throughout the episode, the hosts interact with callers, engaging them in the Guad Squares game. These interactions are filled with improvisational humor, witty exchanges, and playful teasing.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [14:32]: "I am here."

Brady Bogen [15:10]: "Here we go. The Dickin Medal honors."

John Holmberg [16:00]: "He sounds like me. That's right. Kamala is also a wordsmither."

These moments highlight the show's dynamic and the hosts' ability to think on their feet, maintaining an entertaining flow.

Closing Remarks and Weekend Plans

As the show wraps up, the hosts discuss their personal plans for the weekend, blending casual conversation with humorous reflections on the episode's content.

Notable Quotes:

John Holmberg [24:10]: "You think? Who gave it to you?"

Brady Bogen [24:37]: "Even I am. Yeah."

John Holmberg [24:37]: "Yeah. It'd just be you and Sarah here on Monday."

The closing segments maintain the show's comedic tone, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully combines political satire, dark humor, and interactive segments to engage and entertain its Arizona audience. Through the innovative "Guad Squares" game, hosts John Holmberg and Brady Bogen offer sharp, humorous takes on prominent figures like Biden, Stallone, Trump, Obama, and even MLK Jr., pushing the envelope while maintaining a loyal listener base. The blend of scripted humor and spontaneous interactions creates a dynamic and memorable listening experience, staying true to the show's mission to entertain, question, and disturb its audience.

Listen in or visit 98KUPD to catch more episodes of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show!

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute dot com. All right. Somehow or another, we did this. I don't know how we got it done. We're right on time. Now what? I don't know about that. No, it is. Is it? We're going to ruin that now. But we were right on time, like a normal, decent show would. Start closing up right now. We've got a whole new thing to start. And that's okay, too. We've got Lincoln park tickets for today's Guadalupe squares, which is impressive. And we've posted a picture of Thriller dressed as. I haven't posted yet. I'll post it. Yeah, put it up there. Because we haven't dressed as what we think is from Sears Lee Harvey collection, because this is definitely presidential assassin gear. On inauguration weekend, it was an interesting choice to dress up like a guy.

[Brady]

Well, I can't wear it on Monday or.

[John Holmberg]

You're coming. Oh, no, you can't do that, people. Yeah, it's inauguration and the anniversary of. You're working on Monday.

[Brady]

No, I'm actually the day off. Thank goodness.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, don't just wear it around the house, either. I don't like this outfit is what I'm saying.

[Brady]

It won't happen again.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can wear whatever you want. And I don't want to be the. You know, I don't be the. The yes no man for your outfits. I just want to be honest with you and say when you're dressed like a killer.

[Brady]

Yeah, I appreciate that actually.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because people look at you. What's with the like you're so buttoned up that this can't be. He's so pure and innocent. He's Kaiser Sose. I'm telling you, this guy walks away from the murders just fine. These guys are so. Say, uh, it's time now for Kaiser himself to do what he does best. And that is host these Guadalupe squares. Thriller. Take it away.

[Brady]

Thank you, Chancellor. Let's start top left square with Biden. Yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

It's all over. Get out here. Get on your job.

[Brady]

I did see your final speech.

[John Holmberg]

What'd you think?

[Brady]

It wasn't bad.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't bad. Fear the future. I was telling you, fear the future. Why? You got a terrible future ahead of you. I fear the future because it means I'm going to die soon. Not much time left. Off to the beach. That's where I'm at. You're gonna die while you're in that space. I'll lay down like a whale. Let's go. To the end of my life. And I lay in the sand.

[Brady]

Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Will you blow up and the gases will explode. People clean me up. I also have a plan. Nobody cares. Wow. We've dismissed you. I tell you to get out of here. But I've told you already. And you won't leave. It's like feeding a cat. This won't get off my porch. So I'll spend a nice time serving you. But I'm out. Tell Momola to get off my porch. She's not staying. Maybe I can hang around the next group of people. Momala and I could be. I could give them an opportunity to give me a better economy. Since I'm out of work. Probably never gonna work again. I hope you remember all that stuff you did at McDonald's. It's gonna come in handy. No joke. Good one. No joke. It's been a pleasure being in your upper left square. Let me go on.

[Brady]

Oh, I think we'll miss you, Momm.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He'll be back as a Memorial Square.

[Brady]

Oh, true. Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In a couple weeks I'll probably in Memorial.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Now, top, middle square, we have Stallone and joining us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know there's no way to induce me. I'm a legend. I'm a Hollywood ambassador. Why don't you try that again?

[Brady]

You don't need to hear that. For the millionth time, try that again. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right, go.

[Brady]

The pride of Philadelphia, a man who was not born there.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, yo, this guy's doing all right.

[Brady]

But it is Mr. Stallone joining us?

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, that was better. I didn't mind that one as much. You know, I got a little work to do, but we'll get it together. The more I'm ambassador, the more you're going to.

[Brady]

You're going to leave a lot on your plate anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll draw first blood. I'm draw first blood. I got a lot on my plate. I got to fix China. I got to fix all this stuff. I'm doing all right. I'm Hollywood ambassador. Who are the other guys? Bruce Willis, John Voight, John Void. Schwarzenegger. No, it's just Vo. Oh, Mel Gibson. Oh, yeah. And Frank. Yeah, we'll send Mel Gibson over to Israel. Scare the hell out. Get all that. What do you want fixed there? Thriller. Oh, wait, never mind. I can't do that. I'm not a doctor.

[Brady]

You are not a doctor, I'll give you that.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, yo. Hey, yo. We're here to make Hollywood great again. I wish we were gonna give everybody out there, what do you say, Brady? Body bags. They need body bags. Oh, I thought you wanted to, like, build body bags in the shape of Brady. You sent Johnny Rambo in there. See? Cause you remind me of, like, the thing I got in my basement. My heavy bag. I just look like Brady. It's a big box. There's punch at it all day long in the nervous hanging. That's right. You let my in my big old side of beef, Brady.

[Brady]

Your training diet would be Brady's usual breakf.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, yo, I gotta get my brother Frank involved in this thing. He needs a job, you know what I'm saying? And get Frank over there. Frankie, you gotta open the door right? Hey. Oh, you know I'm not letting you in the same room. Well, if you want to tag along over to China, we'll try to sell some of your songs. I really appreciate that, man. He's not angry with my brother Frank. He love him so much, you know? Anyway, all right.

[Brady]

It's always nice when they involve the runt. Okay, Top right square. We go over to soon President Trump.

[John Holmberg]

Soon President. Really? Let's be honest. I'm President of the United States. Let me just crank over here for a second. Excuse me. Overland. My square here. You're still here? Oh, yeah. I got it for a couple more days. All right, we'll let you stay for a couple. Why does it smell like piss?

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

What have you been doing in here the whole time? We were just out of the White House. It smelled like Ensure. Drinks spilled all over the carpet and pee everywhere. You're going to want a floor cleaner to. We got to get that. We got to get some floor. We got a good floor cleaner. Thriller. We'd have somebody over there. By the way, I don't like the way you look today. I'm glad I'm not president yet.

[Brady]

You already survived it twice.

[John Holmberg]

Because the way he's dressed, he's eyeballing only presidents right now. He's been on a roof somewhere. Oh, I think he's been on a rooftop a few times.

[Brady]

If I'm on a roof, get me down.

[John Holmberg]

I think there's a pretty good chance that's probably true. The wind is blowing a little heavy if Thriller's on the roof because we know he didn't climb up there himself.

[Brady]

All right, now we go to our.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, by the way, there's jello and shaved carrots all over the residential hall. I'm tired of looking at it. I want that. Make sure you clean that up. You don't get your deposit back. That's true. You man. I'll just leave you anything I want to. Is there a big 72 hour throwdown at Mar a Lago? Don't tell him. Don't tell him. I took a huge. Underneath the bed. I think you'll find it gonna linger in there. Trust me, that's not the worst thing that's gonna be in that bed or what? That's terrible. Oh, there's gonna be golden showers and poo. I'm gonna wreck this place. Gonna Amber heard it. I'm gonna totally leave Grumpy after Grumpy in there. Is Melania coming this time? By the way, I'm looking at Thriller right now and I'm pretty sure he could draw me. Except for if he drew my face, it would have crosshairs on it. Not a big fan. Not a big fan of the new presidential assassin line from Hagar.

[Brady]

I'm just going off of what sells and man, the orders are coming in.

[John Holmberg]

They're coming in. All right. I don't like this. You look like Ed Gein.

[Brady]

All right, now into our left middle square. Baseball announcer, Memorial Square. Because we're losing a lot of talent.

[John Holmberg]

Holy cow. Harry Terry here to say goodbye to our good friend Bob Mutter. Or hello hello to Bob Euchre. You know, you make a great point, Freddie, depending on where. Vin Scully, by the way, from the Los Angeles Dodgers. And also broadcasting live from Chavez Ravine in hell, the Dodgers. I never said a thing about Chavez Ravine, but we killed a lot of Mexicans to build that baseball stadium. And I just kept going to work every day like it never happened. Boy, oh, boy, Tom Brennam in here. And I'm not even dead yet, unless you count my career. Other than that, everything's going great. Over. Well, sort of. Not the way I want to be. Brady calling Pioneer League Footballers. I'm not sure. Calling the CW Sports. Wyoming State versus Wyoming U. Is something I really strove for in my early 60s.

[Brady]

But he's working his way back out.

[John Holmberg]

Got to hang out with Snoop Dogg. Broadcasting's awesome, but I saw that Bob Uecker died yesterday, and I said, oh, but for the luck, why couldn't that be me?

[Brady]

All right, now we have our middle square wordsmith Brady here.

[John Holmberg]

Teach a lesson. I am an English major.

[Brady]

I'm so sorry, I.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not. Me fail English unpossible. It's an old line from the Simpsons. But anyway, I should have called you the dangling modifier. Yeah, Now I'm gonna show you a sentence. It says, let's eat, Grandma. Where does the comma go? You tell. There's no comma in that. Let's eat, Grandma. What the hell? It depends on what you're up to. I'm a wordsmith.

[Brady]

I can tell.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. And you, sir, get to read all them words that are coming our way now. Sure enough, that's the way it works, Lee Harvey.

[Brady]

Let's keep the president ball rolling here with Obama joining us.

[John Holmberg]

How you doing up there, Donald? Hello, Barack. How are you, buddy? It's good to see it. Yeah, we didn't see each. We saw each other at the Carter funeral. Had a blast together, making fun of Kamala from behind. Did you notice how we sat behind her? Of course. You know, did you see how her hair looked like she just laid down in bed for like a half an hour? But we know she wasn't with Whitey over there. Doug Emoff wasn't on. Oh, there's no way his hair is perfect now. Once you've been with Common or whoever she was with. Was it Montel Jordan or I don't know her. Williams one of them? All those guys look alike to me. This is how I do Just say, I don't know the Montells from Montels. Anyway, yeah, Donna, I were having a good time with actually comb the back of her hair because she's a whore. Well, I'm not gonna go that far. That's pretty good.

[Brady]

Well, you two have plenty of time to catch up.

[John Holmberg]

This is how we do. This is how we do it.

[Brady]

Can I request Belle bib Dafoe?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. That would be poison. Rub it down, slip it, or whatever. Oh, no, I don't know that one. I need ji. The. Mm. I didn't have to be interested in urban things until about seven years ago.

[Brady]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Have to, right? I tried. I avoided it. Or I just charged extra rent.

[Brady]

All right, now, bottom left square. Brady secrets.

[John Holmberg]

Fair.

[Brady]

Give us a hint.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. How's your guys doing? I'm dead, but I used to run Chicago in the 20s and 30s.

[Brady]

My friends called me Scarface.

[John Holmberg]

The 20 and 30s and 30s, sir. Sorry, I just had to wordsmith that first time. This guy.

[Brady]

Get a load of him.

[John Holmberg]

See what he did. I get it. You made the list. That was a good one.

[Brady]

All right, now we go to our bottom of the square fitting for Monday. MLK joins us.

[John Holmberg]

I have a dream. One day, big black guys and little white women will be on the Internet doing horrible things to each other. I have a dream. Come.

[Brady]

I have great news for you.

[John Holmberg]

He does my dreams come true Here. Look at this phone. Oh, my goodness. I've never felt sor for a white woman like that until today. I'm gonna march across the bridge in her honor.

[Brady]

In our memory.

[John Holmberg]

We have to stop this. My God, that is a great website. What is that? That's called black dot com.

[Brady]

And yeah, you're in your favorites, Barack.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's in my favorites. That's number one. You can't even go to my Internet without seeing that first search. Big Mike. Well, I have a specific need. Look, there's Big Mike right there. Oh, my God. That is her. She's right on top of that white girl. I think that's that Kellyanne lady I've got in my department. It's amazing. What's going on? I had a dream, and my dream came true. My next dream is that one day, two women of color will poop in a cup and maybe eat it out of that cup and throw up on each other and have sex. I have a day.

[Brady]

How dare you? Love is love.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully, that comes true. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com.

[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to Too Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

All right, now our bottom right square. Our lord and savior, Trip Reeb. How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, better than last week. Yeah. Still sleeping in a cot? Because I want to. Yeah, it's made of golden cot. Insurance checks coming soon anyway. Yeah, too soon. Thriller. Whoa. Who dressed him? Yeah, maybe. Yikes. Don't make the list, Trip. Hey, how was your trip up there to Pennsylvania this summer? Did you have a good time? Oh, yeah. You do look like my guy, don't you? A little bit like him, too. Not a fan of it. Not a good outfit. On with the show.

[Brady]

Okay, let's go on over to our first guest.

[John Holmberg]

Our callers, not our guests. We're done with those.

[Brady]

Okay. Okay, fair enough.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Tanner. Tanner dropped Christina's on there. This might help in time. Christina, are you there?

[Brady]

Go for it.

[John Holmberg]

I am here.

[Brady]

Hey, guys.

[John Holmberg]

Brett just tried to answer the phone and accidentally hung up on Tanner. Oh, no, no, no. I'm gonna blame him. Chris Kabanski. I'm not answering that. You want me to get him on? There's Tanner. He came back. That's how that works. Phone is weird. Tanner, are you there?

[Brady]

Yes, it got disconnected.

[John Holmberg]

That's Brett's fault. No, it's not. Christina, you go first.

[Brady]

Pick a square.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's go. Trump. Trump. Okay, we're all going. Trump. I think we're gonna go trump. I think that's great. What does that mean to you, Christina? Is that a euphemism at home? Honey, I'll me tonight. I think that's pretty great. My God. I don't know. Make it sound like a gag, I think. All right, Gorilla going.

[Brady]

Here we go. The Dickin Medal honors. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

The Dickin Medal honors animals who served Britain during World War II. True or false?

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Dickin Medal. I named something a Dickin. Metal. Probably the greatest name for a medal ever. Next, of course, what's gonna come this week? The Trump Medal. I'm gonna give those out. That's pretty amazing. The Dickin Medal honors animals. I'll have to say that's probably true. I don't even know what it is, but it seems about right. Okay. Dick and metal.

[Brady]

Got it now.

[John Holmberg]

I think they gave him away at P. Diddy parties, actually. You get a good dick and then you get a medal for it. I think that's right. I think it was at the ugly sweater party last year. That could be too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Katie. KB does a Dick and Metal every day. It passes. Every single day. Who's got the Dick and Metal? I'll take it.

[Brady]

It's a daily pass around.

[John Holmberg]

I love it over there.

[Brady]

Okay, Christina.

[John Holmberg]

They also hand over a lot of drinks over there. The Dickens Cider taste run by the dickens. Charles.

[Brady]

All right, Christina, do you agree or disagree with true? I agree.

[John Holmberg]

Correct.

[Brady]

Executes the square.

[John Holmberg]

The dick and wins. Nice job.

[Brady]

When in doubt, dicking out.

[John Holmberg]

What? Wow.

[Brady]

It's a half joke. Where it's not that funny. But you're.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not funny at all. It's just. Why you said it is funny. There's no humor in it at. Oh, but it's just the fact that Lee Harvey just puked that out at us is a little. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Brady]

Hopping over to Tanner. Go ahead and make your selection. I will pick Biden. Biden. Okay. There we go.

[John Holmberg]

Balance.

[Brady]

Balance might be my last question for you. So I want you to focus on this.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. It's so hard to say goodbye yesterday.

[Brady]

Let's save that for Monday. Let. Let's.

[John Holmberg]

I might just. I might. I might just release that on Monday. That's a good idea. Say goodbye on Monday. How's it goodbye? 12 o'clock. Out of here. It's no joke. I'm gone. I'm out.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Anywhere. Delaware Scran. Pa.

[Brady]

Okay, let me ask you a question.

[John Holmberg]

No joke. What? I've never seen smells like roots and stews.

[Brady]

Suggestions?

[John Holmberg]

She doesn't have one. She got a house. Not for long. Okay, not for long.

[Brady]

All right, go ahead, Biden. In 1870, when you were 10 years old, $20 could pay an entire month's rent for an apartment on the Lower east side of New York. True or fals?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly how much Mama Louis paid the entire time in the White House? 20 bucks. That's what she's been worth, too. $20. 1870, get your entire apartment complex.

[Brady]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of money back then.

[Brady]

Okay, you're saying true now.

[John Holmberg]

True.

[Brady]

Do you agree or disagree with true?

[John Holmberg]

I will agree.

[Brady]

That is correct. Circle gets a square.

[John Holmberg]

All right, clear it out. That's the last thing you do in there. Off you go, geezer. Let's go, Methuselah. That's my box. And no, I'm not talking about the square. I'm talking about Jill. Leave her behind, too. That's my box.

[Brady]

You guys must. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, thank you. I'd rather blow Big Mike, you know. Come on. She's not even gonna be at the inauguration. We both know why.

[Brady]

Back over to Christina.

[John Holmberg]

She doesn't like it when it's cold. It makes a dick little. I'm in charge. She's got shrinkage. Big Mike has shrinkage. And ice cold. It's gonna be very cold. Very cold. Can't have Big Mike in a skirt with a little nub down there. Can't have that. Come on, man. That's my wife. We're friends now. That's what you think? I'm a judge, bitch.

[Brady]

All right, Christina, make your next selection. I'm gonna go Brady's Secret Square. Secret square. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I think she knows it.

[Brady]

Let's see. Who do you think it is?

[John Holmberg]

I think it's Al Capone. You got me.

[Brady]

Oh, Pretty good for you.

[John Holmberg]

Did a good job.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Guilty. Is that right?

[Brady]

That actually gets disgusted. Let's hop on over now. Now for the block. Tanner can go for wordsmith. Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I will go with Brady. That's right. That's probably your best decision. All right. What? That's right. I'm an English major. I speak the words well enough to be good.

[Brady]

Do you?

[John Holmberg]

He sounds like me. That's right. Kamala is also a wordsmither. Isn't that right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, it's time for you to orotate.

[Brady]

Oh, What?

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Right now. Do it on the air.

[Brady]

Okay. All right. What I got for you? A sacred lobster hangs in Mass in the Massachusetts State House from the ceiling. True or false?

[John Holmberg]

A Sacred lobster. Tell you what, it wouldn't last long if it was in my house hanging from the ceiling over a big bowl of butter. But it's sacred.

[Brady]

You.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I need a sacred flakes.

[Brady]

Look, it's not even cooked.

[John Holmberg]

I've been eating Jesus flakes since I was five years old. Nothing sacred. Give me a bite. I'll say. Yeah. Every Sunday we cannibalize Christ. I don't know if you knew that. We dotty, by the way, because I'm Brady. I just want to let you know, the only thing I know about a lobster is at my house. I have a lobster on my piano. Oh, that's right.

[Brady]

Thank you for sure.

[John Holmberg]

I've got crabs on my organ. Oh, that's what you get when you're good with the words. The show over yet? Martin smithery. In the 1800s, I was a wordsmith. I used to put them on horses. Is that how that worked? Yes, that's right.

[Brady]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

I shooed horses with words. Show over.

[Brady]

Do you say true or false?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I'll say it's true.

[Brady]

You're gonna say it's true? Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Big lobster hanging from the ceiling.

[Brady]

Tanner, for the block. Do you agree or disagree with.

[John Holmberg]

Probably smells like Kamala's house, that lobster. Smell it from the ceiling.

[Brady]

Agree. I'm going to disagree. Correct. You got the block. We're going a long way.

[John Holmberg]

Trick weed for the win or whatever you want. Anything for the win.

[Brady]

Go ahead, Christina. Make your choice. Trip.

[John Holmberg]

Read.

[Brady]

Yeah. The ladies once again request.

[John Holmberg]

I've had a rough go the last couple weeks. Christina. I could use a nice place to lay my head. Yeah. They turned us into Frankenstein over the fire. Bad, Christina. Good. Yeah.

[Brady]

I'll make this quick.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah, do that.

[Brady]

The phrase how come? A short for how did it come about? And it was a softer way of asking why.

[John Holmberg]

Should have probably asked me that question. I know the etymology of all the words. I don't know what he's talking about, but that's not unusual. I'll say. How come? Ooh, that's when you have sex with an Indian. How come? There has to be a comma in it. I know a comma in the Indian. You know what I mean? How come? I'll tell you how. Two hands and a face. I'll say. That's true. Probably from a much longer sentence.

[Brady]

Got it. You're saying true.

[John Holmberg]

Come now, Tara.

[Brady]

Do you agree or disagree? For the win.

[John Holmberg]

I agree. Correct. Yes. He's the champion. Are you from the reservation, Christina? How come? Anyway, I'm back To my sad. My sad office.

[Brady]

We'll reconnect next week. You'll be doing better.

[John Holmberg]

We'll get better next week. Yachts and tacos. Yeah. Out on the water. Which I'm a big fan of now. I love that water. All right, let's get out of here. Nice job, Thriller. You sped us through. You didn't. Wasn't too late. Kind of. Sorta. And Christina wins. Lincoln parking both up. They got. We get for both. Beautiful work, Brett. Brett, you beautiful. So we just did that for no reason at all. It's just gonna give him two tickets away and got pretty much. Thriller, Anything happening to you this weekend we need to talk about?

[Brady]

Pretty usual. Just hanging out with family. And we have playoff football, so we'll see what happens.

[John Holmberg]

When's the last time you sold your. Your insides?

[Brady]

It's been a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

What? Are you ready?

[Brady]

I might need it in about a month or so. We'll see.

[John Holmberg]

You're a month away from giving away.

[Brady]

I got a race, so we'll see if that's enough for it. I did.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Was it because we've been bitching about that?

[Brady]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Brady]

I don't know. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You think Tripp felt bad for spending all that money at stake 44 with a client and the week you had to sell plasma. Remember that? I'll see you.

[Brady]

A reminder on that.

[John Holmberg]

Like a bottle of wine. Best week ever. A $2,500 bottle of wine we were guzzling on while he was sitting there dizzy, eating orange flakes. He got cookies and oranges to try to stay alive.

[Brady]

So I'm happy where I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Currently we're drinking Opus one with Jeff Jr. Laughing and having the time. You know, I. I think I could get another one of these bottles. Hold still, Mr. Thriller. We just need a little bit more bone marrow. I've heard that if we squeeze him, maybe some will come out. So you got a raise? Cause we made fun of you. You think? Who gave it to you?

[Brady]

Well, all I heard was confirmation from Susie.

[John Holmberg]

But Tripp may have said, give the kid a raise. I want to hear it. Done.

[Brady]

Maybe. Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Susie.

[John Holmberg]

You're welcome.

[Brady]

Susie said yes, and Chris said, you got it. And I'm like, okay. I don't care how. I'm just thankful.

[John Holmberg]

Did you ask?

[Brady]

I did.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. So you went there first. And hey, I'm tired of giving away my insides. Let me save some of me.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Before I have to sell a kidney. Can I get a couple?

[Brady]

I need to be fully here in body.

[John Holmberg]

Thriller got some money. Yeah, to where he doesn't have to suck his marrow out every month to make rent. All right. Thriller. That makes me happy. All right, let's get the hell out of here. I'm smiling ear to ear. We're off Monday for sure. Are you guys sure? Yeah. Company holiday.

[Brady]

Even I am. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It'd just be you and Sarah here on Monday. Yeah, Paul's here for sure. That hit a lot harder. Oh, no, he's. Yeah, he's definitely gonna tweak your Monday off. Why? We're all done. You guys have yourselves a great weekend. Enjoy all three if you get them, just two if you don't. But don't blame us. And we'll see you Tuesday. Right here in the morning. Sickness, it's out of control now.