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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Byron
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Byron
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple?
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
Commercial Announcer
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John Holmberg
Cease and desist at once. The best of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the big Red radio. We have some bad news. We might as well have the happiest man in the world come in and break it to us. Jimmy Fallon's here, everybody.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, my God.
Brady
Hey, Jimmy.
John Holmberg
So good to see you guys.
Brett Vesely
What's up, bro?
John Holmberg
Oh, my God, Brady. So funny.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God.
Brady
Brady.
Jimmy Fallon
Brady's here. It's gonna be great.
Brady
What happened?
Jimmy Fallon
Brady, it's unbelievable to have you here. I'm just looking at you just like, oh, my God.
John Holmberg
There's Brady.
Jimmy Fallon
I listen all the time.
John Holmberg
There's Brad.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
Brett's a race.
Jimmy Fallon
This is amazing.
Brady
We got a great time sometime.
Jimmy Fallon
Oh, we'll get together and we'll do like a. We should do a parody song or something. It's great. Oh, some bad news. Louis Anderson died. His ravaged body died from cancer. Terrible, terrible stuff.
Brady
Just leaves terrible.
Jimmy Fallon
I remember laughing so much. It's so great. So happy to see him in. And just having him in there is just unbelievable. So just come by and tell you guys that cancer has taken Louie Anderson and eating his body from the inside out.
John Holmberg
Terrible news. Oh, my God.
Jimmy Fallon
I can't believe this. Can't believe I'm in here.
Brady
Let's do dick in a box.
Jimmy Fallon
Okay. Let's do dick in a box again.
John Holmberg
Oh my God.
Jimmy Fallon
It was so much. If Louis Anderson could do tick in a box, it'd be such a big box. So huge. Such a big man. Such a huge celebrity. See, I've loved all of his life.
Brett Vesely
You gotta be somewhere else.
John Holmberg
I loved everything. I gotta go.
Jimmy Fallon
I gotta break some news to some people who lost their kids in a car accident last night.
John Holmberg
Oh my God.
Jimmy Fallon
It's sad news. Jimmy Fallon. I'll see you guys later, man.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's got a lot of energy, man.
Brett Vesely
Really? Yeah.
John Holmberg
But you know what?
Brett Vesely
So tense.
John Holmberg
Even with that terrible news. We're all smiling. We're all smiling at that bad news.
Jimmy Fallon
I forgot to tell you guys. Did you hear about Meelo from.
Brady
My God.
Jimmy Fallon
Unbelievable.
John Holmberg
He's dead too. Okay, bye. Oh, Jimmy. Just bad news. Jimmy me. It's tough to hear. Yeah. Louie Anderson, while we're talking to Lavelle. Louis died. Not while we were talking about the announcement.
Brett Vesely
That.
John Holmberg
And Lavelle was like, I believe that every time that story gonna come out, come out on that mother. Who else is dead? All our big celebrities are dying. And we have Lavelle in here today. I want to bubble wrap them and keep Lavelle safe while these all these big dudes start dropping like flies on the same day. Brady, I gotta keep my eye on you.
Brett Vesely
Who's the third one?
John Holmberg
Yeah, who do we pick for three? Who's the big third? Who would it be? I can't think of a big fat person. Re.
Brady
Did we have someone just before Louie, the big one?
John Holmberg
I don't know. Louie McDad. Betty White. Yes, Betty White. Louie Anderson and Meatloaf. What a sad end to Betty White's life. But that's. Louie is one of the most originally funny comedians. If you're a student of comedy or you like it at all and you don't know Louie Anderson, you've done yourself a disservice. The early stuff he had just hysterical and subtle. And he was his time then to.
Brady
Come back for the last thing. Baskets.
John Holmberg
And the baskets would just mind blowingly great.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Baskets is so good. It's one of those things that's so funny. You don't laugh. You just go. That's amazing.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
Like your body doesn't react with laughter. It reacts with Jesus. That's creative. Louie is. I never. And what did I say earlier in this week when we said we found out he was sick? Like it's one guy in 21 years of being here we have not had on. And I would. That is one.
Brett Vesely
He just avoided it.
John Holmberg
No, he just never toured again. The story about him and Mesa is not good. So he never really came back to Arizona. Frank Caliendo told a story of being at a swimming party with Louie Anderson.
Brady
That's right.
John Holmberg
And it's a great story. I don't know the details, so I won't mess it up. So I'm not going to tell it. But he and Louie were standing there by the pool.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
I'm pretty much probably the funniest guy here, Frank. And he just kind of just tell him. Like Craig Gass, he's funny, but he's got no act. It's just flat out would tell a guy. But yeah, Louie Dyne and that. That's one of the comedy heroes. Like I love Louie and Baskets. My God. So that's a. That's a big one. That's a big loss for funny. We lost a few good ones. Norm and Bob and Louie. That's rough. Louie. I wish, I wish. That'll be one of the. The regrets. I go back to all these comedians, all this stuff, and I'm a huge comedy fan. Watching all these guys and having them come in and meet guys like Lavelle and I love Lavelle. And to have Louie go and never met him. That'll be one. Like. Yeah, that would have been one on the list. And it's not. That sucks. So Louie Anderson's gone. Jimmy broke it to you six. He's only 68 though.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And again, meatloaf going to 74 his size. Louie getting a 68 his size. Shocking. You don't hear a lot of those dudes in that weight class getting up into their late 60s, early 70s. Those two both did it, so. Oh, it stinks. Anyway, it's time for the entertainment drill and it's brought to you by our friends, the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Schwartz Laser Eye. It's where you go to get your eyes fixed. I did mine. My right eye was a disaster. And now it's down to 2020 once again. And thanks to Dr. Jay Schwartz and the team out there for finding the glorious problem. That was a cataract in my eye. Could be trauma based. It could have been the sun. It could have been.
Brady
Do you think something was going on in the cataract? Like was things in the cataract Was it blurry? Was it.
John Holmberg
Oh, how do you know it was like, without? Well, because I couldn't see. Basic stuff. Then when they fixed it, I'm like, this is how you're supposed to see. So I had the lens replaced, and it was unreal. So check it all out. They have their complimentary consultation to get on out there. They take a look at you and they're like, hey, let's get you in a plan. You're tired of glasses. Whatever. They've got the Lasik, they've got the lens replacements, they've got all sorts of stuff. Let them look at your eyes so you can use them properly. The Schwartz Laser Eye center, the Diamondbacks Suns, they're all there. You should be, too. Brady Entertainment.
Brady
Mike Tyson is selling edible gummies in the shape of a bitten ear.
John Holmberg
Yes, I saw. That was pretty great. That's pretty funny. Wait, is it the.
Brady
The ear that's bitten off, or is.
John Holmberg
It the part of the ear that he bit off? Yeah, it's the chunk. And doesn't Evander get a piece of this? Like, shouldn't he get a. I think.
Commercial Announcer
He signed off on it.
John Holmberg
Did he? Well, he signed off on it, but shouldn't he get some money for this? Maybe that's what it is.
Brady
There's the big question. No word if Evander's getting cut of this.
John Holmberg
He's got to. If he wants to, he can call me up. I'll try to give him something. But I hope he doesn't get too mousey.
Brady
The way they said when they asked, Tyson sounded like Evander is getting a piece.
John Holmberg
And they've had a couple of podcasts together that are quite hilarious talking about the ear thing. And keep in mind, as crazy as Mike Tyson was, true boxing fans know that Evander Holyfield tried to break people's face with the back of his head on a regular basis. He was a headbutting machine, and he would open eyes and he would smash you with the top of the crown of his head.
Brady
He.
John Holmberg
He was kind of a legal cheater in that regard. Mike just lost his mind, ate the guy's ear because he took two giant headbutts in that fight that normal people would have either sliced themselves wide open or just dropped out of. So Vander's not innocent. He just shouldn't have had his ear bitten off. 98.
Brett Vesely
What?
John Holmberg
98. No way.
Brett Vesely
Well, my bears have been a heck of a lot better than I thought they're going to be this year. And what's going to even make it better is playing on the underdog app while watching him. It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's morning sickness and playing underdog is so easy. I just pick if my favorite players will go higher or lower than their projected stats. And with my Bears, Caleb Williams and leveling have been great so I'm gonna go higher on both their stats. You can play the playoffs in underdog too. Download the app today and use a promo code HMS to score 75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code HMS Underdog make picks win money must be 18 19 in Alabama, Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdog fant_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call 24. 7, Hope Line at 1-87-7-8, Hope NY or text Hope NY 467-369. It's Brett Veslie from the morning Sickness and I want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping. These guys have been great. They've been taking care of my house and you guys have heard that I've had a lot of stuff going on lately. It's been off my plate. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree work, low voltage lighting, 3D designs, patios. You name it, they can do it. So start the new year off right and get a free quote@divinedesignlawncare.com and ask for the HMS friends and family rate. That's DivineDesignLawnCare.com.
Brady
Sylvester Stallone addressed the question who would win in a fight, Rocky or Rambo? And he did his response on Instagram.
John Holmberg
I know the answer to this. Rambo, he went back and forth. Rambo wins this hands down. He's got no rules.
Brett Vesely
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
In a boxing ring, Rambo sanctions killed.
Brady
But if those fought, if Rocky could land five shots and get it done, that's the only chance he has. Because once it goes to the ground and once you take out the boxing and it goes to the street, sure, there's no way self defense training.
Brett Vesely
He kicked the hell out of Tommy Gunn. So yeah, on the street, in the.
John Holmberg
Street, in the boxing. And the worst Rocky ever. Without question, terrible Rocky. But Rambo would destroy him.
Brady
Rambo doesn't have Rocky's eyes and gouges them out.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's. Look, you put him in a ring with rules and Rambo's gonna get killed. The two just fight in a bar. Rambo's gonna have his ass. Rambo took out full army.
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
One on one with Rocky the heavyweight champ. Come on. Floyd Mayweather went to jail and got scared.
Brady
It surprised me how much Rocky or how much Sylvester Sloan said Rocky has a chance.
John Holmberg
Well, it's like having his kids fight. You can't. Rambo would slaughter Rocky in a fight.
Brady
It looks like Beetlejuice 2 is happening. Brad Pitt's company, Plan B, is now involved.
John Holmberg
And is Alex Baldwin gonna be in it?
Brady
Filming early this summer.
Brett Vesely
Somebody should have took the Plan B pill before green lighting that.
John Holmberg
I know exactly how to get rid of Beetlejuice. Give me the gun.
Brady
So far, Keaton's in, Baldwin's in. Say Baldwin Ryder is in. Tim Burton is back directing. Nothing about Baldwin.
John Holmberg
Come on. Baldwin and Geena Davis have to be in. I know they kind of died in the first one, but they can come back.
Brady
They said they're gunning to get Alec.
John Holmberg
Back in the Alphabet. I'll. I'll. I'll do Beetlejuice too, but I have to shake the rust off. Nice. Thank you. Thank you. Very proud of that. Anyway. What's it say? Birch girl's a bartender. Does he know what tool she uses to measure alcohol? Oh, yeah. Okay, don't bring that. No, don't, don't, don't do. Why would you even post that right now? Sorry, Brady. Go ahead. Finish entertaining me.
Brett Vesely
Go on.
John Holmberg
I'm gonna. Amber heard both of you.
Brady
Celebrities who have more kids than you might not have realized they might have realized they have more kids.
John Holmberg
Oh, no. It's so hard.
Brady
Than you.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's a jigger.
Brady
I know.
Larry McFeely
There it is.
John Holmberg
I knew he'd look it up. Why do people do this? It's not funny. Celebrities that have more kids than you that might be surprised means that they have kids that are super surprised. And multiple. Well beyond how many I have.
Brady
Ellipses might be surprised.
John Holmberg
Pauses. Very difficult. Try it again.
Brady
I'm out.
John Holmberg
No, do it.
Brady
Do it.
Brett Vesely
Thank you.
John Holmberg
Good night, everybody. I won't eat a d. Why are you so mad at us? That was so hard to follow. This is your one thing Brady Feisted. Celebrities that have more kids than you that might be surprised.
Brady
I don't think I said it.
John Holmberg
Like, what did he say? We all look like huh? Celebrities that have more kids than you.
Brett Vesely
Pause.
Brady
Which means that might surprise you.
John Holmberg
That means the kids are going to surprise me. That's the pause.
Brett Vesely
Go back to the tape.
John Holmberg
Am I wrong?
Brady
Yeah. I don't know what I said.
John Holmberg
That's why we all asked. Nobody knows what you said. What was the story? People with lots of kids. Go ahead, read it. Who's got them? The Duggars. We know they've got thousands.
Brady
Nick Cannon surprisingly put them in Celebrities. Well, they are.
John Holmberg
We know about them.
Brady
Alec and Hilaria Baldwin.
John Holmberg
They have like seven. That did shock me.
Brady
Number seven on the way. Elon Musk. Eight children.
Brett Vesely
He can afford wives.
Brady
He's had a set of twins and a set of triplets with his first wife and a son and a daughter with his ex girlfriend. Grimes.
John Holmberg
A couple of them over there at the Sunshine Acres. Oh, yeah.
Brady
Lost one.
John Holmberg
Oh, that's surprising.
Brady
Kevin Costner has seven kids. Hold on.
Commercial Announcer
Was there a pause there with the last one?
Brady
Lost one.
John Holmberg
Here we go again. Yeah, we all understood it. Okay.
Brady
Mel Gibson has five kids or has nine kids. Sorry, a little off.
John Holmberg
I wish Brady was my daughter.
Brady
Eddie Murphy has 10 kids.
John Holmberg
Pop up, doctor.
Brett Vesely
Pop up.
John Holmberg
How is she? She's gone to the bathroom three times. That's a good. It's a good sign.
Commercial Announcer
What about the. What about the cancer, doc?
John Holmberg
It's. It's gone.
Commercial Announcer
Awesome.
John Holmberg
Into her lungs.
Brady
Riddled.
John Holmberg
She's not gonna make it.
Larry McFeely
To dinner.
John Holmberg
To dinner tonight. She's gonna be here. She should make it through the Night of a Thousand Stars, which starts in an hour. I love the closing 8 a. D. How come you can say that so clear? Why all of a sudden are you Captain Dixon with that Holy crap, Holmberg?
Brady
I'm amazed Brady only has one kid.
Commercial Announcer
Based on all those pregnant pauses he has.
John Holmberg
Brady's aborted more sentences than Planned Parenthood. This is tough to follow, Brad.
Brady
That's all.
John Holmberg
It's past 10. You should be home with. We should be home with Ski Mask. She's already asleep, for God's sake.
Brady
I can figure out that secret.
John Holmberg
Ditto Uber with her. If that was the case, how'd you get this deal? Somebody challenged me and said in your lyrics for country music put in, let's go, Brandon. When I'm flying into the south and I know my plane is landing, I'm with my people. I know. Cause they're all chanting, let's go, Brandon. There you go. This is the easiest thing in the world. I could polish that up. And we grabbed a gun and a beer and we Walked around the store. Cause we're free to carry And I won't hear no no more. Yeah.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Screw you and your silly little country music nonsense anyway. What are you gonna do? It's 10:15. That's it. Are you writing a note? Do I get a country music note? I like when she calls me mister. She shows me some respect when my penis is in her. Oh, wait. I screwed it up. I was gonna have a good one. Ah, it's gonna almost rhyme. She knows that I'm the best because she's my sister. Sometimes you gotta massage it up. But I could get it done. I could write 100 of them by 12:30. Brady just wrote down, cause she's my sister. That's the name of the song. I like when she calls me this to her because she shows me some respect when my penis is in her. She knows that I'm the best. Cause she's my sister. It worked.
Brett Vesely
We got that.
John Holmberg
There's the chorus. Country music challenge tomorrow morning. You give me a lyric and we'll make it happen. Have almost a whole song done by the end of the deal. I just need somebody. John, you play acoustic guitar. Can you dummy up? Don't start doing that. Come on and give me a little bit of a. That's my jam. It'll be great. We're done. We're late already.
Brett Vesely
Hey, as a matter of fact, though, we do have a you festival.
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Let's give away right now. Eighth caller, 585-9-800.
Brett Vesely
Eighth caller.
John Holmberg
We'll give you Ufest tickets and we're out of here. Larry's coming up next. You guys have your day in the barrel. Don't do it yet, Brady. Tomorrow. Save it. It's out of control now. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new friends@liftedtrucks.com. here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted. Because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping. And they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized. Countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me choose Lifted trucks and lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder.
Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And what better way to kick off the new year than with a brand new Toyota from your valley Toyota dealers. New year new goals, new adventures and a new Toyota is the perfect way to get you there, whether you're tackling your commute, heading out on weekend road trips, or just wanting something more reliable for the year ahead. Toyota has the model to fit your lifestyle, so make this the year you drive smarter, safer and happier. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places.
Main Theme:
A humorous and rapid-fire segment blending celebrity news, the impact of recent comedy greats' deaths (especially Louie Anderson), plus witty banter about pop culture, movies, and outrageous news stories—delivered with the show’s signature irreverent edge.
"Oh, some bad news. Louis Anderson died. His ravaged body died from cancer. Terrible, terrible stuff."
(Jimmy Fallon, 01:39)
"If Louie Anderson could do dick in a box, it'd be such a big box... such a huge celebrity."
(Jimmy Fallon, 02:06)
"That’ll be one of the regrets … having [Louie] go and never met him. That sucks. So Louie Anderson's gone."
(John Holmberg, 05:15)
"Baskets is so good. It's one of those things that's so funny, you don't laugh, you just go, 'that's amazing.'"
(John Holmberg, 04:04)
"Evander Holyfield tried to break people's face with the back of his head. He was a headbutting machine..."
(John Holmberg, 07:22)
"You put him in a ring with rules and Rambo's gonna get killed. The two just fight in a bar, Rambo's gonna have his ass."
(John Holmberg, 10:31)
"Brady's aborted more sentences than Planned Parenthood..."
(John Holmberg, 15:14)
On Louie Anderson's Death:
"That’s a big one. That’s a big loss for funny. We lost a few good ones: Norm and Bob and Louie. That’s rough..."
(John Holmberg, 05:07)
On Baskets:
"Baskets is so good. It’s one of those things that's so funny, you don't laugh … your body doesn't react with laughter, it reacts with 'Jesus, that's creative.'"
(John Holmberg, 04:04)
On Mike Tyson’s Ear Gummies:
"Wait, is it the ear that's bitten off or the part of the ear that he bit off? Yeah, it's the chunk."
(John Holmberg, 06:55)
Comedy on Brady’s Pacing:
"Brady's aborted more sentences than Planned Parenthood."
(John Holmberg, 15:14)
Country Song Parody Line:
"I like when she calls me mister, she shows me some respect when my penis is in her. Oh, wait, I screwed it up … she knows that I'm the best because she's my sister."
(John Holmberg, 16:22)
This episode offers a classic blend of heartfelt appreciation for departed comedy legends, fresh entertainment news, and the kind of boundary-pushing banter that keeps Holmberg’s Morning Sickness compelling for fans of unfiltered talk radio.