Holmberg’s Morning Sickness Podcast Summary

Episode: 01-20-26
Date: January 20, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

Episode Overview

This lively episode centers on recent animal-related news and humanity’s relationship with both nature and each other. John Holmberg riffs on an elephant going rogue in India—which sparks a humorous but insightful examination of animal fear, human fragility, and the ways we lack common enemies these days. The crew weaves in reactions to a massive coronal mass ejection event, offering a satirical take on what would happen if solar flares knocked out modern technology—and why only radio station execs (“the Bobs”) would be thrilled. The tone is irreverent, sarcastic, and full of vivid anecdotes.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why John Holmberg Fears All Animals (vs. Brady)

• Main Story Prompt: News about a wild elephant stampede in India inspires Holmberg’s avowed distrust of all animals—no matter how “friendly” others claim they are.
  • “My built-in Johnny mechanism is: Elephant close, Johnny’s hiding. I don’t stand there and see an elephant within a few yards of me and think, ‘We’re good.’” (07:13 - John)
• He compares people’s blasé attitudes about wild animals to Siegfried and Roy’s fate with tigers.
  • “I wouldn’t want to be in the pool with a friend’s dog whose nails are too long... Imagine the tiger, like, accidentally, it slices you open. Just gotcha.” (08:36 - John)
• Contrasts his own caution with co-host Brady’s nonchalance (“Brady picks stuff up off the ground. This is a gila monster. Like, oh god. Put it down!”), relating it to his universal fear—even of ants.

2. Using Rogue Animals to Solve Human Conflict

Satirically, Holmberg proposes solving protests and social unrest by simply unleashing dangerous animals—rogue elephants, specifically. - “Put elephants on the streets. We don’t have anything to fear on the roads anymore... The protest is over. Everything’s over. Put elephants on the streets.” (14:37 - John)

• They joke about how, unlike humans, unpredictable animals could unite warring sides:
  • “We need some rogue animals to wander our streets like they have in India... when that [elephant] thing started to go, you know what? ‘I’m an elephant for a minute,’ and just took off. None of them were arguing about politics at all for a couple days. The whole thing was like, ‘I’m on your team, brother.’” (18:43 - John)
• The co-hosts riff on who’d be the sacrificial friend when a wild animal appears and how everyone would “unite” when facing a nonhuman menace.

3. Cows Using Tools: Is Darwinism Knocking?

• The group marvels at footage of cows using brooms as scratching tools—an unexpected leap in animal problem-solving.
  • “Cows. They picked up brooms with their mouths... She picked up the broom, figured it out, and then realized, ‘Oh, I can reach my back with this.’ And she picks it up and scratches her back and puts it back.” (26:30 - John)
• John jokes that cows becoming “too smart” isn’t an immediate threat, but considering how some humans act, maybe “we’d rather be friends with a cow.”

4. Coronal Mass Ejection Event & Sun Flares

• The crew discusses the real-time occurrence of a major coronal mass ejection (CME), with solar flares possibly disrupting power grids, technology, and communications.
  • “The sun is doing huge dances right now, and it’s causing the aurora borealis to slip way south… It’s called the coronal mass ejection. Like that. We watch too much porn to not have those words make us giggle the entire time.” (31:20 - John)
• They keep a juvenile mood, riffing on the “adult” phrasing of scientific terms.
  • “Don’t search it because you’re going to see Johnny Sins doing some work. Coronal mass… what is it… EJECTION action!” (33:10 - John)
• John ponders whether existential threats like solar storms could finally unite society—if only temporarily.
  • “If the sun got mad, do you think that would finally be the thing that makes humanity go enough arguing?” (36:02 - John)

5. Could a Shared Enemy Reunite Society?

• The group reflects on how, historically, having a clear, external enemy unifies people ("Remember 9/11 for like 4 days. I’ve never been more united with everybody...," 41:29 - John).
• John regrets we now “fight over dumber stuff than ever” and longs for us to “hate each other over real things,” like sports rivalries, not politics.
• Speculates that if a solar flare shut down tech for a week, we'd either unite or descend into mass chaos—and only radio would survive, to the delight of radio execs ("the Bobs").

6. Radio’s Place in a Tech Apocalypse & Industry Satire

• After razzing "the Bobs" for hoping disaster would resuscitate radio, John imagines how radio would adapt in a world without the internet.
  • “Radio’s the one thing that works. It's hanging its hat on that too… I've had a Bob actually say that to me: ‘You know, if we had some sort of a nuclear meltdown, the only thing that would work was airwave radio.’” (47:03 - John)
• Paints a post-flare vision: polaroids taped to station walls, “free water” at the van, and radio contests for “death gurgles.”
  • “Call me with your last breath at kdkb. We want to hear your death gurgle. 11 seconds—you want a thousand dollars?” (51:07 - John, joking radio promo)
• Mocks execs: “The numbers looking in Cincinnati—not good, Bob, not good at all. We really need a massive death from the sun to help this program.” (54:35 - John)
• Jokes about radio stunts amid catastrophe, like using bumper stickers for sloughing skin.

7. Musical Interlude – “Picking Boogers” and “Breakfast with Prince”

• The song “Picking Boogers” by Biz Markie is discussed and briefly played.
  • “Picking Boogers is a song? Yes. What, you never heard it? It’s terrible... That’s on his best-of album. That and Just a Friend.” (56:22 - Bret, John)
• John triggers laughter and listener engagement by referencing the infamous “Breakfast with Prince” local YouTube video, poking fun at the weatherman-turned-singer’s accent and performance (“Some people want to be movie stars, driving fancy cows...” 01:01:00).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Problem-Solving Protests:
  “Put elephants on the streets. Whoever is the last man standing—it's kind of when the Mexicans do those bull poker games, you know, those… And then nobody wins, because I don’t think anybody’s gonna...” (15:00 - John)
• On Society’s Need for a Common Enemy:
  “We need people to kind of get back to that primal feeling of like danger lurking that isn’t human controlled. You can’t sue it later. You can’t get mad at it.” (18:20 - John)
• On Tech Blackouts and Radio’s Opportunity:
  “Imagine that, if the sun got mad at us and turned off our phone… Radio’s the one thing that works… Bob’s Radio, Bob’s would be thrilled if there was a nuclear accident.” (48:08 - John)
• On Scientific Terminology:
  “Coronal mass ejection… Even scientists can’t say that and not giggle. ‘We’re looking tonight at coronal mass ejection in my wife’s mouth!’ Okay, I had to say it. I’m sorry.” (01:05:42 - John)
• On “Breakfast with Prince” Video:
  “Some people want to be movie stars, driving fancy cows… Why is the weatherman doing this? And he means it. Oh, God.” (01:12:34 - John)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 07:13 — John discusses innate fear of animals and animal unpredictability
• 14:37 — The tongue-in-cheek plan: Use rogue elephants to break up protests
• 18:43 — Joking about real unity in the face of animal menace
• 26:30 — Cows caught using tools: the broom incident
• 31:20 — Coronal mass ejection event: solar flare disruptions and innuendo
• 41:29 — United by shared enemies: historical reflection (post-9/11, Cold War)
• 47:03 — Radio as disaster survivor; lampooning management optimism
• 54:35 — Imagined post-apocalyptic radio contests and stunts
• 56:22 — “Picking Boogers” musical interlude
• 01:01:00 — “Breakfast with Prince” comedic breakdown and listener reactions

Concluding Thoughts

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a rapid-fire blend of topical humor, societal commentary, animal fears, and tongue-in-cheek doomsday prepping—always circling back to the futility and absurdity of modern divides. The hosts demonstrate that, in their world, laughter remains the sharpest way to address the world’s weirdness—whether it’s rogue elephants, existential solar storms, or the death throes of terrestrial radio.