01-20-26 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 01-20-26 – FULL SHOW – TUESDAY
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: January 20, 2026
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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Overview

This raucous, fast-paced episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness jumps out of a sports-drenched Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend with plenty to celebrate, complain about, and ridicule. John, Brady, Brett, and Toledo dissect recent NFL playoff drama, roast hapless Arizona Cardinals owner Michael Bidwill, debate everything from boogers as protest to the future of radio and even the aurora borealis. It’s all delivered in their irreverent, laugh-a-minute tone — loaded with hard opinions, wild tangents, and off-the-rails banter.

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Episode Highlights & Key Segments

MLK Weekend Sports Mania & NFL Playoff Recap

• (00:38 – 11:48)

• John jokes that MLK’s “real dream” — every American, black or white, unified on the couch for a full weekend of football and basketball — has finally been realized.
• Stories from the crew’s own weekends: time spent at Talking Stick Casino, collective football immersion, and friendly rivalry jabs.
• Bears Lose, Seahawks Hopeful:
  • Bret laments the Bears’ OT playoff loss; John and Toledo poke fun at manifesting Super Bowl dreams or “jinxing” their teams.
  • “If I’d have told you back in September you’re going to lose in the division round of the playoffs in overtime…”
    — John to Bret (03:05)
• Deep dive into eye-rolling at Patriots fans and conspiracy theories about NFL officiating.
• Patriots' Revival:
  • John: “Could this team be more blessed with bigger assholes as fans?” (05:14)
  • Bills fans, Denver drama, and NFL “scripted” conspiracies.

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Boogers for Bidwill: A Campaign is Born

• (11:48 – 40:36)

• John leads an epic, extended roast of Cardinals owner Michael Bidwill, naming him the “biggest loser” of the NFL weekend due to high-profile NFL coaching vacancies making the Cardinals job even less desirable.
• The Booger Protest:
  • Inspired by bad bosses, booger art, and civic frustration, John launches the “Feed Michael Bidwill Your Boogers” movement:
    • “He needs boogers every day until this team does something where you’re like, hey, he’s figured it out. Boogers. Everybody should... just do it.” (27:56)
  • The hosts riff on making Bidwill as unwelcome in Phoenix as possible, comparing Cardinals fans’ suffering to being perpetually disappointed in an ugly spouse.
• Legendary Rant Moments:
  • “He’s the Yoko [Ono] without Lennon… you didn’t even have the Beatle by your side!” — John (23:57)
  • “If he's at Starbucks... The barista should go ‘next, b*tch’... Your money's poisoned.” — John (25:41)

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Solar Flares, Elephants in the Streets, & The End of the World

• (47:00 – 67:17)

• Solar Flare Panic:
  • The crew discusses a “coronal mass ejection” and potential for the Northern Lights to be seen as far south as Arizona; John can’t stop giggling at the name (“coronal mass ejection... they're trolling us!” 59:04).
• Only Radio Survives:
  • Enthusiastically, the guys imagine a world where only radio survives the solar shutdown:
    • “Radio is the one thing that works. It's hanging its hat on that too... The Bobs would be excited.” (64:07)
• “Release the Elephants!”
  • John argues the only way to unite America’s divided protestors is to unleash angry rogue elephants like in India, so at least they’ll have a common danger.
    • “Put one of them mean elephants out there... whoever is the last man standing [wins].” (46:49)
  • Laughter and dark analogies abound as John insists humans have gotten too soft, and primal terror is the missing ingredient for unity.

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Booger Art, AI Cows & Transcendent Tangents

• (34:33 – 57:12)

• Off-the-wall tales such as a disgruntled tenant using boogers and blood to scrawl messages on walls, and cows developing tool use to scratch their itches:
  • “He wrote his name in the last two weeks he was there on the front wall in boogers and blood.” — John (34:33)
  • “She picked up a broom… used it to scratch her back… It’s the first use ever of bovine tools. That’s how it starts.” — John (56:31)
• Spirited digressions about animal intelligence, odd news, and the ever-present risk of AI advancement (including robo-cops in China).

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What Would Brady Do? — Listener Advice Segment

• (123:29 – 143:34)

1. Son Quits Sports for Poetry
   • Listener’s 14-year-old, 6’2” kid drops all sports for poetry—dad is at a loss.
   • Panel suggests combining poetry with sports:
     • “Why don’t you write your old man a poem about football... make him watch a game with you and write a poem about it.” — John (124:30)
   • Humorous resignation to “just let your strapping young twink poetry boy” do his thing.
2. Wife Addicted to Holistic Medicine
   • Listener’s wife spent $100k on ‘wellness’ last year. Should he cut her off?
   • John: “If you spend a hundred grand and I'm going through my taxes, and you're not better, we're redistributing that somewhere else.” (138:51)
   • The group debates men’s and women’s very different relationships to doctors, wellness, and self-care.

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Music, AI Songs, and Segment Staple "Hot Releases"

• (144:25 – 162:00)

• Reviews of new music, including Metallica/ Megadeth side-talk, the AI disco song “Nut in My Butt” (“That’s beautiful. That’s poetry.” — John, 160:26) and bluesy AI-generated lyrics (“Your cat smells like a dead catfish…” – 157:53).
• Calls for an “end to Yacht Rock” on men’s golf outings; John exasperated by boat-groove anthems on the greens.
• Revivals discussed: new Star Search, HBO’s “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms,” and “Fouda,” (the Israeli thriller John plugs heavily).
  • “This show is intense… It’s one of the better shows I’ve watched in a long time. You got that whole Jews versus Arab thing. And they’re human.” — John (146:43)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On NFL Conspiracies & Officiating

• “If ever you think football is rigged, look no further than that Bills Broncos game… the reception... the next game, exact same play...” — John (08:53)

On the Cardinals' Coaching Situation

• “The coach that takes [the Cardinals job]… I’m the least desirable head coaching candidate because the Cardinals were the only ones that hired me.” — John (11:48)

On Boogers for Bidwill

• “Not suggesting it. I’m demanding it now.” — John, re: giving Bidwill his daily booger tribute (27:56)
• “Feed those to Michael Bidwill. Every Cardinal fan should be on board with my program.” — John (32:15)

On American Unity

• “We need elephants now, immediately… they get the job done… and for a couple days [in India], none of them were arguing about politics at all. The whole thing was like, ‘I’m on your team, brother.’” — John (50:24)

On Men vs. Women & Health

• “If you as a man went to a dude who charged you $450 for the bionic band… and it didn’t work, and then you went back… you’d say no.” — John (135:40)
• “If you spend a hundred grand and you don’t feel better, you wanna keep doing it? Cut it off.” — John (135:51)

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Other Fun Bits & Segments

• “N-word or F-word” — Predicting which slur/curse word appears in a rap song first.
• “Brady Report / Hot Releases” — New pop culture drops, true to the show's irreverent style, including review asides on game shows, prime time melodramas, and streamable series.
• Random Movie Trivia — Debunking the “dead munchkin” Wizard of Oz myth; Pulp Fiction’s briefcase doesn’t have a ‘secret meaning’; Titanic’s door actually wouldn’t hold Jack and Rose after all.
• AI & Algorithm Jokes — The guys riff on the wild stuff buried in each other’s social media feeds, from AI-generated music to grotesque surgically-altered faces.

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Overall Tone and Delivery

• Wild, irreverent, and extremely local: Everything is framed with Arizona/Valley sports pain, inside jokes, and regional commentary.
• Free-association humor: Long tangents—sports to personal horror stories to booger-based activism—blend seamlessly.
• Camaraderie & Roasting: The cast loves to needle each other (and their old bosses, home team owners, and anyone else in the local news).
• Memorable Imagery: From booger walls to rogue elephants chasing protestors, the show is rich with over-the-top visual metaphors.

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Suggested Listening Timestamps & Key Segments

• Sports Weekend Recap: 00:38–11:48
• Cardinals/Bidwill Roast / Booger Campaign: 11:48–40:36
• Solar Flares/Elephants/Radio Rants: 47:00–67:17
• What Would Brady Do?: 123:29–143:34
• Music/AI/Yacht Rock: 144:25–162:00

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If you crave local sports catharsis, aggressive satire, and an unfiltered, hilarious tour through pop culture and personal grudges — this episode is a must. Just be glad you’re not Michael Bidwill.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one.

[John]

Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P.

[Byron]

Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it.

[John]

It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? There's. It's the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's do this thing and get through a Tuesday, shall we? I don't know if it's. Oh. I don't know if it's supposed to be this way, but Martin Luther King weekend is all about the sports. I don't know if that was his dream. Man, oh, man. What? What weekend for him. Okay. Yeah. Because he was a man with a dream. I have a dream of not moving off the couch from Saturday starting at 10 until Monday night at 10pm that's pretty much what all of us did. That was amazing. Football, every second of the day, if you wanted, it was on. And then yesterday, all day basketball. Leading up, it was just. MLK's dream has come true. We are all black, white, all getting together, doing the exact same thing. That was a unified weekend. I had a lovely evening. Sunday at Talking Stick Resort and Casino. Wonderful people, everybody out there, Just glorious. I had a dream, and they handed it over. It was a really nice. I'm just happy. It's almost like the Ravens lost again. I had such a. Just a nice weekend. It was really nice. Anyway, and then. Sorry to Brett. You know what, though? The Bears, they go down in a game that was, like, almost over, and then they almost did it again. It was fun to watch. They're a year ahead of schedule. Enjoy your run. That was fun.

[Brett Vesely]

It was a great game. I mean, other than the outcome for me. But I mean, that last pass that he threw to get overtime, like, wow, Ridiculous.

[John]

Yeah. Caleb is starting to show that that was a legitimate. This is what Kyler Murray was supposed to do. Yeah. Change the franchise. And he is a legit. I didn't think he had it in the beginning. And in college, I'm like, don't trust the USC quarterback doing too much. He's just. He's just a USC guy. And they're like. Some of them make. They're just. They're flashy. They can put up numbers. They're not clutch. Dude is clutch. And he's proving it week after week. So Bears fans have something to be happy about. Right. That's miserable to go. Yeah. Miserable to go out. But you.

[Byron]

Brett's painting his nails and he's drinking matcha Tea.

[John]

You were in the 18. If I'd have told you back in September you're going to lose in the division round of the playoffs in overtime.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd have told you you're full of.

[John]

And you'd be like, there's no way. And you're like, would you take it?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

I mean, would you take being that close a field goal away?

[Brett Vesely]

And again, it's kind of like you. You know, we. We beat the. We beat the packers two out of three games this season. Knocked them out of the playoffs. I'm good.

[John]

Yeah, that's. That's where your joy lives, isn't the other guy's hate and pain? And it's. It's great that you had that. So Toledo's it. Toledo is all we've got.

[Brett Vesely]

And did you buy a Super bowl ticket?

[John]

We have been through this once before with Richard where he kind of gets a little ahead of himself when his team does well and Seahawks look pretty good. Pretty dumb. I mean, I would. I wouldn't. I wouldn't make fun of him too much. Here he comes. Here we go. Oops. That's not it. It's the other one. There you go. That's the wrong. Happy. Here he comes. Happy. There you are. You did not buy super bowl tickets yet. Are you going to? I have looked at the price. You're an idiot. Stop it. Did you not learn? Don't get them until they're in it.

[Byron]

I haven't done anything yet.

[John]

Cuz if you start doing that, you're the jinx. I know you learned that with the Mariners.

[Brett Vesely]

What are. What are the tickets going for right now? I don't know.

[John]

I didn't look. That's why. No, no, no.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't look.

[John]

You started to look. You did look. You're lying.

[Toledo]

I look like six months ago.

[John]

Oh, wow. That's a little presumptuous. That's silly. He's planning. You thought the Seahawks had a chance months ago?

[Byron]

No, no, no.

[Toledo]

I just wanted to know what the. What the pricing was.

[John]

Congratulations to you. That team looks they're on fire at the right time.

[Toledo]

49Er fans cry all you want to about your third string team. That's all you keep yelling at me about.

[John]

Hey, that's all they field.

[Toledo]

That was exactly. They were the ones on the field.

[John]

Yeah, they constantly put a third string team out there because for some reason they can't stay healthy and have a choice.

[Toledo]

But I noticed you didn't when you beat Philly.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Take that. It had to feel good. I mean, imagine that, Brad. Your main rival and you knock them out of the playoffs.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

I mean, you did that. But I mean, this was on the way to the Super Bowl. Now here's the one thing. I'm gonna bring everybody down, especially Cardinal fans. It would appear that the New England Patriots have rebuilt an entire operation in about three years. And the evil empire's back.

[Byron]

Oh, it's back.

[John]

Of course.

[Toledo]

One of the architects of it, Vrabel.

[John]

Is at the helm. Yeah. And they came marching off that field and I'm like, could this team be more blessed with bigger assholes as fans? Like, there's no fan that's worse than the mass holes of New England. None worse. And they're. And I'm starting to see it again. All your stupid little stickers are back and they're brand new because we know how to win.

[Toledo]

They are shiny.

[John]

Oh, and they're back screaming wearing their Patriots. I got golfing Sunday. I went golfing with my friend Sunday afternoon while the Patriots game's on. He's in a patriot sweater hat, blue like knickers. Rant a pair of pull up red and white socks and I'm like, the game's on right now. Yeah, go patch. Like you're not watching it. You're not a. You're not a big fan. You're an angel. Golf like a jackass. So they're back. Payne Stewart, they're back. And could they get more blessed that Bo Nix blows up and Denver has to go with Jared Stidham in the AFC championship. Not on the nail belt. All lies. Oh, it is. The NFL is lying. He was not injured at the end of that game. He went and did the post game presser and kind of Bounced out of there and he got hurt celebrating in the locker room. And they don't want to talk about it because that kid was fun. You're telling me if he broke his foot on one on a kneel down, he wouldn't have been in a blue tent. They're not parading him out there to go shake hands with anybody going to the AFC championship game. If he's like, coach, I did. You don't just go, maybe I broke it. You. You know, wow, stop playing that.

[Byron]

So why then? Because they broke it on the celebration.

[John]

That gamblers would hate it. The NFL can't have that. They want the celebrations to be legit. You can't. You got to say something. He might have twisted a little. That dude broke his foot in the. I watched the post game. He was fine. He would have said, yeah, I did something. I tweaked. I'm gonna go check it out in the tent. He kind of jogged off and I'm like, you know, if he's got a surgery riddled ankle, nobody standing near him like he would. Are you kidding me? Bo Nicks that would imagine.

[Byron]

You can walk around on a sure.

[John]

Fracture, but you go. If they knew in. In Peyton's press conference it was a broken foot. No, he heard him.

[Byron]

He.

[John]

It was an ugly break. Surgery break. An ugly break in the locker room. There is no way we got told the truth. Absolutely. He was definitely.

[Byron]

But looking at him when he did that final. There's a little stumble tweak. There was two. Two little tweaks.

[Toledo]

But to break your ankle, break it.

[John]

To need surgery and particular and then still go out and shake hands with everybody. You're protecting that quarterback. If he's got this. If he's got a hangnail at that point. Like, is your foot hurt? Yeah, it hurts a little bit. You walk. If he had enough to tell somebody, hey, I need to go get this checked right now. There's no way he was celebrating. There is no way that happened on a kneel down. That's just a lie. And I don't know. I don't know the real reasons why, but I think the real reasons are to say that somebody from the NFL went in there with a bat and cracked his ankle during the celebration. So the Patriots should get back in the mother Super Bowl. They love them.

[Toledo]

What does some of the memes. Bill Belichick stands with the camera.

[John]

Bill Belichick shot that kid in the foot. My work here is done. Back to North Carolina and my sweet, sweet young poon. Yeah. There is no Way I'm buying that. That story came out as Bo Nix was running around the end of the game and, you know, two seconds later.

[Byron]

It's tougher for the Bronco fans, too. Not only that.

[John]

Yes.

[Byron]

The fact that they're saying, you know, want to say that that game should have been over earlier.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Byron]

Because of that safety that they missed the holding call when Josh was in the end zone. That would have been over.

[John]

The Bills just. Roger Goodell hates them there. If, If. If ever you have been in a situation where you think football is rigged, look no further than that Bills Broncos game, because the reception. The very next game, they had the exact same play. They reviewed it. Yeah, it was. It was the same place. Said it was an incomplete pass.

[Brett Vesely]

It was the same play.

[John]

And then it was the exact. Like. It was almost like the glitch in the matrix. Change the jerseys.

[Brett Vesely]

That's about the only difference play.

[Byron]

They said it was a complete pass.

[John]

Or they said it was complete pass. I said, right. It was a complete pass. But he was down on contact.

[Byron]

Down by contact.

[John]

I mean, the arms were in the same spot. Everything was the same. They didn't even look at it in Denver. They just calling the field was what it was. We're not even going to. No. No need to assist that. You're like, are you kidding me? They spent no time on it. And that next one. I mean, the Bills and. But here's the big loser for this weekend, and this is typical of NFL weekends, the biggest loser this weekend. And I'm going to go ahead and say it. It's going to hurt people. Your Arizona Cardinals. There's another great job opened up in the NFL in Buffalo with Josh Allen at quarterback, which puts the Cardinals coach. They are in the worst year ever to be the crapp franchise looking for a coach because you're getting scraps.

[Brett Vesely]

They just lost to the Titans, too.

[John]

Yeah. Robert Salah went to the Titans and the. I don't know what Miami just did. They hired the DC from Green Bay with all these. I don't. I wouldn't have jumped on that. But now Sean McDermott is probably somebody you might go get. He's not going to change a franchise. But all. Now everybody's like, hold on, Cardinals, we don't need your call. The Bills job is open. I can coach Josh Allen and then. Or come here and coach Kyler Murray maybe or John Harvard or whomever you like. Damn it. Yeah, I. That's what I was thinking when AR was like, oh, the Bills. I didn't know but, yeah, you have got to get to the super bowl as a head coach in the NFL, if you're. If you've got a. An MVP quarterback, you get like one or two runs at it and then you're out. So the Bills job opens up, the Ravens job is open, the Steelers job is open. And the Cardinals sit back like, yeah, yeah, we're going to interview a couple of guys. You're. Michael Bidwell is going to have to coach that team next year, and that's what I think he should do. That way he can get pel.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, but how's he going to.

[John]

Get to the Rah Rah room? Well, he can leave early. Buddy Ryan used to do it. You throw beer and hot dogs at him and you can actually hit him instead of having him up in his Roman suite. Yeah. This is the biggest loser this weekend, after The Bills fired McDermott was the Arizona Cardinals. That job got less. Somehow managed to get less desirable. You have Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen looking for coaches. Do you think the Cardinals phone is ringing off the hook now? Some homeless dudes like, oh, dirt. That's what Bidwell's going to end up with. It's going to be a cruddy hire. It's going to be a real.

[Byron]

It's going to be like Ghostbusters over there.

[John]

We got one. That's it. And you're going to get up just some guy standing on the sidelines for a year going, well, who wants that job? And the coach that takes. It's going to be like, oh, I'm the least desirable head coaching candidate because the Cardinals were the only ones that hired me. With all of these jobs open, even Tennessee is more favorable because they've got, you know, nobody knows if Cam Ward's any good yet. Anyway, football.

[Byron]

Does Gannon get back into the mix?

[John]

Not as a head coach. I don't think the Cardinals kind of. You know, when you bathe in your own feces for three years, you got to go to the showers. So he's got to take a step back, clean up, and then come back. He's got a.

[Byron]

If he's a head coach, Cleveland brings him back.

[John]

Wouldn't be surprised. Remember. Remember that terrible boss we had? His name. I don't want to say it out loud because I don't want him to sue, but his name was Marv Nyron and he's one of the worst bosses I've ever had. One of the dumbest people I've ever met. Made a ton of mistakes. I still have paperwork of his lies. But Marv was, you know, slick. He's one of those slick guys, look.

[Brett Vesely]

Good, guns out and everything.

[John]

That was another dude named Clancy. He's equally as awful, but throwing guns out and lying to you to your face. And you're catching them with lies, and they just smiling. We'll see you next time. Catch on the flip side. They say stuff like that. They're like, guy Fieri before he was Guy Fieri. Hey, put on a flip flop. We'll get to you on the other end. Like, yuck, you slimy bastard. Anyway, I don't want to disparage him by name, but his name was Marv Nyren. And I remember we had a. We had a program director at the Zone, our old radio station. And he came up and he. He was the first person I ever worked for. His name was Chris. And Chris was. I only met him once, and he was fired. Boom, gone. And he goes to Los Angeles to be an assistant program director. Essentially, they call the music directors for his girlfriend who ran a radio station in Los Angeles. That's how radio works. Your girlfriend can hire you. It's very rare. So she hires him. So about a year later, maybe a little longer than that, I'm now doing the morning show at kzon. And Marvin, I. Slick. Boom, Bam Bam. How you doing? Catch me on the flip side. How you doing? I'm a slick man. Is this your wallet? How'd my end get in there? I don't know how I did that. I stole that. Comes to me and he goes, hey, because I got rid of the program director, a friend of mine named Paul. But that's okay. It's business, right? So he comes and he goes, we got the best. Like, this is how oblivious this idiot is in the bidwell sense. We got the best. The best dude coming in. I'm like, all right, good Mike Scratch. Yeah, he's coming out of Los Angeles. He works at Star. I'm like, oh. Said, I know a guy who works there. He's like, oh, yeah? He said, yeah, he's the. He's the music director there right now. But he's had some program like Chris Abbott. And he goes, you know him? I'm like, he was the program director here before you fired Paul, and his eyes just got huge. He's like, what? Like, did you not look at his. No. Did you not look at his resume? You just hired back the guy we fired to put in the guy you just fired. And I'm like, 24 or 25 at the time. I'm Looking at him like, am I the smartest one in the room right now? That scares me. And he looked at me. He goes, I'll be right back. They had no idea that they had hired a guy that used to be.

[Byron]

The coach I did in sales.

[John]

Yeah. You lived with him. This wouldn't surprise me if Bidwell just hired Gannon back, is what I'm saying. Like, if it would just be like, let's do it like Billy Martin for the Yankees. Let's do it again. Yeah. Oh, Gannon might be the only guy left. And then we have to. Marv Nyman on our way back into this. That dude was so. That dude was so bad that me as a young boy new to the business, Green, they call you. Went to him and said, hey, I know we just went through an ownership change. Like, a lot of weird stuff happening. And I'm like, I'm not really cement here in my morning show. I think we're doing okay. But I'm. I just bought a house thinking that this was. And I'm. But I can get out of it. They're building it. I can get out of it. If. If you say, yeah, it's. It's. Just be my friend right now. Just be. It's a little. I wouldn't do this right now. Just. I asked him, and he goes, not only should you do that, I'm. Because the Beezer Homes needed confirmation that I was going to have a job. He wrote a flowery letter to them saying that I was part of the future. January 1st, I'm going to get this, this, and this. And he's good. And they're. And so I'm like, I literally had $26,000 to my name that was going to this build, and I had to give it to him on a specific date. Asked him, he said, go get him. All I would have lost was five grand had he just said, don't do this. So I give him that. I give him the note that confirms my everything I still have.

[Byron]

You go all in.

[John]

Still have this letter. Go all in. I'm like, thanks, buddy. I appreciate that. I get fired January 6, five days after he writes less, and. And I'm out the 27 grand. I'm done. Everything's over. Didn't have the. And then, so a year later, he comes up to me. He's like, hey, we're good, right? And I'm like, oh, we are far from good. What did I do to you? And I'm like, you're a piece of. Is what you Are. And he's in this little Fiesta bowl jacket. Then he tried to hire me to Chicago a couple years later. He was always trying to scam his way back in. Crooked pile of garbage, that guy. That's my personal opinion. Some people might like him, but I've been on the other end of him. Thus my hatred for the Bob's. And you should hate your Bobs too, because they reach in your pocket all the time. But yeah, he should work for the Cardinals because he was equally as stupid and oblivious as they are.

[Brett Vesely]

There's the Cardinals. Last phone call.

[John]

Apparently you got a coach of the Cleveland Indians. Can't say it. He's the coach of the Indians for Major League. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

I got a guy on the other line for some white walls.

[John]

Get him a heater, Ricky. I don't know. He got a guy that a lot about some white walls. You want to coach the Indians? He's get. No, he wanted to buy some tires. That's who they're going to get. And I feel bad. The Cardinals have.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe Bidwell should hire Marv for his gm.

[John]

Oh, he should be the GM slick there with her. Hey, cool. I get to go to. I get to play golf for free with everybody. And I have. No. I'm just building relationships. Hey, your team's terrible.

[Byron]

Tyler, you're solid.

[John]

Yeah. On your watch.

[Byron]

You're our guy. I'm sorry, we gotta.

[John]

Yeah. Hey, Kyler, you're the man. You know what? You should buy a space shuttle. You see? Yeah. Kyler. Oh, man, my new ball's cool. That's my impression of Kyler. It's been a minute, but yeah, he'd fit right in over there with them putting suits on and slicking their way through. Hey, where people love us, right? Like. No, you know what they are? They're Harley Davidson lawyers. The dudes that ride around on nice days. The lawyers that bought Harley Davidsons. And they're like the fringe and the tough look and they're loud and they ride by the cafes and they annoy and they look around like everybody thinks that they're. Hey, we're the ones. Everybody. And everybody's looking at you going you.

[Brett Vesely]

The Paradise Valley Riders.

[John]

The PV riders. Wasn't that a song in Grease too? The PV riders. P E E E V Rider.

[Byron]

Live to ride. Ride the brunch.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that. He's one of those. He'd put the brand new jeans on and maybe like scuff it up against a tire on his way out of the garage. Make it some stains put his cool glasses on. He'd have one of those weird skull bells because that's what they do. And then he'd fire that thing up nice and loud and think that everybody's looking at him like, man, where's that male model going next? And I have an answer for that. Brady's Hell, that's usually the next stop. Sometimes I think of people like that.

[Byron]

And I'm like, john, I'm sorry, but the. It was a sudden firing because of.

[John]

The focus groups came back and I didn't have time for that. Here's the fun thing. It just popped in my head. Dear, dearest of Brady's gods, could someone be a donor for Brady's kidney that we're talking about? Could that have. Could we get someone out there who could accidentally run one of their brand new motorcycles off a cliff and then their kidneys go into Brady? That would be the ultimate. Thank you, dearest of Brady's gods. Lord almighty baby Jesus. I don't want to name names, but you know who I'm talking about. I think we both know you can read my mind, right? All right, good. Thanks, captain. That would be awesome if you got his kidney. Oh, man, would that be great. That would be worth the 30 grand I lost. Oh, yeah, that would be pretty sweet.

[Byron]

It's worked out pretty well.

[John]

All right, calm down. It still hurt. That's not rose. Don't do that to me right now. Of course it worked out pretty well for both. He's still doing all right too. I'm waiting for his failure, he's waiting for mine. There goes Brady in his rose colored glasses. What are you complaining about? Things went great for you. I love to go wandering.

[Byron]

Man, you gotta hate people.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on.

[John]

Yeah, come on, man. I tell you that story and you still give me. It's gone. Well, could have gone even better. Who knows? Holmberg's morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible. Radiate upd Homburg's morning sickness. Maybe that mountain I had to climb early on to the next game. Well, it's right, but I. And I won that next game. But I didn't like. I didn't like the floundering part. I was winning the first game anyway. This guy says, john, don't worry about the Seahawks. Would be just like Toledo's dad. They ain't showing up. I hope actually Toledo. I hope he gets in the super bowl this year and then loses to you. Just want to crush the Patriots again.

[Byron]

I don't know, I don't want the Patriots.

[John]

They're in. They are in. Jared Stidham is not going to win an inter football in a game since 2023.

[Byron]

There's a really good chance that they're.

[John]

Oh, they're in. Pretty much. They're in.

[Byron]

And if they win it.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

There'll be endless Dave Portnoy video.

[John]

Oh, my God. And I can't look at him anymore. He's. He's the face of.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought I was getting sick of him. I thought I was the only one.

[John]

Oh, no, no, no. I can't look at his face. He is the epitome of a Boston sports fan. And I love what he does for the dog.

[Byron]

Stirs it up on purpose, of course.

[John]

He's a troll. Yeah, he's. He's figured the Internet out. He's. He's a troll. And then he did something to where you troll and you're like, I hate that guy. And then he brings out Ms. Peaches.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

And the dog stuff. And like, all right, he's not that bad. They're like, no, still a troll. Yeah, it's rough, but, yeah, it's going to be tough. The Cardinals are the big losers this weekend. And I don't know, they're sitting there smiling, golfing. The city love that. No, they don't. Like, you don't understand. How do you get how hated you are? Does he understand that? You know what I hate? I. I went to Lifted trucks the other day to do a thing with the guys, and a guy inside there is like, hey, you, homework. I'm like, yeah. And talking to him because I listen all the time. Yeah, that's what. He didn't scream.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, Mark wasn't.

[John]

Mark wasn't with me. So I. I put. And put my arm around, do a picture, and he goes, oh, man, this is awesome. Like, thanks. And he goes, my wife's gonna hate this. I'm like, why? She goes, she hates you. Like, thanks. That's a great way to close her up. And then we start laughing. I'm like, that's all right. That bothered me for like a few minutes. Can you imagine being Michael Bidwell? Like, everyone hates him. He doesn't have anybody in the city's like, ooh, there's Michael Bidwell. It's all, ew. It's like when somebody shows up with, like, and I don't know, everyone hates his wife.

[Byron]

People that are oblivious to a lot of the reason why. It's people. People aren't big fans of him.

[John]

Oh, everyone Hates him. No one likes him. No one in the city gets excited when he walks again. It's the same thing. Like if you and Brett and I were in a restaurant and then. And Toledo was dating some horrible woman, and it was just supposed to be the four of us, and Toledo walks in with the horrible woman, we would all go, oh, mother. Broader. That's how everybody feels when Michael Bidwell walks in.

[Byron]

He's the Yoko.

[John]

Oh, you're Yoko. You're Yoko without Lennon. Like, you didn't even have the beetle by your side. You're Yoko pre John. Everybody hated Yoko before. Yeah. And he walks in and, ugh, there he is. I've. Yeah, if there was a rap song, it would be called Ugh, there He Is. He's. And I. Is he oblivious to it? Wouldn't you want to change that? I do a lot for the community. I'm like, you have to. Like, you're an NFL owner. Tons of. I do a lot for the community. Do something for the football team. The community. It's. You know, you're one of the billionaires in town. I would hope that you do a lot for the community. That's nice. Good for you. Now do something for the football team. Everyone hates you. Don't you feel it at stake 44. When you walk by and everybody goes, yeesh, Matt Ishbia walks into the rah rah room down there at the Suns thing, and people are like, there's Matt Ishbia. There's Matt Ishbia. They whisper, Bidwell's wandering around. Oh, there's Bidwell. Somebody poisonous food. Like everybody. Nobody's taken. Yeah, nobody let him. You're gonna stand here. I know it's Michael. I don't care. I. He's his dad's chunk. I call him Bill because they're apple tree. He's still attached. He's still as bad. Somehow he got worse than his dad. I may be doing Bill Bidwell a disservice by saying Michael is the same as him. He walks in a room, everybody's like, ew. No. He's gotta feel that we need. You know what? We need to do it worse. I don't even like the Cardinals, but I need to be like, boo. If he walks by you, just boo him. He doesn't. Jerry Jones in Dallas, people out loud just scream, you need to die. They want him dead.

[Byron]

Boo.

[John]

Just boo him when he walks by. And still when Jerry Jones walks in a room, people are like, there's Jerry Jones. Holy cow. There's Jerry Jones. Like, they're still starstruck a little bit here. You feel. You feel, no matter what, you could be, you know, the dude who just gets the tires off the rack at Discount Tire, and you feel more important to this city than Bill Bidwell. When you walk into a restaurant, you can go to Qdoba and if he's in there, like, move, Bidwell, I'm next. And I love the queso here because it can't be beat. Qdoba queso is great. Anyway. Move. Everybody needs to say that. If he's at Starbucks and he's in there in his little suit, Michael Bidwell's got that dumb smile, all five foot, four of them. And he's standing there looking at the counter. And the Starbucks barista needs to go next, bitch, and just scoot him over and make sure everybody gets taken care of before him. And even if ever he goes, I'll buy for everybody. Everyone in there go, no thanks. Your money's poisoned. Make him feel it till he does something right. I'm not even a Cardinal fan, but I've got too many friends who are that. I see their faces when you just say the name of the team. They're like, yeah, but you're a Cardinal fan and just see him deflate. It's like saying your wife is ugly and by default. Don't you rose color this? Don't you rose color still go back and get well, you know, because there's the worst part. Now you're. Now you're playing on people's emotions. Now you're harming people's emotions and you're taking advantage of it. And, yeah, these people will. They'll march back into that fire thinking, maybe this is it. And then you gotta realize he's not done anything different. This isn't gonna change till he goes away. Until this city makes him feel like I should move. Yeah, he should feel like a minority in the 50s moving into paradise Valley. He should feel like an alien. No one should ever go, hey, it's great to see it. Waitresses should go. You got a lot of nerves, nerve. Well, four. I'm like, you got a lot of nerve. Like, I'm in control of your food and you're in public. Okay, what do you want? Because it is going to be covered in boogers, and that's for sure. How many boogers should he eat a day? 10? 12? Foreign boogers.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, at least.

[John]

Yeah. I'm not suggesting it. I'm demanding it. Now give me a cease and desist from a lawyer now. Stop saying People should put boogers in my food. No, I don't have to say it. Everyone should just do it. You should have boogers every day until this team does something where you're like, hey, he's figured it out. Boogers. Everybody should. You know what? It shouldn't even be on his food. It should just be on it. On your finger. Just slap it up against his lips. Yeah. When Kirby was playing the Harlem Globetrotters with that ball booger that she pulled out lo Those many years ago. When was that? Ten years ago?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Blinding, horrible memory from that moment. I have that photographic memory when something weird happens or terrible, and I'll remember details of that whole day. I remember the entire conversation with your sister driving back from Sedona thanks to Kirby's booger because it scarred me and opened my brain to go absorb the entire day. You've never seen anything like this crazy, but, yeah, feed him a booger today. Well, next time you see Michael Bidwell, go, hey. Walk up to him in a restaurant, go, hey, how you doing? He's like, hi, I'm Michael Bidwell, and I'll shake your hand. He'll think you're there as a fan, and she go, that's awesome. And then stick your finger in your nose and pull one out and start to reach for his face. What? What's going on? Like, I'm just going to feed you a booger. You need a booger. Stop it. Why does everyone try to feed me boogers? Because no one in this town likes you, and we need you to know that. I need you to show some humility and get behind a podium and go, I know you all hate me, and it's my job now to fix that. I know you all hate me because we need to. Brady's staring at me like, why the. Why the hate. Hate him because hate will force him to realize that his biggest weapon in his brain is that he's a big deal. And if you take that away from him. Him. He might try. He might change. It's the 98 KUPD. And, yes, they're on board. Feed Michael Bidwell your boogers program. We don't have a promotion staff anymore, and we don't pay for anything. I will fund this. This is a grassroots program. I mean, pulling money out of this company is. It's not happening.

[Brett Vesely]

Tripp's just sitting there going, oh, crap.

[John]

All right, well, cue the checks. I'll start. Right. Frighten them. Feed Michael Bidwell your boogers and say it. Do it. Hey, this is from Holmberg's morning sickness in 98. KUPD. It's the KUPD feed you boogers program. What's this? And then he'll find out about us and be like, what?

[Byron]

What if he likes it?

[John]

What? And I bet you he's like a little rat with him. What if it makes him stronger?

[Byron]

Then we got a winner.

[John]

The boogers of the youth. No, it makes him stronger at being himself. Somehow managed to get worse. Anyway, Cardinal fans, I'm sorry. After this glorious weekend of football, and I'm watching these games, and as a Steeler fan, my team was in the playoffs. I looked at these teams, and I'm like, my boys weren't even playing the same sport as the teams that are left here, save for the 49ers who just got trounced because it wasn't fair. They were. I mean, they literally are a mass unit. The Seattle Seahawks are playing a football game that I did not recognize because what I watched all year was subpar. The Bears were playing. The Rams are playing at a level. The Patriots that Bill's Broncos get. That's. Those were teams that I.

[Byron]

That.

[John]

That was just better than what I've seen. Cardinal fans, how do you. What are you even watching? It's like.

[Byron]

It's.

[John]

You might as well watch Pop Warner or soccer. Feed that man your boogers. For the girl I saw on the freeway yesterday who had her. Never seen it. Had her thumb in her nostril. She was thumb picking nostril. Like, I can do it, but, I mean, come on, I can park a Hyundai in this thing. But she had pulled it forward, too. Her nose was stretching out like Cyrano. And I'm next to her in a. And I'm looking like Jesus, no pride.

[Byron]

She look at you?

[John]

No, she was deep. She was. I think she thought, like, she was like the lost Dutchman windfall Willie from the lottery. She was picking and digging. Get her over there to pull one.

[Byron]

Pulled out a five or six, you.

[John]

Know, Wade, you know, feed that to Michael Bigwell. Save those thumbnails, picker. I've never seen a thumbnails picked by a woman before. Dudes will do the sideways thing. We just clear the. Clear the. You know, the cave's entrance. Yeah, but I've never seen anybody go thumb in first like, she was deep. Feed those to Michael Bidwell. Every Cardinal fan should be on board with my program. Not just my program. Hubbard Broadcasting's feed Michael Bidwell, boogers brought to you by. Brought to you by ownership of Hubbard Broadcast. I'll just say that all of us. All of us are on board. How could they be against me? They can't. Probably have to do a disclaimer later. But right now, we're all on the same page. I think we're all on the same page. And I love that Toledo hasn't run in and go. The views and opinions of Joan Oberger. No, shut up. The views and opinions of John Obergar, everybody. Find me anyone in this city that goes, I love him. One person. He's been great. Like, Jerry Jones will at least say, yeah, the old man's lost it, but we still get a lot from him. Find me one person in the city that says, oh, man, that Michael Bidwell. Where would we be without him? It. Feed that man your boogers. Baristas. Wiping on that white cup top. Just gross. The house I have over here, The. The rental house, the dude that lived in it before when I bought it, was a renter. His mom died, and he was a. He was what? What do they call those? A stay at home son, I guess. He was. He was. He wasn't doing much of much.

[Brett Vesely]

I call him scumbag.

[John]

So he thought he had inherited the home. And then it's like, no. And so my buddy Sam. Make a wish. Sam bought it. And then he's like, I'm not gonna have time to flip this. So I bought it off of Sam, and Sam was letting the guy live there and rent back for dirt. And he thought that was gonna be the same deal with me. But I'm like, no, you gotta go. What do you mean? I got my mom's house. I'm like, no, you. A, you can't. You're done. And B, like, Sam was making your rent. I don't want you to rent. I'm gonna Reno it. So he wrote his name in the last two weeks. He was there on the front wall in boogers and blood.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, class act.

[John]

Yeah. And we didn't know what it was, but he had written words on the wall in boogers. That's what he did with his time.

[Brett Vesely]

His last two weeks.

[John]

Yeah. And you're like, what in the. And you recognize boogers and blood on a wall. Like, immediately, it's like, this is disgusting. And then I'm like, I gotta give it to him, though, because he didn't take any of this time being industrious and trying to find a job. This took a lot of. I mean, we're talking foot and a half long letters.

[Byron]

He had time.

[John]

He. Well, he didn't. He did have time.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like Van Gogh of South Scottsdale there, man.

[John]

It wasn't pretty. Yeah, it was. It was booger art and I hated him. But right now, boy, could I use him to follow Michael Bidwell around and hand over some of those boogers. The big, you know, fu. That was written right as you walk in the door. And it wasn't like I cut my thumb and wrote in blood like, you know, Manson's. They didn't say like pigs and stuff like that. It said his name and fu and it was slimy dry.

[Byron]

You could rent it back, man.

[John]

Yeah, that was, you know what I say. And he. What did he think? That he's like, the new guy's gonna now he'll see. And then I should have called him gone. Boy, I didn't realize how mad you were until I saw those boogers. You want the house back like you thought that would win me over.

[Brett Vesely]

Mad respect, bro.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. No, I really. I didn't realize you were gonna get me like that. I'm spinning. I gotta respect you.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

You're a good dad probably. I respect you, bro, but I wrote my name in boogers on the wall. Brett got me there.

[Byron]

God bless.

[John]

God bless. I respect you. It says maybe Bidwell is the joker and just loves to live off people's hate. Probably goes home and burns cash and piles too. That could be. He would. You know what, though, in this day and age, if he was.

[Byron]

That he'd.

[John]

He'd send pictures of it. Him burning his money. Anyway, I want to keep doing a. Like an all day you to Bill Bidwell, but I think this booger picking campaign and just rub one on him and it doesn't have to be in his mouth or just his suit, you know? And again, it's assault to touch someone, so make it like, hey, so farmer.

[Brett Vesely]

Blow while you're walking by him or something.

[John]

No, no, no. That's on the sale. That's. He just got in the way. You didn't see him because he's short.

[Byron]

There you go.

[John]

Oops. I'm sorry. I didn't see the Cardinals owner there. We were talking. I know. I'm sorry. I can't see you. John Cena can't see you. Yeah, fake sneeze on him.

[Byron]

Do like.

[John]

Do like from Chasing Amy and give him a stink palm. Reach down into the crack of your ass and shake his hand. That kind of stuff. I'm highly encouraging it. And there's probably some legality to this, but I don't care. It's time someone did something. Something oh, geez. That's it. Yeah. Every time he walks by. Go to hell. Hi. A table for four. Go to hell. That door swings open. I want to hear the whole crowd. Jesus Christ. The second you recognize him, don't say, is that Michael Bidwell? Just go to hell. Even if you think it's him. And to people who look a little bit like him, when you get used to this. Not him. Not if it's close. I understand what you're doing, though. I get it all the time. I feel sorry for dudes who look like him. That's gotta be rough. And he's gotta walk in. I'd move. I'd move away. If I look like Michael Bidwell, I'd move away like, I can't live here. Everybody hates me.

[Byron]

They always confuse me.

[John]

My name's Todd Staley.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not.

[John]

I'm sorry. I'm not. I don't believe you. Go to hell. Yeah, it's terrible. It's terrible. Brady's. Probably not for my booger picking idea, but give me a thumbs up on it. Stand behind it. Come on. Get behind my Brady. Hate Brett. You with me?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Brett's here.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. And I don't even care about the Cardinals.

[John]

I don't either. I hate them.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

You with me? He's on board. Two thumbs up. Brady, you're the last. Your last one standing. And make it a unanimous vote to put boogers on Bill Bid or Michael Bidwell. Come on, man. It's okay. It's okay. Everyone hates him, Brady. Oh, even God chimes in.

[Byron]

I'm more like Jay Cutler in this deal.

[John]

Oh, boo. Boo to you. That's emotionless. That's dead inside.

[Byron]

You're right. There's a part that something needs to be done.

[John]

Be dead inside. Come on, man. People are sending me this guy says the girl that had her thumb in the nose. Are you sure it wasn't a Seinfeld episode where she was just scratching, not picking? Did she. She was not scratching. Her nose was moving.

[Byron]

She's scratching the inside.

[John]

Yeah, like in Seinfeld. He's talking about the episode where Jerry does a. It was just a probing. He didn't pick. It's not a pig. Not a pig. No pig. And he lost the model. This girl's nose was forward, and the only thing in there was the thumb. And it was. She had something big in there.

[Byron]

Probably a nice long nail, too, to scrape.

[John]

I don't know. She looked like one of those. Gotta play with herself a lot. Probably doesn't do A lot of Never trust a girl with short nails. Yeah, she keeps them trim. Girl with too short of nails, nobody wants to touch it. You gotta do it herself. She's DIY downstairs. Anyway, I digress. Cardinal fans, I'm here for you. I might be the only one not getting this over to Arizona Sports, that's for sure. Bickley would be for it. I know he would. I could text him right now, Bickley, let's join forces. I had dinner with Bickley's boss the other day, Scott Sutherland. I think if I told him, I'm like, look, Sutherland's on. He wants you to do this campaign with us. We're gonna team up Bonneville and Hubbard to rub boogers on the Michael Bidwell. I think that's a huge. Get enough media outlets behind this, maybe he'll start to change.

[Byron]

Change suits.

[John]

But in the meantime, stuff that can.

[Byron]

Wash the this stuff off.

[John]

Enjoy. What I predict is the next announcement coming out of Cardinals camp. Cardinals are introducing their new head coach, Matt Nagy. Have fun with that. Yeah, have fun with it.

[Brett Vesely]

Lived it. Yep, I know all about it.

[John]

Or Eber flu, something terrible head.

[Brett Vesely]

DZ needs to go over there.

[John]

Derek Zellner's got some health issues. He had to step down in a high school football. But he's still even DZ in hospice if he goes that far. And I hope that's not true. Would be a better coach because he's got at least a brain cell. I hope he's well though. DCs. Yeah, he'll cure whatever it is DZ's got. Will get cured by DZ's body.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah.

[John]

DZ is the man. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one to start off this Tuesday, this glorious three day weekend that went by. It was an awesome one. We need more three day weekends. Let's scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green Day. There we go. Here we go. It is Tuesday. It's Soylent Green Day. You know, off and running. Another perfect man. Thank you to global warming and all this. It's just fantastic. What's going on with the litter shoot? Aerosol on this guy. If this is what our winters are like, I'm thrilled with it. So What? It's a 120 every day in the summer. We've Dealt with that. That's fine. I'll take, I'll take the trade off of 75 every day in January for 120. And the whole point of having air conditioner, we're good, but the planet. We'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Greta, you got this. Greta Turnberg's up there in Greenland trying to save that now. That's a fun battle. You know, I'm not, I'm not sure what Trump is up to. You know what's crazy? Golf with my friend Jordan on Sunday. And we got paired up with really nice people. The son's name was Sean and the dad's name, I forgot. But the son's 17. Super nice people from Colorado. Excellent. And if you're listening, thanks. That was a great Sunday. We had a nice time with them, but it's so quick. Like we didn't know each other at all. And again, I always go back to this. There's no commonalities in humans anymore. Like when you first meet someone and he. It was just one of the first things he said to his kid when he hit a ball. He goes, nice shot. And his ball went a little left. He goes, we'll fix that. We'll make you a Republican in no time. And he was like, that was like it was on. He just wanted to talk about politics. And he wasn't crazy either way. But it was like, man, we have got to stop this. 25 years ago, that would have been like, oh, and it still is if you run into the wrong people. He didn't know Jordan and I. He just looked at a couple of, well, well, you know, I look like a neo Nazi and Jordan looks like my neo Nazi friend. So his Pete's probably like, I'm pretty safe to think these guys are not libs at the very least. And he liked and he was funny. So it was fine. We, you know, everything for the jokes. But yeah, it was great. But it was so quick to go directly to let's test to see how these guys. He didn't know if we're like protesters and stuff. And speaking of, I have a solution and I think you're gonna like it. No, I saw this weekend or at least yesterday that an in. In India an elephant had had it. Did you see that? And, and he stampeded like 20 people. Yeah, my built in Johnny mechanism is elephant close. Johnny's hiding. Right. I don't stand there and see an elephant within a few yards of me and think we're good. I don't like it even if all the natives are like, he's friendly. I never understood that people like I watched a. You know, like even Siegfried and Roy a little too friendly with those lines. And I saw the video that one time and we all knew that they showed Siegfried and Roy and their joint compound there in Vegas, which was kind of neat. They built two houses on the same property to try to convince us they weren't homosexual. See, we each have our own homes.

[Byron]

That's right.

[John]

Secret has his home and I have mine. But we share a pool with Montecor and the other tigers. And they get in the pool and the damn tigers got in with them. And I'm like, this is definitely going to end poorly. I wouldn't want to be in the pool with a friend's dog whose nails are too long. Just in case. You ever see a dog try to climb it, it hurts so bad. Imagine the tiger like accidentally it slice you open. Just gotcha.

[Byron]

Well, I. I compare it to like a. Even a house cat. When you're playing with your cat.

[John]

Oh, it's funny.

[Byron]

There's a couple of, you know. And that can scratch you. Now magnify that times fifty or a hundred. That one time you're playing.

[John]

Yeah. Cats are like wrestling women because they're fun at first. But then when they get pissed it gets like the nails go in and they start screaming like whoa, whoa. We were playing a second ago. Tigers are that. So we all knew that was coming. So inside me, I have a built in siren. That base Brady doesn't have it. Grizzlies. Neat. Standstill. Nope. Run. I have it with bees. For God's sakes. Every person that's ever told me snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them have not been in my mind. Bull. There's no way that snakes more afraid of me. I can't do anything to him. What can I stomp him with? My Jordans? It's not happening. He is much more potent than I am. I am a lot more afraid than he is. Brady picks stuff up off the ground. This is a Gilla manster. Like oh God. Put it down. These are poisonous. Right? That's. Put it down. He's more afraid of us than we are. No, he's not.

[Byron]

Docile. Be docile.

[John]

I'm more afraid of almost everything than it is of me. That's for sure. I fear ants en masse. If you see me around an ant pile, I don't get close. Oh yeah, it's the first I make that noise. So an elephant standing at the End of the road. I'm going inside. Now, in India, I know that means I'm going into a tent. That's a bad idea because I don't have insects.

[Byron]

Not a sturdy structure. Yeah.

[John]

I'm not going in. It's a lean to or I'm doing operation get behind Jahid and I'm going to grab one of them and throw him towards the elephant as I jump away. But the elephant got crazy and just stampeded. I can solve all the protests in Minnesota. Whichever side you're on, put one of them mean elephants out there and whoever is the last man standing. It's kind of when the Mexicans do those bull poker games, those.

[Byron]

Oh, man, they're stew with an elephant all the time.

[John]

And then nobody wins because I don't think anybody's gonna. I think it's just bad for everything. We put an elephant down there in Minnesota, it's not gonna be happy because it' freezing. It starts running around crazy. Not allowed to shoot it. Ice, we're looking at you and the protesters. I know they'll run for their lives. And then the protest is over. Everything's over. Put elephants on the streets, we don't have anything we fear on the roads anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't you think there's already enough of them? At 2am at the bar in Minnesota.

[John]

It is a matter of those big broads. Yeah. Minnesotan ladies.

[Byron]

Not gonna get them out.

[John]

And again, that thing gets up and starts walking around the bar. I'm like, yeah, exactly. Get behind a brick wall or something.

[Brett Vesely]

Use your buddy as a shield.

[John]

Yeah. All I saw was a bunch of, you know, Indians at a bazaar hanging around, and I'm like, do they see it? They don't see it. Like, it's a friendly elephant. No such thing, brother. That is a wild rogue elephant. Has it got chains on its feet? No, it does not. It is a wild one. Did you hear yourself? Worldwide got involved. I'm gonna stand behind whatever this is. This is my vehicle. It's a. A like a sidecar with three wheels on. I don't know how I even built this. It's got a Briggs and Stratton engine on it. Why does it smell like. Because that's what everything here smells like. I think if I was in India at any time, judging from all the videos I've seen of it, I might stand in front of an elephant that just. Too crowded, Too crowded. I don't like going to, like, restaurants that have a weight. I can't imagine what it's like to walk the Streets of India. They're gonna go to get the coffee. Yeah, like a chai tea. It's going to be 86 minutes. We have to serve all of the rest of India first. Oh, God. Bring on the elephant. But I started thinking last night would be pretty neat if we just released an elephant. And on one side of the elephant it said go ice, and on the other side it says down with ice. And it just, it determines who wins the protest. Because I see a stalemate here. And I seen, I've seen these protests enough in the last few years to know then in a few weeks it goes away and absolutely nothing's different. Absolutely nothing changes. So the elephant will at least add a little excitement and send these people home. And I still don't believe that any of these protests are real. Because it was nine below zero. Nobody's marching in that. No decent person. Nobody's ICE isn't even. Mexicans aren't walking around in that. They're raiding them in their homes. Like, the ice guys aren't going outside in this either. This is Jussie Smollett talking and he got mugged at 23 below zero. And people right now, it's not happening. See, if anything, it should be here where the weather's amazing. You would think, yeah, we need elephants in the streets. We need people to kind of get back to that primal feeling of like danger lurking that isn't human controlled. Like there isn't anything you can, you can't sue it later. You can't, can't get mad at just it does its damage. And then we're like, we should probably watch out for those elephants and it might unite us a little bit. We don't have any threats that aren't each other.

[Byron]

You mean the hundred car pile up wouldn't.

[John]

Yeah, but that's human related. You know, it would unite us if like we got an elephant problem and they keep stomping us out and they don't care if we're Republican, Democrat or in between. They just stomp out whatever's in their way. Like, yeah, we should probably think about getting rid of these elephants and not kill them, but figure it out. Just release a bunch of elephants on cities that are problem problematic. I think it's a good idea because what I watched in India was a united front. Not one of them's like, push the. They did not have political anything when that thing was started to go, you know what? I'm an elephant. I'm gonna be an elephant for a minute. And it just took off and they're like, wow. It's just stomping out Indians. None of them were arguing about politics at all for a couple of days. The whole thing was like, I'm on your team, brother. You're not pushing. They don't have MAGA hats over there. Guys push them in front of the elephant. All of that would happen here.

[Brett Vesely]

Being chased by Oros elephants or jump in one of those poo rivers.

[John]

The whole thing in India is like. But again, Brett, if there's an elephant or parking lot, and you're like, well, I'm gonna take off. See you later, guys. Like, brett, wait for the elephant to leave. No, I'm fine. He's friendly. No. What if he's not? Today. Elephant on a bad day. You've seen it at 2am in the bar. Oh, yeah. They're mean. Run.

[Byron]

Better have some peanuts.

[John]

No, Brady, we don't feed them. God damn it. He missed the point all the way around. Starts chucking food at it. Nope.

[Byron]

You throw it the other way.

[John]

Throw your wallet and run. You're too comfortable. You're proving my point. We need some rogue animals to wander our streets like they have in India. Remember? They say that stuff sometimes. They say there's a Bengal tiger on the loose in the city in India. And everybody's like, yeah, that'll happen. We don't have any of that.

[Byron]

Don't touch it. It's. It's special animal. It's sacred.

[John]

Okay?

[Byron]

Yeah. You see, when they. Same thing. Those cows go rogue.

[John]

Cows? Yeah. No, we can't start with cows. You can. I again, I had that when I was a little kid. My grandpa had cows. And there was a bull out in the field once, and I was 6, and I'm walking through the field and I looked over, and this thing's got its eyes. And you know when it's mad at you, like, from a long way off, I'm like, oh, my cousin Sean was with me, and she's like, john, get behind me. I'm like, why? She goes, just. And she saw it too. And the thing just goes. That was all it took for us to go run, get a good head start, get behind something fast. He's mad. And the bull starts doing that little weird bull jogging. And he's right. Like, I don't know what we did, but get on his turf. And it was a bad day because I've pet that thing before. He was my buddy. We called him Bully. Bully was adorable. I named one of my stuffed animals after him one day. Bully didn't like John anymore. And he made it clear with his eyes. And I learned that day. Oh, not to be trusted giant animals. But I think we can use. Because I'm sick of looking at the news and watching one side say our side's winning and nobody's winning anything. I mean, look at it realistically. No one's winning anything. The crazy lesbians screaming at ice. The crazy ice guys screaming at lesbians. Nobody's winning this. The winner should be elephants that break it up. That way we can't blame people. Like, no side did it. Just an elephant showed up and broke up the protest. And it wouldn't be some dude accidentally rogue shooting. Shooting a lesbian in the head with a pepper ball. Like he goes to jail for. The elephant just showed up. We need elephants now, immediately. Because if you watch that thing in India, they get the job done. And then everybody's like, sorry about that, ice. Yeah, me too. Lesbians. That elephant sure was scary. And then we could all unite over the fact we haven't had a common enemy since I was a little kid. Did. We've tried, but we haven't drummed one up. When we had Russia go Back to the 1980 elections, 49 states voted for one guy.

[Byron]

Tried a couple times with the Middle East.

[John]

Yeah, we tried to drum up a fake one. James Bond helped a lot because he made the evil communists and Russians. But that was why Top Gun. We all could have got Top Gun. Maverick had a chance if they'd have just picked an enemy. They didn't.

[Brett Vesely]

It was just.

[John]

They made a brand.

[Brett Vesely]

Some other.

[John]

Yeah, they. The enemy. They called him the enemy.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

They didn't even say the name of it. It's like, oh, random Middle Eastern place. We're not familiar. We know Russia. That's why Russia has to be bad again. But they're not. We're not really threatened by it. Common enemy makes us happy. Remember 911 for like 4 days. I've never been more united with everybody on this. On the surface of North America. Like we were that. That four day stretch. And then we picked like the wrong fight.

[Byron]

Picked someone that didn't do it.

[John]

And that wasn't. That's exactly right. Who are we mad at? I think we get mad at somebody now and everybody's gonna be all right with it. I hate that Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with this, sir. You know what, though? Everybody likes me right now. I'm gonna kick the crap out of something. And then he went rogue elephant. Stomped on the wrong people. But had he been more liberal with stomping on a bunch of of them. We're like, well, he went nuts. Elephants. That's the future. Speaking of cows, did you see the. This is Darwinism at work. There's a couple cows that have decided. I didn't even know cows were itchy. Picked up brooms and started scratching themselves with them. Cows. They picked up brooms with their mouths. I've never. Have you ever seen a cow scratched another cat? Scratched each other, Scratched itself. It was solving the itch.

[Byron]

Because the tail doesn't cover it all. Figure that out?

[John]

Got no idea. But he picked up a broom and he started to scrub his back, like, that's nice. And then the other cow saw it and went, what are you doing? Because my back's been itching for years. Can't reach it. Scratched him with the broom, throws in the back and like, it's the first use ever of bovine tools. That's how it starts.

[Brett Vesely]

Here we go.

[John]

So if the cows start picking up stuff and using them, and we got a few years to wait, but, I mean, that's pretty impressive. Like, right off the. They weren't like rubbing on a fence.

[Byron]

Yeah, they'll find. They'll find a tree or a fence.

[John]

But I've never seen a cow scratch. Been around a lot of cows. Never once have I seen a cow. Like, can you get that? They don't like to be scratched. Like, you can touch them. They're covered in flies. If anything. They don't have hooves for scratching. They can't sit like a dog and reach up, up. I didn't even know they had itches. But, yeah, this. She picked up the broom, like, figured it out and then realized, oh, I can reach my back with this. And she picks it up and scratches her back and puts it back.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like, oh, they're taking over.

[John]

So I'm not saying that I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go that far and say we have to worry that the cows have gotten too smart. But look, I've met a lot of dumb people recently that I think maybe I'd rather be friends with a cow. This one says, people tend to think that anything an animal does with an object is tool use. And sometimes you get videos of animals interacting with object. But this one's different because it showed the behavior that you'd expect from stricter definitions of tool use. And especially when she put it back to use it later and she knows what it's for. She's made it functional. I don't know how they're not itching, cows are. It's pretty ridiculous, so be careful of that. Elephants and cows, we need to release them against the people. Speaking of releasing, what's it called? The coronal mass explosion or this. That dirty thing that evidently is happening in the sky right now. Oh, is it Coronal mass explosion? I think is what it is. Where?

[Byron]

The cornea?

[John]

No, no, Cornell coronal. The sun is doing huge dances right now, and it's causing the aurora borealis to slip way south. We might see it, which is crazy. And then when they said the name of it, everybody giggled because it was the. The coronal mass explosion. Like that. We watched too much porn to not have those words make us giggle the entire time. But so maybe. And then the news was like. And this is how science sometimes loses Ejection. There it is. That's better. It's the coronal mass eject. Sounds like a pornhub. It's a pornom. Don't search it because you're gonna see Johnny Sins doing some work. Coronal mass. What is it?

[Byron]

Ejection.

[John]

Ejection. They know what they're doing over there. The Neil degrasse Tysons of the world. But yeah, that's happening. And then there was one guy that said you could see it as either all the way down to Ohio. I'm like, well, that's not it. Or Texas. I'm like, well, that's a pretty big. You better narrow that down. So maybe tonight, if it's a big one.

[Byron]

Is it big enough? They said, to trigger a severe geomagnetic storm causing widespread disruptions and stuff.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Yep. Satellites, gps.

[John]

It's called an X flare. They name stuff really cool over there. But the coronal mass ejection sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible. Radiate UPD Holmberg's morning sickness. It's massive solar flares. And I don't know, does that mean the sun's upset or is this normal? Because I never heard of this before. I would remember that.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like Bully the bull, you know?

[John]

Yeah. Someday he's just like, oh, Bully's having a moment. Everyone hide. And there's another thing that could unite us all. If the sun got mad, do you think that would finally be the thing that makes humanity go, enough arguing. There's a 1 in 400 trillion chance you were born in the first place. What are we wasting our time here fighting constantly? Everything you do is an accident. The whole thing is just this weird, random.

[Byron]

Which is weird that these the flare could do this to us. But then the stat you threw out the other day is 18ft closer.

[John]

Well, 18ft if it was on its axis further away. It wasn't yet. It's just basically what the point of that was. In its orbit. It's a perfectly spaced spot to have life and. Yeah. And had it been, you know, just a whole orbit moved in and stayed on it, it would change the. The whole makeup of the planet. So it's an amazing thing. The flares are different because they come. That'll happen. But this one's big enough that we can, like. We'll start seeing differences because it's going to screw up the sky. That's neat. But they do think that the power grids might have a problem. Is that what would make it. Because I'm. I'm sick of everybody hating each other. Each other, you know, over dumb stuff. Hate each other for real things like the booger thing in Bedwell. Hate each other for stuff that actually affects you emotionally.

[Brett Vesely]

Or like the ravens for you.

[John]

Yeah. And you gotta have hate. But like, we hate each other over stupid, uncontrollable things and we're yelling about politics and screaming about this and that. And I know you have your feelings.

[Byron]

But could we unite for one week of no social Man.

[John]

No. Imagine that if the sun got mad at. At us and turned off our phone.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

What would we do? I. Prediction. I like yours, but it's not real. Again, we're going back to your. You're too happy. Or too. It would be mass chaos. They would. People would worry about stock market stuff. You couldn't check your phone. You couldn't get in contact. I think we would lose our minds if there was. And bad guys would probably try to take advantage of. You'd feel like you're getting handled by people who are taking advantage of the fact that we're blind for a week.

[Byron]

What's going on with my money?

[John]

Yeah, but that's the main thing. But the sun flare. It would be nice, though, to turn it all off and see what we did. Everything gets turned off. Let's see how we act. I think Covid taught us, hey, shut it all down and see if these people unite or if they. And what did we end up doing? We made that a problem. And God forbid any government official comes on and says, hey, we got to turn your phones off for a week because the solar flares are going to wreck it. Oh, it's a bit. Now it's a big controversy. It's conspiracy. They're after us. They're trying to. They're doing something. And you'd be right to feel that way. We can't ever. We'll never be normal again. But again, I don't know that we've ever been united. I don't know why we think that that's a possibility. But it does seem like we fight over dumber stuff than ever. I like fighting over real stuff. Like is Lamar Jackson really the ugliest man in the world? And if anybody argues the fight I'll be there all day. Is the wnba. Valu Dukes are up. Let's go. Pure joy. That's what I like when mostly at casinos. That's where I find it. Like I found it on Sunday. It was awesome. We had a great night. Jordan and I were high five. It was pretty awesome. It was pretty awesome. They just drive away smiling. Can't stop smiling. Have a great weekend. Anyway, so that's my plan for the future. Elephants, Solar flares. That shut us down.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

I guarantee you we'd. There'd be murders first. First thing would happen is like fistfights and murders. If we had our. If this thing shuts us down. No Netflix for a week. What are we gonna do? And then. Yeah, Brady, your idea would be nice. No messages. Couldn't get anybody to tell us to calm down. The what's going on factor would be massive.

[Byron]

Imagine if. Yeah, just the whole no news.

[John]

You know, it would still work. Radio. We need this, boys. This. This industry that's in a massive death spiral. Sure could use those solar flares to shut down all that computer crap. We'd show up every morning. Yeah, we're better back. We're doing fine. This industry is doomed. It's the Bob's fault. Trying to get all sorts of. You know, I don't know what they're doing, but let's just make it 15 different things they can. Yeah, right. Instead of just one focus. Boy, if they shut it, that would be pretty good. Yeah. Radio is the one thing that works. It's. It's hanging its hat on that too. And they even say that we've. I've had a Bob actually say that to me. You know, if we had some sort of a nuclear meltdown, the only thing that would work was airwave radio. Like, well, that's something. There you go. Good for you, Bob. That's a good one. Let's cross your fingers, buddy. Yeah. They might need us. They're never going to need Chachi pt. Or is he? But I'm just saying. Voices. You're not going to need to go.

[Byron]

What was your kids worth?

[John]

Nuclear day. Like you're not going to have call us with your worst nuclear stories. You'd never have any of that. We'd be out there telling you to scramble, run.

[Byron]

Where are your tumors?

[John]

Yeah, sunny tumor stories down the tens. Like, they'd have that terrible radio. That would still be a thing. But voices of reason would be like, oh, we gotta listen to those guys. Next thing you know, Joe Rogan's calling us. Hey, can I borrow your station? Maybe for a fee you shut it down. But yeah, maybe the solar flares. I don't know. Radio's in such a bad spot. I don't even think solar flares can save it. Hey, listen to the mountain. Oh, no. I wish that flare would have done these guys in too. In the air tonight again hey, my skin's sloughing off from the nuclear waste. In the air. I just thought you just put pictures up, but you can't see them on our Internet because we don't know what else to do. They got Polaroids hanging on the outside of the building. Hey, free water. That doesn't seem contaminated. Out at the van this morning. We sent Brett out. Yeah, we got filtered water. We're giving it out here to all this. Don't touch me. And we would hang our hats on it. The Bobs would be excited. Bob's the radio. Bob's would be thrilled if there was a nuclear accident. Whatever market it's in. Ah, it's our time to shine. Hey, we're glowing. That's the radiation. So Floroax and Jim Bob did a thing. We thought it was real clever and we went on other markets to do it in case of nuclear meltdown for them. They were up there giving away Twinkies. We thought it was just. The Twinkies are like the roaches. Nothing happens to them, so they're feeding the zombies and the undead. All sorts of Twinkies. Katie, Kibby would be excited. Twinks. All right, we're giving them away. You know, Homer came up with a good idea. Instead of band aids, use bumper stickers for your sloughed off skin. Got people running around coated in cupd stuff.

[Byron]

You going with the. To the running of the elephants protest over?

[John]

Yeah, it's. It's hilarious. Yeah. The only people excited about, like, a solar flare knocking down the grid are in suits and radio. Hey, did you hear? The world's in turmoil. They need us. They're hanging their hats on that. That's their future. Maybe the sun will get mad. That's part of their business plan, by the way. Most reasonable part of their business plan. Right back to the day. We need to get people to listen to radio in their house again. What do you think we should do? Buy them radios. What do you mean? Like you've been telling them we used a computer the whole time, you moron. They got rid of him, huh? Oh, God. He's a people listen to radio. Like a real radio? Like give away radios. Well, that's silly. We're not gonna pay for it. Well, then you're not gonna. It's not gonna happen. Then trying to rob people's brains, it's not gonna work.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll make sure to tap that app.

[John]

Yeah, tap the app and then go to our podcast. Like you're telling them to not do it. You're telling to not listen to the thing that you want to. I don't get it. We need solar. I bet you they wake up every morning, go, oh, Earth's still okay. Like they're upset that the Earth is thriving. You could use a big fat solar flare. Well, you got one. And it's got the coolest name I've ever heard. Coronal mass ejection. Even scientists can't say that, not giggle. We're looking tonight at coronal mass ejection in my wife's mouth. Okay, I had to say it. I'm sorry. Come on, we're all thinking it anyway. They say they had one back in 1859. Might have done the grid in, but they didn't have a grid. Wow, they know about that. I think the Bobs are in charge of science sometimes. This is like the great flare of 59. What? Yeah, all the water wheels stopped, like, oh, God.

[Byron]

Over 2,000 lamps.

[John]

The 2,000 lamps on the planet went. And then three Jebedias lost their house. Then the telegraph went down. Aye, aye. Geez, Bobs. What do you suppose gonna happen if it does it now? We'll be back. Radio Bob's the only ones that would read a headline in a newspaper because that's the only way to get our news. It says, millions dead. Solar flare cuts down society. And he'd be like, yes, sweet. And he'd step over all the dead bodies. Sweet. And then they'd take credit for it a few years later. You know, I was the vice president of programming there during the flares. You didn't do anything. I know.

[Byron]

Came up with the idea.

[John]

Don't you hate when you're. When your dog starts crapping plutonium, call us with your Stories. Oh, no, they're doing bits. Blow my mind. Blow my mind. Glorious morning, Izzy. This is probably the end of it, but I really want. I got. I got your bumper stickers on this morning. I wanted to blow your mind. Fine, hit me. What you got. Well, sorry, no, that was a long. Izzy had a fun call this morning when a guy died. Really blew her mind.

[Byron]

Call me with your last breath.

[John]

At kdkb. We want to hear your death girdle.

[Byron]

11 seconds. You want a thousand dollars?

[John]

All right, everybody, the number is 11. Can you death gurgle longer than that? Nine five. Oh, that's runner up. Nice try. What's the station that pays? Kdkb.

[Byron]

He didn't win because he didn't say it. Didn't say the phrase it pays.

[John]

You gotta give the phrase it pays. I'm dying. I'm dying. Okay, P.D. that's it. I'm dying on KDKB.

[Byron]

You win.

[John]

The Bobs, they're sitting there with their fingers crossed in a meeting today. How are the numbers looking in Cincinnati? Not good, Bob. Not good at all. We really need a massive death from the sun to help this program. You mean Ching Chang and the broomstick aren't doing well over there? No. Nobody caught on with Ching Ching. They say he's racist and we can't figure out why. It's 7:21. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one? Sure, Bert, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, tons of stuff up here. We'll start off with Biz Marquis picking boogers for your story earlier.

[John]

That's a song? Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's terrible.

[Byron]

What?

[John]

Making boogers is a song? It is by Bismarck.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Here, I'll pull. Hang on a second. I'll pull it up.

[John]

You say he just Picking Boogers is a song?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John]

What, you never heard it? It's terrible. Not evidently. I was an adult even when I was a child. I would have just turned it off. Off I. There I was telling me I'm too highbrow for this. Come on. It was my idea to put boogers on a guy. Me and Bismarck here in the same. I'm going to probably like. This. Light is very gross, but it's short. I have it tripping. See?

[Byron]

Yo, listen close.

[John]

It's not right at the sun or.

[Byron]

Sweet like sugar, but it's rather on the bug tip and it's called pig and burger.

[John]

You. But it's still something we all have.

[Byron]

To do to go up your nose with a finger or two and pull out one all crusty cruise.

[John]

Don't try to punt like it's so gloomy and gray cuz we all pick out boogers sometime every day.

[Byron]

What about in the open on the.

[John]

Sneak tip for the finger tissue or even a cutic tip. You know what my favorite thing is? That's on his best of album. Oh yeah, yeah. Picking boogers.

[Brett Vesely]

That and just a friend.

[John]

I mean, that's the only ones. I don't know. I knew one of those.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, Megan, that's go to hell for Bidwell. Ghost Slipknot, Stone sour Brad Perry. Breakfast with Prince.

[John]

Somebody literally asked for that.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not making this up. Linkin Park. I don't care. Static X somewhat stupid for Bo Nicks. Judas Priest Turbo because Ian Hill turned 74. Primus My name is mud for Bidwell. And Sanjay wants his band played.

[John]

Reckless reckless Eden. Well, he did bring his breakfast on.

[Brett Vesely]

They did. He did did.

[John]

All right, we'll do a little. Yeah, it's a good one. We'll go with Sanjay. Just because I don't want to hear picking boogers.

[Byron]

We got.

[John]

The Brad Perry thing is strong too. If you haven't former weatherman. And we could do a double shot. Host of Double shot Morning mix. Double shot. No.

[Byron]

Double flare.

[John]

Some people won't be movie star. Fancy cows. He can't say cars. It sounds like he says drive their fancy cows because he can't even say breakfast. No. Breakfast with Prince. P R I N T S. Breakfast with Prince. Like why is the weatherman doing this? And he means it. I God. He was trying to be a musician. Worst thing ever happened is I found it. Host of AC Daily Mix on channel 400. Listen to it. He turns into like. Some people will be singing for movies stars. Some people big houses and fast calls. Fast house. Some people be CEOs. CEOs. What I really, really want to do is have breakfast with. With Prince. Oh, God. Breakfast with Prince. Not Tom William, but Harry. Old John. His name is M. Oh, so much. Even was a love symbol at once. All right, I'm done. Stop it. Have breakfast with Prince. I don't know what happened to his voice. You got Louis Armstrong in the middle of that thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Can you do that at the next show?

[John]

Yeah, we'll do breakfast with Prince.

[Byron]

Cool.

[John]

Some people will beat movies styles.

[Byron]

The French.

[John]

Big houses drive fast cows.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man. I pull. That's the YouTube video ago.

[John]

The one that we did the. I mean, two years ago. Someone I know did the lyrics.

[Brett Vesely]

Damn you, Holmberg. Holmberg is the reason for a hundred of these views.

[John]

Oh, sent me here. No. Damn you, Holmberg. That's all you. Yeah, I know.

[Brett Vesely]

Damn it, Stephen Holmberg. Thanks for the brain.

[John]

Oh, yeah, I forgot. People thought I was Stephen Holmberg in that angry letter. Whoever that guy is.

[Brett Vesely]

Big nose. See it Corey tonight.

[John]

Wasn't it the newspaper that got mad at me and called me Stephen Holmberg? Yeah, and I told him, well, if you're going to to try to get me fired, at least get my name right.

[Brett Vesely]

These are all your comments on here or comments about you.

[John]

Wow, Holberg strikes again. You're welcome. I remember that. Some people won't be movie sty.

[Brett Vesely]

It's got 860 views now. I guarantee it'll be 900 by.

[John]

I'm not kidding. Between me and my friend Colin, 500 of them. We couldn't believe it happened. Then we just laughed for hours. And then Colin put up the phonetic spelling of all the lyrics on one of the YouTube videos.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I didn't see that.

[John]

Hysterical.

[Byron]

So mad. One lady so mad. Bring back Pratt.

[John]

Oh, she mad at me for loving. All right, good. She's a Pratt Perry fan. Yeah. All right. I'm not gonna entertain her ever.

[Brett Vesely]

Homberg sent me here. He's right. Brad has no business doing music.

[John]

Local.

[Brett Vesely]

Corey Feldman.

[John]

Let's not be that mean. It's better than Corey Feldman. But he'd open for him three years ago. Yeah, that's old too. People still visit. I don't know who. Who brought that to the party?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. Somebody posted it on our page.

[John]

Well, let's go with Sanjay. All right. We love Sanjay. He brought us breakfast. He's in a band called Reckless Eden and they are great. This song is called Skeletons. It was in Platio for some reason. This thing's a beast. These guys are great. If you want to look them up, you can pick it. I think Apple and Spotify. Yeah, you can grab. Grab that. So hop on that. It's Skeletons. Reckless Eden. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Damn it. Just got before and afters of a training on this. That's not fair. I can't go on the air with that happening. Off the air.

[Brett Vesely]

Juanita Anderson.

[John]

Hilarious. Ah, that's good stuff. Thanks for sharing that, gentle listener. You know what isn't fair, though? You've seen those Instagram ones, and I don't know if they're real or not where the pictures of that kid. And like, as a little. As a boy and he's, you know, sixth grade and says, who would ever date this nerd? And then the next picture is like, he's in junior high, he's kind of awkward. He's got zits on his face and he looks like a typical junior high kid. And it says, still lonely in eighth grade. And the next one's like, high school nerd. And everyone missed out. And then like 20, 26, it's one of the hottest girls you've ever seen. And you do a side by side and you're like, oh, my God, that's him. There are some winners out there. And that, you know, some of those dudes made the swaparoo and they did it right. Put some. Put some money. And if you're going to do it, invest. That is not a nickel and dime operation. Like what we just looked at. I don't understand. Like, I get the idea of. I totally supportive of, like, you know what? I'm in the wrong body. Look, if I could switch bodies, I'd do it. I'm just not going to put that kind of cash into this thing. If they had head swaps, oh, my God, I'd be all over the head swaps. Oh, yeah. I'm a poor man's Johnny sins. I look like Johnny sins. If he'd like. Oh, he's been thick. But I get the idea of that. But I don't understand, you know, I'm not making that swaparoo until I've got enough money to do it. It's not like I'm. To me, it's like driving around an opal and putting like Ferrari on the side of it. It's like, no, it's not like we know what it is and it's. It's an opal. Get enough to make at least the outer edge look like the car that you want to be. Don't. Don't start dressing up until it's done.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what Peyton was doing.

[John]

Yeah. Our guy Pace saving up. Save up enough to at least make it. So I'm like, totally not sure.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

The best compliment I can give you is like, kind of got dude features, but it doesn't bother me. But that one that we just saw. Not a doctor, but I. Back to the drawing board. I think, think. I think Larry be a hot woman. Yeah. I mean, you got.

[Byron]

I think it'd be impossible. Not for him because just the five o' clock shadow, he's got the.

[John]

Yeah, but they get rid of that. That's the. I don't know how the hormones and all that, they stop growing. They, they. You kill it all. It goes away. And electrolysis and stuff.

[Byron]

Sure.

[John]

Thanks, John. I think you'd be a good looking lady. Well, you're, you know, you're in shape. You're in shape. You're. You're like, you know, if they could.

[Byron]

Do that, I would date.

[John]

He's not oversized. He's about the right height, about 5 8. Nose a little big. We can work on that. The right hairdo will fix that.

[Byron]

Nice set of jugs, that all goes away.

[John]

God, I'm gonna imagine tagging a nice set of jugs. I date myself. Yeah, that's true. Well, you kind of are. Let's put the jugs in. What are you waiting.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Larry's that five eight. He's in good shape. Muscle tone. He'd be a good one. He'd probably drive about £15. Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Compared to anybody else in this building.

[Byron]

Wow.

[John]

I mean, low bar, Brad.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I know.

[John]

Can you imagine? Moynihan or R. Brett just said larry's the best looking lady in the building. Oh, you mean versus, like guy? Switch out. You're not wrong, but you're. That was pretty rude. Let's get right to it. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report, and it's brought to you by our friends at allpro shade. Allprochade.com the sun is never, ever going away again. It's perfect. You can listen to all the weather people go, it's the hottest January ever. Awesome. If this is the hottest January ever, it's the happiest I've ever been in January in my life. It's perfect here. Got the windows open at night. This is outrageous. But when you're standing outside, sometimes you get that glare and that gets annoying. So. Well, let's make that more convenient. With all pro shades, they'll come to your house and put together a program for your patio or area. You need a little more shade or some sort of a blind or something like that. They'll get it done for you. They'll make it look like it's supposed to be part of the house, not just stuck to it. All pro shade. They'll come out and design it. They've been at it for over 20 years because they're good at it. You don't last that long unless you're good at something. Right? AllProchade.com. they got you, Brady.

[Byron]

Report it Good Monday or good Tuesday morning to you.

[John]

Phoenix legal to hit them to. We're going. Feels like a Monday.

[Byron]

Happy national Disc Jockey day.

[John]

Hey, got stacks of wax. Stacks of wax coming at you the.

[Byron]

Next hour, January 20th, because one of the original disc jockeys, Alan Freed, aka Moondog, passed away 61 years ago today in 1965.

[John]

He died 61 years ago.

[Byron]

He helped popularize the term rock and roll. Rock and roll.

[John]

He invented it, right? He was the inventor of the term rock and roll. Roll.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John]

According to a couple people, probably in Cleveland.

[Byron]

Yeah. They're saying it was probably a black.

[John]

Guy, but he gets credit.

[Byron]

Well, everything they say popularize.

[John]

Huh?

[Byron]

The rock and roll term. They're not saying he.

[John]

They won't say that anymore. They used to. Because the reason Brett's right, the reason the Rock and Roll hall of Fame is in Cleveland is because Alan Freed was on the air there saying rock and roll. And they gave him credit for doing it first. But no question, a black guy said it before him. Him. Everything about rock music is stolen. Come on, Elvis, he's good. But Chuck Berry and Little Richard and all those guys are like, really? And all those blues guitarists from the 30s, that's rock.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, look at Led Zeppelin.

[John]

They stole all their music from those old blues guys and good on them. They did a great job. But I mean, when you go back and find what they stole, it's not even like. It's not subtle. They stole it all. There's a couple stolen. Then Robert Plant read like Lord of the Rings of the Rings and wrote lyrics like a crazy person. Tolkien and black guys should sue Zeppelin every day.

[Byron]

Couple of basis fun facts. Uranus was originally named Herschel. It was discovered by an astronomer, William Herschel, in 1781.

[John]

He can't get over over it.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not even Friday.

[John]

No.

[Byron]

Several names were proposed in the decades after, but it was. We go wasn't until the mid-1800s that they said, let's call it after the Greek God of sky in the heavens. When someone is in the dark for a long period of time, their sleep schedule adjusts to 36 hours awake, 12 hours of sleep. Sleep scientists have no idea why the.

[John]

Circadian rhythms of the sun. I've read articles about that. They put. I don't know if it's NASA or somebody. One of those programs stuck people in a cave. They didn't have access to sunlight. And they went for a couple months. And I think at the end of it, they were staying up like 40 hours, pretty regularly. Without no meth? No, without anything. And they didn't know it. They asked him, like, how long do you think you're staying up? And they're like, 15, 16 hours. Like, no, you're up for two days now. And they had no idea. That was just a natural feeling. When you Vegas, it doesn't take long. Take the sun away from people in Vegas and take clocks away and you'll look at your watch and go, it's 4am I've done 24 hours in Vegas and not felt it at all. Drinking. Heck, I almost did it this weekend. Played golf all day and then played at the casino. We were there for 14 hours. Felt like a blip. Had people eating with their feet. It was amazing. Oh, what a night.

[Brett Vesely]

Eating with her feet.

[John]

I'll tell you later.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[John]

It was a weird. It's too hard to explain. There's videos.

[Byron]

Louis the 19th only served as the king of France for 20 minutes. He took over the throne for his father on August 2, 1830. Thought about it for 20 minutes, decided he didn't want to be king, abdicated so Henry V could take over.

[John]

Over.

[Byron]

I think we've done this one before, but the song Manamana.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Associated with the Muppets, is originally written in Italy in 1968 for the soundtrack of a softcore porn movie.

[John]

Really? Manomina was porn.

[Toledo]

Yeah, we've done that one.

[John]

There was a. Yeah, I don't remember that. We replay a best of bit for that. Is that right? Yeah. Hey, what was the one you had fun that played that? I like when best of fool my my friends. I got a text from Charles who runs Born and Bred in Aftermath. I'll give him a free plug because those restaurants are awesome. And just at. Was it 9:40? Yesterday goes Sadie Hawkins date. Then the guy dates the mom, says he said the older lady was. Or he said, talking about changing diapers. And the old, old, old lady, she was escorted like a fire hydrant. And there were kids playing stickball in it. And he goes, I was dying. I'm like, what are you talking about? I didn't realize he was listening to the show and I was still half asleep. Yeah, let me.

[Toledo]

Let me pull that one out and.

[John]

See which what bit that was. When was that? Because it is a funny idea that the grandma squirts so hard that urban inner city kids play stickball in her squirts.

[Byron]

Like they're doing the fire hydrant.

[John]

Yeah, like they just open up a fire hydrant.

[Toledo]

Oh, that was during the. What Would Brady do? So we replayed that his high school nemesis is now banging his mom emailed in.

[John]

Okay. Yeah. And the kids playing stickball in her squirt water. Yeah, Squirt water is a good band name. Do they still make squirt soda?

[Byron]

Oh yeah, yeah they do.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Even after all this.

[Byron]

And Ruby Squirt you. Yeah.

[John]

That's that time of the month. Squirt. There's a grapefruit soda. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Byron]

According to a new report, the average American hits their daily energy low at 2:06pm that's being called the peak slump time.

[Toledo]

6:00Pm yeah.

[Byron]

They say people wish they had twice their current energy levels too.

[John]

I'm usually pretty good about that.

[Toledo]

What at six?

[John]

Yeah, mine's about three or four.

[Toledo]

Oh yeah, no, mine's one. One or two.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'm with Toledo about one or two.

[John]

I can knock that. If I get lazy at 11 it get, it hits me fast. But if I keep moving three or four is when I'm like you gotta stop.

[Byron]

And in China and Woo Woo City they've rolled out some AI powered Robocops to do traffic. Pretty amazing.

[John]

Oh they're like physical.

[Byron]

Oh yeah.

[John]

We're not doing like light.

[Byron]

I'll show you. You see a picture of them look like crap.

[John]

It's a robot.

[Byron]

And so they're kind of on like a four way, a four wheel Segway.

[John]

But they can do floating around on wheels, stopping traffic.

[Byron]

Traffic, yeah. They can conduct traffic like people waymos. They can give out citations. But I think it's like for, I.

[Toledo]

Don'T think illegally, you know went away from the Robocop.

[John]

I didn't even think of that. No. People waymo where they build robot waymos of humans and they monitor us and they're all on the same page. They can communicate like crazy and send photos immediately. Oh boy. Well I didn't think the police were going to get a. We're going to lose a war to China if we keep it up. There's some lady going around saying that China's been lying about how many people live there. And she, she's from China and she used to work in the government and stuff. She goes there might be 600 million.

[Toledo]

Because they, well you got all those giant empty buildings that they built.

[John]

I don't know about that. She was saying that they've been lying the whole time about their population. I don't even know why but she was like going on saying there might be 600 million in China maybe, but they're, they're hitting us with, you know, every city's got 20 million.

[Toledo]

One child policy.

[John]

Keep the numbers. I don't know control it. I don't know. They can't because it's 2 billion. I don't know if it's right but it does seem a lot that why.

[Toledo]

Did that so India this whole time just said hold my.

[John]

No I've seen India. There's a billion of them. I think it's because they all look exactly the same and it's easy to get away with with it. And who wants to do the census in China? I count you already. I can't. Oh man. 2, 3, 4.

[Toledo]

All right.

[John]

There 20 of them there. Every time I look over I don't know if that's a new guy or not even they. And that's true. I've. We have Chinese friends and Asian friends who are like I don't know. He looks exactly the same. Like would you guys do had a.

[Byron]

Cargo ship dump over on the shores of of East Sussex, England. And that beach is now covered with uncooked french fries and onions. There's a picture of a Kleenex. They've started clean up cleanup for the whole weekend. And there are bags. I mean it's whole onions but I mean if you take a bigger shot of the wow wow beach it's covered in chips.

[John]

Chips and onions. Well, they're already salted.

[Byron]

We got a 37 year old woman in Miami. Lindsay Joseph Berg ordered a lift from a family dollar last week. When the driver arrived, she asked him to help load her bags in the back.

[Toledo]

While at the family dollar.

[Byron]

Yep, she was at the family dollar, needed a ride, asked the driver to load up the back of the car. So he goes around to load up the bags. She jumps in the front of the Honda Civic and drives off. His iPhone was still inside the vehicle. So the authorities were able to track her down pretty quick. Lindsay had apparently just driven herself home. When the police arrived, she admitted the stealing it. Police also found pink a pink glass pipe with cocaine residue in it.

[John]

There it is.

[Byron]

Purse along with some Xanax.

[Toledo]

Once you got a balance, cocaine and Xanax.

[John]

Oh yeah, because you get too high on one, you gotta bring the other back.

[Toledo]

They just balance each other out.

[John]

Yeah, that's the thing. You get oh, I got juiced up.

[Toledo]

You're just gonna be back at zero.

[John]

I don't know if it's zero. I think you get a nice run. And they're like calm down, calm down.

[Byron]

So what do you think Lindsay looks like? Like Lindsay 37 years old.

[John]

Lindsay, the 37 year old crackhead from Miami. She looks like Larry as a girl.

[Toledo]

I'll go Cuban.

[John]

She's. She's white, but she's tan.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm going white trash.

[John]

We're all go white trash. Lindsay. Not bad.

[Byron]

Not bad.

[John]

Oh, not bad.

[Byron]

Not your description.

[John]

She looks younger than 37 for being a crackhead.

[Toledo]

Well, maybe Cuban.

[John]

Calm down about the coke.

[Brett Vesely]

The coke pipe turned me off a little bit. I'm like, okay, maybe we're leaning one way. But then the Xanax brought me back.

[John]

Kind of left.

[Byron]

Leveled itself.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had a couple bucks in her pocket as well. She had to go get some Zannies, maybe prescription. So she's seeing a therapist. Yeah, clearly a white. A white trash.

[Byron]

One of the things they were talking about during the Rams Bears pre game on Sunday was the Rams players were putting cayenne pepper in their socks.

[John]

Cool.

[Byron]

To keep warm.

[Brett Vesely]

They do what you got to do.

[John]

And burn the eyes from the bear Experts.

[Byron]

If it works. I said it actually does work. You just gotta combo. You gotta be careful the amount that you put on there.

[John]

Two pairs of socks.

[Byron]

And then what you do is you blend it. They say they recommend you blend it with foot powder.

[John]

Ah, cut it.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

But I would say that you put one pair of socks on and then pour the cayenne pepper in the second sock and put that over the other one and there's a heat layer in between. Then you tape it up so it doesn't slip. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness, it'll also.

[Byron]

There's a good chance it ruins your socks. One of the players post.

[Brett Vesely]

That's fine. Yeah.

[John]

I was gonna say. Do you think that you're reusing the socks from the NFL game? Well, if you're.

[Brett Vesely]

If you're a cardinal.

[John]

I was just gonna say that same thing. Fine. More again. Go back and listen to our first break. The boogers for Bidwell program has begun here at Hubbard Radio and 98 KUPD and we're all on board.

[Brett Vesely]

We should get shirts and everything.

[John]

Yeah, I think boogers forbid. Well, we'd have to invest and that. The company's not going to do that. But if you had boogers for Bidwell, and then every time you see Michael Bidwell, you put your finger in your nose and you just flick it at him or try to touch him with it because he needs to know how much the city hates him. He thinks we like him. I think he thinks he's something something. And the only thing that's going to work is to hit him where it hurts. His ego every time he walks into a restaurant. Go back to it. Someone. Scream it. Boo him. Remember the care. This guy emailed me this. The Carolina Panthers owner. Everybody hated that guy a couple years ago and there was a viral video of a fan following him everywhere. Five feet. Boo. Sell the team. The guy. Look what happened. He fixed it. The Pirate Zone owner. He can't go anywhere in Pittsburgh. They hate him. He goes to the games. It's just a. It's not a little either. It's not just like flippant. They hate him. He's out there buying free agents this year.

[Brett Vesely]

Reinsdorf's the same way. But he's still not buying.

[John]

No, but he's got. Man, that's true. Reinsdorf has that Bulls thing. He can never outlive. He always just points to those trophies. God damn it. Get us those. Those. Bidwell's got nothing.

[Brett Vesely]

Literally nothing. Yeah.

[John]

Did you see the. The new banner they hung at State Farm Stadium?

[Toledo]

Oh, no.

[John]

That said it's a 2026. Interviewed John Harbaugh for head coach. That's. It's a new banner they put. Because that's as close as they'll ever get to. So are you going to do that.

[Brett Vesely]

When you see him at the Rah Room? Next time just start.

[John]

Boo. Go to hell. Go to hell.

[Byron]

Just a couple of weeks away from the Olympics. We already got controversy.

[John]

Dua Leaf is doing the commercials.

[Byron]

Have you heard about this? The ski jumping penis gate?

[John]

I have not. Brady.

[Byron]

Professional ski jumpers are artificially enlarging the genital area before official measurements. Oh, a little. By using substances, sometimes silicone, placed in a condom like sleeve in order to enhance their jumping.

[John]

This is like a pendulum.

[Byron]

Dynamically. I guess it would help. Yeah.

[John]

I was wondering what they.

[Byron]

Before the season, ski jumpers are subjected to a mandatory body scans to determine the dimensions of their suits under the guidelines for the sports governing board. Oh, and the International Ski and Snowboard Federation.

[John]

Wouldn't you want a smaller one like to have a tighter suit? Like no drag.

[Byron]

The crotch measurement is taken from the lowest point of an athlete's genitals.

[Toledo]

So an airplane, when it goes up, the. The flaps are down. Right.

[Byron]

So maybe if you manage to move that point downward, you automatically get more surface area on the suit.

[Brett Vesely]

There you go.

[Byron]

Wow. Adding extra fabric provides aerodynamic advantages. Is can translate into longer jumps.

[John]

So a guy like me would look like somebody like God just threw him into the snow I got spiked. He doesn't have a big dick at all. So the shorter jumpers, you'd be the.

[Toledo]

Agony of defeat guy.

[John]

Yeah, that guy had a microp. Had no idea that he needed a ballast. How about that? And that's a controversy.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

They've been measuring dicks in ski jumping for years.

[Byron]

And this mostly the suits. So these guys are enhanced the suit before they, you know.

[Toledo]

Do the women have this? Do the women do.

[Byron]

I would think so, yeah. But.

[John]

But when they jump, do they have a condom full of sand attached to their penis To.

[Toledo]

Great point.

[John]

Because if it's just for the suit.

[Toledo]

And then couldn't you shape it? Like, if you're going to use a condom full of sand, wouldn't you?

[John]

But that's the point. Like, if you don't have that in there, your suit's got a baggy spot. Right.

[Byron]

Last week, two Norwegian ski jumping coaches and the team suit technician were suspended for 18 months.

[John]

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

The suit technician.

[John]

You heard the fluffer, Taylor, right? A suit tech.

[Byron]

The suit technician were caught on video inserting illegal non elastic stretches into the crotch area of the suits belonging to two key members of the squad.

[John]

Man. Well, it's a game of inches, so you have to take your chances with your inches, I suppose. That's crazy.

[Byron]

Once again, size matters.

[John]

Of course, I would assume it would have been the other way, but I guess that makes sense. I'd have thought maybe the less you had down there, there'd be less drag in the air, but man, you're like a dowling rod. You're gonna come down. It's drawing you down to your spot. That is one of the more fascinating sports that's ever been invented and to consider jumping. Yeah, when it was invented, there was like no safety measures at all. Back in the early 1900s when they're like, yeah. And it has a huge J at the end of it, you just. Those dudes are flying.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Like, that's not fearless.

[Byron]

Felix.

[John]

Felix. And he was like the Eddie the Eagle.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John]

They're all kind of retarded.

[Brett Vesely]

And those skis back then were just like two by fours.

[John]

They go to Home Depot and grab a couple planks and just like, I dare you. And like a bunch of dudes did it and it became a sport.

[Byron]

I got two pretty videos. First one's another work accident.

[John]

Do women do that?

[Toledo]

That's what I was wondering, you know, and what's the, what's the protocol there? Because if you can throw jugs in a woman, then. And if That's a good point. That's supposed to make her fly better.

[John]

If she's got big flapjacks, wouldn't they.

[Toledo]

Be all doing it?

[Byron]

These things are awfully pointy.

[John]

She's got, like, Madonna boobs. That's one thing I don't understand. Women screaming. Like, I don't think they ever had to protest that one, even back when they didn't have rights and stuff. Any. Any woman that said, we want to be part of that sport, like, have at it. Like, nobody ever said, no, women's gonna do this. Like, get her up there.

[Byron]

If we notice a big bulge in the women's area over there in the crotch. I don't know. On the ski jumping, you're gonna have double bulb, double.

[John]

How do you double bubble? How do you realize you're good at it? At ski jumping, you just accidentally go down.

[Toledo]

Parent throws you on a mountain, you land as if. You land.

[John]

You land. We're in here. Lean forward. Hold still.

[Brett Vesely]

No, thanks.

[John]

That's a sport I don't get. You got to practice all. I mean, you think about it, the Olympics, you get three or four runs, but that dude's done that thousands of times, and the trek back doesn't seem worth it. You land like in Gilbert, and then you have to walk all the way back to Tempe, Gotta hike all the way back up.

[Byron]

Then you see them with a train when it's not even winter.

[John]

It's like that roller hill, weird roller thing, and they land on grass, on rollerblades. My knees hurt just watching those guys saying, no sticks. They got to do that wobbly balance thing with their arms at the end. And we. And none of us watch for success.

[Byron]

I think they start off with the wings, and then they.

[John]

No, they. No, they talk about when they land. Yeah, they do that and try to plank it. Yeah, one foot's ahead of the other other, but none of it. And the worst part about their sport, none of us watch it to see how good they are. Once every four years, we just want someone to eat. That's it. That's the only thing you'll remember is the dude, that face plan.

[Toledo]

First one's not coming up.

[Byron]

Oh, bummer. This one, I'm.

[John]

I think it's AI, but she riding the cian.

[Byron]

It is. And there's a series of them. They show a bunch of.

[John]

So she's riding a sex horse. Yeah, and she's got a. A Covid mask on first. Oh, she. Okay, that's AI Brady. Jesus. Her whole body for your entertainment. Well, all right. But her body released all of its fluid.

[Byron]

Beer.

[John]

It's more than that. It's a whole. Like a bottle of champagne. Here we go. Play it again. Oh, my God. That's more water than. It's like a dam breaking.

[Byron]

Nobody. There's, like, a bunch of them now.

[Toledo]

And nobody reacts.

[John]

Of course there is.

[Toledo]

And you're gonna get fooled by everyone else.

[Byron]

Yeah, the.

[John]

The women filming the lady didn't even go ew or anything, and that is gushing. What are you. What did you do this weekend? That popped up. Where was Kirby?

[Brett Vesely]

Not at home.

[John]

Kirby had a weekend.

[Byron]

I shot it over to Toledo.

[John]

Know. So while the football game's on, you're flipping around commercials.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Your algorithm's different than you want, different than me. Yeah, I never. I've never gotten that. And if anybody should get that, it's me.

[Byron]

Yeah, I don't know how I qualified.

[John]

Oh, we know how you qualified for it, kid. Come on. There's no lying your way around it.

[Toledo]

Anymore to tell you how the algorithm works.

[John]

Between crackers and meat recipes, sometimes girls gushing on fake horses. It just happens somehow.

[Byron]

Just happened.

[John]

Can't be explained.

[Byron]

I think they just throw it out there.

[John]

Sure, that's. It's a random draw.

[Toledo]

Did you see Apple's new ad? It is your Instagram wet dream.

[John]

Breastfeeding and fish.

[Toledo]

It's all people on one leg, one arm, cripples.

[Byron]

Yeah, and you gave him a great idea.

[John]

You seem to think that it's just a random thing, but now we know. And you're on the thing during the football game. This game's a little slow. See if we can watch a massive orgasm.

[Byron]

If Toledo gets the message.

[John]

What are you doing? It's. Yeah, that's what?

[Toledo]

You're not paying attention to that.

[John]

By the by, he tried to just put that on you.

[Byron]

I know he did.

[John]

Deflecting off the idea that sitting next to his angel of a daughter, Daddy's watching orgasmic squirters during the Seahawks game and blaming you for.

[Toledo]

What are you looking at, dad?

[John]

Nothing.

[Byron]

Can I see Juicy Fruit commercials?

[John]

The taste is gonna move you. Juicy Fruit get fat through you.

[Byron]

Hey, dad, will you quit watching ladies.

[John]

Orgasm during the game, man? What?

[Byron]

You're crazy.

[John]

She's not orgasming.

[Byron]

That's fake.

[John]

Women don't do that. That's AI. Ask your mother. Women don't have them. I want to see Brady's phone so bad. We're gonna do when he dies, guys. The three of us are gonna do the best phone audit you've Ever. Like it's gonna be so thorough. Look at how often he looked at cripples orgasming.

[Byron]

You're not supposed to do that.

[John]

What do you mean? The cripples.

[Byron]

You're supposed to erase it.

[John]

No, no, we're gonna look at it for you. We'll keep it in the. We'll keep it tight in the circle.

[Byron]

But you can look at it now if you want.

[John]

No, we don't want to. It might bleed onto my phone. I get up in jail, you can't have that team breastfeeding Doc Brady on a Sibian. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

We're light today, so this one's a new one. I guess this is a thing now. Exploding.

[John]

This is the Exploding Hammer Festival, held every February in the town of San Juan de la Vega. Oh, yeah, we've done. Festival lasts for not us at all. Dates back to 1717, honoring Hammers, who is considered Mexico's Robin Hood. So you just hit tannerite with a hammer explosives and attach them to the end of a hammer. They then swing the hammer high into the air and smash it down into a beam on the ground, igniting the explosives.

[Toledo]

Yeah, for somebody else.

[John]

No, this needs to be a son's halftime show in the town of San Juan de la Vega, Mexico. The festival lasts for a week and dates. No, no, no. This is good. Guardian who is considered Mexican. The Suns need to do when they do that. La Familia Nights and stuff. And lo, Suns have a halftime where we celebrate Hammer day high into the air and smash it down. Awesome. Yeah, yeah. Mexican Heritage Night at the Suns. Let's do. Let's do that. And you wouldn't call it racist. You guys are doing it. We don't let whites do it. That's appropriation.

[Toledo]

Right?

[John]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Start off with a little work accident here.

[John]

Nothing major. Oh, we're on the second floor of a building that's being built. They have no stone. The stairs are right there. Oh, no. Why? Oh, the whole thing caved in on it. Dumb. Oh, cool floor. It's gonna be a cool floor if those guys ever get it done. Now one of them's dead.

[Byron]

That won't have to be buffed out a little bit.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, this one may have come from Brady's algorithm.

[John]

Got a barbershop pole. Oh, it's a Family Guy thing to start. Huh? Stewie's in. Oh, my God, it's a. With tons of face piercings. I don't know if she's crippled.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what this is.

[John]

A thousand Face piercings, a ton of weird makeup. Like a clown.

[Toledo]

That's not a mask, is it? That's like her face.

[John]

Is she pregnant? I think she's pregnant. She's also got that stuff Toledo's got. Her skin is covered and rosacea.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at the way your mouth is just.

[John]

Oh, that's like a dental thing.

[Toledo]

That's one of those dentist things that keep your mouth open.

[John]

I want to look at that. Yeah, it's. It's that speculum for a face.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, this is what happens to chomos.

[John]

All right. It's a child molester. No. Geez. He got caught touching a kid and he got. Oh, my God. Somebody just bloodied his head. Oh, my God. This is the post fight. Do we have any shots? Oh, man, they messed him up. Street justice. Well, don't touch the kinder.

[Brett Vesely]

And then we'll just end with another work accident. It's not as gruesome as you think.

[John]

It'S going to be, but he's 30ft up. He's trying to walk across a two by four from one side to the. Oh, he's over. He's got the ladder. He made it. Still about 30ft off the ground. Takes his next step. Doesn't look good. Precariously bet. Why is he going down that direction? Face the other way. Oh, this is a bad idea. I know. He's gonna try to swing back around and go to the.

[Toledo]

Is he gonna start welding or something?

[John]

Oh, now he's just back on the ladder the proper way. It's a straight up and down. Oh, he slips. And down we go. He fell in a pool of sulfuric acid. And now he's. And now he's the joker.

[Byron]

Yeah, he's got to get out of that.

[John]

Oh, his.

[Byron]

Oh, it's too late.

[John]

His sulfuric suit. Those aren't real sounds. I think they've been added in. He's the joker now, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Look at his skin.

[John]

The skin's just sloughing off. He's got to call Izzy with a phrase that pays for. Oh, man, he's turning. Sulfuric acid's turning him dark black. He's all done. Trouble cop.

[Toledo]

I thought that sounded familiar.

[John]

And now you can try my new line of cosmetic products. Where does he get such wonderful toys? All right, There you go. That's a good one there. I haven't seen that. Why have wide open vats of sulfuric acid anyway? Isn't that just for movies?

[Byron]

And walk across a rector set like if there.

[John]

Again, chemical.

[Toledo]

Guys, let us know. Why is there a giant Vat of sulfuric acid anywhere.

[John]

Protective internal. Johnny knows. Oh, there's a bucket of sulfuric acid. The last thing I need to do is tightrope over the. This?

[Toledo]

Yeah, that, too.

[Byron]

And wearing a suit that.

[John]

Wear a wet suit, no protective suit. Gonna go right down. Yeah, Just don't do it. I watch Breaking Bad. It eats the whole body. I don't think that was sulfuric, but it was good stuff. Had to have a special bucket for it. And call me a coward all you want, but I'm not doing that stuff. That's not cool. I hide from elephants in streets. Streets.

[Brett Vesely]

As you should.

[John]

Brady's throwing peanuts at him. There's just a difference. Throw it one way, you dodge the other. Yeah, you're quicker than him. Sure of it.

[Byron]

Look, we're besties.

[John]

Yeah. I throw pumpkins at hippos. I got it. There you go, everybody. That's your Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? I'm getting emails from people and I'm with you guys about the Broncos and Bills game. So many of them sending over there. I win 350 bucks that, you know, you got beat on a lot of bets there. You know what I think could happen? We should talk to our friends over at FanDuel because they're the official sports book of the NFL, right?

[Toledo]

Right.

[John]

So what's going to happen here? If the NFL has any scruples, and sometimes they do, is a few days after a call, like, if you missed it, the call was just. The more you watch, the more you're like, oh, my God. And especially because in the very next day, another. Was it the next game?

[Toledo]

It was the next game, wasn't it?

[John]

Well, it was the Bears and Rams. The next day, they had the exact same thing go, and the opposite happened. And it was game. It's game. I mean, literally game changing in that. That horrible. And then you had the holding and the. The potential safety and the. Oh, so many things went against the Bills in ways that the refs blew it. So sometimes the NFL will write a letter and say, yes, we admit we missed that. They'll write a letter to the team and say we missed that and whatever. You know what?

[Brett Vesely]

They should now.

[John]

Well. Right. It does the team no good. And there's really no fixing that.

[Brett Vesely]

Teams and the betters.

[John]

You can make it good with betters with the official sports book of the NFL. FanDuel. If the NFL ever writes that letter, they'll give the money back on the bad beats.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, wow.

[John]

It's all computerized.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

We all have action that says, had that changed because they can't predict the final score or another thing, but because you just get your money back. Yeah.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John]

Because the game was tainted by a game changing mistake. And that, man, that was a game changing mistake. I mean, possession changed hands, field goal ranges over, over. It iced it. And they, you know, it was. That's a rough one. So I wonder if. I don't know.

[Byron]

But that's always, you know, it is interesting because it's just part of the game.

[John]

But it's been part of the game. But now with replay and all this other stuff and now that everybody's got a sports book in their hand and the NFL has. Trust me, FanDuel and the NFL have both benefited wildly from online sports gambling. I mean, this is a unexpected cash boon for them that you can't even imagine. If they were to finally say, sorry about that gang FanDuel. Only because we're the FanDuel's numbers would go through the move. Well, at least when they screw up, you get your money back. You know, if they say, we blew that call and it changed the game and. And there is an argument to say that altered the final score or something like that.

[Toledo]

Oh, for sure. In that case. Yeah, the Bills game, for sure.

[John]

Yeah, that one. Games like that. We think the Bears game, too.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

You think that because it was a late.

[John]

Yeah, it was late, but wasn't it the right call?

[Brett Vesely]

No. Well, depends on which way you go. You know, like.

[John]

That's true.

[Brett Vesely]

Depends on what they're calling.

[John]

Yeah. What is the call?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not blaming it on that, but it was game changing.

[John]

Now, Craig, Craig House emails over and says, I know Bill's fans are mad, but what's the excuse for the other four turnovers? You make a strong point that they were blowing it. But at that moment, even with four.

[Brett Vesely]

Turnovers, the momentum changes.

[John]

The game was over.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

I'm saying if the NFL rights a. Yes, we made a terrible error. No, you don't write a letter to the team if you miss a hold in the first quarter. But countless amounts of. And this has happened a lot. This isn't me. This is like real. The NFL writes letters. They write letters to say, we're sorry we blew it. And that would obviously that call. Different changes.

[Toledo]

They suspend reflection.

[John]

Oh, yeah, they'll fire guys.

[Toledo]

They fire them from the playoff they. They hammer them for not being able to be in the playoffs. Playoffs is money for the refs, too.

[Byron]

Yeah, they have to have an A.

[John]

Grade in order to come back. This guy's email actually is something something. Duh. Bills. So I know where he's coming from. And he says, john, you got a better chance at your Blacks and Greenland plan than sportsbook giving money back. I know it's a far fetched idea. And the Black for Greenland thing is not again. We did it to Hawaii. We just showed up and went, hey, guys, guys, this is ours now. But we had to look different. Can't just show up and be sort of like them. We got to be totally different. So that's a different argument. Yeah, get me off.

[Byron]

It would be. Well, it would be easier for them to credit it back.

[John]

Just credit you the back.

[Byron]

Because you can't. It's not like you cash it out. It's a credit back.

[John]

And it would make you say, I'm going to stick around this betting thing. Like, oh, okay. And it wouldn't happen that often. But what would happen is the NFL would stop writing letters. They'd stop admitting they did wrong. They already have a hard enough time with that anyway. But I mean, there's some that there that game itself. And Broncos fans, I get it, Four turnovers at the time. You should have been trouncing them. You're at home and they're in your plus three in the turnover department. You should have been killing them. Fact is, they had the lead and just about bounced you without that play. And you would have been better off getting bounced because I'd rather see the Bills and Patriots than I would Jared Stidham in the Broncos. Sorry, I'm off on a tangent. I'm off. I'm on one. It's a good idea, though. Pause at FanDuel. I think, you know, we can make our. And FanDuel as a business, you can make our betters really happy. If we made a deal with the NFL that any time then it would. It would be if the NFL writes the letter, that would be the problem. Because the NFL would just stop doing that. Stop publicizing their mistakes out loud. But that was brutal. And when I first saw it naked eye, you're like, all right, could go either way. Either calls, right? And then the more you watch it, the more you're like, no, this is bad. This is really bad. Really bad.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, they have replay. I mean, it's.

[John]

They didn't use it at least, you know, don't get it.

[Brett Vesely]

They have that exact same play, make both calls the same, then either way.

[John]

They had replay assist and they didn't. It didn't happen. Like, I still don't like when they.

[Byron]

Go to, you know, whoever the official.

[John]

Mike Pereira.

[Byron]

Yeah, Pereira. It was one different.

[John]

It was the CBS game. So what's the other guy for cbs?

[Byron]

Blandino is going to agree with the. The call there that they're not even, you know, he's like, I. I would agree with that. That was like. Well, because there's no.

[Brett Vesely]

It should have went to Vince McMahon.

[John]

Vince McMahon. Because it's WWE. It's all fixed. He's a Bears fan. He's having a rough week. He'll be out. But yeah, that's like I said, either.

[Brett Vesely]

Way, though, like, make the calls the same again. Right.

[John]

Wrong or otherwise, I say, and have for years, take away instant replay and let human error be part of it. Call in the field stands. That's it. Like, if we're going to a lot more catches. Well, because slow mo ruined everything, right? Exactly. And you just have to deal with the. Yeah. You're asking these dudes to do this in regular time. I've always said if you're going to have replay, you can't have slow motion. The referees are asked to do too much in real time to go back in slow motion. You know, you can't go back and do that. You cannot go back and say, all right, let's pinpoint, analyze this and scrutinize it down to its tenths of seconds and then say, these ref suck. I mean, it's not fair. If you got to watch the replay, you get three looks at it from three angles, you pick them in regular speed and make the call. And that way us at home, we can yell and scream and whatever. It's like, they don't have the benefit and we would just know it. They don't have the benefit of slow mo. So that. But that. That was brutal. Sorry about that. Bill's fans. You guys are cursed. Huge curse. And because I don't like any teams, it doesn't matter. But that was a rough one. And this is. We still think it might be because of OJ he still might have a vendetta against OJ And Buffalo ever having happiness again. I'll tell you what. I think maybe had I kept that white woman alive, the Bills would have had five or six championships. In fact, I blame Nicole. You know, I killed her in 1994. That was after the fourth one they lost. I mean, I was mad.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's like the Curse of the Bambino for Boston.

[John]

The curse of the O.J. simpsono. That's right. I'm just saying. Well, chop that bitches head off because we have nothing good in Buffalo. Not that I ever lived there. That place was horrible.

[Byron]

But.

[John]

I'm surprised I didn't kill anybody there. Walk the streets of Buffalo, you want to chop off some white people's heads, that's for sure. I'm just get out of here. How did he just show up? I didn't hear his portal open. Anyway, since it's Tuesday, but we missed yesterday, we do the two in one. So we're going to do a what Would Brady Do? Then the Hot Releases. A twofer. How about them apples? We'll get that done. Sorry about all those Bills fans that are wallowing around, but you guys are used to disappointment. You know, you're like people with lazy eyes and you're just used to people looking at them going, what happened? You're Bills fans. It's a thing we'll get to. What would Brady do next? Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? All right, here we go. It's time now for what Would Brady Do? The most moral man in all of Phoenix tries to solve all of your issues. Third one in here. Where did I put that? Where is it? Maybe you only have two today. Well, you know what? We're combining them up. I thought the third one was right there. It's somewhat. Anyway, the hell it's brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns over there in 12th street in Indian School. If you're interested in that, hop on over. Grab yourself anything you've ever wanted in the world of ammunition, guns, weaponry, and the accoutrement that goes with it. So you guys can check it out at MMP Guns right inside Mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. Ask for the Byron special's birthday's coming up. It's got to be close. I think it's February, but I mean now it's really like if you know Byron's secret word of the day. 100% off, man. I don't know what it is, but ask Byron like to try the secret word of the day. Only Byron knows knows it and tell him Happy birthday. It's Byron's big secret word of the day birthday special at MMP Guns, 1112 12th Street Indian School. If you want to get over there. Brady, are you ready Ready? I had a third one I cannot find. I forgot the guy's name and everything. All right. Anyway, I got this. Here we go. Brady. My son is 6ft 2 inches tall and he's a lean, strong, 166 man pounds. He is 14. Uh, he just quit baseball and says basketball is dumb. He doesn't even watch football with me. But this kid is a budding meal ticket. His main interest in life isn't even gaming. There's a future there. You know what he likes the most? This hurts. Poetry. You heard me. I don't know how to encourage both of these things. I want to force one down his throat and nurture the other. Give me some help here, Seth. It's too good to waste.

[Byron]

Wow.

[John]

You have the only teenage kid in all of America that doesn't want to be famous. Wow. Poetry. Who got to him, man? Yeah. Which one of his twink friends got.

[Byron]

Where did the poetry start?

[John]

Wow. I mean, it's. It's nice. Hey, I got an idea. How about you try to talk him and say, hey, your poems are great. Why don't you write your old man a poem about football and like, make him take his passion and put it towards, like say, your pro. Call it pros. They like that. Your prose is so just mouth wateringly delicious words that taste like food. Dude, will you watch this game with me and then write a poem about it and then make them watch a game with you and write a poem about that. That's not bad because then he'll get passionate about both. This is good.

[Byron]

You could also share the fact that they. There's plenty of sports that they compare or compare. They do a. You compare to poetry. Well, no, that's the way the way an athlete works.

[John]

It's ballet. Yeah, but you. Yeah, you'd have to put that into words. That's what I'm saying.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Have him put into words that he.

[Byron]

Is the performance of a player.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. I want you to write a poem about this. This person's game. Give him little assignments. He's like, ooh, I love pros. And then get him in there to do pros. Poets like saying prose. I don't even know what it means means or get used to this coming out of the bedroom literally 93.3Z. Write a poem about that. Yeah, I like that idea. Make him watch with you and then have his little.

[Byron]

That's a tough.

[John]

Because he Twinky notebook.

[Byron]

He's just now decided a 14. So he'd been playing.

[John]

Well, I mean, that's about the Time when kids stop trying sports. Like, they'll. You know, 14 is when you're like, do I want to keep pushing this? If he doesn't have it, he doesn't want it. But 6, 2, 1, 66 and 14, and he's a chiseled. That's gotta suck. That's gotta be rough. I think that's a good plan. How would you force sports down his throat?

[Byron]

Brady, you can't.

[John]

Yeah, you can. It's happened several times.

[Brett Vesely]

They can do a Mercury game.

[Byron]

Never works.

[John]

If you want him to.

[Byron]

When does it work?

[John]

Already going that way. You know what? How about that? Brett might be right. Instead of trying to make him like sports, try to take your passion away. And nothing strips the passion from a man faster than going to a Mercury game live. Brilliant idea. You'll never like basketball again. God forbid you start watching that girl's soccer. They have penalties for complaining. It's brutal. All right, well, good luck with your strapping young twink poetry boy.

[Byron]

Yeah, make sure he gets into Brit lit or whatever and get some scholarships.

[John]

Yeah, well, now, look. Keats and Shelly aren't gonna be. They never made money while they were alive. Your kid's gonna. Maybe he's great at it, but he has to die for him to be valuable. Ryan says, tell dad to find out what other theater girl got him into this that he's got the hots for, and squash that. Yeah, that's true. Break up his relationship. I wrote poems. They weren't good. There were a lot of them.

[Byron]

About.

[John]

The love of a female. Specific parts of her body that I thought would make her excited to read. They weren't dirty, either. That's the worst part. Brett always smiles when I tell the story about my vaginal prose book that got stolen. Here we go, Brady. Next one says, dear Brady, you didn't.

[Byron]

Take your love of sports away. You still did pose.

[John]

You know what? There was a time there I didn't think I had any love left. And I poured my heart out into those vagina poems because really, deep down, if I think about it.

[Byron]

But those weren't heartbreak poems.

[John]

Yes, they were.

[Byron]

Poems of love.

[John]

No. After Charles. No, no, no. There were some in there that were like, maybe, but when this is what.

[Byron]

I would like to do, or this wasn't.

[John]

No, it was. It was beautiful. It wasn't about, like. It wasn't graphic. It was poetry that was in honor of all she'd given me down there. Like the way that thing changed my life. Because it did. Because prior to that thing, there weren't those. And I found that thing for a couple years and I'm like, I'm not going to be able to breathe if I don't have that hanging around. And then I realized, oh wait, everybody's got one.

[Brett Vesely]

Poor Dan.

[Byron]

And did you want to share that with her? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John]

And that was the coolest goal that was going to win her back when she got a full five subject Mead notebook, each page covered in poetry about her vagina. But then you realize what woman would like that? Because it had nothing to do with her personality or anything like it didn't. It didn't once compliment her for her ambition.

[Byron]

Imagine if it worked out. Your plan worked and years from now. This is some letters from your father.

[John]

Oh, got father. That still wouldn't have changed.

[Byron]

You would have had kids.

[John]

You think I'd have still wanted the vagina after that thing? No. Look, when it starts getting useful for other stuff, I'm not interested. Oh yeah, no, no, no, no. I like the look of an oven in a kitchen. But I don't ever use it. I still doordash so I keep it convenient. The second she starts using that for evil, it's no longer the book of poetry goes in the fucking higher. But when you think back you're like, I think she's really gonna know how much I miss her and love her. All I was writing about was I just need. I need that back. You can. I don't care what your personality is. I had no, no connection to her as a human outside of that thing.

[Byron]

It's amazing because even after, you know, writing one, sometimes that helps you like, you go back. You're like, no, I'm not going to share this. No, you kept going back.

[John]

No, I had a. There were themes. Each subject had a new kind of. I was on four. It was. I was gonna fill it and give it to her and she'd have been like, what the. No one was gonna read that. Even the guy who stole it probably threw it out. He's. He missed out. What if you find out the guy who stole that book out of my. My Jeep, went on and like married Margot Robbie. Oh, using all my. My words. I'm a wordsmith.

[Brett Vesely]

Or do dua.

[John]

Oh God, that guy got dua lipa because of my book of vagina poems. And again, it sounds graphic and. And blue, but it wasn't. It was really good stuff. I wasn't rhyming sky high. My like I'm Lenny Kravitz. They were like some real work in.

[Brett Vesely]

This John Morrison over here.

[John]

Yeah. Yep.

[Byron]

Your pros was strong.

[John]

Pros was powerful. Keith Shelley Holmberg. Look at up. Dear Brady, my wife spent 100,000American dollars on her health last year. He has health in quotes. And she's not better from anything. She has all the same things she had a year ago. In fact, from the year before as well. There are two cabinets in my house. They're like a pharmacy of holistic pills and supplements. She goes to what's called a wellness doctor. We've talked about this twice a month. 450 a throat. She's only 38 years old. How bad can she be? I think she's fine. She has headaches every once in a while and skin problems that erupt on her legs. I've told her to go to a real doctor. She won't do it because what she has is that thing Toledo's got, but it's not.

[Brett Vesely]

We don't even know.

[John]

Africa elbow. Yeah. It says not even noticeable, though. She feels it under her skin. I told her that I'm cutting off this gravy train of medical money. We have insurance, but none of it covers this. She says, I don't care about her health. I think she's addicted to being unwell because she's not sick. She's been told about endometriosis in her family, so anytime she gets a stomach pain, she blames that, even though 4 of her wellness doctors have said she doesn't have it. So the very doctor she's investing in told her not. She's not got it. It's like she's rooting to be sick. How do I stop this money cut to my jugular and still care about her? It's starting to make me wish she did have a disease. So I at least knew what to say. Brian. Oh, boy.

[Byron]

Write the final check this year.

[John]

Cut it off, you're saying, dry it.

[Byron]

Up, you know, does she go to her license? Amazing.

[John]

Yeah. I bet she's got one. 38 is usually when the wellness thing.

[Byron]

Is, it's definitely thrived.

[John]

You can't talk to women about this and say you guys are addicted to wanting to be sick. They feel fine. They go to the doctor. No man understands that you feel good. No, you especially, you went through it. His ex wife loved going to and. But the problem with her was she always got something. Something she literally. Oh, well, maybe not, but she had a lot. Was it all right? He stands.

[Byron]

I'm a believer.

[Brett Vesely]

No, it wasn't underground.

[John]

No.

[Byron]

You know that. That's how powerful the mind is completely. Someone thinks now I'm not seeing it. I know I'm gonna get something.

[John]

You're gonna get something, right? It's. Yeah. No, but they get like, look, our grandmas were tough. Tough. My grandma smoked 400 cigarettes a day, took some bare aspirin in the morning and swore that that was going to keep her healthy forever. She lived to be like 86. She didn't have any supplements. There wasn't a cabinet of anything in the house to get. Now, granted, I wish we had a code. She looked horrible. I'm not gonna lie. She did look absolutely terrible in the situation.

[Byron]

Like, for this guy. I wish he could call all. You know, not making it obvious, but like Dr. Placebo. You pay this guy, that's like, I got these things for you.

[John]

Hey, this is a good idea.

[Byron]

It's a placebo effect where he's, you know.

[John]

Well, I think that's what most of those supplements are. But if she's not feeling better, why do you. This is what I don't get, 100 grand. If you don't feel better after the visit to the doctor, why go back? If this one time. I go back once and go, hey, it's not right.

[Byron]

Headaches won't go away.

[John]

Yeah. If it's a year and a hundred grand and you still of the same stuff, you got to start. The problem is those doctors will give them like 14 different things to buy, you know, the lotions and potions that they have to take. And then they go to like I am Newt and wizard stuff. And then they like, if they miss a day, the doctor has them convinced that they have to start all over. If you miss your pills, it's like if you're not consistent, it's another 450.

[Byron]

And I can tell. I can tell when I'm. I'm out of the pills.

[John]

Here's the thing, ladies. And this comes from all guys. Because we talk about this stuff. We don't get it. We want to be surprised.

[Byron]

We're not far from the. I mean, it is different.

[John]

Are we go when we're sick. We don't go when we're not a checkup.

[Byron]

I know, but maybe things that are feel good or you know, like what? I mean, we got the down to where you wear those, you know. Yeah, I did it. The bionic band. Yeah.

[John]

That's just a scam you're falling for cuz you're hoping for a quick fix so you don't have to go to the doctor. Yeah, that's what dudes do, right? Rub a little dirt on it. See if that helps. We do a bunch of things on our own. If you as a man went to a dude who charged you $450 for the bionic band.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

And it didn't work. And then you went back to him and said, you need another one, you'd.

[Byron]

Say, no, a better version for 100 grand.

[Brett Vesely]

2.0 version right now ready for you.

[John]

$100,000 and you don't feel better and you want to keep doing it, cut it off. Because it used to be called being a hypochondriac. Now it's just called being healthy. Because they've got a snow that the more you go to a doctor, the better you'll feel. And that's the opposite. Do like dudes have done for years, dodge that doctor. They have to put commercials on TV to tell guys, go to the doctor. Doctor. We don't. Until it bleeds or we can't use it anymore. We're not going.

[Brett Vesely]

Nope.

[John]

Cuz I don't want bad news. Yeah. You go get your checkups.

[Byron]

The rationale?

[John]

I'm. I'm fine right now.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

I've never heard a woman say what I say all the time. And I've heard other guys say, well, you know, this is getting a little long anyway. I'm ready for credits to roll. If that's it. It's it. I'm not saying if it's my time, it's my time. You're like, yeah, whatever. Whatever. What I don't know can't kill me. That's my medical advice to everybody. If you don't know about it, it can't kill you. The minute you know about it, guess what? That's all you're going to think about. Stop going. This is great advice to the doctor for no reason. If it ain't bleeding, swollen, and that's after three or four days, the swelling won't go down down for three or four days. And if you can't use it, those are the reasons to go. If you feel good and you're going to someone who's not even a real doctor, they're going to make you pay for something. No. No holistic or wellness doctor has ever said, hey, you're ship shape, get out of here. They've always got something to sell you.

[Byron]

That research that was on the.

[John]

You know better than anyone. And again, going back to Brett's thing, as bitter as he makes, maybe she always came out with like a real operation and like, like your ex maybe talked Herself into being sick a lot, but she had boots and operations and cuts. A wellness doctor will never tell you there's no reason for you to come here. A real doctor might, but a wellness doctor won't. I don't understand it. No man does. And we try to be supportive, but if. If it ain't working. Working, we're solvers.

[Brett Vesely]

At some point, you're just like, all right, then, whatever.

[John]

Well, I can't help.

[Byron]

I've recommended it to a couple. You know, check this out. If nothing else is working, it's like you're trying to find that thing that. That will help them. Because obviously, sure, I'm not helping with my suggestions or whatever.

[John]

You know what's funny? If you say, go to a real doctor, they scream, oh, you're an ass. You're an asshole.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you're a complete asshole.

[John]

It's like, the dude's not like, they just give me pills. I'm like, that's all you take? It's the other guy's just giving you pills, too. Yeah, but then when. I mean, that's bad pills. Like, I don't know if I didn't go to school for that.

[Byron]

And it's hard not to feel that that's a can of worms as well.

[John]

Don't even bother with it.

[Byron]

Test happy.

[John]

I want you to be healthy. But if you spend a hundred grand and I'm going through my taxes and my annual expenses and you're not better, we're redistributing that somewhere else. That's going to a different thing. You're no longer allowed to go to that guy. And if she yells at you, just go, hey. Then you pay for it.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's call Cordone. Cordell.

[John]

This guy says my wife had legit cancer and racked up some serious medical debt. Tell that dude to stop paying the doctors and take his wife's name off the house and cars and everything and file for bankruptcy in a few years. Her name's not on anything, so they can't take it from you. That's if it goes to collect. They keep calling. Just ignore them. That's my experience. Great man advice right there. Ignore it like the Book of Mormon. Turn it off like a light switch, Just go. Click. I'm not saying our way is right, but it is better because you know how much money I spent on doctors last year? Throw a number at me. Lower, Bob.

[Byron]

Three grand.

[John]

Lower, Bob.

[Byron]

Zero.

[John]

Zero dollars. Zero dollars. Guess how much I plan on spending this year without injury. I'm holding up the same zero There's.

[Brett Vesely]

A lot of boys out there jealous of that number.

[John]

Yeah, I'm not going out there. Something has to happen. Brady had his kidney get sucked out last year. I don't see a pile of pills in front of you and a bunch of crying. You powered through it, man. Man up. My grandma didn't have pms. She acted like a C word. The week before she was going to be a C word. My grandpa told her, knock it off, and she did. The good old days. The good old days. Knock it off. I've got pms. I'm. Next week I'm gonna be a complete. So I get to do it before I'm prepping. Keep it up, you're gonna have five across the mouth. Yeah, keep it up, you're gonna be doing this without any money and all alone.

[Byron]

No.

[John]

And then they just powered through. My grandma would grab her bears, aspirin, some cigarettes. Again, I will say to the ladies, Isabel did not look good. She looked like she was 85 when she was 40. So there is something to the, you know, know maintenance program.

[Byron]

There just like to, you know, you could figure out a way to say, you know, after the 100 grand and there hasn't been much in the results department.

[John]

Would you.

[Byron]

It's. Would you agree with that? Let's reassess it.

[John]

Let's say Brady, it's gambling. And she finds out he spent $100,000 and had no wins. You think he's. She's going to foot that bill next year year if she's paying for everything.

[Byron]

No, no.

[John]

See, there you go. Without results, you cannot keep going. I saw pictures of my grandma the other day and I was probably 5 or 6 and that put her at age 49. She looks like she was 100. Like there wasn't a picture of my grandma where she didn't look like my grandma. Grandma, like there was never like, wow, she looks young. She, when she turned 20, put that weird rose colored shirt on and those black pants and she had two of each, swapped them out every day, same clothes every day, same everything. She always looked the same class action hero. It was exactly that. Her closet was like two. Two. Shirley showed up. Shirley looked like herself. There was never a chance and never changed. Even when she got old, the hair stayed bald, black. She just looked like grandma all the time. She aged into being 80 and by the time she was 80, you're like, she looks good. But that took 80 years. Then she dropped off like, wow. Right when you caught up to how you've looked your whole life. You're done. 100 grand on pills. Jesus Christ. 100 grand. You better have something removed.

[Brett Vesely]

He's putting up with it too though.

[John]

That's. Man. There's a little of that.

[Brett Vesely]

You know.

[John]

You say Cordell. Cordell Brady actually says that. That was your first suggestion. Write the check. Here's 100 grand for expenses. I'm out. I'm gonna go find one of them healthy broads or.

[Byron]

That's her hobby.

[John]

It's a hobby. You've got too much then.

[Brett Vesely]

Definitely broke the check and get the.

[Byron]

Hell out of there.

[John]

Too much expendable cash. 100 grand. Make her get a job and pay for that herself. And then she'll start feeling better.

[Byron]

I bet you you at least you know LeBron. LeBron spends 2 million on himself. But there's a return on that.

[John]

It's. It's a drop in the bucket compared to what it's bringing. James Harrison used to do that. Spent $2 million on himself. But that his body was his job. Yeah, if her body's her job. That's called prostitution. There you go, Brady. You solved it today. And I agree with what you mouthed out. When didn't say on the air what a seaweed word. That's what Brady thought. There you go. That is what Brady did. Everybody. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny. Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? He's kind of. It's like a grape soda. Coffee. Coffee. A bratberry.

[Brett Vesely]

Sign me up.

[John]

I know. Damn it. You guys should see the show that goes on in here. What is? We're never going to show you though. The doors will never open to what happens in this room. Because it's hilarious.

[Brett Vesely]

Because we wouldn't be back tomorrow.

[John]

No. Not even a little bit. It's 9:36. Let's get going. It's Tuesday, so we got to do our hot releases. So let's do them, shall we? It's brought to you by our [e-mail]. the one thing that Bodhi over there wanted me to tell you guys. They're doing splits now, which is just a flat out awesome thing. If you've got a garage, do you have a split in yours? No. Oh, the split systems are insane. I got.

[Byron]

I had one in my.

[John]

So good.

[Byron]

The other house and the guest.

[John]

The new splits.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Unreal.

[Byron]

Even better.

[John]

Oh my God. The old ones were good. They're not the window things. They've got an actual.

[Byron]

Well, that's what I had.

[John]

No, no, these are different.

[Byron]

No, not the window. I had this.

[John]

The full split system. Yeah, get. Get hold of. They've got these now and they got great deals on them. So new AC unit.com is going to cover you there on top of already saving you a ton of money and making things right. If your AC unit is struggling, if you are. We haven't even. I mean the heat and stuff, you don't turn it on. So I don't even know if my AC units are all good. But if you struggled through last summer, be grateful that this winter we've gotten a bit of a reprieve running the heater. But when summer comes, if it's not ready to go, you'll know it real early. Newac unit.com's the place to go. Save,000, save time. Buy online. New ac unit unit dot com. Let's start with you, Richard. New TV and games and silly stuff that comes out. Oh, I gotta tell you all right, before you get into this, Scott Sutherland, who is the. He's the bigwig over there at Bonneville Radio that does KTAR and stuff like that. There's like three shows in the whole city and not sit and pat ourselves on the back, but it's us, Broomhead and Beth and I guess the sports guys too that actually still have some sort of viability with everything. So I. To listen. Listen to Scott because he's running a good operation. So he told me about a show called Fouda. Have you seen this? It's an Israeli television show you don't like. It's in Hebrew, subbed. I love Psy. It's him. I don't need subtitles at all. I like. I don't mind reading tv. Hey, I don't want to read too much. This is unreal. How cool. This is really so intense and it's been around for a little bit. I didn't. He told me. I didn't know about it. Oh, it's. It's Fauda. I think it means chaos, but I don't know for sure.

[Byron]

What is that? Velvet.

[John]

It is good and more timely now knowing like all the Hamas and all that stuff that goes on, these dudes are crushing. And it's about Mossad agents and you know who's in it? Frenchie from the Boys. Oh yeah, Found out he's an is. He's a Israeli guy. He plays a Frenchman in the Boys and he's not. Not really French. This show is intense and they're after the. Oh, it is. It is. It's intense. It's one of the better shows I've watched in a long time. Like, grabbed me right away because you got that whole Jews versus Arab thing. And they're human. Instead of just like what you see on the news, you're seeing human beings. So you're like. Neither side is presented as a. Golly, they're right. It's. It's intense. Good stuff, though.

[Toledo]

New series on HBO from George R.R.

[John]

Martin of.

[Toledo]

Westeros fame.

[John]

Yeah. You know, Lord of the. What was it called? I can't remember. Game of Thrones.

[Toledo]

Game of Thrones.

[Byron]

That's what I was saying.

[Toledo]

I got hitched up on that. A Night of the Seven Kingdoms. HBO Max debuted this past Sunday night. But this is supposed to be the next one.

[John]

Big. The Targaryens. Is it before it's. Is it a prequel?

[Byron]

New thing. I mean, the families are still there. Like he mentions, one of the Baratheons is in the deal. The Baratheon family. It's about jousting 100 years before.

[John]

100 years before game of Thrones. I am out cuz Game of Thrones ends so badly. Why do I care how we got here?

[Byron]

Festival.

[John]

Exactly. And you could teach me. Every night needs a squire. And you like you need. Same thing as the last one.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John]

And by the by, you want to live in this kind of lifestyle, get on out there like Brett says, in a couple weeks, hit that Renaissance festival, bang one of those big fat broads in her clothes that are too small and live your life. Yep.

[Toledo]

Couple weeks. I think it's going on now.

[John]

Is it. Is it started.

[Byron]

I think so.

[Toledo]

It's is it ends close.

[Byron]

No, I think it's usually February sometime through and then March the like first or second week of March.

[Toledo]

I thought it ended on President's Day.

[Byron]

Or maybe go say April.

[John]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

We don't know.

[John]

But I just know. I just know.

[Brett Vesely]

January 31st and ending March 28th.

[John]

There we go. A couple months starting in two weeks. And enjoy yourselves.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll be out there.

[Toledo]

It's back on Netflix. Star Search is on and it. Star Search.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Toledo]

I believe it debuts tonight or tomorrow.

[John]

Chris Teigen, Jelly Superstar is waiting to be crowned. Oh, they have actual judges this time. Musicians. Last time it was just Ed McMahon and then Arsenio did it for a while.

[Toledo]

All America's Got Talent for now.

[John]

Yeah. Epic panel of judges. Sarah Michelle Geller is a judge. Is you and Christy Teigen's boxing glove face. I'm Out. I like Jelly Roll. The new Jelly Roll is great.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, well, there's no original ideas left.

[John]

Just keep recycling.

[Toledo]

Also on Netflix, the second season of WWE Unreal, which is the behind the scenes season in season thing with the wwe.

[John]

In an era where you defended the secrecy of this business. What's that guy's name we earn out over the next several months until we get to SummerSlam, no days off. Here is behind the scenes. If we can make people of wrestling that Seth is injured, that's where the magic happens. See, and that's the thing, man. They tell you everything's fake and people still cry. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And they get into it. This one's for you, John. Kidnapped the Elizabeth Smart story.

[John]

Is this for me? Why would I care so much?

[Toledo]

You like all these mysteries type stories.

[John]

That's not a mystery. We found her and the window was wide open. She like 45ft from the house for a while, screamed, call 911. Like, the Elizabeth Smart story is pretty fantastic because the people that got her are the stuff of nightmares. Like the look of them. Do you know that one, Larry? The Elizabeth. Yeah. And when they finally see those hippies and they have her down in San Diego under that blue tarp and then you see them, you're like, wow, that little girl. And that. That is. Is. It's creepy, dude. Well, that's him clean, right?

[Byron]

Oh, they.

[Toledo]

When they first got him, he wasn't clean.

[John]

He is just a. It's Cooper. It's our friend Coop.

[Toledo]

All right, on HBO, Mel Brooks, the 99 Year Old Man.

[John]

Now, why did you become a comedian? Sex. I see. The one and only Mel Brooks. I can't imagine making movies without having watched his movies.

[Byron]

Blazing Saddles, Frankenstein, Spaceballs.

[John]

I am the writer, the director, the.

[Brett Vesely]

Producer and the star.

[John]

That's the actor. I asked for a little more money as the director. I said, what are you crazy?

[Byron]

You stink. I'm not gonna pay that kind of.

[Brett Vesely]

Money to a lot.

[John]

Gotta love Mel Brooks.

[Toledo]

On fx. And then later debuting on Hulu is the latest from Ryan Murphy called the Beauty. The guy behind Nip Tuck.

[John]

Yeah. Beautiful.

[Toledo]

It's kind of like the substance. Yeah, but in a TV show.

[John]

Magic elixir that keeps you young.

[Toledo]

Keeps you young. Ashton Kutcher's in it.

[John]

Is this real life final the way Brady. Gay, not gay. Playing golf. And I think I'm tired of this. It's time. We have to stop this. Dudes who bring Bluetooth speakers to listen to their songs while you're golfing. You can hear them on other holes.

[Byron]

Yeah, yeah.

[John]

And sitting on the tee box and the guys on the green behind us on Sunday and I just hear hurry, don't be late. Wait. I can hardly wait.

[Byron]

I said yacht rocks big on the golf course.

[John]

Turn around, me and Jordan are staring them we'll go dancing in the dark Walking through reminiscing Turn it the off.

[Brett Vesely]

So no Little River Band.

[John]

No Little River Band. You're four dudes. And then later, Ambrosia and Orleans, they were behind us all day. Day.

[Brett Vesely]

Did Ace show up too in the process too.

[John]

Look, I don't mind it this p.

[Byron]

I played yesterday and I heard Private Eyes.

[John]

Private Eyes by Holland O. Yeah. What's going on?

[Byron]

I'm telling the outrock seems to be the.

[John]

It's the gayest thing you can do. I'm not necessarily. Look, I don't want NWA going either. Or God forbid, country music. Yeah, that.

[Byron]

This is it.

[John]

Make no mistake, Bab. I don't know what it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's what you need to have cranked when you and Stes are driving around the Bronco and see what happens.

[John]

Yes. The Kenny Loggin starts everything now. I need to hear some Kenny Loggins bring it up to. No. Yeah, yeah, we got time.

[Byron]

We'll get you some Kenny Loggins.

[John]

All right. Is he up?

[Byron]

Yes.

[John]

All right, go ahead.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll start here. New rock from the Damn. Oh, they're still around.

[John]

This is.

[Brett Vesely]

See Emily play.

[John]

Is it good? I feel like I'm.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a cover of that Pink Floyd song.

[John]

Sounds like Schoolhouse Rocks.

[Brett Vesely]

That's Big Floyd.

[John]

Kind of. All right. Don't like it.

[Byron]

Next.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Oh, where's my mouse? There we go.

[John]

Your buddy Dave. The album is finally out.

[Brett Vesely]

This is Tipping Point.

[Byron]

No, again.

[John]

I wrote another song. You didn't like the one I released two weeks ago. Yeah, what was it called? Something Shredding the art of. No, it wasn't the art, but it was something like that Shredinator. Born to shred. Yeah, I think that's Metallica's ideas are mine. It must be being redheaded and named Dave that everybody's successful was your idea. I'm glad he's better from the cancer because now we can make fun of him again. Raining dead chickens, You chaotic bleed but at night you will die Smashed in your sleeve in the blackest night yeah, you buried the truth under layers of lies there's no return now you cross the line Cross the line. All right. He looks. He looks like my grandma always looked from age 38 on Poppy's back Who? I like Poppy.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, we see pictures of Poppy every month on our newsletter.

[John]

Poppy's fun. Plus, she's hot. Crawling around in the mud. Sounds like in this moment. Such a beautiful voice. Imagine waking up to that next record. I think a lot of guys can.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I bet in there.

[John]

We woke up to that.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, I know we're on short of time. So, Lamb of Gods new one Into Oblivion.

[Byron]

Remake.

[Toledo]

Didn't they do Oblivion?

[Brett Vesely]

No, that was Mastodon.

[John]

With Mastodon was Oblivion.

[Brett Vesely]

We played it.

[John]

Mama God's into it.

[Toledo]

They got him confused. Dexters are asking if you played Ocotillo.

[John]

Where the.

[Toledo]

Where you were inundated with yacht rock.

[John]

No talking stick.

[Toledo]

Okay, if that was you in front of us, I apologize, but that was us behind you.

[John]

It's a lot of you guys. What happened to men? Lamb of God screaming at you. They do that.

[Brett Vesely]

It's typical Amagon. All right, let's jump into some AI music.

[John]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

How about this one?

[John]

Oh, man, I don't think we can play that. All right, we'll go to the next. No, we can, because it's your cat. Smells like a dead catfish.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but it's not 1920s blues song.

[John]

Oh, I'm strolling down Main street in the human deep south driven Lime sticking to my seat sun beating down like a devil's on fire but what's that smell? Waffing higher and higher as ripe as a skunk in a barrel of gin Making my eyes water curling my grin I turn around the corner See a gal walking by A skirt swishing sweetly but lord, I could cry your like a dead catfish maybe flopping on the bayou shore Stinking of the joint like a week old trash which I can't take it no more Grab some soap and water, doll and give that thing a good old scrub oh, come on, cuz, if it reeks like riding them crawdads Ain't no man going to rub a dub dub oh, wash it down, rinse it out make it fresh as a daisy bloom or else we'll all be running from that funky perfume. All right, that's lovely. That's poetry.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, and then we got. Well, we got.

[Byron]

We got here.

[Brett Vesely]

We can do a disco song.

[John]

Gross nut in my butt.

[Brett Vesely]

Or we can go with.

[John]

Do you want to font. Oh, let's go with not. Do you want to follow my teas? We're such children. I love it. This is a disco kind of early 80s, late 70s things. That's like ABBA almost. Look at very pretty blonde lady from AI doctor sang Nut in My Butt. It's 9:51 on this Tuesday. My feel the heat I'm on a ball's heart racing. I want that fire make this moment last no holding back no need to rush Sliding slow Let the passion build I'm marching my back begging for your thrust Tonight's the night get me filled Here we go. Nothing. My butt. Oh, baby, please shoot it deep Scream on my knees Fill me up don't fool away Left in my butt. Yeah. Only today that's beautiful. That why we love that era.

[Brett Vesely]

That will bring us to N word or F Word. The game of the sweep of the nation. And today we have the Poison Clan.

[John]

Never heard of them. My one last action. I'm going strong. N word on this one. Angry Brady, you were the other winner. Yeah.

[Byron]

Poison Clan. I'll go F word. Hard F word.

[John]

Okay. Toledo.

[Toledo]

It's not going to be friendly, so I guess I'll go mfr.

[John]

Mfr. Here we go. There you go. I thought you should have missed it.

[Byron]

It was friendly.

[John]

Yeah, it was the friendly.

[Brett Vesely]

It was friendly.

[John]

Who had friendly? Nobody passes over to next week.

[Byron]

Wow.

[John]

Nice job, gang. I like that she had a little bit of a Swedish accent in my butt. Classy. The AI keeping it classy. But it is time that we put a moratorium on dudes playing yacht rock loudly in a gaggle of dudes. If you had like a men's group and I had the house party and we all came over and I was playing Little River Band.

[Byron]

Bring it on, bro.

[John]

I think the. I think the phrase would be like, who's got the ox here? Who's in control? Troll. Anyway. Hi. What? Is that it? All right. I'll get you. Calm down. Larry's giving me instructions. I'm sorry about that. There you go, everybody. Those are your hot release. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? I don't know what's going on. I just feel like I took like some sort of perpetual smile pill. Just a good day.

[Brett Vesely]

She's been taking all that cough syrup.

[John]

Drinking all that cough syrup. You know, I don't want to take you or your bags to the airport. It's. It's time for the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by our friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. I just told my friend Marty yesterday because he's got. Got his progressive glasses. Is that what they're called?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

He Looks up and down he goes. I get dizzy if I do that too fast, but I can't read this. And he was talking. I'm like, just go get new lenses put in. What? I could be blown away. And then I explained to him how once I got mine done, you get the eyeballs turned into LED lights. Everything gets so bright and vivid. If you've got glasses or contacts and you just don't have to wrestle with that anymore, Schwartz Laser Eye center will get you in and out of that lifestyle. My God, you can start seeing without all the crutches. If you broke your leg, you wouldn't want to crutch around for the rest of your life. That's what glasses are. They're sight crutches. Get them fixed, for crying out loud. And they can do it. Lasik. They've got all the options for you. And if you're tired of glasses and contacts, the only place to go is the place the suns and diamondbacks go.

[Byron]

There.

[John]

Teamidoc.com Schwartz laser eye Center, Brady Entertainment.

[Byron]

Here's a couple of movie facts that everyone gets. Remember strong, okay. There isn't a dead munchkin hanging in the background of the wizard of Oz. It's a bird.

[John]

Is it?

[Byron]

And you can see it move like a bird.

[John]

That's exactly what the people hiding dead munchkins from, you would say.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Byron]

In Titanic.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Jack could physically fit on the door, but it wouldn't have supported him. And Rose. The main point of the scene was Jack. Ex sacrifice.

[Brett Vesely]

She's a selfish broad.

[John]

Exactly. Knew her for 48 hours. Like, I'm not ready to kill myself to him. Come on.

[Byron]

John Travolta's briefcase. And Pulp Fiction does not have a secret meaning. Quentin Tarantino has said the glow is just for storytelling.

[John]

Yeah. It's a soul is what most people think. It's. You're selling your soul and he's the devil. He's representation. But that's just the depth of that movie is that you'll look that deep into what's in the briefcase and realize that Marcellus Wallace is the devil.

[Byron]

Devil.

[John]

And he's buying and selling souls.

[Byron]

George Lucas did not plan Star wars from the beginning. Darth Vader was not intended to be Luke's father when he first.

[John]

His name is Vader. It's German for father.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it is.

[John]

It's close. It's not the exact same thing, but, I mean, it was a dead giveaway.

[Byron]

Father.

[John]

Yeah. Immediately or death.

[Byron]

Father.

[John]

I don't know what it is. There's no Vader is like Vada is father.

[Brett Vesely]

No, he went out for smokes too.

[John]

You're I get what you for how many years? That's not funny, Brit. I went out for milk. Your insubordinates will be tolerated no further.

[Byron]

I like these top revelations as the Death Star.

[John]

Have a smoke. Yo. My Lord. Did you hear that? Did I hear what? That. That, sir. Right there. I don't hear it. It's driving us all crazy on the Death Star, sir. Well, then someone should do something about it. You have to do something, sir. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Brett Vesely]

Bring in the energizer, buddy.

[John]

You expect me to climb this ladder, go to that chirping thing. It's not going to happen.

[Brett Vesely]

These aren't the 9v you're looking for.

[John]

Oh, no, it's one of those little weird dime shaped ones. There's wires in here. They're all going to start going off and simultaneously. So we have to find the bad battery or just tolerate the sound.

[Brett Vesely]

Movie has a new meaning for me now.

[John]

And then. Then he leaves. Have to go now. I'm tired of talking about this to the hillcat. All right, that's enough of that. He says go home. Come on, hurry up. We've lost him. I'm done. It says SRT on the side of the Death Star. Now it's the Vader edition.

[Byron]

Heading to the dodge of A system.

[John]

Yeah, the plates say dkside Dickside. Anyway, you know, once you go to the dark side, you never come back. That may.

[Byron]

The Death Star.

[John]

Death Star. The Death Star Comedy Jam. All right, all right, put your hands together. Next comedian comes all the way from Andorra.

[Byron]

Ewoks be shopping.

[John]

People keep Ewoks in their house. White aliens are crazy. Keeping Ewoks inside the house. All right, that was good stuff, man. We should have guilt kill dark arth to kill Tony.

[Byron]

What you got?

[John]

All right, what you got? One minute player. I'm that's too good not to do.

[Byron]

Killed Chewy.

[John]

Killed Chewy is a good one. All right, you got him, man. All right, that's it. Let's get the hell out of here. 10:10 Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a glorious Tuesday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning. Take the seller. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock rich radio station ideas.