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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Brady Bogan
For the complete lineups.
John Holmberg
And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.
Brady Bogan
And tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too, and you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes I can to all the things you want to do and and all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core Institute.com college hoops are here.
Brett Vesely
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Brady Bogan
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Brett Vesely
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Brady Bogan
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Brett Vesely
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Brady Bogan
This offer is for game days only.
Brett Vesely
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Brady Bogan
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Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning five dollar bet and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sports book 21 plus and present in Arizona. First online real money wager only five dollar first deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel do gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 5, 3, 3, 4, 2. You thought that was funny?
Brady Bogan
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. That's right. Makes this. Legally. We got the Natty John legal. Hold on. Legally. Okay. To slap someone that says feels like a mundy. My name's John. There's Brady and his Ohio State Buckeyes gear. Congratulations. There's Brett. There's Toledo. We're off and running. This is the morning sickness. Brady is Ohio State Buckeyes are national champions. And again, because it's college football, Michigan giggles. And they can't. They can't not do it. Fine.
Brett Vesely
Number nine, Michigan.
Brady Bogan
You got nine of them. Let's see. You're still. That's pretty good.
John Holmberg
Did you watch that WWE last night?
Brady Bogan
I did not. I tried to. I tried a few minutes of watching. I tuned in somewhere around the end of the first half and I heard one of those horrible ban playing Bully by Shinedown and I started to laugh. So I left. I'm like, I can't take this. Went back into the third quarter and I heard Bully by Shinedown from one of the bands again. And then about eight minutes later, I heard Bully by Shinedown from the band. And then another three or four minutes went by and heard Bully from Shinedown. And I said, it's like a baby crying. I have to turn this off.
John Holmberg
It's the new Sloopy.
Brady Bogan
It's. It. I can't watch. I cannot watch.
Brett Vesely
Mixed in there, too.
Brady Bogan
I'm sure is in there. I didn't. I. I. It's. It's a baby crying. If you just had a baby crying on my shoulder during a college game, that would be. It would be better than listening to those horrible tootling sounds. Non stop cruddy band. Oh, it's the worst of marching band. And they won't stop every Bully by Shinedown. What? You're sending a little message about bullying in a football game. The whole purpose of it is to bully. Don't give me that. That's the worst thing you can play over and over and over. Anyway, congratulations. You got your championship. Awesome. That's good. Yeah, it is awesome. I'm sure you're enjoying it very much. That's nice. I. However, real football you may notice, I'm enjoying my I just saw trying Lamar Jackson shirt that I wear because nothing gives me greater joy than a Baltimore Ravens crushing defeat Nothing, no Steeler win, not the birth of any child or any nonsense like that would go besides it. Now, the day I met my wife. Now nothing, nothing gives me greater joy than a Baltimore Ravens crushing defeat. I have several of these shirts from my friend Jose Misa in different colors, and I'll be wearing them all week long. Crying Lamar Jackson. Which, by the way, not too bad. My design, nice work. I did a little AI work and then redesigned the AI work and then went back and did it again and again where his hands are over his ears because he doesn't want to hear everybody talking about he's just not the guy. And then this one is over his eyes. I have a couple of different variations. Triangle Mar Jackson is my favorite thing in the world by far. I could sell these to Bengals, Browns and Steeler fans like crazy. Oh, it's the best. The best. The dumbest.
Brett Vesely
I see the. The theme you're going with on this.
Brady Bogan
I have also, you know, thanks for distraction on that one, Brad, with that terrible joke, the theory of Lamar. And this is not because I'm being mean. He's the dumbest mother in the NFL. And that's not me saying that because I don't like him. He honestly is. He's the lowest scorer in the Wonderlic test currently playing in the NFL, which is a 13. Put your IQ around 81 to 83, you're seven points from a government helper. I love every second of that story. He scored a 13. Lowest score in the history of the Wonderlic test is a six by Vince Lamar. No question. Very athletic, very good. Still has not gotten past, you know, anything important. Oh, so it's just so. I'm so joyful at knowing that he hurts right now, knowing that his life is possibly something he's considering not going on with anymore. I love every second of it that he has to wake up today with no rings on his fingers and look in the mirror at that face.
Brett Vesely
See, I think you.
Brady Bogan
No, no, I'm not done. Stick that stupid diamond GR in his mouth. Just go. Today is another day for Lamar. And look at those. Those that ugly fit. Knowing he's dumb. Being told how dumb he is and walking through life knowing everybody looks at him, goes, can't win the big one. And he has to go to bed again tonight as Lamar Jackson. And that without football, would be awful. If you look at his face and try to imagine living a day with that face, how hard it has to be. And then he decides to shove diamonds in where his teeth go.
John Holmberg
Is that why you can't understand him.
Brady Bogan
No, no, no. That's because he's stupid. Oh, okay. That has nothing to do. Well, the diamonds don't help. Is already terrible grammar. I hate Lamar Jackson passionately.
Brett Vesely
And are those. That's his grill, right?
Brady Bogan
Those are pops. He pops those in. He pops them.
Brett Vesely
That's what I thought.
Brady Bogan
Puts that in for show. He thinks it makes him look better. But when you're that ugly, the only thing that makes you look better is a sack or a hood. Careful. It's true. Put it over his head. Anything.
John Holmberg
He don't wear that when he plays, does he? I don't watch.
Brady Bogan
He's got his diamonds.
Brett Vesely
I think with the Wonderlic results and all that, I don't think that really kicks him. I think he's just.
Brady Bogan
Oh, no, he doesn't know. He doesn't. He's not smart enough to know. You're absolutely right. He's not smart enough to know he's the dumbest man currently in football. And it's. That's not me saying that because I hate him. That's statistically proven out. There is no one with a lower IQ Football IQ test. The test that they give everybody who goes into the NFL. There's no one who scored lower than him currently playing in the NFL. Thirteen out of 50, you get five for your name. You got 10 from there. And that's not one point per question. It's graded on a scale of some sort of Wonderlic thing. I don't know what it is.
Dick Toledo
Hilarious.
Brady Bogan
But he gets to watch just like we do from here on out. And then somebody will have to sit and explain to him what's going on. I love it. I love every second of it. It's losses bring me so much more joy for people I don't like than wins for people I do when my Steelers win. That's great. The Buckeyes winning for you is great. You love it. I would like it if my Steelers won a championship, obviously, but mainly because it would make Lamar Jackson and the Ravens miserable because they've already lost. So I would have my crying Lamar jersey on. Ah, so good.
Brett Vesely
He'll be especially sad this year because I know wanted to win super bowl licks.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The lick super bowl would be nice, but he can't. He's got to watch like we do.
John Holmberg
Oh, poor Big Trust. Big Trust.
Brady Bogan
Big Trust. And then they. Oh, just, just, just soak in the joy of his misery. I really get a lot out of that. Shouten Freuder or whatever. Freudenshada I don't know what it is, but it's just something German and it's great. I love it. It's great, great thing yesterday. A great day all the way around. And I've got a request for everybody out there to start today. We'll get topics and things like that in just a second. But Our good friend TV's Doug Hopkins is shooting his 15 second Super bowl ad today and he has asked me for ideas and things. I'm like, 15 seconds, man, it's. You're gonna overshoot. You look stupid when you miss with the message. When you try for 15 seconds to throw a, like, you know, a Hail Mary. Funny.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And if it, if it thuds, it thuds hard. Because 15 seconds isn't enough to get a, you know, a premise to a, to a punchline. It's not enough. You have to be, you know, a fart or something. Ridiculously dumb slapstick would have to kick in and it's just not worth it to wreck your brand. So keep it simple. Stay on brand. Stay on brand. However, through email, through Facebook, through text, all that. I would like last minute ideas from all of you for Doug Hopkins filming his commercial today. I think it's, you know, and keep in mind not to, you're not going to, you're not going to get anywhere making fun of him. But like a good last second idea I got, I got again, my thing is I, I think a good one would be like hilarious and memorable. Is Doug Hopkins big Fred Flintstone face pressed up against the camera like, you know, a piece of glass. Like he's looking into your house with a little peaky hands around his eyes and he's pressed up against the glass and he just looks into the house and goes, some of these places are awful, some of them are beautiful. But no matter what, I want to buy it. And then he pulls back and he got that big Fred Flintstone head. But if he's, if you just see Doug Hopkins giant face in your television screen for about two seconds, looking back and forth like he's looking into your house, like he said. And maybe even fisheye lens it where it makes his head even bigger.
John Holmberg
Oh, man.
Brady Bogan
And he pulls back and said like he can see in your home, that's about as much of a joke as you can do in 15 seconds. Now that's just me thinking, if you have any ideas at all for Doug Hopkins, toss a bomb in there and let's see what we can get. And you can do it at homeburger98kupd.com, whatever else. And I'll tell you this also, if. If your idea gets used and I'll pass them on to the guy, we'll give you concert tickets to something you just kind of requested. So give us ideas.
Brett Vesely
It's kind of like on your idea, the little spin that'll look into the house. Or maybe an option where it's. It shows a picture of a house. I'll buy. It shows a picture of another house, and they're all different from.
Brady Bogan
But again, I'll buy it. There's eight, nine seconds right there. How do you get your doughns.com, then you. Your phone number, your jingles. Three, three. Three to four seconds. So you got to be fast with that because I'll buy it. I'll buy it. It's a good idea. If you had 30 to 60 seconds. We've gone through, you know, a thousand different things. Fifteen seconds is gone.
John Holmberg
Even cutting them here for some of the 15s.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, it's over. Some of the worst, because the second you say, hey, it's John from the morning sickness, you're down to message ending. And message ending is a sentence. So if you. You can't have that. We've gone through, like, tons of premise, premise, premise. Like, you can't have a premise. You can't have the premise. It has to be message. The message has to have the bomb in it and then move on. Don't you have the face? That's a dump. That's beautiful. I'll buy either house. I'll buy any house. I want to buy your house. I'm Doug Hopkins. Blah, blah, blah. You don't need any details. Doug Hopkins, you want to sell your house to me. Hope you're enjoying the game. Yada, yada. He's not allowed to say Super Bowl. He's not allowed to say, you know, either team names, NFL. I don't even know if he can say. It just says the game and that or the big game. I don't think you're allowed to say football. The NFL is just a bunch of dicks about this. And it's a local ad, so it's not tied back to the NFL before you can mention anything like that. So it's basically whoever's got the game is your fox. It's channel 10 selling their little pieces. And Doug got it, and he told me the price. I can't remember right off hand, but I remember I was like, that's not so terrible.
John Holmberg
How about, I spent more. More than five grand on this spot. So I got Money to buy your pad. Something like that.
Brady Bogan
I kind of like that. That's right. Hey, that's not bad. Write that down. Might get concerts. I think you might have just won. Or just go on TV and just say, there are only two genders and I want to buy your house from either one or something. You know, just bring that. I love it.
Brett Vesely
You could do like a 15 second, like, jardiance dance commercial.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Take once daily, Jardians. And I buy your house. Yeah, yeah. Get sued by Jardians. But it's worth it because people won't forget.
John Holmberg
I get the giant Indian on there with them and stuff like that.
Brady Bogan
Oh, I see.
John Holmberg
What?
Brady Bogan
I thought you meant like a cigar store. No, the big transvestite Indian. That. Yeah. Is that Jardiance or is that Big Tarvy? I think it's Big Tarvy. That's for aids.
John Holmberg
He's hitting everything.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. He's having a big Tarvy party. He's got a. You know, it looks like it starts.
Brett Vesely
Like it's a medical.
Brady Bogan
Hold on. Brett just stumbled onto something, maybe. Fantastic. Doug Hopkins standing in front of a crowd of people enjoying a football party, obviously, but no game is active. Like, you know, you see the streamers and the bowls of food, but everyone there is dressed as the opposite sex. Everyone is in is. Is like the big Tarvy commercial. Like, the men are in dresses, the women are in men's clothes. And Doug never. It's never mentioned for any reason whatsoever. I'm Doug Hopkins. I want to buy your house. And I don't care what it looks like. He's very old. What is going on in the Doug Hopkins commercial? All right, Doug, I hope you're listening to that one because that's gold, my man. That's a great one. How about Doug Hopkins does a Phoebe Cates out of the pool with his wet hair plugs. And then someone's in the bathroom and says, I want to buy your house. Knocks on the door. Does anybody knock anymore? Call 1-800-cell- now. Just run it. I like the idea of the Big Tarvy thing going on in the background. Doug stumbled into. He'll go into any house anytime he has. No. Doesn't care about what's going on. I like that because you know what? That's that thing like, is everyone there a man dressed in drag? And that way you can get all of his friends. I'll do it. To show up, be in the Super Bowl. He's got us. He's got our support. I like that a lot. That I like. Ooh, this one says. Narrator says, wow, you have you had this guy? Oh, this might be a AI. He did this so fast. That opening scene, a chaotic family dinner. Kids are screaming, food is flying. The camera zooms in on a frazzled mom with spaghetti in her hair. Narrator. Life got you feeling like this. Cut to a dad fixing a leaky pipe under a sink. Water sprays everywhere. And your house looking like that. Quick cut to a mailman delivering an eviction notice. Maybe it's time to let go. I think if you get an eviction notice, you're not. You don't own the house. Cut to Doug Hopkins, smiling confidently, holding a briefcase of cash in front of a pristine house. I'm Doug Hopkins, and I'll buy your house as is. No judgment, no hassle. Frazzled family cheering as Doug, handsome a stack of cash and drives off in his convertible, his hair whipping in the wind. Because sometimes burning it down isn't the best option. Run the jingle.
John Holmberg
That's a little more than 50.
Brady Bogan
That's a 60. Maybe Quentin Tarantino could direct your commercial, though. Not bad. That's not bad. If you've got a local, he's doing, like, an auction. The auctioneer just goes, sold to Doug Hopkins in the front row. And massive cheering. That's not bad. Have an auctioneer Doug Hopkins looking in a window and sees a diddy party going on there. Doesn't bother me. I'll still buy this house.
John Holmberg
Oh, man, that's good too. I like that.
Brady Bogan
Just baby oil everywhere, people dressed in white and Doug peering in windows. I'd still buy it. That's good stuff. Yeah. There's a Paula Proc says, what about a picture of the White House? And then John, you do your Trump voice going, I've got a little shanty I'd like to sell you Doug. And Doug would say, I'll buy that thing. I think somebody's done that. I think it might have been Doug that actually used to do that in this commercial. I don't care what your house looks like. This or this. And one of them was the White House. Oh, man. I really like Brett's idea of everyone in drag. I don't know why that gets me. Like, do slow dancing. Like just something really weird in the back. While Doug just delivers his message. I'm Doug Hopkins, and I will buy your house as is for cash. And does his thing. And then 50. But there's for no reason at all. He's in a room of transvestite slow dancing.
Brett Vesely
And then below.
Brady Bogan
Man, I like that one a ton. Something in the background going on that you're like, what? And then everyone would say, what was going on with the Doug Hopkins spot? No depression, no sickness, no side effects.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, no side effects.
Brady Bogan
Interesting. This one says, doug and a dude standing in a room talking in a disappointed manner. And the guy says, this house is too beat up. I think I'm just gonna have to try and sell it myself. And Doug looks at him in disbelief, slaps him to the ground. Doug stands there looking. The dude stands there looking at Doug in shock. Then a screen pops up with information along with the elevator music. He just hits a man. I don't think I can sell this thing. I'm gonna have to try it myself. Oh, this one says, zoom out of rubble piles in Los Angeles with sad music and say, yep, I'll buy it. Oh, man. Oh, no. I do like that, though. Oh, Doug Hopkins shows up at your neighbor's house. Just like the beginning of old school. I'm here for the gang bang, and I'd also like to buy this house. Can't put that on tv. A quick shot of a hockey team in a locker room and they're told their team's moving to Utah. And Doug pops in with a message, says, I'm Doug Hopkins and I'll buy all your houses. He tells the Coyotes from last year he'll pick up the. Don't worry about it. Oh, I like that. Have him on the phone in the beginning of the commercial going, it's been a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Epstein. Another house. I think you want to bring Mr. Epstein into the mix. You guys. You guys aren't shooting for those tickets anyway. Any house he'll buy, so you got to keep that in mind. A lot of people says, have Brady show up as. This is from Doug Hopkins. Have Brady show up as a woman and head over after the show. He'll do it. I'll tell you. He'll do it immediately after. You want my bald ass over there with some lipstick like that guy Biden hired to run the environmental stuff? I'll do it.
John Holmberg
We have Brady Gaga. I mean, you know, he can pull it off.
Brady Bogan
Nothing wrong with that. How about just Doug standing in a house, and in the background, Brady, as in just a full body leotard doing insane interpretive dance for no reason in the background. Never mentioned, never even brought up that Doug Hopkins will buy any house in any condition.
John Holmberg
Do the Brady and the goodbye to horses thing with the tuck and swinging around.
Brady Bogan
Yes, I'd buy me. I'd buy my house. I'd buy my house so hard. Yeah, Wells, all that stuff. I like it. That's again, you got it. If you wanted to get into James Gum's house, it's another minute ad. But I like that one where there's something in the back that makes everybody say, what was with the Doug Hopkins commercial? That's all you're looking for with the Super Bowl. Especially in that kind of timeline. The joke has to be in the background while the message is being delivered straight at you. A weird little man dressed as sort of a woman like figure that's dancing in the back. Kind of like if Sia gained a ton of weight. We just put that wig on you, across your eyes. You just spin and spin and spin and spin for 15 seconds. You're just spinning in the background over and with your arms out, swirling. A dress. What in the hell was that? And only us KUPD insiders would know. And we'd laugh and laugh and there is a lot of people coming in. Oh, how about that? TV screams this is a memory from before, when I was listening to Doug have relations in the other bedroom at the H and H Ranch. And I didn't realize that when he finishes, he screams, TV's Doug Hopkins, it's finished. And then actually, that's what I heard. His lady friend screaming as well, which was TV's Doug Hopkins. Oh, TV's Doug Hopkins. Pockets. I want to buy your house. You can't do this one. I'll even buy a house if Brittany Griners used your toilet.
John Holmberg
Oh.
Brady Bogan
This one. Very fast tempo. Cheerleaders scream out, give me a D. And Doug pops in and says, give me a D. A deed to your house. I'll buy any house. That's not bad. Or just how about gimme a D, I'll buy your house now with less perineum infections. I don't know if that's a thing there. Thanks though, Michael Donovan. No, I like this a lot. Oh, he said, Vince or Gary? RIP Gary. Remember Vince from last week? His wife was walking out with a suitcase guy standing there with a tear rolling down his cheek. And Doug comes, oh, that's not bad. The first shot is a guy crying in the door and a lady walking out with some suitcases. And Doug just puts his arm around him going, I gotcha. No matter why you need to get rid of your house, I'm here for you. That's not bad at all. Or your wife is leaving with another woman and it's clear as they hug and run away from the house. As a guy Standing in the door, just sobbing. She's gone, Doug. That's okay. I'll buy your house and make this easy. I like that. Have a house with a Kamala sign out front. Have Doug step in the frame and feel like it's time to move. Make it political. No, do a western theme where Doug rides up to a house and it's a teepee. And an Indian says, will you buy this? I'll buy any house. I don't think teepees are a good idea. I'm not sure Doug would buy a teepee.
John Holmberg
Hey, so don't buy anything.
Brady Bogan
Well, that's a house. I mean, it's like a tent. I don't see a lot of, like, you know, I don't see a lot of mobile.
Brett Vesely
Like, he doesn't buy mobile homes. I don't think.
Brady Bogan
Well, he'd buy a mobile home because that's an actual thing. Like Coventry. Yeah, because Coventry doesn't set up, like.
John Holmberg
If it's on land because then he can at least get around.
Brady Bogan
I'm talking about, like, it in a.
John Holmberg
Trailer park or something.
Brady Bogan
Right? Like, you don't have, like a. Yeah, trailer parks exist for trailers. There's no TP Park. Right. There's like, there's that hotel up there. They built those structures.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, yeah. They're not gonna buy.
Brady Bogan
I don't think he's buying it. If your house can break down and be packed in the back of a pickup truck. I don't think. And then, like, rebuilt, like, in seconds. Show stills from Brett's videos and stuff. Doug say, I don't care what went on in there, I'll buy this house. All right, we'll keep looking. Have Brady dance as the bumblebee girl from Blind Melon in the background. Getting Brady to put on skin tight clothes is kind of the goal here.
John Holmberg
How about Doug and Whiteface doing Furious Styles? And from Boys in the Hood.
Brady Bogan
First off, Doug's always in white face. Oh, my God. I like the Phoebe Cates idea of him popping out of a pool. That would be hot.
John Holmberg
Have Doug in spray tan and orange hair and say, I'll make your house great again.
Brady Bogan
Oh, well, that's not bad. That's right. Well, this one says, your house has a past. Let's give it a new future. Tying an old house to an updated new house. Sean, you took it seriously. That's not bad.
John Holmberg
Who does that on this show? I know what's going on here.
Brady Bogan
You says, what about Hopkins? I gotta stop reading these cold. What about Hopkins hiding in an attic and John dressed as Anne Franken, whispers, do you mean any condition? And Hopkins says, you know it. No, oddly enough, it's from a guy named Israel. Yeah, I know. Israel Montenegro has fired over that gem. Oh, my God, I do like that. And I would die laughing. I can't read this one, but I don't think you can use Anne Frank in your comedy ads. Still too soon. Doug Hopkins knocks on the door, and Brady answers, invites him inside. And Brady and his wife, who is a sex doll, is fairly, fairly gross. Doug says, clean it up a little bit and I'll buy it for sure. And the house, too. Sex doll. Oh, there you go. This is good, Ryan. Ryan Weber actually has a really good one. It says there's one thing people remember from a Super bowl commercial, and it's dogs. Dogs are a big one. Remember, Louie Moses has taught us that you throw puppies in there, and people can't have Doug sitting with a bunch of puppies from Lost, our home rescue running around, just saying, hi, I'm Doug Hopkins. I want to buy your house. Again, similar to the idea of our biktarvy thing, only a little bit more cuddly. Is Doug in a room of puppies. Adorable puppies. Just saying, hey, what puppies? That. I actually like that a lot. I'm going to print Ryan's out. That's going right over to Hopkins. That's a good idea. This one says a shot panning out from a mountainside or mountain. Cliffside adobe, and Doug shaking hands with a Mayan leader. Just a dude in a, like, a headdress and a skirt and an arrow. Doug just bought Montezuma's cast.
John Holmberg
Now they're bagging on shot. God damn it, Sean. We were all having fun. You got to come in serious.
Brady Bogan
Exactly. You come in and actually have an idea that up to that point, it was still just the best idea. Was Brady and tights or a bunch of transvestites. Then you show up with your logic and your, you know, fun crusher. Yeah, the dog's thing is solid. I kind of like that. Him and him and just a ton of puppies, like, in a pan of them, sit. I don't even know if Doug can do this, but he sits crisscross applesauce in the middle of a room. Just poppies devouring him. Bubble love bubbles popping off of the whole screen. He just says, I'm Doug Hopkins. I want to buy her.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, puppies.
Brady Bogan
Have Doug stand in front of Porkopou and go, whoop. Too late. But I still bought it some Crazy scene where Doug is in the background pounding a sold sign in the ground. See, that's the point of Doug Steel, though. He doesn't do signs. You don't need to with Doug. There's no signs.
Brett Vesely
Save you time.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, man, that's a lot. This guy's doing a whole setup. Animal House. Doug dressed as Oprah Winfrey, pointing at random people as goes, I'll buy your house and I'll buy your house. He's lost his mind. A lot of ideas here. I like that puppy one the most.
John Holmberg
Storyboard already.
Brady Bogan
There's Doug Hopkins face on jame gum as he talks. Penis in Goodbye horses, Goodbye houses. Too bad he didn't do this earlier. We could have sung that I I would your house so hard. Anyway, again, another person says, deb, send her to la. I'll still buy all these houses. They'll buy houses and stuff, but selling Jeffrey Dahmer's house? Yes, even you. How about I stand in front of Toledo's house and said, spent your last 35 bucks at the Lego store and can't make your mortgage. I'm Doug Hopkins, Toledo, and I'll buy your home. People remember everything Doug says. I buy tons of mobile homes. I'm sure you buy a lot of mobile homes. You wouldn't buy a teepee, though. Doug's not gonna buy a teepee. Anyway, we'll keep the ideas flowing. He's got till this afternoon. But I do think that that puppy idea is pretty solid. And if Doug, if you need those puppies, I think I got a place that can help out. He Mainsight will definitely do it. I also have. I got a few shelters we could call and get in touch with immediately and just have Doug sitting in puppy heaven. Oh, that's the Right there. People are just, oh, it's either transvestites or puppies these days. Case both of them will get you, like remembered little puppies with puppies. The phone number on blankets. Oh, yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
Caleb and Alan.
Brady Bogan
How about that? Doug's just in a wheelchair.
Brett Vesely
The whole thing.
Brady Bogan
I would buy a home for whatever. Please let me buy a home before it's too late.
John Holmberg
Oh, okay.
Brady Bogan
Cripples, transvestites, and puppies. Those are the three things you're never gonna forget.
John Holmberg
I like this one. How about pictures of Robert Fisher's home blowing up, saying, I'll even buy this house.
Brady Bogan
It's too late. 25 years ago. That's a good idea. Right now, too much explaining. Oh, my God. How about a commercial shot in front of a giant Catholic church, and I'll buy even his house. And then I have a sign in the back with a newspaper article that says, two priests convicted of molestation. Yeah, that's a great idea. That's not bad. When they want to stand in front of a church and they say, I'm Doug Hopkins and I'll buy any house, even his light shines down. Thanks, Doug. And like a Monty Python hand comes from the sky. That new jingle, he's got his gangbusters, but I try not to remember it because it'll stay in your head all day. They want to tag it on to the end of the things I do for Doug. I don't know. If I hear that, it's. I'll never think of anything else again.
John Holmberg
It's like learning a road tag. You know the jingle.
Brady Bogan
Oh, those guys are killers. I had lunch with Kevin on Friday. Kevin Rowe. And he said 977 or 9. My head just started singing the stupid jingle the whole time we're talking. All right, we'll get some more Hopkins ideas and ever keep those things. Oh, wait a minute. Old Billy Bakehouse is back. He just popped up. I could just stand on the screen and say, hey, everybody, I'm house, and this guy will buy your house. You could buy Billy Bakehouse. I'm house. I'll buy you. All right, we got some ideas out there. The puppies are solid. I really like the puppy idea. 15 seconds. You don't have much time. Puppies, the jingle, and Doug in the middle saying, I'm TV's Doug Hopkins and I want to buy your house in any condition. And I'll do it, too.
John Holmberg
Here's one for you. Unlike the offer the Cardinals made with Kyler, I'll make you one that's better for your future.
Brady Bogan
Make a good one. I'm not the Cardinals. I'll make. You can't even mention them. Damn it. Oh, man. David Vasquez is the devil. We know that already says, how about panning back from that group of trannies? And then a bomb blows the house up. You said, I don't even need to clean this up. I'll buy it. Like, no, you don't want to murder a bunch of people. Terrible ideas also happen.
John Holmberg
How about. How about I'm standing in front of the rubble in LA Sam Kennedy saying, Biden gave you 750. I'll give you five grand?
Brady Bogan
He's not just handing out five grand. Get the genie and Natasha involved. It was just Tasha. I don't know where they've gone. I miss them very much. Tasha and the genie. What do you need, Doug? The puppies are good. I like those a lot. So so far, that's the only one that I would actually pass on to Mr. Hopkins. I said, valid idea. All the rest are the Anne Frank idea. Although very funny, I do have to say I would. I'd drop out during that if that commercial came on. And the man and the. And the in the. And the ladies leaving a man at the door crying like, clearly a man being left. Please don't go. Don't leave me. What do I do in the house? I'll buy your house. What? I do kind of like that idea. And we'll have starring Dick Toledo as cuck at the door, sobbing, please don't go. That's a great idea. Actually, that one's not bad. This one says Doug. Doug says in the commercial, I'll buy your house no matter how ugly it is. And then just flash a picture of Lamar Jackson. Okay, maybe not that ugly. No, nothing's that ugly. Family surrounds a hospital bed. As grandma's heart monitor goes flat. Doug puffs and goes, where's her? I'll buy it. That's actually not bad either. It's terrible, but that's not bad. Well, this one's too hard. Says Jodi Aria showing up to buy a house. Oh, no. You move before it's too late. This is terrible murders. Yep. There's a few great ones. Some of you are awful. I don't mind the flatline granny. I really like the one where the guy's being abandoned by his wife. I don't ever want to talk to you again. What do I do at the house? Oh, I love that. Anyway, puppies. You have Dale Hellestra in the back.
Brett Vesely
You could do a timeline thing like that. Colonial house. Oh, buy your house. Because he's powder wig throughout time he's.
Brady Bogan
Been doing it ducks that old. You're just basically making thug ever forever, man. Just handing a guy a dollar.
Brett Vesely
Log cabin.
Brady Bogan
Anyway, I do love the puppy idea. Trannies is great. Puppies, trannies.
John Holmberg
Definitely an eye catcher.
Brady Bogan
Puppies and trannies and the ladies leaving the guy, and he just shows up like, in your time of need. Doug Hopkins is there, and somebody made.
John Holmberg
A political over on this one here.
Brady Bogan
Another one?
Brett Vesely
Well, kind of.
Brady Bogan
Let's see where it goes. It says, ice raid for deportation. I'll even buy that out. They're raiding a house and deporting a bunch of people. He would. That's one that I actually want to get behind that One I lived. When I was living in Arcadia, Brady and I were at the village playing racquetball and noticed all the. The comeuppance that was on Camelback Road. We couldn't figure out like 46 cop cars in Arcadia. And that's a beautiful area. This big giant house was 4, 600 square foot house right there on the corner off of like 45th. That would have been. And Camelback. What's going on? A couple days later, found out there were like 61,5000 people living in that house. 61 Mexican guys living in there. And the people next door had just built a balcony in their addition and finally moved back in. We're looking down in the backyard and they're like, anybody notice there's an awful lot of Mexicans over there? It's like, it just seems out of place. Eight, nine. Sure. 50, 60 on a regular basis. And there's no noise. Something's going on. Went in there. Just sleeping bags. They were working 24 hour shifts. This group would go to work from 12 to 7. The next group would go from like 7 to. To 8, you know, 7 to 7 or whatever it was. And they would shift out, sleep on these sleeping bags. And the whole place was packed full of them.
John Holmberg
The Chris Valenzuela's moved from Mesa to Arcadia.
Brady Bogan
Incredible. Yes. And they were all up and they had like two cars, Sushi. And no one noticed because until someone looked down in the backyard and saw just a slew of human beings. And they're like, there are too many. And nobody was coming and going. They get in the cars in the garage, and they both go. Whenever the cars were available, they'd take like 12 to 15 people per car. It was crazy that. It's a legendary story in the Arcadia area. Bottom line, they rustled him up, they got him out. Hopkins would have bought that house from whoever was renting it. Pretty great. All right, you people are all over this. I got way too many of you with ideas. This one says two people looking at a map with Doug. Somebody says, well, where do we start? Doug goes, doesn't matter. And then just a shot of all of them. Top of Camelback mount. We get Doug to hike Camelback and do the commercial from up there. That's not bad. Oh, man, I've gotta go. I got a lot of work to do. This is more than I thought. I thought we'd get like 10 or 12 ideas. Hundreds already. Puppies is the leader in the clubhouse. Transvestite's a close second. Ladies. Leaving the husband at first show. Show the show the shot of Saddam being found in that underground hideout. And then after it's cleared, Doug pops his head and goes, is this still available? I'll buy it. That's a lot of work. It's a lot of work.
John Holmberg
Doug in front of the Ted Kaczynski cabin. Yep. I'll even buy that one.
Brady Bogan
I'll buy it. I'll take it. How about in front of a group of down syndrome people doing things, and Doug pops in and says, I am down to buy your house. Yeah, that's a good idea. All we need is a group, a gaggle or murder of down syndrome people. Was that a parliament? I think it's a parliament of downs.
Brett Vesely
A covey.
Brady Bogan
Is it a covey? Okay, I was confused. I like the idea of the lady leaving the guy. So you seen this one?
John Holmberg
The old lady in the shoe that's up there?
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Behind on your child support. I got you.
Brady Bogan
I'll buy your house. All right. Anyway, Jesus. Thanks for the ideas. This is overkill. Now. At this point, we'll keep our ideas flowing. I'll throw a couple to Doug. The serious ones you get. You know, no idea is a bad idea. So just keep firing them off. A couple gems will pop up. I'll throw them his way. If Doug uses it, we'll give you tickets to a show of your choosing. How about that?
John Holmberg
I can't read you Thunder Horses, but I'll print it so you can read.
Brady Bogan
I'm not even interested in that Thunder Horse. What does he know about homeownership anyway? It's 623. Let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. Celebrate the day. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. Arizona's most powerful power rock radio station.
Dick Toledo
You thought that was funny?
Brady Bogan
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? There you go. Thank you. Miles to nowhere. There's another good one comes up. I like this one a lot. Doug cracks open a door. There I am in the yellow jumpsuit with the goggles on, making meth like Walter White. So I'll even buy this house like that. Because we could pull that one off real easy. No makeup needed. Give me a pair of wire glasses, and I can do it. I think that's a good idea. Again. Got to get a bounder. Got to get out. You know, Doug's got a few hours to pull this off. He does like the puppy idea. Doug texted me back. He goes, I Like the puppy thing, he goes, but I don't know if we're gonna be able to get that pulled off in the next couple hours.
John Holmberg
He's got to film it today, too.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, he's got to do everything today. I was actually going to have this idea thing last week, but didn't have, like, we got off on a couple tangents. And the next thing you know, I'm like, we're not gonna have five seconds for this. He said, could he have Sam coming.
Brett Vesely
Out of the shire?
Brady Bogan
Like, I'll buy again. You gotta build the shire. But yeah, say it. Miniature Sam. And is he still alive or is he passed? It's a little make a wish. Sam is just so close and his eagles are in. I hope he lives through this because it's. It's touch and go with Doug's friend Sam. It's so sad to hear him talk now because it's just so weak. Doug says I can probably do a puppy commercial with a giveaway of money for each home bought to a charity. That's what I was going to suggest. Somebody brought that up and said, you know, every house I buy, I'll give back to Lost her home or the Humane Society or whatever Doug chooses. Credible Stella, something like that. Great idea. Great idea. Because I'll tell you this. And it would be good for Doug, too. As we go on for Doug's business, he buys a lot of houses that have, let's say, cat problems. You know, a lot of times they have to take the cats to something else. There are a lot of cat houses out there. Not like that. Oh, and he'd buy a cat house too, by the way, if it's just. Just don't bring a black light to the. That's what the no inspections thing can get you in trouble with that black light situation. Anyway. All right. Tons of them. Just idea. Doug owes me a brand new email account because this thing is ridiculous. All right? And you all know BY now the 30 or 40 of you that have decided to do this, the World Trade center was not a house. It doesn't matter if Doug was not gonna buy the World Trade center for cash. No. So stop with the World Trade center ideas. Nicholas says. Any word on what Vince and his wife did this weekend? Nothing yet. I have not heard from Vince. The recap on last week. Where married since what? What do you say? Since the first. They got married right as the year started.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Found out they're pregnant a few days later. And then I believe on the 14th or 15th she said, I need some space. It's been two weeks. That whole forever thing, I didn't realize was only a fortnight in my mind. She needed to leave and then told him at the end of the week. She had a little dalliance with an ex boyfriend. As the pressure of marriage mounted. She had one last fling. He admitted too. I also did the same thing. Problem is, she raw dogged with her ex boyfriend and got pregnant and she's not sure if it's Vince's or the little escape for a day.
Brett Vesely
There's a little bit of concern.
Brady Bogan
So now they don't know what to do. And that was just like the Doug Hopkins commercials. And I don't think we want to intertwine these two things. People suggesting what he should do. Abort. Run for his life. You know, you run for your life and find out it's your baby. And then what? Now you're tagged to her anyway, so. So I still like the abort thing the most. But. So no. No update on Vince yet. And if I get one, I'll. It'll. That'll be our breaking news. We need one of those. Breaking news. Vince has emailed in, so hopefully Vince is keeping it together. Says, how about this? Greg? Says, my mom literally thinks her house is haunted after her boyfriend died of cancer. I can dress like a ghost and run around in the house and Doug can be dressed as a ghostbuster and goes, I'm buying it. Yeah, ghosts. He'd do anything.
Brett Vesely
Don't cross street.
John Holmberg
Not gonna be good. Running around in white sheets in the house.
Brady Bogan
That's a terrible idea.
John Holmberg
Come on.
Brady Bogan
And Doug looking at the guys in sheets going, I'd buy that.
Brett Vesely
You see, the ghost is riding on a horse.
Brady Bogan
It's gonna look great riding on a horse. And there's a flaming torch. No. Although I do like the haunted part. There's some. There's too much technicality there. The guy's got to do this in like a couple hours. But there's a lot of fun ideas here and most of them are horrible anyway. What are you going to do? Trump was inaugurated yesterday. That's everybody's big, big story. And a lot going on with that Melania. I thought I, I thought I picked that out of the. The minute I saw her walk out, I'm like, damn, she's a good looking woman moment. You just. She's a very handsome lady. She's got. She just striking. When she walked out, I initially, I got up real early and I don't know why and just turned it on. I'M like, oh, they're starting all right. It was dark and I think it was. I don't know. I was up until like three, and then I got up again about 6:30 and it was on already. It was like nine. I'm like, Jesus, not even light here yet. They're already starting this stuff. And she came out of wherever they were. Blair House, I think it was the White House guest house. That's another thing. Real quick. We as taxpayers, if Trump's going to get rid of some stuff, isn't the White House big enough to have a couple of guests in it? What's with the Blair House?
John Holmberg
Airbnb, that thing.
Brady Bogan
Let's get a couple money back, man.
Brett Vesely
They could make some money on the.
Brady Bogan
Other house we use when Trump can't go in. Look, I know Biden and Trump aren't best friends, but that thing's big enough that you could. I know plenty of people in marriages where one person sleeps on one side and on the other. And it's only like 1800 square feet. This White House, you stuff the Trumps in one end and the Bidens in the other and they won't see each other. We could save money on this other house we're paying for the Blair House.
Brett Vesely
Is it always occupied?
Brady Bogan
I think the vice president stays there a lot, but I don't know for sure. That doesn't need to happen either. Vice president can live in the other end of the White House. Let's renovate and things like 80,000 square feet. Get some residential up there for the vice president too. Put a divider in, make sure that they can't.
Brett Vesely
Got a hell of a basement.
Brady Bogan
No common walls. It's gotta have. Look, Bush, remember George Bush built a bowling alley in the bottom where the pool used to be. Is now like the White House briefing room. We can do Reno on this thing. Obama put in a basketball court. Shut up, Brad.
John Holmberg
It's true.
Brady Bogan
But yeah, the White House is 55,000 square feet, six floors.
John Holmberg
You have the vice president 32 rooms.
Brady Bogan
It's unnecessary to have how many baths a second house.
John Holmberg
Doesn't say that now.
Brady Bogan
They might do it in case the White House blows up. You can't have the vice president and president in there at the same time. But if the White House blows up, we get a bigger problem.
John Holmberg
35 ready, 35 bathrooms.
Brady Bogan
I don't know what's going on there.
Brett Vesely
And 16. So out of the 132 rooms, 16 are family guest rooms.
Brady Bogan
It's good to be back. I just wanted to let Everybody know it's great, Great idea, John. Get rid of the Blair. Get rid of that vice president's house. But I will say, have you seen J.D. vance? Have you seen him? He and his wife.
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Brady Bogan
Can't have him in the White House all the time with a common wall. The whole place will smell like curry. I don't want the house to smell like that. It's already bad enough trying to wash out the Kamala and she didn't even live there. It smells like ur applesauce right now. We're working on it. I can't imagine the mix of curry. And we're going to keep Blair house for a little while. Thanks though. But yeah, I just. So anyway, she pops out of Blair house in these and I don't notice women's shoes too often. This lady's shoes were 8, 9 inches long. She just gracefully walked out of there. I'm like, that is magnificent looking. They were be probably 10 or $15,000 shoes.
Brett Vesely
They were the heels.
Brady Bogan
Unreal. Just amazing. So, so I look and I'm like, oh, she's got the hamburglar's hat on. And then I giggled to myself. Next thing you know, the whole world thought the same thing. Like everybody saw the hamburglar and I'm like, I thought that was a unique thought in my own brain. Nope, that's how popular the hamburglar is. Is that it was. I don't remember the last time I.
John Holmberg
Thought about the hamburglar until you said that.
Brady Bogan
It is so ingrained. That was less about like, hey, that's my joke and more about the idea where I'm watching this thing and thinking. Everyone associates that hat with the hamburglar because we have been brainwashed by McDonald's with their imagery to not not see it. You see a hat like that hamburglar, our brains go right to it. Amazing.
Brett Vesely
That low profile hat was smart by her because it blocked every possible.
Brady Bogan
Every kiss. I love the kiss attempts. They were great. The other thing I was a little upset about with the. Before we get into like the meat of the bone, there's as Melania shoes like I mentioned were very tall and whatever. When Trump did his initial inauguration speech, which by the way, Trump fans may have loved. That is not. That's not an inaugural address. That was a victory lap. That was a braggadocious I'm gonna fix the world. And here's this guy to my. To my left is an asshole.
Brett Vesely
It was a roast.
Brady Bogan
No, it was a roast.
John Holmberg
But do you expect anything less?
Brady Bogan
I do from the inaugural. Somebody writes that he Wasn't off the cuff. So somebody writes that. And it's supposed to be, you know, quotes like ask not. But, you know, the country thing and the gleaming the light on the hill and the thousand. You know, you're always supposed to have a thing. His was basically me. God saved me so I could make America great again. So I'm like, don't say that. Because a guy died that day. Anybody who believes that God said, move. If God could stop the bullet from hitting him, why didn't he stop the sniper? Also, why did the firemen have to die? It doesn't make sense to bring your stupid God into say so. That made me nervous a little bit. I'm like, all right, let's not go down these roads. He went and did another speech down.
Brett Vesely
Did you feel better, though, that he didn't put his hand on the Bible or anything like that?
Brady Bogan
Well, he doesn't have to.
Brett Vesely
You don't have to. The first in a while that haven't.
Brady Bogan
JD does it. But anyway, he goes down the stairs from his inaugural address and gives this kind of off the cuff speech to a bunch of supporters. And that was on tv, too. And it was hilarious. Like, immediately the real Trump came out and like, that inaugural address was you cooling it. The next thing was hilarious. He goes down. He's like, just got done speaking to a group of people, a lot uglier. There's a much better looking and younger crowd. I saw that, and it was great. So then he starts.
Brett Vesely
That's the only one I saw that was great.
Brady Bogan
He starts to talk about Melania's shoes and how her feet are killing her. And she's such a trooper. Little later on, I'm watching, they're walking through this, like, dining area, and he stops to talk to someone and she pats him on the ass like, let's go. And so then she plops right down. They go to the next thing, Gives him a little tug on his hand. Let's go. Sits down. They go to this next speech he's got to give. There's one chair on the whole stage. She's in it. And I'm like, bitch, are you being inconvenienced by your husband being, you know, inaugurated as the. It's your bad decision to wear the stupid shoes. Yeah. Don't make it his problem.
Brett Vesely
Good point.
Brady Bogan
Capping him on the ass, like, let's go. You're wasting my time. I hurt.
Brett Vesely
Put the hokas on and put some.
Brady Bogan
Slippers on and quit acting like this is at all about you. Burgle. Burger burgle. Get over there and sit down and shut up. I've got presidentin to do. She had the nerve to give him a tap on the ass. Like, stop talking to that guy. My feet hurt. He's busy, lady. And you know, he had to call ahead, you know, in that. That in the beast on the drive from place to place. It is not my fault. You chose those shoes. You have to. I'm sorry. No. We have to go home. I cannot. I can't go home. You knew this when we started. You put those on and knew that.
Brett Vesely
Was the tear coming down from her face watching the Bidens go away in a helicopter. Oh, they're done.
Brady Bogan
Their day's over. He gets a nap. Another one. But, yeah, you can't. You can't do that and then have like him. All right. Can someone put a chair on the stage? My wife's feet hurt. He had to. Women, you do realize that you make everything about you.
John Holmberg
It's a typical broad move. It's not just her. It's everyone out there.
Brady Bogan
That made me uncomfortable, that made me feel good. That even he. Right.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Had after an hour and a half of a day that she knew was gonna last about 17 hours, she chose shoes that lasted an hour. And then made it his problem.
Brett Vesely
You're not making me feel special.
Brady Bogan
Right. And he made it his problem. Taps on the ass, pulling on his arm. Your feet hurt. Cause of you. Don't make it his pro. Solve your own problem. Oh, is he gonna talk to everybody? Yes. And guess what? You knew when the day started, jackass. But she did look hot. And that family of his. I'll tell you what, the best part, too, when he went through this one part. I loved yesterday so much. And I've never sat through as much as I sat through an inauguration. Stand up, Don Jr. Don Jr. What a guy. He's running this. He's doing that. He's got this going. Eric Trump, look at you. You're really. And my boy, Baron Barron, who knows just about everything there is to know about the young vote. We won that by a lot. And Barron was like, you got to do these pot. Go do Joe Rogan. Then we did, and Baron was right. He really gets the market. And Tiffany's got a baby. And that was it. Tiffany's, she's got a baby growing in her. That was her accomplishment, is that she got knocked up and she stood up and waved and sat back down like, God damn it. You've never done a thing, Tiffany. Not once. Except for take a Raw dog and get your ovaries hosed. Congratulations. She was first. Yeah. She shows like. Who's that?
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Brady Bogan
I mean, the accolades for in laws Jared Kushner. And that was the thing he did right before Tiffany. Jared Kushner, the husband of my great daughter. He negotiated the Lincoln Accord, which is a great big deal. It's a huge deal. Great negotiator. Great negotiator. We need more of that. And Tiffany has a baby in her belly, and that was it. All she's done is get pregnant. And I did watch most of it.
Brett Vesely
On msnbc, you know, when he came into the crowd. Young, beautiful, comparatives out there. And. Okay, yeah. And now five minutes is. Oh, my gosh, he's gonna go forever here.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. And. And Milani was sitting down, so maybe that's why he goes on.
Brett Vesely
Let her rest.
Brady Bogan
Because she's got to rest those feet. I got this. Don't worry about it. I'll stall, I'll stretch. Baby, I got you back. No problem. A lot of people say I talked too long, but it's. Ask Melania, she says it's not long enough. Melania, our first lady, Everybody loves her except for me. Kind of tired of her. Be honest with him. Tired of her. She put shoes on that made my day worse. I don't know how that happened. Out of somebody else's shoes. Make your day bad. That's working over here.
Brett Vesely
And you hear the news, you know, covering the both sides. It's kind of fun again to surf. But, you know, the big thing that was going on on Fox was the point that, oh, there he's walking the stage, pardoning people by 15 minutes.
Brady Bogan
He's signing executive orders as a show. People watched a man sign papers and cheered. And one of them he signed yesterday has got everybody going crazy, which is the official government recognition of only two gender. Now, that doesn't mean that across the board, you're not going to see non binary. Prefer not to say on the gender question. Yeah, right. So that's basically all it is, is on government things like your driver's license and whatever, you're either a biological man or a biological woman. You either got sperm or you got eggs. That's basically what it's come down to. I personally think that's just fine. That if you're good. And here's the other thing, if you're good enough at it, swap a ruin or dressing up as the other, you can check whatever you want, nobody's gonna know. But if you don't identify with either make something up because they said their argument yesterday and there was like, well this is transphobia and people are now going to be discriminated against because of it. I'm like, wouldn't it be easier for me if I was transphobic to discriminate against you on a piece of paper that said you weren't sure or preferred not to answer? It's harder for me to discriminate against you if I haven't seen you yet and you just mark male or female, I'm not gonna check. But if you wrote down prefer not to answer or non binary other or other, now I can discriminate against you if I'm so to me it's the opposite argument that if I was a trans I would want only two boxes because I know if I mark a third, if the guy hiring doesn't like that, he's just going to put me aside and I won't know why. And you can really actually check the box. Male come in dressed as a woman and if they don't hire you, then you're like, I know why you didn't do this. I know now you've actually got a case. It doesn't make sense to me. It's transphobic. They said and when we're being erased, that way we don't fall into binary face. It's violence towards the community. I don't. The thing that says the word identifies as will be off of all those things or prefer not to specify. It says of course we are worried that we'll see more violence in our schools or workplaces. Something that scares us is people will be scared back into the closet, forced back into the closet. I'm not understanding that argument at all. How does checking a box make somebody angrier to where they're going to be violent? Where if somebody's going to be violent, it's going to be because they're. They're looking at you, not because they saw your paperwork. Right.
Brett Vesely
Well, on your license you said you're mad.
Brady Bogan
You're fighting for this now I gotta and I gotta beat you up. I have no idea what you're. What you're checking boxes as if I'm a lunatic that's going to be violent towards someone because they, they're falling into my norms. It has nothing to do with you checking the box other and then I'm gonna go seek you out. It doesn't make sense because I yesterday I dealt with somebody who's in transition. They're fine. You know, I honestly don't know which direction it was coming from and which way it was going. I'm pretty sure it was a woman to a male, but it could have been a male to a woman. Here's the thing. Did a great job helping me out with what I needed, so I don't care. I have no idea, but I didn't. Where's your government paperwork so I can see what box you check so I know how I can react. You're trying to save yourself from lunatics that were gonna react no matter what. So to me, I think it saves violence. I'll hear other arguments, but I think it saves violence on a piece of paper when you just check one box and make it up. When's the last time you. Brett, when's the last time you went in and filled out a thing? It said gender male, and you clicked it, and then you had to go in another room and prove it. It.
John Holmberg
Yeah. No, that never happened yet.
Brady Bogan
Never, ever. So I understand that everybody wants their way and everything else, and you want to have this uniqueness about you, but guess what? None of you are that unique. Neither am I.
John Holmberg
It's not Crocodile Dundee. That's a shield, right?
Brady Bogan
Nobody's doing the check. And if somebody discriminates against you, there's already laws against that. It has nothing to do with which box you check. And by the way, break it down. You were born one or the other. Unless you weren't. And I know hermaphrodites are the only ones with that issue saying, I got both. And then they have to decide what they're gonna do. I don't hear a lot from hermaphrodites. I don't hear a lot of. I don't hear a lot of barking from them going, we actually have a beef that we don't get a checked box that just says hermaphrodite. Cause you know what? They'd rather not let people in on that. That's kind of their own little thing. If I had a vagina next to my balls and I looked exactly like I do now, I'd be like, nobody needs to know about that other thing. Male. Even though I could get pregnant. Male. Might shock the world someday, but male. So that was a big one. And everybody's losing their minds. I don't think anything comes of it. I think it's just anger for the sake of not getting your way. And your way doesn't seem to be benefiting or a lack of benefit. Just, you know, the world needs to be more accepting of people just being what they Are, and that's fine. But again, if you're an asshole in a dress and you're a man, I don't care if you're an asshole dressed. However you're dressed, it doesn't matter what box you check, you're just an asshole. We should have a thing that says asshole, not an asshole. How about that? And then you just look a little bit like an asshole today. I think I'm gonna knock this one out. I'm an asshole today. Anyway. People argue that it's not an act of transphobic practices, but a move to streamline the government process. Process. It's one less file, and I'm all for that. And it is a common sense thing, so I get it if you're trans. But again, you're part of, like, 0.10000,000%. There's a bit of adapting that. That needs to be. That's like, look, if you're. If you're a dude in a dress and you come in the room, then. I know. I've never once seen paperwork on anybody, so. But then the government will know. Government already knows. You know how the government knows? All those snapshots you take in your phone that you think they don't see. They see giant building they built up in Utah that's bigger than any other building in the world, and it happens to be underground, and it's just for storage of what we put on our phones. They know. I get it. And then the other stupid thing that I thought this was was really dumb. Changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America is just unnecessary. That is just a simple design of stupid. You want to streamline stuff, and then you do that and make work out of nothing. It doesn't. Nobody was. Nobody was ever upset that that was called Gulf of Mexico at all. Not at all. In fact, it's beautiful, from what I hear.
Brett Vesely
A little. You know, we found a little more.
Brady Bogan
Appealing Gulf of Mexico.
Brett Vesely
Almost like tropical in a way. Whereas Gulf of America changes it up.
Brady Bogan
Sounds like it's got trash floating.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, it sounds like it's an amusement park.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Because when I think America, I think Mexico. You know, sometimes I think of, like, mullet. I think of Brazil and all the crap at Central America. I don't want that. It just sounds like a. Like a. Like all of our garbage floated here. I like Gulf of Mexico, and I think Mexico's a down. But that sounds nice because it's my image of. That is nice. Gulf of America.
Brett Vesely
But we grew up with it. So in.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, well, maybe a new generation, but. And then changing Mount McKinley back is also kind of rude. But in fairness, that's not one we stole. The Russians did. We bought it from them. We didn't steal Alaska. Well, that's not on that. We didn't do that one. We bought it from the people who did steal it. And that's different. That isn't.
John Holmberg
Bought stolen merchandise.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, kind of, sort of. When the Russians like this belongs to us and we're running into a little financial problem, if Mr. Seward would be interested in. I buy your stolen property. What do you want? Just a few million dollars. Some rabbit pelts. You got it. You have to keep all the Eskimos. Not a problem. What's this bump called? Denali. Not anymore. It's nuts. McKinley now. All right, you got a deal there, Ruski. So that one, you can't sit back and go, oh, it's manifest destiny, and it swamped over the country. And we stole land from people who had it. Not really. The Russians already did it. We just bought it from them. That one doesn't count at all. Not even a little bit. Craig says, I was waiting to hear Trump say yesterday, no biological male will compete in sports against women. And he said, did that come up? It did. Not in that way. But by changing that box, it kind of starts that ball rolling to say, you can't have men and women's sports, which I'm all for. And I don't know what woman is fighting for that.
John Holmberg
I think they said he's signing more today, too, so who knows?
Brady Bogan
Last night. Today. It's bananas.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. And I was saying there are some. Both Biden and Trump were signing stuff before last week.
Brady Bogan
Well, the pardons. The pardons were huge. Yeah, that was a big one. But these. The executive order things that just like, we're gonna get these going today. And some of them are great. Some of them are terribly stupid. Gulf of America and Mount McKinley totally off the button. Zero priority to that at all. But here we go. I'm back, baby. And I got a lot of pens. Did you see him chucking pens at people, too? Doing like, who goes to the rally? He said, here's another one I'm signing. Getting rid of that old gender nonsense. Here's a pen. And he chucks it into the crowd because every bill gets a new pen. Those pens look awesome, by the way. And his signature. There's no way he's writing Donald John Trump. There are way too many letters in his signature. It takes him Forever to write Don Trump. I mean, it is a process and it's huge. I even googled his signature afterwards and I'm like, well, let me see if I can see what he's writing. The Donald comes up. I don't even think he puts John in there. And then Trump has like nine bumps in the middle of it. And it's just a five letter word. It's got 20 different letters in it. When he signs it, he just doesn't want to stop writing his own name. And then he puts the P on it. It's a huge ending.
Brett Vesely
Did you buy any Strump Bitcoin?
Brady Bogan
Oh, no. I heard that went gangbusters though. That's fine too.
John Holmberg
That's not like Docusign where you just click once and then just. There's your signature.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, you click on the little yellow dot.
John Holmberg
Completed.
Brady Bogan
Here we go. Done. Brett, if that was the case, I could sign 3, 400 things a day right now. I got a little carpal tunnel. I got to get Melania home because she wore snow boots. Yeah. Ladies, let this be a. Let Melania's Hamburglar outfit yesterday be a lesson to you. Your shoes. This is a great phrase. Your shoes are not my problem. That would be a title of a book I would write for saving marriages. Your shoes are not our issue. They say things that are horrible. Morning sickness. If you chose to wear stupid shoes because you thought they looked great, but you knew they were functionless, that's your fault. That's why in Las Vegas at 11:00 at night, women in slut dresses are always carrying their shoes. It's never if they look so great, but they only last 15 minutes. You have to think ahead of how stupid you're going to look carrying them around. Did you know where they don't look good in your hands? It's dumb. Be functional, you guys. You think we look hot in them and that. Yeah, but we think you look hot for a second because that's all it lasts. We don't want to hang out with you in those. The last thing I want is a pair of six inch heels sitting next to me and being my responsibility because all I'm gonna hear about is complaining.
Brett Vesely
It's supposed to be a night without complaining, right?
Brady Bogan
That's my gift. Oh, that's a. That's my birthday gift. Every year for the last.
John Holmberg
No complaining.
Brady Bogan
You have. You have the right to zip it on my birthday. Zero complaints. If you're cold, keep it to yourself. If you didn't like your dinner, shut your mouth.
John Holmberg
Does it work?
Brady Bogan
It's worked so far. Yeah, it's been nice. Occasionally a slip up. Which kind of is funny keeper. Then you realize. Then you realize, oh, you know how often. I'm sorry. Put on some reasonable goddamn shoes. Or how about this? Can we get one industrious broad out there that builds good looking shoes that are also comfortable. Can we get somebody out there who does this? Men force us to wear those shoes. No, we don't. We like looking at them for a second. The last thing we want to do is hang out with somebody in those shoes. We know you learn after the first time, but you said it the best.
John Holmberg
Even the president goes through what we go through.
Brady Bogan
Exactly. It made me feel good that on his. That's a huge day for someone, especially somebody who had such a resurrection politically that this, this is history. He's one of two in the. In the history of our country that has been demolished and rebuilt in the same group. Like a lot of guys have fallen off and come back. This is a place you don't do that. And there he was. And she decided to wear shoes that made a. So he had to be. He had to think about it. Bring a second box. Put it in the car. Let those puppies breathe. Stop calling ahead for chairs because you decided. Because you're a fashionista. I didn't see anybody else complaining.
Brett Vesely
I wonder what time she did the Irish Fade.
Brady Bogan
She was there last night dancing with us. Yeah, I flipped over during the Shinedown concert. That was on in between. They were playing some football. But when they played bully 177 times during the championship game, I couldn't take it. Flipped over and there they are at some ball doing a dance.
John Holmberg
Was she wearing flip flops by that point?
Brady Bogan
She was in a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top. I'm done. I'm. I'm done. Donald, this is ridiculous. Jeremy says your lack of preparation does not constitute an emergency for me. Exactly.
John Holmberg
Said every man ever.
Brady Bogan
Exactly. You know, she's not an attractive person, but I noticed Joe Biden shoes were orthotic. And not one little peep out of her. She walked over with Joe. She stood next to him. But Melania's shoes up, shape ups on John. I have a question for you. Who's faster in nine inch heels? Melania, Michael Phelps or a manatee? What's Brady's take that's true? I don't know. I would imagine that we'd get the manatee and the milani on the same shoes. Those shoes are not our fault. Ladies not at all. They're your fault. You deal with it. And you know what we'd love to hear? Tap us on the shoulder and go, I've made a terrible decision. I take full responsibility for this. These shoes are killing me. What's the best option for me to make it so you're not embarrassed right now? Could you imagine how hard you'd get if personal responsibility came with those shoes? For a second, you'd be like, you know what? Go have a seat. Totally understand. I'll be right behind you. I just got to take care of some stuff.
John Holmberg
As Kurt Vesley would say, wish in one hand s in the other and see which one gets filled up faster.
Brady Bogan
There's also that.
John Holmberg
Yes.
Brady Bogan
It'S hilarious. But your shoes aren't our issue, ma'am. But they lose their minds over it. Broads drives you nuts. And they do look good. But let me tell you this, ladies. Every time you come out of the bag, first lady. Oh, my God, is that Melania Naked? God damn, that's back in the day, but still.
John Holmberg
Nice kill.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's great. Look how glazed she is. You're welcome. Very shiny. That's because of me. But the. When you come out of the bedroom and you're in the heels, we're like, baboo, that looks great. Now, what we as men have done wrong in years is say that. That it looks good. Those are amazing. Instead of saying, those shoes are stupid. What? I just needed $4,000. I don't know. They're stupid. And maybe we do think they look great because we're visual, but we need to be more honest about, like, those are gonna ruin my night. We need to be smarter ourselves. Those shoes may look good now. They're gonna ruin my night. I'll just take them off. I don't wanna walk around with you with circle K feet dressed like a million bucks. There's nothing about you, you know, walking around barefoot for the rest of the night.
Brett Vesely
They're gonna ruin orange night.
Brady Bogan
My night. Something's probably going to ruin her night anyway. My night is definitely going south with those shoes. How about this? Bring those shoes with, and when we come back to the house, hike your skirt up and put those things back on and walk back in. Now, those shoes serve a purpose. You walking around the rah rah room in those 1012 steps. Trust me, when I dressed as Tina Turner for the night of the Singing Dead, I had four inch heels. I wore them the day before. This is not so bad. I can do this. Clunking around for A little while, calves started to burn a little bit. About an hour and a half in, I took them off. All right, I got this, I can do hour. So next day, and I got warned by ladies, do not pre wear them. Like, I didn't know that. Put them on the next day, and it was like somebody just said, oh, you want to do this again? You might as well take a sledgehammer to the top of my foot, crushed it, put it in. I lasted about 13 minutes, could not keep them on. I was gonna die. So I took them off. And I swear to you, for two months, my fourth toe and pinky toe were dead numb. I'm not kidding. It was at least 60 days before the full feeling came back. So they cram into this little point at the bottom. It was pointless. Ruined my night. But at least I didn't say, you know whose fault this is. The person I'm with. I put my foot in that shoe. I made that decision. I screwed my own night up. Will one of you ladies invent a shoe that looks good and is functional, please? Because if you say you're doing it for us, we're not interested anymore. It's not that great. Take a picture in them. Fantastic. These are not for ambulatory purposes. Once you have to start walking around, take those off, put on some pennies, do something nice. Enough with your stupid shoes.
John Holmberg
Donovan just wrote in. Brett, Jesus Christ. Call 91 1. John is having a stroke or something because he thinks a woman's gonna take personal responsibility. What's happening to him?
Brady Bogan
I'm with you, Donovan. All I said was, wouldn't it be nice? I didn't actually think it was possible. Look, I. I can think and dream of unicorns. I know they're not real, but yeah, put some shoes and do not. I was mad at Melania, as hot as she looked. That Trump family, it's a good looking group. And Baron is what, seven five, seven, six, Sean Bradley. I mean, he's Sean Bradley. I agree. Someday he's going to be our gigantic president, whether we like it or not, being president. Now listen, the other thing I really enjoyed yesterday was the golf cart driven by a woman that almost killed Ryan Day, coach of Ohio State Buckeyes, because she ran right into a wall for no reason at all. Like the wall was. Like she was Wiley Coyote and she thought a tunnel was there. Crushed it, nearly killed. Nearly killed the coach. And I'm sure the second she did it, one of those two cruddy bands started playing Bully by Shinedown because they couldn't stop. I think they went for the record. Did Guinness watch the game last night and say, you've got it. Okay, we got to get Bully out a few more times. The worst. The worst. Outside of that. Sorry to all the Lions fans out there. That can't be easy. All the years and years and years of not even being close. And this year you've got what is arguably one of the best teams I've watched play football in a long time as far as entertainment and fun. And you look like you're on the right track. And you get dropped by a rookie quarterback on a team that won four games last year. Oh, that's bad. You're becoming the successful Browns. Ouch. And you're going to lose your coach. And again, as everybody says it, my friend Jordan, who I'm sure is out there right now, the Chiefs fan, man, you can sit and root for all these other teams to go, and the Bills are looking good and this and that. Meanwhile, there's a wink and a nod in Kansas City. It's like, we got this. Don't you worry about it.
John Holmberg
It's a wink from Goodell.
Brady Bogan
He just went. Now, again, Chiefs fans, you got to be honest with yourselves. There was a couple of you probably would have won the game anyway, but there was a couple little moments in there where you're like, thank God we're the ones with Mahomes, because every other team in the league bitches and cries if a flag gets thrown on that call. Other than Chiefs fans, Chiefs fans are the only ones that kind of put their hands over their eyes and said, seems like a penalty to me. The rest of the world said, all right, that's taking advantage of the rule. They have got to get rid of the protect the quarterback rule. Once he's running, they have to. Because nothing about the slide or dropping down protects the quarterback at all. Because the dude coming at you, if you decide to slide late and we've seen it, Trevor Lawrence almost got his head taken off because of that protective move. If you told them, we're not going to protect you out there anymore, even if you slide, you're going to get hit. It's too fast. Game's too fast. We're asking too much of these guys on defense, they'd stop running. They would second guess the idea of like, well, I'll just run for a few feet and then slide. Nobody can hit me. They'd stop. It would be. The game would be more competitive. Mahomes is dancing around, making people miss and then realizes, oh, I'm going to get hit. And he just starts to fall down. Two Houston Texans hit each other in the head, and Patrick Mahomes got the call, and it kept the drive alive. So Chiefs fans, you know, you get a little bit of a benefit, a little bit of the Jordan rule, a little bit of the Brady rule, coming home, and, by the way, sort of earned it. But if you're looking at it right.
Brett Vesely
Now, it's starting to wear thin, though.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it's. Well, it always wears thin with the dynasty. When you start seeing not only are they good, they're getting the brakes.
Brett Vesely
All right, it's gone too far.
Brady Bogan
They'll beat you with. The thing about the Patriots that always made me mad was, was they would have beat you without all the cheating and without all the refs breaks and without the tuck rule. And tuck rule's the only one they would have lost. But because they got those calls, you're like, well, Jesus, now you're playing two different groups. I don't think the Texans beat the Chiefs. But I also have to. You have to acknowledge as a Chiefs fan, oh, we got a couple of good ones there. And it's. You know, you can. Everyone argues that their team does, but there's certain times you're like, that was a bad call. We got a break. And you can't. You can't say that the players are dumb. They got to drop Patrick Mahomes. He did that about 10 times this year. Looked like he was going to run out of bounds and saw the defender back off just enough and then cuts for about five more. So you got to crush him. Anyway, Chiefs look like they're going to play the Bills in Kansas City. That's going to happen. And then don't know what everybody's going to be rooting like. I think this. Bill's team's got. I think the Chiefs just have that. That puppeteer. They've got it figured out or they can just kind of. We'll get through it. What do you want to do? You want to play a running game? Okay, we can do that. We'll see. I was looking forward to Bill's Lions Loser Bowl 1, because those are two teams that are just sad. And the Bills, for so many reasons, like being. Oh, my God. And then to have the Bills go in and play the Lions, who have been terrible since the inception, and have those two battle it out for the Lombardi to see who could eff it up first, that's essentially what it would be. I would watch that and be thrilled with it, but it's right around the corner. My pick right now is Eagles. Chiefs. Unless something goofy happens. That seems to be where we're headed again.
Brett Vesely
Does seem to be leaning that way.
Brady Bogan
That Eagles team is quietly just. And they're boring. They're just five huge dudes pushing you around all day while Saquon Barkley does whatever he wants. They're boring. But it's. It's what football is at this time of year. See who's stronger and who can push further down the field.
John Holmberg
What are the super bowl colors this year?
Brady Bogan
It's, like, bright. Well, it's New Orleans. I think. It's like a pink and a. They got like a pink and green. Kind of.
John Holmberg
All the conspiracy. People always say that, you know.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah.
Brett Vesely
That it has the team colors in there. I don't think it has. The closest one would be the Chiefs.
Brady Bogan
It's got a yellow and a pinkish red with kind of green and, like, flirty.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Get the whole New Orleans jazzy. What we're saying is it's ugly. It's New Orleans mishmash. Is it Chiefsy?
John Holmberg
It's more. There it is.
Brady Bogan
I'd see mostly Chiefs in that kind of reddish yellow.
John Holmberg
Green in there, though, too.
Brady Bogan
There's a little green, but not enough to be the dominant color to make you think Eagles.
John Holmberg
Well, that means, Bill, Chiefs are going to win.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah. It's. Yeah. Well, that's an easy pick.
Dick Toledo
Remember when you had us do our picks beginning of the year?
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
Browns. Cowboys.
Brady Bogan
Who said that?
John Holmberg
These are the four.
Dick Toledo
I didn't. I forgot to write who.
Brady Bogan
Weren't these the worst possible. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
The ones we would least like to see.
Brady Bogan
Browns. Cows. Browns.
Dick Toledo
Cowboys. Browns. Lions. Ravens. Cowboys.
Brady Bogan
That was me.
Dick Toledo
I put money on Chargers and Lions.
Brady Bogan
Lions.
Brett Vesely
That was mine.
Brady Bogan
Chargers. Lions.
Dick Toledo
And that was.
Brady Bogan
Wasn't bad.
Dick Toledo
The best odds was Ravens. Cowboys at plus 6,000.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. And I had that. Put a thousand bucks on that, too. And then the Cowboys decided to just pull their pants down and throw a Dioretta diarrhea bomb right in the center of the star. Anyway, football. I just let you know, I don't care what happens. From here on, I'm wearing the shirt of dreams. Crying Lamar Jackson isn't in the super bowl. And that's all I care about. Sad Harbaughs and crying Lamar Jackson. There's nothing better. You get orphans whose parents were just blown up in some Ukrainian missile attack, and you pull them out and they're like, I will never see my family again. Like, let me show you Something here real quick. This is. This is sad. John Harbaugh. Like, I told you you'd be okay, little fella. Come on. I still think of my mother, though, bleeding out in the kitchen from the bum. Let me show you something else. This is Lamar Jackson sad after a loss. Okay? Everything will be fine. Yep. You can find family members all diced up, and just watch one video of Lamar Jackson crying at the end of a game, and suddenly joy shows up. He's. He's. He radiates joy with his anger and his misery, and I couldn't be happier about it. And right now, I don't care. At least, like, with the four teams left, I don't care who wins. I don't have any. Like, I don't despise any of the four teams left. I don't care. I honestly just don't care. It would be nice if somebody other than the Chiefs won, but if they want, it's because they deserve it. They're not a hateable dynasty. They're not a team you look at, like, the Patriots. Like, they kind of seem to have earned this in a weird way with. And again.
Brett Vesely
But I was saying over the week, I mean, it. It's turned a little bit. You heard more people.
Brady Bogan
No, they're bored with it. That happens with every team that wins.
Brett Vesely
Starting to go away.
Dick Toledo
And that's, like, you said it with the Patriots, though.
Brady Bogan
But it's not even. It's not even the calls. It's just after a while, you're like, all right, enough of you. So you start to nitpick all the advantages.
Brett Vesely
You look for it.
Brady Bogan
But nobody hates the Chiefs outside of Chargers and Raiders fans and stuff in their division. Nobody looks at the Chiefs and just hates them. They're very likable. There's no, you know, Bill Belichick making you go, he's the worst person alive. Tom Brady is just running around with his supermodel wife.
Brett Vesely
Andy Reid is no Belichick.
Brady Bogan
No, he's great. He's. Do you think Belichick would have ever gone from Baruski?
Brett Vesely
Do.
Brady Bogan
I wouldn't have happened. He's. He's affable. He's likable. I don't want the Chief to constantly win, but if they're. If anybody's gonna make it, somebody who's, like, decent Mahomes seems fine. He's not a dick. Brady sort of was a dick. All the Patriots were sort of dick. And they also got caught several times massaging the system. The Chiefs haven't done that. If The. If the Chiefs end up with, you know, found out Andy Reid's tape and practices, and the league destroys all the tapes to protect. If you found that out, your opinion of this team would change. But. But they're not. They're just beating people. So we'll see. Football. It's going to be fun. I don't mind if the Bills beat the Chiefs, though. That would be fun, too. I think Josh Allen's another one who's kind of earned the right to be a superstar. Especially now that he made Lamar Jackson cry. That makes me. If you make Lamar Jackson cry, I might buy your jersey. It's great stuff. Oh, so happy. And you don't run into any Ravens fans that you'd ever want to be friends with anyway.
Dick Toledo
I don't think I've ever run into one.
Brady Bogan
You don't hang around with poor people. Yeah, there's no successful Ravens fan. Yuck. You're from Baltimore. You've made $10 in your entire life. Baltimore is a dump.
Brett Vesely
I've got one.
Brady Bogan
I changed the name of Baltimore back to the Gulf of Mexico.
John Holmberg
I know one.
Brett Vesely
They're season ticket holders.
Brady Bogan
Are they. Are they poor?
Brett Vesely
No, they own a couple dispensaries.
Dick Toledo
What member of the fraternity is this guy?
Brady Bogan
That's it. It Mark. So you know him. You're not like.
Brett Vesely
You're not Simmons.
Dick Toledo
Oh, not O Comer.
Brett Vesely
He was just junior high in high school.
Brady Bogan
Why do you call him Phoebes? Because he's feeble and poor. Yep. That is exactly why. From now on. And you're not friends with him. You have. You know him from.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I hear from him. Like I heard from last night.
Brady Bogan
Congratulations, Ohio State fan. That's great. And you should have text back a picture of Lamar Jackson and said you Phoebe's. I don't like Phoebe's. I know it already. He makes terrible decisions in life. He's probably wearing five inch heels right now.
Brett Vesely
He'd be six. Ten.
Brady Bogan
Woody. Good. Those guys don't live long. That makes me happy. Super tall people die early. Good. Yeah. Nobody likes Ravens fans. There isn't one. Who do you know that's a Ravens fan?
John Holmberg
This guy. The bar Mathia used to work at.
Brady Bogan
How much does he owe you?
John Holmberg
How much does he owe everybody that's a Ravens fan.
Brady Bogan
That's exactly what they are.
John Holmberg
Complete dick.
Brady Bogan
Yep. Of course they are. They're rap. Is he a dick?
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brady Bogan
I rest my case. You can't send me one Ravens fan. Like, this guy's awesome. You're going to love him. Like, really.
Dick Toledo
God, Damn it, John, you're right. I know 1.
Brady Bogan
1.
Dick Toledo
But I truly question his intelligence every time I'm around it.
Brady Bogan
Is it Lamar Jackson? Oh, man, you don't have to question. Yeah. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Yeah, it's. It's just. There's no such thing as a good Ravens fan. They're just all poor people who will borrow or steal from you. They're gross. They smell like crab meat and dirty, brackish water. You don't see a lot of Orioles fans that you're like pals with. It's a dirty place. It's a dirty place filled with dirty, filthy people. And supporting it is even worse. It's like, even pictures of Baltimore. You know, you see cities like. You know, just see Baltimore, like a skyline shot. You're like, yuck. I think the prettiest Baltimore ever looked is when that bridge got knocked down. Good. We're tearing some of it out. Good thinking. Yuck. So the Chiefs don't have that, and Kansas City's a dump, but it's not Baltimore bad. It at least has some moment. You could. You could spend a weekend in Kansas City. This place kind of sucks. That's about as far as you'll go. There's not a lot going on here. And people in Kansas City be like, here's two. You had the barbecue? Yeah, I've had the barbecue. I'm eating barbecue in front of you, and you're telling me there's more around the corner. I get it. You go to Power and Light. You've been down to Power and Light. You mean the Guy Fieri restaurant where there's. Yeah, they got barbecue. Of course they do. There's jazz place up the street. Yep, that sounds good. For what, an hour? Then what?
Brett Vesely
More barbecue.
Brady Bogan
Go get some barbecue. You hadn't been eating for about an hour. My theory when I was in Kansas City was that they haven't paid attention to the sidewalks, and the roots of the trees have ruined all their sidewalks. And then I saw the people who lived there, and I'm like, oh, no. It's just the sheer weight and mass of Kansas City that crush concrete. If they walk on the sidewalk, sidewalk doesn't stand a chance, but it's still better than Baltimore weight.
Brett Vesely
Equally like a table that.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, they need. Yeah, they need cushioning and maybe a gimbal under each square of sidewalk so it doesn't just shatter. So that's all you need to know. Anyway, happy Tuesday, everybody. And go, whoever. I don't care.
Brett Vesely
We got a Natty John this one.
Brady Bogan
Says, john, you're wrong. Everyone hates the Che. The Chiefs. We're over at Mahomes and Kelsey and all the BS calls. People hate the Chiefs. We're tired of it. But John, Baltimore is still better than Tucson. Well, yeah, I'm talking about American cities. Yeah, Baltimore still beats Tucson. I'm talking about cities in America. If you want to go worldwide, I can find some places worse than Baltimore. Keep it to the United, United States. Don't drag Tucson into this. Bert, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?
John Holmberg
Wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And like we've been talking about, it's. It's almost there. A couple more days, a brand new second location of Action Ride shops gonna be open right over there by the Hawes Trail over on Power and McDowell. But in the meantime, head on over to the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Got all the stuff to get you going. Skiing, snowboarding, and of course, hitting the trails. It's all at Action Rideshop. ActionRideshop.com is where you're gonna find it.
Brady Bogan
By the way, my friend Jordan, who is from Kansas City, emailed me and. Or text me and he's. I didn't know this. This is actually a great thing. Says Gulf of Mexico is gonna get changed. I didn't see this at all because there's been, you know, laws that have been passed so you're not allowed to drill for oil in the Gulf of Mexico. Ah, well, it all starts making sense now. I didn't know that. And then Jordan and all of his kindness. He's got bedside manner. He's a former doctor until he was drummed out of the industry, it says. That's what I read. Google it. Thanks, doc. Yeah. He's not allowed to be. I don't. I think he killed a bunch of people. He was a chiropractor. Remember Caleb from the Shriners? Oh, yeah. That was Jordan's patient. But he was healthy before Jordan adjusted him and now he's got brittle bone disease and he can't. People have to cross his legs for him. But he's a Chiefs fan, so we can give him trouble. He's riding high right now. What's on the big right on the list?
John Holmberg
You got Fear Factory, Static X, Dope, System of a Down, White Snake for John Sykes, who died. I saw that yesterday. Tool Bill Conti. Gonna fly now for Trump, Megadeth, Lamb of God, stp, Corn. Avenge the Hives. Walk, idiot. Walk for Biden and Madness. Our House for Doug Hopkins.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I like that. I don't want to say walk, idiot. Walk for Biden because you spelled Biden wrong and it makes us look dumb.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he would too. So it doesn't matter.
Brady Bogan
He probably couldn't write Great song. I don't let you pick it.
John Holmberg
Let's do that.
Brady Bogan
Walk, idiot, walk. I'm all fine. Good work. Doug Hopkins is also texting and says he's purchased two haunted houses that he knows of. Really? That's what he says. There's no such thing, but sure.
Brett Vesely
He was told.
Brady Bogan
Oh, by the way, Jordan, the doctor just texted in and said Caleb. So he's. Yeah, he's still bitter about the last.
John Holmberg
Bedside manner is his strong point.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, it's the reason he's doing real estate stuff now. That dude's funny. He's a very funny person. After he tried to kill Caleb, he just found a sense of humor and you can't beat him. It's pretty good. I didn't know that Gulf of Mexico, Gulf of America thing though. That makes sense. I always thought. And just say it though. Why. Why be. Why act like it's some sort of a, you know, a flag waving moment. Call it Gulf of America. You can Drew. That's pretty smart.
Brett Vesely
They don't include like and any other name you call it.
Brady Bogan
Right. Or longitude, latitude. I mean, they do that with everything. Like my will and trust is like it's. Everything's assumed like, you know, this is going to blah, blah, blah, and Brady will receive this property and anything else in this in the future. Any purchases that are not included in this by name are assumed in this. Like everything is.
Brett Vesely
Is.
Brady Bogan
Is covered. I mean, the bases are covered. That's Trajan. Maybe that's it. Maybe Trajan should have done the last executive order because those bases would have been covered no matter what you name it.
Brett Vesely
Which now brings up. It's a great question. What happens if that person changes their name?
Brady Bogan
Oh, geez. I don't know. Probably assumptions. I don't know. Yeah, like if you decided to change to Bodina Budge Arena.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And you're in my will as Brady Bogan or any assumed name. Just a DNA test. That's always the guy that you knew. I meant it said, does that mean we're going to drill up there in Denali also? Was that what that mountain was called for a while?
Brett Vesely
I don't know.
Brady Bogan
They changed the name of Mount McKinley to the original.
Brett Vesely
I think Denali's the National.
Brady Bogan
That is the big one. Yeah, but what's the name of that mountain up there in Alaska. They changed back to McKinley Denali. It's Denali.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brett Vesely
So it's the Denali National.
Dick Toledo
A few years ago, they changed it.
Brady Bogan
From McKinley to Denali. Yeah. And I didn't remember that. And I knew they did it, but I didn't care because I'm. I got my own problems. But does that mean we did we sign a thing that says we can't drill on Denali, and now it's Mount McKinley again, so we can blow it up. I just want to blow stuff up. What can't we blow up because of engines?
Brett Vesely
Frack it.
Brady Bogan
Denali. All right? The Eskimos will be mad. Call it Mount McKinley and we can blow it up again. Let's do it. We're going to blow up a lot of stuff. Remember when we said we couldn't drill on Fiestawa Peak? Well, it's Squaw Peak again. And drill, baby, drill. He did go on yesterday a little bit about strangling a guy, and I thought that was hilarious. You know, a lot of people said on Jan.6 that I reached forward and I tried to. I tried to fight the. So the security and the one guy, you know, like. I guess it's actually credit. I strangled one and then one who's got a neck the size of my torso. I evidently tried to take him down, too. So I guess it's a. People believe it. That's kind of credit to me, even though it never happened. Fiction. But he started to talk about after that story. But he was fantasizing about strangling a guy. And I could have done it, too, but it probably would have laid waste of Melania. Wasn't he bigger than me, do you think? Melania.
Brett Vesely
Melania calls me sir or something like that.
Brady Bogan
Whatever. She's mad. She calls me sir. That's not true. That's right. I made that up just now for laughs. But that's. She said. She looked at me and she said, sir. Because that's what she calls me. And she's mad. I'm kidding. I'm doing a whole bunch of jokes. It was a festive feeling yesterday. It was a. I'm sure if you're a trans person, you're probably not thinking that, but, I mean, how many of those am I talking to? But it did feel kind of like optimistic in its oddness. And maybe that's just because it was a crowd of sycophants and cheering. I mean, I don't know. Trans people probably sitting there going, yeah, sure, now I Gotta check male or female again, but that's okay. You'll be all right. Nobody's gonna discriminate against you because of your box. I mean, your lack of a box. I think Dr. Jordan still does that surgery at the days in, but he's not. If you want to go see him, he'll give you a box discount. Box, as he calls it. Let's do it. Walk, idiot, walk. Who's got it?
Dick Toledo
I got it.
Brady Bogan
All right. Ready to go. It's the hives. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Dick Toledo
You thought that was funny?
Brady Bogan
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? The other thing we didn't talk about yet, and we'll get to it right now. Jeff Bezos, you are. My God. You got your wife to show up to the inaugural presentation, and she forgot her shirt. She just had a hot lace bra on and a white coat, and she kept adjusting it, and there's a picture of Mark Zuckerberg right now throwing eyeballs down the front of her shirt. Because that's just not fair. You can freeze frame any guy's gonna look at that. She wanted him looked at. You can't wear a lace bra outside. It's a Seinfeld episode with the. The heir to the O. Henry fortune. She walking around with just a bra, and that's flaunting the norms of society. But she looks. Looked like she's. You know what she looked like? A girl that gets it. I'm dating a billionaire. I've got one job. I'm. I just. All I have to do is look the part, smile and laugh on time and just be engaging and nice. Hey, I. I'd have a set of cans put in better than hers and wear that bra everywhere. If Bezos wanted to date me. She's dating a billionaire, and she looks like it. Her job is to keep it tight because there's no chance she can compete with him. If she pulled her equal billion in, he'd have to do the same thing. He's pulling his weight with the billion. She's pulling her weight with. Holy cow, Keep it tight. Now she's getting a little weird with the lips. And that's one thing I think ladies, as they age, think makes them look younger. Speaking from a guy's perspective, bubble those lips up a little too much, you start looking crazy. Let me tell white women. This. This is a white woman thing. You know how white women. You know how you guys look at Mexican ladies, when they draw their eyebrows on and you start laughing at them, that's what everybody does to you. When you bubble your lips, we can see it. We know when you plump up lips unnaturally, we see it.
Brett Vesely
It.
Brady Bogan
And it makes you look like those crazy cholas that have those tattoos in the middle of their forehead that make them look perennially surprised.
Brett Vesely
Now, they got that. The lip balm, you can just do it.
Brady Bogan
That's supposed to, you know, that's like. That's like some sort of.
Brett Vesely
I get what it's called.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. It's like something that makes a lump or something. It's venom. And it makes you swell. Yeah.
Brett Vesely
You just put it on like chapstick and you swell.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that was pretty great. Another email that came in said, john, about the shoes. You couldn't be more right. You made a poor choice in shoes. That's not my problem. A guy says, here's another thing I'd like to put out there. And I say one thing at a time, but this is definitely on the list. You're the one who bought pants without pockets. I'm not holding anything for you. But I don't want lumps in my pants. Then you should have bought pants with pockets. It'll make my butt look lumpy. You already got me. You don't need to worry about your butt looking lumpy or unlumpy for anybody else. I know it's not lumpy, and that's all that should matter. But it isn't about you. I want everybody else to give me attention. Please hold my chapstick.
Dick Toledo
They've taken casual too far, too. As a guy who's taken many hits from women about wearing cargo shorts, your yoga pants are called saddlebags now.
Brady Bogan
That's right. Thank you, Richard. And you shouldn't wear cargo shorts anymore, but you still do. And that's brave. And I admire.
Dick Toledo
I'm committed. I'm 20 years in.
Brady Bogan
They're functional pants, and at a certain point, it isn't about how your ass looks in them. It's, do I have my keys in the right spot?
Dick Toledo
That wasn't the intention of your yoga pants stuffed down. Down the side of them.
Brady Bogan
Well, they. Well, you're arguing their side to where we have.
Dick Toledo
That's what I'm saying.
Brady Bogan
If you're going to use the argument against me, if you're going to have yoga pants, don't bring anything with you. I looked at Hillary Clinton yesterday walking up the thing, going into the rotunda to be part of that deal. Deal. And she's got A purse? Like what's in that? What do you need that for? That's a complete unnecessary accessory that's just going to be.
Dick Toledo
You know what's not in it?
Brady Bogan
Tampons.
Dick Toledo
Right.
Brady Bogan
I mean, it's that time of chat. No, I get it. What's in there? She doesn't need anything.
John Holmberg
Bill carry it?
Brady Bogan
Bill doesn't have to carry. Put it in one of yours. She wears those Dr. Evil costumes that she. She's got pockets.
Brett Vesely
She probably has ankle wraps in there.
Brady Bogan
She does. Hey, first off, she's not paying for a thing. Put the purse down. You're just making it a cumbersome thing. We gotta keep accessory your phone.
Dick Toledo
She's got Apple pay like we do.
Brady Bogan
Exactly. Put your phone in your front pocket. You need chapstick or lipstick. Put that in your other Nero jacket pocket.
John Holmberg
Yeah, those jitterbug phones aren't that big. I mean, you know, she probably had.
Brett Vesely
Lume in there and stuff.
Brady Bogan
If you're dressed. Look, she's. I would guess that she's free, sprayed and needs more. But even still, she's dressed like one of the waiters at Capitol Grill. They've got tons of little pouches and things and they don't have a purse. Put that down.
Brett Vesely
Wine opener.
Brady Bogan
Idiot. Walking around with your purse like that's a thing. It's time we started to point that out to ladies. Your purse is a dumpster. You don't need all that stuff. And if you're wearing coats like Hillary is. If I was Bill, I'd. You know, Bill's. Bill's got. He can't talk. He's gotten away with an awful lot. So he probably can't complain much without getting. He doesn't want to open up that can of worms. I know, I know I've been a jerk and whatever, but seriously, if you're gonna dress like a man, how come you have to have that purse? Because you can just put all that crap in your pockets. You got 40 pockets. I just borrowed Toledo's cargo shorts. You'd look just as bad. Hell, I'd probably still Toledo first.
Dick Toledo
Thanks, Bill.
Brady Bogan
No problem. You do have a better build than my wife.
Dick Toledo
Respect, I think.
Brady Bogan
But because I don't want to lose all my stuff, I keep her. You imagine me trying to start over. Now I'd have to run for something else. It'd be terrible. She would have my ass. So I keep her around. I look at her, walk out. Toughest job in America is mine. Every day I sit in the bedroom putting a pair of floor shines on my feet, and it comes out of the closet and says, how do I look? I mean, I got to keep a straight face. Oh, you look great. Is that one of my suits? Which purse? Belle, whatever you choose is gonna look stupid. I mean, fine. Walking around with a purse keeps their.
Brett Vesely
Bumps in it, huh? They're bumping in the.
Brady Bogan
Oh, you think they're doing Brady? I'm with you. Maybe they're drug addicts. Brady's. Brady's insinuating the Clinton's are drug addicts because he just hates the left so much. Lie about something crazy, like maybe Epstein pictures some P. Diddy. Anyway, but she's got 45 pockets in that gigantic men's suit she wears. She doesn't need a purse.
Dick Toledo
Hey, Chappelle said he was too ugly to go to a.
Brady Bogan
Exactly. How about that? How bad would it be to have Hillary go hold my chapstick? I don't want lumps in my ass. That's not chapstick, darling. I defrag it to you. Those lumps are natural. In fact, he might just add a good one. If she made you hold stuff because she didn't want to have her pants bubbling, that's why she wears those terrible suits. And I don't know what Kamala had on yesterday, but she looked like she was. You know, the poor kids that tried to keep up in the Michael Jackson era and then bought zipper coats that you could tell were from Marshalls? They only like, one or two zippers instead of, like, 15 mumbers, only it was. Yeah. Remember when Elmer Fudd jackets were all the rage?
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah.
Brady Bogan
And you could go get one, but some people came back with blue ones instead of the red and black. I was like, oh, your parents took you to Mervyn's instead of the goods store? Yeah, Kamala was. That was a tough one for her to choke down. I give her credit for not crying or just storming out, because that had to be rough.
John Holmberg
I've read that problem before.
Brady Bogan
That had to be. It's true. Anyway, I digress. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and then we say, brady Report it.
Brett Vesely
Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.
Brady Bogan
Hello, world. Hi.
Brett Vesely
Happy National Hugging Day.
Brady Bogan
Oh.
Brett Vesely
Okay, couple of baseless fun facts. Over the next decade, the following copyrighted works will enter the public domain. Oh, Popeye, Pluto, Donald Duck, King Kong. The original movie version.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
Brett Vesely
Superman, Daffy Duck, James Bond, Batman, Captain Marvel plus Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf and the others from the Hobbit.
Brady Bogan
So it's all the original versions.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Which is tough with Batman because they've redone it so often. So you'd have to go back to the very first version that you can now parody legally, like they did Winnie the Pooh. And. Yeah, they make those. Winnie blood and honey and all that. So they could do that now with all those characters you just mentioned. And you and I could write a movie and use them as characters without paying Disney or Marvel.
Dick Toledo
But isn't Winnie the Pooh newer than.
Brady Bogan
Like, Donald and all 75 years is all right. Is that what that says?
Brett Vesely
No, it doesn't say the years.
Brady Bogan
I think it's 75 years of.
Brett Vesely
I think that's right.
Brady Bogan
The patent on character. And then it becomes public.
Brett Vesely
I thought it was like a hundred originally, but maybe it could be.
Brady Bogan
I don't know. I may be wrong on the years, but I just know that after a certain amount of time you can't.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, some could redo that in 50 years. It's public domain or whatever, but I don't know.
Brady Bogan
But that means that you now all you gentle listeners can write a movie about Goofy in a porno. And Disney can't sue you as long as you use the original Goofy. Any iteration after, I think, resets that as the new thing.
Brett Vesely
Shakespeare invented the name Jessica in the Merchant of Venice.
Brady Bogan
Thanks, Bill.
Brett Vesely
In 1942, Manitoba Canada tried to promote the sale of war bonds by staging a fake Nazi invasion of Winnipeg.
Brady Bogan
Did it work? You mentioned somebody tried that today, by the way. The Nazis are attacking. They're up there in Maine. We need you to start donating some money to the war bond effort. And you do it. And then you find out it was all crap like, give me. Everybody asked for their money back.
Dick Toledo
I think that's a premise of a movie already.
Brady Bogan
It's a complete damnation. Should probably do some sort of fake Nazi invasion of Maine. No one's going to look.
Brett Vesely
There's only one country between Norway and North Korea.
Brady Bogan
Russia.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. It's gigantic. So Norway borders the northwest corner of Russia and North Korea borders the southwest corner.
Brady Bogan
Or that hot Russian girl that was in movies that was here for some reason. I don't remember why, but she told us about Russia. She was a Playmate of the year and stuff. She was promoting something that she goes, Russia has 11 or 12 times time zones.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God.
Brady Bogan
I know. You start doing the math on that, like, Jesus, thing is huge.
Brett Vesely
Yesterday was Blue Monday, which is the most depressing day of the year. In response to that, the Netherlands released a positivity campaign. We not to complaining for 30 days.
Brady Bogan
Hey, that's been my idea for years.
Brett Vesely
Person came up with the idea, says it's a way to shift your perspective from all the whining, moaning, and negativity.
Brady Bogan
That's great. It's like dry January, only it's more like C word January. That's a great day. I've been doing that for years. My gift. I don't want stuff. I'm a bad person to be friends or partners with because I end up buying my own gifts for myself. So birthdays are very difficult. I mean, you get me a Steelers thing, I'm not going to complain. I probably already have it. But if you get me another one, doubles are good, too. That's always safe. But for the most part, I don't want gifts. I want a day free of whining and bitching about anything. I don't want to hear anything bothering you at all. And it is a great gift, and I can do the same. I know I'm guilty of it, too, but it's a great gift to give someone, especially say, today, you will not hear me complain about a single thing.
Brett Vesely
Scientists have found a way to trick little kids to eat more vegetables, fruits and vegetables. Researchers In Germany spent 20 minutes reading kids fairy tales that involved magical fruits and veggies. The hero was either healed or saved by eating them. The vegetables and the fruits.
Brady Bogan
Sure.
Brett Vesely
After the story was done, they offered the kids a choice of four different snacks. Fruits, vegetables, cake, or cookies.
Brady Bogan
They took the veg.
Brett Vesely
Turned out they were more likely to choose the healthier options and not just right after they heard the story. It had a lasting effect. They said 80% of the kids were still eating more fruits and veggies weeks later.
Brady Bogan
Well, that's the whole. You realize that Popeye was a complete indoctrination machine for vegetable spinach. Yeah, that was it. They tried the worst one. So your parents would have it to be like, Popeye and eat your spinach. Like, I hate spinach. All right, well, let's try these. These are close to, like, green beans or something else. And it worked for a while. Like, I remember I was a little kid, my mom would be like, eat your spinach and then you try spinach. Nope. As an adult, I love spinach.
John Holmberg
Popeye's a lion.
Brady Bogan
Son of a bitch. Then I realized that Popeye was a corporate show for the spinach industry. History.
Brett Vesely
When someone says they need to use the bathroom, does it make you feel like, oh, you know what? I have to go?
Brady Bogan
No, because I'm not that dumb.
Brett Vesely
A new study.
Dick Toledo
Not women.
Brady Bogan
That's right.
Dick Toledo
Right.
Brett Vesely
There's a new study on contagious urination.
Brady Bogan
Great band name.
Brett Vesely
Researchers in Japan noticed chimpanzees do it if one chimp chimp's the other. Chimps nearby are more likely to go in quick succession.
Brady Bogan
But isn't that to mark the space?
Brett Vesely
Well, they watch the chimps. You ready?
Dick Toledo
Over market.
Brett Vesely
They watched 20 chimps for more than 600 hours at a zoo in Japan and tracked how often they peed within 60 seconds of each other. Turned out it happened a lot and social rank made a difference. They're even more likely to follow suit after a dominant chimp in the group peed.
Brady Bogan
But it's not contagious. It's some sort of a scent mask or mark.
John Holmberg
Like a dog, right?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. You'd have to be pretty suggestive to say hey Brett just had to pee and I didn't till he said so. Then I. Then I just basically like I'm going to kill just to see if that person will do it too.
Brett Vesely
There are two main theories are that all the collective urine might be to keep predators away. Like you said. Yeah, mark the territory. Or it just could be a bonding thing. They compared it to how people, especially women, sometimes go to the bathroom together. Broads in humans, we know that our decision to urinate is influenced by social context that lead to us to urinate simultaneously with others. They think chimps might do the same reason to promote social bonding.
Brady Bogan
Every time a hooker pees on me, I have to go. So it does. Kind of late. He's gonna hang around the hallway.
Dick Toledo
Oh, he's busy today.
Brady Bogan
Not that busy. I'm back, bitch. I can be everywhere and anywhere at once. I am numb. I'm omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. That's right. Omniscient, omniscient. I know it all to look it up.
Brett Vesely
19 year old kid from Wisconsin is facing charges after he tried to burn down his congressman's office. He told the cops it was because he was upset Tick Tock was going away. Yeah, it happened in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, early Sunday morning.
Dick Toledo
Where's that at?
Brett Vesely
About three hours after Tick Tock went dark. Fond du Lac I think is north of Milwaukee.
Brady Bogan
But nobody cares where Fond du Lac is. Why did you ask?
Brett Vesely
I mean really?
Dick Toledo
Yeah, somebody does.
Brady Bogan
What do we have a gas station in the 70s? Who cares where Fond du Lac is?
Brett Vesely
The office he torched belongs to Congressman Glenn Groffman. He's a Republican who's been outspoken about Tick Tock being a security threat. He co sponsored a bill to ban it on government devices in 2022. The fire started near back door and burned some of the vinyl siding. Cops knocked down the flames pretty quick.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, well, Tick Tock's back and you're all right.
Brett Vesely
It went down for.
Brady Bogan
You know.
Brett Vesely
I remember Kirby was saying something over the weekend. Hey, a couple of my friends text me, Tick Tock is down.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Coming back now. People under the age of 30 are scared of it.
Dick Toledo
30 is.
Brady Bogan
I'm sure Tick Tock is part of Kirby's life. She may be all over it. Yeah. She doesn't have them, but she'd notice.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Fap. That's all you need. Tick Tock's dumb fic. Fap's the way to go.
Brett Vesely
Two of our friends are on.
Brady Bogan
On fic. Fap.
Brett Vesely
Yep.
Brady Bogan
I don't think you know what fix is. Yeah, let's go with that one, buddy.
Dick Toledo
Red note.
Brett Vesely
Red note.
Dick Toledo
There it is.
Brady Bogan
No. They did it.
John Holmberg
I was gonna say, what are they teaching in Gilbert?
Brady Bogan
And I've seen them, and they're hot. I'll be in jail.
Brett Vesely
Well, now they are.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Check your kids phones for fic fap. And then ground them forever. Ever. No. Brady's kid. Brady. Just to clarify, Brady's daughter's friends are not on Fck. Fap. So stop looking and don't send us.
Dick Toledo
Whoever you find in Gilbert, man.
Brady Bogan
No, that's fine. That's fine.
Brett Vesely
Not if they're.
Brady Bogan
No, because we know they're not. Brady doesn't, but we do. So it's just fine if somebody wants to include the Gilbert town seal and shove that into their body somehow, like the mayor's gavel and. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Not that. Not like a seal. Like a horn place. What's wrong with you?
Brett Vesely
Well, they're playing horns.
Brady Bogan
No, no, no. There's no actual Gilbert seal, you idiot. No, no. I gotta talk to better people. That's like being a room of Ravens fans. How dumb are you?
Brett Vesely
Two people from Oregon were arrested over the weekend in the Palisades. They drove a fire truck from Portland, and they were representing them. What's the name of the park? In. In LA or not in la? In Portland. And they had radios. They were in fire gear.
Brady Bogan
Oh.
Brett Vesely
Discovered they stole the truck.
Dick Toledo
I imagine it has all that.
Brett Vesely
No, they bought the truck at auction.
Dick Toledo
Oh.
Brett Vesely
And they're trying to.
Brady Bogan
You could buy a fire truck.
Brett Vesely
Sure. Retired fire Trucks. Absolutely.
Brady Bogan
How come I don't see those in.
Dick Toledo
People'S drive at the Randall wanted to buy one.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you can buy them. And then there's a guy at the military assistance mission. He's got the barbecued fire truck. It's barbecue grills.
Brady Bogan
That's true. Yeah, but you can't like. I can. I can't just have that for my night out.
Brett Vesely
They claim they're from the room.
John Holmberg
I don't know. Can you imagine pulling up the state 44 and having a valet?
Brady Bogan
I can't rock the sirens though.
John Holmberg
No, no you can't. And I don't think you can use the lights either. Because the red and the blues, right? Yeah, but you can cruise around enough.
Brady Bogan
But I can own a fire truck.
Brett Vesely
Get a ladder truck.
Dick Toledo
Our vehicles go through comprehensive inspection and refurbishment process which includes current pump tests and aerial certification.
Brett Vesely
And most put the ladder up. Yeah, well most of the time these are people that have independent 19 fire. They need that equipment.
Brady Bogan
Right.
Brett Vesely
Like their own fire department farm or something.
Brady Bogan
I'm talking about.
John Holmberg
There you go.
Dick Toledo
The 85 foot platform.
Brady Bogan
John, what are we looking at? What's the territory?
Dick Toledo
5, 000 miles. How much is this contact for price?
Brady Bogan
Ah, that's good. That's. They don't even have a price price. Oh, I'd be hosing Brady all across the parking lot every day. This would be late 60s action going on for me with Brady just pushing him all over the streets. Stop hosing me off. Yikes.
John Holmberg
You can buy them on Facebook. Marketplace too.
Brett Vesely
What?
Dick Toledo
I don't know if I'd trust.
Brett Vesely
Whoa.
Dick Toledo
Prefer red or yellow? J, John.
Brady Bogan
I think I'm gonna go traditional red. Although the yellow is attractive. The red seems to. That's what I want. One of those atom 12 emergency paramedic fireman thing. She's got a bunch of storage in.
Brett Vesely
It that looks like. Like it's got a shot.
Dick Toledo
It's got a hose thing on the back.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. I want a fire truck.
Brett Vesely
Give me a nice used sucker in the world.
Brady Bogan
Are they hiding all these?
Dick Toledo
Well, apparently everywhere.
John Holmberg
You can buy one for 10 grand.
Dick Toledo
There you go. There's your price.
Brady Bogan
$10,000 for a full on fire truck?
John Holmberg
That's an old one, but I. I got it over here.
Dick Toledo
Let him pull it here. I'll. I'll get out.
Brady Bogan
That's a 135 foot ladder that thing had.
John Holmberg
There's a hundred foot ladder.
Brady Bogan
I want it. That's 10 grand.
Dick Toledo
That's a 79.
Brady Bogan
Oh, wow. Does it run?
John Holmberg
Says vehicles in good running condition. Body in great shape, but probably needs paint. Only 16,000 miles.
Brady Bogan
Orlando. Hello.
John Holmberg
Only 16,000 miles.
Brett Vesely
Ah.
Dick Toledo
How much fun would Shane.
Brady Bogan
$10,000. Do I have to go get it?
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, we would.
Brett Vesely
That's not what happened at the. There's a camp, the Lost Canyon Camp up in Flagstaff. They bought a fire truck truck and they had to drive it from like, I think it was Wisconsin.
Brady Bogan
Awesome.
Dick Toledo
Okay.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Cannonball Run. And you can sleep in it. Oh my Lord. I have seen my future and it is a fire truck. The bad thing would be driving right by accidents and stuff.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, just honking.
Brady Bogan
Not really. Fireman.
Dick Toledo
I need one of those bus signs. Not in service.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, not functional as fire truck. He drove right by our house, burned down. That son of a bitch. We have his license. Oh, that's. That jackass bought that fire truck. He drives it all over. I want that so bad.
John Holmberg
Oh, a buddy of. I just got text. Our buddy of ours just bought a fire truck at Bear Jackson a couple years ago too.
Brady Bogan
But. But how come I don't see them? Maybe I do.
John Holmberg
Probably in like parades and I mean, people aren't like driving them to Walmart or anything.
Brady Bogan
Why not?
Dick Toledo
I don't use it for.
Brady Bogan
I don't know, you. Imagine the parking. You just put it anywhere.
Dick Toledo
Well, I don't know if you.
Brady Bogan
Nobody's gonna question.
Brett Vesely
They are big for pool.
Dick Toledo
Hey, you parked in front of a fire hydra.
Brady Bogan
You're right.
Dick Toledo
Never mind.
Brady Bogan
You could do anything you wanted. Sidewalks, people's yards. They're a problem. There's about to be. Hang on a second. And they just run into the Walmart and you grab some soda and you come back.
Brett Vesely
So I think that couple was trying to get up there and fill that fire track up with.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, they're looting. Arch. Yeah. Shane Orlando. Just text me. Are you gonna try to talk me into painting a fire truck? Talk you into. Yes, that's your job. I'm paying you. Shane painted John's fire truck and it worked out real good.
John Holmberg
These things aren't that expensive. There's one for 15 now.
Brady Bogan
He's out there fighting fires. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
That's shocking.
Brady Bogan
I feel terrible though. I think deep down I think it's a good idea until I drive by an emergency and I just kind of keep going, going. Please help us. I don't know how to work it. I can just steer this thing and I'm barely good at that. Man, do I think that's an. It's the inner five year old in me. That's why I wanted a cyber truck. It looks like a toy I'd have played with when I was.
Dick Toledo
Here's one's a little pricier. 2001 models from Scottsdale. 75 grand pointing down for.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it's showing you.
Dick Toledo
The cab is up on it.
Brady Bogan
Oh man.
Brett Vesely
There's a lot of working on it.
Brady Bogan
Look at that. That's the one. Look at that.
Brett Vesely
Look at those AC units.
Brady Bogan
AC units. Look like you could live in that. Oh man. I'm checking out boys.
Dick Toledo
48,000 watt generator.
Brady Bogan
John bought that fire truck and disappeared.
Brett Vesely
There's your camper.
Brady Bogan
2001. It should be Toledo's. It's called the Salisbury Spartan, which was his nickname in high school. Wow.
Dick Toledo
Was operated in city of Chandler.
Brady Bogan
Man, oh man. All right. Get off of that. That's got me. I got too many bad ideas floating through my head and I might end up with. A fire truck.
Brett Vesely
Can be used as a crowd getter for events like Burning Man.
Brady Bogan
What they'll pay me to just show up to stuff. So that's what the Cyber truck was. It looked like a toy I'd have played with when I was little. So when I got it, I'm like this is great. And then they showed me the final.
Dick Toledo
When you got it, you got.
Brady Bogan
Well, no, I purchased. Not even got in it. Just started to see the numbers. Wait a minute.
Dick Toledo
Oh, you never even got in one?
Brady Bogan
No.
Dick Toledo
I thought you went.
Brady Bogan
Trust me, it was a toy I wanted to play with. There was nothing that thing could do that was going to disappoint me. Except for it's $136,000 before I started to like see it. Before delivery fees.
Dick Toledo
Oh, wow.
Brady Bogan
So it would have pushed about 150 by the time it was done. And I just can't justify anything close to that for a vehicle. That's goofy. Ten grand for a fire truck. That's reasonable.
Dick Toledo
People do pretty well in my neighborhood. There's three of them in our neighborhood.
Brady Bogan
Fire trucks.
Dick Toledo
The Cyber trucks. I'll look for the fire trucks though.
Brady Bogan
I haven't, you know, maybe some of the fire trucks that pass me I just assume are fire trucks from a fire station. It's just some dude going to the store.
Dick Toledo
That could be.
John Holmberg
Can you imagine if you rolled into your neighborhood with a fire truck? Troy and Michael would lose their housing.
Brady Bogan
My flaming neighbors.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Hoping the firemen are from the calendar are going to come out and everything.
Brady Bogan
And it's just you. What's up guys?
Dick Toledo
John, near U.S. house office, 71st and Maryland has one in the driveway. Are you sure that they don't just work for them.
Brady Bogan
Or they're constantly needing Narcan. Right. 71st Avenue in Maryland. It's probably just Narcan Deliveries, John.
Dick Toledo
The only thing you need is that water cannon on the top. That would be a dream, man.
Brady Bogan
Then I just go tie into a city fire hydrant and make it rain. This is too much. I can't have this much.
Brett Vesely
You know, you carry what I have. How big the tank is for the water storage? Titanium.
Dick Toledo
Not sure what this means, John. You think your neighbors would even give you the chance to use it? It's theirs the moment it parks in the cul de sac.
Brady Bogan
Why own everything that's in the cul de sac? Gay's got rights. They didn't get rights to all my stuff.
Brett Vesely
Anyway, I got a couple of pretty videos.
Brady Bogan
All right.
Brett Vesely
Oh, first one's a dude on a motorcycle. Slow motion. He's putting his foot out. It might be trail riding.
Brady Bogan
Oh, boy. Boy.
Dick Toledo
That's not a trail.
Brady Bogan
No, no. The road will let you know. He's got his foot down on the road, and he's. Oh, he lays it down, and there goes the leg in slow motion. Oh. And then a guy runs over it.
Brett Vesely
Those are dirt bikes.
Brady Bogan
Those are dirt bikes. But it doesn't look like they're on a dirt trail. I think they're on, like, a side road. That was just a terrible accident.
Dick Toledo
Leg is not supposed to go that direct.
Brady Bogan
And that's a great angle of the camera to put that on the back fender of your bike so you see everything thing when the driver gets run over.
Brett Vesely
Next one's a little snowboarding accident.
Brady Bogan
That's the end of it. And it's a red bull ramp. So he goes up onto the. On the rail. He just missed. He just missed his hit on the soul and just goes face under the earth. All right. That girl.
Dick Toledo
I thought I saw a ponytail on the back.
Brady Bogan
It could be a snowboarder.
Brett Vesely
Last one's where they're throwing their buddy with the. Using the blanket and tossing them up in the air.
Brady Bogan
And it is a terrible country because the men are in those weird outfits. Oh, they had them in the sheet. So it's one of those things where they have a sheet and a guy laying on it, and everybody tries to bounce him in the air, and the dude didn't want it. That might have been a punishment for, like, seeing a woman's ankles.
Brett Vesely
I think that's.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's how they punish him in that country.
Brett Vesely
That's originally what happened to our. The armless candy. Log into the limbless guy. Oh, it is coming out of that blanket numerous times.
Brady Bogan
I heard it's how John Sykes died. Yeah, you can't.
Dick Toledo
You hear different.
Brady Bogan
You see a woman's ankles in that country, and they put you on the. On the upside down trampoline and smash into the planet. Anyway, don't start this. People email us. Cybertruck's only 80 to 100,000 out. Yeah, they say that, and then you start adding a couple of things, and then the next thing you know, there's like, a delivery fee. It got up there fast. I think the end. The end price was 103. And then I got another thing says 128, 136 delivery feet. I'm like, what did I do different here that. It boosted it way up there. And then I'm like, why am I doing this? A hundred thousand dollars for a. I.
John Holmberg
Got a fire truck.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, get a fire truck. Get 10 of them.
Dick Toledo
Brady, I hesitate in texting this, but there is one in your neighborhood. Elliot and Wrecker, go find it.
Brett Vesely
A fire truck? Yes.
Brady Bogan
No kidding. Guy just owns a fire truck. Maybe I've been assuming too much. And there's a lot more fire trucks just doing as daily drivers. Who knew? All right, Bert, what do you got?
Dick Toledo
All right, John, I just see you and Brady pulling the Little Rascals fire.
Brady Bogan
Scene in your truck. And you know what? We would get in trouble, like trying to be heroes, and we'd get to something and make a fire 10 times worse.
Brett Vesely
We got it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Brady and I were first on scene in the Palisades. It was just a house fire, and we tried to help and didn't realize what we were doing. Turns out it was an oil fire, like a. In a pan. We were just shooting it all over the place.
John Holmberg
We'll start off with a train action here.
Brady Bogan
Oh, okay. Real train. Not like porn train.
Brett Vesely
No.
Brady Bogan
Oh. Guy crossing the tracks on a snowy day. It's the light and the. And it's telling you. It's got the flashy lights. It's telling. Oh, God. It just ate the whole front of the car. I think he's all right, though.
Dick Toledo
I think he might be okay, too.
Brady Bogan
Is there an after on this? Okay.
John Holmberg
Unfortunately, no Train.
Brady Bogan
Just devastating.
Dick Toledo
What do you do as a.
Brett Vesely
He was lucky here.
Dick Toledo
You just got to radio that in, right? He's not stopping for, like, three more miles.
Brady Bogan
No, he can't stop. They just keep going. I just pretend it didn't happen. If I was the driver of a train, I didn't see Anything? No, I didn't notice. Yeah, tell somebody. Tell the passengers. Like, did we do that?
John Holmberg
This is the reason you hire a plumber.
Brady Bogan
We're in a. We're undoing some pvc. Oh, is that a tampon or something? Oh, the pipe broke in his face and it's all poop. Oh, God. Okay, first off, we're in a country that uses 1 inch plastic tubing for their. For their sewage.
John Holmberg
Well, curry goes right through you, so you're fine.
Brady Bogan
Oh, man, that's true. There's no solid chunks. Okay, so I guess that makes sense. Just use PVC pipe for your plumbing.
John Holmberg
Just same you use for your irrigation up front and outside.
Brady Bogan
Smaller than what I have for my sprinklers. But you're right, they're smaller people and their poo is all liquid.
Dick Toledo
John, we're only five months away, but that should give you plenty of time to plan. Can we skip the arcade cabinet for the man cave upgrade this year? Throw in a fire truck. I'll kick in on a GoFundMe to get that thing in there, talk to.
Brady Bogan
Meathead, and we'll see if we can do that. That's a good one. You're right. And there's no tampons. I think those people just free bleed.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, come on.
Brady Bogan
That's my guess about. I don't know that nation. But if you've got plastic PVC pipes for your sewage, you're not spending any money on stay free.
Dick Toledo
John, you do not want a fire truck, okay? What you want is an mrap. What's an mrap?
Brady Bogan
I don't know.
Dick Toledo
Somebody's gonna have to explain that to.
Brady Bogan
Are they for sale?
Dick Toledo
Yeah, I don't know.
Brady Bogan
Google it. Yeah. What else you got, Bert?
John Holmberg
Some baseball action for you. Probably one of the hardest collisions you've said. We might have seen something similar to this before.
Brady Bogan
Oh, first base, second baseman comes to cover the bag, and they collide face to face that number 11 is dead.
John Holmberg
Well, look at his.
Brett Vesely
Look at his arm.
John Holmberg
He's got the shakes.
Brady Bogan
Because one guy's moving and one's not. Look at this guy.
Dick Toledo
He's got the tua.
Brady Bogan
Oh, he's definitely doing gang signs. He's trying to get his glove off because I think his whole body's broken.
Dick Toledo
Well, they both have smashed cheeks.
Brady Bogan
Number 11 is dead.
John Holmberg
And then this one is. This is a new one. Haven't seen this one before.
Brady Bogan
We're being introduced to something brand new. All right. Oh, oh, wait a sec.
Brett Vesely
Through where?
Brady Bogan
What the. All right.
Dick Toledo
Okay.
Brady Bogan
Pigs in a blanket. All right, here's how it works. I know what this is. A lady with rather large labia has taken two clamps. C clamps really is what they are, kind of. Yeah. And she's pierced her. Her labia. Now she's taken her labia and tied each to the other other, leaving a tunnel like gap as a thing. And there is a man getting it done. He is now in like a pig in a blanket or those little hot dogs that are wrapped with croissants.
Dick Toledo
Interesting.
Brady Bogan
And yeah, she has large enough labia.
John Holmberg
See, if Vince's wife would have done this, it wouldn't have been a problem.
Brady Bogan
She wouldn't be pregnant. You should consider this method. So it's basically making fingers out of your lips.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And then tying them together.
Dick Toledo
I see. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
It's gripping and it works. This guy's enjoying the tar out of it. And evidently she'd get something out of that too, because it's rubbing on the bald man in the canoe.
John Holmberg
Yeah. So we'll just end there.
Brady Bogan
All right.
Dick Toledo
John, I want to make you happy. The only light you cannot flash is blue. Blue, red and white lights on your new fire truck. Go nuts.
Brady Bogan
Nobody knows that. I'm never gonna stop for another light in my life.
Brett Vesely
And then probably. No, the sound is fine then too.
Brady Bogan
Sirens might be a problem.
Dick Toledo
I don't know about that.
John Holmberg
Now they say you need a matte V instead of an mrap.
Brady Bogan
That's what's a lot better than an mrap.
Dick Toledo
I don't even know what he's classify all this stuff.
Brady Bogan
Look, 12 minutes ago I didn't know I wanted a firecracker. Now I know I do. I didn't know they were available to. I thought they just. Oh, blew them up.
John Holmberg
MRAP is the armored vehicles we had in Iraq.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, of course I want to, but that's going to cost more than 12 grand. And it doesn't have sirens.
Dick Toledo
Right.
John Holmberg
I can take IED explosions.
Brady Bogan
Apparently I don't need that.
John Holmberg
Well, if you're ever going to Marryville.
Brady Bogan
That's true. But why would I do that if I'm going to Maryvale, it's because I have an armored car. That's the only reason I'm going to Maryvale.
Dick Toledo
It's made to survive an ied, Right?
Brady Bogan
That's what he just said. Where were you? Did he not survive it? Is the explosion too loud anyway? Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want. Look, I'm not going to Maryvale, so I don't need an armored car.
Brett Vesely
John.
Dick Toledo
I know you don't like us, but can we start a truck club? Maybe Homburg's fire brigade? I'll try and get myself a fire truck and we'll join in.
Brady Bogan
What do you mean? I don't like, like you?
Dick Toledo
I don't know.
Brady Bogan
I don't want to join any clubs with anybody. But what does that mean?
Dick Toledo
Right.
Brady Bogan
You're right.
Dick Toledo
You don't like us.
Brady Bogan
Well, I don't like people who want to be in clubs together, so. He's got a point. Let's join a club. That's pretty cool. That's going to be a lot more than 12 grand. It's got a satellite on it. That thing's got DirecTV I. And I want that truck.
Dick Toledo
Those probably shouldn't be for sale on Craigslist.
Brady Bogan
No. It seems like that's kind of what a bad guy would use to do terrible stuff. Yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
Or just going home to Maryville.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, you're gonna. But again, I'm dodging that area now. Not because.
John Holmberg
But if you live there, you need one.
Brady Bogan
But the only. Sure, but you can't afford it. You can't sell a 1998 Impala and trade that in for them. It can't be done. You're stuck with drugs on a player. You're stuck with your whip. You're done. Oh, my God. It's 8:40.
Dick Toledo
They are for sale.
Brett Vesely
They modifying the Emirates wrapped to a civilian.
Brady Bogan
That's like an ugly SUV.
Brett Vesely
They're gonna be expensive.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's. That's $200,000. That's dumb.
Dick Toledo
This one's called the Peacekeeper.
Brady Bogan
Look at this thing. If I'm driving around in that, the cops should pull me over. Yeah, and question me for my next terrorist move.
Dick Toledo
But again, to use your fire truck argument. That over?
Brady Bogan
Oh, they're pulling that over.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they are.
Brady Bogan
That's a homemade nut bags car.
Brett Vesely
What'd you pull me over for?
Brady Bogan
Because you got a howitzer on your car, you jackass. And we can't shoot you, man. Not allowed to drive around in an armored vehicle with a halitar on the top. I thought we were in America. Whatever.
John Holmberg
Anyway, EM50 is one thing. That's ridiculous.
Brady Bogan
EM50 blended. Yes. There you go. That is your Brady report, everybody. It's 98 KUPD. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
Brett Vesely
What the hell is wrong with you?
Brady Bogan
Okay, you pd. Ouch. I'm sorry. I'm distracted because I have. I'll tell you about it in a second, but I have a real problem right now, and it's not good. Anyway, I'll tell you about this in a second. You're going to be real happy with also everybody who's sending me the pictures of Elon Musk doing the Nazi. So salute twice. Okay. No. Everybody can get caught waving or pointing at something at the perfect time with a picture. Make it look like you're doing a Nazi salute. There's countless amounts of times in your life that you've waved to someone and kept your hand up. And if somebody snapped a picture right as your elbow tightened.
Brett Vesely
No. Have you seen it?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I've seen it. And I know he's doing the thing. I know he knocked on his chest first and then did the thing. It was awkward. It was awkward. But he's doing a thing where he's kind of like doing a point point out. I don't think he's thinking Nazi now. If he is, I'm wrong.
Brett Vesely
But unfortunately, that's the first thing that comes to mind.
Brady Bogan
I have done this. Yeah. There is a photo of me in my mom's house where in a baseball game, I pat my chest and I remember that part, and I point to a guy who just made a play. Okay.
Brett Vesely
That's one thing.
Brady Bogan
It was that my hand is Nazi salute out. Like, you got it.
Brett Vesely
I thought it was a Star Trek, you know, salute, because they do that.
Brady Bogan
Whatever he was doing, we got a stop. This is the type of crap that causes the division in our country that makes people want to argue for or against whether or not Nazis rule the world. We got to stop. Hitler was a one off, a complete and absolute one off. If we start seeing it again, we'll know. Not everybody you don't like is Hitler. Now, keep in mind, all you people that think Trump is Hitler, okay? All the people that love Trump used to think Obama was Hitler. It's. It's. As I've aged in life, I realize that the opposition almost inevitably always calls the person they don't like the next Hitler. There's not going to be a next Hitler. At least in front of us like that. It's not going to be that obvious. I don't think. I think they're. Now, if Trump's like, we're going to change, you know, putting your hand over your heart to a big. Like his, we start looking at that. I think the signs are there. Until that happens. Stop it with that stuff. It was a goof. He might not have been thinking and give him A little grief. Same as Zuckerberg looking down Lauren Sanchez's shirt. It was a perfect moment for the photograph where you're, like, crying. Jordan. It becomes a meme. And I'm sure it's going to be hilarious. Elon popping up, doing the Hitler salute and memes. I can't wait for that, to be honest.
Brett Vesely
By the way, I didn't do it this morning, but I used to have that, you know, every now and then something would pop up by World War II. Hitler News.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
There is a little Hitler news.
Brady Bogan
Finally.
Brett Vesely
Diary of Hitler's Secret English Girlfriend reveals intimate defense details. The furor that led up to World War II. This woman in England named Unity Mitford.
Brady Bogan
A lot of diaries back then.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Was hanging out with Hitler from basically 1935 to 1939. No one ever knew. This diary was just, you know, it's.
Brady Bogan
80 years old and Hitler's thinking.
Brett Vesely
She basically recorded every day.
John Holmberg
Here's his guma.
Brady Bogan
It was.
Brett Vesely
But Ava Braun knew about her.
Brady Bogan
But I feel. Look.
John Holmberg
Well, I wouldn't.
Brady Bogan
You're dating.
John Holmberg
Hit a new one.
Brady Bogan
The worst thing he's doing is not cheating on you.
Brett Vesely
She said he was a ball of energy.
Brady Bogan
It's like if you're Hitler's girlfriend, you're like, he's cheating. And also exterminating the Jews. One of those takes precedent. Could be worse over your feelings. I'm sorry. He's kind of not the most loyal guy in the world, but he's. He's definitely got a bigger fish to fry over now. I shouldn't even use that phrase. Anyway. And we all get into those moments, but we got to stop with the whole next Hitler Nazi thing now. Also stopped is the hand gesture. Just don't do that. This is what Devin said. Elon's autistic ass is a fan of the Roman Empire. And they used to do that salute as a sign of respect. The old Gladiator Caesar, right?
Brett Vesely
Or the general.
Brady Bogan
It got ruined. Just like the swastika used to mean peace. It got wrecked. Can't do it anymore. But let's not. Let's not jump all over everything as immediate.
Brett Vesely
You're right. I mean, when I saw it, I laughed.
Brady Bogan
Funny.
Brett Vesely
But do I think that's why he's doing it?
Brady Bogan
No. And that's why we gotta. We gotta loosen up, because Rachel Maddow will say that, you know, she was talking crazy after I loved watching msnbc. Their lives are over. They are so upset and mad and, I mean, everything's on fire. And the one thing she. She Was complaining about. Look at all the billionaires. These people, all they are. She makes $30 million a year and does a show one night a week.
John Holmberg
What?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, they just cut her 5 million a year because MSNBC is out of money. So she's cut back to $25 million a year to be the kind of face of MSNBC when they need her. But she only does one show a week. I don't want to hear you complain about striving for wealth just because they've got more than you. That makes it all relative, because there's plenty of people. $30 million a year seems a little excessive, too. I'm not getting in anybody's pockets. You make all the money you want to make, but don't bitch when somebody makes more than you and then start calling it an oligarchy when you're sitting there complaining that MSNBC doesn't give you 30 million a year anymore for 52 shows a year.
Brett Vesely
That's what I said to somebody that was like that. I go, so the job that you're doing right now, if they turn around and said, you know, we. We've been doing fantastic. In fact, we've grown a lot. We want to pay you 15 million a year, are you going to say no? Well, that's different.
Brady Bogan
I talked to a girl who worked here who was mad at Tripp, won't give anybody a raise, not even a dollar, because he's too busy spending all his money mopping everything up. And I'm like, I make more than Tripp. You're complaining to me? What are you talking about? I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about. You're just mad. You can't even see. It's like what Chappelle said. Said this weekend, this is precisely why I hate poor people, is because they can't see through their own pain. It's a great line. I've been saying it for years. I don't want to hear you complain about your problems. It's not. My success is not. Your failure. That's it. Period. And somebody else much more successful than me is not. Because I didn't get what I deserve. Getting what I. I'm getting what I get. It's not their. Them getting more. No bearing on my life. And I don't deserve any money as a man anymore ever again. And I'll tell you exactly why. Brett, you're handy. And you can't change windshield wipers, but you're still handy. I would put you as handiest man in this room.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brady Bogan
Because you're mechanical, right? Toledo. Probably second. Brady, I'm gonna put you third, even though that's just a gift, because I am useless. I bought four bike racks for my bikes. I have four bikes that I have hung off my ceiling and I don't like what I've done with that. And by the way, I've got hooks for the bikes and I screwed them into the. The studs in the ceiling. In between each stud is another drill hole until I find the next one. So there's about 37 to 40 holes across the top of my garage that have been puttied up poorly. And I found four studs. Well, well thought I found four studs. Three, cuz. Finally the fourth bike came out of the earth, out of the ceiling, crumbled to the ground. So it wasn't. It was hanging by a corner of the stud. So what time?
Brett Vesely
Late night?
Brady Bogan
Oh, no, no. I was right in the garage and I went to get the other bike out and that one came out and it came tearing out of the ceilings. It was just hanging by half a. So I'm like, all right, that's my bad. Should have drilled one more hole. I'd have found it. But I kind of. I kind of edged the stud. So I'm like, there it is. And I screwed the thing in there. It was about right. And the thing hung on as long as it could. So I said to myself, I got to get bike racks for the wall. This is a terrible system I got here.
John Holmberg
Still find the stud though.
Brady Bogan
No, they're on the wall. So just normally brick walls.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brady Bogan
So I had, I purchased the bike. So I go online, I look at the bike racks and I. And I grabbed these awesome tire width bike racks that screw into your wall and then swivel. So the bikes lay on their side against the wall and overlap each other. It's like book pages. Really cool. So I'm like, oh, this is going to require some measuring, which I can do. This is going to work out. This ends so badly. So first off, I need four. So I go online. Quantity four. Boom. Each pack, four bike rides. I've got 16 bike racks. Nice shows up in this heavy ass box. So that's what I thought. I'm like, for the future, I'll fill it. I'll make the whole garage full of these. It's easy peasy. It's two screws and you're in. Go over to the brick wall.
John Holmberg
It's brick.
Brady Bogan
What can go on?
John Holmberg
Just drill.
Brady Bogan
Right. I got a drill pilot Hole, it says the next thing goes right in the pilot hole. Gets in there. Yeah, it anchors in. Well, it's a bolt that screw until it's not right. Yeah, that doesn't keep going. And it's also hand. So I'm like, this ain't gonna fly. So I go and buy cement, screw anchor things that they just punch right through. Yeah, right. They don't, though. And also, they're Phillips heads. So the drill is just slipping out, stabbing the wall. So I finally get one up. Like, this is gonna put the bike on. It pulls the wall. Feels like just chunks of brick. I don't know. So chunked it out, like, damn it. I don't know. Eight holes later, because I mismeasured once. And then the second one was just in the mortar. So I got whole hole. Whole hole. A couple more drilled here. Then I'm like, these are too high. So I started drilling holes lower. And then so I'm like, this is good. And then I put one of those. What do they call those? Those anchor molly things there. But I decided I'm gonna go for one that's like steel. Now. This thing ain't coming out of the wall. Still haven't hung one yet. We're about two hours in. It's simple. I mean, this is two screws and a bike. Simple. Put the first metal. This. This. It just looks like. Like it would dig into the earth for months. It was like an auger bit. Yeah. Like, it's just like a scientific science fiction thing. Put it in the little pilot thing I drilled, and I put the drill on that, and I start going, and it starts spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning, and it just keeps going. And I'm like, well, this isn' back it out. And I grabbed was on fire. Oh, yeah. I have burns on my thumb and fingers.
John Holmberg
Fix it.
Brady Bogan
That made me throw the drill. I am useless. And my fingers. My thumb and finger. I can't sizzled currently right now.
John Holmberg
Oh, this is recently yesterday.
Brady Bogan
The worst pain of my life. Then I decided this is going to happen, that I took a hammer and started slamming things into the wall to anchor it there because I couldn't get the drill to not just spin. I got two molle anchors in there. Put the screws in, pop it back up. Bike's hanging. I go to twist it. Brick comes out. Twelve holes in the wall. No bike rack. Oh, my bikes are back up in the ceiling. So what I'm saying here, long story, short start. I'm selling 16 bike racks. You guys are interested. The first eight need screws because I bent or broke all of those.
John Holmberg
All right, you got a picture of these things? I may be interested. Meanwhile, Dan Holmberg sitting there in Texas.
Brady Bogan
Going, gee, he's in Texas going, there's a disturbance in the forest. My gay son's trying to be handy. I. I thought I had a son and daughter.
Brett Vesely
I'm sending high yellow.
Brady Bogan
I have never felt a pain like I felt grabbing the threads of that screw coming out of that cement wall. That was live. I've touched fire. Wasn't even close. This. It stuck to my finger. It sizzled deep down to the bone.
Brett Vesely
Because it was hot enough, but it just wasn't glowing.
Brady Bogan
If it was orange, I would have been like, hey, warning. But it was still silver. And I went to grab it, and you heard, and everything got thrown. Everything. I'll take a picture of the wall that I tried to do this on. It's an embarrassment. It looks like the St. Valentine's Day massacre wall. There's just holes.
Brett Vesely
So it's eight racks because you had to open the other racks to get to the tool kit again.
Brady Bogan
Yes. So there was one rack that went up, and then one of them I got that tore out of the wall. The screw is now stuck in the hole where the anchor is, and I can't back it out because it'll slice my fingers off. So I had to get, like, a pair of channel locks and try to. But I'm not doing that. That one just went in the trash. So then I went and grabbed another one. I'm like, I got 16 of these. I got. I got 12 failures. If I. All I need is four. Three of them I went through that are no good anymore. One bent because I busted it. And then I'm down to, like, my last two bags of bolts and screws.
Brett Vesely
Could they still go on the wall?
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah. Oh, the ones that I wrapped.
Brett Vesely
Room. Yeah. I mean, like, you got 12 holes, right?
Brady Bogan
Well, yeah, but, I mean, I can't put them in there. They're.
Brett Vesely
No, not. I'm just saying. But you could move it over enough and start a cover.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah, I can scooch over. That's where the more holes came from. My first mistakes, about an inch and a half over, I would do another set of holes. And then I didn't realize that the inch and a half over after the third set, the bottom was going into the mortar, and I already drilled the top. I can drill a hole like nobody's business. If you need a guy for a job that'll drill holes. I'm great at it after the fact. Terrible. And don't email me like, you suck. I'm, I'm telling you I suck. It isn't insulting for you to come up with a joke on that. I beat you to it. I know I suck. I have two. Literally almost went to the hospital. I put butter on my fingers. It was burning like I've never felt a burn in my life and I've never heard of that before. The screw gets so hot you can't touch it. Horrifying.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Drill bits get hot.
Brady Bogan
It wasn't the bit, it was the thing. The bit was it, it was the, the, the Molly anchor, whatever they call.
Brett Vesely
Whatever'S doing the friction.
Brady Bogan
It was just spinning and I went to just pop it off the edge of the, the oh, so bad. It says leave your handyman work for a day labor. That's so true. And it made me admire Mexicans. It made anybody. I, I, I can't do anything. I am so completely pathetic. And I grew up with a man who was responsible for building stadiums. Footprint center, the football stadium, the, the, whatever the Greyhound Dial building is now the entire Phoenix Civic Center. The Super Dial stuff too.
John Holmberg
Or, huh, they do the Superdome or something up there too.
Brady Bogan
He wasn't on that, but his company was. Yeah, they built all the state, any state.
Brett Vesely
West Virginia.
Brady Bogan
West Virginia. Any. Your silly Cincinnati stadiums are all his. The company he was with, he never let me touch any of the stuff he knew. He knew at an early age he knew like my name was, you know, Jeeves, that my future was in nothing close to any like that. He, he saw, you know, when you meet a kid when he's like four, you're like, he's gay. And nobody can say it yet, but you knew. And then he grows up and like I knew that kid was gay when he was 4. He's dressed up like one wonder woman every day. It wasn't even Halloween.
John Holmberg
So he never brought you a job.
Brady Bogan
Site going, that's my boy. No, the one time he took me to the job site, a guy asked if, if that if I was his daughter and he got mad and told made me get a haircut that day in the car, door shut, you're getting a haircut. Because his manly co workers get me El Camino thought I was abroad. No, it was the work truck. Oh, you sit down at me like a pig pen dust. I always thought that was neat in my dad's truck because that's what a gay kid would do as he hops in a car and sits down. Smoke. Your car is dusty. All right? Don't twink around when I take it out of there. If your mother was home, you'd be home. So I'm not going to ask for help. I figured it out. I just need someone to give me tips on how to fill bricks because I got a lot of holes in my wall. Call Dan up.
John Holmberg
Having said, hi yellow down.
Brady Bogan
Hi yellow. Shooting over would be good, I think, if high yellow was there. But what you been doing drilling holes in the wall for no reason whatsoever? See, there's no not. There was a reason. High yellow looks kind of random to me. If you looked at it, you'd be like, was there a plan? No. The plan was this is going to go real easy. That's not the case. Nothing's easy for me. And then I go online and watch the dude do it.
John Holmberg
No problems.
Brett Vesely
And you're like three, four seconds.
Brady Bogan
No. Oh, he was doing the same thing I was doing, only his was working. Is he the mag her and you put a little. Dad needs drills right in. But his was wood walls. Nobody was showing me brick. But it's just a wall of holes. Now.
John Holmberg
I've got Troy Michael to help you out.
Brady Bogan
They're more manly than I guarantee you. They're both more helpful and handy than I am. If you need anything done at the house, I am not the guy.
Brett Vesely
They can drill.
Brady Bogan
Oh, they can drill. They love power tools. I guarantee you if you take a dong off the end of the drill. Because I'm sure they've got. I'm sure they've done. I'm sure they've got a dewalt that's got a like an 8 inch flopper on the end of it they use all the time. They pop that off. They're as good with a drill as I am. They're probably better at it. I mean, I can drill a hole, but it doesn't mean I've done it right. Oh, and the first one I drilled, I was so proud of myself. Like, this is going to take me five seconds. Seconds. I line up the next one. Then I put the rack there. Mismeasured by about an inch and a half. That's a hole for no reason.
Brett Vesely
There's there another one? Yeah, another one.
Brady Bogan
Didn't say maybe four words to Megan all day yesterday. Cuz I was so in the deal. And she comes in, she goes, how'd it go? Not good. I got band aids and gauze all over my fingers. What'd you do? I burned my Fingers. I don't want to talk about it. It's hard work in there. Man stuff. Why is there just holes in the way? I don't need you looking at it. I'm not done yet.
Brett Vesely
Work in progress.
Brady Bogan
Work in progress. We're a hard hat around here. You never know what's going to come down. I think I'm going to hit a structurally important thing.
John Holmberg
The worst part is if she went out there and drilled the hole.
Brady Bogan
Look, if she. If I came home, there were four bike racks on the bricks and it was like I killed myself. I mean, I'd probably fail at that. Yeah, I'm an idiot. Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you guys because I just touched something and my hand started on fire again. And it's not showing yet, but the skin moves. Like I can scooch it around like it's blistered off.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it hurts so bad. So bad. But anyway, so I'm not a man. This guy says, I want to make fun of you, but I had to drive to U of A to install a shower head for my son on poor Dan. You're just like, I can do a shower. I think I can do a shower head. I think I put a shower head on before. I'm not. I'm not so sure about taking one off.
Brett Vesely
I've done both.
Brady Bogan
It has to fly off.
Brett Vesely
It sprays like crazy.
Brady Bogan
I'm not sure I can do it.
Brett Vesely
You can put it on.
Brady Bogan
You get that tape? Yeah, white tape. I can do that. Anyway, so all you guys out there can have a nice laugh at my expense. I admit it. Especially you, Brett, Mr. Giggle Box over there. I remember that same exact reaction when I'm like, you changed my windshield.
John Holmberg
I had a broken wing.
Brady Bogan
I don't want to hear it. You didn't.
John Holmberg
Broken wing.
Brady Bogan
You didn't have the ability to tell Brady how to do it. He couldn't reach it.
John Holmberg
Cuz you seen what I was dealing with there.
Brett Vesely
Come on.
Brady Bogan
You had a broken arm and you knew it. I still said you could.
John Holmberg
Well, I thought I could.
Brett Vesely
I mean, but I.
Brady Bogan
Broken wing.
John Holmberg
You had two good wings.
Brady Bogan
I.
John Holmberg
And still couldn't.
Brady Bogan
None of us could. Brady, in fairness, was probably the most handicapped on the whole windshield wiper change because. Because he couldn't reach two stepper. Yeah, he looked so sad reaching over the hood of the car like the windshield was a mountain. Anyway, so there. So that's. If you see me, don't touch my hand. I might do a little Elon Musk thing with this One just to wave to you because it hurts when the air hits it. And to all you guys out. You know what? You. That's the end of this message. We got hot releases coming up. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Dick Toledo
You thought that was funny?
Brady Bogan
Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
Brett Vesely
What the hell is wrong with you?
Brady Bogan
There's nothing. I'm proud of, you jerks. Oh, a whole lot.
Brett Vesely
Oh, they are.
Brady Bogan
I know. And I deserve it. I'm not. Look, I deserve to get beaten up by this because it's just not a thing. It's horrible. Congratulations to David down the hall. He nominated himself for something and then got nominated and then told everybody about it. No offense to our friend David Moore down the hall, but if you're nominated for like programmer of the year, that's great. Or you're a top 24. You can't be the one that puts that email out. That's like me trying to hang a bike rack. Just not somebody else has to say, you've won. It seems a little self serving made me giggle. But I just got the email. So congratulations to the guy who did a good job down the hall. And if you don't know who I'm talking about, don't worry about it. He'll tell you. Hilarious. Anyway, that's radio crap. It is. You guys don't have any hot releases really? This week? Why? What happened?
Dick Toledo
Nothing.
Brady Bogan
I don't understand.
John Holmberg
Oh, you want to see the new Spin Doctors song?
Brady Bogan
Yes. Hold on. I have to ask a question real quick now that I'm back. I've been driving around. I just noticed in your parking lot the flag is at half mount Masked. I think I. I think I ordered those to full mast. I like my. I like my ex president to be alive, not losers like Jimmy Carter. Can't even. Can't even stay on the earth long enough to watch me get inaugurated. Put the flag back where it goes.
Dick Toledo
On it, sir.
Brady Bogan
Thank you. My guy. He's the only guy in the world that would say that. Why are those half. He demanded that the flag at full staff for him. Was that still down for Jimmy? He's not coming back. He's not even going to be there. He's a loser anyway. All right, well, we'll do the hot releases then. And they're brought to you by my friends@newacunit.com. pretty awesome right now. You can get on that deal. Get your AC replaced. It's cold now. Finally. Feels good. Last Night it was nippley. But now is when you start thinking, okay, I can get through the next month or two. And then what happens when my AC units. I have a friend of mine who's just. His just blew up. He heard a noise. Poof. When the heater came on, smoke came out of the vent. Smell of it. I don't know what's going on. Something happened. Got to get the whole thing replaced. And I told him about it. If you're thinking that yours is on its last legs and it's not going to make it through winter, it certainly isn't going to touch summer. And that's closer than you think. They're giving you money off. If you put Holmberg in the promo code. I believe it's another $1,000. How's about that? So throw that up there and save some money. That's already a great savings. Save thousands. Save time. Buy online. New ac unit.com. i'll go with you. For the Spin Doctors. Call Brett. All right, new stuff.
John Holmberg
This is called Still a Gorilla from the Spin Doctors.
Brady Bogan
The original lineup. I. That. I don't know Spin Doctors. I didn't dig too deep. I got to. I'll tell the story after we hear a little Stiller Girl gorilla. Right now. I like it.
Brett Vesely
I can tell the gravel from a bottle of rye.
Brady Bogan
I can tell the moat from the mud in your eye. A hawk from a hairstyle Bamboo from a willow. They're still hippies. Gorilla. This is dumb. Children know. This is AI Right. This is. I know.
Brett Vesely
Tragedy from through the R. No anti.
Brady Bogan
Okay, that's terrible. It started off well. You asked. Started with a cool riff, and then just that dude ruined it.
John Holmberg
How about Heidi Montag?
Brady Bogan
Hold on. Brady and I happened to be backstage the day the Spin Doctors lost their record deal at Arizona 98 97. As a concert at the Zone earlier, Spin Doctors were the headliner.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Dave Wakeling was the one all these weird hippie broads were rubbing their beans to. And I didn't know who that was, but evidently he's a alternative something or other saying English Beat garbage. Everybody wanted to make a big deal out of that. And I'm like, haven't heard of it. You don't know the English beat? No, because they suck, I think. And that's why when you don't hear of a band anyway, they'd rub it all. Spin Doctors are backstage. The guy's in that stupid ski cap crying sooner or later. Because right before he went on stage, his manager told him, you just got dropped by the Record label. And then they had to go sing one, two, Princess. Neil before you. We need a job now. Anyway. Don't start playing the English beat.
John Holmberg
All right, all right.
Brady Bogan
They had one song. I don't know why.
John Holmberg
I don't even know what it was. Is it sa.
Brady Bogan
They. I know. Yeah. Save it for later. They had one hit, and the lady that was interviewing them was commending him for his contrib or contribution to the history of music.
John Holmberg
There you go.
Brady Bogan
Bone Mama wouldn't say your contribution to the history of music is. Dave, you're so great. Yeah, that is him. Boom, boom, boom. It's the Bone Boon Bo on the Bone Bone Show.
John Holmberg
Sounds like Lamar Jackson. I can understand him just about the same.
Dick Toledo
Now put in Dave Wakeling.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it's. It's worthless. They went on and on and on about him.
Dick Toledo
And I'm like, E, L, I, N.
Brady Bogan
G. I thought I knew my way around music by the time I'd gotten to this point and I was going to learn some more. And they're introducing me to this, and I'm like, the dude with the one hit wonder is your hero. Isn't this kind of like making Aha. The greatest band of all time? And this is any. I don't think he did say this. I don't know that that's a Garbage zone song from, like, Sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that. Not a hit. In fact, it's just a bad police.
John Holmberg
Cover with a little madness thrown in there.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
One Step Beyond. Yes. Yes. Oh, they lost their minds and they called me the idiot. So I'm like, I guess I'm the idiot. I didn't know who that was. He went on stage, sang 10 songs I didn't know.
Brett Vesely
Open with it probably closed.
Brady Bogan
And a bunch of ladies with hairy armpits rubbed their beans. And then the spin doctors came out and cried. And I'm like, I'm at the worst station in the city.
John Holmberg
You want one? Heidi Montag.
Brady Bogan
Yes. They're begging for money. This is the number one song in the world.
John Holmberg
All right, this is. I'll do it.
Brady Bogan
Because Spencer Pratt wouldn't shut up. And they. He asked them to go buy her song a bunch. And they did it. People follow Spencer Pratt enough to make this a hit. She looks healthy. Yes. Completely different. I never thought I'd say this, but who punched Tori Spelling in the face? Oh, good call. Nailed it. Wow.
Brett Vesely
Fresh. Have you seen her?
Brady Bogan
Well, no, but this is. This is worse.
Dick Toledo
How does Plastic Age.
Brady Bogan
Wow.
John Holmberg
I don't know.
Brady Bogan
It's a good question.
Brett Vesely
Pull up Tori's failing.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, but does it. You know what I mean?
Brady Bogan
And that's. That's.
John Holmberg
That's terrible.
Brady Bogan
Some of the worst surgery I've seen. Shouldn't have done that to yourself, Heidi.
Dick Toledo
Not when you were so young.
Brady Bogan
She was pretty. Pretty.
Dick Toledo
Anyway.
Brady Bogan
I get the cans.
Dick Toledo
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Brady Bogan
She put in huge cans.
Dick Toledo
And she reduced those. Right? Cuz she went too big time.
Brady Bogan
She. She should reduce that husband of hers. That guy's the biggest douche in the world.
John Holmberg
What are those two doing now? Just like appearances at comic.
Brady Bogan
He begs for money cuz his house burned down and that's all he's done. And then he begs for people to download that terrible song of hers.
Dick Toledo
They got the Gutenberg treatment on one news thing too.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. They know who they were.
Dick Toledo
Yeah. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Just another blonde with fake hands in California.
Brady Bogan
Big deal. Exactly. Blend. All right? Nothing else?
John Holmberg
Not really.
Brady Bogan
You got nothing on your night agent?
Dick Toledo
Season two on Netflix. And that's really about it.
Brady Bogan
Severance night Agent. That's about it.
Dick Toledo
Severance was last week.
Brady Bogan
All right, well, there you go. Hot releases nonetheless. Go get yourself a spin back.
Brett Vesely
Gorilla.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, gorilla. Still a gorilla. Gorilla. Gonna lose your record label again. At least they're used to that feeling. Because not gonna happen. This one ain't gonna last long. Well, that's your first release. And those your hot release is brought to you by our friends@newacunit.com sickness they say things that are horrible. Morning sickness. God, that's a good band. Chevelle. If you're not a Chevelle fan, go be one. I mean immediately. For about 12 years. They didn't do anything wrong. Everything they touched was great. Talking to my buddy Reggie. He's back in Chicago and we're talking about Heidi Montag's face being so strange. And we both narrowed it down that she's. She probably would be considered a little hotter if it wasn't for that douchebag she's with. I think he makes her uglier just by being around. And then I kind of just nailed it in my own brain when I text back to him. Him, he makes me like Jake Paul. That's how big a douche he is. Like between the two of them, I'm like, oh, Jake Paul. And I'll landslide before I hang out with Spencer Pratt. And I don't know, when your house burns down. And then, I don't know, 10,000 other homes burned down. Aren't you kind of a dick to go ask for money from like only fans or whatever he's asking like gofundme pages. No, we're really not able to make it. Like there's 20,000 people out of their houses right now. You're not. Why do you think we should independently feel sorry for you? I really. I'm struggling. Yeah. I would assume all of you. A lot of people are. This is rough. If you're going to divvy that money out, that would be nice. But to make this about you right now is not a good idea. Anyway, my opinion. Then again, I mean I have burns on my fingers from that screw. You don't hear me on Internet begging for cash. Crowdfund that I just had a Mexican.
Dick Toledo
On the number one show in town.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, exactly. I just had a Mexican person tell me that mustard on a burned skin thing works. It's a Mexican thing.
Dick Toledo
Must be true.
Brady Bogan
It could be. I don't see a lot of burned up Mexicans are constantly walking around with French inches just in case I light on fire. Like what? You'll see. Anyway, it's. We got an entertainment drill coming up in just moments. Get ready and grab some mustard. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? How do we do this every day? Eventually figure out how to work the clock. I'm clueless. Anyway, it's time now for the entertainment drill and we'll get the hell out of here. Just announced over there our sponsor of the entertainment early react defense.com home of Tactical Black. On April 25th they're going to do a woman's only. Women's only. I guess I should say women's only self defense. Not just one of you. Women's only self defense seminar up at the Phoenix location. It's 199 bucks and that'll include a full month of training if you're a lady. And remember there's only one or two choices. That's it. If you're a lady and you want to get in on this thing. Trust me, I have seen this in action. The female defense courses, the ladies. Oh, this is ridiculous. You will watch. Watch. I don't know how many women they'll get on that thing. 30 women on the floor and they go in like. I don't know, I'm not sure. And they come out like the most confident tigress you have ever seen in your life. It is a confidence boosting couple hours of your life for the seminar that's going to make you just a different animal right away. You're going to see your capabilities just soar in the first hour and a half. And by the end of it, your adrenaline's going. You're like, I need to do this all the time. So they're going to give you that opportunity. Not only will you be part of the seminar. Seminar, you get a month of training and it is open to the public. That doesn't mean you have to sign up. You're ready to go. So along with this, you get that. And also still for everybody else, you get $199. Buy one, get one for the month. For the rest of us, that's pretty great. The deals are flying out there. You want to get involved in this deal and make yourself just better in shape mentally and otherwise. Stop being a sheep. Start being a sheep dog. They'll teach you. And you can't beat this, ladies. If you get somebody in your life, you're wife, your daughter, who may be going off to, you know, live somewhere by herself. Toledo's kid moved off to Tucson. He's down there by himself now. Imagine if that was a girl. I know you'd be horrified if she didn't have anything in her pocket to be prepared for goofiness. You never know.
Dick Toledo
Well, he ain't got anything.
Brady Bogan
That's true. He's. Yeah. He's defenseless as well. Of course, then again, nobody's going to rob zero. He got a lighter, I believe. Yeah. Turn up and if you're going to rob him, it's just going to beat him up. That would be about. You don't want that either. He's got nothing either way. Get on this thing and it's. It's. It's truly invaluable to get involved in this. So do it. React. Defense.com. it's the home of tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.
Brett Vesely
Chappelle Roan went viral on the 24th Chapel Rome.
Brady Bogan
That's what we like.
Brett Vesely
I know. I always.
Dick Toledo
You need to talk to your daughter more.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Wow. Is what I said. I want to be chaperone Chapelle.
Brett Vesely
Evidently she told a photographer, a disrespectful photographer to shut the f up.
Brady Bogan
She's awful. Yeah. Every time I hear from her, she's being mean. So screw her. She's not that good.
Brett Vesely
So she admits that things would probably be easier if just she stuffed her feelings in. But I think I am actually. I'd be more successful if I was okay wearing a muzzle.
Brady Bogan
I. I would I would be thrilled with you if you wore a muzzle. Second, you have to be more successful for a longer period of time before you can start turning on the C word. Right? She's. She's too new to. To being a household name to already be a C word. At least Madonna, when she first came out, acted like she wanted to bang all of us before she turned into a. You can't just come out of the gate. Gates. C wording around.
Brett Vesely
Tom Brady tops the list. Quarterbacks with the most postseason wins. Patrick Mahomes is the only active player who's even close.
Brady Bogan
And nobody's.
Brett Vesely
Patrick Mahomes has 16 postseason wins.
Brady Bogan
Thompson 30, 35.
Brett Vesely
There is another quarterback that has 16 postseason win wins.
Brady Bogan
It's Joe Montana.
Brett Vesely
Joe Montana, 14 with the Niners, two with the Chiefs. Then it drops down to, you get four with 14 wins.
Brady Bogan
Terry Bradshaw. Man, that gets Danny White, maybe. No, he didn't have a lot of playoff wins. Staubach might have had more than him, but even then he didn't have many because Craig Morton was their quarterback.
Brett Vesely
Had 13.
Brady Bogan
It was right on it.
Brett Vesely
But with Favre and your boy, Ben.
Brady Bogan
Farve would have been a guest. And Ben was up there. I knew he had a lot. I didn't know he was up there.
Brett Vesely
But the 14 wins. Bradshaw, Elway, Kelly, Peyton Manning, Jim Kelly, Steve Young.
Brady Bogan
Jim Kelly had like three wins a year for three straight years.
Brett Vesely
He's not even up there on 12 wins. Aaron Rodgers has 12.
Dick Toledo
That's right. Reich started two or three of those games.
Brady Bogan
No, he finished one.
Dick Toledo
Well, he finished one, but he came back the next year and it was starting.
Brady Bogan
I don't know.
Brett Vesely
Aaron Rodgers and Earl Morrow have 12 wins.
Brady Bogan
Right? Earl.
Brett Vesely
He played 21 years as a starter and a backup for multiple teams.
Brady Bogan
But.
Brett Vesely
Steve Lucas, Lucather or it can't be right. Yeah, it is.
Brady Bogan
From Toto you're talking about.
Brett Vesely
He doesn't think Rivers. Cuomo likes the song Africa. When he did it, he said, I think he was trying to do it, to choke on it a little bit. And that kind of backfired because all.
Brady Bogan
Of a sudden, huge. He's got to sing it all the time now.
Brett Vesely
And. And now they play the piss out of it. Yeah, he says, I never got a chance to ask Rivers if he actually thinks what he thinks of the song. But I tried to reach out and the guy and be friendly, and it just got weird. Goes, I don't want to get into it, but peace and love, I think.
Brady Bogan
I think Rivers, Cuomo, it was good for them.
Brett Vesely
It Was good for us.
Brady Bogan
I think he is weird.
John Holmberg
Yeah, weird.
Brady Bogan
There's no getting around the fact that that dude's a little off. All right, well, there you go. That ought to do it. And Brett hits me with the thing right before we go off the air. We didn't even talk about the fat lady that rolled over on her baby. Yeah, we got to get on that. Yeah, I didn't know about that. We'll have that. Is tomorrow's show. Fat lady crushes baby. How did I not see that on the headlines this morning? Damn it. I was too involved in that inauguration Looking at Lauren Sanchez's bra.
Dick Toledo
Jump back to Jim Kelly. You said three wins a year.
Brady Bogan
He only had two because they always won the.
Dick Toledo
They never played in the wild card.
Brady Bogan
Always in the one seasonal and then the championship and then the super bowl, clearly. So it was two. So they won. He's got six or seven.
Dick Toledo
Nine total.
Brady Bogan
Four super bowls and nine playoff wins. That came and went quick. Troy Aikman. He's got to be 10 or 12. Look, there's some great names on that list that didn't get past 10, but again, they were always the 1 seed. You know, that's crazy. Anyway. All right, let's get the hell out of here. We're done. Larry's coming up next. He's only got eight. Aikman, nine. Okay. Wow. So after their last super bowl, they didn't do anything.
Dick Toledo
Yep. That's it.
Brady Bogan
All right.
Dick Toledo
Got all nine between 92 and 96.
Brady Bogan
And then nothing.
Dick Toledo
And then nothing.
Brady Bogan
Wow. All right. Well, that's right. Jake plummer beat him in round one that year. Holy cow. Yeah. Nothing but chronic headaches. Giant hands, though. Larry's coming up next on this Tuesday afternoon. You guys have yourselves a fantastic day, and we'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning Sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: January 21, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Duration: Approximately 2 hours
The episode kicks off with an intense discussion on the current state of college and NFL football, dominating much of the conversation.
Brady Bogan's Rant on Lamar Jackson:
Brady leads a vehement critique of Baltimore Ravens' quarterback Lamar Jackson, questioning his intelligence and leadership on the field.
“He's the lowest scorer in the Wonderlic test currently playing in the NFL, which is a 13. Put your IQ around 81 to 83...” ([07:18])
Team Loyalty and Rivalries:
The hosts delve into their personal affiliations, with Brady expressing disdain for Ravens fans and praising the Ohio State Buckeyes, while lamenting the struggles of teams like the Cincinnati Bengals and Detroit Lions.
“Nothing gives me greater joy than a Baltimore Ravens crushing defeat... just super tall people die early. Good.” ([08:00])
Super Bowl Predictions:
A lively debate ensues about potential Super Bowl contenders, with opinions largely favoring the Kansas City Chiefs and skepticism towards other teams' capabilities.
“My pick right now is Eagles. Chiefs. Unless something goofy happens...” ([82:55])
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to brainstorming ideas for Doug Hopkins' upcoming commercial campaign focused on buying houses in any condition.
Creative Concepts:
The team presents a myriad of outlandish and humorous ideas, ranging from Doug surrounded by puppies to absurd scenarios involving transvestites and haunted houses.
“I love the puppy idea. 15 seconds. You don't have much time. Puppies, the jingle, and Doug in the middle saying, I'm TV's Doug Hopkins...” ([28:42])
Listener Engagement:
Hosts encourage listeners to submit their own creative concepts, promising concert tickets for selected ideas.
“If your idea gets used and I'll pass them on to the guy, we'll give you concert tickets...” ([31:00])
The discussion shifts to recent political events, notably President Trump's inauguration, with the hosts expressing strong opinions.
Critique of Melania Trump's Attire:
A sizable rant targets Melania Trump's fashion choices, particularly her footwear, dubbing them impractical and embarrassing.
“Your shoes are not my problem... Your shoes are killing me.” ([56:46])
White House Logistics:
Conversations veer into discussions about the White House's capacity, Blair House, and the potential for consolidating guest accommodations to save taxpayer money.
“Put the flag back where it goes... We're going to blow stuff up.” ([48:43])
Executive Orders and Gender Policies:
The hosts debate recent executive orders related to gender recognition, with Brady expressing confusion and opposition to expanding gender categories on official documents.
“So that basically all it is, is on government things like your driver's license and whatever, you're either a biological man or a biological woman...” ([59:43])
Interspersed with intense debates are personal anecdotes highlighting the hosts' DIY mishaps and day-to-day struggles.
Brady's Bike Rack Blunder:
Brady recounts his disastrous attempt to install bike racks, resulting in damaged walls and burned fingers.
“I floated the drill... I have burns on my thumb and fingers. It hurts so bad.” ([152:20])
Home Improvement Woes:
The conversation includes humorous exchanges about inadequate home repair skills, emphasizing the importance of leaving certain tasks to professionals.
“Leave your handyman work for a day labor. That's so true.” ([152:47])
The hosts engage with listener-submitted stories and feedback, weaving them into the broader narrative of the show.
Viral Moments and Social Media:
Discussions touch upon viral moments, such as Elon Musk's controversial gestures and their impact on public perception.
“Elon's autistic ass is a fan of the Roman Empire... salute twice.” ([136:20])
Local Incidents and News:
The team covers local news snippets, including incidents like a teenager attempting to burn down a congressman's office out of frustration over the shutdown of TikTok.
“He told the cops it was because he was upset Tick Tock was going away.” ([146:43])
Towards the end, the hosts shift focus to music releases and entertainment news, providing listeners with updates and critiques.
Spin Doctors' Struggles:
A critique of the Spin Doctors' performance and career trajectory, highlighting their loss of a record deal and subsequent musical endeavors.
“They sang 10 songs I didn't know... It's the Bone Boon Bo on the Bone Bone Show.” ([161:08])
National Hugging Day and Pop Culture References:
Brief mentions of national events and pop culture phenomena, often accompanied by the hosts' trademark humor and sarcasm.
“Happy National Hugging Day... Over the next decade, the following copyrighted works will enter the public domain...” ([106:12])
As the episode concludes, the hosts wrap up with final thoughts, shout-outs, and promotions for upcoming events and sponsors.
Self-Deprecating Humor:
Brady humorously admits to his lack of handyman skills while promoting local businesses.
“I'm useless. I bought four bike racks for my bikes... I'm not the guy.” ([152:53])
Sponsor Promotions:
Advertisements for local businesses, such as Action Ride Shop and React Defense, are seamlessly integrated into the closing segments.
“It's brought to you by Action Ride Shop... Newacunit.com.” ([91:35])
Brady Bogan on Disliking Lamar Jackson:
“Nothing gives me greater joy than a Baltimore Ravens crushing defeat...” ([08:00])
Doug Hopkins' Commercial Idea:
“I'm TV's Doug Hopkins and I want to buy your house in any condition...” ([28:42])
Brady on Executive Orders and Gender Policies:
“So that basically all it is, is on government things like your driver's license and whatever, you're either a biological man or a biological woman...” ([59:43])
Brady on Personal Responsibility and Complaining:
“Your shoes are not my problem... Your shoes are killing me.” ([56:46])
Conclusion:
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of passionate sports debates, creative brainstorming for commercials, political rants, personal anecdotes, and community interactions. The hosts maintain an engaging and humorous tone throughout, ensuring listeners are entertained while being informed about various topics ranging from local events to national happenings.
Note: The timestamps provided correspond to the moments highlighted in the transcript and are intended to guide listeners to specific segments of interest.