01-21-25 - Hopkins Ideas Still Coming In - Watching Trump's Inauguration And Seeing How Uncomfortable Melania Was In Her Shoes - Trump Exec Order To Recognize Only Two Genders Causes Uproar

Summary

Summary of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona"

Episode Title: Hopkins Ideas Still Coming In - Watching Trump's Inauguration And Seeing How Uncomfortable Melania Was In Her Shoes - Trump Exec Order To Recognize Only Two Genders Causes Uproar
Release Date: January 21, 2025
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Trump’s Inauguration and Melania’s Experience

The episode opens with lively discussions about President Trump's inauguration, focusing primarily on First Lady Melania Trump's discomfort during the event. The hosts express amusement and frustration over Melania’s choice of impractical footwear for the lengthy ceremony.

• Brett:
  "She just gracefully walked out of there. I'm like, that is magnificent looking. They were probably 10 or $15,000 shoes."
  [10:32]

• Brett:
  "The last thing I want is a pair of six-inch heels sitting next to me and being my responsibility because all I'm gonna hear about is complaining."
  [32:35]

The conversation highlights the tension between maintaining a polished appearance and the physical discomfort caused by such high heels, emphasizing how it affected the overall inauguration experience.

2. Trump’s Executive Order on Gender Recognition

A significant portion of the episode delves into President Trump's controversial executive order to officially recognize only two genders. The hosts discuss the potential social and administrative implications of this policy change.

• Brett:
  "He's signing executive orders as a show. People watched a man sign papers and cheer wahoo. And one of them he signed yesterday has got everybody going crazy, which is the official government recognition of only two genders."
  [19:58]

• Greg:
  "How does checking a box make somebody angrier to where they're going to be violent? Where if somebody's going to be violent, it's going to be because they're looking at you, not because they saw your paperwork."
  [23:54]

• Brett:
  "So to me, I think it saves violence. I'll hear other arguments, but I think it saves violence on a piece of paper when you just check one box and make it up."
  [24:53]

The discussion critiques the notion that reducing gender options to male and female could either alleviate or exacerbate discrimination. Brett argues that limiting gender categories might reduce bureaucratic complications, while Greg challenges the effectiveness of such measures in preventing violence and discrimination.

Additionally, the hosts touch upon other related changes, such as the renaming of geographical landmarks:

• Brett:
  "Changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America is just unnecessary. That is just a simple design of stupid."
  [27:05]

This segment underscores the hosts' skepticism towards administrative changes that they perceive as unnecessary or superficial.

3. Sports Segment: NFL Team Discussions

Transitioning from politics, the hosts engage in a spirited debate about NFL teams, particularly focusing on the Kansas City Chiefs and their performance.

• Brett:
  "Chiefs fans are the only ones that kind of put their hands over their eyes and said, seems like a penalty to me."
  [41:09]

• Brett:
  "Andy Reid is no Belichick. No, he's great. He's."
  [48:41]

The conversation includes critiques of team strategies, player performances, and coaching decisions. The hosts compare current figures like Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid to past NFL legends, highlighting their impact on the game and fan perceptions.

4. Miscellaneous Discussions and Humor

Interwoven with the main topics are personal anecdotes, humor about relationships, and playful banter about pop culture.

• Brett:
  "It's very shiny. That's because of me."
  [36:21]

• Brett:
  "Your shoes are not my problem. That would be a title of a book I would write for saving marriages."
  [32:35]

The hosts use humor to discuss everyday issues, such as the practicality of high heels, while also touching upon more serious topics like personal responsibility and societal expectations.

Notable Quotes

• Brett:
  "Nobody's doing the check. And if somebody discriminates against you, there's already laws against that. It has nothing to do with which box you check."
  [24:53]

• Greg:
  "How does checking a box make somebody angrier to where they're going to be violent? Where if somebody's going to be violent, it's going to be because they're looking at you, not because they saw your paperwork."
  [23:54]

• Brett:
  "It's violence towards the community. I don't. The thing that says the word identifies as will be off of all those things or prefer not to specify."
  [24:07]

These quotes encapsulate the hosts' perspectives on the executive order and its implications, blending criticism with a dose of humor.

Conclusion

In this episode, "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offers a blend of political commentary, sports analysis, and comedic interactions. The discussions on Trump's inauguration attire and the executive order on gender recognition provide insight into the hosts' viewpoints, while their sports banter and humor ensure an engaging and entertaining listening experience. The episode underscores the show's commitment to challenging its audience with provocative topics, all delivered with a signature blend of humor and critical thought.

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments interspersed within the transcript have been omitted to maintain focus on the episode's core discussions, as per the provided instructions.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.

[Brett]

For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core Institute.com college hoops are here.

[Doug]

And there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with the baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you Hooters. The original wing joint since 1983.

[Larry McFeely]

You thought that was funny?

[Brett]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Doug]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Brett]

There you go. Thank you. Miles to nowhere. There's another good one comes up. I like this one a lot. Doug cracks open a door. There I am in the yellow jumpsuit with the goggles on, making meth like Walter White. I'll even buy this house like that because we could pull that one off real easy. No makeup needed. Give me a pair of wire glasses and I can do it. I think that's a good idea. Again. Got to get a bounder, got to get out. You know, Doug's got a few hours to pull this off. He does like the puppy idea. Doug text me back. He goes, I like the puppy thing. He goes, but I don't know if we're gonna be able to get that pulled off in the next couple hours.

[Dick Toledo]

He's got to film it today, too.

[Brett]

Yeah, he's got to do everything today. I was actually going to have this idea thing last week, but didn't have, like, we got off on a couple tangents. And the next thing you know, I'm like, we're not going to have five seconds for this. He said, could he have Sam coming.

[Greg]

Out of the shire? Like, I'll buy.

[Brett]

You got to build the shire. Yeah, I'm staying Miniature Sam. And is he still alive or is he passed? It's so little. Make a wish. Sam is just so close and his eagles are in. I hope he lives through this because it's touch and go with Doug's friend Sam. It's so sad to hear him talk now because it's just so weak. Doug says I can probably do a puppy commercial with a giveaway of money for each home bought to a charity. That's what I was going to suggest. Somebody brought that up and said, you know, every house I buy, I'll give back to Lost Our Home or the Humane Society or whatever. Doug chooses a credible stylist, something like that. Great idea. Great idea, because I'll tell you this. And it would be good for Doug, too. As we go on for Doug's business, he buys a lot of houses that have, let's say, cat problems. And, you know, a lot of times they have to take the cats to something else. There are a lot of cat houses out there. Not like that. Oh, house is filled with cats. And he'd buy a cat house, too, by the way, if it's just. Just don't bring a black light to the. That's what the no inspections thing can get you in trouble with that black light situation anyway. All right. Tons of them. Just idea. Doug owes me a brand new email account because this thing is ridiculous. All right? And you all know BY now the 30 or 40 of you that have decided to do this, the World Trade center was not a house. It doesn't matter if Doug was not gonna buy the World Trade center for cash. No. So stop with the World Trade center ideas. Nicholas says. Any word on what Vince and his wife did this weekend? Nothing yet. I have got. I have not heard from Vince. The recap on last week. Where married since what? What do you say? Since the first. They got married right as the year started, found out they're pregnant a few days later. And then I believe on the 14th or 15th she said, I need some space. It's been two weeks. That whole forever thing, I didn't realize was only a fortnight in my mind. She needed to leave and then told him at the end of the week. She had a little dalliance with an ex boyfriend. As the pressure of marriage mounted, she had one last fling. He admitted too. I also did the same thing. Problem is, she raw dogged with her ex boyfriend and got pregnant and she's not sure if it's Vince's or the little escape for a day.

[Greg]

There's a little bit of concern.

[Brett]

So now they don't know what to do. And that was just like the Doug Hopkins commercials. And I don't think we want to intertwine these two things. People suggesting what he should do. Abort, Run for his life. You know, you run for your life, you find out it's your baby and then what? Now you're tagged to her anyway, so I still like the abort thing the most. But. So no. No update on Vince yet. And if I get one, I'll. It'll. That'll be our breaking news. We need one of those. Breaking news. Vince has emailed. Hopefully Vince is keeping it together. Says, how about this? Greg says, my mom literally thinks her house is haunted after her boyfriend died of cancer. I can dress like a ghost and run around in the house and Doug can be dressed as a ghostbuster and goes, I'm buying it. Yeah, ghosts, he.

[Michael]

Anything.

[Greg]

Don't cross your face.

[Dick Toledo]

Be good running around in white sheets in the house, you know, ghost quote unquote. Come on.

[Brett]

And Doug looking at the guys in sheets going, I'd buy that.

[Greg]

You see the ghost is riding on a horse.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's gonna look great riding on a horse and is all flaming torch. No. Although I do like the haunted part. There's some. There's too much technicality there. The guy's got to do this in like a couple hours. There's a lot of fun ideas here and most of them are horrible anyway. What are you going to do? Trump was inaugurated yesterday. That's everybody's big, big story and a lot going on with that Melania. I thought I, I thought I picked that out of the. The minute I saw her walk out, I'm like, damn, she's a good looking woman. You just. She's a very handsome lady. She's got. She just striking. When she walked out, I initially, I got up real early and I don't know why, and just turned it on. I'm like, oh, they're starting all right. It was dark and I think it was. I don't know, I was up until like three, and then I got up again about 6:30 and it was on already. It was like nine. I'm like, Jesus, not even light here yet. They're already starting this stuff. And she came out of wherever they were. Blair House, I think it was the White House guest house. That's another thing. Real quick. We as taxpayers, if Trump's gonna get rid of some stuff, isn't the White House big enough to have a couple of guests in it? What's with the Blair House?

[Dick Toledo]

Airbnb, that thing, you know, let's get.

[Brett]

A couple money back, man.

[Greg]

They could make some money on the.

[Brett]

Other house we use when Trump can't go in. Look, I know Biden and Trump aren't best friends, but that thing's big enough that you could. I know plenty of people in marriages where one person sleeps on one side and on the other. And it's only like 1800 square feet. This White House, you stuff the Trumps in one end and the Bidens in the other and they won't see each other. We could save money on this other house we're paying for. The Blair House.

[Greg]

Is it always occupied?

[Brett]

I think the vice president stays there a lot, but I don't know for sure. That doesn't need to happen either. Vice president can live in the other end of the White House. Let's renovate things like 80,000 square feet. Get some residential up there for the vice president to put a divider in. Make sure that they can't get a.

[Greg]

Hell of a basement.

[Brett]

No common walls. It's gotta have. Look, Bush, remember George Bush built a bowling alley in the bottom where the pool used to be is now like the White House briefing room. We can do Reno on this thing. Obama put in a basketball court. Shut up, Brett.

[Dick Toledo]

It's true.

[Brett]

But yeah, the White House is 55,000 square feet, six floors. You have the vice president 132 rooms. It's unnecessary to have how many bathrooms a second house doesn't say that now. They might do it in case the White House blows up. You can't have the vice president and president in there at the same time. But if the White House blows up, we get bigger problems.

[Dick Toledo]

35 Brady, 35 bathrooms.

[Brett]

I don't know what's going on there.

[Greg]

And 16. So out of the 132 rooms, 16 are family guest rooms.

[Michael]

It's good to be back. I just wanted to let everybody know. It's great, great idea, John. Get rid of the Blair and get rid of that Vice President's. But I will say, have you seen J.D. vance? Have you seen him? He and his wife.

[Greg]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

Can't have him in the White House all the time with a common wall. The whole place will smell like curry. I don't want the house to smell like that. It's already bad enough trying to wash out the Kamala and she didn't even live there. It smells like urine and applesauce right now. We're working on it. I can't imagine the mix of curry. And we're going to keep Blair house.

[Brett]

For a little while.

[Michael]

Thanks though.

[Brett]

But yeah, I just. So anyway, she pops out of Blair House in these and I don't notice women's shoes too often. This lady's shoes were 8, 9 inches long. She just gracefully walked out of there. I'm like, that is magnificent looking. They were be probably 10 or $15,000 shoes. They were just for the heels. Unreal. Just amazing. So, so I look and I'm like, oh, she's got the hamburglar's hat on. And then I giggled to myself. Next thing you know, the whole world thought the same thing. Like everybody saw the hamburglar. And I'm like, I thought that was a unique thought in my own brain. Nope, that's how popular the hamburglar is, is that it wasn't the last time.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought about the hamburglar until you said that.

[Brett]

It is so ingrained. That was less about like, hey, that's my joke and more about the idea where I'm watching this thing and thinking everyone associates that hat with the hamburglar because we have been brainwashed by McDonald's with their imagery to not, not see it. You see a hat like that Hamburglar, our brains go right to it. Amazing.

[Greg]

That low profile hat was smart by her because it blocked every possible.

[Brett]

Every kiss. I love the kiss attempts. They were great. The other thing I was a little upset about with the. Before we get into like the meat of the bone, there is Melania. Shoes, like I mentioned were very tall and whatever. When Trump did his initial inauguration speech, which by the way, Trump fans may have loved. That is not. That's not an inaugural address. That was a victory lap. That was a braggadocious.

[Michael]

I'm going to fix the world. And here's this guy to my. To my left is an asshole.

[Greg]

It was a roast.

[Brett]

It was a roast.

[Dick Toledo]

But do you expect anything less?

[Brett]

I do. From the inaugural address. Somebody writes that he wasn't off the cuff. So somebody writes that. And it's supposed to be, you know, quotes like ask not, but, you know, the country thing and the gleaming the light on the hill and the thousand. You know, you're always supposed to have a thing. His was basically me.

[Michael]

God saved me so I could make America great again.

[Brett]

So I'm like, don't say that. Because a guy died that day. Anybody who believes that God said, move. If God could stop the bullet from hitting him, why didn't he stop the sniper? Also, why did the fireman have to die? It doesn't make sense to bring your stupid God into say so that made me nervous a little bit. I'm like, all right, let's not go down these roads. He went and did another speech down.

[Greg]

Did you feel better, though, that he didn't put his hand on the Bible or anything like that?

[Brett]

Well, he doesn't have to.

[Greg]

You don't have to. The first in a while that haven't.

[Brett]

JD does it. But anyway, he goes down the stairs from his inaugural address and gives this kind of off the cuff speech to a bunch of supporters. And that was on tv, too. And it was hilarious. Like, immediately the real Trump came out and like, that inaugural address was you cooling it. The next thing was hilarious. He goes down.

[Michael]

He's like, just got done speaking to a group of people, a lot uglier. There's a much better looking and younger crowd, I'll tell you that.

[Brett]

And it was great. So then he starts, that was the.

[Greg]

Only one I saw that was great.

[Brett]

He starts to talk about Melania's shoes and how her feet are killing her and she's such a trooper. Little later on, I'm watching, they're walking through this, like, dining area, and he stops to talk to someone and she pats him on the ass, like, let's go. And so then she plops right down. They go to the next thing, gives him a little tug on his hand. Let's go. Sits down. They go to this next speech he's got to give. There's one chair on the whole stage, she's in it. And I'm like, bitch, are you being inconvenienced by your husband being, you know, inaugurated as the. It's your bad decision to wear the stupid shoes. Yeah. Don't make it his problem.

[Greg]

Good point.

[Brett]

Tapping him on the ass. Like, let's go. You're. You're wasting my time. I hurt.

[Greg]

Put the hocus on and put some.

[Brett]

Slippers on and quit acting like this is at all about you. Burgle, burgle, burgle. Get over there and sit down and shut up. I've got president to do. She had the nerve to give him a tap on the ass. Like, Stop talking to that guy. My feet hurt. He's busy, lady. And you know he had to call ahead. You know when that. In the beast. On the drive from place to place.

[Michael]

It is not my fault. You chose those shoes. You have to. I'm sorry.

[Brett]

No. We have to go home. I cannot die. I can't go home.

[Michael]

You knew this when we started. You put those on and knew that.

[Greg]

Was the tear coming down from her face watching the Bidens go away in a helicopter. Oh, they're done.

[Brett]

Their day's over. He gets a nap now. Yeah. Another one. But. Yeah. You can't. You can't do that and then have. Like him.

[Michael]

All right. Can someone put a chair on the stage? My wife's feet.

[Brett]

He's hurt. He had to.

[Dick Toledo]

Women.

[Brett]

You do realize that you make everything about you.

[Dick Toledo]

It's a typical broad move.

[Brett]

It's not just her.

[Dick Toledo]

It's everyone out there.

[Brett]

That made me uncomfortable, that made me feel good. That even he. Right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Had. After an hour and a half of a day that she knew was going to last about 17 hours, she chose shoes that lasted an hour and then made it his problem.

[Greg]

You're not making me feel special.

[Brett]

Right. And he made it his problem. Taps on the ass. Pulling on his arm. Your feet hurt because of you. Don't make it his. Solve your own problem. Oh, Is he going to talk to everybody? Yes. And guess what? You knew when the day started. Jackass. But she did look hot. And that family of his. I'll tell you what. They say things that are horrible.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco. And Wayne.

[Brett]

Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and.

[Larry McFeely]

The air's blowing kind of cool, but.

[Brett]

It really smells like a basement. What can I do about that? Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked, serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps.

[Diane Fisher]

The air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.

[Brett]

Nice.

[Larry McFeely]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Brett]

Not at all. It takes about an hour. And in most cases, we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco.

[Larry McFeely]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[Brett]

A whole lot more.

[Diane Fisher]

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[Jordan]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[Brett]

The best part too, when he went through this one part. I loved yesterday so much and I've never sat through as much as I sat through an inauguration.

[Michael]

Stand up Don Jr. Don Jr. What a guy. He's running this. He's doing that.

[Brett]

He's got this going.

[Michael]

Eric Trump, look at you. You're really blah blah blah. And my boy Barron Barron, who knows just about everything there is to know about the young vote. We won that by a lot. And Barron was like, you got to do these pot go do Joe Rogan. And we did. And Baron was right. He really gets the market. And Tiffany's got a baby.

[Brett]

And that was it.

[Michael]

Tiffany, she's got a baby growing in her.

[Brett]

That was her accomplishment, is that she got knocked up and she stood up and waved and sat back down like, God damn.

[Michael]

You've never done a thing, Tiffany, not once, except for take a raw dog.

[Brett]

And get your ovaries hosed.

[Michael]

Congratulations.

[Brett]

At first. Yeah, she shows that.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Brett]

I mean, the accolades for in laws Jared Kushner. And that was the thing he did right before Tiffany.

[Michael]

Jared Kushner, the husband of my great daughter, he negotiated the Lincoln Accord, which is a great big deal. It's a huge deal. Great negotiator. Great negotiator. We need more of that. And Tiffany has a baby in her belly.

[Brett]

And that was it. All she's done is get pregnant. And I did watch most of it.

[Greg]

On msnbc, you know, when he came into the crowd, young, beautiful out there. And. Okay, yeah. And now five minutes is. Oh, my gosh, he'll go forever here.

[Brett]

Yeah. And. And Milani was sitting down, so maybe that's why he goes on.

[Greg]

Let her rest.

[Brett]

Because she's got to rest. Those. I got this.

[Michael]

Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll stall, I'll stretch. Baby, I got you back.

[Brett]

I got you back.

[Michael]

No problem. A lot of people say I talk too long, but it's. Ask Melania, she says it's not long enough. Melania, our first lady. Everybody loves her except for me. Kind of tired of her. Be honest with him. Tired of her. She put shoes on that made my day worse. I don't know how that happened. Out of somebody else's shoes. Make your day bad. And it's working over here.

[Greg]

And you hear the news, you know, covering both sides. It's kind of fun again to surf. But, you know, the big thing that was going on on Fox was the point that, oh, they were. He's walking the stage, pardoning people by 15 minutes.

[Brett]

He's signing executive orders as a show. People watched a man sign papers and cheer wahoo. And one of them he signed yesterday has got everybody going crazy, which is the official government recognition of only two genders. Now, that doesn't mean that across the board, you're not going to see non binary, prefer not to say on the gender question.

[Greg]

Yeah, right.

[Brett]

So that's basically all it is, is on government things like your driver's license and whatever, you're either a biological man or a biological woman. You either got sperm or you got eggs. That's basically what it's come down to. I personally think that's just fine that if you're good, and here's the other thing, if you're good enough at it, swap a ruin or dressing up as the other, you can check whatever you want. Nobody's gonna know. But if you don't identify with either, make something up. Because they said their argument yesterday and there was like, well, this is transphobia and people are now going to be discriminated against because of it. I'm like, wouldn't it be easier for me if I was transphobic to discriminate against you on a piece of paper that said you weren't sure or preferred not to answer? It's harder for me to discriminate against you if I haven't seen you yet and you just mark male or female, I'm not gonna check. But if you wrote down prefer not to answer or non binary other or other, now I can discriminate against you if I'm. So to me, it's the opposite argument that if I was a trans, I would want only two boxes because I know if I mark a third, if the guy hiring doesn't like that, he's just going to put me aside and I won't know why. And you can really actually check the box. Male come in dressed as a woman. And if they don't hire you, then you're like, I know why you didn't do this. I know now you've actually got a case. It doesn't make sense to me. It's transphobic, they said. And when we're being erased that way we don't fall into binaries. It's violence towards the community. I don't. The thing that says the word identifies as will be off of all those things or prefer not to specify. It says, of course we are worried that we'll see more violence in our schools or workplaces. Something that scares us is people will be scared back into the closet, forced back into the closet. I'm not understanding that argument at all. How does checking a box make somebody angrier to where they're going to be violent? Where if somebody's going to be violent, it's going to be because they're. They're looking at you, not because they saw your paperwork. Right.

[Greg]

Well, on your license you said you're.

[Brett]

Mad, you're fighting for this and I got to beat you up. I have no idea what you're. What you're checking boxes as if I'm a lunatic that's going to be violent towards someone because they. They aren't falling into my norms. It has nothing to do with you checking the box. Other. And then I'm gonna go seek you out. It doesn't make sense because yesterday I dealt with somebody who's in transition. They're fine. You know, I honestly don't know which direction it was coming from and which way it was going. I'm pretty sure it was a woman to a male, but it could have been a male to a woman. Here's the thing. Did a great job helping me out with what I needed, so I don't care. I have no idea. But I didn't go, where's your government paperwork so I can see what box you check so I know how I can react. You're trying to save yourself from lunatics that were gonna react no matter what. So to me, I think it saves violence. I'll hear other arguments, but I think it saves violence on a piece of paper when you just check one box and make it up. When's the last time you. Brett, when's the last time you went in and filled out a thing? It said gender male, and you clicked it, and then you had to go in another room and prove it?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Never happened yet.

[Brett]

Ever. So I understand that everybody wants their way and everything else. You want to have this uniqueness about you, but guess what? None of you are that unique. Neither am I.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not Crocodile Dundee. That's a shield, right?

[Brett]

Nobody's doing the check. And if somebody discriminates against you, there's already laws against that. It has nothing to do with which box you check. And by the way, break it down. You were born one or the other. Unless you weren't. And I know hermaphrodites are the only ones with that issue saying, I got both. And then they have to decide what they're gonna do. I don't hear a lot from hermaphrodites. I don't hear a lot of. I don't hear a lot of barking from them going, we actually have a beef that we don't get a checked box that just says hermaphrodite. Cause you know what? They'd rather not let people in on that. That's kind of their own little thing. If I had a vagina next to my balls and I looked exactly like I do now, I'd be like, nobody needs to know about that other thing. Male. Even though I could get pregnant. Male. Might shock the world someday, but.

[Michael]

Male.

[Brett]

So that Was a big one, and everybody's losing their minds. I don't think anything comes of it. I think it's just anger for the sake of not getting your way. And your way doesn't seem to be benefiting or a lack of benefit. Just, you know, the world needs to be more accepting of people just being what they are, and that's fine. But again, if you're an asshole in a dress and you're a man, I don't care if you're an asshole dressed. However you're dressed, it doesn't matter what box you check, you're just an asshole. We should have a thing that says asshole, not an asshole.

[Michael]

How about that?

[Brett]

And then you just look in there. Feeling a little bit like an asshole today. I think I'm gonna knock this one out. I'm an asshole today. Anyway, people argue that it's not an act of transphobic practices, but a move to streamline the government process us. It's one less file, and I'm all for that. And it is a common sense thing. So I get it if you're trans, but again, you're part of, like, 0.10000000%. There's a bit of adapting that. That needs to be. That's like, look, if you're. If you're a dude in a dress and you come in the room, then. I know. I've never once seen paperwork on anybody, so. But then the government will know. Government already knows. You know how the government knows? All those snapshots you take in your phone that you think they don't see. They see that giant building they built up in Utah that's bigger than any other building in the world, and it happens to be underground. And it's just for storage of what we put on our phones. They know. I get it. And then the other stupid thing that. I thought this was really dumb. Changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America is just unnecessary. That is just a simple design of stupid. You want to streamline stuff, and then you do that and make work out of nothing. It doesn't. Nobody was. Nobody was ever upset that that was called Gulf of Mexico at all. Not at all. In fact, it's beautiful, from what I hear.

[Greg]

A little, you know, we found a little more appealing.

[Brett]

Go for Mexico.

[Greg]

Almost like tropical in a way. Whereas Gulf of America changes it up.

[Brett]

Sounds like it's got trash floating.

[Greg]

Yeah, it sounds like it's an amusement park.

[Brett]

Yeah. Because when I think America, I think Mexico, you know, Sometimes I Think of, like, mullet. I think of Brazil and all the crap at Central America. I don't want that. It just sounds like a. Like a. Like all of our garbage floated here. I like Gulf of Mexico, and I think Mexico's a dump, but that sounds nice because it's my image of. That is nice. Gulf of America.

[Greg]

But we grew up with it, so in.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, maybe a new generation, but. And then changing Mount McKinley back is also kind of rude. But in fairness, that's not one we stole. The Russians did. We bought it from them. We didn't steal Alaska. Well, that's not on that. We didn't do that one. We bought it from the people who did steal it. And that's different. That isn't.

[Dick Toledo]

Bought stolen merchandise.

[Brett]

Yeah, kind of, sort of. When the Russians like this belongs to us and we're running into a little financial problem, if Mr. Seward would be interested in. I buy your stolen property. What do you want? Just a few million dollars? Some rabbit pelts? You got it. You have to keep all the Eskimos. Not a problem.

[Michael]

What's this bump called?

[Brett]

Denali. Not anymore. It's nuts. McKinley now. All right, you got a deal there, Ruski. So that one. You can't sit back and go, oh, it's manifest Destiny, and it swamped over the country, and we stole land from people who had it. Not really. The Russians already did it. We just bought it from them. That one doesn't count at all. Not even a little bit. Craig says, I was waiting to hear Trump say yesterday, no biological male will.

[Michael]

Compete in sports against women.

[Brett]

And he said, did that come up? It did. Not in that way. But by changing that box, it kind of starts that ball rolling to say, you can't have men and women's sports, which I'm all for. And I don't know what woman is fighting for that.

[Dick Toledo]

I think they said he's signing more today, too, so who knows?

[Brett]

Last night, today. It's bananas. Yeah.

[Greg]

And I was saying there are. So both Biden and Trump were signing stuff before last.

[Brett]

Well, the pardons. The pardons were huge. Yeah, that was a big one. But these. The executive order things that just like, we're gonna get these going today. And some of them are great. Some of them are terribly stupid. Gulf of America and Mount McKinley, totally off the. Zero priority to that at all. But here we go.

[Michael]

I'm back, baby. And I got a lot of pens.

[Brett]

Did you see him chucking pens at people, too? Doing, like, who goes to the rally?

[Michael]

He said, here's another one I'm signing, getting rid of that old gender nonsense. Here's a pen.

[Brett]

And he chucks it into the crowd because every bill gets a new pen. Those pens look awesome, by the way. And his signature, there's no way he's writing Donald John Trump. There are way too many letters in his signature. It takes him forever to write Don Trump. I mean, it is a process and it's huge. I even googled his signature afterwards and I'm like, well, let me see if I can see what he's writing. The Donald comes up. I don't even think he puts John in there. And then Trump has like nine bumps in the middle of it. And it's just a five letter word. It's got 20 different letters in it. When he signs it, he just doesn't want to stop writing his own name. And then he puts the P on it and it's a huge ending.

[Greg]

Did you buy any Strump Bitcoin?

[Brett]

Oh, no. I heard that went gangbusters though. That's fine.

[Dick Toledo]

Too bad it's not like docusign where you just click once and then just. There's your signature.

[Brett]

Yeah, you click on the little yellow dot.

[Dick Toledo]

Completed.

[Brett]

Here we go. Done.

[Michael]

Brett, if that was the case, I could sign 3, 400 things a day right now. I got a little carpal tunnel. I got to get Melania home because she wore snow boots.

[Brett]

Yeah. Ladies, let this be a. Let Melania's Hamburglar outfit yesterday be a lesson to you. Your shoes. This is a great phrase. Your shoes are not my problem. That would be a title of a book I would write for saving marriages. Your shoes are not our issue. If you chose to wear stupid shoes because you thought they looked great, but you knew they were functionless, that's your fault. That's why in Las Vegas at 11:00 at night, women in slut dresses are always carrying their shoes.

[Michael]

Morning sickness. Disgusting.

[Brett]

They say things that are horrible. Updated. Holmberg's morning sickness. It's never if they look so great, but they only last 15 minutes. You have to think ahead of how stupid you're gonna look carrying them around. Did you know where they don't look? Hands. It's dumb. Be functional, you guys. You think we look hot in them and that. Yeah, but we think you look hot for a second because that's all it lasts. We don't want to hang out with you in those. The last thing I want is a pair of six inch heels sitting next to me and being my responsibility because all I'm gonna hear about. Is complaining.

[Greg]

Supposed to be a night without complaining, right?

[Brett]

That's my gift. Oh, that's a. That's my birthday gift every year for the last.

[Dick Toledo]

No complaining.

[Brett]

You have. You have the right to zip it on my birthday. Zero complaints. If you're cold, keep it to yourself. If you didn't like your dinner, shut your mouth.

[Dick Toledo]

Does it work?

[Brett]

It's worked so far. Yeah, it's been nice. Occasionally a slip up. Which kind of is funny.

[Dick Toledo]

Keeper.

[Brett]

Then you realize. Then you realize, oh, you know how often. I'm sorry. Put on some reasonable goddamn shoes. Or how about this? Can we get one industrious broad out there that builds good looking shoes that are also comfortable? Can we get somebody out there who does this? Men force us to wear those shoes. No, we don't. We like looking at them for a second. The last thing we want to do is hang out with somebody in those shoes. We know you learn after the first time, but you said it the best.

[Dick Toledo]

Even the president goes through what we go through.

[Brett]

Exactly. It made me feel good that on his. That's a huge day for someone, especially somebody who had such a resurrection politically that this, this is history. He's one of two in the. In the history of our country that has been demolished and rebuilt in the same group. Like a lot of guys have fallen off and come back. This is a place you don't do that. And there he was. And she decided to wear shoes that made it so he had to be. He had to think about it. Bring a second box. Put it in the. Let those puppies breathe. Stop calling ahead for chairs because you decided because you're a fashionista. I didn't see anybody else complaining.

[Greg]

I wonder at what time she did the Irish fade.

[Brett]

She was there last night dancing with us. Yeah, I flipped over during the Shinedown concert that was on in between. They were playing some football. But when they played bully 177 times during the championship game, I couldn't take it. Flipped over and there they are at some ball doing a dance.

[Dick Toledo]

Was she wearing flip flops by that point?

[Brett]

She was in a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm done.

[Brett]

I'm. I'm done.

[Michael]

Donald, this is ridiculous.

[Brett]

Jeremy says your lack of preparation does not constitute an emergency for me. Exactly.

[Dick Toledo]

Said every man.

[Brett]

Exactly. You know, she's not an attractive person, but I noticed Joe Biden's shoes were orthotic. And not one little peep out of her. She walked over with Joe. She stood next to him. But Melanie's Shoes up there.

[Dick Toledo]

She has some shape ups on.

[Brett]

John, I have a question for you. Who's faster in nine inch heels? Melania, Michael Phelps or a manatee? What's Brady's take that's true? I don't know. I would imagine that we'd get the manatee and the Melania on the same shoes. Those shoes are not our fault, ladies. Not at all. They're your fault. You deal with it. And you know what we'd love to hear? Tap us on the shoulder and go, I've made a terrible decision. I take full responsibility for this. These shoes are killing me. What's the best option for me to make it so you're not embarrassed right now? Could you imagine how hard you'd get if personal responsibility came with those shoes for a second? You'd be like, you know what? Go have a seat. Totally understand. I'll be right behind you. I just got to take care of some stuff.

[Dick Toledo]

As Kurt Vesley would say, wishing one hand s in the other and see which one gets filled up faster.

[Brett]

There's also that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brett]

It'S hilarious. But your shoes aren't our issue, ma'am. But they lose their minds over it. Broads drives you nuts. And they do look good. But let me tell you this, ladies. Every time you come out of the bad first lady. Oh, my God. Is that Melania naked?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

God damn, that's back in the day. But still.

[Dick Toledo]

Nice kill.

[Michael]

Yeah, that's great. Look how glazed she is. You're welcome. Very shiny. That's because of me.

[Brett]

But the. When you come out of the bedroom and you're in the heels, we're like, ba boo. That looks great. Now, what we as men have done wrong in years is say that. That it looks good. Those are amazing. Instead of saying, those shoes are stupid. What? I think these are $4,000. I don't know. They're stupid. And maybe we do think they look great because we're visual, but we need to be more honest about, like, those are gonna ruin my night. We need to be smarter ourselves. Those shoes may look good now they're gonna ruin my night. I'll just take them off. I don't want to walk around with you with circle K feet dressed like a million bucks. There's nothing about you, you know, walking around barefoot for the rest of the night.

[Greg]

You're gonna ruin our night.

[Brett]

My night. Something's probably gonna ruin her night anyway. My night is definitely going south with those shoes. How about this? Bring those shoes with, and when we come back to the house, Hike your skirt up and put those things back on and walk back in. Now, those shoes serve a purpose. You walking around the Rah Rah room in those 1012 steps. Trust me, when I dressed as Tina Turner for the night of the Singing Dead, I had four inch heels. I wore them the day before. This is not so bad. I can do this. Clunking around for a little while. Calves started to burn a little bit. About an hour and a half in, I took them off. All right, I got this. I can do hours. So next day, and I got warned by ladies, do not pre wear them. Like, I didn't know that. Put them on the next day. And it was like somebody just said, oh, you want to do this again? You might as well take a sledgehammer to the top of my foot, crushed it, put it in. I lasted about 13 minutes, could not keep them on. I was gonna die, so I took them off. And I swear to you, for two months, my fourth toe and pinky toe were dead numb. I'm not kidding. It was at least 60 days before the full feeling came back. So they cram into this little point at the bottom. It was pointless. Ruined my night. But at least I didn't say, you know whose fault this is. The person I'm with. I put my foot in that shoe. I made that decision. I screwed my own night out. Will one of you ladies invent a shoe that looks good and is functional, please? Because if you say you're doing it for us, we're not interested anymore. It's not that great. Take a picture in them. Fantastic. These are not for ambulatory purposes. Once you have to start walking around. Take those off, put on some pennies, do something nice. Enough with your stupid shoes.

[Dick Toledo]

Donovan just wrote in. Brett, Jesus Christ. Call 911. John is having a stroke or something because he thinks a woman's gonna take personal responsibility. What's happening to him?

[Brett]

I'm with you, Donovan. All I said was, wouldn't it be nice? I didn't actually think it was possible. Look, I can think and dream of unicorns. I know they're not real, but yeah, put some shoes and do not. I was mad at Melania. As hot as she looked. That Trump family, it's a good group. And baron is what, 75, 76?

[Dick Toledo]

Sean Bradley.

[Brett]

I mean, he's Sean Bradley. I agree. Someday he's going to be our gigantic president, whether we like it or not. Being president. Now, listen, the other thing I really enjoyed yesterday was the golf cart driven by a woman that almost Killed Ryan Day, coach of Ohio State Buckeyes, because she ran right into a wall for no reason at all. Like, the wall was. Like she was Wile E. Coyote and she thought a tunnel was there. Crushed it. Nearly killed. Nearly killed the coach. And I'm sure the second she did it, one of those two cruddy bands started playing Bully by Shinedown because they couldn't stop. I think they went for the record. Did Guinness watch the game last night and say, two more and you've got it. Okay, we gotta get Bully out a few more times. The worst. The worst. Outside of that. Sorry to all the Lions fans out there. That can't be easy. All the years and years and years of not even being close. And this year you've got what is arguably one of the best teams I've watched play football in a long time as far as entertainment and fun. And you look like you're on the right track. And you get dropped by a rookie quarterback on a team that won four games last year, ooh, that's bad. You're becoming the successful Browns. Ouch. And you're going to lose your coach. And again, as everybody says it, and my friend Jordan, who I'm sure is out there right now, a Chiefs fan, you can sit and root for all these other teams to go, and the Bills are looking good and this and that. Meanwhile, there's a wink and a nod in Kansas City. It's like, we got this. Don't you worry about it.

[Dick Toledo]

It's a wink from Goodell.

[Brett]

They just went. Now, again, Chiefs fans, you got to be honest with yourselves. There was a couple of, you probably would have won the game anyway, but there was a couple little moments in there where you're like, thank God we're the ones with Mahomes. Because every other team in the league bitches and cries if a flag gets thrown on that call. Other than Chiefs fans, Chiefs fans are the only ones that kind of put their hands over their eyes and said, seems like a penalty to me. The rest of the world said, all right, that's taking advantage of the rule. They have got to get rid of the protect the quarterback rule. Once he's running, they have to. Because nothing about the slide or dropping down protects the quarterback at all. Because a dude coming at you, if you decide to slide late, and we've seen it, Trevor Lawrence almost got his head taken off because of that protective move. If you told them, we're not going to protect you out there anymore. Even if you slide, you're going to get Hit. It's too fast. Game's too fast. We're asking too much of these guys on defense. They'd stop running. They would second guess the idea of, like, well, I'll just run for a few feet and then slide and nobody can hit me. Me, they'd stop. It would be. The game would be more competitive. Mahomes is dancing around making people miss, and then realizes, oh, I'm going to get hit. And he just starts to fall down. Two Houston Texans hit each other in the head, and Patrick Mahomes got the call, and it kept the drive alone. So Chiefs fans, you know, you get a little bit of a benefit, a little bit of the Jordan rule, a little bit of the Brady role coming to humps and by the way, sort of earned it. But if you're looking at it starting.

[Greg]

To wear thin, though.

[Brett]

Oh, it's. Well, it always wears thin with the dynasty. When you start seeing not only are they good, they're getting the brakes.

[Greg]

All right, it's gone too far.

[Brett]

They'll beat you with. The thing about the Patriots that always made me mad was they would have beat you without all the cheating and without all the refs breaks and without the tuck rule. And tuck rule is the only one they would have lost. But because they got those calls, you're like, well, well, Jesus. Now you're playing two different groups. I don't think the Texans beat the Chiefs, but I also have to. You have to acknowledge as a Chiefs fan, oh, we got a couple of good ones there. And it's, you know, you can. Everyone argues that their team does, but there's certain times you're like, that was a bad call. We got a break. And you can't. You can't say that the players are dumb. They got to drop Patrick Mahomes. He did that about 10 times this year. Looked like he was going to run out of bounds and saw the defender back off just enough and then cuts for about five more. You gotta crush him. Anyway, Chiefs look like they're gonna play the Bills in Kansas City. That's gonna happen and then don't know what everybody's gonna be rooting like. I think this Bill's team's got. I think the Chiefs just have that puppeteer. They've got it figured out or they can just kind of. We'll get through it. What do you want to do? You want to play a running game? Okay, we can do that. We'll see. I was looking forward to Bill's line. Lions Loser Bowl 1, because those are two teams that are just sad. And the Bills, for so many reasons. I do. Oh, my God. And then to have the Bills go in and play the Lions, who have been terrible since the inception, and have those two battle it out for the Lombardi to see who could eff it up first. That's essentially what it would be. I would watch that and be thrilled with it, but it's right around the corner. My pick right now is Eagles. Unless something goofy happens. That seems to be where we're headed again.

[Greg]

Does seem to be leaning that way.

[Brett]

That Eagles team is quietly just. And they're boring. They're just five huge dudes pushing you around all day while Saquon Barkley does whatever he wants. They're boring. But it's. It's what football is at this time of year. See who's stronger and who can push further down the field.

[Dick Toledo]

What are the super bowl colors this year?

[Brett]

It's like a bright. Well, it's New Orleans. I think it's like a pink and a. They got like a pink and green.

[Dick Toledo]

Kind of all the conspiracy. People always say that, you know.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg]

That it has the team colors in there. I don't think it has.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's see.

[Greg]

The closest one would be the cheese.

[Brett]

It's got a yellow and a pinkish red with kind of green and, like, flirt.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Get the whole New Orleans jazzy. What we're saying is it's ugly. It's New Orleans mishmash. Is it Chiefsy?

[Dick Toledo]

It's more. There it is.

[Brett]

I'd see mostly chiefs in that kind of reddish, yellow.

[Dick Toledo]

Green in there, though, too.

[Brett]

There's a little green, but not enough to be the dominant color to make you think Eagles.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that means Chiefs are gonna win.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. It's. Yeah. Well, that's an easy pick. They say things that are horrible. Morning sickness.

[Larry McFeely]

Remember when you had us do our picks the beginning of the year?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Browns, Cowboys.

[Brett]

Who said that?

[Larry McFeely]

These are the four. I didn't. I forgot to write who.

[Brett]

Weren't these the worst possible.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

The ones we would least like to see. Browns, Cowboys, Browns, Lions, Ravens, Cowboys.

[Brett]

That was me.

[Larry McFeely]

I put money on Chargers and Lions.

[Greg]

That was mine.

[Brett]

Chargers, Lions.

[Larry McFeely]

And that was.

[Brett]

Wasn't bad.

[Larry McFeely]

The best odds was Ravens, cowboys at plus 6,000.

[Brett]

Yeah. And I had that. Put a thousand bucks on that, too. And then the Cowboys decided to just pull their pants down and throw a diat. A diarrhea bomb right in the center of the star. Anyway, football. I just let you know. I don't care what happens from Here on. I'm wearing the shirt of dreams, crying Lamar Jackson isn't in the super bowl, and that's all I care about. Sad Harbos and crying Lamar Jackson. There's nothing better we could orphans whose parents were just blown up in some Ukrainian missile attack. And you pull them out and they're like, I will never see my family again. Like, let me show you something here real quick. This is. This is sad John Harbaugh, he's funny. Like, I told you you'd be okay, little fella. Come on.

[Michael]

I still think of my mother, though.

[Brett]

Bleeding out in the kitchen from the bomb. Let me show you something else. This is Lamar Jackson sad after a long off. Okay. Everything will be fine. Yep. You can find family members all diced up and just watch one video of Lamar Jackson crying at the end of a game, and suddenly joy shows up. He's. He's. He radiates joy with his anger and his misery, and I couldn't be happier about it. And right now, I don't care. Like, with the four teams left, I don't care who wins. I don't have any. Like, I don't despise any of the four teams left. I don't care. I honestly just don't care. It would be nice if somebody other than the Chiefs won, but if they want, it's because they deserve it. They're not a hateable dynasty. They're not a team you look at, like, the Patriots. Like, they kind of seem to have earned this in a weird way with. And again.

[Greg]

But I was saying over the week, I mean, it's turned a little bit. You heard more people.

[Brett]

No, they're bored with it. That happens with every team that wins.

[Greg]

Starting to go away. And that's like you said, heard it.

[Larry McFeely]

With the Patriots, though, but it's not even.

[Brett]

It's not even the calls. It's just after a while, you're like, all right, enough of you. So you start to nitpick all the advantages.

[Greg]

You look for it.

[Brett]

But nobody hates the Chiefs outside of Chargers and Raiders fans and stuff in their division. Nobody looks at the Chiefs and just hates them. They're very likable. There's no, you know, Bill Belichick making you go, he's the worst person alive. Tom Brady is just running around with his supermodel wife.

[Greg]

Andy Reid is no Belichick.

[Brett]

No, he's great. He's. Do you think Belichick would have ever gone from Baruski Do. I wouldn't have had happened. He's. He's. Affable. He's likable. I don't want the Chiefs to constantly win, but if they're. If anybody's gonna make it, somebody who's like decent Mahomes seems fine. He's not a dick. Brady sort of was a dick. All the Patriots were sort of dicks. And they also got caught several times massaging the system. The Chiefs haven't done that. If the. If the Chiefs end up with, you know, found out Andy Reid's tape and practices, and the league destroys all the tapes to protect the old tape. A doo. If you found that out, your opinion of this team would change. But they're not. They're just beating people. So we'll see. Football. It's going to be fun. I don't mind if the Bills beat the Chiefs, though. That would be fun, too. I think Josh Allen's another one who's kind of earned the right to be a superstar star. Especially now that he made Lamar Jackson cry. That makes me. If you make Lamar Jackson cry, I might buy your jersey. It's great stuff. Oh, so happy. And you don't run into any Ravens fans that you'd ever want to be friends with anyway.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't think I've ever run into one.

[Brett]

You don't hang around with poor people. Yeah, there's no successful Ravens fan. Yuck. You're from Baltimore. You've made $10 in your entire life. Baltimore's a dump.

[Greg]

I've got one.

[Brett]

I changed the name of Baltimore back. But he lives in Gulf of Mexico.

[Dick Toledo]

I know one.

[Greg]

They're season ticket holders.

[Brett]

Are they. Are they poor?

[Greg]

No, they own a couple dispensaries.

[Larry McFeely]

What member of the fraternity is this guy?

[Brett]

Yeah, that's it.

[Greg]

Mark.

[Brett]

So you know him. You're not like.

[Greg]

You're not Simmons.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, not o comer.

[Brett]

No, he wasn't.

[Greg]

He was just junior high and high school.

[Brett]

Why do you call him Phoebes? Because he's feeble and po. Yep, that is exactly why. From now on. And you're not friends with him. You know him from.

[Greg]

Yeah, I hear from him. Like I heard from.

[Brett]

Right.

[Greg]

Last night.

[Brett]

Congratulations, Ohio State fan. That's great. And you should have text back a picture of Lamar Jackson and said you Phoebe's. I don't like Phoebes. I know it already. He makes terrible decisions in life. He's probably wearing five inch heels right now. He'd be six, ten Woody. Good. Those guys don't live long. That makes me happy. Super tall people die early. Good. Yeah. Nobody likes Ravens fans. There isn't one. Who do you know that's a Ravens fan?

[Dick Toledo]

This guy. The bar Mathia used to work at.

[Brett]

How much does he owe you?

[Dick Toledo]

How much does he owe everybody?

[Brett]

And that's exactly what they are.

[Dick Toledo]

Complete dick.

[Brett]

Yep. Of course they are. They're rape. Is he a dick?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

I rest my case. You can't send me one Ravens fan. Like, this guy's awesome. You're gonna love him. Like, really.

[Larry McFeely]

God damn it, John, you're right. I know 1.

[Brett]

1.

[Larry McFeely]

But I truly question his intelligence every time I'm around it.

[Brett]

Is it Lamar Jackson? Oh, man, you don't have to question. Yeah. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Yeah, it's. It's just there's no such thing as a good Ravens fan. They're just all poor people who will borrow or steal from you. They're gross. They smell like crab meat and dirty, brackish water. You don't see a lot of Orioles fans that you're like pals with. It's a dirty place. It's a dirty place filled with dirty, filthy people. And supporting it is even worse. It's like, even pictures of Baltimore, you know, you see cities, like. You know, just see Baltimore, like a skyline shot. You're like, yuck. I think the prettiest Baltimore ever looked is when that bridge got knocked down. Good. We're tearing some of it out. Good thinking. Yuck. So the Chiefs don't have that, and Kansas City's a dump, but it's not Baltimore bad. It at least has some moment. You could. You could spend a weekend in Kansas City. This place kind of sucks. That's about as far as you'll go. It's not a lot going on here. And people in Kansas City go, there's two. You had the barbecue? Yeah, I've had the barbecue. I'm eating barbecue in front of you, and you're telling me there's more around the corner? I get it. You go to Power and Light. You been down to Power and Light? You mean the Guy Fieri restaurant where there's. Yeah, they got barbecue. Of course they do. There's jazz place up the street. Yep. That sounds good. For what, an hour? Then what? More barbecue. Go get some barbecue. You hadn't been eating for about an hour. My theory when I was in Kansas City was that they haven't paid attention to the sidewalks, and the roots of the trees have ruined all their sidewalks. And then I saw the people who lived there, and I'm like, oh, no. It's just the sheer weight and mass of Kansas City and that crush concrete if they walk on the sidewalk. Sidewalk doesn't stand a chance. But it's still better than Baltimore.

[Greg]

It's weight equally like a table that will.

[Brett]

Yeah, they need. Yeah, they need cushioning and maybe a gimbal under each square of sidewalk so it doesn't just shatter. So that's why I need to know. Anyway, happy Tuesday, everybody. And go whoever. I don't care.

[Greg]

We got a Natty John.

[Brett]

This one says John. You're wrong. Everyone hates the Che. The Chiefs. We're over it. Mahomes and Kelsey and all the BS calls. People hate the Chiefs. We're tired of it. But John, Baltimore is still better than Tucson. Well, yeah, I'm talking about American cities. Yeah, Baltimore still beats Tucson. I'm talking about cities in America. If you want to go worldwide, I can find some places worse than Baltimore. Keep it to the United, United States. Don't drag Tucson into this. Bert, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Dick Toledo]

Wake up Zomb. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And like we've been talking about, it's. It's almost there. A couple more days, a brand new second location of Action Ride shops gonna be open right over there by the Hawes Trail over on Power and McDowell. But in the meantime, head on over to the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Got all the stuff to get you going. Skiing, snowboarding, and of course, hitting the trails. It's all at ActionRide Shop. ActionRideshop.com is where you're gonna find it.

[Brett]

By the way, my friend Jordan, who is from Kansas City, emailed me and. Or text me and he's. I didn't know this. This is actually a great thing. Says Gulf of Mexico is gonna get changed. I didn't see this at all because there's been, you know, laws that have been passed so you're not allowed to drill for oil in the Gulf of Mexico.

[Greg]

Aha.

[Brett]

Ah, well, it all starts making sense now. I didn't know that. And then Jordan and all of his kindness. He's got bedside manner. He's a former doctor until he was drummed out of the industry, it says. That's what I read. Google it. Thanks, doc. Yeah, he's not allowed to be. I don't. I think he killed a bunch of people. He was a chiropractor. Remember Caleb from the Shriners? Oh, yeah. That was Jordan's patient. But he was healthy before and Jordan adjusted him and now he's got brittle bone disease and he can't. People have to cross his legs for him. But he's a Chiefs fan, so we can give him trouble. He's riding high right now. What's on the big Right on the list.

[Dick Toledo]

Got Fear Factory, Static X, Dope, System of A Down, White Snake for John Sykes. Who died.

[Michael]

I saw that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Tool Bill Conti Gonna fly now for Trump, Megadeth, Lamb of God, stp, Corn, Avenge the Hives. Walk, idiot. Walk for Biden. And madness our house for Doug Hopkins.

[Brett]

Yeah, I like that. I don't want to say walk, idiot, walk for Biden because you spelled Biden wrong and it makes us look dumb.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, he would too. So it doesn't matter.

[Brett]

He probably couldn't write.

[Dick Toledo]

Great song.

[Brett]

I don't let you pick it.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's do that.

[Brett]

Walk, idiot, walk. I'm all fine. Good work. Doug Hopkins is also texting and says he's purchased two haunted houses that he knows of. Really? That's what he says. There's no such thing, but sure.

[Greg]

He was told.

[Brett]

Oh, and by the way, Jordan, the doctor just texted in and said Caleb. So he's. Yeah, he's still bitter about the.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow. Bedside Manor is his strong point.

[Brett]

Yeah, there's a reason he's doing real estate stuff now. That dude's funny. He's a very funny person. After he tried to kill Caleb, he just found a sense of humor and you can't beat him. It's pretty good. Anyway, I didn't know that Gulf of Mexico, Gulf of America thing, though. That makes sense. I always thought. And just say it though. Why. Why be. Why act like it's some sort of a, you know, a flag waving moment? Call it Gulf of America. You can drill. That's pretty smart. They don't include like and any other name you call it, right? Or longitude, latitude. I mean, they do that with everything. Like, my will and trust is like, it's. Everything's assumed. Like, you know, this is going to. Blah, blah, blah, and Brady will receive this property and anything else in this in the future. Any purchases that are not included in this by name are assumed in this. Like, everything is. Is. Is covered. I mean, the bases are covered. That's Trajan. Maybe that's it. Maybe Trajan should have done the last executive order because those bases would have been covered no matter what you name it.

[Greg]

Which now brings up a. It's a great question. What happens if that person changes their name?

[Brett]

Oh, geez. I don't know. Probably assumptions. I don't know. Yeah, like if you decided to change to Bodina Budgerina, yeah. And you're in my will as Brady Bogan or any assumed name. Just a DNA test. That's always the guy that you knew. I meant it said, does that mean we're going to drill up there in Denali also? Is that what that mountain was called for a while?

[Greg]

I don't know.

[Brett]

They changed the name of Mount McKinley to the original.

[Greg]

I think Denali's the National.

[Brett]

That is the big one. Yeah, but what's the name of that mountain up there in Alaska? They changed back to McKinley.

[Larry McFeely]

Denali.

[Brett]

It's Denali.

[Greg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's the Denali National.

[Larry McFeely]

A few years ago, they changed it from McKinley to Denali.

[Brett]

Yeah, And I didn't remember that. And I knew they did it, but I didn't care because I'm. I got my own problems. But does that mean we. Did we sign a thing that says we can't drill on Denali and now it's Mount McKinley again, so we can blow it up.

[Michael]

I just want to blow stuff up. What can't we blow up because of engines?

[Brett]

Frack it, Denali. All right.

[Michael]

The Eskimos will be mad. Call it Mount McKinley and we can blow it up again. Let's do it. We're going to blow up a lot of stuff. Remember when we said we couldn't drill on Fiestawa Peak? Well, it's Squaw Peak again. And drill, baby, drill.

[Brett]

He did go on yesterday a little bit about strangling a guy, and I thought that was hilarious.

[Michael]

You know, a lot of people said on Jan.6 that I reached forward and I tried to. I tried to fight the. So the security and the one guy, you know, like. I guess it's actually credit. I strangled one and then one who's got a neck the size of my torso. I evidently tried to take him down, too. So I guess it's a People believe it. That's kind of credit to me, even though it never happened. Fiction.

[Brett]

But he started to talk about after that story. But he was fantasizing about strangling a guy.

[Michael]

And I could have done it, too. I. But it probably would have laid waste of Melania. Wasn't he bigger than me, do you think?

[Brett]

Melania.

[Greg]

Melania calls me sir or something like that.

[Michael]

Whatever. She's mad she calls me sir. That's not true.

[Brett]

That's right.

[Michael]

I made that up just now for laughs. But that's.

[Brett]

She said.

[Michael]

She looked at me and she said sir. Because that's what she calls me when she's mad. Kidding. I'm doing a whole bunch of jokes.

[Brett]

It was a festive feeling yesterday. It was a. I'm sure if you're a trans person, you're probably not thinking.

[Michael]

That, but, I mean, how many of.

[Brett]

Those am I talking to? But it did feel kind of like optimistic in its oddness. And maybe that's just because it was a crowd of sycophants and cheering. I mean, I don't know. Trans people probably sitting there going, yeah, sure, now I gotta check male or female again. Again. But that's okay. You'll be all right. Nobody's going to discriminate against you because of your box. I mean, your lack of a box. I think Dr. Jordan still does that surgery at the day's end, but he's not. If you want to go see him, he'll give you a box discount. Box, as he calls it. Let's do it. Walk, idiot, walk. Who's got it?

[Larry McFeely]

I got it.

[Brett]

All right. Ready to go? It's the hives. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.