01-21-26 - Alex Emails In That He Trains In The Blade And Wonders If Those Girls Could Play In WNBA - New Segment 'This Bitch Here' As Woman Sues Doctors After Her IVF Treatment Produces Baby w/Asian Features

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Title: 01-21-26 - Alex Emails In That He Trains In The Blade And Wonders If Those Girls Could Play In WNBA - New Segment 'This Bitch Here'
Air Date: January 21, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

---

Episode Overview

This episode showcases the irreverent and often controversial humor of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness. The crew tackles two main discussion threads:

1. An email from Alex about recruiting athletic “Blade” streetwalkers for the WNBA.
2. The debut of a tongue-in-cheek segment titled “This Bitch Here,” focusing on a Florida woman's lawsuit after her IVF treatment resulted in a baby with unexpected Asian features.
   The show blends dark humor, satirical social commentary, and personal anecdotes, staying true to its aim to entertain, question, and occasionally disturb listeners.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Alex’s Email: Recruiting WNBA Talent from “The Blade”

• [00:08 – 03:08]
• Alex writes in that he’s been training in "the Blade" district (notorious for prostitution), observing that many women there are “tall and super athletic.”
• Holmberg riffs on the idea, picturing a WNBA team built from streetwise, tough women with raw athleticism, suggesting they’d be unbeatable defensively, even if not the highest scoring:

  “Wouldn’t be high scoring, but who cares? You go 40 and 4 with 135 scores. Those bitches would be maulers like the Bad boys and Pistons and Rodman...” – Holmberg [01:03]

• The crew jokes that if these women kept “their side hustle” during the off-season, they’d have the ultimate multi-tasking team.
• “She’s from the University of Blade” could become an ongoing inside joke.
• All agree it’d be entertaining:

  “I'd watch that… her whole team is former prostitutes. Right? And then a couple shooters from college.” – Holmberg [02:08]

2. Debuting “This Bitch Here”: The IVF Mix-up Lawsuit

• [03:08 – 15:17]
• Holmberg introduces “This Bitch Here,” a running gag segment for outrageous stories.
• A Florida woman sues a fertility clinic after her long-awaited IVF baby is born with “Asian” features, later confirmed with DNA testing as unrelated to either parent.
• The hosts speculate wildly and sarcastically, questioning the plaintiff’s account and jokingly suggesting an affair or that her partner isn’t the father.
• Holmberg lampoons the cost of IVF (up to $70K), and the idea of wanting a “DNA match”:

  “I don't want to take that from anybody, but my God, all that thing's going to do is drain another 80 or 90 grand out of you before college anyway.” – Holmberg [03:58]

• The show delves into the economics of donor eggs, joking higher prices are for better looks or “rarity,” with Brady invoking eugenics and population percentages:

  “So you’re saying that’s eugenics then. We’re trying to make more Japanese people so they’re more expensive.” – Holmberg [08:41]

• The group mocks the escalating lawsuit and attitudes—“It's not our baby… want a refund?”—as racist or arrogant:

  “Isn’t it racist to want extra money because it's not ours?… Science made a goof. Sorry about that. Did you get a baby or not?” – Holmberg [11:54]

• Comparisons to buying the “wrong color car” or “burnt potato chips” springboard more jokes.

Notable Quotes:

• “You can still do it with a brown one. Racist.” – Holmberg [12:53]
• “Is your wife around at all? I would like to speak. Don't you answer her phone for that doesn't make me going to fix that.” – Holmberg, riffing on the possibility of an affair [10:36]
• “What’s the money-back policy on this?” – Brady, satirizing consumer attitudes toward IVF [13:30]

3. Parenthood, Adoption, and Family Trees: More Satire

• [13:05 – 19:10]
• The hosts joke about the attachment to “biological” children and how adopting or accepting the “wrong baby” shouldn’t be a big deal.
• “If you want a kid, just make the swap. Toledo’s boy for that new little Indian…” – Holmberg, on jokingly trading children [22:44]
• They riff on the stereotype of Indian children excelling in academics and careers, contrasted with “dumb white kids” saying things like “low key” and “bruh.”

Notable Quotes:

• “She got Chevy Chased… she wound up with the family Truckster.” – Host, referencing the National Lampoon’s Vacation movies [12:55]
• “If it turns out that neither of them are… adopt a baby.” – Brady, considering alternative options [13:10]
• “White people don’t… if you watch a little Asian porn, you realize that a crying infant and an orgasming Asian woman sound exactly the same.” – Holmberg [26:04]

4. The “Rico Blaze” Character & Comic Relief

• [27:18 – 31:33]
• The crew break into a running bit about the fictional “Rico Blaze”—an uber-fertile lothario responsible for mysterious pregnancies around fertility clinics (and, formerly, a cop with “side gigs”). This both pokes fun at the unlikely IVF mix-up and serves as raunchy comic relief.
• Bret, Holmberg, and Toledo improvise wild “Rico” lines:

  “I'm so goddamn potent. I walk by a fertility clinic and the eggs get pregnant.” – “Rico Blaze” (Holmberg) [27:32]

• The character’s exploits—fertilizing “half of Florida”—become an ongoing inside joke; tales of Enterprise rental cars and cruise ships pile on absurdity.
• “Police are coming. And so are you, baby.” – “Rico Blaze” [28:41]

5. Musical Interlude & Beyoncé Anecdote

• [32:25 – 34:39]
• Song selection is inspired by earlier talk about “booty” and Destiny’s Child’s "Bootylicious."
• Holmberg shares a backstage memory of meeting a young Beyoncé, reflecting on her beauty compared to co-hosts’ memories of “the most beautiful women in real life.”
• The show closes out with playful bragging about the hosts' brushes with celebrity and the wonders (and “artistry”) of real versus manufactured beauty.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the “Blade” as WNBA Talent Pool:

  "You want to see one of those girls get a little uppity on the court and have one of your Blade hookers come off the bench and get in her face? That's going to quiet her down quick." – Holmberg [02:33]

• On IVF Mix-Up Outrage:

  "This here, man. Lawyers are like, neither of them are the parents. Well, that's not possible. The balls in this broad. That's what I said." – Holmberg [06:28]

• On Cost and Rarity of Donor Eggs:

  "You're that 2am Pig… you know, that's a twenty thousand dollar egg. You wander in there looking good, it's like that's a sixty thousand dollar egg." – Holmberg [08:17]

• On Race and Medical Mix-Ups:

  "Isn’t it racist to want extra money because it's not ours? ... Did you get a baby or not?" – Holmberg [11:54]

• On Stereotypes of Adopted Asian Daughters:

  "You got a built-in scholarship. That is true. I think I'd rather have an Asian girl than a ... dumb white kid who's gonna say bruh and low key constantly." – Holmberg [19:10]

---

Tone & Style

• Unapologetically irreverent, edgy, and packed with rapid-fire banter.
• The humor can lean crude, with a satirical edge that often toes the line of political correctness.
• Direct, conversational, and riff-driven, with each host playing off the others’ ideas and one-liners.

---

Episode Timeline

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|--------------------| | 00:08 | Intro to Alex’s Email – “The Blade” as WNBA recruiting grounds. | | 02:33 | Discussion turns to toughness and utility of “Blade” athletes. | | 03:08 | New segment: “This Bitch Here” – IVF mix-up lawsuit story. | | 06:27 | Hosts question lawsuit, speculating about affair/clinic mix-up. | | 08:17 | Cost and pricing of eggs and sperm, “eugenics” jokes. | | 11:46 | What’s the “refund policy” if your IVF baby “isn’t yours”? | | 14:05 | More jokes about returning babies, “burnt chips” metaphor. | | 15:17 | Stereotypes about academia, swapping children, adoption. | | 22:49 | “This Bitch Here” as a recurring bit. | | 27:18 | “Rico Blaze” calls in; comic riff about fertility. | | 32:25 | Musical break – Destiny’s Child “Bootylicious” & Beyoncé backstory. | | 34:39 | Reflections on real beauty and the show's local radio legacy. |

---

For listeners new to the show:
Expect fearless, boundary-pushing humor mixed with satirical takes on bizarre real-life events—all filtered through the distinct personalities of the HMS crew. If you don’t mind roast-level banter and finding comedy in the absurd, this episode delivers classic Holmberg storytelling and group chemistry.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Rico Blaze]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Thank you, Thomas. James. Man, interesting email from our friend Alex. Says, I've been doing a lot of work around town. I've been doing some training around the Blade. I love that we have a place called the Blade, 27th Avenue. That's where the. The tip of the knife meets the sharp edge of prostitutes. And it is off limits to an average human being. Says notice one thing about all the hookers down there. So they're tall and they're super athletic. Don't you think the Mercury should be scouting down here? I guarantee you, if you taught these girls just basic skills and how to work the paint, they would be dominant. Wouldn't be high scoring, but who cares? You go 40 and 4 with 135 scores. Those bitches would be maulers like the Bad boys and Pistons and Rodman nowhere near as talented, but still. I'd watch that if you picked up a couple of the. Because I've seen a. A couple of that. That one. I don't know if it's a man, but I'm pretty sure I call her Dennis Rodman. She's like 6, 9, climbing up and down buses and stuff. But I don't think the girls would want to. That's a tough group. If they're athletic at all and you can get them just do some sprints and pay them a little bit. I can keep their side hustle going on the street during the season. I know, but you don't have to take it away from them. You can do this. Just don't get caught during, you know, from May until October, you're gonna play some WNBA basketball. Then you get yourself a badass team. And you kind of whispered every once in a while, well, she's from the University of Blade. She shoot. That's not a bad idea. Used to be you'd find, you know, football. You'd go out there and see some dude who's country strong picking up hay bales and just chucking them in the bag. And like, man, that kid's strong. We could train him. Why not walk the streets and see somebody with the, you know, she's six, five. She's been walking the whole time. She's in great shape. I like it. You should be a scout for the wnba. I would. I'd buy tickets to that. You know her whole team is former prostitutes. Right? And then a couple of shooters from college.

[Brett]

They'd be badasses if they're from the Blade too.

[Rico Blaze]

So I'd watch that one's elbows flying. You want to see one of those girls get a little uppity on the court and have one of your Blade hookers come off the bench and get in her face? That's going to quiet her down quick. Angel Reese is going to be very upset that somebody possibly with loads of hep C is about to bleed on. She'd be a little bit quieter. I'm not a professional scout for women's basketball, but I. I think Alex is onto something here. Brett, this story's for you.

[Shane]

All right.

[Rico Blaze]

And I do believe this should be a new category that we have called this bitch here, Shane. Shane. This bitch here Shane. To get away with this one. How much is in vitro fertilization? I've heard rumors that it can cost up to like $70,000 for family that can't have babies. Yeah, it's. It's crazy. Have a kid. Yes.

[Shane]

Oh, please.

[Brett]

It was under a grand to snipped.

[Rico Blaze]

Exactly.

[Brett]

Money well spent.

[Rico Blaze]

And then. Oh, high five. No, these people are spending in the 30, 40, and $50,000 range and doing.

[Shane]

It a couple of times.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah. And to have. And it's just their desire to have a kid. I don't want to take that from anybody, but my God, all that thing's going to do is drain another 80 or 90 grand out of you before college anyway. So a Florida woman is suing an Orlando area fertility clinic. I'm going to say it again. This bitch here. Wait till you hear this. She was in her ivf. She said that there's been a mix up. The lawsuit filed against the fertility center in Orlando and Dr. Milton McNicoll. On January 9th, a 41 year old woman or 43 year old partner identified in the suit only as Jane and John Doe, say they were trying to start a family and began working with the Longwood, Florida based clinic to cryogenically store three viable embryos created using. I know, that's pretty funny. Created using their own genetic material. In March of 2025, they implanted one of the embryos with the woman's uterus. Into the woman's uterus. Nine months later, December 11, one month and 10 days ago, they had a bouncing, beautiful, healthy baby girl. So much joy. Happiness abounds. From a couple of people in their 40s, A, that they made it happen. B, it cost them 100 grand and see, you know, her ovaries at being over 40. The baby didn't come out all goofed up sideways with 40 fingers. The men and women, her partner were so pleased, but they did show a little concern that the baby was dark skinned. This bitch here suing the doctor. Baby who appears to be Asian American, but they're saying it's of, like, India is part of Asia. The couple's attorney. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is not a virus. You are with a man named Lamar. It tells. The genetic testing later confirmed that the newborn has no relation to either parent. This bitch here managed to get her DNA scrubbed. We all know what happened here. Dude's humping it double time at work, taking all that hard earned money because his wife's got baby fever. And he spends 50 grand to go to this clinic because his sperms were working. She's broken. They load her up.

[Shane]

They.

[Rico Blaze]

You know, it's a process. That IVF's no fun. They get it all done. She gets pregnant, whole time she's taken pipe from somebody down the road in Florida. Probably played for the University of Miami. That's my guess. Or maybe ucf, which is even, like, worse. He's kind of dumb. She blames the doctor because she manufactured a.

[Shane]

This.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah, this here, man. Lawyers are like, neither of them are the parents. Well, that's not possible. The balls in this broad. That's what I said. It's heartbreaking. It's undisc. In vitro fertilization errors described in this lawsuit. It's unresolvable. Our clients continue to fall more deeply in love with a beautiful little girl who's definitely not theirs. This here, she. You just quiet down and say, I don't know what happened there. They must have given me the wrong sperms.

[Brett]

So the kid is what then obviously, these are two white people, right? So does the kid.

[Rico Blaze]

And keep in mind, Brett, you're in Florida, so probably living some sort of weird situation where they're. Yeah, well, no, they said it's. It's. It's probably Asian. It's probably like Malaysia or Cambodia or it's just darker Asian. Okay, India is possible. All right, Indonesia. So, yeah. Here's the base price. Base IVF cycle is nine to 15 grand. And that's just monitoring. The medications jump up to 7,000. Then you got to do genetic tests. That's six. Anesthesia is 650. 650. That's pretty reasonable. That's all anesthesia costs. That's not right. Embryo freezing and storage can be 2 to 3,000 bucks interest. Cytoplasmic sperm injection is $2,000 and it's multiple times. You can get fees for where you do it. Which thing says usually donor eggs. 20 to 60,000 for a woman. Dudes are only 1000 to $1500 for their sperms. A woman's eggs are up to 60 grand. Is that based on. Looks like the ugly gotta be 20,000. You're a 20,000.

[Brett]

You're that 2am Pig.

[Rico Blaze]

You know that's a twenty thousand dollar egg. You wander in there looking good, it's like that's a sixty thousand dollar egg.

[Shane]

Or is it based upon you know like rarity population, like percentage of how.

[Rico Blaze]

Many of those people there are? Yeah, like they're endangered humans.

[Shane]

Yeah. Almost like animals.

[Rico Blaze]

So you're saying that's eugenics then. We're trying to make more Japanese people so they're more expensive. Or that'd be cheaper. In that case it would be cheaper.

[Shane]

Like the sweet, sweet egg would be.

[Rico Blaze]

A sweet egg is because of how good we look. We would. My sperms would be two grand at least to impregnate a Swede broad because they want to keep it pure. Like what Brady's saying. You're talking about eugenics. Like if you're saying we need more Japanese people so we start manufacturing them. Brady's onto some Hitler thing. Go on, please finish.

[Shane]

Price based on population.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah. If there's too many of them it would be. It's easy to get them pregnant and.

[Shane]

Get you a $20,000 egg.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's volume.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Rico Blaze]

If you're saying the Chinese are trying to in IVF. Like are you out of your minds? It's $3 for a Chinese egg. But yeah, because there's billions of them. That's why the Indians got this lady, this bitch here. But she's trying to say none of my DNA's there. Lived in you. You didn't DNA test that before. Another fertility parent could have should have given birth to the client's biological child. In the absence of any racial difference. They say people know what's happened here. The lawyers did, they didn't. The clinics basically their response. Their lawyer basically said this bitch here. That's what their response was, is the medical director of the Longwood Fertility center said I want to lead a compassionate, patient focused team dedicated to providing the most advanced fertility treatments. We don't have a comment about this at this time. Basically saying we're going to look into her history. Check her, check her phone. Because if There's a. A 2am text that says, you up? Then she's doing it, or hello, my friend. If there's a checker answering machines like, hey, I'm calling from the. The car dealership. We left your car. You can pick that up anytime after 12, 12:30 in the morning if you'd like. Honey, it seems as though you're getting a phone call from the car dealership at 1 in the morning. Yeah. Is your wife around at all? I would like to speak. Don't you answer her phone for that doesn't make me going to fix that. Fix what, sir?

[Shane]

You understand?

[Rico Blaze]

You don't hear that. What you talking about, man? Huh? I'll go get my wife. Either way, this bitch here, she's taking it to the. I got to give her credit. She took it all the way down and going, it's not either of us. She got impregnated by some super sperms of another race, her husband. And they did three different treatments, which means they're into this at least 60 grand. Don't you just get your money back if you love the kid already?

[Shane]

Yeah, I mean, mix up at the.

[Rico Blaze]

Lab, you get your money back. Maybe another 40 grand for a little trouble. And isn't that racist?

[Shane]

So you don't want the kid, but.

[Rico Blaze]

Isn'T it racist to want extra money because it's not ours? I'm like, yeah, but make it yours. You weren't doing anything without science. Science made a goof. They goofed up a little bit. Sorry about that. Did you get a baby or not? You know, if I went down to the, the car dealership and I got a blue car and it showed up and it was the wrong color blue, and they're like, we'll give you all the money back for it and then some for your trouble. They'd be like, done. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Shane]

Yeah, but I can understand being upset if you're the couple. If in fact the reason why you're doing the in vitro is because you wanted a baby.

[Rico Blaze]

Your own DNA.

[Shane]

Baby, your own DNA.

[Rico Blaze]

That's pretty.

[Shane]

That's huge.

[Rico Blaze]

Arrogant. Well, no, but your DNA didn't work like your God tried to stop you from having babies.

[Shane]

You're starting your family tree.

[Rico Blaze]

You can still do it with a brown one. Racist.

[Brett]

She got Chevy chased because they. She wound up with the family trucks at the end of the deal.

[Rico Blaze]

It's a better deal. It's a nicer car than the ice blue. This here's the family Truckster.

[Shane]

But you're right. I mean, I'm. Say the money back if that's.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah. If it turns out that neither of them are.

[Shane]

Because you could just, you know, if you're doing that, then just adopt or what? Like you said. Oh, you can start a tree.

[Rico Blaze]

Well, you can do.

[Shane]

Then adopt a baby.

[Rico Blaze]

Well, wouldn't it then make sense that they. That some other Indian families got this little white baby from Florida, and they're like, let's swap it out.

[Brett]

Yeah, you can't be that attached.

[Rico Blaze]

I agree. And they're not, or they wouldn't have gone to their lawyers and going, we don't want this one. What's the money back policy on this?

[Brett]

I think the husband just needs to just call Cordell, and Cordell, take that money and just get out.

[Rico Blaze]

They knew.

[Shane]

You know what? We'll give you a free one again.

[Rico Blaze]

Just give him the white one and say, this is yours.

[Shane]

Get a freebie.

[Rico Blaze]

Here's a free white one. It's a bogo.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rico Blaze]

Here, put it next to the brown one. We're sorry.

[Shane]

I'll give you the money back.

[Rico Blaze]

Isn't that racist, though? It's like, we're sorry. Put it next to the. The burned.

[Shane]

No, I. I meant also, you know, you keep. Keep the one that you have, black or white. And then we'll give you some more treatments to try again.

[Rico Blaze]

Just bring in a bag of lays potato chips to the lab and go, all right, look in this bag. What do you see? Well, there's one burned one. Exactly. It stands out, doesn't it? I didn't want that in my bag of chips. If we gave you a white one, would you be all right with the. The irregular one we gave you? Just switch it out like your eggs might. Have somebody else got yours? There's an Indian. The guy, the husband was on the story, basically said I was curious because she was a little darker, but when I asked her if she wanted her baba, it went, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't our baby.

[Brett]

It's because his wife's taking pipe.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah, and it was a funny thing. They bought it a little one of those little. You know, you get kids, those little plastic phones and stuff. And it picked it up. Thank you for calling this cover card. I don't think that's ours. I don't know what you're talking about. Weren't you hanging out with that IT Guy from work for a while? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is not My daddy ba ba ba ba, got on its hands and knees and started to bow to a cow. I was just checking to see if that baby was mine. I don't know if it is, but.

[Shane]

The geek squad was at our house right off.

[Rico Blaze]

Anyway. Yeah, we're back again to fix your Hullet Packard. Yes, yes, yes it is. Nothing to do with IVF or impregnating your wife with my super Indian sperm. I'm just here to supervise. Does that just follow you around?

[Brett]

Or if her phone's ringing at 2 in the morning and a ringtone is.

[Rico Blaze]

This just a rock in the building? Oh, that's. Wait a minute. What the hell was that? Huh? Well, the IT guys must have found a problem with the computer. It's 2:30 in the morning. Yeah, quiet down, I'm trying to sleep. What's he doing here? And why are goddamn alarms always doing that when he's here? I'll catch you guys later. See, it stops when he leaves. Yeah, but that one to me is hilarious because she's trying to get away with. My guess is if this story even gets legs on it later you'll find out she was up to something. And her eggs actually did work and his sperms were what was broken.

[Brett]

That's what he's hoping for.

[Rico Blaze]

It would be tough though. You get that thing, you go, you got to go back to the. You know, I don't even like taking clothes back to the store because you go back and just look. You see this? That's a beautiful baby. Yeah, yeah, beautiful. All right, look at me. Look at him. What's wrong with this picture? I'd like to take it back or get a severe discount for having, you know, one of these. This one says one of my best friends and his wife have adopted four children. I celebrated that by going to get a vasectomy. Yeah, that's. If you, if you have friends with four kids, they are an advertisement for Dr. Lynn Sunrise Urology. Go get that clip because there's. Go to nine year old girl's birthday party and if you don't have kids that'll stop it. Cuz I have been to 19 year old girl's birthday party in my life. They tried to combo up and have adult parent party plus not. It was the. There was less screaming in Hiroshima than there was that day. There was. Why did you go oh my buddy Mark's, you know, family thing. And I'm like, yeah, it's not so bad. There was some friends from school I hadn't seen in a while and I was going to have. We were going to do adult stuff. I thought the girls were. I didn't know they were going to do that. But they're like smoke alarms. They're attached to each other. If one screams, the other ones start going off. And none of the. I was the only ones like you guys. Not. It was the same exact thing.

[Shane]

Like when one turkey gobble.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah, it was one thing. Like when this one goes off, another one in the house goes off. One of the girls went off and it was like they were connected and they all started screaming and none of the parents heard it. Like, you guys not hear that? Oh, yeah. That's just the girls. I'm like, I know what it is. Are we putting a stop to it? Why? Oh, it's horrible. That's why. It's. It's blood curdling. Oh, this guy says Asian baby. Look at it this way. You got a built in scholarship. That is true. I think I'd rather have an Asian girl than a. Then like Brad or something. Like it's some little dumb white kid who's gonna say bruh and low key constantly. I'm hungry. Low key. I don't know what that means. Why do you keep calling me that? Low key hungry man. I want to go out and do something. Low key. What is. Am I an avenger? Who's Loki? Loki. He doesn't get it, bro. And then instead you got a little Asian girl over there solving all the math problems. I'll take that. That's a much better deal anyway.

[Brett]

Or making Air Jordans.

[Rico Blaze]

Oh, well, I don't want to put her in a sweatshop right away, Brett, but yeah, you get a wrong baby, count your stars. When it comes in a back an Asian daughter, you got two options there. She's either going to be the greatest mathematician of all time or a Bella Danger's replacement. This guy says that husband needs to get all the money his wife wrecked that pristine, slightly expired body for a baby that's not even his when they could have just adopted one and shut down the Longwood Clinic. Kids ruined people, physically and mentally. They deserve to be compensated. I totally agree. But you go and try to. You try to manufacture a baby, you just get what you get. That's what I say. If you're weiner and her belly can't make it happen and you go to the lab and they're like, we'll see what we can do. And it comes back, baby. You're like, this is the best we could do. Well, it's Asian. Hey, come on. Beggars chooser situation here. Did you even use our eggs? Your eggs are wrecked. It's like Shane Orlando trying to fix a totaled car. It's like, look, it didn't work. Now it does. It doesn't look right. But you got your car back foreign. We're going to give you a little bit of a disc.

[Shane]

Yeah, but it's a Prius.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah, I had a pickup, right? Yeah, but we had to. We had to do some real work here. Do you want the baby or not? Yes, Mr. Orlando. Thank you. I don't understand why everybody said you get a baby and you went and bought a baby and they said we had to use some Asian ingredients to make this work. You'd be like, all right, either my eggs and all your wife's eggs were gross. That's.

[Brett]

Everything's made in China nowadays. Anyway.

[Rico Blaze]

Put a little sticker on it. Made in Indonesia. Have fun with it. It's terrible. Matthew says, what a gash. Trying to blame the doctor. This bitch here. I know all of us guys have the same thing. Like wait a minute. Spent 60 grand and it neither of you were involved?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Brett]

This year Nicholas says, hey, it's an Indian baby. You got a 5050 chance. That's a doctor and IT guy.

[Rico Blaze]

You know you're good. You're not going to have trouble getting this kid. Is not going to cost you as much as a white be champion. A Florida white versus an unexpected Indian. Gimme curry all day long.

[Brett]

I thought you're playing a Toledo when you did this.

[Rico Blaze]

Well, think about it. Think of his son. True. You think he wouldn't have traded him in for a. An Indian engineer? He's got Zoolander at the house still trying to sew jeans together. Meanwhile all of his Indian classmates are already going. Well, I've been promoted to vice president of computer operations. I remember Alex. What is he doing now? Low key, kind of a hit to it. Loki. Don't do that anymore. Fashion designer. Busboy.

[Shane]

14 years old, already has his college degree.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah. You know what you've never heard in your life ever an adult Indian that you meet, you know they always got that white Mormon shirt sleeve pockets full of pens and like. So what do you do for a living? I am a busboy. Never happened. Never occurred. I work at the call center. That is one of my five jobs. Busboy and fashion designer. Yeah. Toledo. Trade Alex in in a heartbeat for that. You know what? You want a kid. I'll make the swap for you. Toledo's boy for that new little Indian down in Florida that this here trying to sue the doctors.

[Shane]

This here.

[Rico Blaze]

I like our new segment. We should have Bruce Cooper come down. I've been talking to Bruce here. This here. It's time for another episode of this Here with Bruce Cooper anyway, so be careful. Just be careful. That's scandalous. And that dude's calling her out. You know, he's basically like, all right, we'll go to a lawyer. Oh, fine. She's gonna run it until she runs out of gas. But eventually there's going to be a DNA test done by that Longwood place. And said is two yours? Half of it, at least. Well, then that doesn't explain the Asian part. Oh, no, no, no. It does explain the Asian part. I am a daddy and I am not sweet. Down there in Florida getting it done. Usha vance got pregnant. J.D. vance stopped talking for a few seconds and got his wife pregnant. Our vice president's wife has her fourth baby in her belly and she needs to be an inspiration. I know politically people don't. Half the country absolutely hates Trump Vance all the way around. They're blinded by it. But Usha Vance has three kids and has. She has kept it together like you got. She's got a fourth one on the way. Gotta hand it to her. Whatever she's doing on the side there to keep it together is impressive because Usha looks good. She looks like. She doesn't look like a mother of three. That is for sure. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible. Holg's morning sickness. And J.D. vance just keeps talking and talking and talking. And every once in a while, he takes like a 10 minute break, knocks her up, and then goes right back out there to yell at Laura England. But congratulations. Remember, that used to be a thing in this country. Like, if the president or vice president had good news, like with their families, everybody in the country is like, that's great. And now, like, there's memes and stuff of like, him conspiracies making a Nazi. And like, he's got like, it's gonna be Damien. Like, they're. Nobody's like, oh, that's nice. Good for them. Nobody can be human anymore. Oh, well, all right. Well, I don't agree with this politics, but good for them. It's a nice family. Good for them. Nope. Immediately they're putting swastikas on the baby. 660 sticks on its head. They got little rottweilers around the door. I mean, the memes are funny, but, you know, that's how the Bible says it's going to be the blood of a political figure. It's like a big. Oh, God. They automatically think this is it. Find out it's in vitro fertilization. Maybe it's one of. Maybe it's advanced baby. Should I read this?

[Shane]

All right.

[Rico Blaze]

I can't read. It's very funny though. Says, I don't want to read this. It's too long, Billy. It's too long. It's not that bad. It's just too long. It's very funny. It's not racist or anything. It's just long.

[Brett]

No, not at all.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah. Said, dude, keep that little Asian girl and teach that. To ride a 15 foot unicycle and kick bowls onto her head. That is a money machine. That's true. The Red Panda made a whole. She's a millionaire. Kicking bowls on her head, a unicycle. Don't see white people doing that. Said John, you. The problem with the Asian daughter is white people don't. He taught. I taught him this. I. If you watch a little Asian porn, you realize that a crying infant and an orgasming, orgasming Asian woman sound exactly the same. And it's creepy. They both sound like, oh, so, yeah, you don't want an Asian daughter in her bedroom. Is she okay? And walk in, find out. She's not.

[Shane]

She's crying.

[Rico Blaze]

She's not crying. Did Rico Blaze move to Florida after he got kicked out of the police force? It could be Blaze Jr. Oh, I don't want to do it. Brett. Don't do it. You're going to do it anyway. Is Rico still here? Did he move?

[Shane]

Don't know.

[Rico Blaze]

All right. Was it sir nuts a lot. What was it?

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. That just makes this whole segment.

[Rico Blaze]

Keep it on the beat. Let me throw that in there. Yeah, baby. How you doing, Rico? Blaze back up in this. I'm so goddamn potent. I walk by a fertility clinic and the eggs get pregnant.

[Shane]

Congratulations on the kid.

[Rico Blaze]

I don't know what you're talking about, player. Wasn't me. I was in Florida for a little bit. It was like a tsunami of frothy ejaculate just walking around. Evidently I was within a mile of the fertility clinic when I last got one of them fat bitches in my bed. Knocked up the whole fertility clinic. Congratulations, Florida. You've been blazed. So not to lie, did a little vacationing down in Miami. You know that rumor, Brett? They say you can't get a girl pregnant in the butt.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Rico Blaze]

Yes, you can. Oh, damn. Anyone got a 9 volt in the ladder. All right.

[Brett]

What kind of car did Enterprise rent a car hook you up with?

[Rico Blaze]

Well, they originally started me off with a Navigator. And I said, that'll be nice for hauling fat white bitches, but I want to cruise the A1A. So I got myself a nice little scat pack, topless. Speaking of topless, every time I walk by, fat bitch's shirts fall off. Blaze is in town. Police are coming. And so are you, baby. All right. Am I still on the force? I got kicked off the force, right?

[Brett]

Yeah, I think so.

[Rico Blaze]

I'm not allowed to be. Unlike the Abella Danger of the Phoenix police. For. Except for I'm not the one with the fat ass. But I do like those, for sure. You want to come out on The Rico cruise? February 2nd to the 9th. Carnival has been nice enough to give us one of their boats. Fat, get half off and all you can eat buffet. I'm in. We'll see you on the cruise, brother. Don't bring your wife if you. Why do you even need an in vitro fertilization when you've got Enrico fertilization? I'll take care of it. Handling all the IVF around here. $50,000. Give me half of that and I'll breathe on it. You'll have twins and one of them butt babies. Next stop, Greenland. Head on up there. Donald Trump's new program. Scare them Greenland bitches. I never had me an Inuit, but I'm into it. Put a little RICO spray on that. What's that? Baby?

[Shane]

You're 43.

[Rico Blaze]

Eggs all dried up. Don't worry. I'm like Frank's hot sauce. It'll taste just fine once we put that on everything. I'm getting hell out of here. This is your fault. Rico. Blaze. I like.

[Brett]

He travels with his own music, too.

[Rico Blaze]

Well, of course he does. Just happens anyway. That's ridiculous. We're idiots. But this here suing a doctor. I gotta hand it to her. Taking it to this length. Well, that's fine. We'll sue them. That's right, we will. Are you fine? When I call a lawyer right now. Go ahead. You sure about that? Yes. I might actually believe her.

[Brett]

Apparently, Rico is still around. This guy actually follows him on Instagram and he bangs his white broad pretty regularly.

[Rico Blaze]

Man, he doesn't. The girl, he's. She didn't fit through the doors. The only option he's got. She's stuck in that room. That's crazy. Is he still Sir Nuts a lot? I don't know.

[Brett]

I'm gonna ask.

[Rico Blaze]

Sir Nuts A lot. Full time. You know, my favorite thing about Rico Blaze isn't that we caught him. It's that before we caught him, he was out there catching you. Like, there's people out there who got nabbed by Rico Blaze doing stuff or pulled over or whatever his job was with the cops. He was. I don't know what he did.

[Shane]

And he had a side gig.

[Rico Blaze]

Yeah. And then we found out later, you know, that he was doing. What he was doing was, you know, on company time. That was the problem. Pretty hilarious at 7:20. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brett]

I wake up song time. And a lot of it just goes back to what we were talking about earlier with a Bella Danger. And then My ass. My ass skills, apparently.

[Rico Blaze]

By the way, J.D. vance's fourth child with Usha made his couch have a public comment going this here. Yeah, JD Loved the couches.

[Brett]

So Spinal Tack Big bottoms on there. Sir Mix a lot. Baby's Got Back Juvenile. Back that ass Up. ZZ Top Tush, Eminem, Shake that ass. Destiny's Child, Bootylicious.

[Rico Blaze]

We've never played Destiny's Child on kupd.

[Brett]

Probably not.

[Rico Blaze]

Bootylicious it is. Take that, Bob's all your research. Shove it up your research ass.

[Brett]

Let Destiny's Child test for us.

[Rico Blaze]

It's gonna. Do you want to pull it up? Hell, yeah. Bootylicious is a good song. I don't care what anybody says. I'm not even much of a Beyonce fan, but I met Destiny's Child before I knew who Destiny's Child was and got it had to be 2000. Maybe they rolled him in there. We merged with KKFR Power 92.3. And so Destiny's Child was coming through town, and they had a hit or two, and they were in the building. And that guy I was talking about yesterday, Marv Nyren, the weirdo, the crooked guy, he's walking through there with the three most beautiful women I've ever seen. And I don't think Beyonce's pretty as pretty now as that was the most. Like, she was 19 at the time and walked through that building.

[Brett]

And Rose, me.

[Rico Blaze]

The other two were pretty. Kelly. And the other. They were beautiful. Beyonce, like, it was.

[Shane]

What kind of creation.

[Rico Blaze]

Incredible. And then after that, every time I see her, I'm like, I don't get it. But I did that day. But, yeah, they wandered through that building, and I don't even know why they were there, because Casey Power was down the street. But they walked through our building, which is now going to be Atari Hotel. But it's weird.

[Shane]

There might have been some stuff going on at the building at the time.

[Rico Blaze]

I think we had a better conference room and they were gonna do like an interview and a little thing with them because they were just popping.

[Brett]

Who else was in that building at the time? So was you guys? Us was a camel.

[Rico Blaze]

Coyote. Camel. The zone. And then 5 FM. Yeah. And then across the street. They had power.

[Brett]

So no reason for them to be in your building.

[Rico Blaze]

In KFYI maybe with KFYI there. They didn't allow blacks in the building or something. Just racist. Not anymore, though. Dude, that does. Their morning show is awesome. Yeah. Beyonce came to us. Maybe they just would have lost their minds over at kkfr. That might be it. That there might have been a crowd out in front of the power building. And so they took them to us.

[Shane]

Could be.

[Rico Blaze]

Because there were these. It was. And I mean, it was Nancy o'.

[Shane]

Dell.

[Rico Blaze]

I know that sounds strange. Who used to be on Access Hollywood and Beyonce are the two most beautiful creatures I've ever seen in my life in person. And Nancy went on. And again, I never saw it again that day. I saw them in person. And that was 20 plus years ago. And I told. That was that. Yeah, that was. That was in a movie premiere. Harrison Ford movie premiere. I saw. And I was there and she was next to me. And I've never seen anything like. Was porcelain human. And then as she aged. Night that she aged out of it. I think I just. It was just a perfect day. It was. She was outrageous. And then Beyonce's the other one. And I. You know, we've seen some beautiful people, but there's like that moment where even women are like, wow, that's different. And it wasn't. You know what it was. Neither of them were manufactured. That was natural. Like, Nancy Odell at that time was just that. I'm like, how do you get through life? Like, why do you work?

[Shane]

She wasn't as big as the name, but I thought for me it was that one year it was Heather who was the St. Paulie girl. I forget her last name.

[Rico Blaze]

Oh, I know you're talking about. Yeah, she came in with us that one time. Yeah. She was like, yeah, but again, having been in that room too, recognizing that it doesn't make the other ones ugly. This is a different level of beautiful. It's. It's Grand Canyon kind of stuff. It's like, that's just not a pretty person. That's. That's a piece of art, piece of art. I spelled ass wrong. One of my cop friends just said Rico was a patrol guy. Used to patrol for fat bitches. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't break up crime. All right, I like it. This is for Rico. This is for a Bella Danger. Hell, yeah, we're gonna do this. All right. This beautiful Beyonce that wandered through the house there. It's Bootylicious. Oh, right. Little Fleetwood Mac in there. This is Rock Basin. Go get him. Ladies of Destiny's Child on 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.