01-21-26 - BR - WED - We Debate Brady's Fun Fact That Mountain In Ecuador Is Furthest From Earth's Center - Survey Asks How People Listen To Music - Two Guess The Perp Stories

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode Summary: January 21, 2026

Main Theme:
This episode showcases the trademark comedic banter and slightly chaotic energy of the HMS crew as they debate random facts (including a wild geography/science moment about mountain heights), review music-listening habits in America, riff on viral and local news stories, and play their own brand of “guess the perp.” From debates about the tallest mountain relative to the earth’s core, to the latest consumer music trends and bizarre criminal escapades, the show balances playful sparring, genuine curiosity, and classic roast-style humor.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Real Tallest Mountain? (06:54–13:13)

• Fun Fact Trigger: Brady shares, "The peak of Ecuador's Mount Chimborazo is the furthest point on Earth from the center of the earth." (06:54)
• Confusion Ensues: The crew debates the details.
  • Holmberg (John): "Start again. You said Earth eight times... One more." (07:06)
  • Consensus on measuring from sea level, not mountain base, prompts debate about what actually determines “height” or “distance from the core.”
  • They discuss undulation of Earth, sea level, and how official elevations are set and measured.
• Educational Moment: They ultimately clarify that “mountain height” is measured from sea level, but the actual furthest point from Earth’s core is not Everest, but Mount Chimborazo due to the equatorial bulge.
  • Brady: "I never knew that." (10:46)
  • John: "Heights of mountains are typically measured above sea level. Mount Everest is the highest mountain ... not from the lowest point of the mountain." (10:34)

Notable Quote:

• John: "You accept information relatively simply." (08:11)

Music Habits in 2026 (13:18–15:58)

• Survey Results: Brady reveals data from a recent American survey:
  • 84% say listening to music is an important part of their life.
  • 55% listen at least an hour daily.
  • Only 2% never listen to music.
  • Streaming and radio are top choices; surprisingly, 24% report still using CDs, 11% listen to records, 4% use cassettes.
• Crew Reacts: The team jokes about the persistence of older media, especially cassettes.
  • Holmberg: "What, did they give the survey at Friendship Village in Mesa? Nobody's listening to records exclusively!"
  • The fact that prisoners use cassettes (because CDs can be made into shivs) is explored.
  • Favored genres: Classic rock leads, then country, pop, hip hop, metal.
  • Brady: "Country was way up there." (15:51)
  • John: "Country's the worst." (15:59)
  • Brady: "Country's the dolly steamboat of music." (16:17)

Notable Exchange:

• A: "Those are people in jail." (14:59)
• B: "Really?" (15:02)
• A: "Yeah, you can have [cassette players in jail]." (15:06)

Most Promiscuous Countries (16:23–18:22)

• Survey Criteria: Age at first sex, avg. partners, STD rates, perception of premarital sex, legal status of prostitution.
• Top Countries: Australia ranks #1, followed by Brazil, Greece, NZ, Germany, Italy, and South Africa.
  • U.S. is #12.
• Jokes on Stereotypes: John and team riff on international promiscuity, revealing some surprise at the results.
• Bonus Survey: Austrian men are revealed as having the most sexual partners (avg. 29.3), based on a Durex study.

“Guess the Perp” Stories (19:24–24:05)

• Case #1: 43-year-old Texan, Jessica Wolf, arrested after smoking meth on a video call with an inmate.
  • Holmberg: "Jessica Wolf is a fat 43... disgustingly fat. Her hair looks greasy and wet." (20:56)
  • The crew paints a colorful (if unflattering) visual.
• Case #2: 45-year-old Tony Scott, Charlottesville, Virginia, threatens to blow up Bojangles after a messed-up food order.
  • Group guesses characteristics based on the name and scenario.

Viral and Viewer-Submitted Videos (23:39–29:50)

• Video 1 ("Man vs Fan"): Factory worker walks into an industrial fan and gets blown across the room. Laughter and shock ensue.
  • Bret: "It's just an airplane propeller in the middle of a showroom." (25:07)
• Video 2: Bulldog slides down a luge (potentially AI). Crew debates if it’s “real.”
• Video 3: Food delivery driver randomly kicks a woman in the face.
  • Holmberg: "He turns and gives her a high kick right to the schnoz. Boom. Drops her like a bad habit." (27:30)
• Video 4: Man randomly clocks a woman on a street, glasses flying.
  • Holmberg: "Dropped her like a one foot putt." (28:05)
• Video 5 ("Badass Cops"): Dramatic video of a cop jumping through a windshield to stop a suspect's car—possibly for training, possibly AI-generated.
  • The team agrees: "That was awesome." (28:50)

Bojangles in Arizona & Food Humor (24:04–26:52)

• Crew discusses the impending opening of Bojangles in Gilbert, sparking riffs about chicken chains and local geography.
  • Brady: "First Bojangles opening up in Gilbert in spring of 26 on the Northeast Corner of Valveston Mercy." (26:25)
  • John: "Mercy, Bojangles. Mercy. They just changed the name of the streets." (26:36)
  • "Black Lady Brady" character suggested as a promotional stunt.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John on country music: "Country's good on a boat. Only if you jump in with rocks in your pockets." (16:01)
• Brady on fun facts: "That's the fun fact." (08:15)
• John on notoriety: "If you hate the Cardinals...hey, big fan of the Seahawks. You've made it easy for us twice a year." (02:05)
• Brady on persistent stereotypes: "One of Rico Blaze's victims." (21:08)
• On AI animals: "That might be a different one, but no, I don't know, because I've seen..." (25:52)
• Bret regarding survey demographics: "Those are people in jail." (14:59)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 06:54 – 13:13: The Mount Chimborazo/Earth’s Center debate
• 13:18 – 15:58: 2026 Music Survey & Format Breakdown
• 16:23 – 18:22: Most Promiscuous Countries
• 19:24 – 24:05: Guess The Perp: Criminal Stories
• 23:39 – 29:50: Viral Video Reactions
• 24:04 – 26:52: Bojangles-Related Jokes & Hype

---

Language & Tone

The episode features hallmark HMS banter: dry wit, irreverence, local color, occasional crudeness, and lots of playful teasing between hosts.
Speakers are quick to challenge each other’s facts, roast stereotypes, and latch onto each other's missteps for comic effect.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

You’ll come away entertained, slightly more informed (perhaps), and, if you’re an Arizona local, in on many inside jokes about local food, geography, and the wild world of late-night videos. The blend of random trivia, pop culture surveys, crime stories, and “only in Arizona” news keeps the show unpredictable and consistently funny.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean, really? Maybe in 2026, you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten. I know. That was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly. Visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team, Schwartz Laser Eye Center, 480-483-Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons.

[C]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside, and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855- GUN RIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremysivilrights.com you thought that was funny?

[B]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? If you'd have told me that five, six years ago, Limp Bizkit would be cool and fun. Maybe about 10 years ago, I'd be like, nobody likes Fred Durst. He'll never. They're back and they're like, they're making you smile. Fred's kind of neat. He's doing interviews on with Bill Maher on Club Random, and it was interesting. He wasn't. I don't know what happened there. That isn't. That is. This is an underrated comeback by Limp Bizkit, big time. And it was. You know what it came from? Self deprecation and recognition that he's just. That the world kind of looked at him and went, eh, the guy in the red hat sucks. And we have that here with the Cardinals. Same with the Bidwells. If we could treat him the same way we treated Fred Durst, the Bidwells might have a comeback. If you weren't paying attention the other morning, My boogers for Bidwell program. So far, I haven't heard anything. But when you see him boo, do not shake his hand. Do not say thank you. He's done nothing for you as A fan of the Cardinals? If you hate the Cardinals, go up and go, hey, like Toledo. If you ever saw Bidwell, it would be even better to go. Mr. Bidwell, I just wanted to thank you so much. Ah, big, big fan of the Seahawks. You've made it easy for us twice a year.

[D]

Thanks for all the training.

[B]

Yeah, thanks for everything you've done for us. Oh, it's great. Found him. Is that Rico Blaze? He's on his site. Is this going to be cussy?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Oh, he's just got that baby got back playing and a big fat white lady in his back. She's all painted up. Let's do it. Is she naked? That's body paint. Is it body paint or is it leotards?

[A]

Oh, no, it's leotards.

[B]

Big blonde woman. Erica's about to tear that up. Man, Is that. Show that again real quick. Whoa. I'll turn the sound back up. Oh, yeah, that is Rico's place. He looks happy since he's not a cop anymore.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

There he is, sir. Nuts. A lot. All right, well, he's got, like.

[A]

There's what you expect.

[B]

Oh, Jesus, Rico, that girl's got diabetes. Wow. Her toes are green. He likes fat white women.

[A]

Look at that smile.

[B]

Mad at me. Get mad at me all you want about stereotypes. He is not helping. There's these bed with another one. She's taking up the whole bed. I like Rico. I want to be friends. Oh, my Lord, look, Rico's about 245, I'd guess. Yeah, yeah. That woman is eclipsing him in the mirror. All you see is his little tiny head and hand and shoulders.

[D]

That's it.

[B]

Well, barely. How many leopards had to die to make that bikini?

[D]

Is that what that is?

[B]

Giraffes? I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't want to know. Yikes. All right, stop it. Turn it off, man.

[D]

He's got a type.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Don't. Yep. All right, that's enough. Turn Rico Blaze's page off if you're in. What is the. It's just I am Rico Blaze Ex.

[A]

Looks like he's in Denver now.

[B]

Oh, he is in Denver. He moved to Denver.

[D]

Porn laws are a little.

[A]

Probably destroyed the Valley already, so.

[D]

Yeah, he's got to have a new market.

[B]

There's a.

[D]

What is that? Miss Incredible?

[B]

No, there's a lady dressed as Miss Incredible climbing up the wall to get on Rico's shoulders. He found a. He found a Hive of fat white women in Colorado. When he moved to it, white be buzzing all over Boulder. I'm moving. I'm like, mork, I'm gonna live in Colorado. All right, it's time now for the Brady Report.

[A]

There's a skinny one. Wow.

[B]

No, turn it off. I did.

[A]

I did.

[B]

It's the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] you want to get some shade in your life? All you have to do is call all pro shade.com and they'll take a look at your situation. Your back patio, a window that's got too much sun, and they will get it together and make it look fantastic, like it's supposed to be there. Drove by a house yesterday that had those sails on there, and they had done it themselves, clearly, because it was just not good.

[D]

Pulling away from the.

[B]

It was just not good. It just was in the wrong spot. And they're just, you know, basically having sheets for curtains. When you do it wrong, it looks wrong. These guys make sure it gets done right. And they do it perfect. Adds property value and gives you some outdoor living space that you probably didn't have but wanted and didn't know you wanted until you had it. So call them up right there. Go to their website, all prochade.com Brady Report.

[E]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[B]

Hi.

[E]

Happy National Hugging Day. And one liners day.

[B]

Oh, no.

[E]

You know, movie quotes and stuff.

[B]

Oh, I thought you meant like they.

[E]

Gave an example of jokes.

[D]

Yeah, that's what I thought it was.

[E]

Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.

[B]

That's just quotes. Those aren't one liners. Those are quotes.

[E]

I always thought it was a joke, too, but that's how they're playing it.

[B]

They're wrong.

[D]

By the way, the animal owners across the valley are revolting on text.

[B]

I know. I find them revolting as well. I've seen their photos.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

No, no. The smoke detector. It drives the dogs crazy. Well, it's not my fault. It's Rico's. It's Rico's fault.

[E]

A couple of basis fun facts. The peak of Ecuador's Mount Chimborazo is the furthest point on Earth from the center of the earth.

[B]

Start again. You said Earth eight times. And what? One more. It's got too much. Some word problem.

[E]

Chimborizo is the farthest point on Earth from the center of the Earth.

[D]

Okay, and how is it not the tallest mountain then?

[B]

Because of sea level? Because mountains are based off of sea Level, Sure. But don't know.

[D]

Wouldn't it.

[B]

Don't know the mass.

[E]

Maybe Everest, where it's located could be closer to the center on the base.

[A]

But it's a ball to the base.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Thank you, Brad.

[E]

Could have some unchellation.

[B]

You didn't look into that. You think the ball has undulation. You think we're wavy.

[E]

I don't think it's perfectly round.

[D]

Okay, I can go with you on that.

[B]

But enough. Enough so to make a mouth that I've never heard of.

[E]

Acne.

[D]

Like an egg.

[B]

But it's enough.

[A]

So it's got acne.

[B]

The earth.

[A]

He says, oh.

[B]

But it's enough undulation to make the tallest mountain in the world. Not as close to the. Because to a mountain I've never heard of.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You accept information. Accepts information relatively simply.

[E]

That's the fun fact.

[B]

Yeah, it's a fun fact. There's no like detail to the fact. So it's a fun suggestion. And then you look into why.

[E]

That would be the only thing that I could think of making sense.

[B]

That is that the earth is wobbly.

[E]

That the place where it can go higher, Mount Everest can be higher. But really where it's located in the actual base of measuring how high the.

[B]

Mountain is, which is sea level.

[D]

I'm confused still by what you. Well, I don't know if Mount Everest can be still.

[B]

All mountains that we know are from sea level. Elevation from sea level. So we're talking about.

[E]

I don't know about that.

[B]

That's fact that why else would we measure it from below sea level in some places and not your ele here? Like Camelback Mountain is what, 2,000ft from sea level. They don't just do it off of 2,000ft. It's 2,000 from sea level.

[E]

But we're not at sea level.

[B]

No, I know.

[E]

In Arizona.

[B]

Yes, we are.

[E]

So they're adding. So Camelback Mountains only a thousand feet.

[B]

It's 18 or 1900ft above sea level.

[E]

And we're at a thousand.

[B]

Right.

[E]

So we're a thousand above sea level. So then came back another 1800ft.

[D]

Another 18.

[B]

No, it's 800ft above us, whatever the elevation is. I, I threw a number out. I don't know for sure. Whatever the elevation of Camelback Mountain is, is it's tip.

[E]

Because I always thought it was on top of that.

[B]

I mean, like, on top of what?

[E]

If we're on the street right now, Camelback Mountain is a thousand feet high.

[B]

But we're not level.

[E]

But that would be the height of the mountain.

[B]

No, it's from sea level. They do elevation from sea level. Like that's what they say. Denver is 5200. It's mile high. Mile high from sea level.

[D]

Like Flagstaff is 6,000ft and we're at a thousand. So Flagstaff is 5,000ft higher than us.

[B]

Well, it's just. It. Just based on where they.

[D]

Where sea level.

[B]

Zero.

[E]

Yeah, but then the mountains in Flagstaff are basing from sea level. So it wouldn't be. It would be a 3,000 foot mountain if it. So it'd be.

[D]

No, you're basing thousand feet from the ground in Flagstaff. Yes.

[B]

No, if It's. If it's 6,000 foot mountain, it's 6,000ft from sea level. Who knows how high.

[D]

He's saying from like street level. I get. I get what he's saying. It is kind of the 3,000 foot mountain then to kind of go basic.

[E]

If you're going from sea level.

[B]

Right. Which everything has to be. Heights of mountains are typically measured above sea level. Mount Everest is the highest mountain at Earth at 29,029ft from sea level, not from the lowest point of the mountain.

[E]

Gotcha. I never knew that.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

All elevations, figures, whatever the.

[B]

No, because it would screw up everything. Yeah, yeah. Because. Yeah. You have to have a baseline and sea levels. Your baseline, like Palm Springs is below sea level in a lot of spots. It like actually gets below, but doesn't mean you're going to get flooded because.

[E]

So then maybe that could be Mount Chimborazo.

[B]

That it's below sea level. Yeah, possibly that would be closer to the core. I don't know where that place is in Ecuador. I don't know where that place is.

[E]

South America.

[B]

Not where that place is.

[E]

Sea level. Below sea level.

[B]

We should rate it. What we should do is go over there and just take it. I'm sure if we're closer to the crust, ending the. Into the core of Earth, pretty sure it would be an easy raid. We just get some Navy seals to pop up. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Hberg's morning sickness.

[E]

The alarm.

[B]

You didn't know that about elevation? Everything has to have a baseline. So everything is from there. I don't know where they.

[E]

Honestly, we're already above sea level here in Minnesota. Thousand feet.

[D]

Well, everybody is. Otherwise we'd be underwater.

[B]

I don't know where they actually measure where Phoenix is, but you mean like. I don't know. They always say Phoenix's elevation is about this. But it's a Val.

[E]

And then you go up north, it keeps going.

[B]

Well, yeah.

[E]

Even in Scottsdale's higher than what we are. Yes.

[B]

Because it's a valley higher. It's a valley. You can see it on McDowell Mountain right now. That's higher than where we are. But I don't know where. The official measurement of Phoenix's elevation is. Like what they consider.

[D]

Oh, like the. The measurement dot.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Probably just like right downtown.

[E]

Neil Armstrong and the crew of Apollo 11 had to fill out custom forms when they landed back on Earth.

[B]

Carson's smart. He says height and elevation are two different measurements. Did you say it was the highest elevation or height?

[E]

It's the furthest point on Earth from the center of the Earth.

[B]

That's interesting. Like to get the details on that?

[E]

Get on the phone with Neil DeGrasse.

[B]

I'd like you two to have a conversation. That would be fun.

[D]

Base to summit is the terms that Brady's looking.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

He's looking for height.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Based a summit.

[E]

New survey on music. Americans. 84% of Americans say listening to music is an important part of their life. 55% listen to least an hour of music a day. And only 2% never listen to music.

[B]

2% just won't have music in their lives.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

I don't know how you do it. All these people are emailing us. Surveyors use the zero point. They measure it from Sky Harbor.

[D]

That's what somebody just said.

[B]

Here.

[D]

Another one. What you're talking about is called prominence.

[B]

No, I'm not talking about that. Trust me. Well, you know my nose. I know my nose. Prominence. I understand. I don't like that word. Let's just get back to what people care about. So will somebody call John Eaton.

[D]

Get the goddamn facts.

[E]

The most popular choices in 2026 are streaming and listening to the radio.

[B]

Hubbard put that out.

[E]

Streaming is 73%. 48% listen to music on the radio on a regular basis. 24% download MP3s, 24% still use CDs.

[B]

What?

[E]

11% listen to records. 4% use cassettes.

[B]

What did they give the survey at Friendship Village in Mesa? Nobody's listening to records exclusively. You can't.

[A]

Yeah, those hipsters do.

[B]

Yeah, but not my guess. Maybe not in your car or at work.

[D]

Like not on your phone, not in your car, not anywhere.

[B]

That's bananas.

[D]

And cassettes.

[A]

Those are people in jail.

[E]

Really?

[B]

That's true.

[D]

Really?

[B]

That is true.

[A]

Yeah. When I used to work overnights, I.

[B]

Learned that they give them cassette players.

[A]

Yeah, you can have. Because they can't have CDs because they can make them into shivs and everything else from what they.

[B]

I was trying to do that with a cassette.

[A]

So they put, like. They put, like, new music out on cassettes. Even like. Yeah.

[B]

In jail.

[A]

Yeah. You can buy the New Tool album on. On cassette.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

I learned that doing overnight.

[B]

Some recent jailbirds. Because it's been five years, maybe they've changed it.

[A]

Well, that's true. Yeah. At that time.

[B]

How about that?

[E]

The favorite type of music, classic rock ranked first, 19% of the vote. Then country at 11%. Pop, 9%. Hip hop, 8, metal, 7%. R B, 7 alternative, 6%.

[A]

Country was way up there.

[B]

Yeah. Country's too high.

[A]

Yuck.

[B]

Country's the worst.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Somebody told me the other day, she said country's good on a boat. Like, only if you jump in with rocks in your pockets. If you're in the bottom of the. If you're in. If. Look, country's good. If it's a search boat and you're already in the bottom of the water.

[A]

Country'S the dolly steamboat of music.

[B]

Oh, it's. It's the worst. I don't get it.

[E]

The most promiscuous countries in the world, okay. In 2026, they base it on factors mean age, virginity was lost, average number of sexual partners, STD rate per 100,000 people, percent of people who consider premarital sex between adults morally acceptable, legality of prostitution and legality of premarital sex.

[B]

I'm gonna go to one of Toledo's favorite haunts. One of those. Cambodia. Indonesia. That area over there.

[E]

See the closest one there? It's coming in at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Thailand.

[B]

Thailand's out.

[E]

Number nine.

[B]

Are we number one?

[E]

We are. 12.

[B]

Okay. What?

[E]

Correct. 14.

[B]

So it might be one of those African nations we don't know much about. I'll go Uganda.

[E]

South Africa comes in at number 10.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Anything above that? No. Other.

[B]

No African nations. We didn't even do this study over there because we don't know what the villages are like. So it's a European nation, then? Probably.

[E]

No.

[A]

No.

[E]

Well, kind of.

[B]

Well, it is, or it is a.

[E]

Country on its own. It's South.

[B]

South Australia.

[E]

Australia, number one.

[B]

That's not a European nation.

[E]

Yeah, well, it's controlled by.

[B]

It's his own continent.

[E]

I know. Close. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Europe is a continent. You were right. He needs a kidney bag. Not anymore. You're a little older.

[D]

They've fixed it, but it's its own thing.

[E]

Number two.

[B]

Man, that's a tough one.

[E]

You're not gonna get it. Brazil, then Greece.

[B]

Yeah, I was going to say South Africa or South America.

[E]

New Zealand. Germany, In Italy.

[B]

All right.

[D]

I forgot what the study was about.

[B]

Just promiscuous. That wander the streets of Rio de Janeiro. Yeah, Brazil was. I didn't. I don't know any of those stations.

[D]

Guy says I'm holding on. Damn it.

[B]

Dude's got a cassette tape in his radio right now in his car. That's like a time machine, the DeLorean head machine. He's got a cassette player in his car and he sent us a picture of it.

[D]

And it's got a.

[E]

It's the double.

[D]

It's got the CD player.

[B]

Got a CD up top. That is that.

[D]

Nope, he's going with the cassette in it.

[B]

That used to be an extension. Expensive piece of material. And that's got to be a 1994.

[D]

Any guesses on that cassette? I'm guessing Van Halen.

[B]

By the way.

[A]

That's enough.

[B]

That's not. That's not aftermarket. That. That's. No, that's factory radio. That's a 93 or 94 vehicle. Maybe 98. What do you think?

[D]

Is that a Dodge for it?

[A]

It says Toyota gm.

[E]

Oh, it says Toyota right there.

[A]

Oh, does it?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Where?

[E]

Below the cassette.

[B]

No, it does. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, we're all wrong.

[D]

Not close.

[B]

Whoever sent that last part of the.

[E]

Survey, Durex did a survey and found that the Austrian men have the most sexual partners.

[B]

Say it again.

[E]

Says Garnold Durex found that Austrian men had the highest number of sex partners of males around the world. Did I understand 29.3 partners on average?

[B]

Well, I'm bringing up the curve quite a lot, dear.

[E]

Nuts to butts.

[B]

Go nuts to butts with just about everybody and then the 29% of my directs get ruined.

[E]

43 year old Texas woman got arrested after she was doing drugs on a video call with an inmate. Jessica Wolf was smoking meth on the call. Cops showed up at her home on Friday with a warrant. They arrested her for possession of controlled substance with intent to deliver and possession of marijuana. They also found a gun.

[B]

That's still a thing in Texas. Can't have the weed. Must be because I know a couple times in was OP Live, Hazen, Arkansas. It's still not legal habit here. He gets real upset with people, like smell a little marijuana in your car.

[E]

It's not clear who she was video chatting with, but Maybe we'll get some face to face time now since she's gonna go in, the judge set the bond at $650,000.

[B]

Right.

[E]

43 year old Jessica Wolf. You want to guess what Jessica Wolf.

[B]

Jessica Wolf is a fat 43, you say? Yeah, just disgustingly fat. And her hair looks greasy and wet.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Oh, yeah, white.

[B]

White is Caucian hillbilly, Very Caucasian.

[A]

One of Rico Blaze's victims.

[B]

Yeah, and she is. Oh, she's lost, but she looks. She looks a little like meth, you know, Trans. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[E]

The hair was pretty good.

[B]

Yeah, the hair, is that like Dale with long hair? She does look like Dale. That's lady Dale. You know what would make me kill myself? If anybody says, hey, that girl you're seeing looks a lot like Dale. Hell astray. Dale's daughters are very pretty.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Don't know how that happened.

[A]

That's the mom side.

[D]

Thank the mom.

[B]

Her eggs did extra work fighting off Dale DNA.

[A]

Because when he sent pictures over, I was like totally different. Yeah, there's no way.

[B]

His Christmas card looks like they're just, you know, they built a giant and it lives with them.

[E]

Next purpose, From Charlottesville, Virginia. 45 year old Tony Scott being held at the regional jail there after getting upset at workers at Bojangles. They messed up his order and he threatened to blow up the place.

[D]

What's Bojangles?

[B]

It's like a. It's like a Denny or a Denny's. Yeah. Oh, okay.

[E]

45 year old Tony Scott. Want to describe him?

[B]

Tony Scott is a skinny black guy.

[A]

Rico Blaze.

[B]

Yeah, black guy today.

[E]

Nice finalist couple in England. The guy's wife stopped. He kept yelling at her to stop entering in stupid contests. She paid 30 bucks to get into a big charity raffle. Won six million. A six or a $6 million house on a lake. She also won over 300,000 in cash. They've been married for 38 years.

[D]

She took all of it.

[E]

No, they stayed together. But she told the reporter. The reporter. This is precisely why I never listen to my husband.

[A]

And now he's Steadman.

[B]

Yeah, now he's gonna live with that and she's never gonna let him hear the end of it. Can't just be happy. They have to be right and mean about it.

[E]

I got two quick pretty videos, all right? First one is titled man vs Fan Construction or work Hazard.

[B]

Okay. Versus ceiling fan. Not like no big fan. Okay.

[D]

All right, Hang On.

[B]

Oh, it's not the right one.

[A]

Bojangles is. Apparently, is more like raising canes or Popeyes.

[B]

Oh, it is. Okay.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

That sounds good. I'm hungry.

[E]

Chicken.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. We. I think we have one.

[B]

Do we?

[E]

Opening soon?

[B]

Anybody would know. Maybe it's opening soon. Freddie knows the potential of a Bojangles is near. There's been a disturbance in the chicken force. You hear about that one going up on Camel back there where the armadillo grill used to be?

[A]

Bojangles.

[B]

Oh, his eyes just lit up. It's some sort of Houston, Texas, chicken thing. I don't know what it's called, but I was surprised you weren't there. All right. Man V. Fan. It's a surveillance video from the corner of a factory. There's the guy. There's the fan kind of far away. We make it bigger. Oh, geez. What is that? I didn't even see what happened.

[E]

There it is.

[B]

Oh, okay. So it's like a floor fan, and dude's walking by. He just gets sucked right in and blown out the other side. It's immediate. Why is that even on? Why does that thing exist?

[E]

A bunch of them.

[D]

Look at the other one down there.

[B]

Oh, I know, but it's just an airplane propeller just in the middle of a showroom. Oh, my God. He just gets sucked right into it. Blows him up. Oh.

[D]

Oh.

[E]

Let's lighten it up with a bulldog doing the single bulldog luge.

[B]

This. This is a. This is a. AI. I've been watching this bulldog. Yeah, he's been AI. But it's really neat still. But he goes down. He just slides himself down sideways. What's the name of this thing? They throw this bulldog just. But it's been. He. There's another. Well, that might be the. That's.

[E]

That looks real.

[B]

I know, but there's. There's one where he's jumping off of, like, tons of mountains. Yeah, that might be a different one. But no, I don't know, because I've seen.

[E]

Because that's a waste of time.

[B]

If it's a similar. A similar bulldog and they go down like the side of.

[E]

If that's AI.

[B]

Isn't his name like AI something, though?

[D]

Primo bulldog.

[B]

Okay, that's a different one. The one. Yeah, they're doing that because that other fake bulldog is getting famous. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[A]

Before we get into that, we have to. Brady is correct.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The first Bojangles opening up in Gilbert in spring of 26 on the Northeast Corner of Valveston Mercy.

[B]

It's right by you. Then I don't even know where that is. By the hospital.

[A]

By the two of.

[B]

That's what everybody says when they're e. Yeah. Oh, Lord. Mercy, Bojangles. Mercy. They just changed the name of the streets. Where are you? Well, welcome. Thanks for calling Bojangles. Where are you located? We're on the corner of Gilbert Mercy. Yeah. All right, fine. Gilbert and Mercy.

[A]

Maybe we should have black Lady Brady out.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Let's get black Lady Brady out there. Oh, Lord. First 20 people come down here get themselves Alamina and a pack of 9 volt batteries. I don't know what supposed to do that. People try to take your food, I guess.

[E]

I suppose.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

All right, we'll start with this one here. I don't know if this is AI or not, but.

[B]

All right. Guy walking down a. What looks like a kind of a little walkway through underground mall or something. And he just kicks a lady in the face. No reason.

[D]

It's a food delivery driver.

[B]

Oh, man. Is that Larry? I think that might be Larry McFeely. He's got his Uber eats backpack. Some ladies just walking next to him. They're alone. And he turns and gives her a high kick right to the schnoz. Boom. Drops her like a bad habit. And he just moves on with his day. With crazy eyes.

[E]

Feels much better now.

[B]

Looks like suns. Coach Jordan ott those crazy eyes. All right, another one.

[A]

I think this was taken to Maryville.

[B]

There's an overhead camera outside of some bodega. Some lady walks by. A guy just walks up and clocks a woman.

[E]

Wow. Down the street.

[B]

And he just keeps walking.

[E]

He's gonna clock more.

[B]

Baby walked up and just punched a lady in the face and dropped her like a connected. Dropped her like a one foot putt. Boom. Glasses flew across the. Wow. That is a clean punch. He had no idea that was gonna happen.

[A]

And this was just entitled Badass cops.

[B]

Oh, Rico, Blazer, watch the cars. The cop car's flying through an open parking lot to stop a car that's going a billion miles an hour. Oh, he does a full spinning stop. And then the cop, one of them gets out and he's on the hood of the car and he jumps off. TJ Hooker show through the.

[D]

What the.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know.

[E]

I don't know. Yeah.

[B]

Wow, that was awesome. He jumped through the windshield of the bad guy's car and got in for a movie. It might be a movie even if.

[A]

It is AI or Whatever, that's cool.

[B]

It looks like it's up on the big screen, too, while it's going on, that it might be one of those training things possibly that they're goofing around and they're. That was awesome.

[A]

And out of all the videos we've seen, this is. I don't think we've seen this yet.

[B]

All right, let's take a look. Play by. Play begins with vagina on the top. Part of. It's like a zoom call between a vagina upside down sack and what? The dude's balls are on top of his. Wait a minute.

[E]

Wait.

[D]

What?

[B]

He's got balls on top of his vagina and no penis. And there's a little, like some sort of urethra there.

[D]

Is that the same person on top of.

[B]

Hold on a second.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'll just regroup here. It just looks like a. I don't know what I'm looking at here. I'm trying to explain it. I'm trying to help you guys. It looks like it's. It's a set of balls where the top of a vagina should be. And he's. It's like a giant.

[E]

It'll explain it [e-mail].

[B]

It'S like if you had a massive lady button in scrotum skin and then there's a urethra under it. This is just a. I don't get it. I'd sue the IVF people for this too.

[D]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

What's the top thing?

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

That's what I was thinking.

[B]

I can't even. I don't even know if that's not human. That's where the simulation is completely shattered. How does that guy.

[E]

Or girl.

[B]

What is that? How does that thing date? I'd show everybody, by the way, if I had one of those.

[E]

That's why he's doing it.

[B]

I would never have pants ever if I had one of those. Be like you guys have every day. You gotta want to see the thing.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Everybody like, yeah, let me see it. Show them the thing, John. I had that one, dude.

[E]

You know how easy you'd get wrecked?

[B]

Well, that guy that I told you about 25 years ago, whose nickname was Sale, and I made the mistake of asking, why do they call you Sale? And he just started laughing. And he pulled his pants down. He lifted his scrotum up, put his fist in the back of it. It looked like a boat sail. And I'm like, that is something I would show everyone. Every day. I have a disturbing amount of scrotum skin, but I can't do the sale. I can pull it up there pretty good, but anyway, work on it. I have actually did work on it for a minute, but it's not comfortable. This is. Did Brady lose a kidney and compare Bojangles to Denny's. Tighten it up, sheath.

[E]

Yeah, I was slacking. I knew you're right.

[B]

There's gonna be one on Gilbert.

[E]

I knew that.

[B]

Oh, mercy me. Oh, Lord almighty.

[E]

Boulevard.

[B]

We got a Bojangles coming. He said he knew.

[A]

I mean, credit.

[D]

It's right in his neighborhood, basically by Campo Verde High School.

[B]

Winston said, I'm glad that got straightened out because I purposely did not text you to correct Bojangles, or I'd have taken. Well, yeah, Winston, we would. We wouldn't have made fun of that, but it would have been hilarious had you jumped on that. Brady's got you. Don't worry. Oh, Lord Jesus.

[E]

Oh, Lord.

[B]

And Gilbert Road, that's where I can't not see. Bojangleson. There you go, everybody. Those are the stories in your Brady Report for January 21, 2026. Arizona's most powerful, powerful ROC radio station.