01-21-26 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode: 01-21-26 – Full Show (Wednesday, January 21, 2026)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is packed with the crew’s signature blend of irreverent humor, wild stories, social commentary, and personal anecdotes. The hosts riff on classic “men vs. women” debates, viral internet moments, Arizona news, and the strange world of fertility clinics gone wrong. They also take aim at pop culture (with a particular focus on a porn star at a college football game), exchange stories of public restroom etiquette gone awry, and roast everything from smoke detector stereotypes to Black and white cultural quirks. Topped with their “Rock Wars” music segment and lively listener input, this episode delivers a full slice of the HMS flavor.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Historical Law: “No Smoking for Women” (00:44–04:55)

• The morning opens with Brett sharing a quirky 1908 law banning women from smoking in public, quickly vetoed by NYC's mayor.
  • “If chicks couldn’t smoke in public, guys would have a harder time spotting the girls who do.” (Brett, 00:17)
• The hosts riff on the way men have always adapted to societal restrictions in their pursuit of women.
• Classic HMS bit: roasting the motivations behind “old-timey” laws for their effects on dating and gender roles.
  • “Dudes have always tried to get to poon. That’s what it’s always been about.” (Brett, 01:23)

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2. Modern Gender Debates and Dating Economics (02:07–04:57)

• John describes watching a podcast where women debate whether men bring value to relationships.
  • “If you could snap your fingers, would you just eliminate men altogether?” (John summarizing, 03:31)
• The segment lampoons high expectations: some women say a man must make $300k–$13 million to date.
  • “You date liars. There aren’t that many dudes making $13 million looking for you.” (Internet podcast host, relayed by John, ~04:34)
• The panel laughs at the reality check and modern relationship demands.

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3. Email & Local News: The QT Bathroom Shooting and “Cuts" Etiquette (05:00–18:59)

• Brett reads a listener email about a hostile incident in a QT line, poking at the “bowling pin lesbian” stereotype.
  • “Calm down now. What does QT do? They open up a second register…” (06:40)
• Transition to a grim local news story: a man is shot at a convenience store for cutting in the bathroom line.
• Extended riff on how adults revert to "second grade" when arguing about line etiquette.
  • “It’s like, no cuts! It never stops being juvenile.” (Brett, 08:06)
• Both humorous and darkly absurd, the hosts dissect the “cuts” phenomenon in public and share stories of erupting over trivial inconveniences.

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4. Restroom Stories: Public Bathroom Antics & Gross-Out Tales (18:03–20:56)

• Brady and Brett retell stories of people losing control in public restrooms:
  • The “lady at Tony Roma’s just pissing on the sidewalk” and the urinating spectator at the drag races.
  • “She was actively urinating and looked down… It was a lot, too.” (Brady, 18:44)

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5. Porn Star Abella Danger Goes Viral at National Championship (20:56–34:20)

• Discussion on ESPN lingering on famed porn actress Abella Danger during a game.
  • "Every man watching went, 'Hey, that’s Abella Danger! I've seen her…'" (Brett, 22:36)
• The hosts joke about the awkwardness for men caught recognizing her on TV with wives/girlfriends present.
• Abella Danger’s apology for “distracting” from the game is ridiculed.
  • “She can’t go on TV without the world starting to go, Oh…I beat off to that.” (Brett, 25:49)
• Everybody shares stories of meeting or recognizing adult film stars, with an increasingly ridiculous search for old photos with Abella.

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6. "Ass Recognition Software" and Sexual Culture in America (34:20–39:24)

• Brett claims superhuman “ass recognition,” riffing hilariously on the ability to identify people by butts rather than faces.
• "You got facial recognition; I have ass recognition." (Brett, 35:56)
• Extended comedy on the male gaze, beauty standards, and the enduring power of “bubble butts” in porn and pop culture.

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7. Listener Email: WNBA Recruiting Prostitutes, Social Satire (41:20–43:29)

• Listener email suggests the WNBA recruit athletic prostitutes from "The Blade" (“they’re tall and in shape!”); hosts run with the satire, picturing a “badass” team comprised of former sex workers.

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8. Outrageous IVF Clinic Lawsuit & "This Bitch Here" (43:29–63:33)

• Major segment about a Florida woman suing a fertility clinic after giving birth to a child of a different ethnicity.
  • “This bitch here managed to get her DNA scrubbed… Dudes are humping it double time at work, and she’s blaming the doctor!” (Brett, 46:49)
• Fierce speculation: was it a lab mix-up or infidelity? The crew jokes about race, adoption, the cost of IVF, and the “arrogance” of demanding your own DNA.
• Repeated use of the new bit: “This Bitch Here…”

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9. Cultural Stereotypes: Smoke Alarms, Black & White Home Routines (113:27–123:33)

• Multiple listener emails about the stereotype that black households ignore chirping smoke alarms—hosts respond, roast everyone (including “white people just take them down!”).
  • “There is nothing funnier than that chirp…” (Brett, 115:01)
• Extended tangent on the universal aggravation of the low-battery chirp and comically racialized responses to home maintenance.

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10. Rock Wars: Best Opening Line in a Rock Song (137:36–145:44)

• Topic: Choose the coolest opening line from a rock song.
• Picks:
  • Brett: Volbeat, “Counting all the assholes in the room…”
  • John: Disturbed’s cover of “Sound of Silence” (“Hello darkness, my old friend…”)
  • Brady (winner): Rolling Stones' “Sympathy for the Devil” (“Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste…”)
• Listener call determines Brady as the winner; brief debate about best versions of the song.

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11. Other Segments: Fun Facts, Music Survey, Most Promiscuous Countries

• World facts: Which country has the “tallest mountain by distance from the Earth’s center?”
• US falls behind Australia in global promiscuity ranks.
• Listener sends photo of a car stereo with a cassette deck (rare!).

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12. Brady Report: News of the Weird

• Amusing local/crime stories (Jessica Wolf, Texas meth use on video call; Tony Scott threatening Bojangles staff)
• “Braided Video” bits: Man vs. factory fan, AI bulldog videos, and more.

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13. Closing Segments: Trump’s Greenland Comments (125:35–135:14)

• The crew lampoons Trump's speech about wanting to “buy” Greenland:
  • “That’s one nice piece of ice. You know what I’m doing, right?” (Trump, as impersonated by John, 129:37)
• Historical context, more comedy on global politics and American embarrassment, but always deferring to the absurd hilarity of current events.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On gender relations:

  • “Would you just eliminate men altogether?... Within a week, 40% of the female population is dead if we’re not here.” (John, paraphrasing podcast, ~03:51)

• On cuts and convenience store lines:

  • “Cuts piss people off. You get in line ahead of somebody and suddenly we’re back in second grade.” (Brett, 08:06)

• On playground justice:

  • "You can't kill a guy over cuts...that ended for me in 8th grade." (Brett, 10:15)

• On porn star Abella Danger at the championship game:

  • “Every man watching went, hey, that’s Abella Danger...I know her mouth!” (Brett, 22:36)
  • “I would sue if I was her. All the headlines say Sophie Cunningham has herpes. Nobody associates ‘herpes’ with a cold sore.” (Brett on WNBA player’s story, 111:07)

• On “ass recognition”:

  • “There’s software to recognize faces, Brett recognizes people by their ass.” (John, 35:52)

• On smoke alarms and stereotypes:

  • “You just take them down. Your house isn’t going to burn down. You’ll be fine.” (Brett, 122:03)
  • “There is nothing funnier than that chirp...Everywhere. I mean, do they not sell 9-volts at Dollar General?” (Brett, 115:01)

• On Trump’s Greenland ambitions:

  • “If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking German or a little Japanese...All we’re asking is for that piece of ice.” (John as Trump, 129:37)

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Final Thoughts

This episode is quintessential HMS—raunchy, unfiltered, and rapid-fire. The controversial bits (“This Bitch Here”, “ass recognition”, outright roasting of political and social targets) are delivered with tongue-in-cheek irreverence. The hosts expertly switch from local news and personal confessions to over-the-top satire of everything from culture wars to international politics. Anyone tuning in for laughs, shock value, and a distinct Arizona flavor will find plenty to enjoy here.

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Timestamps for Key Segments:

• 00:44 – Smoking Law History / Dating Humor
• 02:07 – Modern Gender/Dating Economics Riff
• 05:00 – Email: QT Line Cuts Story
• 08:06 – Line-Cutting, Public Shoots
• 18:03 – Restroom Antics (Drag Races, Tony Roma)
• 20:56 – Porn Star Abella Danger at Championship Game
• 34:20 – “Ass Recognition Software”
• 41:20 – WNBA Should Recruit Prostitutes (Listener Email)
• 43:29 – IVF Lawsuit Story / “This Bitch Here”
• 113:27 – Smoke Alarm Stereotypes
• 137:36 – Rock Wars: Best Opening Lyrics
• 125:35 – Trump on Greenland

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For listeners new and old, this episode is a deep-dive into the uncensored banter and Arizona-centric weirdness that keeps HMS #1 in the Valley.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. This is the Morning Sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's go and get this thing started. Because the faster you start it, the faster it ends. Let's go. Seriously, it's double time. We're gonna get out of here by 8:00 today. I got a lot to do.

[John Holmberg]

It's like the other morning shows.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. They're already leaving. Start the show. I had something in my head. Brady handed me a thing that said, 118 years ago today, January 21, 1908, which was the year my grandpa was born. He'd have been 118. Jesus Christ. He looked that he looked at ever since. He was always 118. It says 1908. New York City lawmakers passed a law making it illegal for women to smoke in public. Mayor George McClellan Jr. Wisely vetoed it two weeks later because he realized that if chicks couldn't smoke in public, guys would have a harder time spotting the girls who do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

All right. No matter what you think of the olden days and puritanical everything, dudes have always tried to get to poon. And that's it. That's what it's always been about.

[John Holmberg]

Put that guy in Mount Rushmore, please. That's exactly right.

[Brett]

That's what. That's a hell of a mayor right there. What is our mayor doing to get us laid? Anything?

[Brady]

Imagine how many cities had that law.

[Brett]

Yeah. And they're like, oh, they're right. You can't tell who the whores are unless they're outside smoking. I think that's half the reason they passed all those laws that you couldn't smoke inside. There she is. There's one standing out there. She's brave in the cold, so she can suck on something anytime. A girl will brave 10 degree temperatures just to suck something. She's a keeper.

[John Holmberg]

That's the way it was in high school, too. Oh, yeah, there's one.

[Brett]

And there was a girl I was dated smoked, but she didn't stink, which was the key. You can't smoke and stink. You can't smell like that. That's truth. Man Breaker. What a great Thing. I watched the thing on the Internet yesterday where the. On, on the Insta Instagrams they had. It's the whatever podcast pops up every once in a while. And it's intriguing because the guy asked the girls. He's got these girls in there and they're kind of. He's like, just defend yourselves against like common traits of what women are, you know, like paying for all the dates guys do, all the chivalrous stuff. What. What did men get in return? I mean, he's kind of like almost Charlie Kirk. He's been. Charlie Kirk used to go on the show. Charlie Kirk was. He's not like political. I know he is, but he's not outwardly political. He's just kind of like, explain to me why a guy should get into a relationship with one of you. He's gonna have to pay for everything. He's gonna. And then he's gotta. And it's like he's buying something and he still has to earn it. And so he says, tell me something. And I just started laughing. I'm like, oh my God, this is mean. But it's kind of true. He said, if you could snap your fingers, would you just eliminate men altogether? Cause you seem frustrated with men. And she goes, oh yeah. And she's calling him a misogynist the whole time. He said, so you'd kill every man on the planet and I'm the woman hater and that's bad, but you would, with a snap a finger, kill everyone on the planet? She goes, I just think it would be a more peaceful better place. And he goes, and I just started laughing. He goes, within a week, 40% of the female population is dead if we're not here. How do you figure? He goes, one fire and it rages for months. He goes to all the firefighters. There's women firefighters. He goes, yeah, but nuh, not like that. And he said, infrastructure where your trash wouldn't get picked up. Plumbing issues. Wouldn't know you don't do the jobs that men do. And she starts like getting all weepy eyed. You're just an asshole. You said you would kill every man on the planet with, with, with a Loki stick. And I'm the asshole? This isn't right. I just started laughing. I'm like, ooh, we're eventually going to have a man woman war. I mean, we'd win that in a heartbeat. But still, she was pretty. And that was the thing. He takes these women who are like most of them that feel entitled because they're beautiful and start Talking about all the things they're gonna get. And oh, his best question is always like, what's the minimum a man has to make for you to like be with. To be with you? None of them say anything less than $300,000. And one said, 13 million. Like you have to make 13. You realize what small pool of man you're dealing with? I date him. I find him and I date him. And he goes, you date liars. There aren't that many dudes making 13 million who are still looking for and going into just the street. He goes, it's usually somebody, they're not just gonna find you. Well, I date him all the time. He goes, let me see your hand. Raise your hand. No ring. He goes, yeah, see, you're. You're not finding anything. You're just getting banged by millionaires or.

[John Holmberg]

$30,000 a year or a liar.

[Brett]

Yeah, I found it.

[John Holmberg]

Old town Scottsdale, guys.

[Brett]

I found it hysterical. I watched the the local news last night and I had this email sitting on me yesterday after the show. This could have gone double sideways. This dude emails me and says, john, I got into it at a QT today. You know how the lines are at that place are kind of like sort of two at once in a weird way. So I get in what I think is the line, and a mean little lesbian says, hey, come on, don't be a jerk. Line starts back here. And she had a hat that said f ice on it. So had she said it nicely, I'd have just gone back to line. But there was so much attitude. So I said, oh, I'm sorry, sir. It sucks when people cut the line and don't follow the rules, doesn't it? There should be laws or rules against that. She was quiet, but on the way out she says, f you, trump tard. So I went to the classics and said, shut up, dyke. She noticed that the QT guy was laughing, so she knocked a bunch of stuff off the shelf and then ran out. I wasn't a trump tard before, but I am now. I say I should jail all lesbians who look like bowling pins with flat tops. Love you guys. Glenn F Trump 2028. All right, Glenn, you've gone too far.

[Brady]

The other.

[Brett]

But yeah, interesting to wear an f ice hat and statement and then say, you can't cut. Yeah, like to get angry at somebody for cutting the line. And I don't want to go. Chris Berman. Yeah, that got a little bit weird. Yeah, hilarious though. But you turned. That's what you're doing. Crazy bowling Pen lesbians. You're turning people who aren't Trump tards into Trump tards just for not wanting to be on your team. Calm down now.

[Brady]

What does QT do? They open up a second register, speed up the system.

[Brett]

QT's does get confusing sometimes. Where do I stand if somebody goes, hi, hi. Or now, yeah, go, and he's working on somebody else with his left hand. They're.

[Brady]

Some guys are really good.

[Brett]

They're good at that. That QT is that they're ambidextrous. But on the heels of that, I watched the news last night, and at another qt, a dude shot a guy for cutting the line at the bathroom.

[Brady]

Oh, boy.

[Brett]

It was like a week ago, though. So I had this email from Glenn yesterday as I was mopping up, like, oh, I'll read that tomorrow. That's a good one. Anything that includes bowling pin lesbians with Ralphie May's hair. She said homeless guys killed. Killed a guy who attempted to confront him about cutting the bathroom line at a Phoenix QT. Now, again, it was a. DeAndre Franklin was taken into custody for shooting Danny Castor. DeAndre's 25, Danny's 52, just before 8am on January 16th. This is a week ago. And it wasn't like the west side. It was Arcadia, 44th street and Oak. That's right.

[John Holmberg]

On the road again.

[Brett]

Yep. Yeah. Well, I don't have pictures, but DeAndre Franklin and I think Brett's gonna go down the road there. And Danny Castor, which is. I got nothing there, I would assume. Oh, yeah, Come on. Correct.

[John Holmberg]

He lived in that neighborhood.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's probably true. But DeAndre shot Danny because they cuts is, like, never stops being juvenile. Couldn't cut in second grade. And you'd think eventually you'd be like, it's all right. You cuts piss people off. Like, you get in line ahead of somebody, and suddenly we're all back in second grade. No cuts like it is. Adults lose their mind over cuts. It's a huge. People getting shot over cuts. Lesbians tearing down QT over cuts. And the guy accidentally did it. By the way, how busy is the QT bathroom? That there's a line. Yeah, I mean, clamp it up, and.

[Brady]

In the morning, you're a bunch of people that don't want to do take a dump at work.

[Brett]

Oh, but at qt.

[Brady]

Yeah, they go to qt.

[Brett]

Oh, man. Well, go next door to the dirty drummer or something. And I don't think it's open. Sure. That place has to be open at 6 in the morning.

[John Holmberg]

Or just do Scott Taylor and come in here and just do it here.

[Brett]

Jesus. Scott Taylor. He's here right now dumping. I saw his car pull in. He immediately goes to the can.

[John Holmberg]

Probably clinched when he was running down the hall.

[Brett]

No, he wakes up in the morning, goes, ah, that's gonna be a good one for my co workers. And then he just. He holds it, probably drinks a pot of coffee, loosen it up a little bit, throws it at us like a gorilla at the zoo. Yeah, I didn't know, but cuts are a thing. I'm not that upset with cuts. Usually my cuts. What's this guy think he's doing? Like, I don't ever really get. I've never screamed, hey, no cuts ever. Unless there's like eight, nine people. I'm like, guys, you can't cut. Because I think I've. I think it balances out, I think, cuts in life. Like, there's been plenty of times I've been in line and Brady's like, hey, what's going on? Like, just pretend like you were supposed to be here. One of those deals where a friend comes up and you just get in line with them. It's not cuts. We were.

[Brady]

That happens a lot at. You know, whether it's a movie theater. Oh, sure, sure.

[Brett]

Well, you're waiting for a friend, right? Or you see a guy like, hey, yeah. Oh, just act like we're supposed to be here. And then you do cuts. But I'm.

[Brady]

It's.

[Brett]

We're way too old to have cuts. Piss us off, aren't we?

[Brady]

For shootings?

[Brett]

Like, you can't kill a guy over cuts. I don't even yell at anybody. Hey, don't cut. It's like, that ended for me, like, 8th grade cuts, those cuts. Like, I'll get there. I'm just like, yeah, yeah, what a jerk. He's cutting. Like, if it's a dude by himself and he looks around and he just goes slink in the line.

[Brady]

Now if there's something on the line, like, it's a cut, I can see the rage. Again, not shooting, but, like, if it's. There's only so many available. You've been in line waiting to buy.

[Brett]

And then somebody just shoots in the middle line, but what are you doing? Like, what is so many available tickets?

[Brady]

It used to be, like, when tickets would go on sale.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you're not 28,000th in line. If tickets go on sale. You're probably getting tickets if you got there early. And if one dude cuts in front of you now again, it was just a constant stream of people just make. Yeah, there's laws to lines, there's rules.

[Brady]

American Idol never seemed like they had rage or maybe they hit them.

[Brett]

Maybe they do. But there's that line. We're all going to the same place. Take a breath. And lesbians, you can't wear an f ice hat and be mad about people being taken out of line and put in the back of the line and then get, you know, violent at the qt.

[Brady]

It could have been tight on time. Going to a protest or something.

[Brett]

Yeah, gotta run to that protest. And that dude's getting his five hour energy drink bogging down her time. She might have been a late lesbian. She might have just gotten the side of her head shaved and it took a little longer than they expected because they hit a burl or a knothole or something in her head because they have those.

[John Holmberg]

She had her shift to title nine.

[Brett]

She was running late.

[John Holmberg]

Man.

[Brett]

Their game is cut like that. Gotta open all the sports was Sun's game. That was pretty neat. Oh, they're still there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, nice protests.

[Brett]

That's probably. They're showing all the protests at title nine anyway. Evident. Yeah, but you don't want to be cutting a lesbian's hair and hit a burl. You can't. That takes forever.

[Brady]

You tangle it, ruin your razor.

[Brett]

Oh, your razor's done. Your electrics get locked in. You can't do it. Did you hit a burl? It was a cowlick, but I honestly believe it could be a table. Anyway, I like angry lesbians. I had my run in with an angry lesbian at the swizzle in that time. She started to want to physically fight me. I wasn't even involved in the problem in the place. I was trying to break it up. But always know. Learned this from years of self defense training. If you can de escalate the situation, do it.

[Brady]

Now.

[Brett]

Over the break I had that lady get in front of me. She cut out, ironically out of the swizzle in and nearly hit me and cut me off. Didn't even see it. And I got in front of her and just stopped my car in the middle of Bethany home road and put the tops off, put both my fingers in the air and then she started to scream at me and I started to scream back ironically. I'm on the phone with Jay Ackerman at the time, the guy who runs react defense self defense training and he's like John ds. You don't know what she's got in that car. And I'm Like, I don't care. I hate her. Right? And I was boiling, and I. Then I screamed, I hope your cancer gets aids, you. And I blocked the entrance to the freeway for everyone because she needed on it. I just parked probably about 45 seconds. Drove her crazy. That was my favorite thing in the world to do. So I understand it, but she nearly hit me with a car that's not cut. Cuts are dangerous. Be careful with that. This guy says cutting the beer line is a great album name. That is true. Cutting the beer line. This one says. Yeah, well, that's what the guy says. He says, you're. Everybody gets it, Adam, you're way behind. He said, you can be mad at someone for cutting qt, but you're jumping the borders. Acceptable. Yeah. Catch up, Adam. That's the whole point of his story. I think he got lost in the lesbian with burl hair.

[John Holmberg]

All the bouncing ball.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. You got to keep up the f ice hat was the key to the story being, you know, mad. But now you can't wear an f ice hat and then get mad at cuts. You should be four cuts, I think, right? Don't you?

[Brady]

Yeah, in a way, yeah.

[Brett]

And for the want of one letter, she absolutely loves cuts on ladies. You know, if you just add a to a certain to the middle, you just throw it. She's a big fan of the cuts with that extra letter, so she should calm down. But, yeah, be careful and always de. Escalate. Don't worry about it. Qt. Those dudes are so fast back there. Ladies, too. So quick. Bringing you out of the QT that cuts, you'll barely even notice. I have no idea how it works. I've stood just, like, idiotically just outside of where the line starts and waited for somebody to go, hi. They. They always hate qt. Always says hello to you. Like, they. Yeah, sometimes it's not that authentic, but they hear the door open, they go, hi, thank you for coming. Hi. And they're looking down by design. Oh, Dutch brothers is annoying, but, yeah, QT has to say hello. Same way.

[Brady]

Well, they do it for safety reasons, too. Acknowledging that I see you in here.

[Brett]

Is that why? Yeah, I think it's just to be friendly. I think that's safe around.

[Brady]

Hey, how you doing?

[Brett]

Really? You think that's for safety?

[Brady]

Yeah, it's just like cameras talk about when no one gives you eye contact or.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't like that. Look away.

[Brady]

It won't let you know they're aware you're here.

[Brett]

Yeah, I think it's one of those things where they're trying to. Like the marketing says everybody likes to be acknowledged and recognized as human beings. It's Bob. That's a Bob move. The QT Bobs are like, if we said hello to everyone inauthentically as they walked in, they'd feel it more at home. Brady's put, hey, I'm watching you.

[Brady]

When they look over and say. When you look over and say hi to him back, you know you're on camera.

[Brett]

And they do that. Fingers on their eyes to your eyes.

[Brady]

Identified you. Hi.

[Brett]

Thanks for saying hi. Got my eyes on you, Mother. Welcome to qt. Anyway, I like it.

[Brady]

It's a nice gun.

[Brett]

You'll see. Anyway, be careful with the cuts. I worry about that because, you know, I don't think I've ever. I don't think since like, seventh or eighth grade I've ever yelled, hey, you, cut. I think I'm kind of over. I do see it as frustrating, but I don't think I've ever yelled at anyone.

[Brady]

Usually talk about it with the people. Look at that.

[Brett]

Yeah. Are you cutting?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

No. I do think it's kind of. Because I've benefited greatly from cutting. A couple times at Disneyland, I found little gaps in the system and end up halfway in the line. And ironically, the one time I did get caught was by a guy who listens to the show here. Happened to be right behind us. The line gapped out to Pirates of the Caribbean, and I'm, like, not paying attention. Shot right in front of him, and then line caught up to the spot and stacked it like I was supposed to be there. And the guy behind me goes, hey, Holmberg, you weren't there a few minutes ago, huh?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

His name was Chris. Ended up hanging out the whole day at the park. It was fun. We had a good time. Cut. Brought friends together, and it did cut out about 45 minutes of that Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Brady]

Huge.

[Brett]

It's a big one. You got to get on the Pirates when you're at Disneyland. Cutting's okay there, but, yeah, be careful with the qt and don't shoot each other over the potty. You never know. I know Scott Taylor's got a liquid brew that's shooting out of him like he's a colander, but it's like the.

[John Holmberg]

Slime under the city at Ghostbusters, too.

[Brett]

That's what he does.

[John Holmberg]

The hate comes out of it.

[Brett]

He's probably. He probably stopped by a QT to poop, get more coffee so he could poop here. Yeah, but you Never know. So there's a Scott Taylor. If you need the bathroom so much that you're gonna run in front of me, I'm gonna let you have it. I'm never in anybody's. Like, if you're in a hurry to go to the bathroom, door is yours.

[Brady]

Again. I go back to the nhra. We let that lady go ahead. She asked me, but I think it was a little late.

[Brett]

She was actually pissing in the line. You guessed, man. Brady and I were at the drag races. We're walking out of the thing and there's two. Two porta johns and Brie's like, I gotta go wee wee. That's what he says to me. I'm like, all right, being an adult. Oh, and I tinkle. I gotta go now. So we stood in line. I was holding his hand, and we're standing in line and stuff, and this lady taps on the shoulder. Can I get ahead of you guys? I really gotta go. And she was bombed. She slowly looks down, and she looks down and she is like actively urinating.

[Brady]

Us to look down.

[Brett]

I don't think you need this as bad as you think. I think you're doing pretty good on your own.

[John Holmberg]

A slob.

[Brady]

It was soiled.

[Brett]

Yeah, she. I mean, it was a lot too. She wasn't like. It wasn't a little bit. She had let go the same way Scott Taylor does here. Just all the sphincter muscles relax and everything comes out.

[Brady]

That top fuel got me.

[Brett]

That's awesome how that beer and man energy. I don't know if this is a squirt or a pee, but either way, it's coming out and it's coming out in gushies.

[John Holmberg]

I just saw John Force.

[Brett]

John Force smiled at me. It just looks like that. No, he smiled right at me. And I became real moist, like a humid day in Chicago. And then glooping it. It's glooping out.

[Brady]

Gonna clean it up with some of that blue.

[Brett]

Look down, boys.

[John Holmberg]

Sort of viscous.

[Brett]

I don't know what that is. It's a little bit like glue.

[Brady]

Those are nice jean cutoffs.

[Brett]

That was crazy. I forgot about her. Well, that time I delivered to Tony Romas and that lady was standing there in a moo moo, and she's just laughing at me and. And I'm handing her the food, like $30, whatever. And she's just like. And her husband goes, you think we're crazy, don't you? And I'm like, no. And I look down and she is just pissing all over the Sidewalk. And they are laughing and I'm like, oh, my God. You want to come in with us? No, I do not. I will. Here's your food. It's free tonight. That was a good move.

[John Holmberg]

I will pay for it myself.

[Brett]

I have got this. Goodbye. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that. Horrible. Morning sickness. But, yeah, be careful out there. People who have to pee, people are going to cut. It's going to happen. Don't know if you guys watched the Suns game last night, but Kevin Ray made me basically the same as a Bella Danger at the national championship game the other night. I am. I am Kevin Ray. Sons announcers. Brand liability. Sure, we're friends. I've gotten texts from friends recently that say, hey, don't talk about me being gay in your car and don't say who I am. You got it, Mark. I won't do that ever again. That's wrong. So just joking with him about it. Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't want to use his name. I'm not going to do it. But, yeah. It's like, you're a jerk. I'm like, I'm brand liability. You're my friend. You be a good friend. Sure. You talk about me at work, and I don't even get to hear it. At least I'm open about. I'm more transparent. Everything I talk about at work goes out on the air when I talk about friends making my car gay. I did have a girl the other day see my car and go, oh, that's so cute. I'm like, yeah, cute's not the word I like there, but it is a cool car. She goes, it's the coolest car I've ever seen. How do I get to be as cool as you? And I'm like, you have no idea who I am. You don't want this. You don't want this. This is not cool. The car might be. You can have the car here. And that's, you know. But Kevin is always saying stuff like, yeah, well, you know. You want to come on the show? Yeah, I'll come on, but maybe I shouldn't. I don't know. I got to talk about. I'm like, all right, I get a brand liability. And then we're hanging around together, and people see us together. And you can tell when somebody important comes by because Kevin kind of takes a few steps away. I don't blame him, but I'm his. Abella Danger. Abella Danger, the porn star from Miami, cheering like crazy. Goes to the school and they Put her on the television way too long, couple of times. The cameraman knew. No, it was. Well, the big one was the crucial moment in the fourth quarter. And she was on the screen for like 25 seconds. The cameraman knew, the director knew. And then every man watching went, hey, that's a Bella Danger. I've seen her with Johnny Sins and I've seen her work. And then the world laughed. The Internet caught it. She's apologizing.

[Brady]

Why?

[Brett]

For being a Bella Danger. For B. She's like, I'm so sorry if it distracted from the school, my presence. And I want to apologize. I didn't ask ESPN to put me on, but they did. And she goes, I want to apologize for that. And I'm like, you don't have to apologize for that. So then I know how she feels. Because last night I text Kevin Ray during the game about Sun's forward, Jalen Green. And ironically, Scott Taylor from the toilet texts me, goes, hey, I just heard the shout out. So Kevin says, longtime listener, first time caller John Holmberg has. Has chimed in. And he said, my question, I asked. There's a Bella Danger. That's her right there on the screen. And yeah, every man goes, I know her mouth. And she's not allowed to be on tv, evidently. And she's like, I just wanted to apologize for taking away from the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't think I've watched anything with her.

[Brett]

Yeah. She said, I wish I could be any other student just supporting my team, but I can't. She says, I apologize for taking away from me. You didn't take away from anything, you little angel.

[Brady]

You've done nothing. But I didn't know who that was.

[Brett]

Oh, Brady. Well, that's not surprising now.

[Brady]

Now I do.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. See, that's who she is. There's some pictures that'll get you to know her. A Bella Danger is. I don't think I've watched anything really. Yeah, she's everywhere, man.

[John Holmberg]

I'm missing out.

[Brett]

Yeah, no, you are. You really are. Yeah, she's been around a lot. That goddamn recognizable, immediate. Yeah. Katie Hopps kind of made it hard for us to get to it, but yeah. And then she's like the number one search on pornhub now, because dudes. Yeah, you know what? That sounds good. Bella Danger sounds like a nice little before bed snack. So she's. Yeah, but she had to apologize just for being. That's how stupid our country is. It's. Every man recognized her like eight. You don't get celebrities that you're recognizing where they put people on tv, and there's Alex Earl. I'm like, who the hell is that? Oh, she's an influencer. And she was on Dancing with the Stars, and half people are like, I don't know who that is. A Bella Danger that rang the bell. There were probably 60, 70% of dudes watching the college football championship. Well, hey, there's a Bella Danger. Or at least said, that chick looks just like a Bella Danger. And everybody will be. Not everybody's a porn perv. Yeah. All right, well, you just announced. You might as well have just typed, I know. Want to be friends. Like, okay, that's fair. Me neither. I'm gay. Some of us love our wives. What a stupid thing to say. Is she reading your phone right now? I understand. I'll. I'll wing you on that one.

[John Holmberg]

I had to say that, bro.

[Brett]

She was right. Now she's right there. I get it. I get it, man. Looking at her in the car, can you believe this? I don't even know why we listen to him. Yeah, normally. I understand. I understand.

[John Holmberg]

You couldn't.

[Brett]

Normally, I'm not in the car.

[Brady]

This is terrible. I feel sorry for his family.

[Brett]

Yeah, me too. This is terrible. What's he saying? Abela Danger. You can say the words. No, I don't even know them. They're so pornographic. I don't even know. She's disgusting. She should apologize publicly for being alive. And she did. She said she was sorry for being at the game and wished she could just be a regular student.

[Brady]

But because last night.

[Brett]

Huh? Or the night before, she's not Brady. Her life makes it so she cannot be a regular student. She can't go on TV without the world starting to go. Oh, I bet you half of the. The. The guys watching looked over at their girlfriends and wives on the couch like. Oh, like they got caught doing so going. Yeah, I don't really know her. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This is.

[Brett]

Okay. It's like she's. It's not my mistress. It's just I beat off to that.

[John Holmberg]

A lot better questions. Why is she going to school looking like that? What, are you wasting your time for it?

[Brett]

You make a good point. Look, I don't think school is that important to anybody anyway, especially her looking like that. Well, everybody I know went to school for one thing and are now doing, like, real estate or something, which is fine, but they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This said John, she does have to apologize. You have no idea how many married guys like me had to pretend they had no idea who she was. And they just kept putting her up there. That was the cameraman and the director, one of the dudes. Like, that's a Bella Danger. Yeah, she.

[John Holmberg]

No reason to go to school.

[Brady]

Excellent job.

[John Holmberg]

And she wasting your time.

[Brett]

Yeah. Her school is behind her, if you know what I mean. Like, that is her education that is going to pay for her life and get it done. Now she's 30. Only got a few years left before you know people are going to tire of watching her do the things she's doing. Got to give it to a Bella Danger. She mixes up the hair. Blonde, brunette. She comes at you with all sorts of curveballs. It's good stuff.

[John Holmberg]

No fastback.

[Brett]

Nothing about her is a fastback.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's wasting her time.

[Brett]

Yeah. And now she's going to Miami for like, political science. Hopefully she's going there for film school. She wants to direct.

[Brady]

Just build her clientele up.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, that's all she needs to.

[Brett]

Do right there at the game. And dudes. Yeah, every dude. And it's become this big thing. But there I was last night feeling exactly like it when K. Ray throws my name out. And I actually text a little friend group of with K. Ray in it. And I'm like, did you guys hear that? He admits he knows me. I felt like that, you know that side piece that. Don't worry about it, baby. It's all right. I got you. I just want you to acknowledge I exist. I got you. Am I important to you at all or is it all about our fun? Then he threw my name out there. And like, he admits it. K. Ray just admitted that we're friends on tv. Lee even said a good friend. And he watches almost all the Suns game. First time caller long. He didn't say, you know, my job. Because then that would steer people. Like, if one person lives.

[Brady]

I really put so much out there.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. I like K. Ray and I want to know his. What his friends are. And then he's listening to me talk about a Bella Danger. Kevin Ray's a pervert. And then everything goes sideways for him. I always. Because I've been a Suns fan pretty much my whole life. Think about Al McCoy having a friend like me. Somewhere along the lines Al McCoy. I dry humped Kevin at the Rah Rah room as a joke the other day when he bent over the side. We were joking around. It's like, oh. And he got really nervous because we're all just kind of dicking around. He's very fun. And I kind of grabbed him by the Hips and did this thing. And, you know, he was telling a story. So I had a. He was a prop. And then you realize, oh, Kevin just. And he's in his suit. He looks like a million bucks. And I dress like I'm 12. So it was very funny. So. But it was nice. It was a nice moment. But I am the Abella Danger. So for everybody watching the sun speak, the Sixers last night realize that somehow or another my filthy name got involved in that, you know? But then it was even better.

[Brady]

They won't ever show you on tv. They'll mention your name.

[Brett]

Oh, God, no. Well, if they showed me, they'd never say, you know what I did.

[John Holmberg]

It's Jewish Heritage Night.

[Brett]

Here is John. Just show me. And I'm like, what? I'm just waving. I'm not. But I'm okay. Shalom. But I'm not. I'm not. This is. I'm appropriating. It's. My nose is appropriating. It's not me. I have no faith in the. I'm not. Anyway, see at the softball game this Saturday. Anyway. Yeah. So Kevin. I want to thank Kevin Ray for that, but I always think of Al McCoy. I can't say you need. You're a pervert. Shazam. And Al was such a sweet man. The only couple times I met him. You could just sense the tenderness. He never was in a rah rah room setting with someone like me. Tell the time that you were that cat. Oh, yeah. All right, I will. It's a great story. Shazam. This guy will stick anything. And then he can't admit he knows him. And then Al was just the sweetest guy ever. That's Kevin. Kevin's a real pro, but he's a man.

[Brady]

I'll did for the year. Did the. For years. Did the post game show out right to the Boom Boom Room.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Hit the. They didn't have a rah rah room back there. He just went down to McDowell in 16th. Boom boom room just got alive. Mother McCoy's in. Shazam.

[Brady]

Got his table. Yeah, this mother.

[Brett]

What's your name? I'm Seneca. What's your name? I'm Al McCoy and I'm going downtown. Yeah, he. Yeah, I think Kevin does. Kevin's every bit of the fun guy. And it's his fault. He does the testosterone replacement thing, too. He's been. He and Frank Thomas have been yelling at me to. That my dick doesn't work for the last 14 years. I think he's been on there forever. I See Frank Thomas. Hey, it's Frank Thomas and that guy. And then Frank Thomas and Doug Flutie. Tell Kevin Ray. She'll like it too. It's like Irish Spring, only for your dick. It's not my fault. He's trying to get everybody hard and he's mad at me. He's. He's the Abella Danger. I should be ashamed of Kevin. He's. He's got baseball legend Frank Thomas in the gym talking about dicks with him. I mean, that's more perverted than anything we do, but it was. It was kind of neat. But, yeah, that. A Bella Danger thing made me laugh because so many people got in fights. There she is. Oh, this is our friend David Vasquez meeting a Bella Danger. And she's in, like, a workout thong.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brett]

He looks scared.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, wait a minute. I think I might have met her.

[Brett]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Hang on. I got. Let me go through my pictures.

[Brett]

Hang on. You have an Abella Danger photo in your phone? Yeah, I think so.

[John Holmberg]

I think. If I'm not mistaken, I think she was at the Dream palace at Ron Jeremy. You're not. Dream Palace. Castle Boutique. And I had to go there and do an appearance. Hang on. Let me find it.

[Brett]

You were there.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't realize.

[Brett]

Was this the. The year that Ron Jeremy. We couldn't find Ron Jeremy for a.

[John Holmberg]

Couple of days before Ron Jeremy, like, before he really wigged out. I guess it should.

[Brett]

Yeah. Because he was supposed to come on the show. Gotta rephrase that. Supposed to be on the show, and he didn't show up. And we called this publicist.

[Brady]

For sure he was dead.

[Brett]

Well, we didn't know. We called this publicist and they're like, he's not there. No, we sent him, like, well, he's not here. And then they couldn't get him in his room. And like, a day went by and they called us the next day. Can you have him tomorrow? I'm like, you just found him. It's 18 hours later. And he didn't show up that day either. We had two days around Jeremy just wandering around. I wonder if that was the same time.

[John Holmberg]

It could have been. I. I'll get a date here so I can see.

[Brett]

But that was. No, that. That was ages ago. That was. It was a long time ago. Yeah, but she's 30. This had to be.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like the same outfit. Let me see if I can find it.

[Brett]

That you and David Vasquez handled her. She looks great in the picture.

[Brady]

He saw that outfit there.

[Brett]

Yeah, I think I got a picture.

[Brady]

With it.

[Brett]

How is it? That's Vasquez. What year that is? Because he looks like he's 13 or 14. I don't think you're supposed to be hugging on porn stars then. Hey, I think I have that picture, too. And that's exactly what happened during the NCAA championship game the other night. Guys are like, hey, I recognize her.

[Brady]

Seems to be a disruption up there in the corner of the stadium. I don't know what's going on.

[Brett]

Brett didn't recognize her on the screen for the Miami game, but when. Yeah, when she's in a song hugging on one of our listeners, he's like, wait a minute. Now I recognize her. Anyway, you don't have to apologize for being who you are. Oh, I'm not Bella. Come on. It's pretty awesome. I could do the thing with the. Like. They could say Squidward was in the crowd, and they put it on me for a little while. My big ass nose would show. Did you find it? No. I'm so curious now. If you've been. I know I'll find it holding out on us.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's typical iPhone. You got like, 3,000 pictures and nobody ever files them. And, like.

[Brett]

And then if you don't know the year.

[Brady]

Right.

[Brett]

You're just scrolling. Well, when you find your picture, is it you holding her like that, too? Did she do that post with everyone?

[Brady]

Doesn't Apple know porn stars? When you.

[Brett]

I mean, this guy says it was.

[Brady]

Organize it.

[Brett]

It's 2017.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's one up there on Deer Valley or whatever.

[Brett]

Dimitri Botone says. I met her on 2017. He broke his picture out, too. He's got his photo. Yeah, I think it's. God damn it, where's my picture? Go to your 2017 and just scroll around in 2017. All right, I need. Well, just get on it, man. That had to be a KUPD event. It was. This guy's got a Boba Fett shirt on, and he's hugging a Bella Danger. Oh, and he's in a tiger.

[John Holmberg]

Is that her in the. On the end?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. That's absolutely it. Brett, there you are with Bella Danger. Ron Jeremy. Is it her on the end? Absolutely. Who else is in there? And that's our girl Kesha.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Keisha. And then who else was with me? I don't even remember.

[Brett]

Ron Jeremy. You nerf beard, Drew. Yeah, some other.

[John Holmberg]

Some other porn star.

[Brett]

Bella Dangers on the end, throwing her ass out. You were there. You know her.

[John Holmberg]

When I saw the ass, I'm like, wait a minute.

[Brett]

I do. Wait a minute. If only ESPN would have shot a different angle. Brett's like, hey, there's a Bella Danger. Well, there you go. Hey, I think I met her. Based on her butt crack. That is an impressive recognition skill. You know, they have face. They have software to recognize faces. You screw.

[John Holmberg]

You got it.

[Brett]

You will recognize a person by their ass.

[Brady]

Amazing.

[Brett]

That is outstanding. Hey, I think I've been in a picture with her. Like, her eyes are up here, you son of a bitch. Anyway, she apologized, so for all you teetotalers and pearl clutchers, Abella said she's sorry. She exists, essentially, and she's a. She went to a game. She can't like football out loud and get caught on the crowd. She's a pretty lady.

[John Holmberg]

Apology not accepted.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't want to hear it. I don't understand why that's a thing, but evidently there was a. It's controversial. ESPN put out a thing that said that they were like. We didn't know we'd done. She wasn't performing porn. She's watching the game like everybody else.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I wish she was, but.

[Brett]

I hate college football. I just like the championship or, you know, the playoffs are good, so. Wouldn't mind a little aside there. Just a shame Brent Musburger wasn't there. You are looking live. Whoa. I beat off to that. I have a picture of that in my phone. And he spent the whole first quarter. I'll find it. I'll find it. You are looking live.

[Brady]

You would have been all over Mendoza's aunt.

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Look at that family.

[Brett]

Who was the girlfriend that he got in trouble for in Alabama?

[Brady]

Was. Was it mackerel or.

[Brett]

I don't remember. I remember who it was. It was. But he.

[Brady]

He's the quarterback. Yeah, for Alabama.

[Brett]

Boy, I tell you, that enrollment at that school just went through the roof. He was way too into the girlfriend of the quarterback.

[John Holmberg]

Vasquez says the other broad was Angela White.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either.

[Brett]

I wouldn't recognize.

[John Holmberg]

I'll look her up, though.

[Brett]

Look her up from behind Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah.

[Brett]

Jamie says, man, Brett gets cooler and cooler every day. It's true. I don't know who you are. Turn around, Angela. Oh, it's a fastback. I don't remember your name. Fastbacks don't get the recognition software. He's like a Terminator. He's got that eye. If you've got a fastback, it just says eliminate.

[John Holmberg]

There she is.

[Brett]

That's what's her name Angela White?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. Standing next to a Bella Danger. That ass can't do it. She's all cans.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this is nothing.

[Brady]

Here.

[John Holmberg]

Right here. That's why I didn't recognize her.

[Brett]

I don't know who that is. Eliminate. That's a Bella Danger. She starred in over 317 adult films. Got her whole bio right there. He's the Terminator of ass.

[Brady]

Bubble butt.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know her. Fast pack.

[John Holmberg]

Must destroy.

[Brett]

Must destroy. The world is filled with fast packs and I'm here to get rid of all of them. Fast Pack. Terminator. What is wrong with you? What did happen when you were a child? Did someone hit you in the ass with a shovel? You're a flat back deer. Your thighs become your back. You're not human. You must be destroyed. Eliminate. Anyway, gotta have a little bubble. Can't just have a little hole in the bottom of your spine that's like a bucket. Anyway, that's a different story altogether. If you are a porn star and you've got front row seats, you've earned it. I'm with Brett. Stop going to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, quit wasting your time at school.

[Brett]

Take all that porn money and give it to the University of Miami. And the football players are already doing that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

This is ashel recognition. It's. It's the ASHL recognition system of Brett Vesli. Do you have trouble remembering people's faces? Me too. Hi, I'm Brett Vestley.

[Brady]

Grass Eye.

[Brett]

I can't tell one face from the next. Asian, black, Mexican, they all look alike to me. But turn them around and suddenly I'm a phone book. I got names flying out of me like nobody's business. Hi, Brad. It's been so long. Who the hell is this? Braun, that's Kevin's wife. Nobody knows your name. Turn around. Hey, look, it's Theresa, everybody. Kevin's wife. What a skill you have.

[Brady]

Sorry, I didn't recognize you.

[Brett]

What a skill you have. Yeah, there's recogn. There are ass recognition things. I have recognized people by their ass before. Walk by, I'm like, oh, I know that. I know who that is. It's good stuff. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? In honor of Brett's new skill. That's impressive. You call us up 585-9800 and give us a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 Kup. Wake up Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena. When he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Thank you. Thomas James Band. Interesting email from our friend Alex. Says, I've been doing a lot of work around town. I've been doing some training around the Blade. I love that we have a place called the Blade, 27th Avenue. That's where the. The tip of the knife meets the sharp edge of prostitutes. And it is off limits to an average human being. Says notice one thing about all the hookers down there. So they're tall and they're super athletic. Don't you think the Mercury should be scouting down here? I guarantee, if you taught these girls just basic skills and how to work the paint, they would be dominant. Wouldn't be high scoring, but who cares? You go 40 and 4 with 135 scores. Those would be maulers like the Bad Boys and Pistons. And Rodman nowhere near as talented, but still. I'd watch that if you picked up a couple of the. Because I've seen a couple of that. That one, I don't know if it's a man, but I'm pretty sure I call her Dennis Rodman. She's like 6, 9, climbing up and down buses and stuff. But I don't think the girls would want to. That's a tough group. If they're athletic at all. And you can get them just do some sprints and pay them a little bit. I can keep their side hustle going on the street during their. I know, but you don't have to take it away from them. You can do this. Just don't get caught during, you know, from May until October, you're gonna play some WNBA basketball. Then you get yourself a badass team, and you kind of whisper it every once in a while. Well, she's from the University of Blade. She shoot. That's not a bad idea. Used to be you'd find, you know, football. You'd go out there and see some dude who's country strong picking up hay bales and just chucking them in the bag. And like, man, that kid's strong. We could train him. Why not walk the streets and see somebody with the. You know, she's 6 5. She's been walking the whole time. She's in great shape. I like it. You should be a scout for the wnba. And I would. I'd buy tickets to that. You know, our whole team is former prostitutes, Right? And then a couple of shooters from college.

[John Holmberg]

They'd be badasses if they're from the Blade, too.

[Brett]

So I'd watch. That one's the elbows Flying. You want to see one of those girls get a little uppity on the court and have one of your blade hookers come off the bench and get in her face? That's going to quiet her down quick. Angel Reese is going to be very upset that somebody possibly with loads of hep C is about to bleed on. She'd be a little bit quieter. I'm not a professional scout for women's basketball, but I think Alex is onto something here. Brett, the story's for you.

[Brady]

All right.

[Brett]

I do believe this should be a new category that we have called this bitch here Shame.

[John Holmberg]

Shane.

[Brett]

This bitch here Shame to get away with this one. How much is in vitro fertilization? I've heard rumors that it can cost up to like $70,000 for family that can't have babies. Yeah, it's. It's crazy. Have a kid. Yes.

[Brady]

Oh, please.

[John Holmberg]

It was under a grand.

[Brett]

Me snipped. Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Money well spent.

[Brett]

And then. Oh, high five. No, these people are spending in the 30, 40 and $50,000 range and doing.

[Brady]

It a couple of times. Yeah.

[Brett]

And to have. And it's just their desire to have a kid. I don't want to take that from anybody, but my God, all that thing's going to do is drain another 80 or 90 grand out of you before college anyway. So. A Florida woman is suing an Orlando area fertility clinic. I'm going to say it again. This bitch here. Wait till you hear this. She was in her ivf. She said that there's been a mix up. The lawsuit filed against the fertility center in Orlando and Dr. Milton McNichol. On January 9th, a 41 year old woman or 43 year old partner identified in the suit only as Jane and John Doe say they were trying to start a family and began working with the Longwood, Florida based clinic to cryogenically store three viable embryos. Created us. I know, that's pretty funny. Created using their own genetic material. In March of 2025, they implanted one of the embryos with a woman's uterus into the woman's uterus. Nine months later, December 11, one month and 10 days ago, they had a bouncing, beautiful, healthy baby girl. So much joy, happiness abounds. From a couple of people in their 40s, A, that they made it happen. B, it cost them 100 grand. And see, you know, her ovaries at being over 40, the baby didn't come out all goofed up sideways with 40 fingers. The men and women, her partner were so pleased. But they did show a little concern that the baby was dark skinned. This bitch here suing the doctor baby who appears to be Asian American, but they're saying it's of like India is part of Asia. The couple's attorney. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is not a virus. Viewers, you are with a man named Lamar. Tells the genetic testing later confirmed that the newborn has no relation to either parent. This bitch here managed to get her DNA scrubbed. We all know what happened here. Dudes humping it double time at work, taking all that hard earned money because his wife's got baby fever. And he spends 50 grand to go to this clinic because his sperms were working. She's broken. They load her up. They, you know, it's a process. That IVF is no fun. They get it all done. She gets pregnant, whole time she's taken pipe from somebody down the road in Florida. Probably played for the University of Miami. That's my guess. Or maybe ucf, which is even like it. Worse, he's kind of dumb. She blames the doctor cuz she manufactured a.

[John Holmberg]

This.

[Brett]

Yeah, this here, man. Lawyers are like, neither of them are the parents. Well, that's not possible. The balls in this broad. That's what I said. It's heartbreaking. It's undis. In vitro fertilization errors described in this lawsuit. It's unresolvable. Our clients continue to fall more deeply in love with a beautiful little girl who's definitely not theirs. This bitch here, she. You just quiet down and say, I don't know what happened there. They must have given me the wrong sperms.

[John Holmberg]

So the kid is what? Then obviously these are two white people, right? So does the kid.

[Brett]

And keep in mind, Brett, you're in Florida, so probably living some sort of weird situation where they're. Yeah, well, no, they said it's. It's. It's probably Asian. It's probably like Malaysia or Cambodia or it's just darker Asian. Okay, India is possible. All right, Indonesia. So, yeah, here's the base price. Base IVF cycle is nine to 15 grand. And that's just monitoring the medications. Jump up to 7,000, then you got to do genetic tests. That's six. Anesthesia is 650. 650. That's pretty reasonable. That's all anesthesia cost. That's not right. Embryo freezing and storage can be 2 to 3,000 bucks interest. Cytoplasmic sperm injection is $2,000. And it's multiple times. You can get fees for where you do it, which thing says usually donor eggs. 20 to 60,000 for a woman. Dudes, are only 1000 to $1500 for their sperms. A woman's eggs are up to 60 grand. Is that based on. Looks like the uglier.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta be 20,000.

[Brett]

Yeah, you're a 20,000.

[John Holmberg]

You're that 2am Pig.

[Brett]

You know that's a twenty thousand dollar egg. You wander in there looking good, it's like that's a sixty thousand dollar egg.

[Brady]

Or is it based upon you know like rarity, population, like percentage of how.

[Brett]

Many of those people there are?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like they're endangered humans.

[Brady]

Yeah. Almost like animals.

[Brett]

So you're saying that's eugenics then. We're trying to make more Japanese people so they're more expensive. Or that'd be cheaper. In that case it would be cheaper.

[Brady]

Like the sweet, sweet egg would be.

[Brett]

A sweet egg is because of how good we look. We would. My sperms would be too grand at least to impregnate a Swede broad because they want to keep it pure. Like what Brady's saying. You're talking about eugenics. Like if you're saying we need more Japanese people so we start manufacturing them. Brady's onto some Hitler thing. Go on, please finish.

[Brady]

Price based on population.

[Brett]

Yeah. If there's too many of them it would be. It's easy to get them pregnant and.

[Brady]

Get you a twenty thousand dollar egg.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's volume.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If you're saying the Chinese are trying to in IVF and I. Are you out of your minds? It's $3 for a Chinese egg. But yeah, because there's billions of them. That's why the Indians got this lady, this bitch here. But she's trying to say none of my DNA is there. It lived in you. You didn't DNA test that before. Another fertility parent could have, should have given birth to the client's biological child. In the absence of any racial difference. They say people know what's happened here. The lawyers did, they didn't. The clinics basically their response. Their lawyer basically said this bitch here. That's what their response was. It's the medical director of the Longwood Fertility center said I want to lead a compassionate, patient focused team dedicated to providing the most advanced fertility treatments. We don't have a comment about this at this time. Basically saying we're going to look into her history, check her, check her phone because if There's a, a 2am text that says you up, then she's doing it. Or hello my friend. Yeah. If there's a checker answering machine, it's like hey, I'M calling from the. The car dealership. We left your car. You can pick that up anytime after 12, 12:30 in the morning if you'd like. Honey, it seems as though you're getting a phone call from the car dealership at 1 in the morning. Yeah. Is your wife around at all? I would like to speak. Don't r answer her phone for that doesn't make it. You going to fix that? Fix what, sir?

[Brady]

You.

[Brett]

You don't hear that? What you talking about, man? Huh? I'll go get my wife. Either way, this bitch here, she's taking it to the. I got to give her credit. She took it all the way down and going, it's not either of us. She got impregnated by some super sperms of another race her husband spent. And they did three different treatments, which means they're into this at least 60 grand. Don't you just get your money back if you love the kid already?

[Brady]

Yeah, I mean, mix up at the.

[Brett]

Lab, you get your money back. Maybe another 40 grand for a little trouble. And isn't that racist?

[Brady]

So you don't want the kid.

[Brett]

Yeah, but isn't it racist to want extra money because it's not ours? Like, yeah, but make it yours. You weren't doing anything without science. Science made a goof. They goofed up a little bit. Sorry about that. Did you get a baby or not? You know, if I went down to the. The car dealership and I got a. A blue car and it showed up and it was the wrong color blue, and they're like, we'll give you all the money back for it and then some for your trouble, they'd be like done.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I can understand being upset if you're the couple and if in fact the reason why you're doing the in vitros because you wanted a baby.

[Brett]

Your own DNA.

[Brady]

Baby, your own DNA.

[Brett]

That's pretty.

[Brady]

That's huge.

[Brett]

Arrogant. Well, no, but your DNA didn't work like your God tried to stop you from having babies.

[Brady]

You're starting your family tree.

[Brett]

You can still do it with a brown one. Racist.

[John Holmberg]

She got Chevy chased because they. She wound up with the family trucks here at the end of the deal.

[Brett]

It's a better deal. It's a nicer car than the ice blue. This here's the family truckster.

[Brady]

But you're right. I mean, I'm say the money back if that's.

[Brett]

Yeah. If it turns out that neither of them are.

[Brady]

Because you could just, you know, if you're doing that, then just adopt or What? Like you said, oh, you can start a field tree. Well, you could do well, then adopt a baby.

[Brett]

Well, wouldn't it then make sense that they. That some other Indian families got this little white baby from Florida, and they're like, let's swap it out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can't be that attached.

[Brett]

I agree. And they're not, or they wouldn't have gone to their lawyers and going, we don't want this one. What's the money back policy on this?

[John Holmberg]

I think the husband just needs to just call Cordell, and Cordell, take that money and just get out.

[Brett]

They knew.

[Brady]

You know what? We'll give you a free one again.

[Brett]

Just give him the white one and say, this is yours.

[Brady]

Get a freebie.

[Brett]

Here's a free white one. It's a bogo.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Here, put it next to the brown. We're sorry.

[Brady]

Give you the money back.

[Brett]

Isn't that racist, though? It's like, we're sorry. Put it next to the. The burned.

[Brady]

No, I'm. I meant also, you know, you keep the one that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Black or white, and then we'll give you some more treatments to try again.

[Brett]

Just bring in a bag of lay's potato chips to the lab and go, all right, look in this bag. What do you see? Well, there's one burned one. Exactly. It stands out, doesn't it? I didn't want that in my bag of chips. But we gave you a white one. Would you be all right with the. The irregular one we gave you? Just switch it out like your eggs might have. Somebody else got yours? There's an Indian. The guide. The husband was on the story basically said I was curious because she was a little darker, but when I asked her if she wanted her baba, it went, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't our baby.

[John Holmberg]

It's because his wife's taking pipe.

[Brett]

Yeah. And it was a funny thing. They bought it a little one of those little. You know, you get kids, those little plastic phones and stuff, and it picked it up. Thank you for calling this government. I don't think that's ours. I don't know what you're talking about. Weren't you hanging out with that IT guy from work for a while? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That is not my daddy. It got on its hands and knees and started bow to a cow. I was just checking to see if that baby was mine. I don't know if it is, but.

[Brady]

The geek squad was at our house quite often.

[Brett]

Anyway. Yeah, we're back again to fix Your Hewlett Packard? Yes, yes, yes. It has nothing to do with IVF or impregnating your wife with my super Indian sperm. I'm just here to supervise. Does that just follow you around or.

[John Holmberg]

For phones ringing at 2 in the morning and a ringtone.

[Brett]

Is this just a rock in the building?

[Brady]

Oh, that's.

[Brett]

Oh, wait a minute. What the hell was that? Huh? The IT guys must have found a problem with the computer. It's 2:30 in the morning. Yeah, quiet down. I'm trying to sleep. What's he doing here? Why are our goddamn alarms always doing that when he's here? I'll catch you guys later. See, it stops when he leaves. Yeah, but that one to me is hilarious because she's trying to get away with. My guess is if this story even gets legs on it later, you'll find out she was up to something and her eggs actually did work and his sperms were what was broken.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he's hoping for.

[Brett]

It would be tough though. You get that thing, you go, you got to go back to the. You know, I don't even like taking clothes back to the store because you go back and just look. You see this? It's a beautiful baby. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. All right, look at me. Look at him. What's wrong with this picture? I'd like to take it back or get a severe discount for having, you know, one of these. This one says one of my best friends and his wife have adopted four children. I celebrated that by going to get a vasectomy. Yeah, that's. If you, if you have friends with four kids, they are an advertisement for Dr. Lynn Sunrise Urology. Go get that clip because there's. Go to one nine year old girl's birthday party and if you don't have kids, that'll stop it because I have been to 19 year old girl's birthday party in my life. They tried to combo up and have adult parent party. Plus it was the. There was less screaming in Hiroshima than there was that day. There was. Why did you go, oh, my buddy Mark's, you know, family thing. And I'm like, yeah, it's not so bad. There's some friends from school I hadn't seen in a while and I was gonna have, we were gonna do adults if I thought the girls were. I didn't know they were going to do that. But they're like smoke alarms. They're attached to each other. If one screams, the other ones start going off. And no, none of the. I was the only ones like you guys not. It was the same exact thing.

[Brady]

Like when one turkey gobble.

[Brett]

Yeah, it was the same as this. Like when this one goes off, another one in the house goes off. One of the girls went off and it was like they were connected and they all started screaming and none of the parents heard it. Like, you guys not hear that? Oh, yeah, that's just the girls. I'm like, I know what it is. Are we putting a stop to it? Why? Oh, it's horrible. That's why. It's blood curdling. Homeburg's morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. Oh, this guy says Asian baby. Look at it this way. You got a built in scholarship. That is true. I think I'd rather have an Asian girl than a. Than like Brad or something. Like it's some little dumb white kid who's gonna say bra and low key constantly. I'm hungry. Low key. I don't know what that means. Why do you keep calling me that? Low key hungry man? I want to go out and do something. Low key. What is. Am I an avenger? Who's Loki? Loki. He doesn't get it, bro. And then instead you got a little Asian girl over there solving all the math problems. I'll take that. That's a much better deal anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Or making Air Jordans.

[Brett]

Oh, well, I don't want to put her in a sweatshop right away, Brett, but yeah, you get a wrong baby, count your stars. When it comes in a back an Asian daughter. You got two options there. She's either going to be the greatest mathematician of all time or a Bella Danger's replacement. This guy says that husband needs to get all the money. His wife wrecked that pristine, slightly expired body for a baby that's not even his when they could have just adopted one and shut down the Longwood Clinic. Kids ruin people, physically and mentally. They deserve to be compensated. I totally agree. But you go and try to. You try to manufacture a baby, you just get what you get. That's what I say. If you're wiener and her belly can't make it happen. And you go to the lab and they're like, we'll see what we can do. And it comes back, baby. You're like, this is the best we could do? Well, it's Asian. Hey, come on. Beggar's chooser situation here. Did you even use our eggs? Your eggs are wrecked. Like Shane Orlando trying to fix a totaled car. It's like, look, it didn't work now it does. It doesn't look right, but you got your car back. We're going to give you a little bit of a discount.

[Brady]

Yeah, but it's a Prius.

[Brett]

Yeah, right. Yeah, but we had to. We had to do some real work here. Do you want the baby or not? Yes, Mr. Orlando. Thank you. I don't understand why everybody said you get a baby and you went and bought a baby and they said we had to use some Asian ingredients to make this work. You'd be like, all right. Either my eggs and all your wife's eggs were gross.

[John Holmberg]

That's everything's made in China nowadays.

[Brett]

Anyway. Put a little sticker on it. Made in Indonesia. Have fun with it. It's terrible. Matthew says, what a gash. Trying to blame the doctor. This here. I know all of us guys have the same thing. Like wait a minute. Spent 60 grand. And it neither of you were involved.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This here Nicholas says, hey, it's an Indian baby.

[Brady]

You got a 50.

[Brett]

50 chance.

[John Holmberg]

That's a doctor or an IT guy.

[Brett]

You know you're good. You're not gonna have trouble getting this kid. Is not gonna cost you as much as a white.

[Brady]

Be champion.

[Brett]

A Florida white versus an unexpected Indian. Gimme curry all day long.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you were playing a Toledo when you did this.

[Brett]

Well, think about it. Think of his son.

[Brady]

True.

[Brett]

You think he wouldn't have traded him in for a. An Indian engineer? He's got Zoolander at the house still trying to sew jeans together. Meanwhile, all of his Indian classmates are already going. Well, I've been promoted to vice president of computer operations. I remember Alex. What is he doing now? Low key. Kind of a hit toward Loki. Don't do that anymore. Fashion designer. Busboy.

[Brady]

14 years old, already has his college degree.

[Brett]

Yeah. You know what you've never heard in your life ever an adult Indian that you meet. You know, they always got that white Mormon shirt, sleeve pockets full of pens and like. So what do you do for a living? I am a bus boy. Never happened. Never occurred. I work at the call center. That is one of my five jobs. Busboy and fashion designer. Yeah, Toledo. Trade Alex in in a heartbeat for that. You know what? You want a kid, I'll make the swap for you. Toledo's boy for that new little Indian down in Florida. This bitch here trying to sue the doctors.

[Brady]

This bitch here.

[Brett]

I like our new segment. We should have Bruce Cooper come down. I've been talking to Bruce here.

[Brady]

This here.

[Brett]

It's time for another episode of this.

[Brady]

Here with Bruce Cooper.

[Brett]

Anyway, so be careful. Just be careful. That's scandalous. And that dude's calling her out. You know, he's basically like, all right, we'll go to a lawyer.

[Brady]

Oh, fine.

[Brett]

She's gonna run it until she runs out of gas. But eventually there's gonna be a DNA test done by that Longwood place and said is to yours half of it at least. Well, then that doesn't explain the Asian part. Well, no, no, no, it does explain the Asian part. I am a daddy, and I am not sweet down there in Florida getting it done. Usha vance got pregnant. J.D. vance stopped talking for a few seconds and got his wife pregnant. Our vice president's wife has her fourth baby in her belly. And she needs to be an inspiration. I know politically people don't. Half the country absolutely hates Trump Vance all the way around. They're blinded by it. But Usha Vance has three kids and has. She has kept it together like he got it. She's got a fourth one on the way. Gotta hand it to her. So whatever she's doing on the side there to keep it together is impressive. Cause Usha looks good. She looks like. She doesn't look like a mother of three, that is for sure. And J.D. vance just keeps talking and talking and talking. And every once in a while, he takes like a 10 minute break, knocks her up, and then goes right back out there to yell at Laura England. But congratulations. Remember, that used to be a thing in this country. Like, if the president or vice president had good news, like with their families, everybody in the country is like, that's great. And now, like, there's memes and stuff of, like, him conspiracies making a Nazi. And like, he's got like. It's gonna be Damien. Like, they're. Nobody's like, oh, that's nice. Good for them. Nobody can be human anymore. Oh, well, all right. Well, I don't agree with this politics, but good for them. It's a nice family. Good for them. Nope. Immediately they're putting Swastikas on the baby. 666 on its head. They got little rottweilers around the door. I mean, the memes are funny, but you know, the toe. The Bible says it's going to be the blood of a political figure. It's like a big. Oh, God. They automatically think this is it. Find out it's in vitro fertilization. Maybe it's one of. Maybe it's advanced baby. Should I read this? All right, I can't read. It's very funny, though. Says, I don't want to read this. It's too long, Billy.

[John Holmberg]

It's too long.

[Brett]

It's not that bad. It's just too long. It's very funny. It's not racist or anything. It's just long.

[John Holmberg]

No, not at all.

[Brett]

Yeah. Said dude, keep that little Asian girl and teach that. To ride a 15 foot unicycle and kick balls onto her head. That is a money machine. That's true. The red panda made a whole. She's a millionaire kicking bowls on her head from a unicycle. See white people doing that. Said John, you. The problem with the Asian daughter is white people don't. He taught. I taught him this because I. If you watch a little Asian porn, you realize that a crying infant and an orgasm. Orgasming Asian woman sound exactly the same. And it's creepy. They both sound.

[John Holmberg]

Like. Oh.

[Brett]

So, yeah, you don't want an Asian daughter in her bedroom. Is she okay? And walk in, find out. She's not.

[Brady]

She's crying.

[Brett]

She's not crying. Did Rico Blaze move to Florida after he got kicked out of the police force? It could be Blaze junior. Oh, I don't want to do it. Brett. Don't do it. You're gonna do it anyway. Is Rico still here? Did he move?

[Brady]

Don't know.

[Brett]

All right. Was it Sir Nuts a lot. What was it?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

That just makes this whole segment. Keep it on the beat. Let me just throw that in there. Yeah, baby. How you doing? Rico Blaze back up in this. I'm so goddamn potent. I walk by a fertility clinic and the eggs get pregnant.

[Brady]

Congratulations on the kid.

[Brett]

I don't know what you're talking about, player. Wasn't me. I was in Florida for a little bit. It was like a tsunami of frothy ejaculate just walking around. Evidently I was within a mile of the fertility clinic when I last got one of them fat bitches in my bed. Knocked up the whole fertility clinic. Congratulations, Florida, you've been blazed. So not to do a little vacationing down in Miami. You know that rumor breath? They say you can't get a girl pregnant in the butt? Yeah. Yes, you can. Oh, damn. Anyone got a 9 volt in the ladder? All right, what kind of car did.

[John Holmberg]

Enterprise rent a car hook you up with?

[Brett]

Well, they originally started me off with a Navigator and I said, that'll be nice for hauling fat white bitches, but I want to cruise the A1A. So I got myself a nice little scat pack topless. Speaking of topless, every time I walk by Fat bitch's shirts fall off. The blaze is in town. Police are coming and so are you, baby. All right. Am I still on the force? I got kicked off the force.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so.

[Brett]

I'm not allowed to be. Unlike the Abella danger of the Phoenix police force. Except for I'm not the one with the fat ass. But I do like those for sure. You want to come out on The Rico cruise? February 2nd to the 9th. Carnival has been nice enough to give us one of their boats. Fat bitches get half off and all you can eat buffet. I'm in. We'll see you on the cruise, brother. Don't bring your wife if you. Why do you even need an in vitro fertilization when you've got Enrico fertilization? I'll take care of it, man. Than all the IVF around here. $50,000. Give me half of that and I'll breathe on it. You'll have twins and one of them butt babies. Next stop, Greenland. Head on up there. Donald Trump's new program. Scare them. Greenland. I never had me an Inuit, but I'm into it. Put a little Rico spray on that. What's that? Baby, you're 43. Eggs all dried up. Don't worry. I'm like Frank's hot sauce. It'll taste just fine once we put that on everything. I'm getting the hell out of here. This is your fault. Rico Blaze. I like.

[John Holmberg]

He travels with his own music too.

[Brett]

Well, of course he does. Just happens anyway. That's ridiculous. We're idiots. But this here suing a doctor. I gotta hand it to her. Taking it to this length. Well, that's fine. We'll sue them. That's right, we will. Are you fine? When I call a lawyer right now. Go ahead. You sure about that?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

I might actually believe her.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently Rico is still around. This guy actually follows him on Instagram. And he bangs his white broad pretty regularly, man.

[Brett]

He doesn't. The girl, he's. She doesn't fit through the door. It's the only option he's got. She's stuck in that room. That's crazy. Is he still Sir Nuts a lot?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I'm gonna ask.

[Brett]

Sir Nuts a lot.

[Brady]

Full time.

[Brett]

You know, my favorite thing about Rico Blaze isn't that we caught him. It's that before we caught him, he was out there catching you. Like there's people out there who got nabbed by Rico Blaze doing stuff or pulled over or whatever his job was with the cops. He was. I don't know. What he did.

[Brady]

He had a side gig.

[Brett]

Yeah. And then we found out later, you know, that he was doing. What he was doing was, you know, on company time. That was the problem. Pretty hilarious at 7:20. Brett, what do you got on the big board of Musical Treats?

[John Holmberg]

Wake up Song time. And a lot of it just goes back to what we were talking about earlier with About a danger. And then. My ass. My ass skills, apparently.

[Brett]

By the way, J.D. vance's fourth child with Usha made his couch have a public comment going. This bitch here. Yeah, J.D. loved couches, so.

[John Holmberg]

Spinal Tack, Bib bottoms on there. Sir Mix A Lot. Baby's Got Back, Juvenile. Back that ass Up. ZZ Top Tush, Eminem, Shake that ass. Destiny's Child, Bootylicious.

[Brett]

We've never played Destiny's Child on kupd.

[John Holmberg]

Probably not.

[Brett]

Bootylicious it is. Take that, Bob's all your research. Shove it up your research ass.

[John Holmberg]

Does Destiny's Child test for us?

[Brett]

It's gonna. Do you want to pull it up? Hell, yeah. Bootylicious is a good song. I don't care what anybody says. I'm not even much of a Beyonce fan, but I met Destiny's Child before I knew who Destiny's Child was. And gotta had to be 2000. Maybe they rolled him in there. We merged with KKFR Power 92.3. And so Destiny's Child was coming through town, and they had a hit or two, and they were in the building. And that guy I was talking about yesterday, Marv Nyren, the weirdo, the crooked guy, he's walking through there with the three most beautiful women I've ever seen. And I don't think Beyonce's pretty, as pretty now as that was the most. Like, she was 19 at the time and walked through that building, and their.

[John Holmberg]

Picture back in the day arose me.

[Brett]

The other two were pretty. Kelly and the other. They were beautiful. Beyonce, like it was, what kind of creation. Incredible. And then after that, every time I see her, I'm like, I don't get it. But I did that day. But, yeah, they wandered through that building. And I don't even know why they were there, because Casey Power was down the street. But they walked through our building, which is now going to be the Atari Hotel. But it's weird.

[Brady]

There might have been some stuff going on at the building.

[Brett]

I think we had a better conference room. And they were gonna do, like, an interview and a little thing with them because they were just popping.

[John Holmberg]

Who else was in that building at the time? So was you guys us was a camel coyote.

[Brett]

Camel Lizone. And then five FMs. Yeah. And then across the street. They had power, so no reason for.

[John Holmberg]

Them to be in your building.

[Brett]

In KFYI maybe with KFYI there. They didn't allow blacks in the building or something. Just racist. Not anymore, though. That dude that does their morning show is awesome. Yeah. Beyonce came to us. Maybe they just would have lost their minds over at kkfr. That might be it. That there might have been a crowd out in front of the power building. And so they took them to us.

[Brady]

Could be.

[Brett]

Because there were these. It was. And I mean, it was Nancy Odell. I know that sounds strange. Who used to be on Access Hollywood and Beyonce are the two most beautiful creatures I've ever seen in my life in person. And Nancy went on. And again, I never saw it again. That day I saw them in person. And that was 20 plus years ago. And I told. That was that. Yeah, that was. That was in a movie premiere. Harrison Ford movie premiere. I saw. And I was there and she was next to me. And I never seen anything like. Was porcelain human. And then as she aged. Night that she aged out of it. I think I just. It was just a perfect day. It was. She was outrageous. And then Beyonce's the other one. And I. You know, we've seen some beautiful people, but there's like that moment where even women are like, wow, that's different. And it wasn't. You know what it was. Neither of them were manufactured. That was natural. Like, Nancy Odell at that time was just that. Like, how do you get through life? Like, why do you work?

[Brady]

She wasn't as big as the name, but I thought for me it was that one year it was Heather who was the St. Paulie girl. I forget her last name.

[Brett]

Oh, I know you're talking about. Yeah, she came in with us that one time. Yeah. She was like, yeah. But again, having been in that room too, recognizing that it doesn't make the other ones ugly. This is a different level.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Of beautiful. It's. It's Grand Canyon kind of stuff. It's like, that's just not a pretty person. That's. That's a piece of art. Piece of art. I spelled ass wrong. One of my cop friends just said Rico was a patrol guy. Used to patrol for fat bitches. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't break up crime. All right. I like it. This is for Rico. This is for a Bella Danger. Hell yeah, we're gonna do this. All right. This beautiful Beyonce that wandered through the house there. It's bootylicious. Oh, right. Little Fleetwood Mac in there. This is Rock Base. Go get him. Ladies of Destiny's Child on 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you, pd? If you'd have told me that five, six years ago, Limp Bizkit would be cool and fun, maybe about 10 years ago, I'd be like, nobody likes Fred Durst. He'll never. They're back and they're like they're making you smile. Fred's kind of neat. He's doing interviews on with Bill Maher on club Random, and it was interesting. He wasn't. I don't know what happened there. That isn't. That is. This is an underrated comeback by Limp Bizkit. Big time. And it was. You know what it came from? Self deprecation and recognition that he's just. That the world kind of looked at him and went, eh, the guy in the red hat sucks. And we have that here with the Cardinals. Same with the Bidwells. If we could treat him the same way we treated Fred Durst, the Bidwells might have a comeback. If you weren't paying attention the other morning, my boogers for Bidwell program. So far I haven't heard anything. But when you see him boo, do not shake his hand. Do not say thank you. He's done nothing for you as a fan of the Cardinals? If you hate the Cardinals, go up and go, hey, like Toledo. If you ever saw Bidwell, it would be even better to go. Mr. Bidwell, I just wanted to thank you so much. Ah, big, big fan of the Seahawks. You've made it easy for us twice a year. Thanks for all the training. Yeah, thanks for everything you've done for us. Oh, it's great. Found him. Is that Rico Blaze? He's on his site. Is this gonna be cussy? I don't know. Oh, he's just got. Baby got back playing and a big fat white lady in his bed. She's all painted up. Let's do it. Is she naked? It's body paint. I think so. Leotards.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, it's leotards.

[Brett]

A big blonde woman. Erica's about to tear that up. Man. Is that. Show that again real quick. Whoa. I'll turn the sound back up. Oh, yeah, that is Rico's place. He looks happy since he's not a cop anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, there we go.

[Brett]

There he is, sir. Nuts. A lot. All right, well, he's got, like.

[John Holmberg]

There's what you expect.

[Brett]

Oh, Jesus, Rico. That girl's got diabetes. Wow. Her toes are green. He likes fat white women.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that smile.

[Brett]

Mad at me. Get mad at me all you want about stereotypes. He is not helping. There's these. Bed with another one. She's taking up the whole bed. I like Rico. I want to be friends. Oh, my Lord, look. Rico's about 245, I'd guess. Yeah, yeah. That woman is eclipsing him in the mirror. All you see is his little tiny head in hand and shoulders. That's it. Well, barely. How many leopards had to die to make that bikini? Is that what that is? Giraffes? I don't know what that. I don't know what that is. I don't want to know. Yikes. All right, stop it. Turn it off, man. He's got a type.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Don't. Yep. All right, that's enough. Turn Rico Blaze's page off if you're in. What is the. It's just, I am Rico Blaze.

[Brady]

Ex. Ex.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like he's in Denver now.

[Brett]

Oh, he is in Denver. He moved to Denver. Porn laws are a little.

[John Holmberg]

Probably destroyed the Valley already, so.

[Brett]

Yeah, he's got to have a new market. There's a. What is that, Miss Incredible? No, there's a lady dressed as Miss Incredible climbing up the wall to get on Rico's shoulders. He found a. He found a hive of fat white women in Colorado when he moved to it. White be buzzing all over Boulder. I'm moving. I'm like, mork, I'm gonna live in Colorado. All right, it's time now for the Brady Report.

[John Holmberg]

There's a skinny one, huh?

[Brett]

No, turn it off. I did. I did. It's the Bray Report. It's brought to my [e-mail] you want to get some shade in your life? All you have to do is call allprochade.com and they'll take a look at your situation. Your back patio, a window that's got too much sun, and they will get it together and make it look fantastic, like it's supposed to be there. Drove by a house yesterday that had those sales on there, and they had done it themselves, clearly, because it was just not good. Pulling away from this. It was just not good. It just was in the wrong spot. And they're just, you know, basically having sheets for curtains. When you do it wrong, it looks wrong. These guys make sure it Gets done right and they do it perfect. Adds property value and gives you some outdoor living space that you probably didn't have but wanted and didn't know you wanted until you had it. So call them up right there. Go to their website. All prochade.com Brady Report.

[Brady]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brett]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Hugging Day. And One liners day.

[Brett]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

Most of them, you know, movie quotes and stuff.

[Brett]

Oh, I thought you meant like they.

[Brady]

Gave an example of jokes.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's what I thought it was.

[Brady]

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

[Brett]

That's just quotes. Those aren't one liners, those are quotes.

[Brady]

I always thought it was a joke too, but that's how they're playing.

[Brett]

Yeah, they're wrong. By the way, the animal owners across the valley are revolting on text. I know. I find them revolting as well. I've seen their photos.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

No, no. The smoke detector. It drives the dogs crazy. Well, it's not my fault. It's Rico's. Rico's fault.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. The peak of Ecuador's Mount Chimborazo is the furthest point on earth from the center of the Earth.

[Brett]

Start again. You said Earth eight times. And one more. It's got too much math. Some word problem.

[Brady]

Chimborizo is the farthest point on earth from the center of the earth.

[Brett]

Okay. And how is it not the tallest mountain then? Because of sea level? Because mountains are based off of sea level. Sure, but don't know. Wouldn't it. Don't know the mass.

[Brady]

Maybe Everest, where it's located could be closer to the center on the base.

[Brett]

But it's a ball to the base.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Thank you, Brad. I was thinking.

[Brady]

Could have some modulation.

[Brett]

You didn't look into that? You think the ball has undulation? You think we're wavy?

[Brady]

I don't think it's perfectly round.

[Brett]

Okay, I can go with you on that. But enough so to make a mountain that I've never heard of. Acne, but it's enough.

[John Holmberg]

So it's got acne.

[Brett]

The Earth, he says. Oh, but it's enough undulation to make the tallest mountain in the world. Not as close to. Because to a mountain I've never heard of.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You accept information. Accepts information relatively simply.

[Brady]

That's the fun fact.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's a fun fact. There's no like, detail to the fact. So it's a fun suggestion. And then you look into why.

[Brady]

That would be the only thing that I could think of making sense.

[Brett]

That is it the earth is wobbly.

[Brady]

That the place where it can go higher, Mount Everest can be higher. But really where it's located in the actual base of measuring how high the.

[Brett]

Mountain is, which is sea level. I'm confused still by what you.

[Brady]

Well, I don't know if Mount Everest.

[Brett]

Can be all mountains that we know are from sea level. Elevation from sea level. So we're talking about.

[Brady]

I don't know about that.

[Brett]

That's a fact that. Why else would we measure it from below sea level in some places and not your elevation here? Like Camelback mountain is what, 2,000ft from sea level. They don't just do it off of 2,000ft. It's 2,000 from sea level.

[Brady]

But we're not at sea level.

[Brett]

No, I know.

[Brady]

We're in Arizona.

[Brett]

Yes, we are.

[Brady]

So they're adding. So Kennel Mountain's only a thousand feet.

[Brett]

It's 18, 1900ft above sea level.

[Brady]

And we're at a thousand.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady]

So we're a thousand above sea level. So then came back to another 1800ft.

[Brett]

Another 18. No, it's 800ft above whatever the elevation is. I threw a number out. I don't know for sure. Whatever the elevation of Camelback Mountain is, is it's tip.

[Brady]

Because I always thought it was on top of that.

[Brett]

I mean like on top of what?

[Brady]

If we're on the street right now, Camelback Mountain is a thousand feet high or.

[Brett]

But we're not level.

[Brady]

But that would be the height of the mountain.

[Brett]

No, it's from sea level. They do elevation from sea level. Like that's what they say. Denver is 5200. It's mile high. Mile high from sea level. Like Flagstaff is 6,000ft and we're at a thousand. So Flagstaff is 5,000ft higher than us. Well, it's just, it just based on where they. Where sea level zero.

[Brady]

Yeah, but then the mountains in Flagstaff are basing from sea level. So it wouldn't be, it would be a 3,000 foot mountain if it. So it'd be.

[Brett]

No, you're basing thousand feet from the ground in Flagstaff. Yes. No, if it's, if it's 6,000 foot mountain at 6,000ft from sea level, who knows how high. He's saying from like street level. I get, I get what he's saying. It is kind of the 3,000 foot mountain then to kind of go basic.

[Brady]

If you're going from sea level.

[Brett]

Right. Which everything has to be. Heights of mountains are typically measured above sea level. Mount Everest is the highest mountain earth at 29, 029ft from sea level, not from the lowest point of the mountain.

[Brady]

Gotcha. I never knew that.

[Brett]

Yeah. All elevation.

[Brady]

I figured whatever the. The.

[Brett]

No. Because it would screw up everything. Yeah, yeah. Because. Yeah. You have to have a baseline. And sea levels are. Baseline. Like Palm Springs is below sea level in a lot of spots. It like, actually gets below, but doesn't mean you're going to get flooded because.

[Brady]

So then maybe that could be Mount Chimborazo.

[Brett]

That it's below sea level. Yeah, possibly that would be closer to the core. I don't know where that place is in Ecuador. I don't know where that place is.

[Brady]

South America.

[Brett]

I don't know where that place is.

[Brady]

Sea level. Below sea level.

[Brett]

We should rate it. What we should do is go over there and just take it. I'm sure if we're closer to the crust, ending the. Into the core of Earth, pretty sure it would be an easy raid. We just get some Navy SEALs to pop up.

[Brady]

The alarm.

[Brett]

You didn't know that about elevation? Everything has to have a baseline. So everything is from there. I don't know where.

[Brady]

They're already above sea level here.

[Brett]

Well, everybody is. Otherwise we'd be underwater. I don't know where they actually measure where Phoenix is, but, like, I don't know. They always say Phoenix's elevation is about this, but it's a valley.

[Brady]

And then you go up north, it keeps going.

[Brett]

Well, yeah.

[Brady]

Even in Scottsdale's higher than what we are.

[Brett]

Yes. Because it's a valley. Higher. It's a valley. Oh, you can see it on McDowell Mountain right now. That's higher than where we are. But I don't know where the official measurement of Phoenix's elevation is. Like what they consider. Oh, like the. The measurement dot.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Probably just like right downtown.

[Brady]

Neil Armstrong and the crew of Apollo 11 had to fill out custom forms when they landed back on Earth.

[Brett]

Carson's smart. He says height and elevation are two different measurements. Did you say it was the highest elevation or height?

[Brady]

It's the furthest point on Earth from the center of the Earth.

[Brett]

That's interesting. Like to get the details on that.

[Brady]

Get on the phone with Neil DeGrasse.

[Brett]

I'd like you two to have a conversation. That would be fun. Base to summit is the terms that Brady's looking.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

He's looking for height.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Based a summit.

[Brady]

New survey on music. Americans. 84% of Americans say listening to music is an important part of their life. 55% listen to least an Hour of music a day, and only 2% never listen to music.

[Brett]

2% just won't have music in their lives. Wow. I don't know how you do it. All these people are emailing us. Surveyors use the zero point. They measure it from Sky Harbor. That's what somebody just said here. Another one says, what you're talking about is called prominence. No, I'm not talking about that. Trust me. Well, you know my nose. I know my nose. Prominence. I understand. I don't like that word. Let's just get back to what people care about.

[Brady]

So will somebody call Johnny?

[Brett]

Get the goddamn facts.

[Brady]

The most popular choices in 2026 are streaming and listening to the radio.

[Brett]

Hubbard, put that out.

[Brady]

Streaming is 73%. 48% listen to music on the radio on a regular basis. 24% download MP3s, 24% still use CDs.

[Brett]

What?

[Brady]

11% listen to records. 4% use cassettes.

[Brett]

What did they give the survey at Friendship Village in Mesa? Nobody's listening to records exclusively. You can't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, those hipsters do.

[Brett]

Yeah, but not my guess. Maybe not in your car or at work. Like, not on your phone, not in your car, not anywhere. That's bananas. And cassettes, those are people in jail.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brady]

Really?

[Brett]

That is true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When I used to work overnights, I learned that they give them cassette players.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can have. Because they can't have CDs, because they can make them into shivs and everything else. From what I was told, they do.

[Brett]

That with a cassette. So they'd put, like.

[John Holmberg]

They put, like, new music out on cassettes, even, like. Yeah.

[Brett]

In jail.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You could buy the new Tool album on. On cassette.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

No kidding. All right.

[John Holmberg]

I learned that doing overnight.

[Brett]

Some recent jailbirds. Because it's been five years, maybe they've changed it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's true. Yeah. At that time.

[Brett]

How about that?

[Brady]

The favorite type of music. Classic rock. Ranked first, 19% of the vote, then country at 11%. Pop, 9%. Hip hop, 8, metal, 7%. R B, 7 alternative, 6%.

[John Holmberg]

Country was way up there.

[Brett]

Yeah. Country's too high. Yeah. Country's the worst.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Somebody told me the other day she said country's good on a boat. Like, only if you jump in with rocks in your pockets. If you're in the bottom of the. If you're. If. Look, country's good. If it's a search boat and you're already in the bottom of the water.

[John Holmberg]

Country's the dolly steamboat of music.

[Brett]

Oh, it's the worst. Homebird's morning sickness. It's disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Updated. Holmberg's morning sickness. I don't get it.

[Brady]

The most promiscuous countries in the world.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

In 2026, they base it on factors. Mean age, virginity was lost, average number of sexual partners std rate per 100,000 people. Percent of people who consider premarital sex between adults morally acceptable, legality of prostitution and legality of premarital sex.

[Brett]

I'm gonna go to one of Toledo's favorite haunts. One of those. Cambodia. Indonesia. That area over there.

[Brady]

Let's see the closest one there. It's coming in at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Thailand.

[Brett]

Thailand's outbreak.

[Brady]

Number nine.

[Brett]

Are we number one?

[Brady]

We are. 12.

[Brett]

Okay. What?

[Brady]

Correct. Okay, 14.

[Brett]

So it might be one of those African nations we don't know much about. I'll go Uganda.

[Brady]

South Africa comes in at number 10.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Anything above that? No.

[John Holmberg]

Other.

[Brett]

No African nations. We didn't even do this study over there because we don't know what the villages are like. So it's a European nation, then? Probably.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

Well, kind of.

[Brett]

Well, it is, or it is a.

[Brady]

Country on its own. It's South.

[Brett]

Australia.

[Brady]

Australia, number one.

[Brett]

That's not a European nation.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, it's controlled by this.

[Brett]

It's his own continent.

[Brady]

I know. Close. That's what I say.

[Brett]

Europe is a continent. You were right. He needs his kidney back. Not anymore. You're a little older. They've fixed it, but it's its own thing.

[Brady]

Number two.

[Brett]

Man, that's a tough one.

[Brady]

You're not going to get it. Brazil, then Greece.

[Brett]

Yeah, I was going to say South Africa or South America.

[Brady]

New Zealand, Germany and Italy.

[Brett]

All right. I forgot what the study was about. Just promiscuous. That wander the streets of Rio de Janeiro. Yeah, Brazil was. I didn't. I don't know any of those stations. Guy says I'm holding on. Damn it. Dude's got a cassette tape in his radio right now. In his car. That's like a time machine, the DeLorean head machine. He's got a cassette player in his car, and he sent us a picture of it. And it's got a.

[Brady]

It's the double.

[Brett]

It's got the CD player. Got a CD up top. That is. No, he's going with the cassette in it. That used to be an expensive piece of material, and that's got to be a 1994. Any guesses on that cassette? I'm guessing Van Halen by the way, that's enough. That's not. That's not aftermarket, that.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Brett]

No, that's factory radio. That's a 93 or 94 vehicle, maybe 98. What do you think? Is that a Dodge for it?

[John Holmberg]

That says Toyota gm.

[Brady]

Oh, it says Toyota right there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, does it?

[Brady]

Yeah. Hello. The cassette.

[Brett]

No, it does. Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Brett]

Oh, never mind. There you go. We're all wrong. Not close. Whoever sent that last part of the.

[Brady]

Survey, Durex did a survey and found that the Austrian men have the most sexual partners.

[Brett]

Say it again.

[Brady]

Says Garnold Durex found that Austrian men had the highest number of sex partners of males around the world.

[Brett]

Did they understand?

[Brady]

29.3 partners on average.

[Brett]

Well, I'm bringing up the curve quite a lot there.

[Brady]

Nuts to butts.

[Brett]

Good. Nuts to butts with just about everybody. And then the 29% of my directs get ruined.

[Brady]

43 year old Texas woman got arrested after she was doing drugs on a video call with an inmate. Jessica Wolf was smoking meth on the call. Cops showed up at her home on Friday with a warrant. They arrested her for possession of controlled substance with intent to deliver and possession of marijuana. They also found a gun.

[Brett]

That's still a thing in Texas. Can't have the weed. Must be because I know a couple times in was op live Hayes in Arkansas, it's still not legal. Abbott here, he gets real upset with people like smell a little marijuana in your car.

[Brady]

It's not clear who she was video chatting with, but maybe we'll get some face to face time now. Said she's gonna go in. The judge set the bond at $650,000.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady]

43 year old Jessica Wolf. You want to guess Jessica Wolf.

[Brett]

Jessica Wolf is a fat 43, you say? Yep, just disgustingly fat. And her hair looks greasy and wet.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, white. White is Cajun hillbilly. Very Caucasian.

[John Holmberg]

One of Rico Blaze's victims.

[Brett]

Yeah, and she is. Oh, she's lost weight. She looks. She looks a little like Jeff. You know, it's a trans.

[Brady]

The hair was pretty good.

[Brett]

Yeah, the hair, is that Dale with long hair? She does look like Dale. That's lady Dale. You know what would make me kill myself if anybody says, hey, that girl you're seeing looks a lot like Dale Hellestray. Dale's daughters are very pretty. Yeah, that's. Don't know how that happened.

[John Holmberg]

That's the mom side right there.

[Brett]

Thank the mom her eggs did extra work fighting off Dale DNA because when.

[John Holmberg]

He sent pictures over, I Was like totally different. Yeah, there's no way.

[Brett]

His Christmas card looks like they're just, you know, they built a giant and it lives with them.

[Brady]

Next purpose, From Charlottesville, Virginia. 45 year old Tony Scott being held at the regional jail there after getting upset at workers at Bojangles. They messed up his order and he threatened to blow up the place.

[Brett]

What's Bojangles? It's like a. It's like a Denny or a Denny's. Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Brady]

45 year old Tony Scott. Want to describe him?

[Brett]

Tony Scott is a skinny black guy.

[John Holmberg]

Rico Blaze.

[Brett]

Yeah, any black guy. I'm on fire today.

[Brady]

Nice finalist couple in England. The guy's wife stopped. He kept yelling at her to stop entering in stupid contests. She paid 30 bucks to get into a big charity raffle. Won 6 million. A 6 or a 6 million dollar house on a lake? She also won over 300,000 in cash. They've been married for 38 years.

[Brett]

She took all of it?

[Brady]

Nope, they stayed together. But she told the reporter this. The reporter. This is precisely why I never listened to my husband.

[John Holmberg]

And now he's Steadman.

[Brett]

Yeah, now he's got to live with that. And she's never going to let him hear the end of it. Can't just be happy. They have to be right and mean about it.

[Brady]

I got two quick braided videos.

[Brett]

All right.

[Brady]

First one is titled man vs Fan Construction or work hazard.

[Brett]

Okay. Versus ceiling fan. Not like no big fans. Okay. All right, Hang on. Oh, it's not the right one.

[John Holmberg]

Bojangles is apparently is more like a raising canes or Popeyes.

[Brett]

Oh, it is. Okay. That sounds good. I'm hungry.

[Brady]

Chicken.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. We. I think we have one. Do we opening soon?

[Brett]

If anybody would know. Maybe it's opening soon. Freddie knows the potential of a Bojangles is near. There's been a disturbance in the chicken force. You hear about that one going up on Camel back there where the Armadillo grill used to be?

[John Holmberg]

Where's the Bojangles?

[Brett]

Oh, his eyes just lit up. It's some sort of Houston, Texas chicken thing. I don't know what it's called, but I was surprised you weren't there. All right. Man V fan. It's a surveillance video from the corner of a factory. There's the guy, there's the fan. It's kind of far away. We make it bigger. Oh, geez. What is that? I didn't even see what happened.

[Brady]

There it is.

[Brett]

Okay, so it's like a floor fan and dude's walking By. He just gets sucked right in and blown out the other side. Oh, it's immediate. Why is that even on? Why does that thing exist? Look at the other one down there. Oh, I know, but it's just an airplane propeller just in the middle of a showroom. Oh my God. He just gets sucked right into it. Blows him up.

[Brady]

Lighten it up with a bulldog doing the single bulldog luge.

[Brett]

This. This is a. This is a. AI. I've been watching this bulldog. Yeah, he's been AI, but it's really neat still. But he goes down. He just slides himself down sideways. What's the name of this thing? They throw this bulldog just. But it's been. He. There's another. Well, that might be the. That's.

[Brady]

That looks real.

[Brett]

I know, but there's. There's one where he's jumping off of like tons of mountains. Yeah, that might be a different one, but no, I don't know. Cuz I've seen.

[Brady]

Cuz that's a waste of time.

[Brett]

If it's a similar. A similar bulldog and they go down like the side of Happy. If that's AI, Isn't his name like AI something though? Primo bulldog. Okay, that's a different one. The one. Yeah, they're doing that because that other fake bulldog is getting famous. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

Before we get into that, we have to. Brady is correct.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

The first Bojangles opening up in Gilbert in spring of 26 on the Northeast corner of Val Vista and Mercy.

[Brett]

It's right by you then I don't even know where that is.

[John Holmberg]

By the hospital, by the two of us.

[Brett]

That's what everybody says when they're eating there. Oh Lord. Mercy, Bojangles, Mercy. They just changed the name of the streets. Where are you Welen? Thanks for calling Bojangles. Where are you located? We're on the corner of Gilbert Mercy. Yeah, all right, fine. Gilbert and Mercy.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe we should have Black Lady Brady.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, let's get Black Lady Brady out there. Oh Lord. First 20 people come down here, get themselves a L and a pack of nine vote batteries. I don't want supposed to do that. People try to take your food, I guess.

[Brady]

I suppose. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll start with this one here. I don't know if this is AI or not, but.

[Brett]

All right. Guy walking down a. What looks like a kind of a little walkway through underground mall or something. He just kicks a lady in the face. No reason. It's a food delivery driver. Oh man. Is that Larry? I Think that might be Larry McFeely. He's got his Uber Eats backpack. Some lady's just walking next to him. They're alone. And he turns and gives her a high kick right to the schnoz. Boom. Drops her like a bad habit. And he just moves on with his day with crazy eyes.

[Brady]

Feels much better now.

[Brett]

Looks like suns coach Jordan Knott those crazy eyes. All right, another one.

[John Holmberg]

I think this was taken to Maryville.

[Brett]

There's an overhead camera outside of some bodega and some lady walks by. A guy just walks up and clocks a woman. Wow.

[Brady]

Down the street.

[Brett]

And he just keeps walking.

[Brady]

Gonna clock more, baby.

[Brett]

Walked up and just punched a lady in the face. Dropped her like a connected. Dropped her like a one foot putt. Boom. Glasses flew across the. Wow. That is a clean punch. She had no idea that was gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

And this was just entitled Badass Cops.

[Brett]

Oh, Rico, Blazer.

[John Holmberg]

Watch the cars.

[Brett]

Cop cars flying through an open parking lot to stop a car that's going a billion miles an hour. Oh, he does a fly full spinning stop. And then the cop, one of them gets out and he's on the hood of the car and he jumps off. TJ Hooker show through the. What's the.

[Brady]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Wow. That was awesome. He jumped through the windshield of the bad guy's car and got in for a movie. It might be a movie.

[John Holmberg]

Even if it is AI or whatever. That's cool.

[Brett]

It looks like it's up on the big screen too, while it's going on. That it might be one of those training things possibly that they're goofing around and they're. That was awesome.

[John Holmberg]

And out of all the videos we've seen, this is. I don't think we've seen this yet.

[Brett]

All right, let's take a look. Play by play begins with vagina on the top part of. It's like a zoom call between a vagina upside down sack and. What? The dude's balls are on top of his. Wait a minute.

[Brady]

Wait.

[Brett]

What? He's got balls on top of his vagina and no penis. And there's a little like that. Some sort of urethra there. Is that the same person on top of. Hold on a second.

[John Holmberg]

I. I don't know.

[Brett]

I'll just regroup here. It just looks like a. I don't know what I'm looking at here. I'm trying to explain it. I'm trying to help you guys a little. It looks like it's. It's A set of balls where the top of a vagina should be. And he's. It's like a giant.

[Brady]

It'll explain it [e-mail] it's like if.

[Brett]

You had a massive lady button in scrotum skin and then there's a urethra under it. This is just a. I don't get it. I'd sue the IVF people for this, too. What's the top thing?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brett]

That's what I was saying. I can't even. I don't even know. That's not human. That's where the simulation is completely shattered. How does that guy.

[Brady]

Or girl.

[Brett]

What is that? How does that thing date? I'd show everybody, by the way, if I had one of those.

[Brady]

That's why he's doing it.

[Brett]

I would never have pants ever if I had one of those. Be like, you guys have every day. You got it. Want to see the thing?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

Everybody like, yeah, let me see it. Show them the thing, John. I had that one, dude.

[Brady]

You know how easy you get racked?

[Brett]

Well, that guy that I told you about 25 years ago, whose nickname was Sale, and I made the mistake of asking, why do they call you Sale? And he just started laughing. And he pulled his pants down. He lifted his scrotum up, put his fist in the back of it. It looked like a boat sale. And I'm like, that is something I would show everyone every day. I have a disturbing amount of scrotum skin. But I can't do the Sale. I can pull it up there pretty good, but anyway, work on it. I have actually did work on it for a minute, but it's not comfortable. This says, did Brady lose a kidney? And compare Bojangles to Denny's. Tighten it up, sheath.

[Brady]

Yeah, I was slacking. I knew you're right.

[Brett]

There's going to be one on Gilbert. Oh, mercy me, oh, Lord almighty Boulevard. We got a Bojangles coming. He said he knew. I mean, I didn't credit right in neighborhood basically by Campo Verde High school. Winston said, I'm glad that got straightened out because I purposely did not text you to correct Bojangles or I'd have taken my Winston. We would. We wouldn't have made fun of that. But it would have been hilarious had you jumped on that Brady's Gotcha. Don't worry. Oh, Lord Jesus and Gilbert Road. That's where I can't not see Bojangles. There you go, everybody. Those are the stories in your Brady Report for January 21, 2026, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Getting emails from people and I just saw two, and I want to clear it up. Now. You guys know something about me that you shouldn't, and it's not my doing, but I have to straighten this out because the news is out there now, and I don't know if I can. I might contact lawyers. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but this has been leaked out and I been trying to keep it under wraps. Sophie Cunningham went on a podcast yesterday and said she has herpes. So now you guys know. I do too. I mean, it's just not. I mean, it's not. Now everybody knows.

[John Holmberg]

And so does Dua Lipa.

[Brett]

Yeah, but. Oh my God, I'm sp. Jesus. Yeah, cuz it's real to me, damn it. So here's the thing. Sophie Cunningham, the, like, by far prettiest girl in the wnba. And.

[John Holmberg]

Is there even a contest?

[Brett]

There's a couple of them in there that you could add in. We. We give them a bad rap. There's a. Don't do it.

[Brady]

No, I'm gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Now I gotta find it.

[Brett]

Sophie's very pretty and she's super sweet, and she did the Sun's broadcast. And I don't know her well by any stretch. I mean, other than when we exchange herpes. But, you know, Kevin Ray and I sat down with them and we've had talks and she's incredibly nice. I like Sophie a lot from the little exchanges I've had with her. She went on a podcast yesterday and said out loud, I've got herpes. And everybody starts goofing on the podcast. Well, the headlines say, Sophie Cunningham stuns and divides fans with herpes admission. And you're like, oh, boy. Then she said, if you. If you listen, don't just read the headline. Sophie had a cold sore, which is herpes.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So are shingles and all sorts of different things. Everybody immediately saw this pretty woman and thought, oh, my God, she's got the genital herpes. Now when you got it in your system, you can spread it. Yeah. I'm telling you, there's a couple.

[John Holmberg]

This is number 20 on this list.

[Brett]

What? That's not accurate. But you can't have. You have to have, you know, in the headline. You can't just say, sophie Cunningham has herpes. That's clickbait. No, they always make that girl the. Cameron wants her Name Hot. She's just not that great. There's a few of them that are ridiculously built up, but Sophie's fun. Yeah, there's some really good ones.

[Brady]

She's got one leg.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, that girl Sophie's still hired the Minnesota Links Girls. Hot Angel Reese is not hotter than Sophie Cunningham. That list is wrong. And you got that one from the Dallas Wings. Like the tampon has wings. The Minnesota. That's the Minnesota Links girl I was thinking about.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yeah, she's not bad.

[Brett]

Miriam. What's her name? Miriam something Badiani. I don't know. But yeah, she's good. Paige Buckers is not hotter than Sophie Cunningham. Although with the herpes headlines, maybe she dropped. She dumps way down.

[John Holmberg]

This chick.

[Brett]

No, she didn't even play. She's French. She not even playing. That place for the Liberty. Elizabeth Kipley for the Aces. There's a couple of good ones in there. You got some good ones. But bottom line is, this is. I would sue if I was. Because all the headlines say Sophie Cunningham has herpes. Nobody associates bad herpes with a cold sore. Almost everybody's gotten a cold sore at one point or another. Big deal. They sell a Breva at Walgreens for that very reason. They're not selling the ones for your genitals over the thing. But. So everybody who's flipping out over Sophie Cunningham having herpes, you can calm down, but don't judge me now that you know I also have it since Sophie announced our problem. It's terrible. Sophie should have consulted with me. But how funny would it be if you did know a guy who'd been bragging to you? Yeah, I was with Sophie Cunningham couple weeks ago. We're. We had a good time. Like, oh, man. Lucky. That's great. Good for you guys. Good dating. I don't know if we're dating. I think we're just physically involved and having loads of sex. And then this comes out. The next day, his phone would ring immediately.

[John Holmberg]

How's the bumps, pal?

[Brett]

How is it down there? Any of them weeping? It's a canker sore. They got a cold sore. Big woof. People get cold sores now and again, and it is a form of herpes, but there's like. So I think. Aren't the chickenpox a form of herpes? All that stuff is. We all kind of have that in our system. It's just. Don't go spreading it around, that's all. And if you've got the herps and there's a lot of you out There with it, you're fine. Just don't go trying to bang. It's like having a period, only it's not as consistent. You got to tell people at any moment now this could happen. Get cool when it flares, and then when you got something brewing, just, you know, keep it under. Have a weekend binging some Netflix. That's all. Nobody needs to know that. But if you got one on your lip, big deal. But he got them all over, and I'm talking about your face. Lip, ladies. I don't want to get crazy. Be smart, Brett. You're gonna like this. Do you have like a. Like a rap bed? Like a no music kind of?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Was there one in your. In your old file in here?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if I have a wrap on, but I'll. I'll get you one.

[Brett]

Give me something real quick. It's only fitting that this happens the right way. I really don't have any urban stuff and just get me anything. Anything will work. Just. No. No lyrics. I just want to read this email I got about earlier, and we were talking about Rico Blaze, and we have the, you know, the sound effect that is, you know, this. That's perfect. Thank God. Email says, holmberg, God damn you. There's literally nothing about you that bothers me. I find your jokes and stereotypes hilarious. And as a black man, you can do chicken, watermelon, fat white bitches, old English, gotta go get smokes. Whatever joke you want, but your cracker ass with that damn chirp sound is gonna be the last of me. I grew up with that goddamn noise in my house. My mother never fixed it. I changed the batteries in my smoke alarm every two months. I will never, ever, ever be in a situation where I'm on the phone or a zoom call where my black ass is talking about that and that thing chirps. So you did it. You found my line. You made me write you a letter complaining about you being a racist, you big nose, liberal juke Huck Stern wannabe. I can't quit. You signed Davis. Thank you, Davis. It's the one that got him. Hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one everyone has.

[Brett]

And I gotta tell you, you get mad at me for this stunting, but I'll be on you right now. The smoke detector deal is real. And you're changing them every two months, which means you're just. They last longer than that. But your people are so worried about it. Isn't that right, Red Robin? Red Robin? Let's. Let's. We have a. We have a live Camera in Red Robin's house right now. See? Yeah, everywhere. I mean, do they not sell 9 volts a Dollar General? I don't understand. In other words, change, you change them accordingly.

[John Holmberg]

But I just waited to say I jumped to the scat pack, went over to the Dollar General, got my 9v.

[Brett]

I don't know why it's a stereotype, but it is. And it's hilarious.

[Brady]

Newly discovered.

[Brett]

Now here's the thing though. White people, you're getting away with this one because you know, it's newly discovered that it's for me that it's universal. I have had a couple of insects incidents where I've been in my African American friend's apartments years ago. And I kept telling him his name was Tony. Like, Tony, you don't hear this? Yeah, man, I gotta fix that. And that's. It just went off, over. And I'm like. And white people just take it down right when it starts chirping, you can't figure it out. We just disconnect them. So a lot of, a lot of white people have wires or like the, the mounting devices on there. But this thing is not a attach. I have one of those in my house. Cuz I couldn't figure this thing out. New batteries.

[John Holmberg]

I'd rather house burn down and listen to that all night long.

[Brett]

I blew in that little sensor. They say there's dust on there, it'll go off. But if that's a black stereotype, that finally got you hilarious. And you owe it to all of your friends, family members to get on that schedule. You're on the every two months. Because there is nothing funnier than. There's that one. It's that Instagram thing going around. This guy's doing a job interview and he's sitting there and he says, really appreciate it. This looks like the resume looks great. So I noticed you didn't attach a picture. Is that a. And he's like, yeah, I think my resume speaks for itself. I think I'm more than qualified to go. All right, well, I guess we'll have a meeting with. We'll be back to you later. It was hilarious. Anyway, so if that's a thing that we did, I, I think that's a safe one. I like it though. Sorry, Davis. I like when they call me the, the Howie Stern wannabe. Gives me an opportunity to introduce you to, to Red Robin. Yum. My friend over here, Brett. And then. And where's Baba Bastard? He's just wandering around looking for his dad. And it, it's in Other words, Sophie Cunningham has herpes. And you know, she probably runs from this out the teammate. Sound. Call me that all day. That guy remembered the exact quote. Reminded me of it. Big nosed liberal.

[John Holmberg]

So you don't even remember.

[Brett]

I. I gotta. What do you call me? Big nose liberal Jew. They call me a cuck.

[John Holmberg]

I thought so.

[Brett]

Was cuck in that?

[John Holmberg]

I thought so. Maybe not.

[Brett]

Let me see if I can find Davis's text email. Big nose liberal. I just threw it away too. I had it in my hand.

[Brady]

I thought it was too.

[Brett]

But did he say cuck, liberal Jew? I don't know. Either way, Howard Stern wannabe. That's exactly right. And you know what? You're not wrong. I am a Howard Stern wannabe. He's got summers off. If I could get an entire season and not go to work, I'd do it now. Look, it's spring. See, in three months. I mean, how great is that? We just got excited over a three day weekend. Imagine a three month weekend. Anyway, says, did you know why smoke detectors use. Detectors use nine volt batteries. Ask an intelligent listener why they use nine volts. I don't know. Is it because they.

[John Holmberg]

I don't ask Davis.

[Brett]

I don't know why that is.

[John Holmberg]

That's Davis. He's got experience with changing them out. So.

[Brett]

He said. He said this is a thing we need to talk about. He says I live in an apartment complex and the black family that lives next to me. Smuggler beeps every single minute of the day. They fixed it once, but it's starting to do it again now. When I walk by him, I don't even say hi, I just say beep.

[Brady]

Foreign.

[Brett]

It's fun. And Kyle just sent me a picture of his mounting device with no, that's the white people thing. Look, we can make fun of black people for having the chirp. White people just take it apart. Our houses are. They might as well be gas covered. We are. Most all of us have taken down one or more of our. Of our smoke detectors because, man, they've made them very technologically annoying.

[Brady]

I just replaced him about two months ago.

[Brett]

Mine has a brain and it's the highest. It's the highest part of the ceiling. It's hardest one to get to. And that thing warns you when another one's got a battery issue. And so you'll go. It'll chirp. And you go to get that one to chirp and fit and you think you're fixing that one, but it's just telling you, hey, the other one's Gonna start going. And then you take that apart and the other ones start going off. I almost killed myself at two in the morning once because I had a smoke detector next to the closet and I got on the little ladder and I took it down. I didn't fix it. I took it down. I took the battery out and the thing was still chirping. It was like how. It was like grandma after you unplug her and she still breathes, but it chirped for a little bit and then it finally went away and I went to stand back up to put it back onto the mounting thing and I hit my head on the top of the closet. Whatever the little. The cutout for the closet is, the door was open in the closet and when I stood back up, I hit the back of my head and I was on that ladder and I just start going. Well, this is it. Because I couldn't. I was going out. I smashed my head on the top of that. What do they call it, like a threshold for the eve. Whatever the top of the, the closet is called.

[John Holmberg]

They always go out at the worst times too.

[Brett]

In the morning. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, me, when I was doing overnights when I was. When I was renting my buddy's house when I got divorced, he had the, the early versions of the nest alarms.

[Brett]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

And they talk.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

At, you know, 9:30 in the morning, which was my time to sleep. All of a sudden here. Smoke detected in the bedroom.

[Brett]

And I'm like, what the.

[John Holmberg]

I grabbed my 12 gauge. I'm like, somebody's in here. And then it's like.

[Brett]

And then I hear it again and.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, mother, I'm in the bedroom.

[Brett]

You imagine if that was the stereotype. They never changed that. Smoke detected in the bedroom. All right, Rico, Blaze alarms. Oh, it's a five alarm fire.

[Brady]

Just replace them all.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Problem is you never have that many 9 volts.

[Brett]

No, take them down. Your house is probably not going to burn down. You'll be fine.

[John Holmberg]

Pay your insurance.

[Brett]

Yeah, pay insurance and don't worry about it. You don't live in a forest. And the odds of you burning your own house down are very minimal. Just, you know, do like most white people do. Do them for the inspection. Have them in a drawer somewhere. There's a drawer. Our apartment downtown, the H and H ranch, Hopkins and I, both of them are taken out and they're in a drawer in the kitchen. Because I went to fix that thing. There was no fixing it. There's two plugs, batteries. I took the batteries I changed the batteries, I plugged it back in, blew on the little sensor, put it back on there. A few seconds later, I'm sitting in there. I was like, ah, that'll do it. God damn it. The other one was going off, so I just took that one down and then put them both back and they both started chirping. I'm like, the place isn't on fire and it's warning me it's just annoying. So I'm getting rid of it. So they're in the drawers and there's wires hanging out of the ceiling. Not fixing it. That's the white move. I gotta hand it to the black people. They just let it go. I don't have. Man get used to it. As I turn the radio, well, they listen to their goddamn music so loud out to get rid of that chirping sound. All rap music should be on the beat of the smoke detector. Should be like 2, 4 time. So every once in a while it's on. Yeah. You do it with that. Oh, it cut out perfect. I posted. I like it anyway. Well, thank you, Davis. Thanks for listening. And I can't quit you either. Yeah, says my wife as a project manager has white employee that had the chirp for over a year on Zoom calls. And they made fun of him because he's white. They just said, take it down. Ah, yeah. I've had a couple of. My friend Tony was the first one, and that was back in the 90s at his apartment. Just. He allowed it. I didn't know it was somewhat universal. But we're not getting away with this one, crackers, because we just take them down. That's the way to do it. There you go, everybody. That. That'll help you out. The ceiling birds have been solved. Just knock it down with a broom. It's a perfect thing. We got Rock Horse coming up a little bit. Get ready for that. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock rock radio station. You thought that was funny? Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Wednesday morning we got Rock Horse coming up a little bit. Before we get to that, though, somebody suggested that all smoke alarms be equipped with this. That way not a soul wouldn't change. Them country music people singing to me to warn me that the house is on fire. I'm jumping out of it. The chirp thing's just annoying. I would absolutely change that. Good idea. Make it like a billy bass. Hillbillies would love it.

[John Holmberg]

I just burned the house down.

[Brett]

Great idea. I would definitely let it burn. But they should have songs we all hate inside of there. I think that's brilliant. Get rid of that chirping noise.

[Brady]

You'd get up and just. You'd be on that ladder changing all.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Wouldn't. You wouldn't let it go for a couple hours. That is getting. You're going to keep your 9 volts nearby. I'm also fascinated with what's going on in Davos. Trump's plane got a little delayed and all these super elite leaders of the world are meeting in Davos and it's, you know, big one for Greenland. And this Greenland things got me intrigued. I am fascinated by the idea because we have not been in a world where we just go take stuff that's been a long time. Like, they just walk up and like, this belongs to us now. Like, that used to be the way man worked, right? We used to just go in and say, either give it to us or else. And a lot of times the or else thing happened. And then borders got redrew and it started, didn't. It would like Greenland a lot of the time. Sometimes not so much. The olden days, they just show up like Vikings. They just showed up. Genghis Khan's dudes. They didn't start with an offer. They just showed up. We did it right here. Sorry, Indians. We just showed up. We didn't make many good offers. We weren't serious about any of our offers. We wandered over and. And the British, they did it to us. They colonized the United States, floated over here and then like, hey, we like it. This is nice. It's gonna be. Well, you're British now. And they just took it. So we haven't seen this. This is. This is not normal. Right. Occasionally far off in Europe, it's been a while. Well, for America, it's been since Hawaii. We just took it. Yeah, right. We've been other things. We've wandered over and taken the British and America. U.S. virgin Islands. The U.S. virgin Islands used to be the Danishes, and we just took them. I went over and offered them some cash, but they were like, they fought back and they're ours. Those are ours now. Through some sort of weird. They got screwed. I think they sold them to us for like $20 million that you think of that. Like, there's houses on there now worth 20 million. Like, we bought the U. S. Virgin Islands from today. So Greenland is owned by Denmark. And they're upset. Trump. Trump gave a speech today and you can hate Donald Trump all you want. Please keep in mind he's funny. He was there today in Davos talking about Greenland, but he's ruled out now that he's ever going to go in there and use force. He's not going to force him out with the military. He's no longer making that threat. But then he said, well, first off, he kept calling it a big, beautiful piece of ice. That's one nice piece of ice. You know what I'm doing, right? Very Johnny Dangerously. Very piece of ice. See what I'm doing? It's Johnny Dangerously, and it's. And then he said, we're seeking immediate negotiations to once again discuss the acquisition of Greenland. I don't want to use force. I won't use force. Not going to use force. And you can say yes, and we'll be very appreciative. Or say no and we'll remember. I was still kind of leaving him on that idea that maybe I'm not going to kill everyone in Greenland, but a lot of you, a lot of you will remember. And then he said something about. He brought up World War II. Did you realize, though, you owe us. He's doing this to the leaders of the world. These are quotes. Without us, you'd all be speaking German or a little Japanese. That's an exact quote. And you know, Denmark, they got overrun by the Germans in World War II. Six hours the Germans had him. I mean, we had to intervene at a great cost and expense, and all we're asking for is that piece of ice. Then he said that you can't defend it. A lease. He's a former landlord. It's what he built his world on. You need ownership to defend something. You can't defend at least. Who's going to defend at least? Who the hell wants to defend at least? I'm not doing that. But he is, evidently. He kept saying Iceland, too. And because of Iceland, the stock price is dry.

[Brady]

He's.

[Brett]

He. You know, we were on Biden pretty good for some goofs. This. He's. He's running a little hot right now. And then he played that passive aggressive card. We give so much, we get so little in return. And if you guys want, you can speak German. We're here for you. But I would like Greenland. A piece of ice. I love a little piece of ice up north, but a little cold one. Eskimo girls. No one does it. The Beach Boys were right, those Eskimo girls. Oh, I say, I think that's one of the lines. I don't remember But I'm pretty sure.

[John Holmberg]

The sneaky little bastards.

[Brett]

Sneaky, tiny little Baptist Johnny Dangerous brought it back again all the way around. One an underrated movie. And I'll tell you right now, if we get Greenland, we'll put Johnny Dangerously in every theater for all the Greenland and Inuit little Eskimo people. It's either that or Holmberg's plan. And the next thing you know, you're all hearing that in Greenland all the time. Anyway, I found it hysterical that he reminded them that without us 80 years ago, you'd be speaking clankety, clankety or maybe some Japanese. And then he said the best part of his speech. I want you up to go to do great. I want uk. I want them to be great. They were sitting on one of the world's biggest energy sources in the world, and they don't even know it. And there's windmills all over Europe and windmills. They're losers. He's Don Quixote. Now, if you could all see what I see, that he's hilarious. Whether you like him or not. God, your life would be better. You wouldn't be all jazzed up about everything you read. Or, you know, the worst part is you start to joke with people and you'll say something like, I'm gonna steal Greenland and kill all the little Greenlandians I see. I hate every Greenlander from Greenland A to Greenland Z. And then somebody will go, well, if we don't take Greenland to the Russians, I'm like, oh, well, I was kidding. I was kidding. Gonna kill all the Greenlandians. They should shape up over there. So I can't do. Oh, everybody's lost their sense of humor. It's not fun anymore. And if we did attack Greenland, I know the humanitarian toll would be bad, but sort of hilarious for no reason at all. These people up there that are just flipping fish in a boat like chilly willy, and then we show up and move. We just get them out of there. Greenland has me fascinated because, boy, you couldn't pick on a weaker target. We're gonna go in and we're gonna get a daycare center. We're gonna take them by force. Brett and I are coming in today to Kindercare Tots village. And we're just gonna walk in, we're gonna move in. It's ours now. We want to live here. We got to protect ourselves from the other kinder places. Woody Allen, I understand if you'd was it wasn't for us, Woody Allen would be here all the time. Jeffrey Epstein, how bummed out you'd be.

[Brady]

If you're in the military and you're like you. You guys are. If we get it, you guys are heading there. That's where you're going to be staged.

[Brett]

You're going to be in greenland. Well, how about that? Go kill them. If they don't listen, shoot them.

[Brady]

But they're little. They.

[Brett]

All they have is little, like fishing spears. Don't care. Shoot all the little greenlandian people. They're troll people.

[John Holmberg]

I was waiting for him to announce the hellcats are coming.

[Brett]

Yeah, we're going to drive them up there. Oh, yeah, we'll start a dodge dealership. That'll be the first sign. Once you see that moving, you know they're coming. And those little Danish, they don't like it. I watched austin powers. I saw goldfinger. Member? Gold. Member? He was from denmark. That weird little sh. When they talk. I don't like it. Anyway, it's very funny to remind people that if it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking Japanese in greenland. I like we've allowed that. Like the japanese. Like nobody's ever fought for greenland before. Just give it to people.

[Brady]

But forget what news publication. But they basically said he's the funniest.

[Brett]

President we've had, no question.

[Brady]

And they're. And they based it upon speeches. He goes in most of his speeches, there are at least, oh, seven to ten jokes or something like that.

[Brett]

He's hilarious. I don't know if he knows it.

[John Holmberg]

But I think he does in a lot of. In a lot of ways. He does.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Some of it just spits out, but I think some of it is just definitely planned.

[Brett]

Does he sit in a room with a guy before his speech and I'm gonna tell him that they'd have been speaking japanese without it and somebody's gonna be like, I wouldn't do that. No, I'm gonna do it. That's a good line.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's got writers with him too.

[Brett]

It took six hours for you guys to get conquered.

[Brady]

You're weak.

[Brett]

He's got to, right? What a piece of ice. And you know, he stops and looks around. Nicknames and great fargonice we have up there. I love that fucking ice. Johnny dangerously. I live my life off of it. Anyway, so he just gave that speech and I was reading about it and I started to giggle and I'm like, this is what I like about my life, is that I'm not gonna be mad about this. I know I'm gonna get emails. You can't. You can't possibly be. Stop it. I don't. Here's the thing about me. And you can be mad about it all you want. I don't care. I don't care if Greenland goes down or not. I don't care. Do I like that it's happening?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

But what am I gonna do? I've gone George Carlin on the whole thing. I'm like, I'm not gonna rile myself up over this stuff anymore. I find it hysterical. If we attack Greenland. Like you were talking to your sister and brother in law and they're. They're fired up.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

That doesn't seem fun to me.

[Brady]

It's embarrassing for the country.

[Brett]

Yeah, it is a little bit. But yeah, when wasn't it? That's the worst part about me not picking a side that people hate. I was embarrassed by Biden and by Trump. I've never not been embarrassed. Yeah, I think that comes from basically told him.

[Brady]

I go, really?

[Brett]

I mean, my face every morning I look in the mirror, I'm like, well, this is what I got. So I got to deal with embarrassment every day. I'm good at it. So if somebody else is embarrassed, like, well, I can live with that. I know how to get around an embarrassment. Same thing. I live with one. It's on my neck. Anyway, we got rock wars coming up in a little bit. I believe that I am the one picking this week. Tex or no, Brady is. It is Brady. It is you that's Brady's picking. We'll get a topic from Brady in just moments. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Holy smokes. We got late. We were running along. Melissa.

[John Holmberg]

Good thing we don't have John Gordon here.

[Brett]

I'm telling you, Melissa, who I love, she emails a lot. I know, she's very fun. She heard me goofing on Trump and she goes, how are you just now noticing the diminished cognitive function of Trump? All that crap you talked with old man Biden and you acknowledge that Half of. I'm like, oh, my God, is this what I was talking about? You can't be this man. So I said, I don't think I do an impression of Trump. That's like all that flattering. He sounds kind of like of a nonsensical boob. And then she says, you make him sound like a confident deal maker, completely vain and arrogant and delusional. Like, then it's a great impression. He's always been like that. It's one of the reasons people like him. He makes his own reality and chastises even anyone tries to personally destroy somebody who challenges it. Yeah, that's the fun of it. But I'm just relaxed about it now. Don't get mad at me, Melissa. You're too sweet. And then Justin says, I appreciate the fact you find humor in today's news, John. For me, everything feels like a TV show I refuse to watch because it's just infuriatingly stupid. And I see that too, but I, like, hate watching stuff. Makes me happy. All right, Rock wars is upon us. I am the chooser of such things. I'm gonna go ahead.

[Brady]

I thought I had the topic.

[Brett]

Oh, you do. Oh, that's right. Go ahead. I forgot. I keep thinking I am, but okay, you got it. Go ahead. Being that a good one too.

[Brady]

Being that it's national one liner day.

[Brett]

Oh, boy.

[Brady]

The coolest opening line of a rock song.

[Brett]

Oh, I like that, Brady. Well done. The coolest opening line of a rock song. The coolest first line of a rock song.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

All right. I like that one. You can help out [e-mail] you can do B. Bogan at 98k. I forgot about that. I'll try, baby. You got about that be. But do that one. Don't even do mine. B. [e-mail] you can text 97936. You can come up with your suggestions. The best opening line of a rock song in history. Three or four popping in my head right there. And it has to be sung. Or is it? Yeah, it's the first, like lyrical. Yeah, first lyric. Not just like some refrain talking. Okay, got it. All right, That's a good one. I like that. Nice job. All right, we got Rock wars up. If you guys want to play along. You know how to do it. We'll have our suggestions next. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Morning sickness. It's time for the weekly battle of musical supremacy known only as Rock Wars. And it is brought to you by our friends at Mo Money Pond. Shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to over 100,000American dollars. No credit needed. Top dollar paid. The entire process, just taking several minutes. Mo Money Pawn.com, 12th street and Indian School. If and you're interested. All right. This week's Rock Wars. A lot of people missed it on the email. Like they just picked a Cool opening. Like, the line wasn't great. It's just a memorable. Like, you know, people wanted juices on a vacation. Like, that's not a cool opening line. Just a cool song start. Like, what's the line? That's like, ooh, that's a powerful opening line. Not just a great start to a song because then B to B could win and Jesus Christ. But yeah, all right. I was the third. Or. No, you were right. So you could pick who goes first.

[Brady]

Go ahead, Joe.

[Brett]

You want me to go first? I haven't given it to. I'm still.

[John Holmberg]

I think this song basically describes the show with the opening lines. And let's hear from Michael Paulson from volbeat.

[Brett]

All right. That's pretty soft. Counting all the. In the room. I'm definitely not alone. So relatable.

[John Holmberg]

That's the show's theme, you know.

[Brett]

Yeah. I don't know which to go. You want me to go next? Do you want to go?

[Brady]

Sure.

[Brett]

I don't know which to go with which version of this it is to me now. My. My. One of my favorite songs, if not my favorite song of all time, is Todd Rundgren's hello, It's Me. I think the beginning of that hello, It's Me is so un. It's not a great line, but it's just such a great moment in a song. So. Though I was thinking of songs that have that thing that just grab your. The other one. I thought it was Ain't But Tricks and Hoes. I thought that was kind of a thing. What was the other one? Somebody. All you. All you hoes in here. Somebody here, gone. But I don't know which one you're going with. But this is the best opening line of any songs. Poetic. It's poetry. It's amazing. And hello, Darkness, my old friend. But I just don't like the way Draiman did it. I love this. It's good. It's powerful. That's a great rhyme. Yeah. Hello, darkness, my old friend. Come on.

[Brady]

Did you throw it at him?

[Brett]

That's. Yeah, that's 3,000. That's 3,000 thoughts in five words. It's an incredible line. And then Dave Draiman sang it like Dracula.

[John Holmberg]

He almost sings like Jason.

[Brett]

It's Jason in that dream zone. What was that? Saving Sarah Martin. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. That Dracula song. That's all I see when I hear.

[Brett]

It's a great song. He doesn't ruin it, but I like the original better. But we're talking greatest opening lines of a Song hello darkness, my old friend. Boom. You say it in honor of world one liner day people are like, I know that one all day. Brett's is pretty strong too. Brady, go ahead.

[Brady]

I came up with the topic because this is the first song that came to mind. It's so cool because the intro gets you right into the frame of mind. And then when he opens up with that opening song and I went with the original version cuz it's the best.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Rolling Stones. Oh, yeah. Sympathy for.

[Brett]

Lyrically, this one of the greatest songs ever written. All right, Brady, what is the opening line?

[Brady]

Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste.

[Brett]

Well done. Making sure he didn't pull that out of there.

[John Holmberg]

That's one of those ones where I can do the remake or the original and I'm happy.

[Brett]

Both are great. They're both great.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

I think actually think the original's amazing. The guns n Roses version is. Oh, yeah. Unbelievable.

[Brady]

You did a great job.

[Brett]

All right, those are good ones. And we don't have time for any voting. So John Gordon, pick a number between one and one and we'll do final call. The phone number is 585 9800. If you want to vote and pick a winner, it's $10 out of the two losers pockets. I don't know how we determine last place off of this. We'll ask the caller who they like the least. There you go. Will it be volbeat? Still counting. The line is counting all the assholes in the room. I'm definitely not alone. It's a great line. Brady chose sympathy for the devil. Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste. And I chose Simon and Garfunkel to be manhandled by Dave Draiman. Hello, darkness, my old friend. Dexters are angry you didn't go with Benny Mardonis. I thought about that. That was in my head. That was there. But it's not a great line. It's just disturbing. It's memorable. She's just 16 years old. It's a great line because you know what you're getting into. I mean, they cut right to the middle of the cheese right there. Allen is on the line. Alan's going to determine the winner. Alan, who's got it this week? I'm going to tell you, boys.

[Brady]

Pop Pop is swinging for the fences and coming after all your cheese Pop.

[Brett]

Up for the win. All right, who lost, me or Brett? Who's in third? John, I'm gonna say you probably Flipped it pretty hard on this one. All right, good. All right. There we go. That's fine. I flubbed it. It's okay. All right, we'll go. A little sympathy. I'm fine with this song. Thank you, Alan.

[John Holmberg]

Original or GnR?

[Brett]

The GnR version. We're men.

[Brady]

I just had to give credit.

[Brett]

No, look, the Stones version, when we did that for Night of the Singing Dead, the guys came in with the Guns N Roses guitars, and I did the Mick Jagger version vocally, and it, like, blended just fine. And then we kind of mixed up the chorus with what Jagger did. It's too much fun to not do the Mick Jagger version. It's great, though, this song. Come on. Outstanding. The guitars in this are great. All right, Brady, nice job. Well done.

[Brady]

I'm on the board.

[Brett]

Hey. And the song is exactly 7 minutes and 26 seconds, which is my birthday. It's almost like they did it for me. It is Guns N Roses, Sympathy for the Devil. Brady Wit. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Brilliant song. Evidently a lot of you people read Guns N Roses books. Because John Gordon brought it up that Slash hates that song. And then all my emails are like, I can't hear the song the same since Slash said he couldn't stand it.

[John Holmberg]

Like, yep, he was in the studio. He should have changed his tone.

[Brett]

It's your fault. You recorded it. But he didn't like how it came out. And their old manager, Alan Niven, hated all the COVID stuff.

[Brady]

Stuff.

[Brett]

But that was after he was out, too. So Slash essentially said that song broke up the band. But what are you going to. That band wasn't going anywhere back. They were going to be broken up for some reason or another.

[John Holmberg]

I like Terror the Dog, too. When they covered that.

[Brett]

Yeah. I'm going to ask Brett maybe. Brett, I don't think Brady does this. Do you Instagram? Have you fallen into the trap of those girls that dance for a second and then that flash picture. You got to try to take a picture to see what the second picture is.

[John Holmberg]

No, I haven't seen that.

[Brett]

Oh, it's pretty. Have you done that?

[Brady]

Yeah, I haven't seen that.

[Brett]

All right, so this is, like, the whole bunch of them. Once you. Have you done it, John, like, it's a girl, like, a really pretty girl.

[John Holmberg]

And she'll be, like, dancing or whatever her name was. It's dancing. Yeah.

[Brett]

But then in this. And then it's like, just like a tenth of a second. And you got to try to take a picture of it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Brett]

I'm to see what the hidden picture is. Oh, and it's a timing thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So yesterday I was sitting there doing nothing for a minute, and I thought it was for a minute. And then I went to clear out my deleted photos. Because I want. Or not. Not the deleted ones, but to see what I put. Because every picture you take goes into your photo ops. I was gonna get rid of those 697 photographs. I must have done 50 of those broads. I couldn't stop. And then everything I scrolled to was like, special picture in 3, 2. And the timing is like, reveal something. Yeah. If you put your thumb on it, it pauses it. I don't want to do that.

[Brady]

Don't take the picture.

[Brett]

It's a game. I don't know. I know, but if you. But it does the same thing. It stops the video right at the same time. More fun my way. I know that you can stop it with your thumb. I'm not interested. But you like 600 pictures. I wanted to freeze it, see what I'm getting at.697 sitting on the couch thing. And I noticed that when I was almost done. And I know I'm not the only one. There's going to be people. I've been down that road.

[Brady]

Road.

[Brett]

When that. My phone battery went from 48% to 6%. I. I don't know. I wasn't paying attention to the time. It might have been two hours. I'm not kidding. Of me trying this game. And it's fun. I know. And then some of them are disappointing. How many. Yeah.

[Brady]

How many were failed shots?

[Brett]

Oh, almost all of them. It's hard to get it. I mean, it's. It is the. It's a sliver of a second, and you have to hit it, right? And they do a thing where they'll be like, three, two, one, and it's not on time. So you go, three, two, one, go. That would work. It's not how it does it because sometimes it's right off the way. So then I was doing the musician thing of 3 and 2 and 1 and. And hit it on and because it was you. And then I'd get a few of them close 697 photos of about 50 different girls doing this. You can't stop. I look, if it was dogs jumping, I'd have tried it. Like, it became a game. It's. And people are like, here's the trick. I don't want the trick. I like the game. Says screen record on your phone. Then you can go into slow motion frame by frame. I'm not doing it to jerk off. I got plenty of that. I got pornhub and all. I don't need that. I'm doing a new game. It's a new. And the hot girl's dancing. And then there's like, what's the 3, 2, 1. And it goes for like, oh, there was something in there. And you can't. It's fun. And once I send you one, it will frustrate you to no end. And my record was two. Like a girl at like two takes. I got her on the second one. It's like fishing. And I caught 697. Well, I cast 697 times and I caught like 35. And then I realized I'm sort of racist towards Asians.

[John Holmberg]

Why was it pixel?

[Brett]

Because. No, some of the girls dancing were Asian. And then you get like a dirty picture of the Asian girl, but I'm like, she ain't got no ass. Next. I'm not gonna play that. Yeah. Oh, it drives you crazy. I'll send you one. I'll find one. Because it's now. It now. That's all I get. I don't get ads for.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I know how Brady feels.

[Brett]

Oregano oil. Yeah. Now Brady says, yeah, it's all breastfeeding videos. And I've got all these girls dancing deformities. Yeah. Cripples that are dancing. And then all of a sudden they're better and then they're bad again. And then it led me to the one thing I am going, I want to do this. I want to be an influencer for something. I'll see if we can get it done. Get yourself some things called blaze pods. I got these over Christmas and I'm just now starting to play with them. Blaze pods. They're little lights that light up on your. Like your phone has an app and it controls them. And you do shuffle drills and hand drill. Like, it's almost like Simon, only it's wherever you want to put it.

[Brady]

Race car drivers do a training on that.

[Brett]

A lot of that. Put them on the wall, put them on their feet. You can do. You can. You can put them in front of you. Boxing stuff like that. Footwork stuff. And I was out in the yard just spinning around in circles doing these things on a shuffle drill just to get my footwork right. And. Oh, my God, it was crazy. And so I felt okay about my two hour spell. Of photographing horrors by doing a little workout with my Blaze Pop. Get Blaze Pop. Incredible. See, all these guys keep. You keep giving you. Just rookie. Grab the girl's username and Google it. Like, I don't. I'm not that inner. I want to play the game, you see? I want to see how fast my reaction time is. I don't care about her boobs. Boobs are everywhere. It's easy to be hot. It's hard to take a picture of it. Yeah, I'm. Look, that's simple. If I wanted to just see naked girls first.

[Brady]

You took the picture, you captured it. It gives you another picture. Like a secret picture. Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah. So like, if. As you're. As I'm talking to you, if I'm dancing and being sexy. Sometimes that happens between Brady and I. Usually you're not here and I capture it. No, no. I'm dancing and being sexy and normal like, hi. And then there's like this, like, tiny. If you blink, you'll miss it. Interruption. And that you got to try to take a screenshot of. And it's just. And I understand you put your thumb on it. Stop. I'm not there for the beat off. I've seen boobs. I know what boobs look like. I like them. I think they're great. I want to see more. But this is a game of see if I can get the picture right. And I got guys going. I have a tablet. I use my phone and video. Then I go into editing, and I find I'm not in her. I know she's going to be naked. I can find naked people easy. This is a time if they try it. 697 shots. Little thick.

[Brady]

You going back?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. I'll be playing all day. I'm gonna try to break my record of 697. It's incredible. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends over at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. You know, they're the team IDOC for the Suns and Diamondbacks. And if you watched the suns last night, 2020, baby. They are playing. And Jalen Green's back. It's awesome. They can get you out of your glasses, out of your contacts, and into seeing beautifully. More vividly and clearer than ever. Do my little test right now. If you're driving on the road, look at the license plate of the car in front of you and read it out loud without squinting or straining. If you can't do that, you should go get your complimentary consultation from Dr. Jay. Schwartz Right now and see how you can make that better. Because it ain't getting better on its own. If you already got a little blurry, guess what, that's going south and stay in that direction. So take my little test today as you're driving along and see if you pass it. And if not, no harm. They got three locations somewhere near you for sure. And you can get your consultation and see what you can do next. The Schwarz Laser Eye Center. Awesome. And you can check them out. Teamidoc.com Brady Entertainment After a record 21 consecutive years, Bron.

[Brady]

Bron King James will not be named as a starter for this year's NBA All Star. God.

[John Holmberg]

There is a God.

[Brett]

Long national night.

[Brady]

Over, of course, is a streak of 1297 consecutive games with at least 10 points.

[Brett]

Came to an end almost against the Suns. But it happened the night after sunset held him and he was fighting for those last four points.

[Brady]

Who do you think? He's got the record 21 consecutive years. Who do you think? Second.

[Brett]

21 consecutive years of what?

[Brady]

Of being a starter on the All Star.

[Brett]

Kareem played forever.

[Brady]

Kareem's number two.

[Brett]

Yeah, that has to be it. And then. Then it probably falls off. Jordan Bird. No, Bird couldn't start because of his back. He didn't play that long. Bird played like 14, 15 years.

[Brady]

Third surprised me, too. I thought. I thought Jordan, maybe.

[Brett]

Jordan took off three years and he played from 184 to 2001. Magic didn't know. Magic's career got interrupted. Spoiler alert. AIDS stopped. Fat madness.

[Brady]

It was Kobe.

[Brett]

Kobe was third. Yeah, Yeah. I was trying to think like Kevin Garnett, somebody who started when they were 18. Chamberlain. I don't even know they had an All Star Game back then. Bill Russell, he had to be in like 15 in a row.

[Brady]

William Shatner went viral.

[Brett]

Yeah, I saw that. Eating cereal. Eating cereal in his car and driving. Right?

[Brady]

Yeah. There's a still shot. And then there is.

[Brett]

He's got a bowl of.

[Brady]

Well, he was at the traffic light at least, but still.

[Brett]

He had a bowl of cinnamon toast Crunch in the car and there was like no cap on. Just a bowl of eat.

[Brady]

That'll pass out.

[Brett]

I know, but have a solid, man. You don't eat liquids in bowls. What if it's soup and we're wrong, old man? Somebody keep an eye on Bill. I nearly killed him. Thanks, John.

[Brady]

Look, no surprise.

[Brett]

I already did it. I already saved his life once. I saved Captain Kirk one time. That's all I get. I'm going to Text him, Bill. Liquids. Was that. That was a hot soup. Wasn't having cereal. Who's got an eye on you? I don't know what to do. I drive around with my cinema. Toast crunch. Brave New World. We need more milk.

[Brady]

Some. Put a list together of the most offensive reality shows ever made. Most of them were the early 2000s. Are you hot? Remember that. Contestants.

[Brett]

Joe Millionaire's gotta be out there. Is Joe Millionaire on there? The Ugly duckling. The Swan. That's the one. The Swan. That was great. Remember they took those ugly broads and they.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett]

Taught them how to be nicer and then gave them makeovers.

[Brady]

Just patched them up.

[Brett]

You had to be cast as an uggo. You're good. Oh, man. You're hired. Man, they had a couple of them that were just the pickup artist. Great show.

[John Holmberg]

Was that what, that guy?

[Brady]

Yep. Mystery.

[Brett]

Mystery.

[John Holmberg]

Mystery. That's right.

[Brady]

Eric von Markovic.

[Brett]

What is he doing Google mystery today? Hope he's single.

[Brady]

Boy meets boy. Kind of like a gay bachelor.

[Brett]

I was gonna say that sounds gay. Well, the gay bachelor is the dumbest thing ever. 30. 30 gays live in a mansion together and fight. They're just gonna bang each other. There's no. They're gonna wait for one dude.

[Brady]

Right? Why you have to be 30 gay.

[Brett]

Guys fighting over 1D? Why? It's like, you know, it's raising canes in there. Everybody gets some black white.

[Brady]

2006, a white family and a black family traded places with the help of help of body makeup and prosthetics.

[Brett]

Oh, they black faced us to see.

[Brady]

How the other half lived. It was produced by Ice Cube.

[Brett]

Then it's okay. If it was produced by, I don't know, Conan O'. Brien. That would have been racist.

[Brady]

Benefit Streets was 2014 through 2015 was a British show about welfare recipients who refused to work and also ran around committing crimes like shoplifting.

[Brett]

And they filmed it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Aren't they accomplices at that point?

[Brady]

Think so.

[Brett]

I'd watch that.

[Brady]

Who's your daddy? 2005 contestants adopted as infants had to pick their biological fathers out of a group of men.

[Brett]

Spo.

[Brady]

If you guessed right, they got a cash prize.

[Brett]

Hold on. Is this like my Japanese game show where you have to grab the dick to see which one's your dad? If you can guess the glory hole dick and you guess your dad, it's 100 grand.

[Brady]

Get this. It's it. So if you. If you guessed right, you get cash, but if you chose the wrong man, he gets the money.

[Brett]

That's Fantastic. So it's like the Dating Game, only the daddy get. Yeah, I still love my glory hole. Daddy game. Five wieners will appear from that wall, Pick which one is your father and win $1 million. You got to do it. You're blindfolded. And you gotta grab it, feel it for that feels like mine a little bit. Because it would be similar. Dad passed his to you.

[John Holmberg]

Mystery is still out there.

[Brett]

What's he doing?

[John Holmberg]

He's doing PUA Community. Running live boot camps, coaching men Global Globally seminar. Teaching his mystery method and promoting self improvement through his social media.

[Brett]

He's got to be 50. You can't keep teaching people how to pick up chicks at bars.

[John Holmberg]

54.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You can't be 54 and go, I know how to pick up chicks at bars.

[Brady]

I wonder if Matador is still Matador.

[Brett]

That was with him. I forgot about that guy. His Mexican cohort that was like his first graduate was the guy that first took the course. And mystery matador would score.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, he looks like what's his name from Buck Cherry hat.

[Brett]

It's dead. Or Dave. He used to work at the Edge. I think that's probably because he's missing his hair.

[John Holmberg]

That's why he's wearing that now.

[Brett]

He always wore the hat. But man, Mystery looks.

[John Holmberg]

How many? He's receding.

[Brett]

He looks okay for 15. Nothing wrong with that. Sure still does. Live online courses. Buck 50. Who's still turning to him?

[Brady]

Him.

[Brett]

Man.

[John Holmberg]

Give me. How much are the courses?

[Brady]

It looked like it said 150 bucks for.

[Brett]

Oh, it's just desperate nerds. All right, who's his partner there? We gotta go. That's enough. We're done. You guys have your amazing Wednesday ahead of you. Larry's coming up next. Did Shannon air the interview with Mustaine yesterday? He's going to do a little more today. Dave Mustaine was with Shannon. So we'll talk about that later. And evidently there's a secret to this interview we didn't know about. It should have just gone, Hi, it's Dave, and I'm interviewing Dave. Hello, me. Hello, Dave. He asks his own questions in the interview a couple of times Now I'm more curious to hear it. So Shannon will have that for you later. We're done. You guys have a great Wednesday. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.