01-21-26 - Man Killed For Cutting Bathroom Line At QT Has Us Discussing Line Cutters - Porn Star Abella Danger Apologizes For Being Shown On ESPN Natl Champ Broadcast

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 01-21-26
Date: January 21, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Themes: Rage over line cutting, heated incident at QT bathroom, and porn star Abella Danger’s ESPN cameo apology

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" dives into two headline-grabbing topics: the social fury and sometimes violence sparked by line-cutting—exemplified by a deadly shooting at a Phoenix QT gas station bathroom—and the comedic fallout from adult film star Abella Danger’s appearance on ESPN during the national college football championship, which led to her public apology.

As ever, Holmberg and his crew wield their blend of irreverent commentary, local humor, and personal anecdotes to make sense (and fun) of the news. The team swerves from social commentary on line etiquette to riffing on the absurdity of celebrity apologies, with characteristic asides into bodily functions and sports fandom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Line-Cutting Rage: From QT Incidents to Childhood Memories

• Opening Anecdote & Listener Email
  • John reads an email from a listener, Glenn, about a tense interaction at a local QT. Glenn describes being called out by a "mean little lesbian" for allegedly cutting the line, which escalated with insults and ended with the woman knocking items off the shelf (05:00).
  • “You can’t tell who the whores are unless they’re outside smoking. I think that’s half the reason they passed all those laws.” – John Holmberg (01:45)
• Escalation to Violence
  • John recounts seeing a news story about a man being shot at QT for cutting the line to the bathroom; the shooter was DeAndre Franklin, and the victim was Danny Castor (07:07).
  • The group jokes about the eternal childhood feeling of yelling “no cuts!”, but notes how adults can lose their minds over the issue.
  • “It never stops being juvenile. Couldn’t cut in second grade, and you’d think eventually it’d be like, it’s all right. But cuts piss people off.” – John Holmberg (08:06)
• Personal Line-Cutting Stories
  • The crew shares personal brushes with cutting—from pretending to meet up with people in line, to the ethics of holding spots for friends (09:58).
  • “I think cuts in life balances. There’s been plenty of times I’ve been in line and just slid in because a friend’s there. It’s not cuts—we were holding.” – John Holmberg (09:55)

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2. Escalation and De-Escalation of Public Conflict

• Dealing with Confrontations
  • Discussion veers into how to de-escalate public conflicts, especially with aggressive strangers, referencing self-defense training and personal anecdotes (12:04).
  • “If you can deescalate the situation, do it now.” – John Holmberg (12:12)
• Toilet Emergencies and Social Grace
  • The hosts riff about QT’s bathroom congestion, recalling stories of people desperate enough to go elsewhere, including at public events (18:12).
  • “If you need the bathroom so much that you’re gonna run in front of me, I’m gonna let you. If you’re in a hurry to go to the bathroom, door is yours.” – John Holmberg (17:51)

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3. Abella Danger on ESPN: When Porn Fame Meets Mainstream TV

• Incident Recap
  • The crew discusses how Abella Danger, a high-profile porn star, was spotlighted during the NCAA National Championship game, becoming instantly recognizable to many viewers (22:23).
  • “Every man watching went, ‘Hey, that’s Abella Danger. I’ve seen her with Johnny Sins and I’ve seen her work.’” – John Holmberg (22:39)
• Abella’s Public Apology
  • Abella apologizes online for any distraction, stating: “I’m so sorry if it distracted from the school, my presence. …I didn’t ask ESPN to put me on, but they did.” (22:51)
  • John and Bret joke about the absurdity of her needing to apologize for simply existing, poking fun at public prudery.
  • “You don’t have to apologize for that. You didn’t take away from anything, you little angel. You’ve done nothing.” – John Holmberg (23:52)
• Personal Connections and Brand Liability
  • John compares his own “brand liability” to Abella’s, since Suns broadcaster Kevin Ray hesitated to openly acknowledge their friendship during a Suns broadcast (24:03).
  • “There I was last night feeling exactly like it when K. Ray throws my name out. …I just want you to acknowledge I exist. Am I important to you at all or is it all about our fun?” – John Holmberg (27:42)
• Porn Star Recognition Gags
  • Banter about listeners and hosts recognizing porn stars by sight—or, humorously, “by ass” (36:03).
  • “You know, they have software to recognize faces. …You will recognize a person by their ass.” – John Holmberg (36:20)
  • Brett recalls meeting Abella at a promo event and recognizing her years later only after seeing a photo from the back; the group jokes about his “assh-ole recognition system.”
  • “You’re the Terminator of ass.” – John Holmberg (38:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Eternal Rage of Line Cutting
  • “Adults lose their mind over cuts. It’s a huge… people getting shot over cuts, lesbians tearing down QT over cuts.” – John Holmberg (08:06)
• About Brand Liability
  • “At least I’m open about it. Everything I talk about at work goes out on the air when I talk about friends making my car gay.” – John Holmberg (21:00)
• On Abella Danger’s ESPN Apology
  • “She should apologize publicly for being alive. And she did. She said she was sorry for being at the game and wished she could just be a regular student…” – John Holmberg (25:34)
• Porn Star Recognition System
  • “If only ESPN would have shot a different angle. Brett’s like, ‘Hey, there’s a Bella Danger.’ …That is an impressive recognition skill.” – John Holmberg (36:01)
• Classic Morning Sickness Absurdity
  • “You must be destroyed. The world is filled with fast packs and I’m here to get rid of all of them. Fastback Terminator.” – John Holmberg (38:52)
• On the Oddity of Apologies for Fame
  • “If you are a porn star and you’ve got front row seats, you’ve earned it.” – John Holmberg (39:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:45] – Laws about women smoking in public and sexist history riff
• [05:00] – Listener email: line-cutting incident at QT
• [07:07] – News story of QT bathroom shooting over line-cutting
• [12:04] – De-escalation tactics and road rage story
• [18:12] – Porta-potty etiquette and public urination tale
• [22:23] – Abella Danger appears on ESPN; public recognition
• [22:51] – Abella Danger’s apology and discussion of social prudery
• [27:42] – John compares his own “side piece” feeling to Abella’s predicament
• [36:03] – Brett’s “ass recognition” delivers a comedy highlight

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains Holmberg’s trademark mix of locker-room banter, local color, and unfiltered observations. The crew’s humor is sometimes crass, often self-deprecating, and laced with a sly critique of social absurdities—always pushing boundaries while inviting listeners to laugh at the news and themselves.

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Summary

Anyone who missed this episode got a full dose of Morning Sickness humor: how something as simple as waiting in line can unravel civilized behavior (with local tragedy to prove it); how even world-weary adults occasionally act like schoolkids; and how America’s puritanical streak makes porn star sightings into TV news. Along the way, John and the gang weave in awkward personal experiences, unfiltered opinions, and the kind of radio camaraderie that has made the show an Arizona favorite.

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Contact:
Tune in to 98KUPD (97.9fm, the 98KUPD app or www.98kupd.com) for more irreverence weekdays 5:30-10am.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. This is the Morning Sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's go and get this thing started. Because the faster you start it, the faster it ends. Let's go. Seriously, it's double time. We're gonna get out of here by 8:00 today. I got a lot to do.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like the other morning shows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. They're already leaving. Start the show. I had something in my head. Brady handed me a thing that said, 118 years ago, two today, January 21, 1908, which was the year my grandpa was born. He'd have been 118. Jesus Christ. He looked that he looked at ever since. He was always 118. It says 1908. New York City lawmakers passed a law making it illegal for women to smoke in public. Mayor George McClellan Jr. Jr. Wisely vetoed it two weeks later because he realized that if chicks couldn't smoke in public, guys would have a harder time spotting the girls who do. Yeah. All right. No matter what you think of the olden days and puritanical everything, dudes have always tried to get to poon. And that's it. That's what it's always been about.

[Brett Vesely]

Put that guy in Mount Rushmore, please.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what.

[John Holmberg]

That's a hell of a mayor right there. What is our mayor doing to get us laid? Anything?

[Brady]

Imagine how many cities had that law.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they're like, oh, they're right. You can't tell who the whores are unless they're outside smoking. I think that's half the reason they passed all those laws that you couldn't smoke inside. There she is. There's one standing out there. She's brave in the cold, so she can suck on something anytime. A girl will brave 10 degree temperatures just to suck something. She's a keeper.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the way it was in high school, too. Oh, yeah, there's one.

[John Holmberg]

And there was a girl I was dated smoked, but she didn't stink, which was the key. You can't smoke and stink. You can't smell like that. That's truth Man Breaker. What A great thing. I watched the thing on the Internet yesterday where the. On, on the Insta Instagrams they had. It's the whatever podcast pops up every once in a while. And it's intriguing because the guy asked the girls. He's got these girls in there and they're kind of. He's like, just defend yourselves against like common traits of what women are, you know, like paying for all the dates guys do, all the chivalrous stuff. What, what did men get in return? I mean, he's kind of like almost Charlie Kirk. He's been. Charlie Kirk used to go on the show. Charlie Kirk was. He's not like political. I know he is, but he's not outwardly political. He's just kind of like, explain to me why a guy should get into a relationship with one of you. He's gonna have to pay for everything. He's gonna. And then he's gotta. And it's like he's buying something and he still has to earn it. And so he says, tell me something. And I just started laughing. I'm like, oh my God, this is mean. But it's kind of true. He said, if you could snap your fingers, would you just eliminate men altogether? Because you seem frustrated with men. And she goes, oh yeah. And she's calling him a misogynist the whole time. He said, so you'd kill every man on the planet and I'm the woman hater and that's bad, but you would, with a snap of finger, kill everyone on the planet? She goes, I just think it would be a more peaceful, better place. And he goes, and I just started laughing. He goes, within a week, 40% of the female population is dead if we're not here. How do you figure? He goes, one fire and it rages for months. He goes to all the firefighters. There's women firefighters. He goes, yeah, but nuh, not like that. And he said, infrastructure where your trash wouldn't get picked up. Plumbing issues. Wouldn't know you don't do the jobs that men do. And she starts like getting all weepy eyed. You're just an asshole. You said you would kill every man on the planet with, with, with a Loki stick. And I'm the asshole? This isn't right. I just started laughing. I'm like, ooh, we're eventually going to have a man woman war. I mean, we'd win that in a heartbeat. But still, she was pretty. And that was the thing. He takes these women who are like most of them that feel entitled because they're beautiful. And start talking about all the things they're gonna get. And oh, his best question is always like, what's the minimum a man has to make for you to like be with. To be with you? None of them say anything less than $300,000. And one said, 13 million. Like you have to make 13. You realize what small pool of man you're dealing with? I date him. I find him and I date him. And he goes, you date liars. There aren't that many dudes making 13 million who are still looking for and going into just the street. He goes, it's usually somebody. They're not just gonna find you. Well, I date him all the time because let me see your hand. Raise your hand. No ring. He goes, yeah, see, you're. You're not finding anything. You're just getting banged by millionaires or.

[Brett Vesely]

$30,000 a year or a liar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I found it.

[Brett Vesely]

Old town Scottsdale, guys.

[John Holmberg]

I found it hysterical. I watched the local news last night and I had this email sitting on me yesterday after the show. This could have gone double sideways. This dude emails me and says, john, I got into it at a QT today. You know how the lines are at that place are kind of like sort of two at once in a weird way. So I get in what I think is the line, and a mean little lesbian says, hey, come on, don't be a jerk. Line starts back here. And she had a hat that said f ice on it. So had she said it nicely, I'd have just gone back to line. But there was so much attitude. So I said, oh, I'm sorry, sir, it sucks when people cut the line and don't follow the rules, doesn't it? There should be laws or rules against that. She was quiet, but on the way out she says, f you, trump tard. So I went to the classics and said, shut up, dyke. She noticed that the QT guy was laughing, so she knocked a bunch of stuff off the shelf and then ran out. I wasn't a trump tard before, but I am now. I say I should jail all lesbians who look like bowling pins with flat tops. Love you guys. Glenn F Trump 2028. All right, Glenn, you've gone too far. The other. But yeah, interesting to wear an f ice hat statement and then say, you can't cut. Yeah, like to get angry at somebody for cutting the line. And I don't want to go. Chris Berman. Yeah, that got a little bit weird. Yeah, hilarious though. But you turned. That's what you're doing. Crazy bowling pen Lesbians. You're turning people who aren't Trump tards into Trump tards just for not wanting to be on your team. Calm down now.

[Brady]

What does QT do? They open up a second register.

[John Holmberg]

Alleviate.

[Brady]

They speed up the system.

[John Holmberg]

QT does get confusing sometimes. Where do I stand if somebody goes, hi, Hi. Now. Yeah, go. And he's working on somebody else with his left hand. They're.

[Brady]

Some guys are really good.

[John Holmberg]

They're good at that. That QT is that they're ambidextrous. But on the heels of that, I watched the news last night, and at another qt, a dude shot a guy for cutting the line at the bathroom.

[Brady]

Oh, boy.

[John Holmberg]

It was like a week ago, though. So I had this email from Glenn yesterday as I was mopping up, like, oh, I'll breed that tomorrow. That's a good one. Anything that includes bowling pin lesbians with Ralphie May's hair. She said homeless guys killed. Killed a guy who attempted to confront him about cutting the bathroom line at a Phoenix QT. Now, again, it was a. DeAndre Franklin was taken into custody for shooting Danny Castor. DeAndre's 25, Danny's 52, just before 8am on January 16th. This is a week ago. And it wasn't like the west side. It was Arcadia, 44th street and Oak. That's right. Well, all right. I don't have pictures, but DeAndre Franklin and I think Brett's gonna go down the road there. And Danny Castor, which is. I got nothing there, I would assume. Oh, yeah, come on. Correct.

[Brett Vesely]

He lived in that neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's probably true. But DeAndre shot Danny because they cuts is like, never stops being juvenile. Couldn't cut in second grade. And you'd think eventually be like, it's all right. You cuts piss people off. Like, you get in line ahead of somebody, and suddenly we're all back in second grade. No cuts. Like it is. Adults lose their mind over cuts. It's a huge. People getting shot over cuts. Lesbians tearing down QT over cuts. And the guy accidentally did it. By the way, how busy is the QT bathroom? That there's a line. Yeah, I mean, clamp it up, and in the morning, you're a bunch of.

[Brady]

People that don't want to do take a dump at work.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, but at qt.

[Brady]

Yeah, they go to qt.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Well, go next door to the dirty drummer or something. And I don't think it's open. Sure. That place has to be open at 6 in the morning.

[Brett Vesely]

Or just do Scott Taylor and come in here and just do it here.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Scott Taylor. He's here right now dumping. I saw his car pull in. He immediately goes to the can.

[Brett Vesely]

Probably clinched when he was running down the hall.

[John Holmberg]

No, he wakes up in the morning, goes, ah, that's gonna be a good one for my co workers. And then he just. He holds it, probably drinks a pot of coffee, loosen it up a little bit, throws it at us like a gorilla at the zoo. Yeah, I didn't know, but cuts are a thing. I'm not that upset with cuts. Usually my cuts. What's this guy think he's doing? Like, I don't ever really get. I've never screamed, hey, no cuts ever. Unless there's like eight, nine people. I'm like, guys, you can't cut. Because I think I've. I think it balances out. I think cuts in life balances. Like, there's been plenty of times I've been in line and Brie's like, hey, what's going on? Like, just pretend like you were supposed to be here. One of those deals where a friend comes up and you just get in line with them. It's not cuts. We were holding.

[Brady]

That happens a lot at, you know, whether it's a movie theater.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure, sure. Well, you're waiting for your friend.

[Caller/Guest]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Updated Holmberg's morning sickness, Right? Or you see a guy like, hey, yeah. Oh, Just act like we're supposed to be here. And then you do cuts. But I'm. I'm. It's. We're way too old to have cuts. Piss us off, aren't we?

[Brady]

For shootings?

[John Holmberg]

Like, you can't kill a guy over cuts. I don't even yell at anybody. Hey, don't cut. It's like, that ended for me, like, eighth grade. Cuts is cuts. Like, I'll get there. I'm just like, yeah, what a jerk. He's cutting. Like, if it's a dude by himself and he looks around and he just goes slink in the line.

[Brady]

Now if there's something on the line, like, it's a cut. I can see the rage. Again, not shooting, but, like, if it's. There's only so many available. You've been in line waiting to buy.

[John Holmberg]

It, and then somebody just shoots in the middle line. But what are you doing? Like, what is so many available tickets?

[Brady]

It used to be, like, when tickets would go on sale.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you're not 28,000th in line. If tickets go on sale, you're probably getting tickets if you got there early and if one dude cuts in front of you now, again, it was just a constant stream of people. Just there's laws to lines, there's rules.

[Brady]

American Idol never seem like they had rage or maybe they hit them.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe they do. But there's that line was, we're all going to the same place. Take a breath. And lesbians, you can't wear an f ice hat and be mad about people being taken out of line and put in the back of the line and then get, you know, violent at the qt.

[Brady]

It could have been tight on time, going to a protest or something.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you gotta run to that protest and that dude's getting his five hour energy drink bogging down her time. She might have been a late lesbian. She might have just gotten the side of her head shaved and it took a little longer than they expected because they. They hit a burl or a knothole or something in her head because they have those.

[Brett Vesely]

She had her shift to title nine.

[John Holmberg]

She was running late.

[Brett Vesely]

Man, their game is cut like that.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta open all the sports was Sun's game. That was pretty neat.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, they're still there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's probably. They're showing all the protests at title nine anyway evident. Yeah, but you don't want to be cutting a lesbian's hair and hit a burl. You can't. That takes forever. You tangle it, ruin your razor. Oh, your razor's done. Your electrics get locked in. You can't do it. Did you hit a burl? That was a cowlick, but I honestly believe it could be a table. Anyway, I like angry lesbians. I had my run in with an angry lesbian at the swizzle in that time. She started to want to physically fight me. I wasn't even involved in the problem in the place. I was trying to break it up. But always know we've learned this from years of self defense training. If you can deescalate the situation, do it now. Over the break, I had that lady get in front of me. She cut out, ironically out of the swizzle in and nearly hit me and cut me off. Didn't even see it. And I got in front of her and just stopped my car in the middle of Bethany Home road and put the tops off, put both my fingers in the air and then she started to scream at me and I started to scream back ironically. I'm on the phone with Jay Ackerman at the time, the guy who runs React defense self defense training and he's like John ds. You don't know what she's got in that car. And I'm like, I don't care. I hate her. Right? And I was boiling, and I.

[Brady]

You've lost it.

[John Holmberg]

Then I screamed, I hope your cancer gets aids, you. And I blocked the entrance to the freeway for everyone because she needed on it. I just parked probably about 45 seconds. Drove her crazy. That was my favorite thing in the world to do. So I understand it, but she nearly hit me with a car that's not cut. Cuts are dangerous. Be careful with that. This guy says cutting the beer line is a great album name. That is true. Cutting the beer line. This one says. Yeah, well, that's what the guy says. He says, you're. Everybody gets it, Adam, you're way behind. He said, you can be mad at someone for cutting qt, but you're jumping the borders. Acceptable. Yeah. Catch up, Adam. That's the whole point of his story. I think he got lost in the lesbian with burl hair.

[Brett Vesely]

All the bouncing ball.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. You got to keep up the f ice hat was the key to the story being, you know, mad. But now you can't wear an f ice hat and then get mad at cuts. You should be four cuts, I think, right? Don't you?

[Brady]

Yeah, in a way, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And for the want of one letter, she absolutely loves cuts on ladies. You know, if you just add a to a certain to the middle, you just throw it. She's a big fan of the cuts with that extra letter, so she should calm down. But, yeah, be careful. And always de. Escalate. Don't worry about it. Qt. Those dudes are so fast back there. Ladies, too. So quick bringing you out of the QT that cuts, you'll barely even notice. I have no idea how it works. I've stood just, like, idiotically just outside of where the line starts and waited for somebody to go, hi. They always hate qt. Always says hello to you. Like, they. Yeah, sometimes it's not that authentic, but they hear the door open, they go, hi, thank you for calling me. Hi. And they're looking down by design. Oh, Dutch brothers is annoying. But, yeah, QT has to say hello. Same way.

[Brady]

Well, they do it for safety reasons, too, acknowledging that I see you in here.

[John Holmberg]

Is that why? Yeah, I think it's just to be friendly. I think that's around.

[Brady]

Hey, how you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Really? You think that's for safety?

[Brady]

Yeah, it's just like cameras talk about when no one gives you eye contact or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't like that look. Away.

[Brady]

They want to let you know they're aware you're here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think it's one of those things where they're trying to. Like the marketing says everybody likes to be acknowledged and recognized as human beings. It's Bob. That's a Bob move. The QT Bobs are like, if we said hello to everyone inauthentically as they walked in, they'd feel it more at home. Brady's playing. Hey, I'm watching you.

[Brady]

When they look over and say. When you look over and say hi to him back, you know you're on camera.

[John Holmberg]

And they do that. Fingers on their eyes. To your eyes.

[Brady]

Identified you.

[John Holmberg]

Hi. Thanks for saying hi. Got my eyes on you, Mother. Welcome to qt. Anyway, I like it.

[Brady]

It's a nice gun.

[John Holmberg]

You'll see. Anyway, be careful with the cuts. I worry about that because, you know, I don't think I've ever. I don't think since like, seventh or eighth grade I've ever yelled, hey, you, cut. I think I'm kind of over. I do see it as frustrating, but I don't think I've ever yelled at anyone.

[Brady]

Usually talk about it with the people.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Are you cutting? Yeah, he's cutting now. I do think it's kind of. Because I've benefited greatly from cutting. A couple times at Disneyland, I found little gaps in the system and end up halfway in the line. And ironically, the one time I did get caught was by a guy who listens to the show here. Happened to be right behind us. The line gapped out to Pirates of the Caribbean, and I'm, like, paying attention. Shot right in front of him. And then line caught up to the spot and stacked it like I was supposed to be there. And the guy behind me goes, hey, Holmberg, you weren't there a few minutes ago, huh? Yeah, his name was Chris. We ended up hanging out the whole day at the park. It was fun. We had a good time. Cut. Brought friends together, and it did cut out about 45 minutes of that Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Brady]

Huge.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big one. You got to get on the Pirates when you're at Disneyland. Cuttings okay there, but, yeah, be careful with the qt and don't shoot each other over the potty. You never know. I know Scott Taylor's got a liquid brew that's shooting out of him like he's a colander, but it's like the.

[Brett Vesely]

Slime under the City of Ghostbusters, too.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's what he does.

[Brett Vesely]

The hate comes out of it.

[John Holmberg]

He's probably. He probably stopped by a QT to get more coffee so he could poop here. Yeah. But you never know. So there's a Scott Taylor. If you need the bathroom so much that you're gonna run in front of me, I'm gonna let you. I'm never in anybody's. Like, if you're in a hurry to go to the bathroom, door is yours.

[Brady]

Again. I go back to the nhra. We let that lady go ahead. She asked me, but I think it was a little late.

[John Holmberg]

She was actually pissing in the line, you guess, man. Brady and I were at the drag races.

[Brady]

Like, go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

We're walking out of the thing, and there's two. Two Porta Johns. And Brad's like, I got to go wee wee, is what he says to me. And I'm like, all right, Being adult.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

And I think, oh, I gotta go now. So we stood in line. I was holding his hand, and we're standing in line and stuff, and this lady taps on the shoulder. Can I get ahead of you guys? I really gotta go. And she was bombed. She slowly looks down, and she looks down, and she is, like, actively urinating.

[Brady]

The last to look down.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you need this as bad as you think. I think you're doing pretty good on your own.

[Brett Vesely]

A slob.

[Brady]

It was soiled.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she. I mean, it was a lot too. She wasn't like. It wasn't a little bit. She had let go. So the same way Scott Taylor does here. Just all the sphincter muscles relax and everything comes out.

[Brady]

That top fuel got me.

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome how that beer and man energy. I don't know if this is a squirt or a pee, but either way, it's coming out. And it's coming out in gushies.

[Brett Vesely]

I just saw John Force.

[John Holmberg]

John Force smiled at me. It just looks like that. No, he smiled right, right at me. And I became real moist, like a humid day in Chicago. And then glooping it. It's glooping out.

[Brady]

Go clean it up with some of that blue.

[John Holmberg]

Look down, boys.

[Brett Vesely]

Sort of viscous.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is. It's a little bit like glue.

[Brady]

There's a nice jean cut offs.

[John Holmberg]

That was crazy. I forgot about her. Well, that time I delivered to Tony Roma's, and that lady was standing there in a moomoo, and she's just laughing at me, and I'm handing her the food, like $30, whatever, and she's just like. And her husband goes you think we're crazy, don't you? And I'm like, no. And I look down and she is just pissing all over the sidewalk. And they are laughing. I'm like, oh, my God. You want to come in with us? No, I do not. I will. Here's your food. It's free tonight. That was a good move.

[Brett Vesely]

I will pay for.

[John Holmberg]

I have got this. Goodbye.

[Caller/Guest]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. But, yeah, be careful out there. People who have to pee, people are going to cut. It's going to happen. Don't know if you guys watched the Suns game last night, but Kevin Ray made me basically the same as a Bella Danger at the national championship game the other night. I am. I am Kevin Ray. Sons announcers. Brand liability. Sure, we're friends. I've gotten texts from friends recently that say, hey, don't talk about me being gay in your car and don't say who I am. Lying. You got it, Mark. I won't do that ever again. That's wrong. So just joking with him about. Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't want to use his name. I'm not going to do it. But, yeah, it's like, you're a jerk. I'm like, I'm brand liability. You're my friend. You be a good friend. Sure. You talk about me at work, and I don't even get to hear it. At least I'm open about. I'm more transparent. Everything I talk about at work goes out on the air when I talk about friends making my car gay. I did have a girl the other day see my car and go, oh, that's so cute. I'm like, yeah, cute's not the word I like there. But it is a cool car. She goes, it's the coolest car I've ever seen. How do I get to be as cool as you? And I'm like, you have no idea who I am. You don't want this. You don't want this. This is not cool. The car might be. You can have the car here. And that's, you know. But Kevin is always saying stuff like, yeah, well, you know, you want to come on the show? Yeah, I'll come on, but maybe I shouldn't. I don't know. I got to talk about, like, all right, I get a brand liability. And then we're hanging around together and people see us together. And you can tell when somebody important comes by because Kevin kind of takes a few steps away. I don't blame him, but I'm his. Abella Danger. A Bella Danger, the porn star from Miami, cheering like crazy, goes to the school. And they put her on the television way too long.

[Brady]

Couple of times.

[John Holmberg]

The cameraman knew. No, it was. Well, the big one was the crucial moment in the fourth quarter. And she was on the screen for like 25 seconds. The cameraman knew, the director knew. And then every man watching went, hey, that's a Bella Danger. I've seen her with Johnny Sins and I've seen her work. And then the world laughed. The Internet caught it. She's apologizing.

[Brady]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

For being a Bella Danger. For B. She's like, I'm so sorry if it distracted from the school, my presence. And I want to apologize. I didn't ask ESPN to put me on, but they did. And she goes, I want to apologize for that. And I'm like, you don't have to apologize for that. So then I know how she feels. Because last night I text Kevin Ray during the game about Suns forward Jalen Green. And ironically, Scott Taylor from the toilet texts me, goes, hey, I just heard the shout out. So Kevin says, longtime listener, first time caller. John Holmberg has. Has chimed in and he said, my question, I asked, there's a Bella Danger. That's her right there on the screen. And yeah, every man goes, I know her mouth. And she's not allowed to be on tv, evidently. And she's like, I just wanted to apologize for taking away from.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I think I've watched anything with her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She said, I wish I could be any other student just supporting my team, but I can't. She says, I apologize for taking away from you. You didn't take away from anything, you little angel. You've done nothing.

[Brady]

But I didn't know who that was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady. Well, that's not surprising.

[Brady]

Now I do.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. See, that's who she is. There's some pictures that'll get you to know her. A Bella Danger is.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think I've watched anything really.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's everywhere, man.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm missing out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, you are. You really are. Yeah, she's been around a lot. That goddamn recognizable, immediate. Yeah. Katie Hopps kind of made it hard for us to get to it, but. Yeah. And then she's like the number one search on pornhub now. Because dudes. Yeah, you know what? That sounds good. Bella Danger sounds like a nice little before bed snack. So she's. Yeah, but she had to apologize just for being. That's how stupid our country Is. It's. Every man recognized her, like, eight. You don't get celebrities that you're recognizing where they put people on tv. And there's Alex Earl. Like, who the hell is that? Oh, she's an influencer. And she was on Dancing with the Stars. And half people are like, I don't know. That is a Bella Danger. That rang the bell. There were probably 60, 70% of dudes watching the college football championship. Well, hey, there's a Bella Danger. Or at least said, that chick looks just like a Bella Danger. And everybody will be. Not everybody's a porn perv. Yeah. All right, well, you just announced. You might as well have just typed, all right, I don't want to be friends. Like, okay, that's fair. Me neither. I'm gay. Some of us love our wives. What a stupid thing to say. Is she reading your phone right now? I understand. I'll. I'll. I'll wing you on that one.

[Brett Vesely]

I had to say that, bro.

[John Holmberg]

She was right there. She's right there. I get it. I get it, man. Looking at her in the car, can you believe this? I don't even know why we listen to him.

[Brady]

Yeah, normally.

[Brett Vesely]

Doug, it's under. I understand.

[John Holmberg]

I understand.

[Brett Vesely]

You couldn't.

[John Holmberg]

Normally, I'm not in the car.

[Brady]

This is terrible. I feel sorry for his family.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, me too. This is terrible. What's he saying? Abel. Abelidangor. You can say the words. No, I don't even know them. They're so pornographic. I don't even know. She's disgusting. She should apologize publicly for being alive. And she did. She said she was sorry for being at the game and wished she could just be a regular student, but because last night. Huh? Or the night before, she's not Brady. Her life makes it so she cannot be a regular student. She can't go on TV without the world starting to go, oh, I bet you half of the. The. The guys watching looked over at their girlfriends and wives on the couch like. Oh, like they got caught doing. They're going, oh, yeah, I don't really know her. Oh, yeah. This is. Okay. It's like she's. It's not my mistress. It's just I feed off to that.

[Brett Vesely]

A lot better questions. Why is she going to school looking like that? What, are you wasting your time for it?

[John Holmberg]

You make a good point. Like, I don't think school's that important to anybody anyway, especially her looking like that. Well, everybody I know went to school for one thing, and are now doing, like, real estate or something, which is Fine. But they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This said John, she does have to apologize. You have no idea how many married guys like me had to pretend they had no idea who she was. And they just kept putting her up there. That was the cameraman and the director, one of the dudes. Like, that's a Bella Danger. Yeah, she does.

[Brett Vesely]

No reason to go to school.

[John Holmberg]

Excellent job.

[Brett Vesely]

And she wasting your time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Her school is behind her, if you know what I mean. Like, that is her education that is going to pay for her life and get it done. Now she's 30. Only got a few years left before you know, people are going to tire of watching her do the things she's doing. Got to give it to a Bella Danger. She mixes up the hair. Blonde, brunette. She comes at you with all sorts of curveballs. It's good stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

No fastback.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing about her is a fastback.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, she's wasting her time. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And now she's going to Miami for like, political science. Hopefully she's going there for film school. She wants to direct.

[Brady]

Just build her clientele up.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, that's all she needs to do.

[John Holmberg]

There's the game and dudes. Yeah, every dude. And it's become this big thing. But there I was last night feeling exactly like it when K. Ray throws my name out. And I actually text a little friend group of with K. Ray in it. And I'm like, did you guys hear that? He admits he knows me. I felt like that. You know that side piece that. Don't worry about it, baby. It's all right. I got you. I just want you to acknowledge I exist. I got you. Am I important to you at all or is it all about our fun? Then he threw my name out there. And like, he admits it. K. Ray just admitted that we're friends on tv. Lee even said, a good friend. And he watches almost all the Suns game. First time caller along. He didn't say, you know, my job. Because then that would steer people. Like, if one person lives.

[Brady]

I put so much out there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. I like K. Ray and I want to know. Know his. What his friends are. And then he's listening to me talk about a Bella Danger. Kevin Ray's a pervert. And then everything goes sideways for him. I always. Because I've been a Suns fan pretty much my whole life. Think about Al McCoy having a friend like me. Somewhere along the lines Al McCoy. I dry humped Kevin at the Rah Rah room as a joke the other day when he bent over the side. We were Joking around. It's like. And he got really nervous because we're all just kind of dicking or. He's very fun. And I kind of grabbed him by the hips and did this thing. And, you know, he was telling a story, so I had to. He was a prop. And then you realize, oh, Kevin, just. And he's in his suit. He looks like a million bucks. And I dress like I'm 12. So it was very funny. So. But it was nice. It was a nice moment. But I am the Abella Danger. So for everybody watching the Suns beat the Sixers last night, realize that somehow or another my filthy name got involved in that, you know? But then it was even better.

[Brady]

They won't ever show you on tv. They'll mention your name.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, no. Well, if they showed me, they'd never say, you know what I did.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Jewish Heritage Night.

[John Holmberg]

Here is John. Like, what? I'm just waving. I'm not. But I'm okay. Shalom. But I'm not. I'm not. This is. I'm appropriating. If my nose is appropriating, it's not me. I have no faith in the. I'm not. Anyway, see you at the softball game this Saturday. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Caller/Guest]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Anyway, yeah. So Kevin. I want to thank Kevin Ray for that, but I always think of Al McCoy. I can't say a name. You're a pervert. Shazam. And Al was such a sweet man. The only couple times I met him, you could just sense the tenderness. He never was in a rah rah room setting with someone like me till the time that you were that cat. Oh, yeah. All right, I will. It's a great story. Shazam. This guy will stick his anything, and then he can't admit he knows him. And then Al was just the sweetest guy ever. That's Kevin. Kevin's a real pro, but he's a man.

[Brady]

I'll did for the year. Did the. For years. Did the post game show out right to the Boom Boom Room.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Hit the. They didn't have a rah rah room back there. He just went down to McDowell in 16th. Boom boom room just got alive. Mother McCoy's in. Shazam.

[Brady]

Got his table. Yeah, this mother.

[John Holmberg]

What's your name? I'm Seneca. What's your name? I'm Al McCoy and I'm going downtown. Yeah, he. Yeah, I think Kevin does. Kevin's every bit of the fun guy. And it's his fault. He does the testosterone replacement thing too. He's been. He and Frank Thomas have been yelling at me to. That my dick doesn't work for the last 14 years. I think he's been on there forever. I see Frank Thomas. Hey, it's Frank Thomas and that guy, and then Frank Thomas and Doug Flutie. Tell Kevin Ray. She'll like it too. It's like Irish Spring, only for your dick. It's not my fault. He's trying to get everybody hard and he's mad at me.

[Brett Vesely]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

He's the Abella Danger. I should be ashamed of Kevin. He's. He's got baseball legend Frank Thomas in the gym talking about dicks with him. I mean, that's more perverted than anything we do.

[Brady]

But it was.

[John Holmberg]

It was kind of neat. But, yeah, that a Bella Danger thing made me laugh because so many people got in fights. There she is. Oh, this is our friend David Vasquez meeting a Bella Danger. And she's in, like, a workout song.

[Brady]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

He looks scared.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, wait a minute. I think I might have met her.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

Hang on. I got. We go through my pictures. Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

You have an Abella Danger photo in your phone?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I think. I think. If I'm not mistaken, I think she was at the Dream palace at Ron Jeremy. You're not. Dream Palace. Castle Boutique. And I had to go there and do an appearance. Hang on. Let me find it.

[John Holmberg]

You were there. I didn't realize. Was this the. The year that Ron Jeremy. We couldn't find Ron Jeremy before.

[Brett Vesely]

Ron Jeremy, like, before. He really wigged out, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because he was supposed to come on the show. I gotta rephrase that. Supposed to be on the show, and he didn't show up. And we called this publicist. Well, we didn't know. We called this publicist. And they're like, he's not there. No, we sent him, like, well, he's not here. And then they couldn't get him in his room. And like, a day went by, and they called us the next day. Can you have him tomorrow? I'm like, you just found him. It's 18 hours later. And he didn't show up that day either. We had two days around Jeremy just wandering around. I wonder if that was the same time.

[Brett Vesely]

It could have been. I'll get a date.

[John Holmberg]

But that one. No, that. That was ages ago.

[Brady]

That was.

[Brett Vesely]

It was a long time ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but she's 30. This had to be.

[Brett Vesely]

It looks like the same outfit. Let Me see if I can find.

[John Holmberg]

It that you and David Vasquez handled her. She looks great in the picture.

[Brady]

He saw that outfit there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Ask Vasquez what year that is, because he looks like he's 13 or 14. I don't think you're supposed to be hugging on porn stars, then, Hey, I think I have that picture, too. And that's exactly what happened during the NCAA championship game the other night. Guys are like, hey, I recognize her.

[Brady]

Seems to be a disruption up there in the corner of the stadium. I don't know what's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Brett didn't recognize her on the screen for the Miami game, but when. Yeah, when she's in a song hugging on one of our listeners, he's like, wait a minute, now I recognize her. Anyway, you don't have to apologize for being who you are. Oh, I'm not Bella. Come on. It's pretty awesome. I could do the thing with the. Like, they could say Squidward was in the crowd, and I put it on me for a little while. My big ass nose would show. Did you find it?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I'm so curious now. If you've been. I know I'll find holding out on us.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, it's typical iPhone. You got like, 3,000 pictures and nobody ever files them. And, like.

[John Holmberg]

And then if you don't know the year.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You're just scrolling. Well, when you find your picture, is it you holding her like that, too? Did she do that with everyone?

[Brady]

Listen, Apple, no porn stars. When you.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, this guy says it was organized. 2017.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, there's one up there on Deer.

[John Holmberg]

Valley or whatever Dimitri Botone says. I met her in 2017. He broke his picture. He's got his phone. Yeah, I think it's. God damn it, where's my picture? Go to your 2017 and just scroll around in 2017. All right, I need. Well, just get on it, man. That had to be a KUPD event. It was. This guy's got a Boba Fett shirt on, and he's hugging a Bella Danger. Oh, and he's in a.

[Brett Vesely]

On the end.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. That's absolutely it. Brett, there you are with Bella Danger. Ron Jeremy. Is it her on the end? Absolutely. Who else is in there? And that's our girl Kesha.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Yep, Keisha. And then who else was with me?

[John Holmberg]

I don't even remember Ron Jeremy. You nerf beard, Drew. Yeah, some other.

[Brett Vesely]

Some other porn star.

[John Holmberg]

Annabella Dangers on the end, throwing her ass out. You were there. You know her?

[Brett Vesely]

When I saw the ass, I'M like, wait a minute.

[Brady]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

If only ESPN would have shot a different angle. Brett's like, hey, there's a Bella Danger. Well, there you go. Hey, I think I met her. Based on her butt crack. That is an impressive recognition skill. You know, they have face. They have software to recognize faces. You.

[Brett Vesely]

Screw you, AI.

[John Holmberg]

I got it. You will recognize a person by their ass.

[Brady]

Amazing.

[John Holmberg]

That is outstanding. Hey, I think I've been in a picture with her. Like, her eyes are up here, you son of a bitch. Anyway, she apologized, so for all you teetotalers and pearl clutchers, Abella said she's sorry. She exists, essentially. And she's a. She went to a game. She can't like football out loud and get caught on the crowd. She's a pretty lady.

[Brett Vesely]

Apology not accepted.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't want to hear it. I don't understand why that's a thing, but evidently there was. It's controversial. ESPN put out a thing that said that there were. Like, we didn't know we'd done. She wasn't performing porn. She's watching the game like everybody else.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, I wish she was.

[John Holmberg]

No, I hate college football. I just like the championship. You know, the playoffs are good, so I wouldn't mind a little aside there. Just a shame Brent Musburger wasn't there. You are looking live. Whoa, I beat off to that. I have a picture of that in my phone. And he spent the whole first quarter. I'll find it. I'll find it. You are looking live.

[Brady]

You would have been all over Mendoza's aunt.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Look at that family.

[John Holmberg]

Who was the girlfriend that he got in trouble for in Alabama?

[Brady]

Was. Was it mackerel or.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember. I remember who it was. It was. But he's the quarterback.

[Brady]

Yeah, for Alabama.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, I tell you, that enrollment at that school just went through the roof. He was way too into the girlfriend of the quarterback.

[Brett Vesely]

Vasquez says the other broad was Angela White.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't either.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't recognize. I'll look her up, though. Look her up from behind Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Jamie says, man, Brett gets cooler and cooler every day. It's true. I don't know who you are. Turn around, Angela. Oh, it's a fastback. I don't remember your name. Fastbacks don't get the recognition software. He's like a Terminator. He's got that eye. If you've got a fastback, it just says eliminate.

[Brett Vesely]

There she is.

[John Holmberg]

That's what's her name? Angela White.

[Brett Vesely]

Angela White.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Standing next to a Bella Danger. That ass can't do it. She's all cans.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this is nothing.

[Brady]

Here.

[Brett Vesely]

Right here. That's why I didn't recognize her.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know who that is. Eliminate. That's a Bella Danger. She starred in over 317 adult films. Got her whole bio right there. He's the Terminator of ass.

[Brady]

Bubble butt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know her.

[Brett Vesely]

Fast pack. Must destroy.

[John Holmberg]

Must destroy. The world is filled with fast packs and I'm here to get rid of all of them. Fastback Terminator. What is wrong with you? You. How did you. What did happen? When you're a child, did someone hit you in the ass with a shovel? You're flat back there. Your thighs become your back. You're not human. You must be destroyed. Eliminate. Anyway, gotta have a little bubble. Can't just have a little hole. A hole in the bottom of your spine that's like a bucket. Anyway, that's a different story altogether. If you are a porn star and you've got front row seats, you've earned it. I'm with Brett. Stop going to quit wasting your time at school, take all that porn money and give it to the University of Miami. And the football players are already doing that. Yeah. This is Ashel recognition. It's. It's the Ashel recognition system of Brett Vesely. Do you have trouble remembering people's faces? Me too. Hi, I'm Brett Vestley.

[Brady]

Grass Eye.

[John Holmberg]

I can't tell one face from the next. Asian, black, Mexican, they all look alike to me. But turn them around and suddenly I'm a phone book. I got names flying out of me like nobody's business. Hi, Brad. It's been so long. Who the hell is this? Braun, That's Kevin's wife. Nobody knows your name. Turn around. Hey, look, it's Theresa, everybody. Kevin's wife. What a skill you have.

[Brady]

Sorry, I didn't recognize you.

[John Holmberg]

What a skill you have. Yeah, there's recogn. There are ass recognition things. I have recognized people by their ass before they walk by, I'm like, oh, I know that. I know who that is. It's good stuff. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? In honor of Brett's new skill. That's impressive. You call us up 585-9800 and give us a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 Kup. Wake up Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.