01-21-26 - We Are Highly Amused By Trump In Switzerland Calling Greenland A Nice Piece Of Ice And All The Continued Absurdity

Summary

Episode Overview

Title: We Are Highly Amused By Trump In Switzerland Calling Greenland A Nice Piece Of Ice And All The Continued Absurdity
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona (98 KUPD)
Date: January 21, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

In this episode, the HMS crew dives into the absurdity and dark humor around Donald Trump’s recent speech in Davos, Switzerland, where he discussed the U.S. “acquisition” of Greenland. The hosts riff on U.S. history, real estate analogies, and the political circus, blending satire, banter, and social commentary. The crew acknowledges the comedic gold in Trump’s bravado, regardless of political views.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Smoke Alarm Innovations and "Country" Humor

[01:15 - 02:04]

• The hosts riff on a listener’s idea: swapping annoying smoke alarm chirps with hated country songs.
• John jokes, “Make it like a Billy Bass. Hillbillies would love it. I just burned the house down.”
• Brady would jump out of a burning house rather than hear another country warning song.

2. History of Land Acquisition and U.S. Expansion

[02:04 - 05:00]

• John draws parallels between the old practice of taking land by force and the current Greenland spectacle.
  • Cites Vikings, Genghis Khan, British colonization, and even the purchase of the U.S. Virgin Islands.
  • “We haven’t been in a world where we just go take stuff— that’s been a long time.” (John, 02:19)
  • Introduces Greenland as the latest “big one” attracting Trump’s fascination.
• Supposed U.S. negotiation styles: walk in, demand ownership, maybe offer cash, but force is always implied.

3. Trump’s Davos Speech Satirized

[04:31 - 07:20]

• Brady and John recount Trump calling Greenland “a big, beautiful piece of ice.”
  • “That’s one nice piece of ice.” (Brady quoting Trump, 04:31)
• Trump rules out military action, but stays passive aggressive:
  • “You can say yes, and we’ll be very appreciative. Or say no and we’ll remember.” (Brady quoting Trump, 04:49)
• Trump asserts WWII debt to justify demands:
  • “‘Without us, you’d all be speaking German or a little Japanese.’ That’s an exact quote.” (John, 05:26)
• Hosts lampoon Trump’s tendency to mix Iceland and Greenland, and his landlord mentality—"You need ownership to defend something."
• The team finds humor in how Trump leverages WWII nostalgia and American exceptionalism.

4. Absurdity Taken Further: Attacking Greenland

[07:50 - 09:28]

• Satirical escalation: Holmberg pretends to plot an invasion of Greenland daycare centers.
  • “We’re going to get a daycare center. Brett and I are coming in today to Kinder Care Tots Village...It’s ours now.” (Brady, 08:41)
• Imagining U.S. troops assigned to Greenland, the hosts mock the notion:
  • “If you’re in the military and we get it, you guys are heading there. That’s where you’re going to be stationed.” (Military Commentator, 09:05)
  • “If they don’t listen, shoot them.” (Brady, 09:16)
• They riff on stereotypes: small spears vs. modern firepower, driving out “little Greenlandian people.”

5. The Trump Comedy Factor: Beyond Politics

[10:02 - 11:00]

• Hosts agree Trump might be “the funniest president we’ve had,” regardless of intent.
  • “They basically said, he’s the funniest president we’ve had.” (Military Commentator, 10:10)
  • “No question.” (John, 10:10)
• The discussion turns meta; is Trump intentionally hilarious or unintentionally brilliant? The crew believes some jokes are deliberate, others are spontaneous.

6. John’s Perspective: Avoiding Outrage Culture

[11:00 - 11:56]

• John reflects on the value of laughter over outrage, channeling George Carlin’s cynicism:
  • “I’ve gone George Carlin on the whole thing. I’m not going to rile myself up over this stuff anymore.” (John, 11:14)
• He brushes off angry listener emails, insisting that embarrassment by politicians is universal and perpetual:
  • “That’s the worst part about me not picking a side that people hate. I was embarrassed by Biden and by Trump. I’ve never not been embarrassed.” (John, 11:41)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Greenland:
  • “That’s one nice piece of ice.” (Brady impersonating Trump, 04:31)
  • "You can say yes, and we’ll be very appreciative. Or say no and we’ll remember." (Brady quoting Trump, 04:49)
  • “Without us, you’d all be speaking German or a little Japanese.” (John quoting Trump, 05:26)
• On American invasions:
  • “We haven’t been in a world where we just go take stuff...that’s been a long time.” (John, 02:19)
  • “We’re going to get a daycare center. ...We want to live here. We got to protect ourselves from the other kinder places.” (Brady, 08:41)
• On Trump’s comedic value:
  • “He’s the funniest president we’ve had.” (Military Commentator, 10:10)
  • “He’s hilarious. I don’t know if he knows it, but I think he does.” (John, 10:20)
• On not sweating politics:
  • “I’ve gone George Carlin on the whole thing. I’m not going to rile myself up over this stuff anymore. I find it hysterical if we attack Greenland.” (John, 11:14)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:15] - Smoke alarm song banter
• [02:04] - Historical context for land acquisition (Vikings, U.S. expansions)
• [04:31] - Trump’s Greenland speech: “piece of ice” and WWII debt
• [07:50] - “Invading” Greenland parody
• [10:02] - Trump as America’s funniest president
• [11:00] - John’s philosophy: Laugh, don’t rage at politics

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Overall Tone and Takeaway

The episode thrives on irreverence and satire, using Trump’s Greenland speech as a springboard for comedic commentary on politics, American history, and outrage culture. The crew maintains a spirit of “laugh at the absurdity, don’t get mad,” encouraging listeners to share in the amusement and not take world events too seriously. Despite sharp wit and edgy jokes, the undercurrent is one of comedic observation, not political grandstanding.

Recommended for: Listeners who enjoy sharp banter, political satire, and finding humor in the spectacle of American politics.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean, really? Maybe in 2026 you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten.

[Brady]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

That was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly. Visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team, Schwartz Laser Eye Center, 480-483-Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons.

[Michael]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855- GUN RIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's Restore My Civil Rights.com youm thought that was funny.

[Ad Read Announcer]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? Wednesday morning we got Rock Horse coming off a little bit. Before we get to that, though, somebody suggested that all smoke alarms be equipped with this. That way not a soul wouldn't change. Them country music people singing to me to warn me that the house is on fire.

[Brady]

I'm jumping out of it.

[John Holmberg]

The chirp thing's just annoying. I would absolutely change that. Good idea. Make it like a Billy Bass. Hillbillies would love it. I just burned the house down. Great idea. I would definitely let it burn. But they should have songs we all hate inside of there. I think that's brilliant. Get rid of that chirping noise.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

You'd get up and just. You'd be on that ladder changing all.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Wouldn't you wouldn't let it go for a couple hours. That is getting. You're going to keep your 9 volts nearby. I'm also fascinated with what's going on in Davos. Trump's plane got a little delayed and all these super elite leaders of the world are meeting in Davos and it's, you know, big one for Greenland. And this Greenland things got me intrigued. I am fascinated by the idea because we have not been in a world where we just go take stuff that's been a long time. Like, they just walk up and like, this belongs to us now. Like, that used to be the way man worked, right? We used to just go in and say, either give it to us or else. And a lot of times the or else thing happened. And then borders got redrew and it started, didn't. It would. Like Greenland a lot of the time. Sometimes not so much. The olden days, they just show up like Vikings. They just showed up. Genghis Khan's dudes. They didn't start with an offer. They just showed up. We did it right here. Sorry, Indians. We just showed up. We didn't make many good offers. We weren't serious about any of our offers. We wandered over and. And the British, they did it to us. They colonized the United States, floated over here and then like, hey, we like it. This is nice. It's going to. Well, you're British now. And they just took it. So we haven't seen this. This is. This is not normal. Right. Occasionally far off in Europe, been a while. Well, for America, it's been since Hawaii. We just took it. Yeah, right. We've been other things. We've wandered over and taken the British and America. U.S. virgin Islands. The U.S. virgin Islands used to be the Danishes, and we just took them. I went over and offered them some cash, but they were like. They fought back and screwed. They're ours. Those are ours now. Through some sort of weird. They got screwed. I think they sold them to us for like $20 million. That you think of that. Like, there's houses on there now worth 20 million. Like, we bought the U. S. Virgin Islands from today. So Greenland is owned by Denmark. And they're upset. Trump. Trump gave a speech today. And you can hate Donald Trump all you want, please keep in mind, he's funny. He was there today in Davos talking about Greenland, but he's ruled out now that he's ever going to go in there and use force. He's not going to force him out with the military. He's no longer making that threat. But then he said, well, first off.

[Brady]

He kept calling it a big, beautiful piece of ice. That's one nice piece of ice. You know what I'm doing, Brad? Very Johnny Dangerously, very piece of ice. See what I'm doing? It's Johnny Dangerously and it's.

[John Holmberg]

And then he said, we're seeking immediate.

[Brady]

Negotiations to once again discuss the acquisition of Greenland. I don't want to use Force. I won't use force. Not going to use force. And you can say yes, and we'll be very appreciative. Or say no and we'll remember.

[John Holmberg]

He's still kind of leaving him on that idea that maybe I'm not going.

[Brady]

To kill everyone in Greenland, but a lot of you. A lot of you will remember.

[John Holmberg]

And then he said something about. He brought up World War II.

[Brady]

Did you realize, though, you owe us?

[John Holmberg]

He's doing this to the leaders of the world. These are quotes.

[Brady]

Without us, you'd all be speaking German or a little Japanese.

[John Holmberg]

That's an exact quote.

[Brady]

And you know, Denmark, they got overrun by the Germans in World War II. Six hours the Germans had him. I mean, we had to intervene at a great cost and expense. And all we're asking for is that piece of ice.

[John Holmberg]

Then he said that you can't defend it. A lease. He's a former landlord. It's what he built his world on.

[Brady]

You need ownership to defend something you can't defend at least. Who's going to defend at least? Who the hell wants to defend at least? I'm not doing that.

[John Holmberg]

But he is.

[Brady]

Evidently.

[John Holmberg]

He kept saying Iceland too.

[Brady]

And because of Iceland, the stock price is dry.

[Ad Read Announcer]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

He. You know, we were on Biden. Pretty good for some goofs. This. He's. He's running a little hot right now. And then he played that passive aggressive card.

[Brady]

We give so much, we get so little in return. And if you guys want, you can speak German. We're here for you. But me, I would like Greenland. A piece of ice. I love a little piece of ice up north, but a little cold one. Eskimo girls. No one does it. The beach boys were right, those Eskimo girls. Oh, I say, I think that's one of the lines I don't remember, but.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure the sneaky little bastards.

[Brady]

Sneaky, tiny little Johnny Dangerous. Brought it back again all the way around. 1. An underrated movie. And I'll tell you right now, if we get Greenland, we'll put Johnny Dangerously in every theater for all the Greenland and Inuit little Eskimo people. It's either that or Holmberg's plan. And the next thing you know, you're all hearing that in Greenland all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I found it hysterical that he reminded them that without us 80 years ago, you'd be speaking clankety, clankety. Or maybe some Japanese. And then he said the best part of his speech.

[Brady]

I want Europe to go to do great. I want uk. I want Them to be great. They were sitting on one of the world's biggest energy sources in the world and they don't even know it. And there's windmills all over Europe and windmills. They're losers. He's Don Quixote.

[John Holmberg]

Now, if you could all see what I see, that he's hilarious. Whether you like him or not, God, your life would be better. You wouldn't be all jazzed up about everything you read or. You know, the worst part is you start to joke with people and you'll.

[Brady]

Say something like, I'm gonna steal Greenland and kill all the little Greenlandians I see. I hate every Greenlander from Greenland a to Greenland Z.

[John Holmberg]

And then somebody will go, well, if we don't take Greenland to the Russians, I'm like, oh, I was kidding.

[Brady]

I was kidding. Gonna kill all the Greenlandians.

[John Holmberg]

They should shape up over there. So I can't do. Oh, everybody's lost their sense of humor. It's not fun anymore. And if we did attack Greenland, I know the humanitarian toll would be bad, but sort of hilarious. For no reason at all. These people up there that are just flipping fish in a boat like chilly willy and then we show up and move. We just get them out of there. Greenland has me fascinated because, boy, you couldn't pick on a weaker target.

[Brady]

Going to go in and we're going to get a daycare center. We're going to take them by force. Brett and I are coming in today to kinder care tots village and we're just going to walk in and we're.

[John Holmberg]

Going to move in.

[Brady]

It's ours now. We want to live here. We got to protect ourselves from the other kinder places. Woody Allen, I understand if you. If it wasn't for us, Woody Allen would be here all the time. Jeffrey Epstein, how bummed out you'd be.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

If you're in the military and you're like you. You guys are. If we get it, you guys are heading there. That's where you're going to be. Stay.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to be in Greenland. Well, how about that? Go kill them.

[Brady]

If they don't listen, shoot them.

[John Holmberg]

But they're little.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

They.

[John Holmberg]

All they have is little, like fishing spears.

[Brady]

Don't care. Shoot all the little Greenlandian people. They're troll people.

[John Holmberg]

I was waiting for him to announce the hellcats are coming.

[Brady]

We're going to drive them up there. We'll start a dodge dealership. That'll be the first sign. Once you see that move in, you know they're coming. And those little Danish, they don't like it. I watched Austin Powers. I saw Goldfinger. Remember Gold member? He was from Denmark. That weird little sh. When they talk. I don't like it.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, it's very funny to remind people that if it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking Japanese in Greenland. Like we've allowed that. Like the Japanese. Like nobody's ever fought for Greenland before.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

Just give it to people but forget what news publication. But they basically said, he's the funniest president we've had.

[John Holmberg]

No question.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

And they're. And they based it upon speeches. He goes, in most of his speeches, there are at least, oh, seven to ten jokes or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

He's hilarious. I don't know if he knows it, but I think he does in a lot of. In a lot of ways. He does. Yeah, I'm. Some of it just spits out, but I think some of it is just definitely planned.

[Brady]

And does he sit in a room.

[John Holmberg]

With a guy before his speech and.

[Brady]

I'm going to tell him that they'd have been speaking Japanese without us and.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody'S going to be like, I wouldn't do that.

[Brady]

No, I'm going to do it. That's a good line.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's got writers with him too.

[Brady]

It took six hours for you guys to get conquered.

[John Holmberg]

You're weak.

[Brady]

He's got to write, what a piece of ice.

[John Holmberg]

And you know, he stops and looks around.

[Brady]

Nicknames and great Fargo Ice we have up there. I love that ice. Journey dangerously. I live my life off of it.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, so he just gave that speech and I was reading about it and I started to giggle and I'm like, this is what I like about my life is that I'm not gonna be mad about this. I know. I'm gonna get emails. You can't possibly be. Stop it. I don't. Here's the thing about me. And you can be mad about it all you want. I don't care. I don't care if Greenland goes down or not. I don't care. Do I like that it's happening? No, but what am I gonna do? I've gone George Carlin on the whole thing. I'm like, I'm not going to rile myself up over this stuff anymore. I find it hysterical if we attack Greenland. Like you were talking to your sister and brother in law and they're. They're fired up.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't seem fun to me.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

It's embarrassing for the country.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is a little bit. But when wasn't it. That's the worst part about me not picking a side that people hate. I was embarrassed by Biden and by Trump. I've never not been embarrassed. Yeah, I think that comes from I.

[Military/Military Expert or Commentator]

Basically told him, really?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, my face every morning I look in the mirror, I'm like, well, this is what I got. So I gotta deal with embarrassment every day. I'm good at it. So if somebody else is embarrassed, like, well, I can live with that. I know how to get around an embarrassing thing. I live with one. It's on my neck. Anyway, we got Rock Horse coming up a little bit. I believe that I am the one picking this week. Or no, Brady is. It is Brady. It is you that's Brady's picking. We'll get a topic from Brady in just moments. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

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