01-22-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: January 22, 2025 Episode Summary

Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: January 22, 2025
Duration: Approximately 2 hours

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1. Introduction and Comedy Show Promotions (00:00 - 00:28)

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg and Brady Bogan highlighting upcoming comedy events in the Arizona Valley. They provide details on various improv shows featuring comedians like Paul Versey, Beth Stelling, Sarah Weinschenk, Joe DeRosa, and Lil Rel, directing listeners to respective websites for tickets.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (00:00): "HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week."

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2. Immigration Raids Discussion (00:30 - 25:00)

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a heated discussion on immigration raids conducted by ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement). Brady Bogan leads the conversation, expressing controversial opinions on legal versus illegal immigration, the effectiveness of raids, and the impact of family separations.

Key Points:

• Support for Legal Immigration: Brady emphasizes his support for legal immigration while expressing disdain for illegal immigration.
• Effectiveness and Consequences of Raids: He debates the practicality and humanity of raids, questioning the logic behind separating families solely based on immigration status.
• Personal Anecdotes and Hypotheticals: The hosts share hypothetical scenarios and personal experiences to illustrate their points, often veering into provocative and insensitive territory.
• Critique of Media and Public Perception: There's criticism of how media portrays raids and the normalization of such actions in reality TV and news.

Notable Quotes:

Brady Bogan (04:28): "I think AI makes everything. We'll never hear anything from today. We'll just be in our pods doing all the bitcoin mining for our leaders with our body energy."

Brady Bogan (08:37): "What they're saying might happen is something I'm very interested in. I've never been more interested in what they're saying might happen."

Brady Bogan (12:31): "Went on like a crazy amount of charges. So my point being people who run because they've got a warrant go crazy like they do not want to go back."

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3. Vince's Personal Story and Listener Interaction (25:00 - 60:00)

The hosts shift focus to listener interactions, particularly addressing an email from a listener named Vince. Vince shares his turmoil over his wife’s possible infidelity and paternity of their child. The hosts engage in a darkly humorous and insensitive conversation about Vince’s predicament, navigating through themes of responsibility, betrayal, and personal blame.

Key Points:

• Vince’s Dilemma: Vince is uncertain whether his child is biologically his, leading to emotional and marital strain.
• Hosts' Reactions: The hosts use this scenario to discuss broader themes of trust, legal responsibilities, and personal accountability, often resorting to flippant and mocking tones.
• Advice and Mockery: Instead of offering genuine support, the conversation devolves into teasing and sarcastic suggestions on how Vince should handle the situation.

Notable Quotes:

Brady Bogan (35:02): "I can't imagine cutting it. You gotta do the DNA specialist downstairs."

Brady Bogan (49:57): "I'm so sorry for you, buddy, but why you came to us, I don't know."

Brady Bogan (54:36): "It doesn't seem like that's gonna be a feasible thing to continue."

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4. Bigfoot Hunting and Related Anecdotes (60:00 - 100:00)

The conversation transitions to the topic of Bigfoot hunting, blending humor with skepticism. The hosts discuss the myths surrounding Bigfoot, share personal opinions on the feasibility of hunting the elusive creature, and recount exaggerated tales of encounters and dangers associated with such pursuits.

Key Points:

• Skepticism Towards Bigfoot: The hosts express doubt about Bigfoot's existence, using it as a metaphor for chasing unattainable goals.
• Humorous Hypotheticals: They imagine scenarios where they would engage in Bigfoot hunts, highlighting the absurdity and potential risks.
• Safety Concerns: Emphasis on the dangers of wilderness excursions and the folly of wasting resources on mythical hunts.

Notable Quotes:

Brady Bogan (73:07): "Brady and I walk in together and he's like we'll get one. Nope."

Brady Bogan (78:00): "You just got to keep those. You work hard for that. But also know that if you want to keep them in the car, you can't roll the window all the way down and have them running free in the car."

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5. Attraction Debate and Rock Wars Competition (100:00 - 165:00)

A recurring segment titled "Rock Wars" involves the hosts competing to choose songs that would make them more attractive in a hypothetical room filled with a thousand individuals. This segment is saturated with self-deprecation, humor, and exaggerated claims about their own lack of attractiveness.

Key Points:

• Self-Deprecation: Hosts humorously comment on their own perceived unattractiveness and lack of charisma.
• Competitive Banter: Engaging in a friendly (yet mocking) competition to see who can choose the most appealing song.
• Listener Engagement: They involve listener feedback and votes to determine the winner of the Rock Wars segment.

Notable Quotes:

Brady Bogan (100:57): "It doesn't matter what song's playing. So I. I'd say in the gay bar, that song would actually sort of offend them."

Brady Bogan (145:27): "Because we're also. And this is more of like a scientific. I don't know if that's true. This is why he wins."

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6. News and Trivia Segment (165:00 - End)

The hosts conclude with a mix of absurd news stories, trivia about movies and TV shows, and humorous takes on current events. This segment serves as lighter content after the intense discussions earlier in the episode.

Key Points:

• Odd News Stories: Sharing bizarre incidents such as monkeys attacking in Starbucks and unique mishaps in sports and entertainment.
• Movie and TV Trivia: Discussing favorite films, biopics, and TV show ratings with a comedic twist.
• Listener Interactions: Continuing the banter with listener-submitted stories and humorous reflections on pop culture.

Notable Quotes:

Brady Bogan (167:45): "That is true. Brady's age group, that, that is a pretty sad batch of who's attracted to who."

Brady Bogan (168:42): "Because I was just kidding. It's a landslide."

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7. Conclusion and Final Remarks

The episode wraps up with final thoughts on the Rock Wars competition, acknowledgments of sponsorships, and humorous reflections on the episode's discussions. The hosts maintain their playful and irreverent tone until the very end.

Notable Quote:

Brady Bogan (170:00): "Thank you, Donovan. All right, that's your Brady report. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station."

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Overall Insights and Themes

• Controversial Opinions: The hosts often present and debate provocative views, especially concerning immigration and societal issues, which may alienate or offend some listeners.
• Humor and Irreverence: A consistent use of humor, sarcasm, and self-deprecation characterizes the episode, aiming to entertain through edgy and boundary-pushing dialogue.
• Listener Engagement: Active interaction with listeners through emails, texts, and voting segments fosters a sense of community and participation.
• Skepticism and Cynicism: A skeptical outlook towards societal norms, media portrayals, and cultural phenomena like Bigfoot and immigration policies underscores much of the discourse.

Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" blends sharp humor with contentious discussions, delivering entertainment through unabashedly frank and often controversial conversations. The hosts leverage their platform to discuss topical issues, engage with listeners, and maintain a lively, provocative atmosphere throughout the show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week.

[Brady Bogan]

Get out to the Tempe Improv on.

[John Holmberg]

The east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa.

[Brady Bogan]

On Friday and Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

And downtown at Stand Up Live, check.

[Brady Bogan]

Out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups.

[John Holmberg]

And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com.

[Brady Bogan]

And tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too, and you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And and all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core Institute.com college hoops are here.

[Toledo]

And there's no better place to catch.

[Brady Bogan]

The action than Hooters. Fuel up with the baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat.

[Toledo]

The Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzz balls for a low price.

[Brady Bogan]

This offer is for game days only.

[Toledo]

So grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you Hooters.

[Brady Bogan]

The original wing joint since 1983.

[Brett]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne.

[Brady Bogan]

Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing. Kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year.

[John Holmberg]

Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps.

[Brady Bogan]

The air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Brett]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Brady Bogan]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco.

[Brett]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco, Double A, mco, Trans Transmissions.

[Brady Bogan]

And a whole lot more.

[Brett]

You thought that was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? That's a lot of cock. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. This is the Morning Sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Toledo. Off we go for this glorious start today. Brett and I were just talking, played Godsmack before that, the Ramones. And both listening to the recording said to ourselves, you said it out loud. I was thinking, man, this thing sounds like garbage. It's a bad recording. And then looked on the screen because our screen tells us all that stuff. Says 1976, 49 years ago. I always do that weird little math equation when I think, man, that's old. I back down 49 years from that time. It was 1927. And so could you imagine in 1976 turning on the rock station, going all right, all the way back from 27, it's the cherry Pickers with hey there maddy daddy caddy. 49 years. The song still holds up. So whatever happened from 1927 to 1976. So much more consequential than 76 to now. @ least with music that we can actually go back and listen to stuff from 1976 and have it fly right in. And it sounded bad. Oh yeah. But again, the recording of 1927 and 1976 would have been wildly noticeable compared to what we noticed on a 49 year old recording that we could probably fix up. Anyway. Still a cool song and I don't know why it's dumb, but that's a good one right there. Just so I just, I. I always laugh that when we go back and listen to Led Zeppelin and realize that the time has passed, my grandpa was like four. If the. If the same time amount has gone from before and the music was all those weird. It's just hilarious. Yeah, I look back at like things 25 years ago and then you jump back 25 more and you're in 1975. It's like, what the hell? I hate my brain for doing that.

[Toledo]

How will it hold up right now, the current music, 49 years in the future?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't know. Well there. I don't think there's going to be 49 years in the future. I think music goes away. I think we just all. I think AI makes Everything. We'll never hear anything from today. I won't allow it. And we'll just be in our pods doing all the bitcoin mining for our leaders with our body energy. I don't know what's going to happen. It just feels funny. I will say I am. I'm fully invested again in, like, the. The absurdity of how the world's coming to an end for some people and how it's the greatest time of. Of ever for other people. Every time I turn the TV on, I'm either watching somebody tell me that it's all over, or somebody tell me that it's the best time that has ever happened and I'm somewhere in between. I happen to think I may have some logic in this, or I think maybe it's going to be pretty good and pretty bad. Both things could be true at once. But I will tell you this. I've never been more interested in what they're saying might happen. And I don't know how real this actually is, but if it starts happening again, I'm here as an observer. I've told you several times, if the end of the world happens, I want it to happen while I'm alive. I'd love to see that. I don't want to live like my grandfather did from 1918 to 2005 and not even get to see a White Sox world championship in his lifetime. I'd like to see the end credits roll, sitting on top of Papago with Brett and a couple of beers and a bike, and the two of us are up there going, well, how about this Four horsemen? Let's just sit back and enjoy. I want that to happen. So I'm here to observe and enjoy. What they're saying might happen is something I'm very interested in. I'm understanding that there's certain people that think, and maybe it's true, there are going to be, like, massive ice SWAT teams just rolling up to buildings and swiping folks out of them in big raids and stuff. I am, I got to tell you, I am part of the border for this. I am all for this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

Not because of the border, not because of that. I just the. The insanity of what that would do to the office. When you see, like, that one, you don't know, like, downstairs, suddenly Jennifer down in sales gets up and runs out the back door. Like, what? You know she's Haitian. Oh, we didn't know. She's got to run it. Like, you don't know. I won't be surprised when, like the nine Chris Valenzuela's I hired to work in my kitchen get nervous when dudes and, you know, helmets and, you know, stun guns come into a restaurant. But I will laugh if they pull up to our building, which I'm rooting for, and Ed has to run because he's a German operative and we don't even know, like, you know, we don't know who's legal, who's not blown away.

[John Holmberg]

And you learn to cook. If they come after the Chris Valens will. There's not going to be a restaurant in the Valley open.

[Brady Bogan]

Look, I've said it before, I'll say it again. I'm for legal immigration. I'm for it. I'm also, when my lawn gets too along for illegal immigration, somebody's got to do that stuff, and it isn't me. But I. Yeah, I. I don't know that it's going to happen as horrifically SS Nazi blitzkrieg style as they're saying. Gestapo type stuff is what I was watching last night. Because half the country thinks it's just great. They're gonna come in, they're gonna march in, they're gonna throw some cuffs on some guys and say, you're one of the baddies. We're getting you out of here. You're not supposed to be here anyway. And then the other, the other side thinks it's just gonna be all out raids and smoke bombs and foggers. And I'm like, I'm. Either way, I'm signed. Like, being one of those people, that's just fine. All this, to me is a show like this. I know it's terrible, it's humanity, but it's like reality TV has, has numbed me to any of this stuff being real. And I want to hear your political views and my emails. John, you have to understand, like, separated from their families. I'm like, okay, I will argue back that every time somebody breaks the law and gets caught, they're separated from their families. You get caught with a bunch of meth, you're separated from your family, like every. Well, what about the chance they'll never come back? Right? The crime is if you're running from the police, when you just see them, you probably understand you're about to be separated from your family. Like, I understand that, like, if I have.

[Toledo]

Well, we could solve that thing by just building a gigantic family jail.

[Brady Bogan]

We want it. The whole family wants to get together. I don't understand that pressure, and I'm not pretending it is good. I don't know. I don't know what it's like to be illegally in a country. I don't know what that's like. I don't know what it's like to do illegal things and be wanted. I watch a lot of OP live. People who are wanted do desperate, weird stuff. And it's just usually like a. Like a drug infraction. Like, they have a, you know, a history. Like, I got caught with weed and I didn't show up to my court case, and they get pulled over by, you know, the folks in Daytona. You got any warrants, man? No, no, I'm good. I'm good, I'm good. And then the cop walks away. And just here they take off like, we got a high speed chase, goes the hellcat.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

What are we doing? I got to get in the car. I got to chase you. I watched a body cam show last night. I love that show. And it's because it's the perspective of, like, being strapped in a Bjorn to a cop.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, you're just kind of in the middle of their chest. And so they walk up this. This girl cop goes up to this car and she sees that it's running, and she's like, this is in a Holiday Inn. She goes, it's just been running for like five minutes. It's. Dude inside of it looks like he's dead or something. So she kind of sneaks in. She goes, oh, okay. He's asleep. And I can smell weed pouring out of this thing with the windows up. She said, I gotta call for backup. He's a pretty big dude. And he. She did kind of admit that she's a girl cop and she can't do her job properly. And I didn't want to say anything to the tv, but I kind of thought it because they want to say it out loud. She goes, as a female, I noticed he was a male, and if it would have gotten out of hand, I needed backup for that. Like, don't say that. Just say, eh. Didn't want to take my chances one on one. You don't do that. Because basically what she was saying was, I'm too weak for this job. And so I needed a fellow to show up and help me out. All right, don't do that. So she calls a guy who's on his first day by himself.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wonderful.

[Brady Bogan]

Former firefighter who switched out. I'm gonna be a cop. This is the first day he was transitioned. He trans. He transed over. We should all celebrate this. His pronouns are now Police officer now or police person, not fireperson. So he shows up and then they kind of walk up to the car. Dude hits him with a flashlight. Guy inside wakes up immediately, and he's in Brett's favorite clothes. Like, it's full on matching tracksuit, top to bottom. Dude is. So he's in there and he's acting a little weird. They get both doors open and she goes, you all right? And he goes, yeah, yeah. So he gets out of the car for a second. She goes, got any weapons? Or. He goes, no, I'm just, you know. You staying in this place? Yeah. He goes, what's your room? He goes, I ain't staying here. So they all this lies and like, weird little bounce backs. And so she goes, all right, I'm gonna ask you to step out. And he opens the back. It's a four door pickup truck. Opens the back door and blocks her and then gets back in the driver's seat and takes off. Well, the first day, cops on the passenger side. He hops in the passenger side, right? This dude backs into a trailer, tears the door off of the passenger side. He's hanging on for dear life over there. The first girl cop thought that the dude got killed when he got smashed into the side of this trailer. And so truck takes off and you see first day, guy fall out and then get run over by the back tires, right? And this whole thing at three days, they chase him down to Tennessee. It's like forever. And why'd he run? He had a warrant for a drug possession charge. He ran a dude over. So those people will, out of the first day, do you know, retired the next day he did, he went to the hospital, had his cracked his spine, broke a bunch of ribs, lacerated his liver, which was he just laying in the middle of the parking lot going, oh, God damn. That's all he kept doing because, I mean, his liver had been sliced open and that. If you've ever been punched in the liver, you'll piss blood for a week. I can't imagine cutting it. So he retired the next day. He's alive, though.

[John Holmberg]

That boy's got attempted murder on there.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah, well, yeah, it was. Went on like a, like just crazy amount of charges. So my point being people who run because they've got a warrant go crazy like they do not want to go back. So I kind of am for like the show because I'm fine. And I know that's not fair, but I kind of think we all live our lives to a certain degree of how's this working out for me? I'm gonna be okay during the raids. Do I like the raids? On paper, yes. In reality, probably not so much. But if they showed up here and I got my fingers crossed and Mahoney just took off running across the parking lot, I'd crap my pants. I mean, Mahoney is illegal.

[John Holmberg]

Bring me some popcorn.

[Brady Bogan]

I gotta watch this. Or he's got something.

[Toledo]

His hair falls off.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not so bad. It's just one of those deals where you're like, it will reveal so much, like, all these secrets. And, you know, to me, that's the best part of living. Like, did you know about Jennifer and Ray Haitians? She cooks dogs. Like, we don't know when they start making stuff up about her. And that the second they show up, the people who run are the ones they were after. You know, that nobody's gonna stand there and just, you know, all right, that's me. You got me. Like, they're not gonna stick around. So I don't. I don't truly believe that's going to happen.

[Toledo]

I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

I did enjoy the fan fiction that I was watching on the news last night of how it's probably going to happen in some people's minds. And again, if you're running a facility where you're worried that, you know, armed people will come in and SWAT trucks and mop up half of your employer.

[Toledo]

Because I'm illegal, I'm doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

And again, that whole separation from family thing doesn't make sense to me. If you. If you're. If you know you're going to get separated from your family, I know it's tough, but, you know, everybody breaking the law separates from their family. Everybody. There isn't a person at all who's like, can I bring my family along? I've got a drug warrant, and I would like to have my children there with it. Now you're getting separated from me. We're going to put you away for.

[John Holmberg]

A little bit now. I kind of do want to see.

[Brady Bogan]

I swear to God. And you know why I know that we all really, deep down want to watch that? Because count how many people. When you say. Remember when Ari Shafir the comedian did the amazing racist, and he picked up all those illegals and he said he was going to take them to a job site and he drove them to ice and they flip. They flipped out and scattered and just ran. And what did we do? Do another. Like, we liked it. We like watching raids on tv and the news knows it. Movies if there's a raid, it's the coolest part of the movie. We like raids. We, in fact, love raids. But personally, I think here we should be rated for a lack of diversity. We don't hire anything but crackers. Like, the whole place is just. We've got two Marcus downstairs who is of color, and Jennifer.

[John Holmberg]

The pronouns count.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, we got a lot of gays.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I mean.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but you can't spot. Well, you can, but you can't. Like, you can't for certain say, like, you can look around and go, that guy's kind of gay, and then he's got a girlfriend. You're surprised. You can't look at a. Like, a person of color and say maybe. You're pretty sure right away. Visually, we don't have anything. A Rudy. I guess he's something Mexican.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Shannon.

[Brady Bogan]

Shannon hardly counts. He looks like Dave grohl got shrunk. Yeah, I don't think anything else.

[John Holmberg]

Fitz does, too, but he doesn't look at.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on. Fitz is whiter than all of us. No, no Mexican, true to his heritage, will go to a McDonald's and ask if they have foie gras. Fitz has been indoctrinated into the cracker culture. Anyway, I'm for it. I'm for it. I don't like that it's happening, but I am for watching it. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite. I think there's nuance to all of it. But one thing about me is I really do kind of like the idea of raids. I think they're fun looking. I think I would like to be in a building that has one. It sounds neat.

[Toledo]

We've had some famous raids since we've been on the air. I mean, you know, going to wrong places.

[Brady Bogan]

What do you mean?

[Toledo]

Taking the back of the day, when sheriff Joe and the boys got the wrong house, they went there with the riot tank.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't remember that they went into that wrong house. Yeah, I remember cops going in the wrong house. I remember sheriff Joe tank in one. Did he? That's pretty neat.

[Toledo]

Think so?

[Brady Bogan]

But again, I like it. Well, that's a. That's a terrible raid, Brady. I don't want that to happen to anybody. But I do like raids, and I like a successful raid. You know, they always brag about it. On t. A raid was conducted in Tucson, mostly in Tucson and Tucson today. And 4 billion pounds of fentanyl were found. Nobody ever complains. Those guys are getting separated from their family.

[John Holmberg]

That's gonna go two blocks down over the border. It's fine.

[Brady Bogan]

Cool. Ray.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Just throw it back over the wall. It's yours again. I like raids. I'm. I honestly don't think they're going to occur, but I like them. I'd like to watch one. I'd like to be somewhere in the neighborhood. You can't go through here. Like, why raid? If you were in a police ride along, you're part of a raid. Yeah, I'd be like, if you're in a police ride along, they're gonna do a raid today. You'd be like, this is, like, a great day. This is why I signed up. You wouldn't go. I wouldn't dare. Like, you're doing it. I would do it, too. Raids are great. That was fun. And if you're doing something wrong and the cops show up and you start running, you kind of only got yourself to blame, really. Now, I'm not for dreamers getting thrown in the back of cars, but they're not throwing dreamers in yet. Someday when we catch up. But right now, it's just, like, you know, gaggles of places that are doing it. And I know what everybody's gonna say, your lettuce is gonna cost seven or $800 a head. Well, Brady and I aren't eating a whole lot of lettuce, so don't worry about that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady's okay with this.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady's gonna be just fine.

[Toledo]

Throw most of it away.

[John Holmberg]

Broccoli and lettuce. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady picks more lettuce than a Mexican because he peels it off of every burger that's ever come his way. Yuck. Yuck. And he throws it in a bucket just like they do. Get this green garbage off my food. What am I, a rabbit? This one says, how does Jennifer look? She need a green card? How about Marcus, too? I don't discriminate. Donovan. Yeah, they don't. I don't know. That's the whole point of the raid. I think they're. I think everybody's here legally. I don't know that. Trip checks that. Are you legal? I've never heard him ask that.

[John Holmberg]

Papers, please.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we'd like to see some documentation that. Look, I don't want to get raided. The raid's here. Tripping. I would be looking at the wind. Passing popcorn back watching this John. Raid kills bugs dead. Yeah. I don't know, Ed.

[John Holmberg]

Being a German operative, you don't know?

[Brady Bogan]

Ed just freaks out and starts running.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one. I can see the most.

[Toledo]

Me, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, Ed's up to no good. Like, he's a spy for something. You can't get arrested for being a Clear Channel spy, Ed. It's not a thing.

[Toledo]

Like, what was this show? The Americans. Russian, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Like, he's like, you don't know. And he's here to, like, garner information and get. And at night, he comes in and no one pays attention to kdos, and he sends signals back to Moscow about what's going. Like, we don't know. No one would know if anybody was at Katy west spying for the Russians or something.

[John Holmberg]

No, during the day, we don't know it.

[Brady Bogan]

I have not been down the hall. That's like 25ft from my office to go to KDOS for two years. Ever. I never go to. When's the last time you were down there? I was lost.

[Toledo]

Well, now the studios, the right studios. I kept walking in the wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't need to go down there. It's no reason. Like, you walk by our sports station, you're like, that's still a thing. And they're trying. But come on. I mean, if Ed was here at night sending out signals to Vlad, and the rage shows up, and I didn't know Ed. I didn't even know if his. Like, if Ed started running, I'd laugh. I think if Ed just ran, I'd laugh. Our sales guy. Everybody's got a sales guy at their office that if he ran, it would look like a baby chasing a balloon. I think Ed's one of those.

[Toledo]

He's got an overnight show on the am and it's just throwing code out.

[Brady Bogan]

There when no one would know. And the only people listening would be the guys picking up the code because they're like, this is the safest place to hide transmissions at kdus, nobody hears it.

[Toledo]

Every third word.

[Brady Bogan]

It is the literal radio tree in the forest. It has fallen a million times, and not a single person's ever heard it.

[John Holmberg]

The chair is against the wall.

[Brady Bogan]

What the hell? Let's talk about the Cardinals draft. Let's. The mock draft. The monkey will lie down with the elephant. What does that mean? Who they drafted anyway? It's just the absurdity of everything is just. That's my nature, to gravitate towards absurdities that I have to kind of think each side is overblowing their side to the point of being insane. And somewhere in the middle lies the actual fact. And probably some awkward raids, probably some really good raids. But either way, if I'm not close to a raid in the Next month or so, with all this fear and stuff, I'm getting pumped at me about raids. I'm gonna be disappointed. Like, what I would love is the best case scenario is right out this window of the studio. We look at a place called lge, and they are a design company. You see their signs all over the place. They're architects. I personally think they kind of build the same building over and over, but that's just, you know, what are you gonna do? They got it down. They got. They're like the Mike Brady of. They got a really nice system, and their stuff looks good, but I see they're not like that Looks a lot like the. Their own home, but it's a similar product. It works. I would love it if a big armored truck pulled up there and just LGE employees scattered all over the place. I think that from our vantage point, that would be incredible. Incredible. That way, it kind of avoids. And then here you're like, what are they doing at lge? And I'm like, I don't know. Edit, you should run. Well, why would I run, friend? You won't catch me. Ed, running would be worth it. Oh, man, I almost want to throw firecrackers at him.

[John Holmberg]

Can we call anyway? Let's just.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's see. Yeah, you know what? Hey, Ice, I'm pretty sure we got one. This one here? No, no, that's Jennifer. She should. Why? She ran, too. God damn it. No, this one I want to see him run. I think it'll be hilarious. You just realize that Ed is just a sprinter. He gets away, shoots out into the path, and goes. And we never hear from or see him again. Everybody's got that office guy that you think, man, if he started running, I might laugh. Ed's my guy. Dave Hart running might be funny, too. And I'll tell you right now, I run pretty funny now. I've run a couple of times recently. I mean, go to a full sprint, which I haven't done in a long time. It's kind of hilarious. I tried to jog up a hill the other day, and I can jog okay. Still feel a little bit thick in the feet because I don't run a lot. And then I went into, like, let's see if we can pull this sprint off. Oh, it's not pretty. There's a lot of thumping. It looked like a Frankenstein's first day. He just took the boots and took it up a hill. So a lot going on in the world. The raid thing, I'm frankly. I'm kind of excited about. So if you're not a raid fan, I get it. But still, somebody's got to try to explain to me this whole take your family away thing. I don't know why that only applies to illegal immigrants. It's the argument I've made a billion times. I'm like, how come we don't do that every time someone gets arrested? Why is it only bad to take them away from there because we're not doing anything wrong. I'm like, yeah, kind of not true. I mean, maybe they didn't do anything really bad, but maybe they did.

[Toledo]

Well, they don't, you know, hesitate. Like, when a parents are doing something wrong even to their kids, they take the kids right right away.

[Brady Bogan]

Even if they suspect people want them.

[Toledo]

To be away from their kids.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. They suspect it. And I know there's a lot of upstanding people here who are illegal. But fact of the matter is, the word illegal is attached to it. So you're taking that chance the whole time, and now somebody's clamping down. Doesn't make it right. Just means what is happening is happening. I know the system's broken. Don't get into that. I just want raids. I don't know how to fix any of this crap, But I do like the repercussions of everything. I love a good car chase. I think I love a good raid, although I've never seen one, like, fold out in front of me. I've had a car chase go by me. That's one of the most horrific things you could ever imagine. You gotta pull over and some dude goes blazing by and, like, six cop cars right behind him. Pretty neat. I've been in a car chase, which I don't even consider a car chase, Although we chased a dude all over on my ride along. And I mean, horrifying.

[Toledo]

And you're just in the back.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm in the side. I'm in the passenger seat wondering, how does he know who's the cops and who isn't? Because there's a ton of cars involved in this car chase that aren't marked. Truck started to go, like, 100 miles an hour next to us on Indians going, like, we gotta get this guy. And Ben's like, he's one of ours. I'm like, how do you know? Just a white truck. But he knew. And we. I mean, the only hope you have is that all these people get out of your way because you're moving and there's, you know, you're trying. And then they get it. Called off and like, you can't go that fast on these roads. And then dude blazes by again. He just went by me. Turn on the lights and start going again. And you realize you're in a serious. Like, we weren't on one of those freeway long car chases. We were dancing around neighborhoods and back out onto Indian School and running. I mean, we're. And when it would open up when there's no traffic, Ben would get on there and go, speeds are 65, no traffic. I look over and we're a lot more than 65 now. And then traffic would start and the guy would dodge it. It was amazing. Being in it is a different thing. Seeing it go by is scarier than being in it. Being in it's just like, what's happening? Like, you don't have time to think. I enjoy that. And we. What. You know what we did? We separated that dude from his family, like, real fast. He went back to a house, he holed up, and they were going to separate him from his body. They had AR15s pointed at every window and door of the house he went into. And what did he do, this good guy? He opened the front door and children came out one at a time, acting like he wasn't in there. What are you doing? Like little kids and then some dude. And like, we know he's inside and we have the back of the house. Like, we know. We went and we watched him go in there. Unless you've got a tunnel. Then the girl comes out who's in the car with him. Ah, it's like, that's our girl. She just went inside and changed clothes, came out like, I don't know what's going on either. Well, we know who you are. Come here. And you know why? We knew who she was. You want to racially profile she was white. The white girl got out of the car, ran in the house, and a bunch of Mexicans started to come out. And we're like, she's the one. We were looking.

[John Holmberg]

So what kind of neighborhood was this in?

[Brady Bogan]

It wasn't so bad. Well, it wasn't a good neighborhood. It wasn't terrible. It was like, ended up somewhere around mid. Terrible. Mid century terrible. It was probably 34th street and like, McDowell. It ain't good. It ain't good. Look, I'm not zillowing.

[Toledo]

Yeah, Just a tad south.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I wasn't zillowing. All the houses going, geez, isn't that bad. Wonder what this one's gonna go for.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that is racially profiling. What's she doing in there?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, no, we knew that the white girl in the car was being held hostage. Oh. By a boyfriend. And then. But she protected him, so she went inside and. And then the great part was I got to sit in the car with her and for no reason, also just done buttoned the top of her pants and just left it out. She had. And the cops that were talking to her like, you got to get out of this situation. You're gonna get. You realize what just happened to you? Your life's in danger hanging out with this guy. She goes, I know. I know. I don't. I was trying to break up with him, and he. And he drove away from me. And then. And then Ben just goes, why are your pants half off? His pants are so tight. And then we both realize that she's not. She's not much for grooming. Well, I'm not saying it stunk. I'm just saying there was an awful lot of fuzz. Ah. I didn't get close enough to give it a whiff, but give her a break, too. She's been through a lot. She probably pumped out a lot of juices she didn't expect. So I hardly expect it to smell like roses after you've been in a car chase with the police and that AR15 shot at you. I think I'm going to ink, too. Anyway, I like raids. I like car chases. And I know the separation from family thing will have an argument, and. I get it. Just hear me out. If you were at work today and there was a raid, you would have a hell of a story later where you wouldn't be going. You know, I'm not going to talk about it because it's so. You'd be telling the story. It's pretty cool. I don't want to. I just. I'm not doing anything wrong. So. I mean, it comes back to me. I'm just like. I'm not really worried about any of this stuff affecting me. And that's not good. That's not a great way to think. But that's. You know, I think most of us kind of deep down do that.

[John Holmberg]

Renee wants to see the. The raid happen when Thrillers in here for. For the squares. He wants to see him run across the parking lot.

[Brady Bogan]

If Thriller is illegal, he's doomed. He ain't getting away. Look, I don't even know. I don't even know how to work one, but I know I could eventually get a rope tie a lariat, and I'd have plenty of time to figure out how to work the lasso to get him. Like, don't worry about it.

[Toledo]

He's taking off.

[Brady Bogan]

I got this guy. But do you even know how to work a lasso? Nah. I'll go a little DIY on the Internet here in next hour or so before he gets to the end of the parking lot. I'll have it figured out.

[John Holmberg]

You can learn as you go because you have many misses and be able to get that.

[Toledo]

They can get the paperwork done before even picking him up. He's gone.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I see him. I'm walking behind him. Like, how do you get it to go in a circle anyway? I'll get this figured out. Yahoo. Thriller was illegal. We should do a. We should do a raid drill. All right, everybody, raid drill at noon on Thursday. If, in fact, they're here for a raid, I'll shout your name. And you run Thriller. Like, we just do it for. Okay, raid drill over.

[Toledo]

Like, it's almost like, duck, duck, goose.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You get chosen as the raid. We're gonna do it for everybody. Just in case I don't know your story. So if you get a raid at your office, please get those cameras rolling. Get my popcorn out. I'm ready. You're telling me in this. In this culture we live in, a channel dedicated to raids wouldn't be awesome?

[Toledo]

Surprise. You're not on it. I bet you they have it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they just haven't compiled enough to do 24 hours. But there's raid shows. They love that stuff. I love watching OP Live. I'm gonna raid this house. Like, oh, and. But the problem is that they stand outside for so long, it's got to be edited. They wait forever to make sure that, you know, it's safe for. And I want the police to be safe and stuff, but, Jesus, you got that battering ram and all those giant shields. Get some work done, boys. Door down, charge. Since John, I never thought about it. You're right. Every time a black guy gets taken away from his family, nobody throws a fit about that. Yeah, I don't understand that argument. There's got to be more to it than I'm not hearing. But he was separated from his family. Everybody's arrested. Is there isn't a single person arrested not separated from their family? Why is that a big deal for only one crime?

[Toledo]

And if the whole family's in on it? They're still separated.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. But they're supposed to be okay. Yeah. So if a mom and a dad are both caught, like, doing terrible things, they're not going to the same place. They're, like, together. No. You're separated. It's over. We'd stay married all you want, write each other letters, but this stuff. You are now currently separated. Anyway, I don't understand the world. I just like the show. I'm here for the show. I'm here for the jokes. I'm here for the show. Selfish son of a bitch. Yep, I could have told you that myself. In fact, I do it regularly. You don't care about people. I do the ones that generally affect me. Outside is just TV if they're on a screen. You're right. I don't care. It's. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585 9, 800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202Emmet Clintock, Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, Dewalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] cup KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else. Well, first of all, we've been in Valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies.

[John Holmberg]

So that we can work together to.

[Brady Bogan]

Make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com this is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018. Our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights and as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation Today, it's John Holmberg from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com Let me tell you about Brian and Emily. Brian listens to KUPD loyally. Megan listens to the news. But both of them have heard about life change alone for a long time. Both were curious. They never bothered really to look too deep since they felt good about their 20 year loan with a good rate. But they want to remodel their house and add a pool and that's going to cost about $250,000. After visiting Life Changer Loan, they realized they can still pay off the entire thing in about six years. It is not magic, it's math. Lifechangerloan.com It's Dick Toledo and new customers.

[Brett]

Right now on FanDuel get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning five dollar bet and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only five dollar first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook tool.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342. You thought that was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Thank you. Miles to nowhere. I do have a couple of follow ups there. I'll get to that one later. Everybody's worried about the the raids and stuff, but in the ways that I am, it's like it's not gonna happen on we know Josh Mulcahy, the Irish guard shows up. Josh, very funny man. Says funniest thing about the inauguration was my mother frantically messaging me, worried that I was going to be deported because I was born here to Irish parents and illegally attained citizenship. Apparently she's setting up the guest room at the house. She's mad as a bag of spiders, that lady. She's back in Ireland, worried because evidently letting Josh know, that's the thing we did legal about your citizenship. You've got to get out of there. You can end up in a In a presence with a bunch of Mexican boys. You're not gonna make it. Ireland is the Mexico of Europe. It's a bunch of gotta be angry, fighting. Yeah, we do it. We want to. This one says, this is from Miguel. We went to Vegas on our. On our set jet, private jet trip with Miguel and his wife. Remember the miniature people? No, they're great. Says wife comes home yesterday all pissed off with an attitude. Even the kids are asking, what's mom like this for? She's upset about the raids. What the f do I have to do with that? Just because I voted for Trump, it's my fault he's President. My vote made all that difference. Even if I voted for Biden, it's Trump still would have won effort. I'm gonna call ICE on my wife. I'm sending them all back. There you go, Miguel. Send her ass back. She's giving you grief. Yeah. Look, if I was a Mexican husband or wife, there's my armor. I will threaten to call ICE I can't. My mom and dad got into a fight once when I was about 13, and they were not a violent fighting couple by any stretch at all. Never. Every family has a couple blow ups. And I remember my dad was. I don't know what they were even fighting about, but I'm standing there holding my poodle, Happy. I loved Happy. She was the best. And I got Happy and I'm holding her and Happy's growling because there's tension in the air. My dad's standing right in front of my mom and he said something to the effect of, I want to bounce you off every wall in this room. It was furious. And she grabbed the phone on their nightstand and she goes, do it. And I swear I watched. I watched him like, ball up. Like, oh, my God. I mean, he's gonna. They're gonna kill each other. Like, this is. I've never seen this before. And. But she used the threat of like, I'll call like a domestic violence shelter. I'll have your ass. And it calmed him right down. If I was in a Hispanic household, I'd have the ICE number on the fridge. I'd have, like all over the place. I'd have ICE dialed, like, ready to go at all times. Do it, do it. Oh, oh, you don't like that? I didn't take the garbage out on Wednesday morning because I forgot. I'll be right back. I got a lady in the house. I don't think here's legally. You son of a bitch. This one says, back in the late 90s John Danny's family car wash. Employed illegals. They got in trouble for it. I remember that.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I remember that. At 43rd Avenue, an Indian school ice raided us one day. My buddy was six 3, 330 pound white guy is on the news. Took off running with all these illegals. When the funniest. That's what he said. Funniest thing I ever saw. We asked him, what'd you run for? He goes, everybody else was running. I didn't know what was going on. Why are you just hauling ass down the road? I'd probably. I say that like I'd watch a raid, like everything's fine, but if the doors got just bust, I'd start running. I'm like, I don't know what's happening.

[John Holmberg]

You imagine the cops just laughing at him too. White boy run.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. What's he running for? And what do the cops assume? Oh, God. Drug warrant. Yep. Anyway, I like that. The other thing I like is that my dream of a world where, look, I'm not a fan of like not being allowed to put in your window what people you won't serve. I've always been a fan of the idea that that's something I wish we could do. Civil rights kind of ruin that. But I like the idea of like when windows say, no Jews, no blacks. And I'm like, okay, the owner is announcing whose money he hates.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And as a human being, I'll walk by that and go, I'm not gonna support that either. And it's up to the free market. That's the beauty of democracy, is you let an idiot run an idiot business. But the law makes it so the racist owners can hide their true feelings. Now if I had a sign that said, no bald guys. I hate balds. No balds in a store. I'm not eating there. It's the last thing I'm going to do. And if somebody said, we can't put that sign up, you got to serve him now. He's going to take his anger out some other way. I like when an owner says what he hates. I love that. Absolutely love it. So I watched Al Sharpton yesterday screaming and yelling that he's going to boycott all the businesses that no longer go through dei because DEI is now. That's on fire.

[Toledo]

Suspended right now. Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it is over. Like in the government, it is not a thing. So at least across the board there so. And then so meta Google. There's a few other big giant place McDonald's that have said, we're no longer using DEI as a hiring thing. We're not going to go down that road.

[John Holmberg]

I think Lowe's said it a while.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there's a bunch of giant ones, and Sharpton said that's fine. You don't like the DEI system, then I'll encourage people who would fall under that umbrella to not go there. And that's great. You have that right. I think that's awesome. But here's the thing. If the market still supports it, you have to shut up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Just because you're protesting it, it doesn't work. Because I don't think you're gonna get a whole lot of. I watched the commercials. I don't think you get a whole lot of black people stop eating at McDonald's. I think that's. I think that's gonna. I think that's pretty much going to be like. It's. You're not stopping that. Those French fries are delicious. There's no possible way. And it's their target audience in the. In the inner cities and main big towns. That's who they target. All the billboards, all the commercials. It's like the, you know, people of color are who. McDonald's are like, you want a cheap meal and a lot of food.

[John Holmberg]

White, black or other. With the McRib back, nobody's going to stop.

[Brady Bogan]

Nobody stops. You bring up the McRib, which I, you know, was trying to dance around. It doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

Where's black brother Al?

[Brady Bogan]

Sharpton's gonna say, I'll never eat that again. Like, here's a lifetime supply of McRibs.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

McDonald's is all right.

[Toledo]

That's how he operates.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's exactly it. But it's the thing where. I understand your point, but if the free market said, even if Brady had porkopolis still and it said whites only, you'd be like, it's horrible. But if enough people in that community supported is what it is, and you have to let that. I love the idea of that because it keeps me away because I'm a decent person. And if that's what the clientele you want, okay. But for the most part, I think if you had that up, your business would fail. And not because people are outside protesting. It's. People don't want to give you that money. They just don't. I know.

[Toledo]

And to what degree, like, if it came down to it, if a restaurant was like that.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I mean, it used to be that way because it was violent. What they needed to stop was the violent side of it. And it does lead to that. So, I mean, there's, you know. But still, I don't. I want the cook. If I could find out that the cook at any restaurants, like, the one thing I hate, my wife left me for a six foot bald guy. It looks like Walter White. And that triggers me. I'm not eating there. I want to know, and I can't. You can't possibly know everybody's problems. But at the very least, on a core base thing, if you have a sign outside said, here's an entire group of people I will not enjoy being around, it keeps. Keeps those people in the know about. I don't know why you'd want to eat there. When the gays wanted wedding cakes, that place said, I'm not going to make you one. They forced them. They were like, you're going to make them like, why do you want you to court? Why do you want to eat their food? There's no possible way I'm eating a wedding cake. I'd let the news know. And the place doesn't serve us because we're gay. It's like, all right, you guys do it. I'm not eating there. And God forbid you force them to change their ways. I'm certainly not going back.

[John Holmberg]

Sharpton. So annoying.

[Brady Bogan]

Sharpton.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I'll go anywhere that he's not going.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, he's just annoying.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you stopping anybody from Facebook or Instagram or Google? Google. Like, yeah, they're gonna have people not Google stuff anymore because DEI is no longer in place. I think the DEI thing is gonna. It'll die on the vine because it's a look. And I think most people would find it insulting that the only reason they get hired is because of their lifestyle rather than qualified. Yeah. You know, again, that argument that keeps going around is like, the DEI in California with the firefighters was so important. And I. I say it. I don't know if anybody else says, hey, my house is on fire. Send anybody but white people. Nobody's ever said that. I'll take anybody. I'll take 10 firefighters going through the transition in the dress, you know, make up all the gear. So long as they got there on time, got the job done. You can tote me out of a fire. I don't care what you look like.

[Toledo]

Yes, my house is on fire. And you set the crew over. You sent the Chinese crew. I can't believe you guys would.

[Brady Bogan]

The Chinese fire drill. I see what Brady's doing. That took a long time. Time. I helped you land that plane. We Got it down a little faster than you needed to go there. All right, I know what he's doing here.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Captain Sully.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, we're all alive, but it was a rough landing anyway. It was a. You just. Nobody. Nobody should care. But, yeah, Sharpton screaming and yelling about that. I'm like, okay, if it doesn't work, though, you gotta shut up also. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You'll never shut up.

[Brady Bogan]

But that's the thing. If people are like, all right, alone, we're gonna keep Googling. Yeah, we don't care if they hire enough trans people or what. We're gonna keep Googling. We kind of need that one. If Google decided to say it was racist, like, just out loud, people would still be like, all right, until something better comes on. I'm still gonna use it. I'm not going back to Jeeves.

[John Holmberg]

That's still a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, ask Jeeves. I don't know. Probably ask Jeeves sitting there going, we hired Tranny.

[John Holmberg]

We love everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

And then the other thing yesterday I watched is that they had some sort of. They keep dragging religious people up there speaking, and Trump is sitting at something and some. I don't know if it was a lesbian or look like it. Went up there and started to talk about how the new administration needs to be nicer to gays and trans people. And I'm like, shut up, Church. I don't think you're the one that can throw that message at anyone. You guys better be more fair to gays. The Lord. No, your message is lost on this one. You can't be one that says that. You need to pipe down there, Church. How can you be so mean to the trans community? Backseat. You go ahead and get in the back there. You're not allowed to talk about fairness to gays, Church. Like Papa John starting to go out there and give a speech to the NBA. It's like. It's just not a thing. You can't. You can't chastise us on what you've done for thousands of years and then go, I don't like what's going on with this guy. Send a representative from. Not church. I got an update from Vince.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, nice.

[Brady Bogan]

First email I had this morning says, hi, guys. I laugh when I hear you guys talking about, oh, by the way, Vince is the guy from last week. Just to recap the people who don't know, Vince is the guy from last week who. It was Messy. Got married January 1st, found out his wife was pregnant January 6th or 7th, she breaks away on the 13th, disappears for four days and then has a talk with him that she may have had been impregnated by a fling she had pre wedding with her Middle Eastern boyfriend from Montreal. So I'm not sure it's Vince's baby. And.

[Toledo]

Yeah, and we're assuming that because the name's Omar. That's how we know.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's right. Did we make that up or was that. No, I'm not raising Omar's baby. That's right. No, no, he said it in the email. That's right. Because it said I'm not going to raise Omar's baby.

[Toledo]

But you're just assuming that that's.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. Well, yeah, but yeah, I mean, it would live with you. You know, your wife says it's yours or his and I don't know because. So they had their talk and whatever we. We suggested abortion says. I laugh when I hear you guys talking about me. All I think to myself is, why did I turn to this group in my darkest hour? I wonder that too. Why we think. I'm glad you do. But anyway, it says. But honestly, a few laughs through this disaster helped. You guys are like friends. We've decided not to continue our marriage. We're looking into an annulment. The Vince is going to break it off. We found out you can test the DNA of a baby prenatally, if that's how it works. We found that out too, through this process. So says we're going to do that. Frankly, I am not rooting for it to be mine. Oof. By the way, you making fun of the Middle Eastern ex boyfriend from Montreal was the first time I didn't feel completely alone for a minute. He's also an MMA fight coach. Did I mention that? Oh, man. He's short, but he's jacked. I'm no slouch, but I'm not living in his world. She says if it's my kid, she'd like to try again with me. It's also raw. Right now. I don't even want to make a decision. I don't really want to lose her. But I'm reminded every single time she says she's pregnant, that impending doom is probably right around the corner. I know I'm not a good guy either. The ex I had a fling with right before the wedding. Uh, I'm not getting with that. She's a horrible narcissist who looks great when she puts makeup on and dresses it up, but when she's not in makeup or good clothes, she looks homeless and fat. So I'm not interested in going back there. Uh, thank God I used a rubber. Unlike my stupid almost ex wife. Since I asked before, I'll ask again. Any more advice? Maybe you guys should start a side podcast where you just solve people's problems and they save money on therapy. Signed Vince.

[John Holmberg]

A bad idea.

[Brady Bogan]

It isn't a bad idea. We'll help. Yeah, ask an. I think it would be called any advice for Vince?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he's already making it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Yeah, he is. But it might change a little bit if all said, if it's his kid.

[Brady Bogan]

Why she's still a. I know he's still.

[John Holmberg]

But I didn't say he was. Rubber.

[Toledo]

It changes it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a good point.

[Toledo]

A little bit. As far as responsibility.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You're going to be tied to her forever anyway.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

If you want to love her on top of it and kind of.

[Toledo]

You're the one that has to choose that. It's. It's not wrong. Think if you're like, you know what?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, man, that's a. I messed up.

[Toledo]

I mean, it's not like I'm innocent, but I did use a condom.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she just.

[Toledo]

If she's over it, you have. You know, there's trust. The trust barrier. You got to build back up. Him.

[John Holmberg]

No trust.

[Brady Bogan]

Or you just start over.

[Toledo]

Or just start.

[John Holmberg]

Start over.

[Brady Bogan]

Because it doesn't have to do with. Well, I mean, start over. Even with her, where it's like, look, it's not about trust. It's about past. If that's his kid.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

Then you sit back and just say, we're starting fresh from zero.

[Toledo]

Get everything out.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm not. Yeah. You have to talk it out to, like, the studs. You have to tear it down to the studs. You can't ignore it and just. You can't. It'll. It'll. You'll just live with clouds. But now you should leave, too, and.

[Toledo]

You can be a response. I mean, the responsibility is fine. You can. You can both raise the kid or.

[Brady Bogan]

Just hope it's Omar's.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Just.

[Toledo]

That makes the decision a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Easier or a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

It's done at that point. I know Brady's not a fan. Get rid of this thing. It's just gonna live a miserable life.

[John Holmberg]

With Sprite and graham crackers. We'll pay for the gr.

[Brady Bogan]

Omar and mma. Omar up there in Montreal flying in once every four months. And that's gonna end ugly. That's gonna be Omar.

[Toledo]

I don't think I could stick around.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you're not staying if it's Omar. But then. But then the kid has to have Omar, the absentee mma.

[Toledo]

He's got you schoolboy pinned. He'll take you at an early age.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he won't, because his dad won't be there to train him. He's gonna be. Be gonna be flitting around with an MMA dad, DNA, but he's not gonna have any of the skills because Omar's up there in Canada.

[Toledo]

It doesn't just happen genetically.

[Brady Bogan]

No. Yeah. No. Brady. Thank God for Kirby, that it's not just a meme. She has a chance. No, you can't just pass on. It's not like the matrix where they plug in all the MMA stuff and kid comes out, he's a baby Soup. Brilliant. It could be that many Brazilian Jiu Jitsu just shooting out of him the second he's on the. In the crib. Yeah. This is to Vince.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, they both went out and boned X's before your wedding?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He just means in general. Yeah. Both sides.

[Brady Bogan]

It doesn't seem like that's gonna be a feasible thing to continue. And then if you have more kids with her, like, let's say five years, she's like, I have another kid, and then she gets pregnant again. You're gonna sit and go. And then you're gonna go online and you see where Omar was. You're gonna wonder if he was in town that weekend. And by the way, what a dummy here. If you're gonna. If you're gonna impregnate yourself with a side piece, keep it in the same, you know, Benjamin Moore color scheme. What are you, an idiot? You can't go off and drift off and. And bang Jani and come home and go, oh, boy.

[John Holmberg]

Ask Steve Nash.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly. At the very least, bang something close. If it was, you know, what do they call that? Indian sand white. And then, like, Moroccan whites. Those are right next to each other on that same palate on the palette. Keep it in the same card of the five colors. That way you don't have any explaining to do unless the guy gets uppity about a DNA test. Once that happens, you're screwed. But try to keep it at least in the same line. You know, don't go way over here to Indian red and then that's a real color. And then come right back over here to peach, and then say, we'll see you in eight months. That's trouble. You're just ruining lives. Omar, the Middle Eastern Montreal MMA fighter. It's gonna come out different and then you're gonna have everybody hate you like family. Everybody. At least this way, you're just, you know. Well. But events keep us up to date on whether or not it stays yours. Say, the only way Vince can have a life without girls if he can put out of his mind that every time she goes out with the girls or says she's going in or she's not actually flying to Montreal to bang Omar. If he can't do that, he's in for a terrible existence with no rubber. Double bang girl. That's true. He's got that narcissist.

[John Holmberg]

Dumb. She was the first time banging the ex.

[Brady Bogan]

But again, we all do dumb.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then later you learn from dumb. Dumb. It is pretty dumb to go.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm with you, Brett. You don't bang the different.

[Toledo]

It was double X's, right? Was that an X?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they both went back to X's and had, like, that good.

[John Holmberg]

He said double X's. I was like, what, Magnum?

[Brady Bogan]

Omar's a double X magnet. But the difference was, you're gonna notice that baby's gonna fall out in four months.

[John Holmberg]

Leave now.

[Brady Bogan]

If the baby comes out in four months, it's because of Omar. Either way.

[Toledo]

He'S saying mine that I went back. I just realized, man, she's made up. Nice. But after that makeup.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, the pig.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but you're not. He doesn't hear that about no Omar.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, no, he knew that going back to that X, he's like, I know this has no future, but I got to get one out of my system before the wedding. Yeah, you know, that doesn't make it right. It's just what it is.

[John Holmberg]

Call Ice on Omar.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, there you go. But he's in Montreal already. If he comes back. Yeah, they're running that up Canada too. They have a remain in Canada rule now. Just to keep it even. This one says if he wants advice. How about a reminder that they better give all those wedding gifts back. Oh, they didn't even make it two weeks. More proof that Brady has the right idea when it comes to wedding gifts. Jesse, that is very true. Because if you bought them like an oven or something.

[Toledo]

Oh, there's some.

[Brady Bogan]

You get some nice high priced items and they. They make it get to the 14th, and they got married on the 1st. You got to give those presents back. And that's why giving cash is a bad idea. That's untraceable. It's like mob stuff. Like, I gave you guys $1,000 cash, and you made it two weeks.

[John Holmberg]

I always give envelopes. I don't. I don't buy presents.

[Brady Bogan]

Screw that. I'm not shopping for.

[John Holmberg]

Although it's last wedding we all went to, Brady was the smart one. Hey, yeah, they'll cost us a fortune.

[Brady Bogan]

Gimped out on a present. My present is my presence. All right? He showed up as six month rule. I'm the one getting hit with all the Jew jokes, but Brady rolls up.

[Toledo]

Kept forgetting.

[Brady Bogan]

You didn't forget it.

[John Holmberg]

Scrooge McDuck over here.

[Brett]

I sent you an Amazon link. That's how I sent it.

[Brady Bogan]

That's how I got one too. In fact, we were on a text thread going, what'd you guys get them?

[Brett]

Exact.

[Brady Bogan]

So we did get the not answering that messy text thread. That's why that wasn't. You don't remember out of convenience. Of course you don't. Out of convenience. Because you walked in there going, yep. Where'd you get them presents? There's nothing asked for. None. That's why we were all so shocked when you said didn't get him anything yet. Like, what do you mean yet? And that's where you started your whole 6 month rule. 6 month fake plan because you got busted Eureka moment. You were hoping no one would notice and you never had to say anything. But when we called you out, you're like, last. Make it last six months. They did seven and then bounced and Brady was ended up looking like a genius. They went tight on seven.

[John Holmberg]

I will fork it over, Logan.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll give it to him seven with a 30 day grace period. I'm just jealous about it. Well, you didn't think about it because you're a decent person. You thought you should get it. You got invited to it.

[Toledo]

You get a year.

[Brady Bogan]

Now it's a year.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it was six months.

[Brady Bogan]

I still have to get.

[Brett]

Oh, you said six months, but you.

[Brady Bogan]

Worked it to a year.

[Toledo]

Look, I know it's six months, but I think it's what some people. You get a year for what you can send over. Well, you can send over a wedding.

[Brady Bogan]

Gift whenever you can get Anybody you.

[Brett]

Racially profiled versus six months in a year.

[Toledo]

No, this was on Ronnie's desk.

[Brady Bogan]

Eventually. Eventually Kirby and her filthy toilet are going to get blamed for this. I. Look, we know it wasn't a pre planned plan. Like you didn't go in there. Here's my meticulous plan. I have a rule. No, you just got caught not buying them something. You threw out some numbers and in the end we're all like, hey, this actually is pretty Good. Your scramble turned out to be a pretty good idea.

[John Holmberg]

I give it to him.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but this vince situation. In 14 days, they owe everybody their prizes back. You get nothing. That toaster, I don't care if it's back in the box or what. Whoever got you that, you put it up online, you start a page, and saying what did you get us? Click on it, claim it, it's going back to your house, and if the person who bought it says, now you can still have it, split it up in the annulment. I don't want somebody's half toaster. I already got a toaster.

[Toledo]

Was that old school? Their wedding didn't work out and Will Ferrell gives the toaster.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, that was a wedding gift. This one says they're both losers. End it. One after fat chick, the other after short. Dude, that's true. They both have terrible taste. Anyway, Vince, I'm sorry for you, buddy, but why you came to us, I don't know. I really appreciate that you did because it's great, but. Oh, he didn't know. Tyrus says that he didn't ever mention if she's still currently in contact with Omar. She probably has to be.

[Brett]

Yeah, I would think so.

[Brady Bogan]

Or maybe she's pulling a Brady and she won't until she finds out for sure.

[John Holmberg]

She just calls 1-800-Discover and gets a hold of him.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe that's good advice, Vince. Find out. I just picked that up. That would be great, too. Good day, eh? My name is Uma from Discover Card, buddy. Well, thank you for calling Canadian Discover Card. Can I help you? Yeah, my name's Vince and I think you knocked up my wife. No, no, no, no, no.

[Toledo]

He goes for the manager. Let me get my manager.

[Brady Bogan]

Let me go boot the room and find my manager. Indian Canadians are weird. Yeah. Vince, you should find out if Omar knows, because the worst thing that can happen here is the MMA fighter finds out after it's surely his and then comes storming out here mad. Or, you know, you got to tell him, hey, look, you're also on the menu here. This potentially could be yours. I don't want to blindside you and let you find it and let him know that the test is coming and he needs to sweat for a little bit, too.

[Toledo]

I don't think Omar will come out storming mad.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he's ever leaving Canada, he's gonna be like a Vietnam dodger. He's never coming back. That dude is going to stay, but yeah, the man. That's an interesting idea, but I think I would definitely ask her. Hey, if you're still in contact with Omar, we need to let him know what's going on here. That he's. He is one of the finalists for the Bachelor. Yeah.

[Brett]

I'll speak for the kid.

[Brady Bogan]

They're gonna want to know. Yeah. If anybody would. Toledo would definitely tell you. Where's dad is a big question. And dads would want to know. We've had a couple people in this building get on that list. You've been on one of those lists? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Some girl thought she was going to try to pay you a baby. Yeah.

[Brett]

Fraternity test brought by the state of Utah. And her.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. She had like four or five guys on the list, right?

[Toledo]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a tough thing.

[Brett]

I was top of the list, so I was first contacted. I had to.

[Brady Bogan]

And what are you going through first off? How do they deliver that?

[Brett]

The King County Sheriff's department came to my door.

[Brady Bogan]

They face to face.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And knocks on the door.

[Brett]

Are you familiar with a Carla Renee Hart?

[Brady Bogan]

You crack the door open and see this is like a raid. Are they dressed up in outfits?

[Brett]

It was like 7:30am And I was a bartender, so I was barely.

[Brady Bogan]

But they're in like cop outfits.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice guys.

[Brady Bogan]

And they open the door. This can't be him. Yep. You get laid by a lady named Carla. I'm shocked. Not you find the gentleman in here who's got some libido. Is that a water bed I see in your bedroom? This guy didn't get laid by him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bother you, sir.

[Toledo]

No, that's him.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the guy. How drunk were you? Evidently you knocked him. So they come as cops, knock on the door and say, here's paper.

[Brett]

Yeah. By way of. I can't remember where she was living in Utah at the time, but she was getting benefits in Utah.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Brett]

So Utah. Basically told her, if you want to continue getting benefits, you need to.

[Brady Bogan]

Who.

[Brett]

Who the dad is. So she came up with the list. I was top of the list.

[Brady Bogan]

A list. How old was the kid?

[Brett]

He would have been five at that time.

[Brady Bogan]

She waited a few years.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And you remember she was.

[Brett]

She was drawn benefits for all those years.

[Brady Bogan]

So when they get. When they bang on the door and ask you the question, are you like. Oh, like, you immediately go back to the night in question? Yeah. So you're like, oh, nuts. Yeah, that was. And you were worried then. And then. But you never knew she was pregnant.

[Brett]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

So you banged her and then just Forgot her. Lost contact.

[Brett]

About four or five months later, I moved to Seattle.

[Brady Bogan]

Good move. So you looked guilty. You pulled a full Toledo on that one. That was exactly like your dad. I better get out of Dodge. So then they do that, and then how long until you find out that there's other guy? Do they tell you how many people are involved?

[Brett]

They didn't tell me that. My lawyer ended up finding that out.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

Had to get a lawyer. My mom was all fired up about it because I told her. I'm like, look, this. This happened. But I mean, I need to be involved with this. And so mom got me a lawyer. We went and had to do a DNA test. Had to wait probably at that time, I think it was probably about three.

[Brady Bogan]

Weeks before we got the results. Oh, God. Just sweating bullets.

[Brett]

It was a total MORI thing. Got the whole legal paperwork that said you are not.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you start dancing and stuff afterwards too?

[Brett]

I did.

[Brady Bogan]

I flown over to her and banged her again. Now I can get you, and I know what to do with it. Oh, my God. Yeah. I couldn't. I. Thank God no one ever wanted to have sex with me. I've never. Yeah.

[Brett]

King county sheriff says, you know, we've been looking for you for a while. And I'm like, I've been here in this exact apartment for a year. You know, I don't know where you've been looking.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, I haven't been dodging you. Not like Brady in the wedding.

[Brett]

Right.

[Toledo]

You're not good at dodging.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady's been ducking the King County's sheriff for a long time. Never going to find me. Wow. That's horrifying. Horrifying.

[Toledo]

And then the other five, there's like no way. You know, I mean, that time period, if you knew any of the other guys.

[Brett]

Oh, I. I didn't know any of the names on the list.

[Brady Bogan]

Morning sickness. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. But how tough is it for the girl to go, all right, here's my list?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, that's like Santa Claus scroll coming out.

[Brett]

I get that. But it's also BS because she. They can throw a dart at a board and pick a name, and she can say, that's the guy who impregnated me, and then it's up to you. I mean, I get it a little bit on both sides, but, like, for me, I had to go get a lawyer. Had to pay for the DNA test, had to pay for everything. It's like 2,500 bucks.

[Brady Bogan]

See if I'm the. If I'm the girl, I risk massive whore reputation because it's going to go away. Oh, she had it. But I. But I waste all of the King county resource money by giving them a list of like 30 dudes to where it would be more expensive to find the dad than it would just to give you benefits.

[Brett]

You put the guy that you like most at either.

[Brady Bogan]

At the top of the bottom, way down. The dude I'm pretty sure is him. I list later. I might give him a list of like 30 and then not include them. They go, oh, there's one more get.

[Brett]

On that government dole.

[Brady Bogan]

I was in Bukake. Gang bang.

[Toledo]

They'd have to do it without. Well, you'd still have to do the DNA. DNA test. I'm saying, oh, no, I wasn't with her. You know, like, people will deny that. Well, that's up to them. But then they take them to court.

[Brett]

Keeps you on that list. The state of Utah will come after you whether you say that or not.

[Brady Bogan]

And then. And you don't have to pay for the DNA test.

[Brett]

I did.

[Brady Bogan]

Why would you have to pay?

[Toledo]

That's what I'm.

[Brett]

Because I was defending myself.

[Brady Bogan]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

You should get your money back then.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yeah. If it's not me, I should get a couple hundred bucks, especially back then. So I would just waste the time and money of the county by adding 30 or 40 names to that and just go, Brady, Tripp.

[Toledo]

Yeah, because what's.

[Brady Bogan]

Ed. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Dave Har.

[Brady Bogan]

Our whole staff going down Thriller.

[John Holmberg]

Ben.

[Toledo]

Ben.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't make babies back there. He missed. I think one crawled out. All right, that makes sense.

[Brett]

Just give the DNA specialist an office downstairs.

[Brady Bogan]

He gave me a chocolate cream pie, and I think a few got out. I had a rogue one go in. All right, we'll test Ben Gross.

[Brett]

John, aren't you worried that if the sheriff's office comes looking for Brady, they'll find you?

[Brady Bogan]

One of Ben's getting sperm.

[Brett]

It's so gross.

[Brady Bogan]

In a girl's butt. What's this room like? There's eggs. I love eggs.

[Brett]

Is that a rosebud?

[Brady Bogan]

That's Ben's gay sperm going rogue. Screw you guys. I'm getting out of here. Come back. Gay sperm. This isn't a man's bottom. I've been bamboozled.

[John Holmberg]

The sperm's helping.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's got a little. Yeah, he's got a little hobo sack. As he leaves the anus.

[Brett]

You'll miss me.

[Brady Bogan]

You guys go ahead. Keep searching for what's not There, the prostate. You're never gonna land on it. Yeah, girl bits. I'm leaving. I'm cold. He's out there. Oh, I've got to find shelter. Carl's in there and Ben's got to get tested. That's how pregnancy works. I learned that in school, but yeah, I'd put a bunch of people on the list. That's got to be tough for a woman though. Like here. Officers, here's 55 people.

[Toledo]

And so there was no reimbursement on the DNA.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady still worried about that? After all that gay sperm touch Brady's, everything has receded. Seriously, did you get your money back or not?

[Brett]

Not even close.

[Brady Bogan]

Can you file? Is it too late still to file? I'd go get that cash. Especially back when they were doing that too. That was like early 2000s, late 90s. Yeah, bro, that was cheap. That wasn't cheap getting DNA tests back.

[Brett]

No, it was lawyer and everything then was around 2,500 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

I'd have sent her a bill.

[Brett]

Yeah, then I gotta go find her.

[Brady Bogan]

You know it's worth paying. Just get her out of your life for a couple hundred bucks. Never see her again.

[John Holmberg]

John, coming from the state of Utah. Living there my whole life up until 10 years ago. The state of Utah does not care what resources they will spend to find the baby daddy for a slut.

[Brady Bogan]

Man, that's probably true. Out the slut and do that work. Imagine knocking on that door. Are you Ben? Yes. You work at kupd? Yes. Did you move that feather bow out of the way? I got to talk to him. What is it, officer? I'm busy. Put some pants on. We need to chat. Do you know this lady? Oh, God, yes. I'm pretty sure we're knocking on the wrong door here, but.

[Brett]

What? I know her.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna need you to come with me for a second. What does that mean? I mean, don't come with me. You know what I mean. Follow me. Get behind me. You know what? Just sit in the passengers. Apparently one of your gay sperms went rogue and possibly knocked out this little wad. Wad? What? Let's set that up as a joke. Oh. Have some guys come down here and we'll have our cop friends come down and subpoena Ben to give a DNA test for a baby. Oh.

[Brett]

Cuz that baby would be.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, we don't know when the last time it was.

[Brett]

I know, but I'm. I'm just.

[Brady Bogan]

We do a little around the scale.

[Brett]

18 years ago.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's find out. The last time Ben Went our way. And then, like, dummy up some papers and. Yes, yes, we have to do this.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you're great.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you pulled it off of the drug test years ago. You could do this.

[Brady Bogan]

Ben's one of my favorite people. People in the building. But this could be. His laugh is the most contagious thing of all. Well, not the most, but a very contagious thing.

[Brett]

And it reverberates.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, Booms through the wrist. But, I mean, when we reveal that, I don't know if he'd laugh or just lose it, but that would be pretty fun. That's a great practical joke to do.

[Brett]

Does he like kids?

[Brady Bogan]

Look, your inner trigger just got harmed. There's no real baby or dad. You don't have to worry about reuniting a child and his father. It's a joke anyway. What are you going to do? That could be real fun, though. And then, you know, the other thing I saw that we get into was the world is a better place as of this morning. And I don't care. It's not politics or losing your minds over that. The world's a better place. They found two noted Sasquatch hunters dead in Washington. Oh, my God. Two less people that we have to deal with that annually go out search for Bigfoot. And hopefully the same people that wasted the money and resources will no longer have to search for dumb bigfoot people. If you get stuck looking for Bigfoot or die looking for Bigfoot, the taxpayer should not fund your retrieval. You should be Bigfoot food and lay in the woods forever and ever. And if you've got a family member who goes missing cause they were looking for Bigfoot, don't ever call the police that they didn't come home. That's it. If you've got a dumb uncle or a brother or whatever saying we're going Bigfoot hunt mountain when he doesn't call back, Consider yourself lucky and do not waste the resources looking for your Bigfoot, dummy.

[Toledo]

But we need more people hunting.

[Brady Bogan]

We need tons more. If you're in the. If you're in the category of thinking, you know, somebody's gonna find him someday, why not me? Get out there. Get out there as fast as you can. Take very limited clothes and like, don't, don't. You'll find him first day, I guess. I'm guessing you don't even need a coat. But get out in those woods and find that bigfoot.

[John Holmberg]

Go to MMP Guns. Byron will give you a discount.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Problem.

[Brady Bogan]

40% off your gun today. If you go Bigfoot hunting and, and send pictures back 100% off. If you get a Bigfoot, you go into M and P guns today and say, I'm Bigfoot Hunt and I'm gonna need something pretty powerful. You buy that gun, you come back with a Bigfoot, you get guns for life, for free.

[Brett]

Oh, what a great.

[Brady Bogan]

Never gonna get it. And vogue. Never ever gonna get it. We need. Brady's right. We need more Bigfoot hunters to brave up and find that Bigfoot. Get out there, gang. You'll get them. There's no question. We're, we're due. We're so close. These two guys that just got killed and found and there's like, I saw it on the news. There was like a whole team of people dragging them out. And I'm like helicopters and I'm like, no, no, no, no. Know there's no search team for Bigfoot hunters. You become Bigfoot Kibble. That's it. You just, you wander around in Bigfoot territory, you drop dead looking for him. It's the circle of life, my friend. It's nature. It's you. Bigfoot gonna eat you. And that's the way it should stay. I think it's a better world when the Bigfoot hunter doesn't return from his excursion. My dad told me once he was out hunting for something that didn't exist, I'd be like, I'd kiss him goodbye. That's it. I'll miss you. Because even if you do make it back, I'm never talking to you again, you lunatic.

[John Holmberg]

I'm calling Omar.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, To John, me and a couple friends. Drake and I are going up into Washington. We're gonna look for Bigfoot. Oh, it's been a nice run, dad. It's been a nice run. I think we got him. We've been tracking. You're not gonna find Bigfoot. But I'm gonna say goodbye to you forever. It is dangerous. I may not make it back. Oh, no, no, no. Even if you make it back, we're never gonna see each other. I can't face you ever again. You're nuts. I would like to, before you go Bigfoot hunting, offer therapy and help so you don't ever say this to people again. Ah, John, it's my quest. Okay. Adios, old man. Then I have like a fake funeral for him because I don't ever want to see him again.

[Toledo]

And dad, is December and January the best time to go looking for him?

[Brady Bogan]

I've got a goose down jacket. I'll be fine. Like you're not Gonna make it. You're not going to make it. You're an idiot.

[Brett]

Does this say Old Navy on your jacket?

[Brady Bogan]

Is that. Isn't a Bigfoot somewhat bare? Like don't they hide from the snow too? Or they like. I know Sasquatch loves the snow. Yeah, Sasquatch Yeti. Yeti loves the snow. But that's a different hunt.

[Brett]

Sasquatch is brown.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Sasquatch is brown. And Yeti is white. One's allowed. One's not graded. Cole. I still get them. But if you're up there hunting for winter Bigfoot, I don't want you to come back. I want this. I want. I want Darwin to start winning a few of these fights. Worst thing in the world is when that door swings open. Oh, you're back. You got a bigfoot in the F150? Nope. Struck out. Yeah. I don't think you can live here anymore. You gotta. How can you show your goddamn face empty handed after a Bigfoot hunt?

[Toledo]

Noise. Next year.

[Brady Bogan]

Why did you cut it off? There's no permit or time limit. Just stay out there.

[Brett]

Well, I ran out of resources.

[Brady Bogan]

Only took two weeks. Look. Get back out there. What are you doing? So anyway, the world's a better place. Two more Bigfoot hunters found dead. And I say you leave them. No more hunting for Bigfoot hunters. They're out there. Bigfoot's evaded us for all of eternity somehow. And if you go out there looking for them and you become food, you stay food. That's what I think. Not like elk hunters who hurt themselves. You know elk are real. And that's an accident. Bigfoot not real. You're wasting everybody's time. Stupid hiker law. You go hiking, it's 120 degrees. Why do you got to put everybody else through it and expense and everything else. You're the dummy. Figure it out. I've always said that I go biking in the heat. I'm by myself. If I crash, you leave me out there. No reason to wait. Come pick me up in the wintertime when it's safe for everybody else. I'm the idiot. I don't get it. I ride. I've done that a couple times. With this new schedule, I'm trying to keep it. I hop on. I can't do it. Still way too cold lately. But I did one ride over the break at night and I got real scared. Real scared. And there's like nobody gonna pop out and get me. And no animals on Squaw Peak that are gonna. You know that trail isn't Gonna suddenly have some sort of chupacabra.

[Toledo]

Everything's burrowed in, right.

[Brady Bogan]

You just hit. Nothing's gonna stand. And I should be able to either scream and run fast enough on the bike to get away. Worst thing that can happen is I hit a rock, I fall off and I roll down a hill.

[John Holmberg]

I could roll into sodomy gulch.

[Brady Bogan]

I could roll into the gulch and then. God, I hope I'm dead by the bottom of the gulch. But yeah, I mean, I'll just lay out there with one of those weird. Just one of those weird LED lights shooting off into the sky. With the front tire spinning and no body within 35ft. That's how I get found. That's my own doing. You don't need a rescue team for bigfoot hunter. That should be a rule. What were you hunting for, Bigfoot? We are not looking for you. You're done. So. But brady could have nailed that one more right now. If you're driving to work on it's real. Well, you should get out there. If you know it's real and you feel pretty secure that you're. You can prove that he's out there waiting. Just not in my rule. I think Brady's right. Right. Not enough eyeballs looking for him. I think those guys could have been close. You know, it should pick up from where they. Right. Where did they stop? Because maybe bigfoot hit him.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And killed him. Because they were so close. Like. Oh, they were. They. They found this just in. They found some. A bigfoot handprint on their heads. He smacked them down, and that's what happened there. If you can get all your dumb bigfoot friends in a circle, all you flat earthers, one big circle. And then close the circle and meet in the middle. You'll get them. You surround them. Surround them up there. I'm not the same about the lost dutchman's mind, Though I do think if you do that in June, you're kind of stupid and you shouldn't get a search team. But right about now, it isn't the worst idea to hunt for that. Because if it's real. And so far, it's been pretty evasive. But if it's real, I could see why you got a little goofy and started to hunt for that. I don't get why guys in their 80s do it June 18 every year. And, like, wander off into the referring that mine. No, you're not. You're gonna die.

[Toledo]

I'm thinking about it for years.

[Brady Bogan]

Finally, it's time. I've got Nothing. They're retired. I got nothing to do. I got no legacy. Grandpa got his walking stick and going up to them superstitions. I'm gonna find it. I've been reading books and then they go and die in like eight minutes. And Grandpa. And then I gotta worry on the 51 about a silver alert. Some guy last seen in the. He's dead because nobody was looking out for Bill. I'll be right back. Every time an old man says that in June. He's not coming back. I'll be right back. He can't go anywhere alone. Get in the house. Come here. No. Where were you gonna go hunting for the mine, of course. Sit up. Down. You're done here. Turn the socks game on. Let him. Let him. He'll forget in five minutes. Just the thing, Brett. What do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[John Holmberg]

Wake Up Song, of course. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And if you want to head out in the desert looking for the lost Dutchman, well, get yourself a nice mountain bike.

[Brady Bogan]

You're not going to find this Dutchman if you find him first. What are you doing here? What are you.

[John Holmberg]

300 Fall Willie? You'll be out there, I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Sitting on a gold mine.

[Brett]

Bigfoot with my gold.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there you go. He's right underneath me here. Nobody's going to touch it. It's mine.

[John Holmberg]

Full mountain bikes out there. Pivot. Rocky Mountain, Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain. You name it, they got it. And if you want to head up on north, get those skis and snowboards ready to go. And don't forget that new location coming very shortly, hopefully beginning of next month. Over there by the Hawes Trail at Power and McDowell. Keep an eye on actionrideshop.com for all your details and on our list. As soon as I can, Brett, this.

[Brady Bogan]

Next thing I'm going to say is for you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, people.

[Brady Bogan]

I just got an email from Leigh. It says you're not very empathetic towards the immigration situation. And I understand. She was nice, quick three liner. Basically saying you have to have more humanity than to just think that these raids are a good idea in separating families. She got it. I didn't read the whole thing. I get it. But then I turn to this and say empathy has many roads and most of the time it's 90% turned off by everybody. For instance, would we agree that there is a hunger issue in Africa? Africa. Can we all get on board the idea that there is a food problem in Africa?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's terrible food.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, there's also that I've had some of it. Jani at his festival. I'm like, this is why you people are hungry. It's not because of a lack of food. It's what you're stuffing in your gullet sucks. Also, I theorize that when Jani picked my lemon tree that time and nothing grew there for two years, that it wasn't the food. It was the African. It was. They are the ones who killed the food. He plucked that thing dead bones dry. And it's the most. You've seen my house. Those lemon trees I've got are insane.

[Toledo]

It didn't yield for two years.

[Brady Bogan]

Two years. Jenny plucked all the lemons off and that thing was dry for two years. It's Africans. Anyway, we can all start from the baseline that Africa, certain parts has an issue with. You know, what do they call that? Fan salmon. Yes. So then I see that the. And this is not because it's Africa. There's other places that are hungry too. But this. Brett's gonna laugh. But I did see empathy for that is thrown out the window when I see on the news that a Turkish woman broke the record for crushing watermelons between her thighs. Like, if we're wasting that much delicious watermelon for a world record.

[Brett]

You saw our wing eating contest.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

That is the most Chucking half eaten.

[Brady Bogan]

Wings out and then celebrating. All right, let's do it 10 more times with 20 more people.

[Brett]

Weigh what you didn't eat.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a lady in Turkey who squashed.

[Toledo]

You called it waste.

[Brady Bogan]

I took the rest home. Five watermelons was the record. You know how many people that feeds delicious fruits?

[Brett]

I'm not joining in this conversation.

[Brady Bogan]

60 seconds only using her thighs. And people were in the room celebrating. We've wasted giant lots of food. It's a thing you can sit and say. I'm not empathetic towards one thing, but when I'm watching a Turkish lady mash giant fruits between her thighs and meanwhile you want me to be empathetic towards the plight of people who are hungry and whatever else. And I know this is not the proper food to use. Africa's starving.

[John Holmberg]

I'm turning my mic.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we can't have him. And we got this going on. Yeah. And more. Can we have any other food for. Can we smash between our legs? Yeah. Do cantaloupe. Do something. Nobody eats cauliflower, but you don't put those delicious gigant. They're huge. They're giant food producers. And the seeds make more. Right?

[Brett]

That's where we've gone wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

We've gone crazy. Putting them between some Turkish weightlifters thighs and saying, go, go nuts. Go nuts. The hot dog eating contest. Every year at Nathan's, they should broadcast. They should have a moment in the middle of that where you see a ton of people from South Sudan sitting in a field looking at a big screen watching Joey Chestnut and whoever else is in that just fire hot dogs in their guts and they're just like.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, really puking it up all.

[Brady Bogan]

And then afterwards, really. So don't tell me about empathy just because you've got a top. I happen to be an asshole pointing in every direction. I've got empathy for a few things, but for the most part, human behavior, I'm not doing it. And the Guinness Book, they're to blame for this. She sat there and tried. The fact that she's got to practice that. That's more watermelon wasted. She's sitting at home going, okay, what's my current personal best? Four records. Five. You can't do it again. And then every Saturday she just goes and buys four perfectly delicious watermelon, puts them between her big Turkish thighs and mushes them together. Meanwhile, another kid dies over there in Sudan because he's not eating or Mississippi or wherever else there's food problems. I don't hear, there's got to be hungry people in Turkey.

[Toledo]

We have them here.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I'm saying. They're everywhere. And yet we waste all that food and then scream at each other over this. You got to be more empathetic towards a cause. No, I don't. No, I don't. We pick and choose our empathy. And that story made me laugh. And then I thought of Brett. Then I thought, how can I tell this story without Brett getting fired? I turned my mic off and you did a good job. But immediately I thought of, where's famine? Oh, boy, this is uncomfortable. Stupid Turkish lady. You shouldn't celebrate that. The more food we. We. You ever go to those bus and stuff at the end of the night and you know what they do with a lot of that when it's all kind of getting rotten? They bring it over to a food place, like for homeless people. It's not good enough for you anymore. This is the garbage nobody finished. And I saw another story about a lady who hasn't gone to the grocery store in four years because she went on this crusade to prove how much food we waste. She takes it out of dumpsters behind restaurants and grocery stores. She goes haven't gone to the grocery store in four years. Haven't eaten trash in four years. It's all wrapped up. Food.

[Toledo]

Well, they say tons of it. I was just gonna say the. The stat, like, of throwing stuff out of refrigerator. It's like 40%.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It's like tons of food that's not even cracked.

[Toledo]

It's a sell by date. It doesn't mean it's bad.

[Brady Bogan]

And they'll try it at the poor people grocery store. They'll give it over there to rancheros or whatever those are, and they'll have that for a little while. And then when there's no good there, they just put it in the dumpster and people will go, all right, well, this place every Tuesday drops off all the food that's like a questionable day or two past the second expiration. Because decent grocery stores have an expiration date that's called the sell by date. And then they stamp a new thing on it for the, like, the last chance, you know. Then they euthanize it and stuff it in the dumpster. And this lady for four years said, I haven't eaten anything out of an unwrapped box or like a container that has been open. She goes, it's all closed. I haven't gone to the grocery store in four and a half years.

[John Holmberg]

What are the fanduel odds that there's no tan line on her ring finger?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there's no question that you would not want to be around it. But her look, we're not getting into that side yuck to her as a person. But she's making a very valid point through her disgusting hippie gross nature. Yeah, but she's basically saying we waste so much food and we sit and scream, oh, we've got a food issue. And, like, there's food. There's poverty and food deserts. No, there's not. There isn't. There's commerce and there's. We can't sell food that's a couple weeks past because it'll make us. You know, there's lawyers involved. You get sick off of your kind bar that you were supposed to eat by December 12th, but you didn't, so it's a little stale.

[John Holmberg]

I'm that boy, though I'm bad with.

[Brady Bogan]

And you throw it out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I do.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? And she. And probably stuff. You're like, ah, we never got around to this. It's a full box. Not me. We don't buy a lot. Like, I don't have a lot of food in the house as it is. Just because of that cuz you'll end up tossing half of it.

[John Holmberg]

So even if it's Best Buy, I throw it, I'm done.

[Brady Bogan]

No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, I'm. I'm bad with dates. Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

If you see the date, it's. It dies in your brain. Yep. Like the day of. You don't give it an extra day.

[John Holmberg]

I'll go through the day and then it's done.

[Brady Bogan]

So like 5pm so. So the milk knows what like the sunset?

[John Holmberg]

Close the business. It's out in the trash.

[Brady Bogan]

No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I'm bad with that.

[Brady Bogan]

That's terrible. Well, this lady's been benefiting off of that.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Give her my address.

[Brady Bogan]

She can trash. She said she. The only thing that she's done, if I remember what she was saying right, was drinks. Like she'll occasionally find milk. Milk. That's the worst. That's the one that I wouldn't play with either.

[Toledo]

Milk. And. And you know, I'm not.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not messing around with dairy in a dumpster produce.

[Brett]

You can tell though. I mean you can't tell.

[Toledo]

Yeah, well you can tell on milk too.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I'll tell you with lettuce and stuff, you take the first couple peels off, you got good lettuce under there, right? Yeah. So it's just the shell starts to die, the stuff exposed to the air.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But yeah, she. She supposedly had never done it so.

[Brett]

You know, and all types of produce.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't get into her list, but she. Yeah, she said that mostly she was buying box died items that had been expired like cereal and was a big one and like a whole bunch of stuff that had not been open. They just throw it away.

[John Holmberg]

They can just read her bio on match.com you can find all about it.

[Brady Bogan]

Because you know, she ain't. She's definitely got a. Tired of being lonely is the top line. What are we gonna eat? Well, I go dumpster diving on her. Hello. Hello, crazy. I knew I was in trouble when she had the overhead shot. She's getting fat off dumpster fl. Anyway, don't give me your empathy email. I understand. I'm not very empathetic in a lot of situations and so are you. So don't. You don't have much empathy for that situation. Well, there's plenty of them. You don't either guarantee you were giggling at the watermelon crushing the minute you smash that between your legs. It's terrible. You know, we've had Nickelodeon shows and stuff where people are swimming in vats of rice. What Are you doing? It was all food. We could use that. Nope, she got five. And by the way, if you're interested, five's the record. If you think you're. I wouldn't even be curious to try that. How do you train for it?

[Toledo]

I didn't know.

[Brett]

Yeah, friend that did it. You know?

[Brady Bogan]

And then do you scoop it up and take it down to the shelter, like Ray.

[Brett]

You met Ray, and Ray was a boxer, and all of a sudden you got interested and you went to Ray's gym. You know, Friend Ears is knocking out Johnny.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you can knock down three or four watermelons in a minute. That's close to the record. Like, why would I. Why?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think I would hang out with anybody that said that.

[Brady Bogan]

They've got watermelon squishings all over their garage. Like, what are you doing? Is Gallagher coming back? No, I practice this pretty regular. I stopped by the store like you asked, and I brought you five or six watermelons. What are you doing? It's weird. Anyway, sorry. Brett, give us those songs.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Manson, Danzig, Hate, Breed. On the list, White Zombies. Welcome to Planet Mother Effort. For everything going on in the world right now because everybody's losing their mind. Slipknot, Authority Zero, Mexican Radio for the ice things. Terror, you're caught for ice. Run to the hills for Vince from Maiden Chimera, Machine Head, Dynast Nails, Dope, Debonair for the raids. Because that was Johnny Tran getting.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Rated in Fast and Furious, Static X and Fear Factory.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. Forgot about. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So somebody brought that up.

[Brady Bogan]

I was like, oh, well, yeah, Reach. I do like psychosocial, but I think also you're caught by terror because it's two minutes, and it's just. It's about how long the raid would last.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'll pull up the lyrics because there's a few.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it a cussy in that one? All right, let's just go with psychosocial. All right. If you can pull up sometime. Is he gonna be able to get that quick enough? Chair. You sure? I. I look at those people that dive in Dumpsters for food, though, is, you know, the same as those coupon clippers that lose their minds and wreck grocery stores. Y'all. This guy says, I was so depressed, I had the same thing happen to me that happened to Toledo. Knock on the door. Kid was five. I had to wait five months to find out if I was the dad or not.

[Toledo]

Cool.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh. So the one thing, though, it was a. Wasn't a Girl named Carla. Like Toledo's situation. Because I'm a decent man. I would never bang someone named Carla. He's thing against Carlos. All right. Oh, geez. The first line that starts strong and stays strong. All right, Terror it is. I'll get rid of this social. It's the first line. I got seven seconds to get to this. We're going to do it. All right. It's Terror. It's your wake up song. You're caught. It's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brett]

You thought that was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Just about that time for Brady to give you the news that he knows. Before we get to that, just a reminder, we're closing in just a few days away. I believe it's next Tuesday or Wednesday. When are we doing that? The beer thing? Tuesday, Is it Tuesday night? Tuesday night the 28th, we're going to go over there to Four Peaks in Tempe, and we're gonna knock out Holmberg van. We've got tons of it ready to go. The bottles have bottled. The glasses are ready to go. You can still pre order some of those six packs. I don't know if all the. If we've gone through the first 98 yet. They never tell me, but that means you get a commemorative glass to go along with it. But the first 98, six packs to go out the door, you get a little extra gift. All the rest of it, you just get six packs. But those are pretty cool, too, because the bottles are neat and it's for a limited time. We bring it back annually. Annually. It's on tap right now if you want to go there and you're like, what are you telling us all about this beer? Well, all the proceeds that we get from each sale of one of those goes to the Humane Society. So it's delicious beer at an awesome place with amazing people, and it goes right over the Humane Society when we're all done. That is a great deal. So thanks to our friends over at Four Peaks. They're the best. They are the best. So we thank them. Home bird bound, ready to go. Just go to 98kupd.com and order it up right away. Way right now it's time for Brady to give you all the news only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Brady reporter.

[Toledo]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi.

[Toledo]

Happy National Hot Sauce Day. Okay, the top state where Americans consume the most hot sauce per capita oh per capita. Per capita.

[Brady Bogan]

Rhode island.

[Toledo]

You're close with Texas. Texas is about fourth I think. Think. But New Mexico tops list. 31.9 ounces per customer.

[Brady Bogan]

They like it spicy.

[John Holmberg]

That's all hatch chili stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Love chilies.

[Toledo]

Arizona comes in at number five.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't ever add hot sauce to anything. Ever. It comes as is. I don't need more.

[Toledo]

Ever the top choice in. In the Northeast and Midwest. Frank's right.

[Brady Bogan]

Hot. So as I understand it people put that on everything.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't. I'm not a hot sauce guy. I guess it's just a inter. Caucasian. Culinary Caucasian. That's.

[John Holmberg]

I don't go crazy with it.

[Brady Bogan]

But I. I don't put it on anything. I never think to. I don't. I've never once gone this needs hot sauce. I just don't.

[John Holmberg]

Breakfast and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Breakfast nothing.

[John Holmberg]

The breakfast I love and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Eggs. Just straight up eggs. I eat. I eat them right out of the shell. I don't need hot sauce for anything.

[Toledo]

Put in my soup.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Don't do that. I don't even know if I have any. I don't think there's any in my house. I don't have any need for it. Nothing. I never will go to it. I'm also very boring. Food is just sustenance. When I eat it's just like wow. I barely breathe well. Yeah. And I eat so fast it's pointless. I. I literally truly I. I make people upset because I just like Megan's like you didn't even heat that up. It's nothing. That's gonna be disgusting. It's bread cheese and a scrambled egg from this place called Eat Clean Phoenix. It's great. They send you these little pre made meals. They're little snack things. This breakfast sandwich they make like a bread cheese egg bread. And I don't even put it in the microwave. I don't. It's probably would taste better with stuff on it. I just want to get through it. I don't want. I don't want my meal to be like making love. I just want it to be something that gets me through the next couple minutes.

[Toledo]

Couple of basis fun facts. When Guns N Roses was trying to figure out the name for their band in 1985 one of their two options. One was Heads of Amazon. The other was AIDS.

[Brady Bogan]

That would have been strong at the time time nobody nobody would have batted an eye at the band AIDS like Ryan White would have been would had to change the name AIDS probably.

[Toledo]

It's estimated that There are about 3 million ships wrecked and sitting at the bottom of the world's oceans. And they're worth billions of dollars between their artifacts and treasures.

[Brady Bogan]

And I understand there's also a Bigfoot in one of them. So you might want to think about expanding your search.

[Brett]

What would the sea creature be?

[Brady Bogan]

Bigfoot. Toledo. We're just going to keep them focused. By the way how come they never name a disease and say one of the original names of AIDS was Guns and Roses. We originally almost had Guns and Roses. But because it was for gays and killing people we didn't know. So we changed it to AIDS.

[John Holmberg]

Change it to 21 pilots.

[Brady Bogan]

It was 21 pilots for a little while. Adamant. And then just AIDS. Which was a weight loss pill in the late 70s and early 80s.

[Brett]

Right. I remember the ads for those.

[Brady Bogan]

Chocolate.

[Brett]

Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You ate this chalk. And then I've got AIDS and I'm losing weight like crazy. There's a real commercial Something. I don't know what it was but the commercials are hilarious. In hindsight. Didn't age well. I've got AIDS and the weight's just falling off.

[John Holmberg]

How bad it is.

[Toledo]

And I feel great.

[Brady Bogan]

A Y ds. I've never looked better. Thanks. Aids. Oh you did what? Now you named it. Wow. We're screwed.

[Toledo]

Someone posed this question to straight men online. If you walked into a room with 1,000 single women around your age.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

How many of them do you think would be attracted to you?

[Brady Bogan]

Hopefully none. There's a thousand single women in her 50s.

[Brett]

The dilemma of getting divorced at an older age.

[John Holmberg]

Still go younger.

[Brady Bogan]

What is this? You know who you sound like right now? I did Jigsaw. You presented something I'm not interested in at all. How many women would be attracted to me out of a thousand.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

If I walked in a room room of 52 year old ladies.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

00. Not one. Go downstairs if now. Did they know that? No. Hold on.

[Brett]

Are you married?

[John Holmberg]

Loves looking at your.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where are you?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't look at my ass. But they don't mean they're. I'm wearing them right now and they're still not looking at my face again. I'm the guy who gets. Nobody would find me attractive.000 out of a thousand women that don't know. Okay. This guy's going to come in. Judge him on whether or not he's attracted. There'd be people going he's not bad. But nobody's gonna be like how attractive. They wouldn't do it.

[Toledo]

42%.

[Brady Bogan]

You too. Brady. You're also a zero.

[Toledo]

Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

Nobody is gonna look at you and not. And this isn't an offensive thing. Nobody's gonna look at you and go, wow, attractive. Now your personality's great, you're fun, you're fine. But nobody's turning 1,000. You're not turning heads.

[Toledo]

59 year old women, none of them.

[Brady Bogan]

Are gonna find you attractive. They'll find you.

[Toledo]

I would agree.

[Brett]

Hold on.

[Brady Bogan]

Suitable.

[Brett]

He's on, he's on something here.

[Brady Bogan]

Not attractive. Suitable.

[Toledo]

I would say out of a thousand women, I'm with the 42% that said zero. 25 of the women out of a thousand.

[Brett]

Because here's the thing, he's going to walk in in that Callaway shirt and some One of those 59 year olds.

[Brady Bogan]

Is going to go, he golfs, he might have some cash.

[Brett]

Exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

They're not looking at you. If you walked in naked, how many are going to be attracted? Are you?

[Toledo]

Zero. 59 women.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Yeah. There's got to be.

[Brady Bogan]

At least there wouldn't. Nope. Not just visually. You got to charm them. That and, and that's not a shot at you. That's 95% of people. There are 5% of the society is decent looking. 5%, the rest of us all kind.

[Brett]

Of decent looking naked.

[Brady Bogan]

Nobody's looking at me when I walk in a room. Brett's got some charm. Problem is then he starts talking. He's the opposite of us talking about. He walks in the room, be like, charm. What are you doing at this saying, I rest my case. What? Brett walks in my guinea char. I'll say this cuz I'm a realist. Brett walks in a room of a thousand ladies in their 50s. They're like, oh, not bad. And then he goes, hey, you too. And they're like, oh, Christ, not one of these guys. Oh, no. I walk in and they're like, yuck, how long has he been dying of cancer? And then I'm like, hey, you're in.

[Toledo]

The wrong age group.

[Brady Bogan]

I tell a couple of jokes, I'm goofing around like, he's fun. Yeah, I'm fine. A few of them would hate me immediately. That's gonna happen. But if you give me a couple hours with that gaggle of expired.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you do that?

[Brady Bogan]

Menopausal broads. I don't know.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Why am I trying to win them over is the question.

[Toledo]

We'd like you to walk into a room. Let's reverse women. No, thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, let's reverse it. I walk into a room of a thousand women my age. How many do I find attractive. Same number. Now if it's a game where every woman there is, like, knows that they're supposed to either yes or no me on attraction attractive, then I'd win some. Some battles. But if it's just a game where a thousand ladies see me come in, none of them are going, wow, did you see the guy that just walked in? It's not happening. It's just not happening. It's a zero, that number zero. And my friend, it is for you as well. And for Toledo, it's probably four or five max. I'll take that four. Maybe four or five. And even then, they're not like real happy about it. Not sure sure it's true.

[Brett]

People need more awareness tree.

[Brady Bogan]

I've need to be more aware how.

[Brett]

Bad my hairline is in the last four years.

[Brady Bogan]

You're no, you're no. You're not in some sort of peak physical condition that's pulling people's heads around.

[Toledo]

Exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

Nobody in this room aside from Brett is going to visually attract anyone. But Brett's in last place as far as like, once he starts talking. I don't know what you're talking about. And we all know what I'm talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Toledo]

How you broads do it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. All that has to happen is all. All that has to happen is the first girl that comes up to Bret. Oh, I find you very attractive. How you doing? My name's Brett. I'm Samantha Coons. It's. It's over. Can't happen.

[Toledo]

An annual gallup.

[Brady Bogan]

My name's Amanda Jig. Okay. Why it's Dick, in fact, and Brady. It makes me upset that you think you. I'd woo some ladies. Zero. Number is 25 is so arrogant. Out of a thousand. That's almost like you're saying you were chosen by God. Out of a thousand. That's so high. I think that's a lot. So high. You are not winning any visual love contest. None. I love you. You're a great guy. But the only reason that I like you is because of your personality.

[Brett]

You don't have that chance. Just walking into a room of a thousand people.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not dragging you out going, wait, how often do you and I walk in? Yeah, how often do you and I in a room. Brady, we're about to walk in a room. Get a load of the eyeballs. Turn. It's not happening. You've seen 10,000 people in a day and none of them have looked at you. It's getting moist in here. Get a little him and I Feel like I'm in Florida. All these broads gunking up for me. Why am I not 25? You might as well have just said I got gold comes out of my ass. You're. That's. It's arrogant bull crap. The Lord chose me. Oh yeah, you're the chosen one.

[Toledo]

Labs are swelling zero.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And that's when they. Exactly right. Swelling shut is a defense mechanism. I know you hate hearing that, but man oh man, is it true. There's a reason you even deep down have never entered a beauty company contest. You know.

[Brett]

Come on John. The international man of mystery.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a mystery. Believes this. I hate that stuff. I hate when people look. I'd win over probably. Come on. 25, 52 year old broad seen it all. They look at you, the only thing they'll do is like he'll do. They're not looking at you in any other way.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Toledo]

After hearing where did you post this?

[Brett]

Because the texter just sent this and says. What do you mean? Come on ladies.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that guy right there. He's drawing no love. That's my post oblique surgery. I had to wear a compression shirt for a couple days and I tore it off.

[Brett]

What are the straps on top?

[Brady Bogan]

It's. I gotta wear the whole thing. It tightens your whole body up. It hurts. I had to wear that for a week. Awful. Yeah, that's a not a flattering photo. I don't know cuz it was up online. I had to pull these pads that were catching all the blood out of the hole that was sliced.

[Brett]

I remember those. That was gross.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way. I'm in the best shape in the room. That's pathetic.

[Brett]

You are Without a doubt.

[Toledo]

I'm going to go 50 now.

[Brady Bogan]

Zero.

[Brett]

Come on John. Celebrate Me Home starts playing 25 jumps to 50.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady and I walk in together and he's like we'll get one. Nope. Add. Add another thousand ladies to the room. Unless one of them's and even then they're going to wait for the next door to open.

[Toledo]

Now what if you walked into that room with $100 bill taped to your forehead?

[Brady Bogan]

That's different. And then again you don't want that one either. That's not what the old joke man.

[Toledo]

You'Re handsome.

[Brady Bogan]

Better be more than 100 bucks to attract some problems. Exactly. I got $100 worth of clothes on.

[John Holmberg]

At least he walks in my cue cyclebox.

[Brady Bogan]

How's it going ladies? Celebrate me home. All right everybody line up. The ones who find me attractive. The hall next Door is open as well.

[Toledo]

And I'll choose from there.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, right. All right. Yeah, I see what you're. Okay. Take your time. Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know why the line's taking so long to start. But just take your time. Don't trample each other. Okay.

[Toledo]

It's 6:00. It's almost dinner time.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, this is exactly it. Joey says don't sell yourself or Brady short John people's head turn when you two walk into a room together because no one's ever seen the number 10 walking 01 from behind 25.

[John Holmberg]

You guys are twins.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you talking about? The 1125 desperate, solid, blind, awful witch women that just smell you.

[Toledo]

There's got to be some.

[Brady Bogan]

Is one Helen Keller. Like she's just got to touch your face and even then she's going to turn around. Who brought Rocky Dennis? It's not happening. Zero. The answer zero. And it's a hard zero.

[Toledo]

This next story reminded me of a situation you got in once. This guy named Jose Turan Jr. Was included in a text, a group text because his old. The one relative in the family had that phone number.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Jose gets it. So he's using this text and it's talking about this baptism of 21 month old baby.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Toledo]

And Jose basically text back, how much you want for the Baptist baby? I'll give you 500 grand for the baby.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh my God. Take that deal.

[Toledo]

He was serious because he likes to harvest the organs and that's what he does with. If he gets a hold of.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, he harvest baby organs?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, he doesn't keep it.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I'm sorry. And the baby was nine months old.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[Toledo]

He purchased the babies for their organs and was willing to pay up to. He could say. He said, if you'll take bitcoin, I'll do that. Or five hundred hundred thousand in cash.

[Brady Bogan]

As a starting point for a baby's.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Guts.

[Toledo]

He said he was willing to meet the same night for the purchase. Confirmed that he knew the address of the church because it was all talked.

[Brady Bogan]

About in the man, oh man.

[Toledo]

Text group.

[John Holmberg]

What a sick ass.

[Toledo]

There's a picture of.

[Brady Bogan]

And this was the dude trying to buy it. And then they turned him in.

[Toledo]

Yeah, and it's the second arrest too because week previous he was arrested for a road rage incident.

[Brady Bogan]

It was just. Yeah, he needed some money. He was falling short on his baby supply. Fact of the matter is he's made that deal before.

[John Holmberg]

Veal or something. I mean, he's.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I Mean, it's not like. Yeah, yeah, I guess. But he's not like dabbling in this for the first time. Like 500 grand is not your first try. You got $500,000, you've been selling some.

[Toledo]

Baby meat or he says that and he's setting it up like, oh yeah, we'll go there.

[Brady Bogan]

Well sure, he's gonna steal your baby. You're probably not getting, but get money up front. If you're gonna sell your baby for half a million dollars, you can't expect payment after delivery. Valparaiso, Indiana by the way, Steve Malone said, Jesus Christ, Bigfoot's more real than Brady's 25 women. You'd find Bigfoot fast. And you'd find 25 ladies in a room that think Brady's hot. At least I'm realistic about it. He thinks I'm being mean. I'm zero too.

[Toledo]

This 48 year old woman, Jennifer Lee Wilson, was sentenced to six years in prison with one year suspended, served for time being probation.

[Brady Bogan]

This really rattled him, this just unattractive thing.

[Toledo]

She's unattractive?

[Brady Bogan]

He didn't pre read?

[Toledo]

No. She was arrested and charged with attempted murder after sat. Oh, this is the fat lady.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we got this.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. Yeah, this is the one Brett talked about yesterday. How come we didn't bring up the fat lady killing that kid? I didn't even know about it.

[Toledo]

10 year old boy.

[Brett]

Yeah, give the specific.

[Brady Bogan]

He's 10.

[Brett]

You had, you had the.

[Toledo]

Yeah, he was 4 foot 10 inches tall, 90 pounds and she's 4 11.

[Brady Bogan]

She's a foot an inch taller than him.

[Toledo]

340 pounds.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, the kid is 4 10?

[Toledo]

4 10, 90 and 90 pounds.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's 10 years old and she's a full grown woman.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

And she's only 411 and 400 pounds. Oh my God, she's all neck Jabba with glasses. She is all neck solo. What did he do?

[Toledo]

She sat on him to disappear and he suffocated.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you know what? Is that? And that's his mom or is that a babysitter?

[Toledo]

That's the, the mom.

[Brady Bogan]

That's Valparaiso, Indiana. That's 15 minutes south of where I grew up. That's where my uncle Dennis lives. Drunkle Dennis, going through some stuff, thinking about your kid.

[Brett]

I just remember Terre Haute and Valparaiso are where you sent your money for Columbia House.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. Terra Haute was it. Terra Ho's on the other side. But Valparaiso, those are Valpo. The schools are. But everybody there looks just like her. That's. She's a valpo cheerleader. Yeah. Yeah. And even she. I'll tell you this. She's faster than Michael Phelps.

[Toledo]

No, she's not.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way, how old is she?

[John Holmberg]

I'm in the water issue.

[Brady Bogan]

In her 30s or 40s? 48.

[Brett]

All right, so she's.

[Brady Bogan]

She would not find Brady attractive.

[Toledo]

She's out of my demo.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, attractive. No, she didn't. Yeah, just because you think she's saying.

[Toledo]

That women or hot to find me attractive.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, I'm not saying. But I'm. But there's another misnomer that you think if you don't find them attractive, that they must find you attractive because they're. You're. You're out of their league.

[Brett]

That's common, though, for everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that is. That's. But it's. But it's not true.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It doesn't mean because she's gross and has few options that automatically you're on her.

[Toledo]

She the fat with her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's enough of it.

[Brady Bogan]

That was rude. Brady can hear you. Oh, you met her? I'm seeing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I said her.

[Brady Bogan]

At what point do you, like, get off of the kid and realize what you've done, though?

[Brett]

When his muffled screams stop.

[Toledo]

I guess for her, she figured five minutes was long enough.

[Brett]

Five minutes?

[Brady Bogan]

Is that. What are we pointing at? Oh, you got something here. Oh. Oh, no. What is this? I think so. Oh, there it is. Oh, this is Freddy walking into the room of this house. Come on and play, lady Just swing the door open, Willie. Be a dream or a dud. Congratulations, ladies. It's your super bowl. My name's Brady. What? Oh, this? Oh, this? Fruit and veg. Why you throwing it?

[Toledo]

Step to the wall.

[Brady Bogan]

I know it's going to be pretty fast moving, but I'd like all the ladies attracted to me to stand over to one side.

[Toledo]

Who am I picking from?

[Brady Bogan]

Do they speak English? How come nobody's moving? All right. Right. O attractivo, Brady. Okay, it seems to be moving a little bit slow. We're all shy out there. Like I said, Brady's in the room. Now get a little closer and feast your eyes on this prize. All right, ladies. I know who's gonna be. Who's gonna want to go first. All right, I'll be in the other room. Maybe you just need some time. But, Kenny. Celebrate me. That was his love song to the girl. Remember? The girl sent a tape to her about how she should feel about him coming back. It wasn't about, like, baby, I love you, or can't get enough.

[Toledo]

Those are, those are mixed in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Celebrate me home. That was the first one you came up with great stuff.

[Toledo]

On January 10th, police in Alabama were called to a Starbucks. Someone's pet monkey jumped from the owner's car into the drive through window and started attacking an employee.

[Brady Bogan]

They still got to belt those down.

[Toledo]

The primate was a aotis night monkey.

[Brady Bogan]

Never seen one of them show you a picture. Give me that. You can't just have like. How is it that like my dogs are. Are seat belted into the car. Oh, man.

[Toledo]

And there was actually two monkeys in.

[Brady Bogan]

There because it looks like a stuffed animal. It looks like a little teddy bears. That thing came shooting out of the car at you. Oh, she's a woman.

[Toledo]

And two monkeys in the car. Not a joke.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't inflate the balloon. This thing is a stuffed animal and it shoots out of a car into a window.

[Toledo]

Not only that, it jumps on the lady's, the barista's arm and then starts chewing on her ear.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Toledo]

And then grabs the arm of another employee. And then the employee grabs the monkey, kind of throws, jumps back into the window of the car. The lady, the owner, Tammy Garrett gardener, she refused to comment to the media, but she did stop and go into the Starbucks to make sure everything's okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Get her stuff back.

[Toledo]

Yeah, well, the, the barista end up having to get stitches.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, and like tetanus shots and stuff.

[Brett]

All kinds of shots.

[John Holmberg]

Shouldn't be having a wild animal like that. Look how old she is. Look at her pants.

[Brady Bogan]

I know, she's wrinkled up like. Oh, for those of you listening, the only part of that woman show showing. Yeah, the only part of the woman showing in the photo is a finger and like her hand. Yeah, but you have aged her.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. She's like 90.

[Brady Bogan]

That. Look at the.

[Toledo]

Look, she's not dead.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, please.

[Brett]

Oh, come on.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at that now.

[John Holmberg]

Tell you, that's the Crypt Keeper.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe she's just a good woman. She'd been washing dishes all day. Got a little pruning now. Yeah, there you go.

[Toledo]

If she was 90, that car would have been in the side of the car.

[Brady Bogan]

Imagine her monkeys driving around with the palm, olive and this. Yeah, those are some old hands. See, I told you. Looks like they got arthritis. Knuckles. Knuckles too.

[Toledo]

See if there's a picture of Tammy Gardner from.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's Alabama. But her face. Okay, look, as you get closer, you see her nose is right there. She doesn't look old at all. She's got bad hands, but the face Looks young. It's hard to see there, but that isn't an old lady's face. But she has old lady hands. I'll give you.

[Toledo]

There's a null on the lady on the baristas hand.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that would. That little thing with those gigantic eyes shooting out of a car. I'd crap my pants. You can't have that.

[Toledo]

She took off because she don't want anyone taking her monkeys.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you got to keep those. You work hard for that. But also know that if you want to keep them in the car, you can't roll the window all the way down and have them running free in the car.

[Toledo]

I got a three radio videos. First one's a woman pouring in. I don't know, it's like you put it into a Coke bottle and it fizzes up. It's not the. What was it?

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. It might be Mentos.

[Toledo]

It's not Mentos, but it I. It might be Pop rocks.

[Brady Bogan]

Pop Rocks and Coke. It makes a bomb.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

This is so cool. I used to love this stuff. Close, close, close. Oh, it's gonna blow up in her face. She's overdoing it. She's too close. You gonna put a whole thing in there? Oh, well, this is not good. Close it. Oh, this is not good. Yeah, you gotta. All right.

[Brett]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Dry ice bomb. That thing's gonna blow up in your face. And if you want, you can do it, but talk and move. That's an ice. That's a dry ice bomb, you know, Run. Idiot. Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz she's an idiot.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on. She sat there a bunch of rocks.

[Brett]

So she got shrapnel from rocks too.

[Brady Bogan]

What a jerk. So that's she's pouring. I don't know what that is.

[Brett]

You don't think it's Pop Rocks?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. Made it bubble out.

[Brett]

I think it takes time for them to do that. No, because it's. The Mentos are what goes right away.

[Brady Bogan]

So are pop rocks. I don't think BR just likes when she blows. And they did it in like a rock pile. So it's worse. We used to do the dry ice bombs in the bottom of the pool.

[Brett]

Flanik used to do those.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh my God.

[Brett]

Remember those? Out in the desert.

[Brady Bogan]

In the desert. JJ and Larry and everybody came to my house and we got like tons of dry ice and about 52 liter bottles of Sprite and we're just chucking them all over the neighborhood and everyone and just waiting and just in the distance you just Hear, Yeah. Over way back, the old neighborhood, our Acadia post divorce. This is what I did with my time, my friends. Somebody brings up the point and say, hey, ask Brady if it was a thousand Special Olympians, how many are attracted to him? Oh, I don't like where this is not one. You think all of them, he says. My thought is they would all run and waddle away. It's true.

[Toledo]

Next one's a semi pro wrestling accident, top turnbuckle.

[Brady Bogan]

Gonna do one of those backflips onto the front. Flip off. Oh, missed the table it was supposed to land on and went face into the earth.

[Toledo]

I like how the other guy slinks off the mat, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, because you got to get away from the corpse. Oh, man, that is a face into concrete. Sorry.

[Brett]

And that wrestler. That wrestler commented on this and goes, here we go again. Because apparently it's an old video and it resurfaces all the time.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, here we go.

[Brett]

Survived it. Here we go again.

[Brady Bogan]

His name's Sean Phoenix. I can't spell it, though, because right side of my brain is collapsed in my head. That is rough.

[Toledo]

Next one's against more amateur bull fighting. Or they release the bull in front of the crowd.

[Brady Bogan]

400 people in the ring.

[Brett]

Yeah, there's a lot of amateur.

[Brady Bogan]

They've all got cakes. This guy tried to jump up. Oh, he got caught immediately by the horn in that Superman. The bull has picked his favorite. He's okay. Yeah, but I mean, it hurts.

[John Holmberg]

He's gimping away.

[Brady Bogan]

It hurts. He looks like the lead singer of Fishbone. It found like, that's Fishbone's lead singer. Joke's on you, bull. I think he's got AIDS in him. Did that guy die of aids? Am I thinking of the wrong dude?

[John Holmberg]

I think. I think it's.

[Brady Bogan]

Anyway, people don't remember Fishbone. And maybe I misremembered fish. I love fish.

[Brett]

Fishbone.

[Brady Bogan]

Some of them could have sworn that guy died. I might be thinking of a wrong band.

[Brett]

I think he might be right, though.

[Brady Bogan]

Either way, Fishbone, he went crazy. I know. That late singer, Fishbone went into an institution for a little while. Yeah. I just don't remember if he passed away. I thought he died of aids.

[John Holmberg]

That's weedy music.

[Brady Bogan]

Was that or King's X? Did King's X guy die of aids? Aids? Or is he still alive? Somebody. Anyway, somebody died of aids. We'll look it up. Google it. Who's died of aids? That looks like the guy in the bull video. It's a tough one, man. Somebody Also said, John, you're also delusional. Did you say 5% of the population is good looking? 1%. And that's just their faces. Then you get down to 50% of that 1% has a nice body. That's probably true. Also. You get down to, like the full package. You're under 1% of the general population now. Tolerable attraction, like very. Women have more pretty. They're more pretty women than there are men because they try harder. And we also look like for. We look. Women don't think so. We look past a lot of flaws. They look past all our flaws because that's all we are. But they. The things they think we care about. We. You don't. Eyelashes. If you have them, you're fine. Eyebrows just if you have them, we're fine.

[John Holmberg]

I like fine tip Sharpie.

[Brady Bogan]

Not the you like. I like nice eyebrows. No, that's not eyebrows, is it? That's paint. I'm talking about if you. That's what I'm saying. They do things that they think we care about. Yeah, none of us care about that. Not a one of us looks and.

[John Holmberg]

Goes, well, they do it for the other broads. They do it for.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they do it for the pressure between each other. And then they blame us for. Yeah, it's not our fault you went crazy with your eyebrows. I never said I didn't care about your eyebrows. Hey, by the way, also didn't ever notice them. So long as they're not insane like some sort of mad scientist, nobody cares. I mean, if you look like Luigi Mangione, we're going to say, oh, Jesus, you need to do something about that. But 95% of eyebrows are just fine. And then they shave them off and tattoo some way up on their head like a jack o lantern. It's crazy. Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll start off with fun in the strip club. Oh, this is one I haven't seen in the strip club before.

[Brady Bogan]

All right. Oh, she's shooting fire out of her honey hole. She's got a match in it. And then she's just spraying hairspray out of it. Is it gonna fire back? Oh, my God, the wrist. The risk involved in this, this is remarkable.

[Toledo]

Danger.

[Brady Bogan]

She's a little soft. Oh, she's a pro. She's letting the candle burn to the nub, and she's still shooting fire out of it. What's that? Oh, it's KOD Atlanta. This is an Atlanta strip club. They step it up down there. Wow. I've never seen Anything like that?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, that's pretty much all.

[Brady Bogan]

Blow it out already. Blow it out.

[Toledo]

Or that was the buckeye after party.

[Brady Bogan]

How long does. Yeah, that might. V. Might be Ryan Day's wife. Wow. She. She is no joke that. I think even the candle wax would hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Puffed out some sort of smoke. I think she might be smoking that thing.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And here's a trick billiard shot.

[Brett]

Oh, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. Hot girl on the pool table. Oh, whoa. She is putting her private parts over the hole. And now. Oh, he's using her butt crack as the. That leverage thing.

[Brett]

The other crack.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's gonna hit this. And he puts. He puts the ball in the pocket. He used her ass as one of those. What is that claw thing they use? I don't know what they call it.

[Toledo]

The bridge.

[Brady Bogan]

The bridge. The bridge.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. There it is. Bridge. Which he didn't need, by the way. That was totally superfluous. But she's willing.

[John Holmberg]

There's some fountain action.

[Toledo]

Clamped it a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, we're at a water fountain. Oh, there's a girl in a trash can. And just her. What did I just watch? So there's a girl's legs and ass hanging out of a public trash can.

[Toledo]

Trash beads.

[Brady Bogan]

And now she's just peeing in the air, making a blast. She's peeing straight up out of the.

[Toledo]

Trash can to a drinky fountain.

[Brady Bogan]

Ass is pointed right up at the sky. And now it's looks like a powerful, strong bladder there. She does.

[John Holmberg]

And we'll just. We're just gonna end this.

[Brady Bogan]

What am I looking at? Oh, there's a lady. Okay. Having sex with the top of a bottle of Hennessy. She's pretty good too. Like, that's a good body.

[Brett]

She just have a camel in there too?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think that might be that. She's from the Boom Boom Room. She's. That's nice.

[John Holmberg]

See? Nothing disgusting today.

[Brady Bogan]

Still drinking the Hennessy out of the bottle too. She's banging a bottle of Hennessy. That's just not fair. That should be an ad for Hennessy. You'd sell out.

[John Holmberg]

Especially at the Boom Boom Room.

[Brady Bogan]

The Boom Boom Room wouldn't have mean no Hennessy left on the Planet if that was the business billboard. Anyway, it's 8:30 on the dot.

[Brett]

John, does the number for you go up at all if they see a picture of you as a teenager?

[Brady Bogan]

No. God, no. It gets worse. This is the best I've ever looked. It's pathetic. Now if I'm walking away. Hey, that's happened several times, Kristen.

[John Holmberg]

Every time you're walking downstairs.

[Brady Bogan]

If I walk away from a woman, they're. They might be attracted. Walking towards them. Might as well be Frank Frankenstein. I might as well have an AR15. My face is an active shooter. It's like people run from it.

[Brett]

Another one says, brady, I hate to tell you this, but in a room of a thousand of your compatriots, you're not hugging one of them.

[Brady Bogan]

That is true. Brady's age group, that, that is a. That's a pretty sad batch of who's attracted to who. A bunch of single 62 year old women and Brad ladies. I'm throwing it up there a little bit for you. Yeah.

[Toledo]

You son of them.

[Brady Bogan]

I assume we can't get this arranged for another couple years, so it's not going well, right? No, it is not. We can't find it. We can't find a thousand ladies. Every time we do get a few, there's like a big suicide, like a mass group. As the day grows closer, the number drops below a thousand, not a one. And Brett, you would walk out of there empty handed too.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Fishbone and King's X are both playing with Tool in the Dominican Republic in March. So neither are dead.

[Brett]

I'm thinking let's go to the Dominican.

[Brady Bogan]

The doctor is supposed to be beautiful. Just because it's attached to Haiti doesn't mean it's horrible. Anyway, there you go everybody. That's your Brady report. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock riddler radio station.

[Brett]

You thought that was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good Christ. Ah, burn your building down if that's the case. Interesting talk, considering Brady's deluge of walking into a room of a thousand women his age. And how many would find him attractive? Clearly the answer is zero. Absolute zero. Anything multiplied by it is still zero. Jeremy fires over and says, what if you walked into a room of a thousand gay guys? Which one of the guys on the show pulls the most ass?

[John Holmberg]

You?

[Brady Bogan]

I think it's me. And then Brady, he's right behind. Behind me. Because he's got that build that they like. There's a.

[John Holmberg]

There's a whole build.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the bear thing, There's a whole category of little stout fuzzy dudes. Yeah, I would definitely be. And remember Dale? Hell Trace, he said to go to a gay bar with me. He'd pull more ass than I'm. Like, there is nothing. Like again. I told him that all those gays would run, grab pitchforks and fire and chase them out of the place. There's no possible way. Dale pulls ass fast. I would win the gay guy thing out of a thousand. I've seen it now here. Yes, you've already witnessed this now, out of a thousand men just finding me attractive, I still think that number stays very low. But gay guys don't look at your face. That's not what they're. They're looking at what you're working with. And unfortunately, I have a track butt and that thing will suck them in.

[John Holmberg]

This is one competition I'm not disappointed to lose here.

[Brady Bogan]

And. And I'd say Toledo. I don't know. It's somewhere between you and Toledo. It's again, though, just based on Toledo. Based on being attractive. You're going to walk in there. I think you give off a huge homophobic vibe.

[Brett]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not going to walk into. Hey, how you twist. I think they feel that you would, though. I do. And I'm not even. Like, you walk in the room. I have a feeling you're going to.

[Brett]

Do that in unfamiliar places. You walk in with resting dick.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think. I think that's true. I think you're mischievous. Brett walks in, everybody's like, who's this guy?

[Brett]

You're reading the room, but you don't see your faces.

[John Holmberg]

I read the room everywhere.

[Brady Bogan]

When Brett reads a room, though, he's like one of those cat clocks. The eyes just go left and right like he's up to something terrible. Brady and I walk into the gay room and the party just got there. I'd say out of a thousand attractive ten, twelve guys find me attractive. End of the night, I'm nine hundred of them.

[Brett]

Brady, you're at five.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady, you're five to seven. One hundred and fifty. Because there's a good port. Like a quarter of them aren't interested at all in your build. But I'm.

[Brett]

But there's a big portion of them that are.

[Brady Bogan]

We're like an SAT question. Not all gays are attracted to Brady in the style. But all gays will have sex with you. But not all of them are attractive. With me it's different. Like they. Gay guys like me and I don't know if they'd all. Yeah, they would. 900. 100 of them would be disappointed concerning too. Twinkie. You know, the. The ones that are kind of butch tops, they want to wrestle and the Twinkie ones want to be taken care of. And they think that I have Just enough of a build that I can ha. I can manhandle a twink, and I can get into a good scrap with a big one. Then there's the real bougie. Like Michael, my neighbor. He's not. He wouldn't do it. Actually. Yes, he would. If. If I told Michael, I'm like, I want you to take.

[Toledo]

Give it a whirl.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yeah. I think I want you to make me un. Unholy.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna plug that up.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Yeah. I think the unholy thing is I'm gonna Sam Smith. That thing was. Yeah. Keep my business clean. But if I gave Michael the opportunity, he'd take it. Yeah. That's a thing. Bradwood goes, you looked at me like you've got that. I was sick. That all work? That's right. I walk in. All right, ready? You ready? No. Here we go. Ooh. Hello, ladies. It's fun. Which one do you want first? The chunky one, and then you're the cherry on top. Yep. I'll wait. It's a whole lot better than the absolute disgust we'd get walking into a room of ladies in our 60s. Brady has to walk into a room of ladies in their early 60s and get dismantled by them with that same song going. 500 of them would. 500 of them would check box lesbian at the end of their meeting. And I'd be. They'd kill themselves. If I was their option. If I was the last man on earth, Thousand ladies would kill. Kill themselves. It would happen so fast, and they'd be right. Toledo. I don't even know where you are in the gay world. Like, you walk into a room of a thousand gays.

[Brett]

Pretty vanilla. So there's a lot that I can meld with.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the killer bread guy.

[Brett]

Really?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know where I'd put you in that. I can't really even throw a dart at it.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't either.

[Brady Bogan]

You walk into a room of a thousand gays, how many find Toledo attractive? I mean, there's got to be a.

[Brett]

Few, but I can't different between, like, attractive and passable. Like passable to them.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you're passable all the way through. Yeah, but that's not attractive.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying. 10 that find me attractive. Yeah, I go with that.

[Toledo]

I see.

[Brett]

That's fair. Out of a thousand.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Ah, I'm gonna go Brady on this one. I'm gonna go 100. I'm gonna go 100.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Men 100. 10% of the room that wants.

[John Holmberg]

Every time you do better with the.

[Brady Bogan]

Ladies than you would, the men attract. No way. You're. You're getting into personality. You've jumped ahead, too. Candy land your back. Yeah.

[Toledo]

A thousand men and a thousand women. You'll do better with the men.

[Brady Bogan]

No way. Toledo. Let's. Okay, let's all do this.

[Toledo]

All men want to do.

[Brady Bogan]

No, listen.

[Toledo]

Get it on.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but you're asking about him finding them attractive.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Banging them. It's street urchins. They'll do it with anything. They're men. But you remember all of us when.

[Brett]

Brandon Lee was in here?

[Brady Bogan]

All of us get in tuxedos and walk into those rooms. Right. Talia was going to do okay with the ladies in a tuxedo. You're going to get shot by a penguin hunter. Has the greatest mount of his life.

[Brett]

Are you going to kill somebody with a button that flies off?

[Brady Bogan]

I look like I'm hosting, like, some sort of AIDS awareness foundation.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And Brett just looks like it's some sort of guinea funeral.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Brett]

That is very.

[Brady Bogan]

You're gonna find the lady. I'm putting it out there. Brett's gonna have a good amount of those ladies attracted to him. Do you have a cause, right.

[Brett]

That you would host then for me in a tuxedo? Because you look like.

[Brady Bogan]

I look like a survivor of something. Yes, in a tuxedo. They just want my story. How did he get out of it? How. How did he come through?

[Brett]

Never realize that until now.

[Brady Bogan]

I look like a survivor. Bell's palsy, cancer, aids, all of it.

[Brett]

They call up home Bird.

[Brady Bogan]

There's nothing about me standing behind a podium in a suit that doesn't scream. What's his story? I bet you it's pretty sad. I was born with bird bones and AIDS. Yeah, it's true.

[Toledo]

25 years with Hamas.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady walks up there and it's just. Yeah. People are waiting for the hors d'oeuvres like they want. If you're in a tuxedo, they just think you're gonna walk through and hand out more pigs in a blanket. Oh, he's the one. Brett gets it done now in the gay room in the tuxedo. I'm gonna get devoured like I walked into a lion cage at the zoo. Brady's right behind me. What's happening? I don't know. Johnny Cakes and Veto, huh? Big time. Just see Brady over there, his hands working like an oil well, doing the truck. What's going on, John? Relax. Look away, Marion. Feel like my face Is melting. It's not. You'll wipe that off. You'll be fine. Toledo walks in in that tuxedo and everybody just goes, when's the game start? It's like squid game. When's the start?

[Brett]

I'm the one they keep in the mind for last call. Is that other guy still here?

[Brady Bogan]

You're the factor. But we're talking about attraction. We're not talking about winning them over. Winning them over. We all do a lot better winning them over. We all do better. Women and men. The gays. We got a shot. We got a shot with gays. Boys, Supermodel, big time shop.

[Toledo]

I'm buying a tux today.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's what Clyde says. Yeah. Toledo gets laid in a gay bar at 1:59am I think I just. It's just. Yeah, once you start entering into conversation and stuff. Toledo's still in last in that one. But you're going to do pretty well with the ladies. Toledo's in second to Brett as far as just initial attraction. And Brady and I are tied for dead last and cruising in to the ground subterranean numbers. We might as well just spin and drive ourselves into the earth.

[Toledo]

That's where that song makes sense.

[Brady Bogan]

Work. Yeah, gotta work. You gotta work it, girl. Even if you started sashaying around the ladies, it would get worse. Somehow somebody you'd have like a 1500 downvotes. In a room of a thousand, they'd use both thumbs. How could that be 2,000 thumbs down in a room of a thousand women? So true.

[John Holmberg]

John and Brady with the gays gives a very strong Swayze and Farley Chippendale sketch.

[Brady Bogan]

No, in the gay room. Yeah, they're both very attractive but very sexy. My buddy Reggie texts me and he says. He says chicago. He said, John, I agree, 1% of the population's hot. But here, she lives in Chicago. So here in Chicago, it's got to be 5%. That's a city of 9 million people. So by that rationale, what is like 480,000 super hot? That's way too high. Maybe tolerable, but I'm talking like, turn your head attractive. Not she'll do. Or I'm not. You know, turn your head attractive. And in Chicago, I'd maybe put that number at 100,000 out of 9 million. Maybe. Maybe. Paula Prak, who hates Toledo, says based on personality, Toledo would be attacked by a thousand women and gay guys. 2000 stab wounds in his dead boring body.

[Brett]

Paula, you're not the control group in this case.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, boy. Yeah, that's an Interesting study. I like that Brady jumped that. If Toledo walked in a room of a thousand gay guys wearing a shirt that said both heads are the same size, all 1000 would start spraying chloroceptic gay spray. Chloraseptic cancers. They clear their. They clear their nasal passages. Isn't that a sore throat spray? Yeah. Is that what secrets came and went? Is that what they used to use those for? All right. Anyway, I like when people email us. You could tell you like a bunch of broads, like, what kind of ass you're gonna pull in.

[Brett]

Come on, you've thought about it.

[Brady Bogan]

But he said, he goes, you guys sound like a bunch of broads talking about your looks and who could pull what. But at least you're being honest about it. That's the only difference. You're right, Jesse.

[John Holmberg]

And we're being fair. We're talking about the D that can be pulled, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Now, imagine if you're a girl, though, and like, this is a. I can't even imagine how bad the ratings would be. But this was all four women in this room. And you said, like, all four of us. Even if I looked like this, a room of a thousand men and it was a woman walking in, I don't think they can say zero. I don't think there's any woman alive that could ever be as honest as I'm being. Not Brady so much, but I'm being.0 being the grand sum of people who find me attractive. I don't think there's a single woman that says, in a room of a thousand men, how many find you attractive? No matter. Even that thousand pound sister would go in and go like 10. Like what Brady did.

[Brett]

Well, she scored.

[John Holmberg]

Gary Payton.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett]

In her experience.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not saying you can't get. But that's not attraction. Oh, I don't think there's a woman alive that. That you would pose that question to. That would. That would say zero at all. And that number. Their number would be.

[John Holmberg]

Because broads are full of themselves.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, because we're also. And this is more of like a scientific. I don't know if that's true. This is why he win.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking.

[Brady Bogan]

This is why. Walking in, he's a nine. And leaving, he's a two. I got to know that guy. He's handsome, but. Jesus Christ. But that's proof. Women always say, oh, we put up with your dad bods and all you guys, like, we're more. We're more tolerable than you give us credit for.

[Brett]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

Because. Yeah, A th. Like a woman watching no matter what she looks like. In a room of a thousand men, I would definitely say there'd be at least 200 men, because any way that woman looks at the. The baseline would be 200 that say.

[Brett]

No, she's pretty and put up with mom bods is in there as well.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I'm not. I'm not getting into that. They get too upset. A girl with down syndrome can walk into a room of a thousand guys and have a hundred of them go, yeah, it looks pretty good to me.

[Brett]

Like, yeah, we used to have one that worked on the show.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well. And it's not unusual. Like, there's. There's a ton of people that have, like. Some guys like skinny ones, some guys like big, big ones. So out of a room of a thousand men, a woman walks in, you're going to appeal to 200 of them no matter what. At least. At least 200 no matter what. No matter what. You'd have to be pretty troglodyte to wander in there and have the whole room go, zero. No. If it's a room full of men and a woman walks in, yeah, there's a men will. A taste. There'll be 200 men out of every 1,000 baseline, and then a really hot one. All 1,000 guys will like her. And, well, that won't be true because there's always that one guy. I have a little meat on my bones no matter what. So then he wants a pig. And then there's a whole room for pigs. Like, a pig walked in and be like, both of us sit there. And then there'd be like a hundred guys going, that's exactly what I like. So attractive. We're different. We're visual, so we're more visually stimulated.

[Toledo]

That would be on both sides a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I don't.

[Toledo]

You think it's a goose egg?

[Brady Bogan]

Zero. Have you been to the Phoenix Open? How many times do you leave with anybody chasing you? Zero.

[Toledo]

Not pursuing any.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't have to. Nobody's attracted to you.

[Toledo]

I tell them no.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. And they say, don't worry, we got you, kid. You can say no. Yeah. The only woman you say no to is the one walking by with spinach.

[Brett]

Keep walking.

[Brady Bogan]

Sis, would you like a spinach wrap? No, I gotta keep these broads away from me. Yeah, it's a fact. So anyway, it's an interesting study, but I think it proves one thing and one thing only. We're more tolerable than women when it comes to Visual. Which is a strange thing. And probably before this morning I wouldn't have thought that until I put my brain on it. Visually we will accept more than they will just visually at first.

[Brett]

Absolutely.

[Brady Bogan]

They'll tolerate us for personality. And we can turn into gross. Gross. Right. And they get personality driven. They'll take ugly, but we can win them. Ugly can win them over. Trust me. It's the only way I'm alive. Ugly can win you over.

[Brett]

Yeah, but we don't do it that way as much.

[Brady Bogan]

We can't. We're visual, so we don't work that out.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So we start with the way they look and hope that it works out. And we'll tolerate no personality for the visual.

[Brett]

Yeah, There's a line.

[Brady Bogan]

And they'll tolerate ugly for the personality.

[Brett]

Sorry, You've crossed the line.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm out. And it's hard to be hot and so annoying that the hot goes away. Like Mar.

[John Holmberg]

At least for a little while.

[Brady Bogan]

Margo Robbie and the first Harley Quinn. That terrible movie that made me tired of looking at Margot Robbie. That's how I know. That's how bad that movie got. Is that I didn't want to score with the gay. She couldn't win it over.

[John Holmberg]

That's why you score with the gays.

[Brady Bogan]

Look, at that point, I'd have blown a guy. I'd have blown a guy to end the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Hell no.

[Brady Bogan]

But an hour and 15 minutes into that first one she was in, I'm like, okay. I'm even bored looking at. At that. This movie's horrible. Anywho. What are you gonna do? Interesting study boys. Have you come around, Brady, or do you still have the delusion?

[Toledo]

Yeah, I might have come around a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

I think zero is the number that you need to rest on. Land down here with me. Man. You.

[Brett]

You really have to take your pride out of all of that though. And just be honest.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? And not enough people are the mirror lot. The mirror lot lies to you.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody just sent in this audio message of Brady's percentage.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay? 0.0 dead accurate and delivered perfectly. I don't know what that's from.

[John Holmberg]

Animal House.

[Brady Bogan]

0.0. That's true. All right. There you go. We're like science in here. Can't even crack the top 20 anyway. I'm just kidding. We got a Rock wars coming off a little bit. We'll do that next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brett]

You thought that was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. 98 90. What the hell is wrong with you? Gotta sneeze. It's already 9:24. Look at this. Flying through the day. It's Maryland right there. It is just about done with this Wednesday we got a Rock wars and we'll get out of here. But we've been talking about this for quite a while now. Brady's insane delusions with the women, the facts that are now cemented in stone. But we have a listener who has come up with a fantastic idea idea that said, this is it for Rock Wars. You guys have to do the song you would ch like. Let's say the thousand men are in there. You have to walk in in your tuxedo to see how many of them are there. What song do you choose as your entry music into the bar of men to try to raise your numbers a little bit or women will let you do that. But that's still a zero for Brady and I. It doesn't matter what song's playing. So I. I'd say in the gay bar, the song you choose as your walk in music to make heads turn and then have people go, all right, I think it's good. It's raining men band. Anything by the Village People band.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's celebrate Me home is banned.

[John Holmberg]

Turbo lover band.

[Brady Bogan]

Turbo lover band. Yeah. Okay. You know the basic low hangers, but that's it. It's 9:25. We'll take suggestions. Holr@98kupd. You can text 979 gay bars band too. Oh, @ the gay bar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That song. Yeah. Yes.

[Toledo]

Soccer practice.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I know what he's gonna do that one anyway. That's just. That's just flaunting homosexuality. That's not it. Theme song for you. You're not playing much soccer, so a theme song for you to. To be more appealing in that and try to raise your numbers. Let's even get to the full thousand. You want to help us out? You can do that. We've got our rock wars coming up in just moments. It's 98. Morning sickness. Dis they say things that are horrible. Morning sickness. It's time for the weekly battle of musical supremacy known only as Rock Wars. And it's brought to you by our friends at Mo Money Pawn. Short or long term collateral loans from $10 to over $100,000American. No credit needed. Top dollar paid with the entire process. Just taking several minutes. Mo money pawn.com, 12th street and Indian School before we move on the topic, of course been talked about this morning of just, you know, wildfire room full of a thousand people. If you walked in, how many would find you attractive? I had to talk Brady out of his astronomically large number of 25 back to zero, which what it is. I also am a hard zero. Antonio emails and says, this talk reminds me of my ex. She used to always say she didn't understand why you, John, thought you were so ugly. She thought you were attractive. It made me want to hang myself every time I thought that she also found me attractive. Yeah, that's how it works when you look like me and someone says he's attractive and you're. That's why she's an ex. You made the right choice. Something wrong with her? I am not visually valuable. So this one was, what if you walked into a room full of a thousand gay guys? How many would find attractive? But. But you know what gays like shows. They like the performance art. So bring yourself into that room with a theme song, and then see if you can turn some heads and make them think you're attractive. And in my humble opinion, I'm first in the gay room. Brady's second, Brett's third.

[John Holmberg]

I thought I was fourth.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you would be fourth, but it's hard with Toledo because he's just so zero. Plus, you know, I think you and him are pretty the way Brady and I are. Two zeros in a girl room. You. You two might be two zeros in a men's room, and Toledo is a low number in a lady room, but he's still going to make some people go, he's decent. Not like me in this one over here. Me and Corky are coming out of there with donuts. Brett, you go first.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, you know, this topic is really difficult because, you know, going into the. Going into the gay bar, it's going to be tough for me. Like you said, I'm low on the totem pole. Very well, because they're going to walk in and I'm. You know, what are all these twinks doing around here? So I think Wheeler Walker Jr. Said it the best. This is. I sucked another D last night because I need all the help I can get with this.

[Brady Bogan]

You just need to announce what you're willing to. Apparently, I can't play this. There's no way.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, let me get the lyrics. Hang on, hang on.

[Brady Bogan]

Let me get on money. I don't even know where it's at. Do you have any idea where? No idea. I'll pull it up.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on.

[Brady Bogan]

But now it's just something I do here. I get it. We didn't Got it. But I suck another last night. See what I did there?

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brady Bogan]

Thanks. That's just me guessing. All right. Thank you, Wheeler Walker. Which is why you're a zero in the gay room. What? You brought Wheeler Walker?

[John Holmberg]

I gotta show that I'm, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. That you're willing. But then still they're gonna look into your, you know, Spotify and see Wheeler Walker Brady. What's yours?

[Toledo]

Well, my approach is I. I think I'm selling it a little better than Brett. Yeah, I'm using the help of James J.T. taylor and cooling the gang with get down on It.

[Brady Bogan]

This definitely makes down. It's a great song. Brady walks in in the tuxedo and he would do that dance. Now think of all the dumb stuff you're doing for the gays. Replace the gays with women and imagine the repulsed faces that you would face. All right. Get down on. It's not bad. How you gonna do it if you really don't wanna dance? By standing on the wall. All right. I like that better than Wheeler Walker. Hey, gotta use what you're trying to lose this one.

[Brett]

You don't want to be associated with this.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm winning this, man. No question. I walk in. I know how to talk to the gays without even opening my mouth. Well, eventually this comes on. I walk in the room. Hall of fame numbers. I'm saying 980 out of a thousand. Hit it. Brought it up earlier. Sam Smith and Kim Petras. Unholy. Oh, they get this right here automatically. Half of them are hard. They haven't even looked at me yet. This just sends the whole room into a great big semen frenzy. Unholy.

[John Holmberg]

You'd be hearing a lot of.

[Brady Bogan]

Gulp. Oh, you'd be hearing a lot of that.

[Toledo]

You would hear a lot of gagging.

[Brady Bogan]

Not in that room.

[Brett]

Nope, not in that room.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of sounds like a bunch of ceiling fans and like slippery slopes.

[Brett]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

You heard me. Yeah, you never know who's in there. Not discriminating. I don't want any gaggers first.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, maybe if I. If you can make a gay guy gag, you feel pretty good about yourself. It's 9:43. Who wins? Holmberg at 98kupd.com youm can text 97936. What was the new one we added?

[Brett]

Trivia.

[Brady Bogan]

Trivia. That's right. He picks trivia. We have to answer the question and buzz in and get it right in the win. That's a huge one. You can text us 97936. We'll find out who wins next. Morning sickness. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right. Right in the center of rock wars here at 9:51. The theme this week on the OR. A very strange topic of finding a thousand people in a room to find you attractive. We went to the gay bar to see how it works. So at least we all have a chance. And I stand by my numbers on that. Brett proved it by choosing Wheeler Walker Jr. I sucked another D. That's the song Brett just didn't pronounce that Brady chose Get down on it by cooling the gang. And I chose Unholy by Sam Smith. Right now, if you can believe it on the emails, Brady has won them 12 to eight over me and four for Brett. Good sh. Shocking. It says Josh says the winner this week is Brady best tune. But also, if I have to hear that discount Robert Smith freak on my radio, I'm going to drive in oncoming traffic. I'd rather listen to acid than my eardrums hearing Sam Smith. Some people don't like Sam Smith.

[John Holmberg]

I never thought about that. That is kind of true very much.

[Brady Bogan]

He's a super happy gayer. Somehow Robert Smith never thought of that.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

This one said, Jesus, John, when you guys said you were tanking it, I thought you were kidding. Talking. Talking about who could pull the most ass. But by the B hole. My goodness, bread for the win. Because he's uncomfortable and so am I. That's all right. You can be homophobic. I'm not. No, I know he is. Adrian. It says, gotta go with Brady on this one. Can't imagine. Or I can't imagine him wearing that 70 suit, walking into the bar thinking it was Studio 54, impressing those gays with those giant platform shoes. Brett think he'd walk into Blue Oyster Bar like in a police academy and immediately walk out around. So it's got a vote for the resident rose colored glasses barbecue connoisseur Brady this week. This one says, john, I got to go with Burton Wheeler Walker. I already know most. I need to know about you just by Wheeler Walker. Okay? You fall right into a category. And you know what? My next question to you isn't. What? What company are you the CEO of? Because I don't. I already know the answer. As much as I'd like to give Brett the vote, I have to go with John Brady. The only thing that group is getting on are drugs. They don't want to see you naked. I just texted my Wife, John to see if she thought you were attractive and she's seen you several times. She texted back and said there's not enough roofies and alcohol in the world to get underneath that az Squidward. So needless to say, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. That being said, my vote always goes for little Kim Petras. And goes to you, my az Squidward. No thanks, John. Dear God, your song fits best. But I hate that song. Bret must have been doing exactly what the song says when he chose it, so I'm going with Brady. Brett, I think your song would actually sort of offend them. It's a sad guy blowing people. That could be Jewburg. You picked low hanging fruits. I'm going with Brady because at least it's got some swag. I vote for you, John. Pop pop is so delusional. I can't give him a win and Brett's an idiot, so there you go. Yeah, but still, Brady won the emails today. What do you got over there? The other ones.

[Brett]

Brady's got a seven vote lead over Brett right now on text.

[Brady Bogan]

Outrageous. All right, John Gordon, one through five.

[Brett]

One through five.

[Brady Bogan]

One through five. Number one. He goes with number one. And number one is final call. We gotta get a call in on this. Somebody's gotta call us and tell us who wins rock wars this week. 5, 8 5, 9800. Lines just got cleared. Give them a second for the delay to pop back in and we will see who wins this week's rock wars with the final call again, 5, 8 5, 9, 800 pro. Probably a man. Women's vote shouldn't be the deciding factor. I think we all agree. And what will it be? Will it be Bretz, Wheeler, Walker Jr. Choice I sucked another D last night or will it just be hard for you to choke that out?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, he is popular at the gay bar.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't like that popping out of my mouth so much. Brady chose get down on it by cooling the gang and I chose unholy. Here is our final call. Who is this? Donovan. Donovan, you're in. What do you got? I'm gonna have to go with Pop pop. He actually understood the sign. When it's a gay topic, he runs away with it. All right, thank you, Donovan.

[Toledo]

New year.

[Brett]

It took him until April before he.

[Brady Bogan]

Got his first win. Last tied for first.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

The Browns are in first. They're not going to the playoffs. We'll see. What if this starts this the. Let's see if Pop Pop did better. Let's see if another one Comes. Hi there. You want to vote? Yeah. Brady wins. Unbelievable. It's a landslide. I'm not even gonna play anymore. All right, we'll get a little get down. I'll do some cool in a gang now. We'll come back to another time. Do you got it now? Yeah, we'll do it now.

[Brett]

Hang on.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a great song. So you did very well there. And I think because he won, Brett, you should go over there and do the Wheeler walker on him. Well, nope.

[John Holmberg]

Proud to lose this one. Thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, knock it out. It's cool in the gang, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brett]

You thought that was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Get down. Well done, boys. Kiss. 12:30. Rhythm of the city. That's a little yeah in the game for you. If you're like when you wander into those gay bars and you want to get down on it. There it is, baby. I like what I see. Let's get right to it. It's 10:00 on the dot. It's time for the entertainment drill. And that is brought to you by our friends over@react defense.com, the home of tactical black self defense systems. And again, I told you about it yesterday. April 25, which is closer than you think. You got to sign up for this early. Available to everyone. A women's self defense seminar. All you ladies out there that wander through your day wondering, I wonder how soon it's going to be until ed attacks me. Well, then there you go. You gotta. You're thinking in your head, what would you do if you're walking through the parking lot? It gets dark real early. I watch that all the time. People walking out of the parking lots to their jobs. Boston make you park close. I'm sure at Matthias bar, she's supposed to park 55 yards from the like, way far away. You got to walk to a parking lot alone at night. You got to be in places by yourself at night. Why not be prepared for something weird coming your way? You never know. And this women's self defense seminar will do it. It's just one night of your life, too. And on top of that, they'll throw in a month of training for 199 bucks. You get the seminar and that month of training that will. And I'm saying this with the straightest face you can imagine, it will change you. Period. End of story. You will walk out of there different. After the seminar, after A month of training, you're going to be permanently changed for the better. You become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep in those weird situations. And just like having a plan for fire or, you know, if you get, you know, people actually have a plan for what happens if they plunge their car in water. I saw that on you have to have a plan. The news was trying to tell me I have to have a plan for when I drive my car down. You have one of these hammers that knocks the glass out. I have one I have a plan for if I underwater my car. Why wouldn't I have a plan for walking through a Circle K parking lot? Doesn't make sense. Get on it. It's easy enough. Just go to reactdefense.com, check it all out. All their info's there. It's the home of tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.

[Toledo]

According to a new poll, America's favorite movie ever, 2024, was the Bob Dylan biopic A Complete Unknown. 99 of those polled gave it a favorable rating. 75% thought it was great.

[Brett]

Yeah, we've seen how those polls work.

[Brady Bogan]

Who's voting on that?

[Toledo]

Deadpool and Wolverine was second. 89. Favorability.

[Brady Bogan]

That last year or that being like.

[John Holmberg]

Two years ago and see that one either. Was that good?

[Brady Bogan]

No. Yeah, it was pretty good. Did you like it?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow, what a reason. I'm gonna run into selling. They sold it.

[Brett]

I remember it well.

[Toledo]

The wild Robot came in third. 86.

[Brady Bogan]

I heard. That's great.

[Toledo]

The most watched movie was Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice followed by Deadpool and Wolverine and Bad Boys. Ride or die, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Terrible year for movies on the TV side. Oh, my God, that's right. The Joker was in there.

[Toledo]

On the TV side, Shogun was the most popular show you watched.

[Brady Bogan]

I heard that. Did you watch it?

[Toledo]

Yep. The bear was second.

[Brady Bogan]

Can't do it. Too much anxiety.

[Toledo]

Landman was third.

[Brett]

Well, you worked in that world too.

[Brady Bogan]

I know, but it's still just fire the staff already. Bear.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What is. What's the bear about?

[Brady Bogan]

It's a restaurant and it's a guy who is a five star Michelin chef and his brother's family. Philly cheesesteak house. His brother dies and he inherits that. And he tries to make it this. He tries to get like a Michelin star at this dump and he brings in sous chefs and he changes everything. And the tension watching that thing, if you've ever worked in the restaurant business, is so hard to sit through.

[Toledo]

I watched a couple episodes.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't do it. I cannot sit through it. And I think it's really good. I can't sit there through it. It's. It's.

[Toledo]

I got frustrated too. As far as you were saying, it's like, all right, fire.

[Brady Bogan]

Gotta go. These people. That lady that in the first.

[Toledo]

I'm not gonna work with my family here.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. The first few episodes, there's that Mexican lady who just want. She's just like, fire her.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, she makes it through the whole way.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. I saw that the new season. She's still in the picture. And I'm like, I wouldn't have survived these two years. I'd have flown to the set of the show and said, where are the writers? Fired her. I can't sit. It's so much anxiety.

[Toledo]

Netflix is raising its prices again. The biggest hike is the standard plan, which is going from 1549 to 1799amonth.

[Brady Bogan]

Remember the big lie? You get in now, you'll never pay another fee. Past behind 99. And then that just went away with our Internet.

[Brett]

65Amonth for life.

[Brady Bogan]

And then they changed our name. Yeah, they changed the name, but Netflix just flat out said, It's 9.99. Get in now and it's forever. And we went, yeah, but we never signed anything.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

And then they're like, well, you believed us. It's 20 bucks now.

[Toledo]

The Razzie nominees were announced yesterday.

[Brady Bogan]

That has to be all.

[Toledo]

Joker, Borderlands, Joker, Foliado, Madame Web.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

Megalopoulos and Reagan all lead with Dakota Johnson.

[Brett]

Oh, that's right.

[Brady Bogan]

Larry has clips of Madam Webb. It is the most disjointed. She says she tries to make it bad. Yeah. There's some weird stuff that happens. Just in the clip Larry showed me goes, tell me what's going on here. And she is sleepwalking through these scenes. It's bad.

[Toledo]

Winners receive a $4.97 gold sprayed painted statuette.

[Brady Bogan]

Actually really admire Dakota Johnson for going on interviews to promote that thing and saying it was horrible and just telling people it's just awful. They were gonna sue her because she didn't want to.

[John Holmberg]

Do they do that with Joker too? Wasn't he on there? Just saying it's a terrible movie.

[Brady Bogan]

Joaquin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I didn't see.

[John Holmberg]

I thought he was saying it was bad too.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, boy. I didn't see that I could be.

[John Holmberg]

Mistaken, but I thought he was.

[Brady Bogan]

He took too much. I won't even watch once it was done. Obviously, you know, after watching the first Joker and I said this after that came out, I'm like, there is? Absolutely. I want to spend no more time with these characters. None. When they announced there was going to be a sequel, I'm like, didn't you hear us? We didn't want more time with Arthur Fleck.

[Brett]

Right?

[Toledo]

600 pound rapper Dave Blunt says he'll crowd surf on his upcoming tour.

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Ask the crowd surf.

[Toledo]

Don't worry, we're going to have a waiver for everyone. We're going to have EMTs on standby. No, we'll have fire marshals and all.

[Brady Bogan]

That for all the people you crush. You son of a. That's like a school shooter saying, don't worry, I've already called the police. I'm going to shoot at you. But don't worry, the EMTs will be here real soon.

[Toledo]

Last little thing was pretty funny. Kid Rock made a joke that the Secret Service wouldn't allow him to use strippers for his inauguration performance.

[Brady Bogan]

Probably the right move.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

President Trump called him and said, are you serious? Did they ask you that? He's like, nah, I was making that up.

[Brett]

Oh, good, bring him down.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I just said, yes, right, Richie? Bobby, I'd have told you you could do it. I think you could definitely have strippers at my inauguration. I wanted that.

[Toledo]

He says, did they really ask you that? And he said, no, sir, they did not. I was just joking around. And Trump says, oh, that's funny.

[Brady Bogan]

Good stuff. I don't have anything to do better than to call Kid Rock and make sure everything's okay. I gotta make a phone call. Gotta make a phone call right now. Who to, Putin? No, Bob Ritchie in Detroit. I'm gonna make sure that he got a stripper story straight for fun. I just pardoned him.

[Brett]

He's number five on your speed dial, sir.

[Brady Bogan]

Number three now. Jumped up with that stripper story. That's a good story. A lot of people didn't like it. I did. In fact, I just renamed the Gulf of America the Gulf of Kid Rock. Why not? Anyway. All right, that's enough. Let's get the hell out of here. We had rogue sperm this morning. We had. Yeah, we sent Brady the right direction after this. Crazy. I don't know what color the sky is in his world, but it's blue again. We straightened him out. What a day. Ladies.

[Toledo]

I'm coming home.

[Brady Bogan]

Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great day. We'll see you tomorrow. So Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.