01-22-25 - Now Thinking How Many Gay Men Out Of 1000 In A Room Would Find Any Of Us Attractive Just On First Glance

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary Episode: Now Thinking How Many Gay Men Out Of 1000 In A Room Would Find Any Of Us Attractive Just On First Glance
Release Date: January 22, 2025

---

Introduction

In the January 22, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delve into a humorous and candid discussion about self-perceived attractiveness within gay communities. The episode blends sharp wit with relatable self-deprecation, creating an engaging conversation that resonates with listeners navigating social dynamics and personal confidence.

Main Discussion: Assessing Attractiveness in Gay Gatherings

The primary focus of this episode centers around the hypothetical scenario of entering a room filled with a thousand gay men and estimating how many would find each host attractive upon first glance. This topic serves as a backdrop for exploring themes of self-esteem, societal standards of beauty, and the often humorous disparity between self-perception and external validation.

Brady and Toledo’s Banter on Self-Attractiveness

Brady Bogen initiates the conversation by expressing his skepticism about his own attractiveness in such a setting. He states:

"Now thinking how many gay men out of a thousand in a room would find any of us attractive just on first glance..." (01:11)

Dick Toledo counters with a blend of humor and self-awareness, challenging Brady's assertions and offering his own perspectives:

"I think it's me. And then Brady, he's right behind me because he's got that build that they like." (01:48)

This exchange sets the tone for a lighthearted yet introspective dialogue, where both hosts navigate their insecurities through comedy.

Exploring the Numbers: Statistical Speculations

The hosts engage in a mock-serious analysis, assigning numerical values to their attractiveness, which serves as a comedic tool to highlight their insecurities and societal perceptions. Brady humorously claims:

"Out of a thousand attractive, ten, twelve guys find me attractive. End of the night, I'm 900 of them." (03:25)

Toledo retorts with a more grounded figure:

"I'm gonna go Brady on this one. I'm gonna go 100." (06:53)

These exaggerated statistics underscore the hosts' playful self-deprecation and provide listeners with relatable content that balances humor with genuine self-reflection.

Personality vs. Appearance: A Delicate Balance

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the interplay between physical attractiveness and personality. The hosts acknowledge that while appearance may catch initial attention, personality ultimately sustains relationships and social interactions. Brady muses:

"We're more tolerable than women when it comes to visual, which is a strange thing. And probably before this morning, I wouldn't have thought that until I put my brain on it." (17:43)

Toledo adds depth to this point by emphasizing the importance of personality in forming meaningful connections:

"We've jumped ahead too, Candyland... It's more of like a scientific... we're visual, so we don't work that out." (16:46)

These insights reflect a mature understanding of interpersonal dynamics, even as the conversation maintains its comedic edge.

Notable Quotes

• Brady Bogen:
  "All you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now." (00:58)
  (Note: Although part of an advertisement, this quote demonstrates the show's blend of content and promotions.)

• Dick Toledo:
  "I'm pretty vanilla, so there's a lot that I can meld with." (06:11)

• Brady Bogen:
  "They’d use both thumbs. How could that be 2,000 thumbs down?" (07:01)

• Brett Vesely:
  "College hoops are here and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters." (10:51)
  (Another promotional segment reflecting the show's integrated advertising.)

Conclusion

The January 22, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a humorous yet insightful exploration of personal attractiveness within gay communities. Through witty exchanges and candid self-assessments, John Holmberg and his co-hosts provide listeners with both laughter and relatable content. The episode effectively balances humor with deeper reflections on self-image and interpersonal relationships, making it a memorable addition to the show's repertoire.

---

For more episodes and to listen live, tune in to 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), the 98KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.

[Brady]

For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.

[Toledo]

And.

[Brady]

And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com youm thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Brett]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Brady]

Good Christ. Ah, burn your building down if that's the case. Interesting talk, considering Brady's delusions of walking into a room of a thousand women his age. And how many would find him attractive? Clearly, the answer is zero. Absolute zero. Anything multiplied by it is still zero. Jeremy fires over and says, what if you walked into a room of a thousand gay guys? Which one of the guys on the show pulls the most ass?

[Toledo]

You?

[Brady]

I think it's me. And then Brady, he's right behind me because he's got that build that they like. There's a. There's a whole build. Well, the bear thing. There's a whole category of little stout, fuzzy dudes. Yeah, I would definitely be. And remember Dale Hellestra? He said to go to a gay bar with me. He'd pull more ass than I'm. Like, there is no like. Again, I told him that all those gays would run, grab pitchforks and fire and chase them out of the place. There's no possible way Dale pulls ass fast. I would win the gay guy thing out of a thousand. I've seen it now here. Yes, you've already witnessed this. Now, out of a thousand men just finding me attractive, I still think that number stays very low. But gay guys don't look at your face. That's not what they're. They're looking at what you're working with. And unfortunately, I have a track butt, and that thing will suck them in. This is one competition I'm not disappointed to lose. And I'd say Toledo. I don't know. It's somewhere between you and Toledo. It's again, though, just based on. Based on being attractive. You're gonna walk in there. I think you give off a huge homophobic vibe. What? I'm not gonna walk into.

[Toledo]

Hey, I eat Twinkstone.

[Brady]

I think they feel that you would, though. I do. And I'm not even. Like, you walk in the room. I have a feeling you're gonna do.

[Toledo]

That in unfamiliar places. You walk in with resting dick.

[Brady]

Yeah, I think that's true. I think you're misreading. Brett walks in. Everybody's like, who's this guy?

[Toledo]

Cause you're reading the room, but you don't see your faces.

[John Holmberg]

Just, I read the room everywhere.

[Brady]

When Brett reads a room, though, he's like one of those cat clocks. The eyes just go left and right, like he's up to something terrible. Brady and I walk into the gay room, and the party just got there. I'd say out of a thousand attractive, ten, twelve guys find me attractive. End of the night, I'm 900 of them.

[Toledo]

Brady, you're at five.

[Brady]

Brady, you're five. To 750 because there's a good port. Like, a quarter of them aren't interested at all in your build. But I'm.

[Toledo]

But there's a big portion of them that are.

[Brady]

We're like an SAT question. Not all gays are attracted to Brady and the style. But all gays will have sex with you. But not all of them are attracted with me. It's different. Like, they. Gay guys like me, and I don't know if they'd all. Yeah, they would. 900. 100 of them would be discerning, too. Twinkie. You know, the ones that are kind of butch tops, they want to wrestle, and the Twinkie ones want to be taken care of. And they think that I have just enough of a build that I can. I can manhandle a twink, and I can get into a good scrap with a big one. Then there's the real bougie, like Michael, my neighbor. He's not. He wouldn't do it.

[Toledo]

Actually.

[Brady]

Yes, he would. If I told Michael, I'm like, I want you to take.

[Toledo]

Let's give it a whirl.

[Brady]

Yeah. I think I want you to make me unholy. He's gonna plug that up. Yeah, Yeah, I think. Yeah. The unholy thing is I'm gonna Sam Smith that thing with yeah. And keep my business clean. But if I gave Michael the opportunity, he'd take it. Yeah, That's a thing. Brett would go, you looked at me like you've got that all work. That's right. I walk in. All right, Brad, are you ready? No. Here we go. Ooh. Hello, ladies. It's fun. Which one do you want first? The chunky one, and then you're the cherry on top. Yep, I'll wait. It's a whole lot better than the absolute disgust we'd get walking into a room of ladies in our 60s. And Brady has to walk into a room of ladies in their early 60s and get dismantled by them with that same song going. 500 of them would. 500 of them would check box lesbian at the end of their meeting. And I'd be. They'd kill themselves if I was there. If I was the last man on earth. A thousand ladies would kill themselves. It would happen so fast, and they'd be right. Toledo. I don't even know where you are in the gay world. Like, you walk into a room of a thousand gays.

[Toledo]

I'm pretty vanilla, so there's a lot that I can meld with.

[Brady]

That's the killer bread guy.

[Toledo]

Really?

[Brady]

I don't know where I'd put you in that. I can't really even throw a dart at it.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I don't either.

[Brady]

You walk into a room of a thousand gays, how many find Toledo attractive? I mean, there's gotta be a few.

[Toledo]

But I can't different between, like, attractive and passable. Like, passable to them.

[Brady]

I think you're passable all the way through. Yeah, but that's not attractive.

[Toledo]

That's what I'm saying. 10 that find me attractive. Yeah, I'd go with that. I see. That's fair. Out of a thousand.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I'm gonna go Brady on this one. I'm gonna go 100.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Men, 100. That's 10% of the room that wants to run out every time.

[Brady]

You do better with the ladies than you would the men attractive. You're getting into personality. You've jumped ahead too, Candyland.

[Toledo]

A Thousand men, a thousand women. You'll do better with the men.

[Brady]

No way. Let's. Okay, let's all do this. How about this?

[Toledo]

Let's all men want to do.

[Brady]

No, listen.

[Toledo]

Get it on tuxedos.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you're asking about them. Finding them attractive.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Banging them. It's street urchins. They'll do it with anything. They're men.

[Toledo]

But all of us, when Brandon Lee.

[Brady]

Was in here, all of us get in tuxedos and walk into those rooms. Right. Taliyah's gonna do okay with the ladies in a tuxedo. You're gonna get shot by a penguin hunter as the greatest mount of his life.

[Toledo]

Are you gonna kill somebody with a button that flies off?

[Brady]

I look like I'm hosting, like, some sort of a AIDS awareness foundation.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[Brady]

And Brett just looks like it's some sort of guinea funeral or something.

[Toledo]

That is very.

[Brady]

You're gonna find the ladies. I'm putting it out there. Brett's gonna have a good amount of those. Lad.

[Toledo]

Do you have a tuxedo that you would host then for me in a tuxedo? Because you look like.

[Brady]

I look like a survivor of something in a tuxedo. They just want my story. How did he get out of it? How did he come through? I look like a survivor. Bell's palsy, Cancer, aids, all of it.

[Toledo]

Hey, call up, homebird.

[Brady]

There's nothing about me standing behind a podium in a suit that doesn't scream, what's his story? I betcha it's pretty sad. I was born with bird bones and AIDS. Yeah, it's true.

[Toledo]

25 years with Hamas.

[Brady]

Brady walks up there and it's just. Yeah, people are waiting for the hors d'oeuvres like they want. If you're in a tuxedo, they just think you're gonna walk through and hand out more pigs in a blanket. Oh, he's the one. Brett gets it done now in the gay room in the tuxedo. I'm gonna get devoured. Walked into a lion cage at the zoo. Brady's right behind me. What's happening? I don't know. Johnny King. Some veto, huh? Big time. Just see Brady over there, his hands working like an oil well, doing the trump dance. What's going on, John? Relax. Relax. Look away, Marion.

[Toledo]

I feel like my face is melting.

[Brady]

It's not. You'll wipe that off. You'll be fine. So Lita walks in in that tuxedo, and everybody just goes, when's the game start? It's like squid game. When's the start disgusting. They say things that are horrible.

[Brett]

College hoops are here and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters. The original wing joint since 1983.

[Toledo]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement.

[Brady]

What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Toledo]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Brady]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases, we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco.

[Toledo]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco. Double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Toledo]

I'm the one that keep in the mind for last call. Is that other guy still here?

[Brady]

You're the faculty. Oh, but we're talking about attraction. We're not talking about winning them over. Winning them over. We all do a lot better winning them over. We all do better. Women and men. The gays. We got a shot. We got a shot with gays, boys. Big time shot.

[Toledo]

I'm buying a touch today.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's what Clyde says. Yeah. Toledo gets laid in a gay bar at 1:59am I think he's good. I think I just. It's just. Yeah, once you start entering into conversation and stuff. Toledo's still in last in that one, but you're going to do pretty well with the ladies. Toledo's in second to Brett as far as just initial attraction. And Brady and I are tied for dead last and cruising into the ground. Subterranean numbers. We might as well just spin and drive ourselves into the earth.

[Toledo]

That's where that song makes sense.

[Brady]

Work. Yeah, you got to work. You got to work it, girl. Even if you started sashaying around the ladies, it would get worse. Somehow or another, you'd have like a 1500 down votes. In a room of a thousand, they'd use. They'd use both thumbs. How could that be 2,000 thumbs down? In a room of a thousand women. So true. John and Brady with the gays gives a very strong Swayze and Farley Chippendale sketch. No, in the gay room, maybe. They're both very attractive, but very sexy. My buddy Reggie texts me and he says. He says, chicago. He said, John, I agree, 1% of the population's hot. But here, and she lives in Chicago. So here in Chicago, it's gotta be 5%. That's a city of 9 million people. So by that rationale, what is it, like 480,000 super hot? That's way too high. Maybe tolerable, but I'm talking, like, turn your head attractive. Not she'll do. Or I'm not, you know, turn your head attractive. And in Chicago, I'd maybe put that number at 100,000 out of 9 million. Maybe. Maybe. Paula Proc, who hates Toledo, says based on personality, Toledo would be attacked by a thousand women and gay guys. 2000 stab wounds in his dead, boring body.

[Toledo]

Paula, you're not the control group in this case.

[Brady]

Oh, boy. Yeah, that's an interesting study, but I like that Brady jumped that. If Toledo walked in a room of a thousand gay guys wearing a shirt that said both heads are the same size, all 1000 would start spraying chloraseptic. Gays break Chloraseptic in first. They clear their. They clear their nasal passages. Isn't that a sore throat spray? Yeah. Is that what Sucrets came and went? Is that what they used to use those for? All right. Anyway, I like when people email us. You could tell you like a bunch of broads, like what kind of ass you're gonna pull in.

[Toledo]

Come on, you've thought about.

[Brady]

He said, he goes, you guys sound like a bunch of broads talking about your looks and who could pull what. But at least you're being honest about it. That's the only difference. You're right, Jesse. And we're being fair. We're talking about the D. That could be pulled too. Now, imagine if you're a girl, though, and, like, this is a. I can't even imagine how bad the ratings would be. But this was all four women in room, and you said, like, all four of us. Even if I looked like this, a room of a thousand men, and I was a woman walking in, I don't think they can say zero. I don't think there's any woman alive. Oh, yeah. That could ever be as honest as we're. I'm being not Brady so much, but I'm being zero being the grand sum of people who find me attractive. I don't think there's a single woman that says, in a room of a thousand men, how many find you attractive? No matter. Even that thousand pound sister would go in and go like 10, like what Brady did.

[Toledo]

Well, she scored Gary Payton. Yeah. In her experience.

[Brady]

I'm not saying you can't get. But that's not an attraction. Oh, I don't think there's a woman alive that, that you would pose that question to. That would. That would say zero at all. And that number. Their number would be. Those broads are full of themselves. Well, because we're also. And this is more of like a scientific. I don't know if that's true. This is why he can't win. This is why. Walking in, he's a nine and leaving he's a two. I got to know that guy. He's handsome, but Jesus Christ. But that's proof. Women always say, oh, we put up.

[Toledo]

With your dad bods and all you.

[Brady]

Guys tell me, like, we're more. We're more tolerable than you give us credit for.

[Toledo]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brady]

Because, yeah, a woman walks in, no matter what she looks like. In a room of a thousand men, I would definitely say there'd be at least 200 men. Because any way that woman looks at the baseline would be 200 that say.

[Toledo]

No, she's pretty and put up with mom bods is in there as well.

[Brady]

Well, I'm not, I'm not getting into that. They get too upset. A girl with down syndrome can walk into a room of a thousand guys and have a hundred of them go, yeah, it looks pretty good to me.

[Toledo]

Like, yeah, we used to have one that worked on the show.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, and it's not unusual. Like, there's. There's a ton of people that have like, some guys like skinny ones, some guys like big ones. So out of a room of a thousand men, a woman walks in. You're going to appeal to 200 of them no matter what. At least.

[Toledo]

At least 200 no matter what.

[Brady]

No matter what. You'd have to be pretty troglodyte to wander in there and have the whole room go, zero. Like Brady. No, if it's a room full of men and a woman walks in, yeah, there's a men will a taste. There'll be 200 men out of every 1,000 baseline. And then a really hot one, all 1,000 guys will like her. And, well, that won't be true because there's always that one go, I have a little meat on my bones no matter what. So then he wants a pig. And then there's a whole room for pigs. Like a pig walked in and be like, both of us sit there. And then there'd be like a hundred guys going, that's exactly what I like. So attractive. We're different. We're visual, so we're more visually stimulated.

[Toledo]

That would be on both sides a little bit.

[Brady]

No, I don't think it's a goose egg. Zero, have you been to the Phoenix Open? How many times do you leave with anybody chasing you? Zero.

[Toledo]

Not pursuing it.

[Brady]

You don't have to. Nobody's attracted to you.

[Toledo]

I tell them no.

[Brady]

That's right. And they say, don't worry, we got you, kid. You can say no. Yeah. The only woman you say no to is the one walking by with spinach.

[Toledo]

Keep walking, sister.

[Brady]

Would you like a spinach wrap? No, I gotta keep these broads away from me. Yeah, it's a fact. So anyway, it's an interesting study, but I think it proves one thing and one thing only. We're more tolerable than women when it comes comes to visual, which is a strange thing. And probably before this morning, I wouldn't have thought that until I put my brain on it. Visually, we will accept more than they will just visually at first.

[Toledo]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

They'll tolerate us for personality and we can turn into gross. Right. And they get personality driven. They'll take ugly, but we can win them. Ugly can win them over. Trust me, it's the only way I'm alive. Ugly can win you over.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but we don't do it that way as much.

[Brady]

We can't. We're visual, so we don't work that out.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So we start with the way they look and hope that it works out. And we'll tolerate no personality for the visual.

[Toledo]

Yeah, there's a line.

[Brady]

And they'll tolerate ugly for the personality.

[Toledo]

Sorry, you've crossed the line. I'm out.

[Brady]

And it's hard to be hot and so annoying that the hot goes away. Like Margo, at least for a little while. Margot Robbie and the first Harley Quinn, that terrible movie that made me tired of looking at Margot Robbie. That's how I know that's how bad that movie got, is that I didn't want to score with the gays. She couldn't win it over. That's why you score with the gays. Look, at that point, I'd have blown a guy. I'd have blown a guy to end the movie. Hell no. About an hour and 15 minutes into that first one she was in, I'm like, okay. I'm even bored looking at that. This movie's horrible. Anywho, what are you gonna do? Interesting study boys. Have you come around, Brady, or do you still have the delusion?

[Toledo]

I might have come around a little bit.

[Brady]

You think zero is the number that you need to rest on. Land down here with me.

[Toledo]

Man, you. You really have to take your pride out of all of that though, and just be honest, right?

[Brady]

And not enough people are the mirror. The mirror lies to you. Somebody just sent in this audio message of Brady's percentage. Okay? 0.0 dead accurate and delivered perfectly. I don't know what. That's from Animal House. That's right. Exactly.

[Toledo]

Life, son.

[Brady]

0.0. That's true. All right. There you go. More like science in here. Can't even crack top 20 anyway. I'm just kidding. We got a Rock wars coming off a little bit. We'll do that next. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station.

[Diane Fisher]

Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 and McClintock, Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.