01-22-25 - Sharpton Calls For Boycotting Companies Who Cancel DEI - Update On Vince From Last Week - Toledo's Paternity Suit Story - Two Bigfoot Hunters Found Dead Sparking Bigfoot Offer - Having Empathy For Starving While Doing Food Contests

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Release Date: January 22, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Episode Title: Sharpton Calls For Boycotting Companies Who Cancel DEI - Update On Vince From Last Week - Toledo's Paternity Suit Story - Two Bigfoot Hunters Found Dead Sparking Bigfoot Offer - Having Empathy For Starving While Doing Food Contests

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1. Al Sharpton's Call for Boycotting Companies Who Cancel DEI

The episode opens with an intense discussion led by Brady Bogen about civil rights activist Al Sharpton's recent call to boycott companies that have scrapped their Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives. Brady and his co-hosts delve into the implications of this call, debating the effectiveness and potential backlash.

Brady Bogen criticizes Sharpton's approach, stating, "Sharpton’s gonna say, I'll never eat that again. Like, here's a lifetime supply of McRibs. McDonald's is all right." [(07:14)] He argues that despite the boycott efforts, major corporations like McDonald's and Google have widespread customer bases that are unlikely to be swayed significantly by such protests. The conversation shifts to how the free market responds to business decisions, with Brady emphasizing that if consumers disapprove, it naturally affects the business's bottom line.

Dick Toledo adds a lighter note, making a humorous comparison: "Can I help a lady in the house? I don't think she was legally." [(04:46)]. This interjection serves to lighten the heavy discussion on DEI and boycotts.

2. Update on Vince From Last Week

The segment transitions to an update on a previous listener story involving Vince, whose marital issues have taken a dramatic turn. Vince reached out with a tumultuous account of his wife's possible infidelity and the ensuing paternity doubts.

Brady Bogen narrates Vince’s predicament with a mix of humor and empathy: "Vince is gonna break it off. We found out you can test the DNA of a baby prenatally, if that's how it works." [(13:15)]. The co-hosts humorously dissect Vince's situation, imagining various outcomes and offering tongue-in-cheek advice on how he might handle the uncertainty surrounding the paternity of his child.

Josh Mulcahy and Michael engage in a playful back-and-forth, questioning the logistics and emotional toll Vince faces. The dialogue underscores the show's characteristic blend of comedy and candid conversation, making the listener both entertained and reflective on personal relationship dynamics.

3. Toledo's Paternity Suit Story

Dick Toledo shares his personal experience with a paternity suit, providing a real-life perspective that resonates with the ongoing themes of trust and responsibility discussed earlier.

Dick Toledo recounts, "I was top of the list, so I was first contacted. I had to first... Have had to get a DNA test." [(31:38)]. He explains the complexities and financial burdens of proving paternity, highlighting the emotional strain it imposed on him and his family. This narrative is complemented by Brady's sarcastic remarks, which add humor to the otherwise serious topic: "Imagine knocking on that door. Are you Ben? Yes. You work at KUPD?" [(37:41)].

The story serves as a vessel for broader discussions about the legal and societal expectations placed on individuals regarding paternity and familial responsibilities.

4. Two Bigfoot Hunters Found Dead Sparking Bigfoot Offer

A shift towards the bizarre occurs as the co-hosts discuss the tragic deaths of two Bigfoot hunters in Washington, using it as a springboard for a comedic deep dive into the mythos surrounding Bigfoot.

Brady Bogen laments, "Two less people that we have to deal with that annually go out search for Bigfoot." [(41:02)]. He humorously suggests that the deaths should deter future hunters, advocating that the taxpayer should not fund rescue missions for those seeking mythical creatures. The conversation takes a satirical turn as Brady and his co-hosts mock the futile endeavors of Bigfoot hunters, blending dark humor with cultural commentary.

Josh Mulcahy responds with a mix of skepticism and amusement, "But we need more people hunting." [(41:05)], reflecting the show's ability to balance humor with absurdity, keeping listeners engaged through unpredictable dialogue.

5. Having Empathy For Starving While Doing Food Contests

The final segment tackles the dichotomy between global hunger issues and the frivolity of competitive food events. The discussion centers on the perceived lack of empathy exhibited by society when confronted with severe food scarcity compared to exaggerated feats of food consumption for entertainment.

Brady Bogen expresses frustration: "This lady in Turkey who squashed giant fruits between her thighs and says we've got a food issue." [(52:45)]. He criticizes the celebration of food contests amidst real-world hunger, arguing that society overlooks the severity of famine in places like Africa in favor of trivial entertainment.

Diane Fisher and Michael contribute with their own takes, underscoring the contradiction between wastefulness and genuine need. Their banter highlights the tension between enjoying food-related entertainment and recognizing the hardships faced by those who lack basic sustenance, promoting a thoughtful reflection on societal priorities.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Brady Bogen on Sharpton's Boycott:
  "Sharpton’s gonna say, I'll never eat that again. Like, here's a lifetime supply of McRibs." [(07:14)]

• Brady Bogen on Vince's Paternity Issues:
  "We found out you can test the DNA of a baby prenatally, if that's how it works." [(13:15)]

• Dick Toledo on Handling Paternity Suits:
  "I had to get a lawyer. Had to pay for the DNA test. Had to pay for everything." [(33:02)]

• Brady Bogen on Bigfoot Hunters:
  "Taxpayer should not fund your retrieval. You should be Bigfoot food and lay in the woods forever and ever." [(41:02)]

• Brady Bogen on Empathy and Food Contests:
  "It's terrible, it's not politics or losing your minds over that. The world's a better place." [(40:34)]
  "This is why you people are hungry. It's not because I'm a lack of food is what you're stuffing in your gullet." [(50:41)]

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully intertwines humor with pressing social issues, offering listeners a blend of entertainment and insightful commentary. From critiquing high-profile activism to sharing personal anecdotes and satirizing hunting myths, John Holmberg and his team engage their Arizona audience with a dynamic and thought-provoking conversation. Whether dissecting the efficacy of boycotts against DEI initiatives, navigating the complexities of paternity disputes, or highlighting societal hypocrisies, the show remains a staple for those seeking both laughs and meaningful dialogue.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.

[Brady]

For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes I can to all the things you want to do. And and all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core Institute.com college hoops are here.

[Brett]

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[Dick Toledo]

You thought that was funny?

[Brady]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Brett]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Brady]

Ah, thank you Miles to nowhere. I do have a couple of follow ups there. I'll get to that one later. Everybody's worried about the the raids and stuff, but in the ways that I am, it's like it's not going to happen. We know. Josh Mulcahy, the Irish guard shows up. Josh, very funny man. Says funniest thing about the inauguration was my mother frantically messaging me worried that I was going to be deported Because I was born here to Irish parents and illegally attained citizenship. Apparently. She's setting up the guest room at the house. She's mad as a bag of spiders, that lady. She's back in Ireland worried because evidently letting Josh know, that's the thing we did legal about your citizenship. You've got to get out of there. You're gonna end up in a. In a prison cell with a bunch of Mexican boys. You're not gonna make it. Ireland is the Mexico of Europe. It's a bunch of gotta be angry, fighting. Yeah, we do it. We want to. This one says, this is from Miguel. We went to Vegas on our. On our set jet, private jet trip with Miguel and his wife. Remember the miniature people? No, they're great. Says wife comes home yesterday all pissed off with an attitude. Even the kids are asking, what's mom like this for? She's upset about the raids. What the f. Do I have to do with that? Just because I voted for Trump, it's my fault he's President. My vote made all that difference. Even if I voted for Biden, Trump still would have won effort. I'm gonna call ICE on my wife. I'm sending them all back. There you go, Miguel. Send her ass back. She's giving you grief. Yeah. Look, if I was a Mexican, husband or wife, there's my armor. I will threaten to call ice. My mom and dad got into a fight once when I was about 13, and they were not a violent fighting couple by any stretch at all. Never. Every family has a couple blow ups. And I remember my dad was. I don't know what they were even fighting about, but I'm standing there holding my poodle, Happy. I loved Happy. She was the best. And I got Happy. And I'm holding her and Happy's growling because there's tension in the air. My dad's standing right in front of my mom and he said something to the effect of, I want to bounce you off every wall in this room. It was furious. And she grabbed the phone on their nightstand and she goes, do it. And I swear I watched. I watched him, like, ball up, like, oh, my God. I mean, he's gonna. They're gonna kill each other. Like, this is. I've never seen this before. And. But she used the threat of, like, I'll call, like a domestic violence shelter. I'll have your ass. And it calmed him right down. If I was in a Hispanic household, I'd have the ICE number on the fridge. I'd have, like, all over the place. I'd have ICE dialed, like, ready to go at all times. Do it. Do it. Oh. Oh, you don't like that I didn't take the garbage out on Wednesday morning because I forgot. I'll be right back. I. Can I help a lady in the house? I don't think she was legally.

[Diane Fisher]

You sort of a bitch.

[Brady]

This one says, back in the late 90s, John Danny's family car wash employed illegals. They got in trouble for it. I remember that.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, I remember that. At 43rd Avenue, an Indian school, ICE raided us one day. My buddy, who's six 3, 330 pound white guy is on the news, took off running with all these illegals when the funniest. That's what he said. Funniest thing I ever saw. We asked him, what'd you run for? He goes, everybody else was running. I didn't know what was going on. Why are you just hauling ass down the road? I say that like I'd watch a raid, like everything's fine, but if the doors got just busted, I'd start running. I'm like, I don't know what's happening.

[Michael]

You imagine the cops just laughing at him too. White boy run.

[Brady]

Yeah. What's he running for? And what are the cops assume? Oh, God. Drug warrant. Yep. Anyway, I like that. The other thing I like is that my dream of a world where, look, I'm not a fan of, like, not being allowed to put in your window what people you won't serve. I've always been a fan of the idea that that's something I wish we could do. Civil rights kind of ruin that. But I like the idea of, like, when windows say, no Jews, no blacks. And I'm like, okay, the owner is announcing whose money he hates. Yeah. And as a human being, I'll walk by that and go, I'm not going to support that either. And it's up to the free market. That's the beauty of democracy, is you let an idiot run an idiot business. But the law makes it so the racist owners can hide their true feelings. Now, if I had a sign that said, no bald guys. I hate balds. No balds in the store. I'm not eating there. It's the last thing I'm going to do. And if somebody said, we can't put that sign up, you got to serve him. Now. He's going to take his anger out some other way. I like when an owner says what he hates. I love that. Absolutely love it. So I watched Al Sharpton yesterday screaming and yelling that he's going to boycott all the businesses that no longer go through dei because DEI is now. That's on fire.

[Josh]

Suspended right now. Right.

[Brady]

Well, it is over. Like it is in the government. It is not a thing. So at least across the board there. So. And then so meta Google. There's a few other big giant place McDonald's that have said, we're no longer using DEI as a hiring thing. We're not going to go down that road.

[Michael]

I think Lowe's said it a while.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's a bunch of giant ones and Sharpton said that's fine. Then you don't like the DEI system, then I'll encourage people who would fall under that umbrella to not go there. And that's great. You have that right. I think that's awesome. But here's the thing. If the market still supports it, you have to shut up just because you're protesting it and it doesn't work because I don't think you're going to get a whole lot of. I watch the commercials. I don't think you get a whole lot of black people stop eating at McDonald's. I think that's. I think that's going to. I think that's pretty much going to be. You're not stopping that. Those French fries are delicious. There's no possible way. And it's their target audience in the. In the inner cities and main big towns. That's who they target. All the billboards, all the commercials. It's like the, you know, people of color are who. McDonald's are like, you want a cheap meal and a lot of food.

[Michael]

White, black or other. With the McRib back, nobody's gonna stop.

[Brady]

Nobody stops.

[Michael]

It doesn't matter.

[Brady]

You bring up the McRib, which I, you know, was trying to dance around, but it doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

White or other.

[Brady]

Al Sharpton's gonna say, I'll never eat that again. Like, here's a lifetime supply of McRibs. McDonald's is all right.

[Josh]

That's how he operates.

[Brady]

And that's exactly it. But it's the thing where. I understand your point. But if the free market said, even if Brady had porkopolis still and it said whites only, you'd be like, it's horrible. But if enough people in that community supported is what it is, and you have to let that. I love the idea of that because it keeps me away because I'm a decent person. And if that's what the clientele you want, okay. But for the most part, I think if you had that up Your business would fail, and not because people are outside protesting, is that people don't give you that money. They just don't.

[Josh]

I know. And to what degree? Like, if it came down to it, if a restaurant was like that.

[Brady]

Well, I mean, it used to be that way because it was violent. What they needed to stop was the violent side of it. And it does lead to that. So, I mean, there's, you know. But still, I don't. I want the cook. If I could find out that the cook at any restaurants, like the one thing I hate, my wife left me for a six foot bald guy. It looks like Walter White. And that triggers me. I'm not eating there. I want to know. And I can't. You can't possibly know everybody's problems. But at the very least, on a core base thing, if you have a sign outside said, here's an entire group of people I will not enjoy being around. It keeps. Keeps those people in the know about. I don't know why you'd want to eat there. When the gays wanted wedding cakes, that place said, I'm not going to make you one. They forced them. They were like, you're going to make them? Like, why do you want you to court? Why do you want to eat their food? There's no possible way I'm eating a wedding cake. I'd let the news know. And the place doesn't serve us because we're gay. It's like, all right, you guys do it. I'm not eating there. And God forbid you force them to change their ways. I'm certainly not going back.

[Michael]

Sharpton. So annoying.

[Brady]

Sharpton is.

[Michael]

I mean, I'll go anywhere that he's not going.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I mean, he's just annoying.

[Brady]

Are you stopping anybody from Facebook or Instagram or Google? Google. They're gonna have people not Google stuff anymore because DEI is no longer in place. I think the DEI thing is gonna. It'll die on the vine because it's a look. And I think most people would find it insulting that the only reason they get hired is because of their lifestyle rather than qualified. Yeah. You know, again, that argument that keeps going around is like, the DEI in California with the firefighters was so important. And I say it. I don't know if anybody else says, hey, my house is on fire. Send anybody but white people. Nobody's ever said that. I'll take anybody. I'll take 10 firefighters going through the transition in the dress, makeup, all the gear. So long as they got there on time, got the job done. You can Tote me out of a fire. I don't care what you look like.

[Josh]

Yes, my house is on fire. And you sent the crew over. You sent the Chinese crew. I can't believe you guys would.

[Brady]

The Chinese fire drill. I see what Brady's doing. That took a long time. I helped you land that plane. We got it. We got it down a little faster than you needed to go there. I didn't know what he's doing here.

[Michael]

Thanks, Captain Sully.

[Brady]

I mean, we're all alive, but it was a rough landing anyway. It was a. He just that nobody, nobody should care. But, yeah, Sharpton screaming and yelling about that. I'm like, okay, if it doesn't work, though, you gotta shut up also. Yes.

[Michael]

You'll never shut up.

[Brady]

I know, but that's the thing. If people are like, all right, alright, we're going to keep Googling. We don't care if they hire enough trans people or what. We're going to keep Googling. We kind of need that one. If Google decided to say it was racist, like, just out loud, people would still be like, all right, until something better comes on, I'm still going to use it. I'm not going back to Jeeves.

[Michael]

That's the thing.

[Brady]

Yeah, ask Jeeves. I don't know. Probably ask Jeeves sitting there going, we hire tranny.

[Michael]

We love everybody.

[Brady]

It's. And then the other thing yesterday I watched is that they had some sort of. They keep dragging religious people up there speaking, and Trump is sitting at something and some. I don't know if it was a lesbian or look like it went up there and started to talk about how the new administration needs to be nicer to gays and trans people. And I'm like, shut up, Church. I don't think you're the one that can throw that message at anyone. You guys got to be more fair to gays. The Lord. No, your message is lost on this one. You can't. You can't be one that says that. You need to pipe down there, Church. How can you be so mean to the trans community? Backseat you go ahead and get in the back there. You're not allowed to talk about fairness to gays, Church. It's like Papa John starting to go out there and give a speech to the NBA. It's like, it's just not a thing. You can't. You can't chastise us on what you've done for thousands of years and then go, I don't like what's going on with this guy. Send a representative from not church. I got an update from Vince.

[Michael]

Oh, nice.

[Brady]

First email I had this morning says, hi, guys. I laugh when I hear you guys talking about, oh, by the way, Vince is the guy from last week. Just to recap the people who don't know Vince is the guy from last week who it was Messy. Got married January 1st, found out his wife was pregnant January 6th or 7th, she breaks away on the 13th, disappears for four days and then has a talk with him that she may have had been impregnated by a fling she had pre wedding with her Middle Eastern boyfriend from Montreal. So not sure it's Vince's baby.

[Josh]

And yeah, and we're assuming that because her name's Omar. That's how we know.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's right. Did we make that up or was that. No, I'm not raising Omar's baby. I think we made it up. That's right. No, no, he said it in the email. That's right. Because it said I'm not going to raise Omar's baby.

[Josh]

But you're just assuming that's.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't know. Well, yeah, but yeah. I mean, it would live with you. You know, your wife says it's yours or his and I don't know because. So they had their talk and whatever we, we suggested abortion says. I laugh when I hear you guys talking about me. All I think to myself is, why did I turn to this group in my darkest hour? I wonder that too.

[Michael]

Why we think.

[Brady]

I'm glad you do. But anyway, it says, but honestly, a few laughs through this disaster helped. You guys are like friends. We've decided not to continue our marriage. We're looking into an annulment. The Vince is going to break it off. We found out you can test the DNA of a baby prenatally, if that's how it works. We found that out too through this process. So says we're going to do that. Frankly, I am not rooting for it to be mine. By the way, you making fun of the Middle Eastern ex boyfriend from Montreal was the first time I didn't feel completely alone for a minute. He's also an MMA fight coach. Did I mention that? Oh, man, he's short, but he's jacked. I'm no slouch, but I'm not living in his world. She says if it's my kid, she'd like to try again with me. It's also raw right now I don't even want to make a decision. I don't really want to lose her. But I'm reminded Every single time she says she's pregnant, that impending doom is probably right around the corner. I know I'm not a good guy either. The ex I had a fling with right before the wedding. Uh, I'm not getting with that. She's a horrible narcissist who looks great when she puts makeup on and dresses it up. But when she's not in makeup or good clothes, she looks homeless and fat. So I'm not interested in going back there. Thank God I used a rubber. Unlike my stupid almost ex wife. Since I asked before, I'll ask again. Any more advice? Maybe you guys should start a side podcast where you just solve people's problems and they save money on therapy. Signed, Vince.

[Michael]

Not a bad idea.

[Brady]

It isn't a bad idea. We'll help. Yeah, ask an. I think it would be called morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne, now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC.

[Brady]

In my car and the air is.

[Dick Toledo]

Blowing kind of cool, but it really.

[Brady]

Smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Brady]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco.

[Dick Toledo]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco, Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[Brady]

A whole lot more.

[H]

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[I]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018. Our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restore my civil rights.com and book a free consultation today.

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

Any advice for Vince?

[Michael]

Well, he's already making it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah, he is. But it might change a little bit if all son of his kid.

[Michael]

Why she's still a. I know.

[Brady]

It's okay.

[Josh]

He's still. But I didn't say he wasn't rubber it changes it.

[Brady]

It's a good point.

[Josh]

A little bit. As far as responsibility.

[Brady]

Yeah. You're going to be tied to her forever anyway. Yeah. If you want to love her on top of it and kind of.

[Josh]

You're the one that has to choose that erase almost. It's not wrong. Think if you're like, you know what?

[Brady]

Oh man, that's a. I messed up.

[Josh]

I mean it's not like I'm innocent, but I did use a condom. If she's over it, you have. You know, there's trust. The trust barrier you got to build back up again.

[Michael]

No trust.

[Josh]

Or you just start over or just start.

[Brady]

Start over because it doesn't pay for it. Well, I mean start over even with her where it's like, look, it's not about trust. It's about past. If that's his kid.

[Josh]

Yep.

[Brady]

Then you sit back and just say we're starting fresh from zero. Get everything out and I'm not. Yeah. You have to talk it out to like the studs. You have to tear it down to the studs. You can't ignore it and just, you can't. It'll. It's, it'll. You'll just live with clouds. But yeah, you should leave too.

[Josh]

And, and you can be a response. I mean the responsibility is fine. You can. You can both raise the kid or.

[Brady]

Just hope it's Omar's.

[Josh]

Yeah, just. That makes the decision a little bit.

[Brady]

Easier or a little bit. It's done at that point. I know Brady's not a fan. Get rid of this thing. It's just gonna live a miserable life.

[Michael]

With Sprite and graham crackers. We'll pay for the graham crackers.

[Brady]

Omar and mma. Omar up there in Montreal, flying in once every four. Four months. And that's going to end ugly. That's going to be Omar.

[Josh]

I don't think I could stick around.

[Brady]

Oh, you're not staying if it's Omar. But then. But then the kid has to have Omar, the absentee mma.

[Josh]

He's got you schoolboy pinned. He'll take you at an early age.

[Brady]

No, he won't, because his dad won't be there to train him. He's going to be flitting around with an MMA dad, DNA, but he's not going to have any of the skills because Omar's up there in Canada.

[Josh]

It doesn't just happen genetically.

[Brady]

No. Yeah. No, Brady. Thank God for Kirby, that it's not just a meme. She has a chance. No, you can't just pass on. It's not like the Matrix where they plug in all the MMA stuff and kid comes out, he's a baby soup. Brilliant. It could be that we need Brazilian Jiu Jitsu just shooting out of him the second he's on the. In the crib. Yeah. This is the Vince.

[Michael]

Wait, they both went out and boned X's before your wedding.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Michael]

He just means in general. Yeah. Both sides.

[Brady]

It doesn't seem like that's gonna be a feasible thing to continue. And then if you have more kids with her, like, let's say five years, she's like, I have another kid, and then she gets pregnant again. You're gonna sit and go, and then you're gonna go online and you see where Omar was. You're gonna wonder if he was in town that weekend. And by the way, what a dummy here. If you're gonna. If you're gonna impregnate yourself with a side piece, keep it in the same, you know, Benjamin Moore color scheme. What are you, an idiot? You can't go off and drift off and bang Jani and come home and go, oh, boy.

[Michael]

Ask Steve Nash.

[Brady]

Exactly. At the very least, bang something close. If it was, you know, what do they call that? Indian sand white. And then, like, Moroccan whites. Those are right next to each other on that palette on the palette, keep it in the same card of the five colors. That way you don't have any explaining to do unless the guy gets uppity about a DNA test. Once that happens, you're screwed. But try to keep it at least in the same line, you know, don't go way over here to Indian red, and then that's a real color. And then come white back over here to peach, and then say, we'll see in eight months. That's trouble. You're just ruining lives. Omar, the Middle Eastern Montreal MMA fighter, It's going to come out different, and then you're going to have everybody hate you like family. Everybody. At least this way, you're just, you know. Well, but, Vince, keep us up to date on whether or not it stays yours. Say, the only way Vince can have a life without girls if he can put out of his mind that every time she goes out with the girls or says she's going in if she's not actually flying to Montreal to bang Omar. If he can't do that, he's in for a terrible existence with no rubber. Double bang girl. That's true. He's got that narcissist dumb.

[Michael]

She was the first time banging the ex.

[Brady]

But again, we all do dumb.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then later you learn from dumb. It is pretty dumb to go.

[Michael]

Come on.

[Brady]

I'm with you, Brett. You don't bang the different.

[Josh]

It was double X's, right? Was that an X?

[Brady]

Yeah, they both went back to X's and had, like, that good.

[Michael]

He said double X's. I was like, what?

[Brady]

Omar's a double X magnet. But the difference was, you're gonna notice that baby's gonna fall out in four months.

[Michael]

Leave now.

[Brady]

If the baby comes out in four months, it's because of Omar. Either way.

[Josh]

He'S saying mine that I want. I just realized, man, she's made up nice. But after that makeup.

[Brady]

Oh, the pig.

[Josh]

Yeah, but you're not. He doesn't hear that about no Omar.

[Brady]

Well, no, he knew that going back to that ex, he's like, I know this has no future, but I got to get one out of my system before the wedding. Yeah, you know, that doesn't make it right. It's just what it is.

[Michael]

Call Ice on Omar.

[Brady]

Hey. There you go. But he's in Montreal already. If he comes back. Yeah, they're running that up in Canada, too. They have a remain in Canada rule now, just to keep it even. This one says if he wants advice. How about a reminder that they better give all those wedding gifts Back. Oh, they didn't even make it two weeks. More proof that Brady has the right idea when it comes to wedding gifts. Jesse, that is very true. Because if you bought them like an oven or something.

[Josh]

Oh, there's some.

[Brady]

You get some nice high priced items and they. They make it to the 14th and they got married on the 1st. You got to give those presents back. And that's why giving cash is a bad idea. That's untraceable. It's like mob stuff. Like, I gave you guys a thousand dollars cash and you made it two weeks.

[Michael]

I always give envelopes. I don't. I don't buy presents.

[Brady]

Screw there. I'm not shopping for.

[Michael]

Although the last wedding we all went to, Brady was the smart one. Hey, yeah, they'll cost us a fortune.

[Brady]

Gimped out on a present.

[Diane Fisher]

My present is my presence.

[Brady]

All right? He showed up as six month rule. I'm the one getting hit with all the Jew jokes, but Brady rolls up. Kept forgetting. You didn't forget Scrooge McDuck over here.

[Dick Toledo]

They sent you an Amazon link. That's how I sent.

[Brady]

How I got one too. In fact, we were on a text thread going, what'd you guys get them? Exactly. So we didn't get the not answering.

[Diane Fisher]

That messy text thread.

[Brady]

That's why. That's what you don't remember out of convenience. Of course you don't out of convenience because you walked in there going, yep, where'd you get them?

[Diane Fisher]

Presents day. I thought they asked for none.

[Brady]

That's why we were all so shocked when you said, didn't get him anything yet. Like, what do you mean yet? And that's where you started your whole 6 month rule. 6 month fake plan because you got busted Eureka moment. You were hoping no one would notice and you never had to say anything. But when we called you out, you're.

[Diane Fisher]

Like, yes, make it last six months.

[Brady]

They did seven and then bounced. And Brady was ended up looking like a genius. They went tight on seven.

[Michael]

I will then fork it over, Logan.

[Brady]

I'll give it to him seven with.

[Diane Fisher]

A 30 day grace period.

[Brady]

I'm just jealous about it. Well, you didn't think about it because you're a decent person. You thought you should get it. You got invited to get a year. Now it's a year.

[Michael]

I thought it was six months.

[Brady]

I still have to get.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, you said six months, but then you worked it.

[Josh]

Look, I. I know it's six months, but I think it's what some people. You get a year for what you can send Over. Well, you can send over a wedding.

[Brady]

Gift whenever you can get anybody you.

[Dick Toledo]

Racially profiled versus six months in a year.

[Josh]

No, this was on Ronnie's desk.

[Brady]

Oh. Eventually. Eventually Kirby and her filthy toilet are going to get blamed for this. I. Look, we know it wasn't a pre planned plan. Like you didn't go in there.

[Diane Fisher]

Here's my meticulous plan. I have a rule.

[Brady]

No, you just got caught not buying them something. You threw out some numbers and in the end we're all like, hey, this actually is pretty good. Your scramble turned out to be a pretty good idea.

[Michael]

I give it to him.

[Brady]

Yeah, but this Vince situation, in 14 days, they owe everybody their prizes back. You get nothing. That toaster, I don't care if it's back in the box or what. Whoever got you that, you put it up online, you start a page, and saying what did you get us? Click on it, claim it, it's going back to your house, and if the person who bought it says now you can still have it, split it up in the annulment. I don't want somebody's half toaster. I already got a toaster.

[Josh]

Was that old school? Their wedding didn't work out and Will Ferrell gives the toaster to the.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, it was a wedding gift. This one says they're both losers. End it. One after fat chick, the other after short. Dude, that's true. They both have terrible taste. Anyway, Vince, I'm sorry for you, buddy, but why you came to us, I don't know. I really appreciate that you did because it's great, but. Oh, he didn't know. Tyrus says that. He didn't ever mention if she's still currently in contact with Omar. She probably has to be.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I would think so.

[Brady]

Or maybe she's pulling a Brady and she won't until she finds out for sure.

[Michael]

She just calls 1-800-Discover and gets ahold of him.

[Brady]

Maybe that's good advice, Vince. Find out. I just picked that up. That would be great too. Good day, eh? My name is Omar from Discover Card. Buddy. Thank you for calling Canadian Discover Card. Can I help you? Yeah, my name's Vince and I think you knocked up my wife. Oh, buddy. No, no, no.

[Josh]

He goes for the manager. Let me get my manager.

[Brady]

Let me go boot the room and find my manager. Indian Canadians are weird. Yeah. Vince, you should find out if Omar knows. Because the worst thing that can happen here is the MMA fighter finds out after it's surely his and then comes storming out here mad. Or you Know you got to tell him, hey, look, you're also on the menu here. This potentially could be yours. I don't want to blindside you and let you find it and let him know that the test is coming and he needs to sweat for a little bit, too.

[Josh]

I don't think Omar will come out storming mad.

[Brady]

No he's ever leaving Canada. He's gonna be like a Vietnam dodger. He's never coming back. That dude is going to stay, but yeah, the man. That's an interesting idea, but I think I would definitely ask her. Hey, if you're still in contact with Omar, we need to let him know what's going on here. That he's. Yeah, he is one of the finalists for the Bachelor.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. I'll speak for the kid. They're going to want to know.

[Brady]

Yeah. If anybody would. Toledo would definitely tell you. Where's dad is a big question. And dads would want to know. We've had a couple people in this building get on that list. You've been on one of those lists, haven't you? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Some girl thought she was going to try to pin you, maybe. Yeah.

[Michael]

Oh, you're kidding.

[Dick Toledo]

Fraternity test brought by the state of Utah. And her.

[Brady]

Yeah, she had like four or five guys on the list, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Brady]

That's a tough thing.

[Dick Toledo]

I was top of the list, so I was first contacted. I had to first.

[Brady]

Are you going through. First off, how do they deliver that?

[Dick Toledo]

The King County Sheriff's department came to my door.

[Brady]

They face to face.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

And knocks on the door.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you familiar with a Carla Renee Hart?

[Brady]

You crack the door open and see this is like a raid. Are they dressed up in outfits?

[Dick Toledo]

Like 7:30am And I was a bartender, so I was barely.

[Brady]

But they're in, like, cop outfits.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice guys.

[Brady]

And they open the door. This can't be him.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Brady]

You get laid by a lady named Carla. I'm shocked. Find the gentleman in here who's got some libido.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that a waterbed I see in your bedroom?

[Brady]

This guy didn't get laid by him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bother you, sir. No, that's him. That's the guy. How drunk were you knocked. So they come as cops, knock on the door and say, here's paper.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. By way of. I can't remember where she was living in Utah at the time, but she was getting benefits in Utah.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

So Utah basically told her, if you want to continue getting benefits, you need to who the dad is. So she came up with the list. I was top of the list list.

[Brady]

How old was the kid?

[Dick Toledo]

He would have been five at that time.

[Brady]

She waited a few years.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And you remember she was.

[Dick Toledo]

She was drawn benefits for all those years.

[Brady]

So when they get. When they bang on the door and ask you the question, are you like. Oh, like, you immediately go back to the night in question? Yeah. So you're like, oh, nuts. Yeah, that was. And you were worried then. And then. But you never knew she was pregnant.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[Brady]

So you banged her and then just forgot her. Lost contact.

[Dick Toledo]

About four or five months later, I moved to Seattle.

[Brady]

Good move. So you looked guilty. You pulled a full Toledo on that one. That was exactly like your dad. I better get out of Dodge. So then they do that, and then how long until you find out that there's other guys? Did they tell you how many people are involved?

[Dick Toledo]

They didn't tell me that. My lawyer ended up finding that out. Had to get a lawyer. My mom was all fired up about it because I told her. I'm like, look, this happened, but, I mean, I need to be involved with this. And so mom got me a lawyer. We went and had to do a DNA test. Had to wait probably at that time, I think it was probably about three weeks before we.

[Brady]

Oh, my God. Just sweating bullets. Some morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

It was a total MORI thing. Got the whole legal paperwork that said you are not.

[Brady]

Did you frame afterwards, too? I did.

[Dick Toledo]

I did.

[Brady]

I might have flown over to her and banged her again. Now we can do it for real. Now I can get you. And I know what to do with it. Oh, my God. Yeah. I couldn't. I. Thank God no one ever wanted to have sex with me. I'm never. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

King county sheriff says, you know, we've been looking for you for a while. And I'm like, I've been here in this exact apartment for a year. You know, I don't know where you've been living.

[Brady]

Like, I haven't been dodging you. I'm not like Brady in the wedding. Right.

[Josh]

You're not good at dodging.

[Brady]

Brady's been ducking the King county sheriff for a long time.

[Diane Fisher]

Never gonna find me.

[Brady]

Wow. That's horrifying. Horrifying.

[Josh]

And then the other five, there's, like, no way, you know, I mean, that time period, if you knew any of the other guys.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I. I didn't know any of the names on the list, but how.

[Brady]

Tough is it for the girl to go all right, here's my list. Yeah, I mean, that's like Santa Claus scroll coming out. I get that.

[Dick Toledo]

But it's also BS because she. They can throw a dart at a board and pick a name, and she can say, that's the guy impregnated me, and then it's up to you. I mean, I get it a little bit on both sides, but, like, for me, I had to go get a lawyer. Had to pay for the DNA test, had to pay for everything. It's like 2500 bucks.

[Brady]

See, if I'm the. If I'm the girl, I risk massive whore reputation because it's going to go away.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, she had it.

[Brady]

But I. But I waste all of the King county resource money by giving him a list of like 30 dudes to where it would be more expensive to find the dead than it would just give you benefits.

[Dick Toledo]

You put the guy that you like most at either. At the top of the bottom, way down.

[Brady]

The dude I'm pretty sure is him. I list later. I might give him a list of like 30 and then not include them. They go, oh, there's one more get.

[Dick Toledo]

On that government dole.

[Brady]

I was gang bang.

[Josh]

They'd have to do it without a while. You'd still have to do the DNA test. I'm saying, oh, no, I wasn't with her. You know, like, people will deny that. Well, that's up to them.

[Dick Toledo]

But then they take you on that list, the state of Utah will come after you whether you say that or not.

[Brady]

And then. And you don't have to pay for the DNA test.

[Dick Toledo]

I did.

[Brady]

Why would you have to pay?

[Josh]

That's what I'm.

[Dick Toledo]

Because I was defending myself.

[Brady]

I know.

[Michael]

You should get your money back then.

[Brady]

Yeah, if. Yeah, if it's not me, I should get a couple hundred bucks, especially back then. So I would just waste the time and money of the county by adding 30 or 40 names to that and just go, brady, Tripp.

[Josh]

Yeah, because what's.

[Brady]

Ed. Come on.

[Michael]

Dave Har.

[Brady]

Our whole staff going down Thriller.

[Michael]

Ben.

[Brady]

Ben, you can't make babies back there.

[Diane Fisher]

He missed.

[Brady]

I think one crawled out. Oh, right. That makes sense.

[Dick Toledo]

Just give the DNA specialist an office downstairs.

[Diane Fisher]

He gave me a chocolate cream pie, and I think a few got out. I had a rogue one go in.

[Brady]

All right, we'll test Ben Gross.

[Dick Toledo]

John, aren't you worried that if the sheriff's office comes looking for Brady, they'll find you one of Ben's gay sperms? It's so gross.

[Brady]

In a girl's butt. What's this room like? There's eggs. I love eggs. Is that a rosebud? Ben's gay sperm going rogue.

[Diane Fisher]

Screw you guys.

[Brady]

I'm getting out of here. Come back, gay sperm. This isn't a man's bottom. I've been bamboozled. This bird's helping Paul wind and he's got a little. Yeah, he's got a little hobo sack. As he leaves the anus.

[Dick Toledo]

You'll miss me.

[Brady]

You guys go ahead. Keep searching for what's not there. The prostate.

[Diane Fisher]

You're never gonna land on it.

[Brady]

Yuck. Girl bits. I'm leaving. I'm cold. He's out there.

[Diane Fisher]

Oh, I've gotta find shelter.

[Brady]

Carl's in there and Ben's gotta get tested. That's how pregnancy works. I learned that in school, but yeah, I'd put a bunch of people on the list. That's got to be tough for a woman, though. It's like here, officers, here's 55 people.

[Josh]

And so there was no reimbursement on the DNA.

[Brady]

Brady. Still worried about this? After all that gay sperm, Everything has receded.

[Diane Fisher]

Seriously, did you get your money back or not?

[Dick Toledo]

Not even close.

[Diane Fisher]

Can you file? Is it too late still to file? I go get that cash.

[Brady]

Especially back when they were doing that to you. That was like early 2000s, late 90s, bro. That was cheap. That wasn't cheap getting DNA test back.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it was lawyer and everything then was around 2,500 bucks.

[Michael]

I'd have sent her a bill.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, then I gotta go find her.

[Brady]

You know it's worth paying. Just get her out of your life for a couple hundred bucks and never see her again.

[Michael]

John, coming from the state of Utah. Living there my whole life up until 10 years ago. The state of Utah does not care what resources they will spend to find.

[Brady]

The baby daddy for a slut, that's probably true. Out the slot and do that work. Imagine knocking on that door. Are you Ben? Yes. You work at kupd? Yes. Did you move that feather ball out of the way? I gotta talk to you. What is it, officer? I'm busy. Put some pants on. We need to chat. Do you know this lady? Oh, God, yes. I'm pretty sure we're knocking on the wrong door here, but.

[Dick Toledo]

What? I know her.

[Brady]

I'm gonna need you to come with me for a second. What does that mean? I mean don't come with me. You know what I mean. Follow me. Get behind me. You know what? Just sit in the passengers. Apparently one of your gay sperms went rogue and possibly Knocked out this little. Let's set that up as a joke. Oh, have some guys come down here, and we'll have our cop friends come down and subpoena Ben to give a DNA test for a baby. Oh, man.

[Dick Toledo]

Because that baby would be.

[Brady]

Oh, we don't know when the last time.

[Dick Toledo]

I know, but I'm just. We do a little around the scale. 18 years ago.

[Brady]

Let's find out the last time Ben went our way and then, like, dummy up some papers and. Yes, yes, we have to do this. Yes. Oh, I mean, you pulled it off.

[Michael]

With a drug test years ago. You could do this.

[Brady]

Ben's one of my favorite people in the building. But this could be. His laugh is the most contagious thing of all. Well, not the most, but a very contagious thing.

[Dick Toledo]

And it reverberates.

[Brady]

Oh, Booms through the wrist. But, I mean, when we reveal that, I don't know if he'd laugh or just lose it, but that would be pretty fun. That's a great practical joke to do.

[Dick Toledo]

Does he like kids?

[Brady]

It's not. Look, your inner trigger just got harmed. There's no real baby or dad. You don't have to worry about reuniting a child and his father. It's a joke anyway. What are you going to do? That could be real fun, though. And then, you know, the other thing I saw that we get into was the world is a better place as of this morning, and I don't care. It's not politics or losing your minds over that. The world's a better place. They found two noted Sasquatch hunters dead in Washington. Oh, my God. Two less people that we have to deal with that annually go out search for Bigfoot, and hopefully the same people that wasted the money and resources will no longer have to search for dumb Bigfoot people. If you get stuck looking for Bigfoot or die looking for Bigfoot, the taxpayer should not fund your retrieval. You should be Bigfoot food and lay in the woods forever and ever. And if you've got a family member who goes missing because they were looking for Bigfoot, don't ever call the police that they didn't come home. That's it. If you've got a dumb uncle or a brother or whatever, it's like, we're going Bigfoot hunting. When he doesn't call back, Consider yourself lucky and do not waste the resources looking for your Bigfoot dummy.

[Josh]

But we need more people hunting.

[Brady]

We need tons more. If you're in the. If you're in the category of thinking, you know Somebody's gonna find him someday. Why not me? Get out there. Get out there as fast as you can. Take very limited clothes and like. Don't, don't. You'll find him first day, I guess. I'm guessing you don't even need a coat. But get out in those woods and find that bigfoot.

[Michael]

Go to MMP Guns. Byron will give you a discount, no problem.

[Brady]

40% off your gun today if you go Bigfoot hunting and, and send pictures back. 100 off if you get a Bigfoot. You go into MMP guns today and say, I'm Bigfoot hunting. I'm gonna need something pretty powerful. You buy that gun, you come back with a Bigfoot, you get guns for life, for free.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, what a great.

[Brady]

Never gonna get it. And vogue. Never ever gonna get it. We need. Brady's right. We need more Bigfoot hunters to brave up and find that Bigfoot. Get out there, gang. You'll get them. There's no question. We're.

[Josh]

We're due.

[Brady]

We're so close. These two guys that just got killed and found and there's like. I saw it on the news. There was like a whole team of people dragging them out. And I'm like helicopters. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. There's no search team for Bigfoot hunters. You become Bigfoot Kibble. That's it. You just. You wander around in Bigfoot territory, you drop dead looking for him. It's the circle of life, my friend. It's nature. It's. You get Bigfoot gonna eat ya. And that's the way it should stay. I think it's a better world when the Bigfoot hunter doesn't return from his excursion. My dad told me once he was out hunting for something that didn't exist, I'd be like, I'd kiss him goodbye. That's it. I'll miss you. Because even if you do make it back, I'm never talking to you again, you lunatic.

[Michael]

I'm calling Omar.

[Brady]

Yeah. So John made a couple friends. Drake and I are going up into Washington. We're lifted, Bigfoot. Oh, it's been a nice run, dad. It's been a nice run. I think we got him. I've been tracking. You're not going to find Bigfoot, but I'm going to say goodbye to you forever. It is dangerous. I may not make it back. Oh, no, no, no. Even if you make it back, we're never gonna see each other again. I can't face you ever again. You're nuts. I would like to before you go Bigfoot hunting, offer therapy and help so you don't ever say this to people again. John, it's my quest. Okay. Adios, old man. Then I have like a fake funeral for him because I don't ever want to see him again.

[Josh]

And dad, is December and January the best time to go looking for him?

[Brady]

I've got a goose down jacket. I'll be fine. Like, you're not gonna make it. You're not gonna make it. You're an idiot.

[Dick Toledo]

Does this say Old Navy on your jacket?

[Brady]

Is that. Isn't a Bigfoot somewhat bare? Like, don't they hide from the snow too? Or they like. I know Sasquatch loves the snow. Yeah, Sasquatch Yeti. Yeti loves the snow. But that's a different hunt.

[Dick Toledo]

Sasquatch is brown.

[Brady]

Yeah, Sasquatch is brown. And Yeti is white. One's allowed one's notice. They'll get them. But if you're up there hunting for winter Bigfoot, I don't want you to come back. I want this. I want. I want Darwin to start winning a few of these fights. Worst thing in the world is when that door swings open. Oh, you're back. You got a bigfoot in the F150? Nope. Struck out. Yeah. I don't think you can live here anymore. You gotta. How can you show your goddamn face empty handed after a Bigfoot hunt?

[Josh]

There's always next year.

[Brady]

Why did you cut it off? There's no permit or time limit. Just stay out there.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, I ran out of resources.

[Brady]

Only took two weeks. Look, get back out there. What are you doing? So anyway, the world's a better place. Two more Bigfoot hunters found dead. And I say you leave them. No more hunting for Bigfoot hunters. They're out there. Bigfoot's evaded us for all of eternity somehow. And if you go out there looking for them and you become food, you stay food. That's what I think. Not like elk hunters who hurt themselves. You know, elk are real and that's an accident. Bigfoot not real. You're wasting everybody's time. Stupid hiker law. You go hiking, it's 120 degrees. Why do you gotta put everybody else through it? And expense and everything else. You're the dumb me figure it out. I've always said that. I go biking in the heat, I'm by myself. If I crash, you leave me out there. No reason to wait. Come pick me up in the winter time when it's safe for everybody else. I'm the idiot. I don't get it. I ride. I've done that a couple times. With this new schedule. I'm trying to keep it. I hop on. I can't do it. It's still way too cold lately. But I did one ride over the break at night. And I got real scared. Real scared. And there's like nobody gonna pop out and get me. And no animals on Squaw peak that are gonna. You know, that trail isn't gonna suddenly have some sort of chupacabra.

[Josh]

Everything's burrowed in.

[Brady]

Right? You just. Yeah. And nothing's gonna stand. And I should be able to either scream and run fast enough on the bike to get away. Worst thing that can happen is I hit a rock, I fall off and I roll down a hill and roll.

[Michael]

In the side of me gulch.

[Brady]

I could roll into the gulch and then got hope I'm dead by the bottom of the gulch. But yeah, I mean, I'll just lay out there with one of those weird. Just one of those weird LED lights shooting off into the sky with the front tire spinning and no body within 35ft. That's how I get found. That's my own doing. You don't need a rescue team for bigfoot hunters. That should be a rule. What were you hunting for? Bigfoot? We are not looking for you. You're done. So. But Brady couldn't nail that one more right now. If you're driving to work on it's real. Well, you should get out there if you know it's real and you feel pretty secure that you're. You can prove that he's out there waiting. Just not in my rule. I think Brady's right. Not enough eyeballs looking for him. I think Morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Josh]

Those guys could have been close.

[Brady]

You know. It should pick up from where they stop. Right? Where did they stop? Because maybe bigfoot hit him.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And killed him. Because they were so close. Like. Oh, they were. They. They found this just in. They found some bigfoot handprint on their heads. He smacked them down. And that's what happened there. If you can get all your dumb bigfoot friends in a circle. All you flat earthers, one big circle. And then close the circle and meet in the middle. You'll get them. You surround them. Surround them up there. I'm not the same about the lost Dutchman's mine, though I do think if you do that in June, you're kind of stupid and you shouldn't get a search team. But Right about now, it isn't the worst idea to hunt for that. Because if it's real, and so far it's been pretty evasive. But if it's real, I can see why you got a little goofy and started to hunt for that. I don't get why guys in their 80s do it June 18 every year and like wander off into the referring that mind, no, you're not. You're gonna die.

[Josh]

I was thinking about it for years.

[Brady]

Finally, it's time. I've got nothing. They're retired. I got nothing to do. I got no legacy. Grandpa got his walking stick and going up to them superstitions, I'm gonna find it. I've been reading books. And then they go and die in like eight minutes. And grandpa. And then I gotta worry on the 51 about a silver alert. Some guy last seen in the. He's dead. Cause nobody was looking out for Bill. Every time an old man says that in June, he's not coming back. I'll be right back. You can't go anywhere alone. Get in the hat. Come here. No. Where were you gonna go hunting for the mine, of course. Sit down. You're done here. Turn the socks game on. Let him, let him. He'll forget in five minutes. Just a thing. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical truths?

[Michael]

Wake Up Song, of course. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And if you want to head out in the desert looking for the lost Dutchman, well, get yourself a nice mountain bike.

[Brady]

You're not gonna find the D if you find him first. What are you doing here? What are you 300 Fall Willie will be out there, I don't know, sitting on a gold mine.

[Dick Toledo]

Bigfoot was my gold.

[Brady]

Yeah, there you go. He's right underneath me here. Nobody's gonna touch it. It's mine.

[Michael]

Full line of mountain bikes out there. Pivot, Rocky Mountain, Santa Cruz Rocky Mountain. You name it, they got it. And if you want to head up on north, get those skis and snowboards ready to go. And don't forget that new location coming very shortly, hopefully beginning of next month. Over there by the Hawes Trail at Power and McDowell. Keep an eye on actionrideshop.com for all your details and on our list as soon as I can.

[Brady]

Brett, this next thing I'm going to say is for you.

[Michael]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

People, I just got an email from Lee. It says you're not very empathetic towards the immigration situation. And I understand she was nice quick three liner. Basically saying you have to have more humanity than to just think that these raids are a good idea in separating families. She got it. I didn't read the whole thing. I get it. But then I turn to this and say, empathy has many roads, and most of the time it's 90% turned off by everybody. For instance, would we agree that there is a hunger issue in Africa and we all get on board the idea that there is a food problem in Africa?

[Michael]

Yeah, it's terrible food.

[Brady]

Well, there's also that I've had some of it with Janny at his festival. I'm like, this is why you people are hungry. It's not because I'm. A lack of food is what you're stuffing in your gullet sucks. Also, I theorized that when Jani picked my lemon tree that time and nothing grew there for two years, that it wasn't the food, it was the African. It was. They are the ones who killed the food. He plucked that thing dead bones dry. And it's the most you've seen my house. Those lemon trees I've got are insane.

[Josh]

It didn't yield for two years.

[Brady]

Two years. Jani plucked all the lemons off and that thing was dry for two years. It's Africans. Anyway, we can all start from the baseline that Africa, certain parts, has an issue with. You know, what do they call that? Famine. Yes. So then I see that the. And this is not because it's Africa. There's other places that are hungry too. But this. Brett's gonna laugh. But I did see empathy for that is thrown out the window when I see on the news that a Turkish woman broke the record for crushing watermelons between her thighs. Like, if we're wasting that much delicious watermelon for a world record.

[Dick Toledo]

You saw our wing eating contest.

[Brady]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

That is the most Chucking half eaten.

[Brady]

Wings out and then celebrating. All right, let's do it 10 more times with 20 more people.

[Dick Toledo]

Weigh what you didn't eat.

[Brady]

There's a lady in Turkey who squashed.

[Josh]

You, called it waste.

[Brady]

I took the rest home. Five watermelons was the record. You know how many people that feeds delicious fruits?

[Dick Toledo]

I'm not joining in this conversation.

[Brady]

60 seconds. Only using her thighs. And people were in the room celebrating. We've wasted giant lots of food. It's a thing you can sit and say, I'm not empathetic towards one thing, but when I'm watching a Turkish lady mash giant fruits between her thighs and meanwhile, you want me to be empathetic towards the plight of people who are hungry and Whatever else. And I know this is not the proper food to use. Africa's starving.

[Michael]

I'm turning my mic off.

[Brady]

Yeah, we can't have him. And we got this going on. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Can we have any other food?

[Brady]

Can we smash between our legs? Yeah, do cantaloupe. Do something. Nobody eats cauliflower, but you don't put those delicious, gigantic. They're huge. They're giant food producers. And the seeds make more. Right?

[Dick Toledo]

That's where we've gone wrong.

[Brady]

We've gone crazy. Putting it between some Turkish weightlifters thighs and saying, go nuts. Go nuts. The hot dog eating contest. Every year at Nathan's, they should broadcast it. They should have a moment in the middle of that where you see a ton of people from South Sudan sitting in a field looking at a big screen watching Joey Chestnut and whoever else is in that just fire hot dogs in their guts and they're just like, wow.

[Michael]

Really puking it up. All.

[Brady]

Really. So don't tell me about empathy just because you've got a topic. I happen to be an asshole pointing in every direction. I've got empathy for a few things, but for the most part, human behavior. I'm not doing it. And the Guinness Book. They're to blame for this. She sat there and tried. I mean, the fact that she's got to practice that. That's more watermelon wasted. She's sitting at home going, okay, what's my current personal best? Four records. Five. You can't do it again. And then every Saturday she just goes and buys four perfectly delicious watermelon, puts them between her big Turkish thighs and mushes them together. Meanwhile, another kid dies over there in Sudan because he's not eating or Mississippi or wherever else there's food problems. I don't hear. There's got to be hungry people in Turkey.

[Josh]

We have them here.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. They're everywhere. And yet we waste all that food and then scream at each other over this. You gotta be more empathetic towards a cause. No, I don't. No, I don't. We pick and choose our empathy. And that story made me laugh. Then I thought of Brett. Then I thought, how can I tell this story without Brett getting fired? I turned my mic off and you did a good job. But immediately I thought of, where's famine? Oh boy, this is uncomfortable. Stupid Turkish lady. You shouldn't celebrate that. More food. We. We go to those buffets and stuff at the end of the night. And you know what they do with a lot of that? When it's all kind of getting rotten, they bring it over to a food place, like for homeless people. It's not good enough for you anymore. This is the garbage nobody finished. And I saw another story about a lady who hasn't gone to the grocery store in four years because she went on this crusade to prove how much food we waste. She takes it out of dumpsters behind restaurants and grocery stores. She goes, haven't gone to the grocery store in four years. Haven't eaten trash in four years. It's all wrapped up. Food. Well, they say tons of it.

[Josh]

I was just gonna say the. The stat like, of throwing stuff out of refrigerator. It's like 40%.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's like tons of food that's not even cracked.

[Josh]

It's a sell by date. It doesn't mean it's bad.

[Brady]

And they'll try it at the poor people grocery store. They'll give it over there to rancheros or whatever those are, and they'll have that for a little while. And then when there's no good there, they just put it in the dumpster and people will go, all right, well, this place every Tuesday drops off all the food. That's like a questionable day or two past the second expiration. Because decent grocery stores have an expiration date that's called the sell by date. And then they stamp a new thing on it for the, like, the last chance, you know. Then they euthanize it and stuff it in the dumpster. And this lady for four years said, I haven't eaten anything out of an unwrapped box or like a container that has been open. She goes, it's all closed. I haven't gone to the grocery store in four and a half years.

[Michael]

What are the fanduel odds that there's no tan line on her ring finger?

[Brady]

Oh, there's no question you would not want to be around. No, but her. Look, we're not getting into that yuck to her as a person, but she's making a very valid point through her disgusting hippie gross nature. Yeah, but she's basically saying we waste so much food and we sit and scream, oh, we've got a food issue. And, like, there's food. There's poverty and food deserts. No, there's not. There isn't. There's commerce and there's. We can't sell food that's a couple weeks past because it'll make us. You know, there's lawyers involved. You get sick off of your kind bar that you were supposed to eat by December 12th. But you didn't. So it's a little stale.

[Michael]

I'm that boy, though. I'm bad with exercise.

[Brady]

And you throw it out.

[Michael]

Oh, I do.

[Brady]

Right. And she. And probably stuff. You're like, ah, we never got around to this. It's a full box, 100%. Not me. We don't buy a lot. Like, I don't have a lot of food in the house as it is. Just because of that. Because you'll end up tossing half of it.

[Michael]

So even if it's best buy, I throw it, I'm done.

[Brady]

No kidding.

[Michael]

Oh yeah. I'm bad with dates. Nope.

[Brady]

If you see the date, it's. It dies in your brain.

[Michael]

Yep.

[Brady]

Like done the day of. You don't give it an extra day.

[Michael]

I'll go through the day and then it's done.

[Brady]

So like 5pm so. So the milk knows what, like the sun close the business.

[Michael]

It's out in the trash. Yeah, yeah, I'm bad with that.

[Brady]

That's terrible. Well, this lady's been benefiting off of that. Good.

[Michael]

Give her my address.

[Brady]

She's a bit trash. She said she. The only thing that she's done, if I remember what she was saying right, was drinks. Like she'll occasionally find milk. That's the one that I wouldn't play with milk.

[Josh]

And. And you know, I'm not.

[Brady]

I'm not messing around with dairy in a dumpster.

[Michael]

Produce.

[Dick Toledo]

You can tell though. I mean, you can't tell.

[Josh]

Yeah, well, you can tell on milk too.

[Brady]

Well, I'll tell you, with lettuce and stuff, you take the first couple peels off, you got good lettuce under there, right? Yeah. So it's just the shell starts to die, the stuff exposed to the air.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

But yeah, she. She supposedly had never done it, so.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, and all types of produce.

[Brady]

I didn't get into her list, but she. Yeah, she said mostly she was buying boxed items that had been expired, like cereal and was a big one. And like a whole bunch of stuff that had not been open is. They just throw it away.

[Michael]

Maybe just read her bio on match.com. you can find all about it because.

[Brady]

You know, she ain't. She's definitely got a. Tired of being lonely is the top line. What are we going to eat? Well, I go dumpster diving on her. Hello? Hello? Crazy bitch. I knew I was in trouble when she had the overhead shot. She's getting fat off dumpster food. Anyway, don't give me your empathy email. I understand. I'm not very empathetic in A lot of situations. And so are you. So don't. You don't have much empathy for that situation. No, there's plenty of them. You don't either. Guarantee you were giggling at the watermelon crushing the minute you smash that between your legs. It's terrible. You know, we've had Nickelodeon shows and stuff where people are swimming in vats of rice. What are you doing? It's all food. We could use that. Nope, she got five done. And by the way, if you're interested, five's the record. If you think you're. I wouldn't even be curious to try that. How do you train for it?

[Josh]

I didn't know.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that friend that did it, you know?

[Brady]

And then do you scoop it up and take it down to the Shelter?

[Dick Toledo]

Like Ray. You met Ray and Ray was a boxer, and all of a sudden you got interested. Raised gym, you know. Friend of yours is knocking out Johnny.

[Brady]

I think you can knock down three or four watermelons in a minute. That's close to the record. Like, why would I. Why?

[Michael]

I don't think I would hang out with anybody that said that.

[Brady]

They've got watermelon squishings all over their garage. Like, what are you doing? Is Gallagher coming back? I practice this pretty regular. I stopped by the store like you asked, and I brought you five or six watermelons. What are you doing? It's weird. Anyway, sorry. Brett, give us those songs.

[Michael]

All right. Manson, Danzig, Hate Breed. On the list, White Zombies. Welcome to Planet Mother Effort for everything going on in the world right now because everybody's losing their mind. Slipknot, Authority Zero. Mexican Radio for the ice things. Terror, you're caught for ice. Run to the hills for Vince from Maiden Chimera, Machine Head, Dinos, Nails, Dope Debonair for the Raids. Because that was Johnny Tran getting.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Rated in Fast and Furious, Static X and Fear Factory.

[Brady]

That's right. Forgot about.

[Michael]

Yeah, so somebody brought that up.

[Brady]

I was like, oh, well, yeah. Reach. I do like Psychosocial, but I think also you're caught by terror, because it's two minutes and it's just. It's about how long the raid would last.

[Michael]

Yeah. All right, I'll pull up the lyrics because there's a few.

[Brady]

Is it a cussy in that one? All right, let's just go with psychosocial. All right. If you can pull up the lyrics in time. Is he gonna be able to get that quick enough? Sure. You sure? I. I look at those people that dive in Dumpsters for food, though, as you know, the same as those coupon clippers that lose their minds and wreck grocery, y'all. This guy says, I was so depressed, I had the same thing happen to me that happened to Toledo. Knock on the door. Kid was five. I had to wait five months to find out if I was the dad or not. Cool. So the one thing, though, it was a wasn't a girl named Carlo like Toledo's situation. Because I'm a decent man, I would never bang someone named Carla. He's got a thing against Carlos. All right. Oh, geez. The first line that starts strong and stays strong. All right, Terror it is. I'll get rid of this social. It's the first line. I got seven seconds to get to this. We're gonna do it. All right. It's Terror. It's your wake up song. You're caught. It's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.