01-22-26 - Entertainment Drill - MIX - 5x - Debating S*Bag Of The Year Candidates-BO

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD)

Episode: Entertainment Drill – Debating S*Bag of the Year Candidates

Airdate: January 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

This raucous segment of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness dives into their infamous “S*Bag of the Year” debate, where John, Brady, Bret, and company argue over the most awful newsmakers and incidents of the last year. The show moves from dark comedic takes on animal abusers and disturbing local crimes, to irreverent riffing on celebrity scandals and entertainment news. The crew’s signature blend of quick-witted joking, biting satire, and unfiltered banter is on full display.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Experiences & Sponsor Chatter

• The episode opens with post-ad banter about John’s eye surgery and a quick pitch for the show sponsor, setting a casual, conversational tone.
• John raves about Schwartz Laser Eye Center:

  “It’s amazing how bad your vision can get before you actually do something because you can kind of skate through. And then when they fixed it, I’m like, this is how you're supposed to see.” (01:56, John)

2. Debating the S*Bag of the Year – Local Villains

• Animal Abuser vs. Corpse Offender
  • John fields emails challenging his decision on who is truly the year’s “S*Bag”—the animal abuser (April McLaughlin/Sidney Taylor McKinney) or a man who disgraced a corpse.
  • The crew muses on the evil of torturing animals versus the heinousness of violating a corpse:

    “You think a guy going full Little Piece of Heaven on a lifeless corpse is worse than some evil bitch torturing countless dogs and cats of all ages?... It’s a tough one for me.” (02:26, John)

  • Brady emphasizes McKinney’s criminal fakeness:

    “That lady knew what she was doing. That’s why she changed her name to Sydney Taylor McKinley and 17 other aliases to run fake charities to get the dogs.” (02:48, John, relaying Brady’s line)

  • They confirm that despite technicalities, the woman’s actions were calculated and exploitative, and John notes his wife was among those exposing her.
  • The group riffs on the macabre nature of the “corpse crime,” using dark humor and shame bells.

3. Irreverent Humor on Sensitive News

• Corpse Offender Story & Black Comedy
  • Skits involve gross-out wordplay (“creamed your grandma”), running shame gags, and fake calls to the crematory.

    “We tried to. She was too wet to burn.” (04:43, John)

  • There’s no sensitivity filter—brutal honesty and punchlines are the rule.
  • The crew lampoons the bleak “state of the city,” saying:

    “Shame if we don’t laugh. Shame die. And nobody wants to die in this city right now. You get raped. Shame.” (05:31, John)

  • Witty asides reference local self-defense classes (“corpse training” at React Defense).

4. Celebrity Death Announcements as Skits

• Brittany, in-character, pops in to “break the news” of Sandra Day O’Connor’s passing in a Tonight Show parody:

  “Here ye, here ye…Sandra Day O’Connor’s gone, (06:32, Brittany)”

  • Joke continues about high schools having to rename.
  • There is absurd banter about famous guests dropping off the Tonight Show lineup due to death.

5. Celebrity Age & Pop-Culture Musings

• Cher’s aging is discussed, with Brady quipping,

  “Cher would give anything to be 70 again.” (08:08, Brady)

  • They mock “Believe” turning 25 and tease Cher for wishing to be just 70.
  • John recalls her infamous “If I Could Turn Back Time” performance and younger boyfriends.
• The crew riffs in celebrity voices (Miss Piggy, Kermit, Cher) and mock song lyrics.

6. Hollywood Gossip & “Golden Bachelor” Exposé

• Brady brings up a Hollywood Reporter exposé on Gerry Turner (“Golden Bachelor”) allegedly falsifying his image and mistreating a girlfriend.

  “The truth is, the last time he owned a restaurant was in 1985. He’s had several jobs since then, and many came after his supposed retirement.” (11:33, Brady)

  • Hilarious mockery follows: John calls him a “janitor.” The group mocks his breakup with a woman over weight gain, tossing in “Miss Piggy” impressions and slapstick about her “falling down the stairs.”
  • John deadpans:

    “He didn’t want to take a fatty to his high school reunion.” (12:38, John)

  • The group’s wild, over-the-top jokes highlight their irreverence when tackling news.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Eye Surgery:

  “It’s amazing how bad your vision can get before you actually do something because you can skate through. And then when they fixed it, I’m like, this is how you’re supposed to see.” (01:56, John)

• On Local Villains:

  “You can make an argument for each one. That just means we've got two massive S*bags of the year.” (02:48, John)

• On Corpse Offender:

  “We tried to (cremate). She was too wet to burn.” (04:43, John)

• On Sandra Day O’Connor’s Passing:

  “Sandra Day O’Connor’s gone. Now all those high schools that are named after her…have to change their names.” (06:32, Brittany)

• On Cher’s Age:

  “Cher would give anything to be 70 again.” (08:08, Brady)

• On Golden Bachelor Scandal:

  “The Golden Bachelor was none too pleased… Piggy, roll it out of here.” (13:10, John and banter crew)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:12–02:46: Entertainment Drill intro, Eye Surgery Discussion
• 02:46–05:40: S*Bag of the Year Debate (Animal abuser vs. corpse offender, moral lines)
• 05:40–07:54: Corpse-offender story, shame bells, and Tonight Show dead guest skit
• 08:08–09:59: Cher at 70, “Believe” at 25, celebrity aging riffs
• 10:07–10:51: Eddie Murphy vs. Richard Pryor bet (“Party all the Time” trivia)
• 11:27–14:18: Golden Bachelor exposé, janitor revelations, slapstick “Piggy” breakup story

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Tone & Style

True to form, the show is raw, unsparing, and darkly comic. The crew’s interplay is fast, irreverent, and loaded with off-the-cuff impressions and taboo-pushing satire. Sensitive topics are met with gallows humor and relentless ribbing, characteristic of Arizona’s most rebellious morning show.

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If you missed the episode:
Expect a no-holds-barred mix of local outrage, celebrity snark, and relentlessly creative banter, all delivered with wicked wit and wild abandon.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head to the Desert Ridge Improv on the north end of town to catch the comedy of Ron Funches and Joe Mackey. East Siders at the Tempe Improv, you've got David Nyhill and Andy Huggins from agt. And downtown at Stand Up Live, it's the incomparable JB Smooth for the complete lineups. And for t, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's the best of Homburg's Morning Sickness.

[John]

I'm 98 KUPD. It's time for the entertainment drill, and it's brought to you by our friends, the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Schwarz Laser Eye. It's where you go to get your eyes fixed. I did mine. My right eye was a disaster. And now it's down to 2020 once again. And thanks to Dr. Jay Schwartz and the team out there for finding the glorious problem that was a cataract in my eye. Could be trauma based. It could have been the sun. It could have been.

[Brady]

Do you think something was going on in the cataract? Like, was things in the cataract? Was it blurry? Was it.

[John]

Oh, how do you know it was, like, without? Well, because I couldn't see basic stuff like screens or. The big test I always do is check.

[Brady]

You thought it was your vision?

[John]

Yeah. So my vision wasn't right, but it was going fast.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Look at the license plate in the car in front of you. If you can't read it, you Need a doctor. You go, Dr. Schwartz, that's my. That's my test. And it's amazing how bad your vision can get before you actually do something because you can kind of skate through. And then when they fixed it, I'm like, this is how you're supposed to see. So I had the lens replaced and it was unreal. So check it all out. They have their complimentary consultation to get on out there. They take a look at you and they're like, hey, let's get you in a plan. If you're tired of glasses, whatever. They've got the Lasik, they've got the lens replacements, they've got all sorts of stuff. Let them look at your eyes so you can use them properly. The Schwartz Laser Eye center, the Diamondbacks Suns, they're all there. You should be too. I got a lot of emails from people going, the S bag of the year, John. Really? You're shutting it down? You think a guy going full little piece of heaven on a lifeless corpse is worse than some evil bitch torturing countless dogs and cats of all ages? And they're just looking for a moment of relief. It's a tough one for me.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's a toss up.

[John]

I agree. This lady, it's like a photo finish. It is tight. Yeah. You can make an argument for each one. That just means we've got two massive vest bags of the year. And he said, and Brady, this one's for you. Brady said, that lady knew what she was doing. That's why she changed her name to Sydney Taylor McKinley and 17 other aliases to run fake charities to get the dogs. I know quite about a bit about this. My wife was one of the people staking out her house and taking pictures. Yeah, there was a lot.

[Brady]

Getting the dogs to torture them.

[John]

Torture by your definition. No, but torture by. I'm not going to do anything that again. I see what you're saying. That she had the delusion of Mother Teresa, I'm gonna put him in this house of dying and not care for them.

[Brady]

But she.

[John]

She wasn't doing anything. Yeah. And she was getting paid and she was running around and saying, I'm helping these charities and these charities need the space and stuff like that because they.

[Brett Vesely]

Charge a rehoming fee.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brittany]

And all that.

[John]

She was a disaster. April. April McLaughlin, Sidney Taylor McKinney's up there. Knew what she was doing, knew it was wrong, knew if she'd ever was investigated and also knew the law hadn't been changed in Chandler yet, so she was allowed to do the stuff she was doing. To a certain degree. She's also.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

Randall.

[Brady]

Randall.

[Brittany]

I mean, Shame.

[John]

He rained down voluminous amounts of. On someone's dead grandma.

[Brittany]

Shame then.

[John]

Then claimed it was an episode. I had a medical episode. But you know. You know the ones where you get dizzy and then on an old lady's oops.

[Brittany]

That's what I have.

[Brett Vesely]

Calling up your cousin.

[Brady]

Hatred, Jack. Seizures.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brittany]

Got these big Bellagio seizures.

[John]

It just.

[Brittany]

It pours down all over an old.

[John]

Woman'S corpse that I've accidentally unzipped on my way of falling through the medical thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Getting a call from your cousin.

[Brady]

Hey, did you cremate Grandma? I thought she didn't want to be.

[John]

We tried to. She was too wet to burn.

[Randall]

I'm the worst person in Phoenix.

[John]

Shame. They keep dragging her out of the crematorium. She's still okay. Shame.

[Brittany]

She's got some sort of a shellac.

[John]

I think we could shoot her through the actor.

[Brady]

We wanted it. Oh, Brady. Solid. That's. That's.

[John]

They spelled crematorium wrong is what Brady said. Oh, you meant crematorium. I misunderstood.

[Brady]

I'm sorry.

[John]

I creamed him. I creamed your grandma like you asked. What?

[Byron]

We said.

[John]

Cremated. Oh, give me that bag back. I'm gonna throw up. Yeah, I am sure.

[Brittany]

It's just a world we live in.

[John]

Shame if we don't laugh. Shame die. And nobody wants to die in this city right now. You get raped. Shame.

[Brady]

Nobody's safe.

[Brittany]

Nobody's safe.

[John]

You can't even. Can't even drop dead and not get attacked. Well, they don't have any corpse training at tactical [e-mail]. but maybe we should start thinking about it. Give grandma one big corpse move.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[John]

It's horrible. Horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

What the hell is he doing there?

[John]

Hold on a second. Give me fallance here.

[Brady]

We lost a big one. Maybe he's drunk.

[Brittany]

Oh, my God. Brittany, how are you doing?

[Brady]

Very nice.

[Brittany]

Tonight. Tonight Show.

[John]

How are you?

[Brittany]

So good to be here. Look at this, Brett.

[Randall]

Oh, my God. You got good news. Chewing.

[Brittany]

There's a little dog. Or the golden child. I don't know what that is. Oh, my God. Unbelievable to be here. So good to see you, Brady. Good to see you. Hear ye. Hear ye what? Hear ye.

[Brady]

Hear.

[Brittany]

Yeah.

[John]

What's he doing? Are you in a new movie?

[Brittany]

No, I'm just. The judges. There go the judge.

[Brett Vesely]

Judge Judy.

[John]

Oh, my God.

[Randall]

Here comes the judge.

[Brittany]

Sandra Day o' Connor's gone.

[John]

No.

[Brittany]

There goes the judge. She's dead. She's Gone. Sandra Day o' Connor's gone. The justice center, all those high schools that are named after, they have to.

[John]

Change their names now.

[Brittany]

She's not live anymore. I think that's how it works. I don't know.

[John]

I'm drunk.

[Brittany]

Anyway, thought I'd pop by and let you know that Justice Sandra Day o' Connor is gone.

[Brady]

That's horrible.

[Randall]

Yes, I know.

[Brittany]

That's why I'm here. Okay, I have to break this news to you soon. It seems so good.

[Brady]

Horribly funny.

[Brittany]

So let me tell you this. On Wednesday now, we have an opening for a guest for the Tonight show, because she was supposed to be there.

[John]

I just.

[Brittany]

Who knew we had Rosalynn Carter and San Diego Counter scheduled for Wednesday and.

[John]

Now all shows in turmoil.

[Brittany]

Well, then who's Henry Kissinger? As far as I know, is the only one left that's gonna still show up. But I haven't heard anything about him either. Oh, my God. People are dying to be on the show. That's what I'm saying. It's a Pat Fallon joke. Anyway, I just thought I'd pop by and say, hey, how are you, Brady?

[Brett Vesely]

Good, Brett.

[Brittany]

Let's grab a drink. Let's do it.

[Brett Vesely]

Salute.

[Brittany]

Like, right now?

[John]

Yes.

[Brittany]

I love drinking.

[John]

There's some down the hallway.

[Brittany]

I know. I already had it, Brady.

[Randall]

That's why I'm here.

[Brett Vesely]

Some bourbon down the hallway.

[Randall]

I had that, too.

[Brittany]

There's a whole wall of it.

[John]

It's amazing.

[Brady]

I've got more.

[Brittany]

Okay, let's go get. Let's get on this. Anyway, tonight, Blake Shelton and his wife and then Nicole Eggert's gonna be on tonight for no reason at all from Charles. And Charles is one of my favorite shows. They have Hairline. I'm gonna do that. And we're gonna all mourn the loss of San Diego county, who's no longer with us, dead at the age of 93. And we will talk about that tonight on the Tonight Show. There go the judge. She kids. It's a joke. Okay, I'm out of here.

[John]

See your dick in the box.

[Brittany]

All right.

[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

See?

[John]

Okay. Sandra Day o' Connor's gone, man. She's local. They named schools after around here. Thanks to Jimmy for breaking the news to us and keeping it festive.

[Brady]

Cher would give anything to be 70 again.

[John]

How long ago was that?

[Brady]

Seven years ago.

[Randall]

I would love to be so I could kidnap my children faster.

[Brady]

And what makes her more bent out of shape is that believe is now turning 25. Yeah, she says that pisses the F out of me.

[Randall]

You believe in Life after love. But what makes me happy, Brady, is my new van. Volbeat's doing great. Listen to my hit song, Lolo Montez.

[John]

I can't. I love Volbeat, but I hear Cher the whole time.

[Randall]

Counting on the asshole in Aruma.

[John]

How old is she? 80?

[Brady]

77.

[John]

Oh, that's it. Someone's seven years younger. No difference.

[Brady]

She was together with that one dude. She was a lot younger than her.

[John]

She always did that well.

[Brady]

But I think they broke up.

[John]

Oh, just recently.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

Construction worker that was following around on that Navy warship when she was in her 50s. And that guy was like 20 something. People like shares. Gross. She had that thong on and riding.

[Brett Vesely]

That tattoos on her cheeks.

[John]

What was that song called?

[Brett Vesely]

If I Could Turn Back Time.

[Randall]

If I could turn back time. Red has to pray if I found a wee.

[John]

And then she kidnapped her kid a couple months ago. And then Volbeat stopped touring, so she's just got time on her hands. Looking in the mirror.

[Randall]

I Wish I was 70.

[John]

Okay, on who says that? I just wish I was seven. If you're gonna wish for a younger age, don't go 70.

[Randall]

70 was a bass. I looked amazing.

[John]

Yeah. Lola Montez is getting her spin when I get back in the car, though, and I'm gonna sing it a share. Try to. Everyone should do that at home as well.

[Brady]

Back in the 80s, Richard Pryor bet Eddie Murphy a hundred thousand dollars he would never release an album of just music with no comedy.

[John]

That's what Eddie's telling people.

[Brady]

Eddie did just that in 1985.

[John]

Party all the Time came off.

[Brady]

Said Richard never paid him.

[John]

Well, it was tough to ask Richard for money right around that time, too. Richard wasn't in great shape by the time Eddie's album came out. I mean, he was fine, but we were getting close.

[Brittany]

See, I don't remember telling you that.

[John]

And poor little guy.

[Randall]

Something on the toilet trying to wipe your butt, Eddie, and then fall in.

[John]

No, this is.

[Brittany]

It's the disease.

[John]

He started talking about that stuff at the end and just like, let Richard go. He's talking about his illness too much. Yeah. And besides that, I think Eddie's just saying that now as an excuse to why he put that album out. He had a huge hit off of it, though. Party all the Time was a monster.

[Brady]

I wonder if he told that story before.

[John]

Right. That's when it would make sense. Because now it's like, why did you do.

[Brady]

I know he's there to promote his holiday movie.

[John]

It seems a lot cooler to say, oh, the only reason I did the music album with Rick James was for. Because Richard Pryor bet me I wouldn't. He did.

[Brady]

Well, the Hollywood Reporter has done a little expose on Jerry Turner, the Golden Bachelor.

[John]

Oh, no. What'd he do?

[Brady]

First of all, he's described on the show as a retired restaurateur who hung up his career in 2006, just like the age of 55. The truth is, the last time he owned a restaurant was in 1985. He's had several jobs since then, and many came after his supposed retirement.

[John]

He's sort of a loser.

[Brady]

His gig as a maintenance man at a mental health center.

[John]

He's a janitor. The Golden Bachelor's a janitor.

[Brady]

He said that he hadn't dated in 45 years. During his maintenance gig, he met a woman who he dated for almost three years.

[John]

Oh, boy.

[Brady]

And they started that relationship a month after his wife died.

[John]

Well, he's allowed to get back. Yeah, he hates John. I don't know.

[Brady]

But they broke up in 2019 because he told her she was too fat. Didn't want to take her to.

[John]

He didn't want to take a fatty to his high school reunion.

[Brady]

Yeah, she said she had gained 10 pounds.

[John]

I'll tell you this.

[Brady]

There we go.

[John]

No, no, here's the thing. He used that as an excuse, and it's a little crass, but essentially what he wanted to do was get some of that dead wife poon back. You know, you go back in there with my wife was, she's gone. And he's a good looking guy, so he played that like a fiddle.

[Brady]

They were living together at the time. He told her to get out while she was packing. She fell down some stairs and ended up needing a foot surgery.

[John]

Think of the stairs. This pig falling down your staircase. Probably need a new drywall, too.

[Brady]

Even then, he wouldn't let her stay any longer. He got her a hotel.

[John]

One of her cloven hooves busted through the drywall. The Golden Bachelor was none too pleased. All right, pig.

[Brittany]

Kermie, roll it out of here.

[Randall]

Oh, Kermie. Golden Bachelor. I've fallen down the stairs. All right, that's enough.

[Brady]

Piggy out charged him.

[Randall]

You can't do this to me. Golden Badgeoner. My hoops.

[John]

My drywall.

[Brady]

The royals who were concerned.

[John]

I just pictured the Golden Bachelor at the top of his staircase going, my walls. And a literal Miss Piggy tumbling down the stairs with a suitcase case because he's kicking her out. And she didn't make it out of the house without falling down the stairs.

[Brady]

Get out. Still with Your broken hoof here's a hotel room. It's pretty nice. They put her up in a hotel.

[John]

I have to tell you, I have to break up with you.

[Randall]

Why?

[John]

Well, recently I've become Jewish and I don't eat pork. And you've gotten kind of big. Larry does though. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

You know, when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got stand up live and east side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.