Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 01-22-26 – FULL SHOW – THURSDAY (98KUPD)

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness brings the full crew—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—together for another signature mix of wild ideas, irreverent humor, and unfiltered conversation. From outrageous trailer park proposals to debates about airline seating etiquette, and a hard-hitting (and frequently gross) “Brady Report,” this edition never stays on-topic for long. Listeners are treated to rants about flying with kids, riffing on the realities of fat-shaming and airline policies, more “Would You Rather”-style disease debates, and plenty of audience participation games. The show’s signature blend of edgy, sometimes edgy-to-the-point-of-worrying, jokes and slice-of-life opinions is dialed up throughout.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Lottery Trailer Park Ideas (01:04–07:40)

• Main Bit: John brainstorms a “Bullseye Trailer Park” where renters would have a shot at a million-dollar prize if their trailer gets wrecked by an act of God (e.g., storms, floods).
  • “You buy a trailer park in, like, Tornado Alley… call it Bullseye Trailer Park. And the house that gets destroyed by weather—a million dollars!” (John, 01:04)
• Other concepts emerge: “Flooded Acres” (for flood-prone locations), “Little Italy” (a play on domestic disputes and police calls), and comical riffing on why trailer parks need “hope.”
  • “It gives hope to people who live in trailer parks, which, if you live in a trailer park, that’s the thing that’s missing—hope.” (John, 04:11)
• The group jokes about which disasters qualify and how to insure the scheme.

2. STD Roulette & Disease Economics (08:12–14:00)

• Hooker Roulette: A twisted, comic “game” is imagined in which bachelor party hookers play “hooker roulette.” One has an STD, and if you “win” (i.e., get the STD), you receive $10,000.
  • “Hooker roulette: If you get the STD, it’s bad news for you, but we’ll give you $10,000 from the hooker fund.” (John, 08:25)
• In-depth discussion of how much money it would take to voluntarily contract various STDs, with the group jokingly haggling over prices and consequences. Extra cash for how long you wait before getting treated.
  • “Would you take drippy crank for $10,000?… It’s not so bad.” (John, 09:07)
• (Predictably) devolves into a riff about which STDs are “worth it,” “syphilis vs. crabs,” and associated shots/treatments.

3. Airline Etiquette & Parental Entitlement Rants (17:22–27:00)

• John reads an email from a listener proud he refused to switch airplane seats for a demanding mom who hadn’t booked seating with her child.
  • “Parents are running scams. Never give up your seat on an airplane for a kid.” (John, 18:56)
• Strong opinions fly about who’s responsible for child seating (answer: the parent), why you should never feel guilted into the middle seat, and hilarious anecdotes of attempts to repel unwanted seatmates (watching porn, faking illness).
• Both John and Bret emphasize financial fairness: “If you come up to me as a parent, go, hey, I’ll give you a hundred bucks right now, maybe I’ll start going, oh, you’re ready to cough it up.”

4. Airline Fat-Shaming, Weigh-Ins & Seating Rants (29:37–42:10)

• Discussion of a New Zealand airline weighing passengers for flight/logistics data, sparking a long and funny debate on fat-shaming, airplane seat design, and personal responsibility.
  • “If you’re upset about being weighed before you get on a plane, it’s just an insecurity you have… Only people who are worried are people who are huge—yeah, just the pigs.” (John, 32:37)
• Many anecdotes and riffs: double seatbelt “shame,” meal trays that can’t come down, how bigger average passenger weight could benefit everyone with larger seats, and playful airline “pay by the pound” models.
• “You are pointing it out with every step you take in public… You’re a walking globe.” (John, 34:00)

5. Airplane & Restaurant Hygiene Nightmares (43:33–54:16)

• Diaper Changes in the Sky: John reacts with disgust to a viral story about parents changing a diarrhea baby on an airplane tray table, ranting about the lack of hygiene and selfish parenting.
  • “If you change your baby’s diaper… then don’t. It doesn’t mean I have to see its butthole.” (John, 46:55)
• Similar horror stories: a woman eating trail mix directly from a tray table, people using bleach wipes, a restaurant scene where a mom changes her kid’s diaper in the middle of Outback Steakhouse.
  • “Two buttholes in one restaurant is my limit.” (John, 51:52)
• Message: basic public standards are vanishing, and “bleach wipes are the key to flying.”

6. Parenting & Flying – Who Needs to Travel? (54:16–56:48)

• Riff on why babies and young kids don’t need air travel; families “not that interested” in seeing your kid, Zoom is plenty, and “just because you made that error in life doesn’t mean we have to suffer for your struggles.”
  • “There’s no reason to put a baby anywhere.” (John, 55:55)

7. The Brady Report (84:13–117:55)

A. Weird News & Global Oddities

• Dreidel World Record: Coverage of universities competing to spin the most dreidels, Hanukkah facts, and lighthearted Jewish jokes (84:25–87:42).
• Obesity on Cruise Ships and Airlines: Reports of broken chairs and the ever-growing size of American travelers (87:39–90:03).
• Global Crime & Oddities: Includes a teacher accused of a lesbian witchcraft marriage (90:45–91:57), an Italian “cat-man” stuck in a tree (92:16–93:00), a man with a three-inch nail in his skull (93:38–94:50), and creative protests (e.g., eating foxes to protest fox hunting).
• Morbid & Grotesque: Stories about a Singaporean “death casino,” China’s shocking suicide rate, and a Russian couple hiding a child in a suitcase.

B. Women’s Fashion & Swimwear Rants (103:13–105:49)

• The crew debates the female obsession with “cleavage enhancement” attire, and why men’s “opinions” on swimwear rarely align with actual trends.
  • “Mega cleavage enhancement… that's what we're looking for. If you're doing it for us: naked bathing suit.” (Brady)

C. Disease of the Day: Gout (109:03–110:15)

• Fun breakdown of what gout is (“party disease of the old,” now increasing due to Atkins diets).

D. Odd & Gross Sex News (106:14–108:54)

• New York’s “Support Group for Small-Wienered Gay Men,” Japanese used-panty vending bans, and bizarre blind man bar fights.

E. Local & U.S. Oddities

• Super-rich New Yorkers’ apartment fees, prison loophole escapes, and more.

8. Win Mike Tyson’s Money (Live Skit/Game Segment) (119:14–135:19)

• Impression Game: One of the crew (impersonating Mike Tyson) runs a highly off-color trivia game, mixing word puzzles, music trivia and “pyramid” style questions—with the threat of “having your ass pulled out” if you lose.
• The segment is loaded with intentionally absurd, controversial humor and over-the-top Tyson impressions, all in the show’s shock-jock tradition.
• “You promised me…Do you have any kids?... I will eat them first.” (Fake Mike Tyson, 121:13)

9. News Game: Horrible News Over Happy Music (136:36–149:06)

• Signature call-in contest: callers guess which five absurd news stories are true or false, with “Brady’s musical tribute” in-between.
• Stories range from gunmen foiled by hammers, a grandma wedged behind a toilet, a rare robin eaten by a hawk, a woman starving her quadriplegic brother for inheritance, and a man caught having sex with a corpse at a funeral.
• “He’s not gonna rob anybody again. It's JR Croy, Super Sledgehammer.” (Brady, 139:35)
• No one wins; the stories prove too wild for callers to correctly guess.

10. Entertainment Drill (150:16–162:39)

• Pop Culture Quick Hits: Cataract surgery, celebrity news (Cher’s age, Eddie Murphy’s “Party All the Time” bet with Richard Pryor), Jerry the Golden Bachelor exposed (not actually a successful restaurateur, dumped a girlfriend for being overweight, etc.).
  • “The Golden Bachelor: He’s a janitor.” (Bret, 161:08)
• Further rants about women’s fashion, vacation sex, and “memorial day topless pool parties.”

Notable Quotes & Moments (by Timestamp)

• Bullseye Trailer Park:
  • “If you get targeted by God at the trailer park, as they all do, there’s a million dollars.” (John, 02:31)
• Airline Etiquette:
  • “Never give up your seat on an airplane for a kid. …If you have a kid, and you have to sit separate, that’s on you.” (John, 18:56)
• Fat-Shaming & Airline Weigh-Ins:
  • “Only people who are worried [about being weighed] are people who are huge—yeah, just the pigs.” (John, 32:56)
• Diaper-Changing on the Plane:
  • “It got all the way to the pilot…Please, I’ll put this bitch right in the ground…” (John, 57:25)
• Hooker Roulette:
  • “Drippy Crank is a great band… but if you had drippy crank and it came with $10,000, pardon the pun…” (John, 08:25–09:06)
• Win Mike Tyson’s Money (parody):
  • “Are you writing a book about me?” (Fake Tyson, 121:09)

Episode Structure & Flow

1. Opening Banter/Ad Reads: Sponsors & exaggerated host bits.
2. Comedy Ideation: Trailer park/lottery & STD segments.
3. Audience Emails & Airline Rants: Listeners’ stories fuel etiquette and travel debates.
4. Brady Report/Weird News: Classic odd news, world events, and disease talk.
5. Games & Callers: Off-color trivia and live call-in games (“Win Mike Tyson’s Money”, “Horrible News Over Happy Music”).
6. Pop Culture/Entertainment: Updates on celebrities/reality TV revelations, and non-stop riffing.
7. Recurring gags & call-backs: Many jokes set up early are paid off in later banter, featuring plenty of off-mic banter and inside jokes.

Tone & Language

• Irreverent, Unfiltered, Edgy: Language and topics are NSFW; jokes are regularly provocative and dark, including intentional offensiveness.
• Relentlessly Fast-Paced: The crew interrupts, riffs, and pivots rapidly, prioritizing bits and punchlines over orderly discussion.
• Camaraderie & Competition: Self-deprecation, mock-arguments, and friendly roast humor pervade the group dynamic.

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness showcases why the show is a staple of Arizona morning radio: a no-holds-barred blend of wild comic brainstorms, honest opinions, world news oddities, and devil-may-care games. Whether mocking airline policies, inventing new ways to “give hope” to trailer park residents, dissecting outrageous news stories, or running live segments that walk the line (and sometimes cross it), HMS delivers a three-hour barrage of chaotic, uncensored comedy.

For listeners new and old, this episode is a primer on the show’s unique style: you’ll laugh, cringe, and maybe question humanity—all before breakfast.