Episode Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness | Jan 22, 2026

“Pelvic Floor Emailer – Eagle Has Landed Period Trips – May 2023-BO”

Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness dives into listener emails and personal anecdotes about awkward, hilarious, and sometimes gross topics involving bodily functions, relationships, and couples’ vacation woes. With John Holmberg at the helm—and frequent banter from Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—the crew keeps the energy high, the humor irreverent, and the commentary honest. The major themes today: women’s health and insecurities, especially around menstrual cycles, pelvic floor therapy, and the infamous phenomenon of vacations being sabotaged by a partner's period.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Women’s Competition & Insecurities ("New Cans at the Pool")

• The show opens with an emailer’s story about getting breast implants and the ensuing female rivalry she experienced at the pool.
• Key insight: Female dynamics can be fiercely competitive and revolve around body image, with the hosts riffing on the pettiness and ego involved.
  • "Chicks were mean to each other. She saw a lesser than in the chess department. She put in the upgrades and she started flaunting." (Holmberg, 04:15)
• The conversation swings into uncomfortable office talk—specifically, taboo discussions about feminine hygiene at work.

2. Pelvic Floor Therapy & Dry Needling

Timestamps: 06:20–13:00

• A listener email sparks a detailed and comedic dive into pelvic floor therapy and the growing trend of “pelvic floor dry needling.”
  • “She reaches her hands in there and teaches them how to strengthen their vaginal muscles. She makes a lot of money doing this.” (Emailer, 08:10)
  • The class requires therapists to practice on each other: “She’s got to spend three days in a room full of therapists across the country throwing needles in each other's V’s.” (Emailer, 08:40)
• Holmberg and company react with a mix of horror and fascination, often mixing jokes with genuine curiosity.
• The show draws a comparison to the Larry Nassar scandal, underscoring how medical techniques can walk a fine line based on intent and expertise.
  • “Isn’t that what that dude who went to jail for like a billion years was doing to the American gym team?” (Holmberg, 09:05)
  • They clarify the difference between real therapy and criminal misconduct, but the humor is relentless.
• No one on the crew is open to dry needling in their own nether regions. Graphic jokes abound.
  • “I don’t care what my illness is. Needles inside me? If I’m still awake for that, that’s not happening.” (Holmberg, 10:16)
  • “Ladies, if that’s going on, you’re all done. Sex hurts and I can’t hold in my pee? Get in the box. You’re done.” (Holmberg, 11:20)

3. Menstrual Mishaps & the 'Eagle Has Landed' Code

Timestamps: 13:10–26:45

• The conversation pivots as an emailer/joke brings up the havoc periods wreak on vacations, introducing the “Eagle Has Landed” as a couple’s code phrase for an “unexpected” period arrival.
  • “Code for the memorial vacation: The eagle has landed. I gotta tell you, I know we’re going on vacation, but the eagle has landed.” (Holmberg, 16:00)
• Holmberg and the crew rant about how women’s cycles seem to mysteriously align with planned getaways, often dampening vacation fun—especially in terms of intimacy.
  • “As soon as you hear, ‘book it,’ now it’s done. Once she hears the click, click, then it’s just like, all right, open floodgate five.” (Holmberg, 19:20)
  • "Every vacation, I just... It doesn't happen. The worst ones are like, you got a big trip planned. Everything’s going to be— I started early." (Holmberg riff, 20:55)
• They muse about refund policies and propose jokes about “menstrual insurance” or “bloody discounts” from airlines.
  • "All we need is a full diva cup at the check-in." (Holmberg, 22:43)
• Holmberg shares a personal story about a long-haul trip ruined by his partner’s cramps and jokes about women’s supernatural timing regarding their periods and vacations.
  • “Six and a half of the 14 days were cramps, then light spotting, nothing was comfortable. How bad is physical activity with me?” (Holmberg, 25:05)

4. Men’s Perspective on Vacation Sex

• The hosts discuss how men feel short-changed when partners only become sexually interested on vacation or after large expenses.
  • “You have to pay an exorbitant amount of money to get her interested in you. Don’t do it. You’re making her a prostitute.” (Holmberg, 18:02)
• The crew debates the odds of these “period ambushes” being planned or just unlucky, making tongue-in-cheek gambling analogies (“fanduel the next vacation”).

5. Deadpan Exaggeration & Running Gags

• There’s a persistent joking undercurrent about “the blood drawer,” “field-dressing” undateable partners, and exaggerated metaphors:
  • “You know, my underwear sometimes looks like someone with COVID sneezed in it. Wanna go to dinner with me?” (Holmberg, 13:32)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On clinical procedures:
  “She’s not looking forward to having her downstairs repeatedly poked by 3 inch sharp needles for three days in training.” (Emailer, 08:55)
• On vacation timing:
  “I think mentally you guys hate everything about going on vacation with us...you know we’re whipping it out.” (Holmberg, 17:15)
• On period sabotage:
  “Pilot to Megan, what date is the first of the vacation? All right, we’ll get the blood flowing that day.” (Holmberg, 20:10)
• On airline refund policies:
  “Priceline. Get your money back for a bloody... Protect your vacation. Get some bloody insurance with your next ticket.” (Holmberg, 22:05)
• On undateable qualities:
  “You didn’t mention that on Bumble. That should be a requirement: Do you piss yourself when you giggle sometimes?” (Holmberg, 12:50)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• New Boobs, Pool Rivalry & Office Diva Cup Talk: 00:45–05:30
• Pelvic Floor Therapy & Dry Needling: 06:20–13:00
• “Eagle Has Landed” and Vacation Period Nightmares: 13:10–26:45
• Jokes About Menstrual Travel Insurance: 21:30–24:30
• Riffing on Marriage, Excuses & Intimacy: 24:45–27:50

Tone & Overall Style

• Language: Unfiltered, graphic, and irreverently honest—a classic trademark of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness.”
• Atmosphere: Playful, teasing, often self-deprecating, with the hosts bouncing crude and observant humor off each other and listener emails.
• Boundary-Pushing: No bodily function is off limits; social taboos are gleefully skewered.

In short:
The episode is a whirlwind of unfiltered laughs, cringe-inducing medical tidbits, and sharply comic observations about the clash between romance, travel, and the unwavering reality of human biology. Fans of raw, blue-collar guy talk will especially love this ride.