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A
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
B
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
A
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
B
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple?
A
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean, really? Maybe in 2026, you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten. I know. That was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly. Visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team at the Schwartz laser eye center. 48 Schwartz laser eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons.
C
It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD. The morning sickness. And he's got his own theme music. He just handed me a cd. He's got this theme music, and he's got an intro all written up. I'm not sure what the heck's going on here, Brady, but he's got his own song. His entry. He's out in his towel wrapped around his neck, dancing around the thing. He hands me the. Should I do the intro?
B
Yeah.
C
All right. Okay. I guess so. Here we go. And now, standing 5ft 9 inches tall. What is it, Mike? Do it with feeling.
B
He wants a little more feeling to it.
C
And now. Yeah. Standing 5ft 9 inches tall and weighing 224 pounds, with a record of 44 and 4, including 34 knockouts and one rape. With black trunks and a total financial value of $5.68. Welcome the host of WIN, Mike Tyson's Money, Ladies and gentlemen, Iron Mike Tyson. Get out the way.
A
Yeah.
C
Move. Asalam Alikum Brady. It's good to be here. Welcome to my goddamn show. Prick ass. Whitey.
B
Mike. Mike.
C
Sorry. Sorry. I apologize. God bless.
B
I will cut that mic.
C
God bless. I'm sorry.
B
You promised me.
C
I swear I won't say anything else like that. I swear to God. I promise. I. Sorry. Assalamu alaikum, Brady. You know I'm a religious man. You fat son of a bitch.
B
Sorry.
C
Sorry. My first time hosting, I'm a little nervous. Are you ready?
B
Today's show's brought to you by Paxil.
C
Oh, that's good stuff. I. I'm supposed to be on that. It would work out nice. You taking it well. Will you ask any more questions? Are you writing a book about me or something?
B
I might.
C
Well, if you do, you know what will happen? What happened? Do you have any kids?
B
No.
C
Pets?
D
Yes.
C
I will eat them first. And then I will reach up either your mother or father. Pull their asses out. Make you watch. Yes. And then I will pull up your ass as well. You know that. That's my mo.
D
Why?
B
I know. Why can't you just beat people up?
C
Why do you have to do that? Because it's not as I beat everybody up. It's not as impressive unless I can reach into your ass, find something that I can grab onto and pull out your entire ass cavity.
B
That's sick.
C
All right, white devil, are you ready?
B
Ready.
C
All right, here we go. It's time to play wind on Mike Tyson's money. I will give you clues and you will. You will try to climb the pyramid to $5.68. Each square is worth a different amount of money. 50 cents. 25. 18. Not in that order. 75. $1 and $3.
B
Big money.
C
Also not in that order. I'm not good with left to right or right to left. Who is this prick ass on the phone? Are you there? That's right. Chickened out already. Who's this? Dustin. Dustin. How are you? Good. Where do you work, Dustin? I work Skytech Drilling. Are they hiring? Okay, well, fuck it. Anyway. And. And. And you go ahead and. And. And. And win or I'll pull your ass out. Are you ready? I'm ready. Are you a big fan of I am Mike Tyson? Oh, yeah. It's good. As salaam alaikum. God bless. Let's win. $5 and 68 cents. Ready? Here we go. The clues start like this. Go. Okay. Pour some sugar on me Photograph Coffee Pour some sugar on me.
A
Wow.
B
Come on.
C
Pyromania. Unbelievable. Dustin. Dustin. I'm not even gonna go on with you? Yeah. Not Even try the 18th cent question through you. He doesn't.
A
He don't understand.
B
How is it, Mike?
C
Who is this person? Who are you? Are you there? What is wrong with these people? Who is this? That's Mike. Mike. How are you? Good name. Good. I enjoy. I enjoy talking to you as salaam alaikum. Are you. Are you Muslim? Yes. Are you really? Of course. Salaam alaikum, my Muslim friend. Oh, yes. Right back at you. No, it's salakum salaam. You ass prick. Liar. That's why I said right back at you. That's right. Sorry about that. All right, are you ready? Yeah. All right, here we go again. Let's try this one more time, okay? Okay. Pour Some Sugar on Me. Very good songs by Def Levin. I'm sorry I raped you. I'm sorry. I said I would pull your ass out.
A
I'm sorry.
C
Tyson. Who's Mike Tyson? Tyson would say. That's right. Puree Blend. Rape. Puree. Whip smoothie. Things blenders do. Rape. Exactly. To watch the special features. To listen to the director's commentary. To watch me rape somebody. Dvd. That's right. Over a boxing match at a ball game. Draped over my shoulders after I raped the President. Things Mike Tyson would wear. Things athletes put on their shoulders after they're done. I would drape this over after I raped the president of the Olympics.
A
Sheep.
C
When I'm singing the national anthem at your feet. Flag. That's right. And finally, for $5.68, Mike Tyson. Stephen Hawking, the President of the United States. Things that the girl who runs away from me at the. Oh, man, they almost had that. How much did he win, Brady?
B
Well, he got a total of. Well, let's see. That's almost 68 cents.
C
No, $2.68. Congratulations. You've won $2.68 of my money. Which leaves me now with Dol.
D
Total.
B
He doesn't win any of that.
D
Mike.
B
He's got to get it all.
C
He's got to get them all. Yeah. He doesn't win the $2 and 68 cents?
A
No.
C
I'm willing to give it to him.
B
You don't have it.
C
All right. You're out. Sorry.
B
Thanks.
C
Suck it. One time. He's out, huh?
B
Yeah.
C
Nothing doing.
B
It's all or not. You know how it works.
C
So they get all of my money and I'm broke or nothing.
B
If you win 12 rounds of a 15 round fight. Yeah. Who wins that fight?
C
I don't. I. I would. I. I guess I would Not. Yeah. Why do you think, Brady, that I can't beat you in a fight? Are you challenging me?
B
No, I'm not challenging you. I'm just trying to make a pull.
C
Your ass out with a glove on. Come here for a second. No, I am going to pull out your ass right here on national television.
B
No, you're not.
C
Take that. Oh, I enjoyed that.
B
That's not funny.
C
Your ass smells like roses. I would rape you. Are you interested in going out to dinner and getting raped this evening, ma'?
B
Am? No, I'm not.
C
Don't shave your mustache. It looks like a vagina. And when you're unconscious, I'm going to stuff things inside of there. I'm going to shove meat in there. My meat.
B
You're becoming a regular stand up comedian.
C
I'm a man of God. Asalaam alaikum. Now open your mouth. Take my meat cheeks. What is wrong with you? You know, I'm gonna go back out in the hallway and prance like a tiger. Five dollars and 68 cents.
B
You know what?
D
Whoops.
C
That's my monkey. Sorry. I bought him last month. $58,000.
B
You're gonna have animal rights activists on you.
C
They said it wasn't a wise investment. But look at my monkey go. Alright, monkey, you're touching me. All right, that's it. I'm pulling the monkey's ass out. That'll show him. All right, you guys, you guys, I gotta do another round here.
B
Yeah, let's get it later.
C
Wow, he just storms out of the room. He's weird.
B
He has gone off the deep end.
C
How's your ass?
B
It's okay.
C
I just leave Homeburn's morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky.
A
They say things that are horrible.
C
Radiate update.
D
NFL championship weekend is upon us. Now I don't want to jinx my team, but the underdog app is the best way to celebrate a win. Like I did in the divisional round. It's dictator little from the morning sickness and playing on underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats. And I said it last week so I'm sticking to it. Sam Darnold, Kenneth Walker and Rashid Shahid all are going to go higher on their projections. Jump on board with me. Download the underdog app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make win money must be 18 plus. 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games. 21 plus. In Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playandgetterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call 24. 7, Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467369. NFL Championship Weekend is upon us now. I don't want to jinx my team, but the underdog app is the best way to celebrate a win like I did in the divisional round. It's dict little from the morning sickness and playing on underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats. And I said it last week so I'm sticking to it. Sam Darnold, Kenneth Walker and Rashid Shahid all are going to go higher on their projections. Jump on board with me. Download the underdog app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19+ in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playand getterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call 24. 7, Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467-369.
C
Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Boy, he is just angry and loaded and ready to go. Brady, it is kind of embarrassing. What's going on?
B
I got him some Paxil.
C
So he's got the Paxil going good.
A
Yeah.
C
Should we let him in? I'm nervous about him for some reason.
A
Let's get him. It's Mike Tyson.
C
When? Mike Tyson's money is going on right now either way. Homeburg.
B
Move it.
C
That's my microphone. Hello, Brady. I still have $5.68 and I've decided to go musical with your ass. That's great.
B
That's a great idea.
C
Maybe I should try another approach with you. How about you look very nice today.
B
That's great.
C
I think your shirt matches your eyes.
B
I don't have red eyes.
A
I'm trying.
C
Brady, I think your shirt matches your eyes very nicely.
B
Thank you.
C
Would you like to go to a movie with me later this evening? Perhaps take a wand in your ass at the end of the night in a forcible fashion, swallowing up all of my Mike Tyson man juice?
B
The movie? Yes, but no wand.
C
I'll pass. All right, well, you say that now, you don't have a choice in the matter.
B
Is that right?
C
Yes. Would you like me to squeeze you nuts like I are in a vice?
B
You know what? I'm gonna tell you this right now, but I'm pretty confident that I can pound you.
C
I will pound you later. Are you hitting on me? This is good. This is going exactly the direction I'd hope. I'm gonna sing a song. You tell me who sings it. We'll try to win my money that way. Who's this? Hello? Where do you. Where do you work? I don't. I just got fired. Me too. Doesn't it suck? Yeah. Yeah, me too. Maybe you and I could hang out later. What are you doing later this evening? I've got $5 and 68 cents says you're getting an ice cream cone and a giant unit stuffed in something you don't want it stuffed in. Interested? Yeah. That's what I thought.
B
See, Mike, you're not gonna date.
C
Wow. I'm going to rape you. See, I was told by my lawyers to tell people that up front. Then there's no surprises. Yeah, no surprises. Are you ready? Yeah. All right, now you got to guess the songs I'm singing all the way up to the top of the pyramid. You'll get my $5.68. All right, good luck. Here we go. Y' all want a single? Say suck that. Suck that. Suck that. You want a single from corn? That's right. Know me broken by my master. Teach me child of your after.
B
Ooh.
C
If master above it. I no pull your head out of your ass or I'll pull your ass out for you. If I would. Could you?
D
He's out.
C
Oh my God. The date is off. But I will still rape you if you're interested.
A
No.
C
Goodbye, unemployed jerk. Unbelievable. God. Salaam alaikum. Who's this? Mike. Mike, how are you doing?
A
All right.
C
Do you think you can get my money?
B
Hopefully.
C
Okay, let's see if you can. Or not. Are you ready? Yep. You think so, huh? Yeah. I'm not sure. Hahaha. All right, let's See, you just have to name the. Name the bands. Okay. All right. All right, here we go. All right, hold on. Let me find this thing really, really quick. Throw up your rock fist Feeling like it don't fit this cinnamon A cinnamon Shoving your ass up in my hand with my ass in your hand Throw up your rock fist Thousand foot crutch is right. Nice job. Rape me. Rape me, my friend. Interested? Rape me. Rate me again. Even I know I can control that. Goodbye, Luther. Asalaam alaikum. Alright. Hi there. Who's this? Have you ever been raped before? Never. Would you like to be? Nah, that's all right. Are you sure? Yeah. All right. You don't much have a choice. Brady. How are you doing?
B
I'm a little bent out of shape.
C
What's going on? Fantastic attitude. And if you give me any more trouble, I'm gonna reach over there, I'm gonna put your nuts in my mouth. I'm gonna bite down like a two pound. Never mind.
B
You almost made sense.
C
It didn't stop making sense. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. All right, here we go. My baby don't mess around because she loves the song Unless I know for sure hey, yeah, the outcast this outcast is correct. Know me broken by my master Teach me child love Hereafter.
B
It'S got him.
C
This is me broken by my ma, Alison Chains. Alison chains is correct. Rape me. Rate me, my friend. Rate me. Rate me again. Nirvana. Nirvana's right. So I've learned that love's my possession and I've learned love was there so I learned love needs expression so I love to rape again.
B
Oh, that's bad.
C
Oh, I've learned nothing. No, it's hard for me to understand you. Oh, what are you talking about? I speak very legibly. You're out. You don't win. $5.68. Are we making it too hard on these idiots?
B
I guess so.
C
Who's this? Hello? Hello? Hello, this is Derek. Hi, Derek. How are you? I'm hanging in there, buddy. You're not gonna do this? Sorry. Where do you work, Derek? What's that? Where do you work? I work in Lake Havasu City. Are they hiring in Lake Havasu City? Yeah. Are they really? Oh, yeah. Would you like me to come out there and rape you for a job? $5 and 68 cents an hour. All right. Are you ready? No. You're not? No, go ahead. All right, here we go. I did my time. I did my time. I did my time. I don't know the words. All that one.
B
I'm gonna have to say corn.
C
Nice job, Brady. Brady gets that one. These people don't know anything we're doing. That's all right. I'll split it with Brady. I'm hot for te. That's right. Hey, hey, hey, fellas.
A
Yeah.
C
What's cooler than being cool?
B
Ice cold.
C
What's cooler than being cool? Ice cold. God bless. How can I get it?
B
Hey, outcast.
C
Outcast is correct. You and Brady will split it because.
A
These people are morons.
C
Brady, what's going on here? I don't know. Let's go on. Exit Light. And tonight, Grain of Sand. We're off to Mike Tyson. Metallica. Metallica is correct. Throw up your rock. F. Feel like a. Just a bitch. Son of a bitch. Rake that dumb bitch. I don't know the words to that one. Anything. Keep going with that one. Throw up your rock fist. Thousand foot crutch. Throw up your rock fist Thousand foot crutch. Thousand foot crutch. That's right, Brady. All the time is up. You get a kiss before the buzzer. Congratulations. You just won $5.68. You have to split with Brady. I can't believe that. That might get me halfway back to Lake Havasu. It's a good job. Nice job. Would you like to go out to a movie this evening with me? I'll buy you some popcorn. Can my wife come? I don't know. I suppose. I've been. I think you'll like her. You think? I'll buy you. I'll buy you some popcorn. I'll buy your wife a hot dog. And I'll show my wife likes bananas. And I'll shove the hot dog and the banana in spots that you wouldn't expect.
B
You know what? You guys could talk about your date.
C
Awful. Why would we do such things? Had your wife ever had her ass pulled out. What's that? Has your wife ever had her ass pulled out? No. She doesn't like anything in her ass. I'm not saying in her ass.
B
This is a great discussion.
C
Hold on, Brady. I got a date and a winner.
B
That's great.
C
Assalamu alaikum. His haircut must frame his face. Why?
B
Get out of here.
C
Unbelievable. It's good to be here. $5.68, pyramid, west side.
B
Great show.
C
Aslam alaikum, Brady. Say it back.
B
Awesome Alaikum.
C
No. Aslam alikum, Brady. Salikum.
B
Salikum.
C
Salon. That's right.
B
Fuck it.
C
Mike Tyson.
B
That game show didn't quite.
C
No, he's not very good at Game show hosting. Who would have guessed it?
B
You're supposed to have fun at a game show.
A
Yells at everyone.
C
It's just frightening. Anyway, there you go. Mike Tyson's pyramid scares everybody. I'm sorry. None of you will really have your asses pulled out. It's 98K UPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station, K UPD.
D
The playoffs are here, and Hooters just upgraded your game plan. Our beer of the month went from 14 ounces to a massive 25 ounces starting at just $4. That's a bigger beer for every kickoff drive and touchdown. And while you're here, load up on wings, burgers and all your favorites. Come in for the playoffs. Stay for the food, the cold beer and non stop football. Plus, every Hooters is giving away an 85 inch smart TV for the big game. Must be present to win. Hooters come for the football. Stay for everything else.
A
Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else. Well, first of all, we've been in valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies, so that we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car has been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody. Com.
Episode: 01-22-26 – Win Mike Tyson’s Money – Both Rounds – Feb 2004-BO
Date: January 22, 2026
This episode features a wild, no-holds-barred edition of “Win Mike Tyson’s Money,” a parody game show segment where one of the hosts (doing a raucously over-the-top Mike Tyson impression) leads contestants and fellow hosts through irreverent trivia and musical guessing games. The crew (John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo) churn out edgy banter, mock-threats, and chaotic humor in true Morning Sickness style, pushing both content and comedic boundaries.
[01:34–08:44, 11:08–19:12]
Setup:
The episode’s core is a recurring game show bit, “Win Mike Tyson’s Money,” spoofing both Mike Tyson’s persona and TV game show formats. The show host, channeling a hyperbolic version of Mike Tyson, delivers absurd introductions, outrageous threats, and asks trivia/music questions tied to a fake pyramid of cash ($5.68 in total).
Gameplay Mechanics:
Escalating Hostility:
The Tyson impression becomes increasingly belligerent and explicit. The humor relies heavily on shock value, rapidly shifting between surreal threats, sexual innuendo, and riffing on Tyson’s real-life controversies.
[11:22, 12:11, 14:08, 15:36]
This episode exemplifies “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” at its most unfiltered: leveraging parody, performance, and boundary-pushing humor to elicit big laughs—or big groans. The Mike Tyson game show bit is intentionally chaotic, blending over-the-top threats, wild non-sequiturs, and recurring in-jokes about the hosts’ personas and area music scenes. Throughout, the crew acknowledges (and amplifies) the mayhem, ensuring the audience is always in on the joke, even as the content veers into the absurd.
Note: Portions of this episode contain explicit joking and edgy language; listener discretion is advised.