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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for.
The amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com youm thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
Brady Bogan
What the hell is wrong with you?
John Holmberg
Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday already short week. I like it. It is 5:45. This is your morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady Bogan. There's Brett Fessley. There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's get it going. Roll right along. I am already in a struggle. Yesterday I did something I haven't done forever and I'm glad I did it. I went back to a place I used to go all the time, and I haven't been forever. The attic over on 40th street in Indian school. A friend of mine is in the area and he's like, where do you want to go? You're right there. Let's go to the attic. Haven't been for a bit. They still have the home burger on the menu.
Brett Fessley
Nice.
John Holmberg
So you can still put my meat in your mouth if you're interested. And it'd been so long. Now here's the thing. I didn't go to the ad. I was. I got to be friends with a guy who was running it when it first opened. And then he got the boot or quit or something weird happened. And he said, don't go there anymore for me. I'm like, all right, I guess I like, I'll stand in solidarity. I love you, solidarity. I'd be like, you know, just. It would be a lot if you just, all right. And I go, what do I do that far? You know, I've seen him for a while, and then it all kind of went back and forth with me kind of wanting to be there and then not feeling good. Like, maybe he told the people who work there that I hated them. And then I'm worried about them honking on the burger or something weird like that, so I kind of avoided it. So I went back last night. Fine. And surprisingly, a couple of the people there like new when I walked in. And I'm like, oh, that's not good. Maybe they are going to honk on burger. They've been waiting, waiting for my. Waiting for me to show up. Couldn't have been nicer. Everything was great. And I don't think they actually honk on your burger, but they still had the home burger on there. I didn't order that. I got the other one just in case. You can't order your own meat. That's cannibalism. But I did eat a burger that has onions on it, and I don't eat a lot of onions and my whole night and morning, so I can't get rid of it. I cannot shake. I need one of you Mexican listeners that has those tricks, like the lady who told me about mustard on a burn. Like, you guys have those home remedies that no one knows. How do you get rid of this? It's in my nose. Every time I breathe in, I can taste onion. I. Not an onion.
Brett Fessley
Not an onion guy.
John Holmberg
Oh, no, not.
Big Dick Toledo
Were they grilled or raw?
John Holmberg
I think they were raw. They were on whatever's on the burger. I know they weren't, like, slimy, like.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah, the raw seems to stick long.
John Holmberg
No, it's stuck. It is awful. And, yeah, I'm not a onion. If they're there, I'll try to avoid them. But, you know, I just bit right through, and they were kind of mixed, diced into the salad part of the. The burger's huge. And I'm like, oh, no. I'm gonna smell like onions. And I can't. I can't shake it, and I'm miserable. It's just the worst. The worst taste in your. All the. All the delicious tastes of that burger. And the only thing that decides to hang around is the one part I don't want. That damn onion. So please. Mexicans. A lot of times Indians or Africans have those weird, you know, a pinch of paprika and this. I need the whatever your great great great grandmothers back in the Sudan used to do to fix this because it's the worst. The worst taste ever. I can't. I can't drink enough soda. I can't pile in. The granola isn't even drying it out. It's just getting worse.
Big Dick Toledo
I think a spoonful of cinnamon will make that.
John Holmberg
Was that right?
Big Dick Toledo
No.
John Holmberg
Okay. Spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. We know that spoonful of cinnamon might choke you to death. I'll try that. I can't take it.
Big Dick Toledo
It's that tick tock challenge. The.
John Holmberg
And I did come up with an idea though that I don't know how I haven't since I've, you know, I went to the. I used to go to the attic all the time. Attic is great if you've never been there. It's just awesome. Burgers are fantastic. They've got beer until you're blue. It's just outstanding. It's a cool spot. 40th street in Indian School, but. Or thereabouts. Like 42nd. How come. And would this just. Would this be a good idea? And every dark hearted weirdo like me would go. You'd have to tolerate some backlash. But every. Anne Frank's birthday food's free at the attic. See, you're still celebrating Anne Frank like you're giving her a lift.
Big Dick Toledo
You are.
John Holmberg
But you put that heat. What's. What?
Big Dick Toledo
You're going to catch some heat.
John Holmberg
Yeah. No, but is it. Is the heat going to outweigh the fun people? Because fun people are going to show up. You know me. I know if I talk to you guys, we're going over to the attic for Anne Frank Day. Of course. Anne Frank people do that. My people love free food. I just thought, man, there's some. That's such a great idea. And it's just stymied by people with sticks in their asses that like act like they're still friends with Anne Frank. You're not making fun of the Holocaust. Yeah, Anne Frank's story is terrible. But addicts are synonymous with what? Moths? And Anne Frank. Occasionally raccoons. I mean, Brady had one up there one time. He had a little family of raccoons. What are you gonna do. But at the end, and I don't even know her birthday, so that's. That's on me. And almost everybody listening who thinks it's a bad idea. If you love her so much and you want to protect her. When's her birthday?
Brett Fessley
June 12th.
John Holmberg
There you go. Brad had to look it up. So. June 12th. Every year he's had it locked in. I'm gonna go talk. The thing is, my Apple calendar. His name was Jerry. Oh, mine too, I think. Look, the Anne Franklin.
Big Dick Toledo
The question would be, could you take the fun people and the people that. The fun people that would take it serious are there to support the. You know, the cause of the.
John Holmberg
Look, I don't know what remembrance was. St. Patrick. Would they get along with St. Patrick? Well, you know, they're not. They're all going in. The assholes aren't going in, okay? The fun people are going in. The assholes are standing outside screaming and yelling, bark, bark, bark. They're not going to get free food. What kind of hypocrite are you if you're against and you go in and get a free burger?
Big Dick Toledo
Not really against it. I'm just saying you're going in, then.
John Holmberg
You'Re a fun person. If you're going, you're a fun person. Yeah, I don't know. It would be great. It would be an awesome thing. And again, I. It took me going through that AI Chat generator two years ago to learn anything about Anne Frank. You thought she was Helen Keller the other day.
Brett Fessley
Like I said, I get those two confused sometimes, too.
John Holmberg
I don't even have.
Brett Fessley
I'm with them on the weirdest.
John Holmberg
That's like, confusing, you know, Nipsey Russell and the Albino from whatever that Foul Play movie.
Brett Fessley
Ask two broads who never met me.
John Holmberg
Two tricks I wouldn't have banged right now. These got some. Some real guido energy right now. What? Aunt Frank, Ellen Keller, two broads. I never looked twice at one of them. Never looked at me at all. Any. Anyway, I went to the AI Generator as kind of a weirdo. And you could talk to people from history. And of course, because AI has every single recorded word written about or an interview or the diary itself, everything you would ever want to know historically about a historical figure is in that AI Chat thing. So you can have a text conversation with anyone you want. And I did it with Anne Frank once. And just as a jackass asked, like, you were in there for a long time, you know, what about, like, sexual gratification, masturbating and stuff? Did you. How do you do. And she goes, I don't want to talk about that. And I said, come on, I'm the only one here. It doesn't, you know, it's not. It's not some paying. Yeah, I'm paying for this. Like, come on. And I basically kind of egged her on. She goes, look, there were seven other people there. That's the day I learned that she wasn't alone in the attic the entire time. I learned it from AI generated conversation with Anne Frank. So we can all. I bet you there's some people in the car right now go, well, she wasn't alone. She was the only diary they found. Evidently, she was writing for everybody, but she had seven or eight people up there. She goes, it would have been inconsiderate to the others to do stuff like that, because I'm like, there were other people up there. And next thing you know, I'm asking her questions for real. Like, what else did you have? Like, an oven? Like, you have food. Like, what was going on? And I learned from that. So we're not all, like Anne Frank supporters. We support the concept of, like, dancing around, like, don't be too Anne Frank, because you don't know really what's going on. You might step on something and Frank Day at the Attic. Now, keep in mind, this isn't their idea. I think it's a great idea.
Brett Fessley
You should start asking Helen Keller questions.
John Holmberg
Yeah. See what happened. How many books did you write with no eyes? I don't buy it. I don't. Columbus. Like, you can't celebrate him because you can't. I don't know what St. Patrick is. He could have been a complete doucher that, like, I don't know, owned people. I don't know.
Big Dick Toledo
We have all captured for a while.
John Holmberg
And, like, she's a victim. Why not celebrate her world?
Big Dick Toledo
Well, it's tough to sell a promotion that right off the bat seems like it's losing money for a restaurant. Restaurants are there. Like you're. You're asking a restaurant basically give away free food.
John Holmberg
It's a beer hall. They're going to make their money. They don't make their money on the food anyway. They sell so much beer. You go in there, you have a St. Patty's Day type deal for Anne Frank. It's time she got a holiday or something. Even a fake one. Like St. Patrick's Day. I think it was great. And it's just because the place is called the attic. And I'm like, I would go to that. And I asked my friend Brian. Who else with him? I'd go to that in a second. And I'm like, see? And you get T shirts and books. Maybe give her diary away. These are good ideas for restaurants. You know why your restaurant closed down?
Big Dick Toledo
You can educate more people.
John Holmberg
All of those ideas that we had for you with the colored fountain, which would have been great. We want a colored water fountain. Or it said colored water fountain above it, but it was just because it was painted like rainbows.
Brett Fessley
I would go there.
Big Dick Toledo
See, you said it was actually. It was for the. The bathrooms.
John Holmberg
It would. Colored bathrooms, too. Yeah. The colored fountain was my original idea. Not necessarily for Porkopolis. Years ago, we were gonna have one at Tony Roma's. Tried to talk to managers. That's ridiculous. I'm like, it's hilarious. And it actually shines a light on the idea of how silly that actually is. It's almost tongue in cheek to the whole. Can you believe this used to be a thing? Colored bathrooms. Or they're all just like. It's rainbow splatter paint everywhere. No. Not going to do it. The San Francisco's got legs. And people would go. The reason Brett gets Anne Frank and Helen Keller confused, because Breathless. Helen Keller should have been hidden away, too. What she wander around banging into everything. How many things are going to break before we put her in her place? Anyway. So I just thought that was fun. I don't know if they'll do it because everybody's scared of everything, but it sticks. What I do like about the new Trump world that seems to be sort of brave right now, the last week or so, is that a lot of people are basically telling people with sticks in their asses, we're tired of you. Quit making funny stuff. Your biggest problem, like, you didn't like the joke. Move on. You know, you don't have to pick it and scream at everything that you're like, oh, that's scary to me. That's not a joking matter. Only to you. Some people think it is. Pull the stick out of your ass. Why is everybody so uptight? And I kind of like that. It'll. It'll go too far the other way eventually. I mean, the thing with Elon Musk and that Nazi salute that's going around.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
It's just. That's the perfect example of everybody with a stick in their ass. You can freeze frame and pause anybody doing that. Wave. And he did. He found it on his Instagram and he said, here's five or six other people who are the same exact pose that are doing the Wave just like I did. Now he did the. You know, the. It was a. It was weird the way he did it, but even I forget. The guy is like, look, the dude's a wild nerd.
Big Dick Toledo
Loves the Roman.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he loves the Roman Empire.
Big Dick Toledo
The Roman Empire crap thing.
John Holmberg
He just. Yeah, the fact he had to explain it doesn't knock it off. Not a Nazi. Quit trying to make everybody like, I'm not going to be that blatant about it. If I am, it's.
Big Dick Toledo
You're right, John. Quit taking it so serious. Like the guy that dressed up like a rabbi to try to get access to the Nashville Jewish Community center in the most horrible costume ever.
John Holmberg
Well, see?
Big Dick Toledo
And then.
John Holmberg
But he's just a jerk. He's a jackass.
Big Dick Toledo
And he's like, I'm here to meet. I want to meet a rabbi.
John Holmberg
Yeah, this dude's a jackass trying to do Internet games. And he doesn't need to be canceled. It's a bad joke.
Big Dick Toledo
Now, his bonds at 250,000. They're pressing charges.
John Holmberg
All right, well, they can, because, you know, that's a thing.
Brett Fessley
He's dressed up as Mel Bro or what?
John Holmberg
It's not a joke. It's not funny. It's not a thing.
Big Dick Toledo
He's got the payout.
John Holmberg
He's got. But again, it's not anything that, like, in the end, it's like, all right, just don't be a jackass.
Big Dick Toledo
Right?
John Holmberg
You know, he's not. He's not spending $250,000, and he's not. They'll have him arrest. For what? Trespassing or something. He'll be gone. It'll be all over, and that's fine. Unless he came in there threatening people. And that's different. If he had a weapon. That's different. The thing everybody uptight has to stop. It has to stop. And again, Elon Musk, the guy on the news, is like, look, he's a nerd. This is nerd energy. He just. You ever seen nerds? They get a little spastic sometimes and do a thing, and it's like, can't do that. What do you do? It's like, I don't know. I'm just so excited. He's a dork.
Brett Fessley
Sounds like someone around here.
John Holmberg
We know we got a few dorks, but. Yeah, there's absolute dorks. All birds, morning sickness, disgusting. They say things that are horrible.
Brady Bogan
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Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne, now that it's.
John Holmberg
Getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is.
Larry McFeely
Blowing kind of cool, but it really.
John Holmberg
Smells like a basement. What can I do about that?
Wayne
Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.
John Holmberg
Nice.
Larry McFeely
Is that a big deal to get done?
Wayne
Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.
John Holmberg
That's awesome.
Wayne
I'll say We're Amco.
John Holmberg
Google Amco for your nearest location.
Larry McFeely
That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.
John Holmberg
A whole lot more.
Diane Fisher
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Michael
This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation Consultation today.
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness. But it's true. It's. You can't. Everybody's got to calm down. I like the Anne Frank idea and I think it's good. Says, unfortunately, John, Juneteenth is the day after Anne Frank Day. It's like. Well, it doesn't. You can have two things at once.
Big Dick Toledo
Another day of free food.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you got a place that you want to do Juneteenth free food, go nuts. At least while the sticks are kind of being dislodged or ignored for a little while. Let's have some fun.
Brett Fessley
Hey, Holmberg and Frank. Day at the Attic would be a mitzvah.
John Holmberg
Great.
Brett Fessley
Thinking Juno's.
John Holmberg
I don't even know what that means, but okay. Is that good? It was a sad thing. Mitzvahs are why?
Brett Fessley
Well, your mitzvahs are the celebration. That's when you turn. Is it 16?
John Holmberg
Oh, it's. Oh, that's probably the adult bar mitzvah. Bat Mitz.
Brett Fessley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Well, why is that bad?
Brett Fessley
I don't know.
John Holmberg
Juneaus.
Brett Fessley
I think someone would throw the Juno's.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I know. I think you just want to hit me with Juno. Okay, fine. Sounds great to me. Think. You know, they could have a limited menu of Anne Frank specials. Addicts. Addicts and Frank specials. And you get, you know, some food. And not everything would be free, but Brady's all worried about. The restaurant. Wouldn't do the. They'd do just fine. You can handle it. And then you get people up there drinking beer and having a party. It's awesome. Sticks and asses. I can sense it. You're not a fan.
Big Dick Toledo
I mean. No, because the bottom line is that's fine. Like, I, you know, But I think where people would get, you know, bound shape is the whole reason you're coming up with that promotion is to make money to profit off the situation.
Brett Fessley
It's a business.
John Holmberg
There's a donation bucket at Aunt Frank's house.
Big Dick Toledo
People don't like that fun of it.
John Holmberg
But, like, those are the ones I'm talking about. I don't want to hear about the people who don't like it don't go. The fun people can go. And the people. You're all worried. That's what I'm trying to get rid of is the whole, let's. Let's think about all the people we need to worry about rather than just, let's have a good time and not be malicious. It's not malicious. You're not making fun of it. You're actually giving her a tribute, but you can't even mention her name because people with sticks up her asses automatically assume you're making fun. You can't have. You can have Fun and celebrate something. Like you said, it's a mitzvah. I don't even know what that is. That's a good idea. The attic. You're missing that. You're missing that one. They should have Down Syndrome Day in honor of, like, the 1940s, when everybody who had a kid that had it had to hide them in the attic when there was company. Now everybody's up in the attic getting a free meal. I think it's great. Downey Day. I wouldn't want to. If I was a restaurant, I wouldn't want to be part of that because the mopping would be just so much mopping at the end of the day, so much cleanup. But it shines a light on how we are as a society and then says, how come we can't mention Anne Frank without people with sticks in their asses winning that fight immediately? What if I want to celebrate her life? That's exactly what I'm doing. Can't mention it. You're automatically a jerk. Still good. But while we're in this kind of head space, as a country where it seems like sort of the fun people are telling people with sticks up their butts to knock it off, we need to take advantage of a few things while we can't, because it will swing. It'll swing one way too far and then swing back way too far. Always happens.
Brett Fessley
Here they go.
John Holmberg
These ideas are great. Dorks can be Nazis. Well, you didn't even spell it right, Elon. And is and proved it. If you don't think so, do the same thing he did in public and see how that goes for you. Well, again, it was a dorky move. It didn't mean. Yeah. It didn't bring up the Third Reich to the point of like, well, they're back and everybody's in. He may have done something really weird, and he might have some thoughts you disagree with, but I'm not going to go so far as to say Elon Musk is a Nazi. Yeah, maybe he's got things that are like, well, that's a little over the line. I haven't seen that too far yet, says John. I'm not offended or anything, but on this one, I think you're wrong. He 100% did a Nazi salute, and he has not even come out and said it wasn't doing the salute. I don't know about you, but if I was accused of doing a Nazi salute, first thing I'd do is say, that's not a Nazi salute. I was doing a salute. And he hasn't done that. The still images of all the Democrats doing the same thing are not anywhere near what Elon did. Watch the videos behind those still images. I watch baseball players do it all the time. The pound their chest and then throw the hand in the air. And sometimes it's. Sometimes it's not so great. I'm not saying Elon Musk didn't do something that was like, oh, that's the Nazi salute. I'm saying he didn't do it because he's a Nazi. I'm saying it was like, oh, that's not a wave we do anymore. What are you doing?
Big Dick Toledo
You're catch some easy, right?
John Holmberg
People are going to probably confuse that with a real life support. The Nazi.
Big Dick Toledo
In fact, it's the Roman general salute.
John Holmberg
Right. Well, look, that's the worst excuse of all time. The best thing you can do is just go, I was waving and it looks terrible. Terrible. I. It was dumb. And I agree that he could come out and fix it. But again, let's not. Let's not assume just because we saw something we didn't like that it's a complete Nazi salute.
Brett Fessley
But he doesn't come out and apologized either.
John Holmberg
No. And he needs to do that. Or he doesn't. He can just go, you guys are overreacting. Yeah. Which again, my rule on apologizing to a mob that's not right. Is you don't do it right. Because the second he comes out, goes, sorry about the Nazi salute. He admits it's a Nazi salute, and then everybody jumps them anyway. The apology does nothing. So right now, the best thing to do is just let everybody with their panties in a bunch lose their minds and then prove you're not a Nazi by not doing Nazi stuff. You know? Yes. Would I walk around and do Nazi salutes to people in the public? No. But can I get caught, like, throwing my hand in the air and making it look like one?
Big Dick Toledo
He's shooting off rockets. Hitler loved rockets. He wanted rockets.
John Holmberg
I just. I like to live in the world where I kind of believe that if a Nazi is gonna get that far in life, he's not gonna. Without letting us know he's a Nazi. Isn't gonna reveal himself at an inauguration by going, remember these Now I'm doing this all the time. If he starts doing it becomes a pattern. You're like, all right, we got a problem with Elon. In fact, I'll do that for all of you. I'll give everybody out there listening and everybody in the world one, oops, Nazi salute in Life. You make a pattern out of it. Suddenly we got a problem. If Elon goes out and does it again, you're like, all right, he's trying to start a trend. One Nazi salute. Fool me once, fool me twice. I understand. It's touching, but fool me twice. Now all of a sudden, you are kind of. Well, we tried to make it so you weren't. I'm defending you, but don't do it again. I did that with Brian Callan when he had all this. That was the weirdest, like, calmest conversation I've had. When he was going through all of his people were trying to accuse him of sex crimes and stuff and rape and all that. And I first, for whatever reason, we were talking on text right before that all broke, and I called him and I said, you've never. I don't know you well enough to do this. And I said, you've never been anything but nice to me. And I said, we've developed kind of a friendship where we're talking back and forth, and I'm like, I will back you 100% from my little tiny area of media, and you'll always have a place to tell your story as long as you're not lying to me. Like, you know, this. This doesn't strike me as something you do. From the little bit I know about you, I could be wrong, but you're telling me 100% across the board, you didn't do a thing, and you're going to fight it, and I'm going to stand by you until I can't. So just let me know before I get in your corner that this isn't going to backfire me. He goes, absolutely not. I'm like, okay, then, I'll stand by you until I can't. Once it starts coming out that you've lied to me, then I'm just going to flame you. He goes, I won't do it. And I'm like. And he didn't. Because it turned out most that was.
Big Dick Toledo
And he fought it all the way.
John Holmberg
It's the same thing. You do a Nazi salute. I'll be like, did you do that on purpose? No, stupid. I got nervous. They threw my hand up. I did this thing. Pictures make it look like I'm doing Nazi salutes. It was weird and probably, like, maybe even a nerd who did something that thought it would be funny to, like. I don't know what he.
Big Dick Toledo
I was doing it to be funny.
John Holmberg
No, it wasn't a Nazi salute. He was doing, like, a real quick super wave. And it was like. And it comes across a Nazi salute. Do it a few more times. We got a problem. In fact, people who hate him, you should probably want them to keep doing it. Don't try to stop it, because if he gets comfortable with it, then you'll get rid of them. Everybody who hates Elon Musk. I particularly don't hate Elon Musk. Larry and I were talking yesterday. Larry had a great idea for Elon Musk. Is that this new thing about plastic and garbage and stuff and how we don't know what to do with it anymore. Rockets, Garbage rockets, where we shoot it all into space. Because it's. That's an amazing idea. Because they said, let it burn back. No, you just. You put it in a capsule and you send it off into deep space. Let it fly. And then if it hits another planet, so what? And if there's other people out there that, hey, quit throwing your trash in our yard. Then we meet some new peoples and meet some new aliens. Or we just push it directly at the sun. It's a great idea, but we've heard.
Big Dick Toledo
A couple of stories that science has developed something that breaks it down.
John Holmberg
It's not working. They spent $20 billion just on one research program between, like, a bunch of nations to try to figure out how to get plastics churned out faster. I shoot them up into the space. And by the way, as an adult, for people concerned about plastic, there wasn't any plastic when I was a kid that we used to throw away on a regular basis. Plastic was a forever thing. It was toys. It was like plates, like little, you know, paper, like the kids plates. So mom didn't have to do dishes afterwards. Rinse off these. Now it's just Dasani bottles. There's more plastic that we throw away now that we're worried about plastic than ever before. We used to drink out of the. The hose or the faucet. Now everybody's so bougie. You can't have water that comes out of the spigot. That's gross to go to Go cups. You got plastic right there. That was maybe at McDonald's you get those weird paper cups. And then they switched them to the plastic ones. Orange juice always came in the clear plastic. But we didn't have plastic to throw. We didn't have a whole bin at my house growing up for just another set of trash of plastic things. It's everywhere. And now we're complaining there's too much. Stop making it. The answer is easy. If we weren't making so Much money selling bottled water to everybody. I don't think we'd have this gigantic plastic issue we throw.
Big Dick Toledo
How much of a factor? I mean, you know, it's obviously big, but, like, the percentage of that, of the plastic.
John Holmberg
Think of how much, how many. You're holding that Duncan Cup. Yeah, you probably have like, what, 8, 9, 10 of those a day. Brady's killing it just by himself with these plastic mugs. You get two or three. I have water bottles at my house. Five, six a day. I don't reuse them because I'd have to fill them with tap water. And evidently, in my mind, even that's disgusting. It's not. I drink tap water all the time. And it's. I'm fine.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And they're worried about it. And it's like, well, that's silly. We're dumb. We're just dumb. But Larry's idea of, like, Elon should just get trash rockets and set up, like, just launch after launch after launch of just.
Brett Fessley
People still bitch about it.
John Holmberg
Oh, people bitch. That's my point. Littering space, good. It's better than littering the planets. One or the other. It either stays here or it goes there. What if we need it someday? Well, we need this right now. And you wouldn't shut up about that waste management rocket. Amazing. And think of how cool that would be on Wednesday you put out. And trust me, they'd say you couldn't.
Big Dick Toledo
Keep up with the launchings.
John Holmberg
As a guy, I know, but as a guy, if they gave us another bin for rocket trash, we would sort our trash. Like, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna make sure. Rocket trash. I'm gonna fill that one first. Yeah, we'd probably have 70 to 90 launches an hour of rocket trace. We'd probably just have a catapult we'd eventually invent. Just chalking it into it would be great. Just banging it out into the space. And space is evidently endless. We can throw some garbage in it. I think that's a great plan. So get Elon on that and stop bothering him about that Nazi salute. Unless he does it again. If he breaks out more Nazi salutes. I'm with you. One does not make you a Nazi. Two makes me curious. Three, you're a Nazi.
Brett Fessley
Well, Lemmy used to dress up in all that Nazi gear when he'd be on stage and stuff.
John Holmberg
I don't remember that. Oh, yeah.
Brett Fessley
I'll show you pictures.
John Holmberg
Says this guy. Says, even if Elon was a Nazi, the ones complaining are also the ones who keep Padding his pockets. Thanks to Tesla. He's not completely wrong. No, but I'm not going to go down the road of making him all one thing and every Tesla owner another thing that are horrible.
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John Holmberg
Although most Tesla owners are pretty much live cuck weirdos. And that's okay.
Big Dick Toledo
Well then, you know, speaking of the generational thing of companies that have still survived that were supporting the Nazis back in the day.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Big Dick Toledo
And people are buying.
John Holmberg
This is all stick in your ass conversations. Yeah, everybody's got to stick for something. And again, yeah, if you're doing a Nazi salute right now and your friend is laughing, knock it off. But also, don't let him take a picture of you because if he starts hating you someday, that's coming back to haunt you. Probably not a great move. I would discourage it. Like, brett, don't do Nazi salutes. Put your hand down. Put your hand down. I've called on you already. Brilliant, John.
Brett Fessley
Then we get nasty notes from ancient old aliens like your neighbors across the alley.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I wouldn't have those fights as much with the alley neighbors. Although they've turned out to be wonderful people. They're not, you know, we're not best for. I don't know their names or anything, but they seem very.
Big Dick Toledo
They came around.
John Holmberg
Well, that was a. It was a dick move to put a note on the public trash can that said, this is mine. Use something else like, oh, no, no, no. It was not a good first foot forward, but everything's fine. But it's just. It doesn't make sense to me that people are like that. This says, you know, his parents talking about Elon again. His parents were deeply involved in the apartheid of the indigenous people of South Africa. I don't know, but it's white like a goose and marches like a goose. It might be a Nazi Again, the people in South Africa, the racism that existed there, it changed. So my grandpa wouldn't allow different strokes on his television set in his house, because, quote, and I'm quoting Alvar, I don't want them in my house. Am I automatically tied to the generations of my family because of their behavior? No, I vehemently disagree. Different strokes. A, hilarious. And B, they weren't in the house. But I had to turn it because my grandpa wouldn't allow that in his home. He looked at the TV and said, we've invited them into our house. And I looked at him like, you got to be kidding me. Is that real? And he's like, turn this. And I would turn it like, wow, Gary Coleman threatens Alvar in a big way. And we'd have to watch, like, MASH all the time or Newhart all the time. Could not have different strokes on the tv. If it got too black, he wanted it out of his house.
Brett Fessley
The good times was out.
John Holmberg
Good times was he'd light the TV on fire if that was on too long. Not a thing. The Jeffersons not watching it. Does that mean I'm that way? Because my grandpa was. Does that mean Elon Musk was for apartheid because his parents were. I don't know. That whole situation only unraveled in the last 40 years. So there's a. There's plenty of people still alive that were part of that. You can't just do that now. Maybe he is a Nazi, but I don't think he's displayed Nazi, like, behavior. And again, we seem to be okay with it, with the technology parts, because that Tesla is everywhere. Lots of folks driving around in Teslas. If it's the Nazi that did it, and it's up to you, that Nazi salute. Things got two. It's got. It's taken off because we just want something to complain about. And would you. And I asked this. How would you feel if somebody. You know, whether he did it awkwardly or not, you're pointing at something and somebody takes a picture and, like, look, Dave from accounting is doing a Nazi salute. I got a picture of it. You're like, hey, that's not fair. Like, well, then don't do it again, Dave, because if you do it again now you're a Nazi. You could get frozen in time in a photograph that makes you look a little bit Nazi. Ish. And again, keep your eyes on it. But I don't think.
Big Dick Toledo
And now with A.I.
John Holmberg
Oh, that's gonna ruin every. We're all gonna be Nazis if we can. You can. And Somebody will do it. Now you can AI me walking around goose stepping. And it would be pretty realistic. And there's nothing I can do about it. So again, sticks and asses have to be a little loosened. Keep them there, but a little looser. It all stems from the idea of Anne Frank at the Attic Day celebrating her birthday. Nobody celebrates Anne Frank. We all are so sad. She would have wanted it this way. She would have wanted a little bit like, you know what? I fought hard. I'd like to be remembered in a fun way. Go have a beer. You got it. We can do that. And most of the people that are upset haven't even read the Anne Frank diary or know her real story. Nobody knows anything about what we celebrate. So what's the big deal? Cinco de Mayo. Any idea?
Brett Fessley
No clue.
Big Dick Toledo
Celebration of a one day battle.
John Holmberg
It was a one day war against France. People died.
Big Dick Toledo
And that it changed. 24 hours later.
John Holmberg
People freaking died. And we go and chug margaritas and throw burritos and mini chimneys down our throat. We have no idea why.
Big Dick Toledo
Liberated for what day?
John Holmberg
Right. People were murdered. Slaughtered. Liberated. You know, French people. In Mexico. Everybody was slaughtered. September.
Big Dick Toledo
It's turned into a hell of a celebration.
John Holmberg
Mexican Independence Day. Not even close. Cinco de Mayo's all about the margaritas because it took off. We don't know what we celebrate. Why not have Anne Frank's birthday?
Big Dick Toledo
And we've turned other things into sales as well.
John Holmberg
Tons. I don't even care about the sale. You don't even need to have the sale part. Yeah. Cinco de Mayo. Nobody even knows why they're drinking. They just are. Because the drinks are flowing. And that's good. It's good for everything. Just don't invite Elon to the Anne Frank thing. Evidently that's rubbing people the wrong way right now.
Brett Fessley
Helen Keller. Yes. But not Anne Frank, apparently.
John Holmberg
Now the Helen Keller thing. Don't get me started on that. You can't celebrate something that was a complete nutter. Lie across the board. Helen Keller didn't do a thing. Zero accomplishments. Everything you've been taught about Helen Keller is a lie. Starting with she couldn't have written the book because she wouldn't have known where the paper ended. If she did anything. Someone else was moving her hand around. Like in Million Dollar Baby when they stuck the pen in Hilary Swank's mouth and moved the paper. That's Hillary. That's. That's Helen's book. She did. Hey. She did pen. What? Who taught her letters? And then. And how did she know how did she know what she'd written? How did she know when she was just Helen? You've written on half the desk. You forgot the paper and they got to go pound into her hand that she's got about five, six books. Yeah, she's got about six. Bestseller. She was five. Couldn't. Couldn't make a word. By 11 she had sold a book like a Pulitzer Prize winner. Most 11 year olds with eyes and ears can't do that. She wasn't special five years ago. Now she's penning full novels. Don't buy it. Something was going on.
Big Dick Toledo
Dr. Sullivan's a millionaire.
John Holmberg
Dr. Sullivan. That little blind bitch has got me rolling in gold. I think a Helen's feeling like she's about to pump out another novel. I'll be right back. Then she parades this poor handicapped kid around in a dress. Makes her feel faces. She knows everything. She's written books. Just ask her. I'll do it. She only one that could talk to her because she invented only a language. They that to me is. Oh yeah. Helen says she's thrilled to be here. I don't know. She's just rolling her hand around a mine. By the way, I'll never teach anybody my system of how to talk to somebody who's blind and deaf ever again. It'll never be used on anybody but her questions. Does Helen know where she is? Oh sure she does. Sure, sure. She booked the tickets online. Next question. Helen never did a thing. When you start putting your brain around what Helen Keller accomplished, you realize it's all just been a lie. It's all a lie. 100. I'm big on that one. We can't celebrate Helen Keller Day. That's celebrating fake news completely. Anne Frank was very real. And so is this onion taste in my mouth that I can't get here. But people with sticks in their asses. Your time is up. For just a little while. You'll be back. Don't worry. You'll be back. Sticks and asses people. The ones who want to complain about it. You'll be back. Just for now the rogue weirdos get a chance to do some stuff. Kind of let the air out. I can breathe again without worrying about saying you look pretty to a girl at work and not losing my job and any. Any chance of having her. Don't take it too far though. There are boundaries. Don't touch people. That's the big rule. But if you see somebody who looks nice. Hey, you look nice. That's now back. You can do that without sexual it's not sexual assault. Say somebody's hair looks good. And it was for probably about most of. Most of the last nine years.
Big Dick Toledo
There's still some fallout, though.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Be careful.
Big Dick Toledo
Still kind of hesitant.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh. Toes in.
Big Dick Toledo
Feet first.
John Holmberg
First time. You don't want to go diving head first into that pool. Hey, you got to set it. Makes me want to go. Just. If you notice somebody's hair at work is different, say so. Hey, your hair. You changed it. You look great. That used to be firing offense in, like, 20, 17, 18, when that whole me too thing started getting crazy. You couldn't even. When I started the whole acknowledge female here for the morning sickness day, you see a girl in the office, you say, acknowledge female. Because everything you said for a little while was there was a rampage. They were out to get us.
Big Dick Toledo
I said her hair looked nice.
John Holmberg
Sue me, H.R. you couldn't do it. Why are you even worried about her appearance? I'm like, I can't win this. I shouldn't have said a thing. Acknowledge female. That's all you had to do. Now you can say it again. Look, you got. Dude, what'd you get? An ombre. I like that. It's kind of fade. Your hair looks really pretty. Well, thank you. And women like it. They fought for a little while to. And they just. They just never look good in that, Edgar. Yeah, they just never wanted weirdos to do it. They never wanted the office shooter to come by and go, I like your new haircut. That's what they were really protecting against.
Big Dick Toledo
You're not looking at my hair.
John Holmberg
You're looking at my forehead and staring at my soul. Please, I'm. I'm filing a complaint. It got out of hand. I remember Susan downstairs. It's our turn. They had a whole thing going for a while. If it was a man looking at the cops and you guys glued to the window screaming about what a great ass that cops got, it's our turn. Oh, Jesus. The management just told me that they're allowed to sexually assault men with their eyes and. And verbally, we couldn't have done it. So that's kind of turning around now. If a bunch of hot cops are standing outside and there's a couple of girls, oof, that one's pants are pretty. You can do it again, because it's everybody's turn for a couple months, and I'm kind of enjoying that. I do think we've had too many Nazi salutes, even at one. If it becomes a pattern, we'll have a problem. Otherwise, I'm Pretty sure that that goes away. I, for one, enjoy. When a Nazi reveals himself that way, then I know. Will you quit Nazi saluting me goodbye. Huh? This one says my sister. C word.
Brett Fessley
Oh, all right.
John Holmberg
Has an old picture of me doing a Nazi salute from when I was a kid. And 20 years later, she won't get rid of it. She's using it as ammunition. That's not good. You gotta get hold of that thing.
Brett Fessley
David Vasquez says he knows how to get rid of the onion flavor.
John Holmberg
How?
Brett Fessley
Easy. Try to get rid of the onion flavor.
John Holmberg
Gold. Yeah. All right. I'd do it right now. I can't stand. That's just awful. I can't. It can't be much worse than the Gulf.
Brett Fessley
Go down the hall.
John Holmberg
I might say. You guys busy? Anybody here at Katie? KB Gun. It'll take me a lot longer than that. Ouch. Ouch. Look, it's my first time. Can't you do most of the work and just, like, run down the hall? When you're ready, I'll. I'll open up like the clown's mouth on 18 in a mini golf course.
Big Dick Toledo
Hook me in the eyes.
John Holmberg
Oh, no, no. We're not doing this for love. Just get the onion flavor out of my gullet.
Big Dick Toledo
This isn't fun.
John Holmberg
You go in the bathroom and then I'll stand outside the door. And when you're ready to, you know. Put life in my throat. Is it. You promise it gets rid of the onion flavor? I get to punch you If I still taste onions in the end. I swear. So what brought this on? I don't know. Raw onions on a hamburger. I didn't know that's Ben. When he gets here, I'll hit my knees. If this. If it's still here by the time Ben gets here, it's awful.
Big Dick Toledo
Let's do it 11 times.
John Holmberg
I keep doing it. It's still oniony. It's just not taking. Keep scrubbing. All right. It's like trying to bathe skunk smell off of something. Tomatoes and tomatoes. And I gotta bathe in tomatoes. Let's get ourselves a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: January 23, 2025 Title: Wondering If A Bar Could Do Anne Frank Day Specials - Sticks In Asses People Up In Arms Still Over Elon's Awkward Salute To Crowd And We Don't See It As Anything Other Than Weird
In the January 23, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg engages with his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Fessley, and Dick Toledo in a lively discussion covering a variety of topics. The episode navigates through humorous anecdotes, controversial opinions, and social commentary, all delivered with the show's characteristic blend of entertainment and provocation.
John Holmberg introduces the idea of celebrating Anne Frank's birthday by proposing that bars host special events, such as free food promotions, to honor her memory in an unconventional way.
John Holmberg [05:19]: "But you put that heat. What's. What?"
Dick Toledo [05:19]: "You are."
The proposal sparks a debate among the hosts about the appropriateness of associating a historical figure like Anne Frank with celebratory events typically reserved for festivities. Holmberg suggests that such an event could attract "fun people" while addressing concerns about backlash from those who might find the idea distasteful.
The discussion touches on the sensitivity of commemorating tragic figures in a celebratory context and the potential for misunderstanding or offense.
A significant portion of the episode centers around Elon Musk's public salute, which has been perceived by some as reminiscent of Nazi gestures. Holmberg and his co-hosts dissect the incident, exploring public reactions and the implications of such actions by prominent figures.
John Holmberg [12:19]: "The thing with Elon Musk and that Nazi salute that's going around."
Dick Toledo [12:19]: "Yeah."
Holmberg argues that the salute was likely a misunderstood gesture and emphasizes the importance of not hastily branding individuals as extremists based on isolated incidents.
The conversation delves into the broader theme of cancel culture and the divisive nature of public opinion, highlighting the tension between personal expression and societal expectations.
The hosts explore the escalating issue of plastic waste, with John Holmberg humorously suggesting that Elon Musk could address the problem by launching rockets filled with garbage into space.
The discussion underscores the absurdity of proposed solutions to environmental problems, blending satire with genuine concern over sustainable waste management practices.
In a controversial segment, Holmberg challenges the well-known achievements of Helen Keller, questioning the authenticity of her accomplishments and the narratives surrounding her life.
John Holmberg [35:11]: "When you start putting your brain around what Helen Keller accomplished, you realize it's all just been a lie."
Big Dick Toledo [37:10]: "Dr. Sullivan's a millionaire."
This segment delves into the realm of conspiracy theories and challenges historical accounts, presenting a provocative stance that is likely to spark debate among listeners.
The hosts discuss the complexities of workplace interactions in the context of the "Me Too" movement, using humorous anecdotes to illustrate the challenges of social communication in professional settings.
John Holmberg [39:06]: "I remember Susan downstairs. It's our turn. They had a whole thing going for a while."
Big Dick Toledo [39:38]: "You're not looking at my hair."
The conversation highlights the delicate balance between maintaining professionalism and fostering a comfortable work environment, emphasizing the hosts' take on navigating modern workplace dynamics.
John Holmberg [12:19]: "The thing with Elon Musk and that Nazi salute that's going around."
John Holmberg [21:09]: "If you don't think so, do the same thing he did in public and see how that goes for you."
John Holmberg [35:11]: "When you start putting your brain around what Helen Keller accomplished, you realize it's all just been a lie."
John Holmberg [39:06]: "I remember Susan downstairs. It's our turn. They had a whole thing going for a while."
The January 23rd episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a mix of humor, controversial topics, and sharp social commentary. John Holmberg and his co-hosts navigate through sensitive subjects with a blend of satire and candid discussion, challenging listeners to reflect on societal norms, historical narratives, and the complexities of modern interactions. Whether debating the appropriateness of commemorating Anne Frank in a celebratory context or questioning widely accepted historical accounts, the hosts engage their audience in a thought-provoking and entertaining dialogue.
Note: This summary captures the essence and key discussions from the episode based on the provided transcript. Some topics discussed may be sensitive or controversial in nature.