01-23-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Condensed Show Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness
Station: 98 KUPD, Arizona
Episode: Condensed Short Show – Friday (January 23, 2026)
Hosts: John Holmberg (Holmberg), Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo, Byron

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Episode Overview

This Friday condensed episode of Arizona’s top morning show is classic HMS: irreverent, provocative, and unfiltered. The crew debates human behavior (especially female and male dating dynamics), dives into wild social trends, explores a “last meals” restaurant inspired by serial killers, unpacks the problems of public restrooms, discusses AI-powered suicide pods, and riffs on unique job stories. The episode ends with dating banter, listener emails, and classic HMS tangents, all punctuated by crass humor and memorable one-liners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Social Experiment TV Show: "Blue Collar Joe"

[01:09–05:12]

• Brady pitches a TV show idea: Hot female influencers are taken to routine errand locations, not knowing that a billionaire is disguised among “blue-collar” workers.
  • Would their behavior change if they knew any random guy could be super-rich?
  • Contrasts how men and women approach romance and status.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Brady: "To prove that men are the more emotional and romantic gender... just show how different she would act knowing that someone out there's a billionaire." [01:09]
  • Byron: "But then if she knew one of them was the guy, then she's nice to everyone." [02:27]
• The team riffs on male/female dating behaviors and how money impacts attraction.

2. New Dating Trend: "Vabbing"

[07:00–12:55]

• Brady introduces “vabbing” – a TikTok trend where women use their own vaginal fluids as perfume, hoping pheromones attract men.
  • Crew reactions: mostly disgust and disbelief; lots of jokes about cats being attracted, health risks, and how desperate some must be.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Brady: "For lack of a better way to describe it...when her sneezes into her underpants, she takes that and dabs it on her wrists and neck." [08:39]
  • Brett: "Just kill yourself." [09:05] (incredulous/humorous reaction)
  • Byron: "Some girls would have the wet look the whole time." [09:28]
  • Brady: "If it has a scent, it's gone too far. I want you to wash." [10:17]
• They discuss the ease (or not) for women in the dating world and riff on Axe body spray, pets following vabbing women, and the absurdity of viral TikTok fads.

3. Serial Killer "Last Meal" Restaurant

[15:54–21:11]

• Holmberg describes a new Ohio restaurant called “The Final Meal” featuring actual last meals of notorious death row inmates.
  • Menu items named for killers: John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Eileen Wuornos, Timothy McVeigh, etc.
  • The idea combines America’s fascination with true crime and food.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Brady: "The menu are serial killers', death row guys' last meals... The Ted Bundy was a parmesan steak and loaded steak fries." [17:06]
  • Byron: "Kind of like when it came out years ago, was that 19 crimes wine..." [19:01]

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4. AI-Powered Suicide Pods

[22:10–25:27]

• Discussion about new AI-assisted suicide pods that operate without human intervention and allow couples to “go together.”
  • The AI walks you through the process, can be given any voice/accent by the user.
  • Crew jokes about choosing voice options, the idea of a “Kevin from Discover Card” AI, and the bleakness of the whole thing.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Brady: "AI knows that if the suicide pod has weight in will then commence with verbal commands..." [22:10]
  • Brett: "I would push the button myself." [24:12]
  • Byron: "You'd probably go with the British guy to keep it classy." [23:59]

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5. Listener Letters: The “Golden Asshole” and Bathroom Challenges

[26:15–31:20]

• Listener “Matt A” emails about the challenge of public bathrooms (specifically at QT), calls Holmberg “golden asshole” for boasting about superior sphincter control.
• Brady leans into the nickname, spinning a lengthy, humorous monologue about anus discipline, proper eating, and mutual respect between man and butthole.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Brady: "If I could get known as the golden asshole of Phoenix... I might start crying. The name of your bar..." [27:19]
  • Byron: "Kegel strength."[29:06]
  • Brady: “Me and the golden asshole, we have an agreement...He’s never gonna let me down, I’m never gonna let him down.” [30:51]

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6. Awkward Listener Dilemma: Side Piece Crosses Paths

[31:28–38:45]

• Listener writes in: His wife and mistress meet at dinner, exchange numbers, and now plan a double-date with their spouses.
• Crew gives advice (mostly to run), jokes about Dateline specials, blackmail scams, and worst-case scenarios.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Brady: “There’s a whole myriad of reasons this shouldn’t have happened, but here we are...You have loose lug nuts, and that doesn’t lead to tightening.” [35:41]
  • Byron: "You find out that they're both in, it's over. The husband." [36:19]

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7. Absurd News Stories & Lamont Holmes

[39:55–44:10]

• The team covers news:
  • A man on house arrest attaches his GPS ankle monitor to a dog (Lamont Holmes case).
  • Other crime stories: upskirt videos in church; serial used car scammer.
  • The guys joke about the name “Lamont Holmes,” riff on old TV (Sanford & Son), and play along with stereotypes.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Byron: "Do we have a picture?" [40:22]
  • Brady: "Put it on the dog. Dummy. I see the month. Put it on the dog..." [40:36]

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8. Guest Segment: Classic Jobs & Comedy

[44:20–51:09]

• Special guest shares personal stories:
  • Selling fire extinguishers door-to-door (“Safety First” brand) using scare tactics.
  • Working at a perfumery at age 15, learning to mix scents.
• On comedy and ad writing: The guest (possibly JB Smoove) discusses being typecast (Leon Black, Curb Your Enthusiasm), doing voiceover work, producing ads, and comedic timing.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Guest: “My job was to scare the hell out of you...” [48:01]
  • Brady: “You can walk into a room that just got cleaned up from a murder with bleach and you can smell bacon frying.” [52:06]

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9. Dating Banter & Listener Email

[52:49–56:15]

• A mother emails about her neurodivergent daughter seeking a date. Crew jokes with show member Thriller about being set up, what he looks for in a date, first date scenarios, and the peculiarities of parental matchmaking.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Thriller: “I want someone to...I want to show agency.” [53:48]
  • Brady: “You put a vagina on that guy...I'm feeling the energy.” [54:34]

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• On "Blue Collar Joe" TV idea:
  Brady (01:09): “To prove that men are the more emotional and more romantic gender, you tell a group of 10 hot influencer women...at one of those places, there will be a billionaire who wants to date them.”

• Explaining vabbing:
  Brady (08:39): “When her sneezes into her underpants, she takes that and dabs it on her wrists and neck.” Brett (09:05): “I'll just kill yourself.”

• Golden Asshole monologue:
  Brady (30:51): “Me and the golden asshole, we have an agreement...He’s never gonna let me down, I’m never gonna let him down.”

• Awkward mistress/wife dinner:
  Brady (35:41): “There’s a whole myriad of reasons that this shouldn’t have happened, but here we are...You have loose lug nuts, and that doesn’t lead to tightening.”

• Selling fire extinguishers:
  Guest (48:01): “My job was to scare the hell out of you.”

• On scent memory:
  Guest (52:06): “You can walk into a room that just got cleaned up from a murder with bleach and you can smell bacon frying.”

• Dating & agency:
  Thriller (53:48): “I want someone to...I want to show agency.”

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Segment Timestamps

• "Blue Collar Joe" Social Experiment TV Idea: 01:09–05:12
• Vabbing Discussion: 07:00–12:55
• Serial Killer Last Meal Restaurant: 15:54–21:11
• AI Suicide Pod: 22:10–25:27
• Golden Asshole & Bathroom Talk: 26:15–31:20
• Mistress Encounter & Double Date Nightmare: 31:28–38:45
• Absurd Criminal News: 39:55–44:10
• Guest Segment: Jobs & Comedy: 44:20–51:09
• Dating Banter & Listener Setup: 52:49–56:15

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Tone & Style

True to form, the entire episode is raucous, sarcastic, brutally honest, and always teetering on the edge of outrageousness. The team’s friendship and banter make even the most bizarre topics (vabbing, suicide pods, bathroom mishaps) both hilarious and oddly insightful.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you missed this episode, you dove into classic HMS chaos: controversial social experiments, real-life weirdness, outlandish dating trends, true crime restaurant ideas, and a steady stream of wild emails and guest stories. With their irrepressible humor, the HMS crew manages to find the laugh (and the lesson) in almost anything.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady]

Brett, the last thing you want to.

[Byron]

Do is sell the gun to someone.

[Brady]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? I had a great idea for a TV show walking around there, though. Look at this. To prove that men are the more emotional and more romantic gender, you tell a group of 10 hot influencer women that throughout the day the TV producers are going to take them places. And at one of those places there will be a billionaire who wants to date them and has requested through the Internet, through their service that you bring her to me. But you don't know who he is. And you'd go to Burger King and you go to, you know, Walgreens and you go to Jiffy Lube and Discount Tire. You take her some places to run some errands as a personal assistant for the guy who's putting it all together. And one of the people serving her is a billionaire. She knows it, but not all of them are just to see how nice she is to dude. She would have never been nice to like the dude at discount. Tired. She doesn't know why she's there. And she's gonna cozy up to him like, hi. You know, and he'd be like, what's going on?

[Byron]

But then if she knew one of them was the guy, then she's nice to everyone.

[Brady]

Right? She's. Well, that's the point, though. But the dudes at Discount Tire would be like, normally, this girl is not giving me any attention. What is going on? And just to see. Just to show them how different they are when money's involved. That dude at Discount Tire could be the match in her life. Well, without a billion dollars, she's never going to be interested. But a man would. A man would find a girl at the Burger King and think, my God, she's beautiful. No matter what he's got. He'd be like, you know, that's the whole Cinderella thing. Take some poor bitch who used to be a maid for. It didn't matter to him what she did. It does, though. It would be a real social experiment to have that. But you just show how different she would act knowing that someone out there's a bit. But she's talking to just Joe Schmo, you know, minimum wage.

[Byron]

Doesn't know.

[Brady]

She has no idea. Yeah.

[Byron]

That's the way you're hoping the guy. You're helping the billionaire out, of course.

[Brady]

Yep. She has no idea. But she knows she better be putting it on, because at any time now, one of these weird minimum wage dudes could be a billionaire. Whereas in a normal day, she has to go run these errands. She's not. But she's not trying to win one over. That's proof. Right? And we're all sitting there like, my buddy Brinks, like, that's a great idea. It would be a great show. Especially to watch them fawn all over themselves over a dude who is not the guy. He's just like, wow, this is. And I've never. And then you interview him. It's like, never had a woman that beautiful even spend two seconds with me or talk. I don't know what's going on.

[Byron]

What are you doing when you get off work?

[Brady]

Yeah. And you just tell the dude at the tire shop, hey, we're doing a thing about. We're calling it blue Collar Joe. And we want you to be part of this and just your regular day. And he doesn't know that she's part of it. She comes. He's like, man, I've never had a day like, undercover boss, sort of kind of undercover gold digger. It would be awesome. And then one of them is. And then the billionaire can decide based on how she treated everybody else, like she's just in it for the money and make a few of the guys unattractive to see if she'd ever say, he might have a billion dollars, but I'm not attracted to him because I don't think that matters. I might. I might make some calls today.

[Brett Vesely]

Or the next coach of the Cardinals higher. You know, things like that.

[Brady]

It would be that, yeah, but it would be like this. Just a dude who's like. And then you find out it's like a dude with like a half an arm, you know, and she's got to be extra nice to him. It's like she didn't care that he had half an arm. Like she's after the money and the money only. It'd be a good show. It'd be a great show. Anyway, enjoy. Barrett Jackson, BJ Parking signs are up and they're very funny. Every year they have hats there that say B Jack. It's too close to and there's no K. It's Jac. You didn't buy one. Your hat looks like it says E Jack on it.

[Brett Vesely]

Should have bought one.

[Brady]

I almost did, but it was like, that's dumb. B Jack hats. I don't want that.

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[Brady]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And I saw this as well. This is gross. And there's a. They say this is going to be a trend for women who can't get men. It's called fabbing. Have you heard of fabbing?

[Byron]

No. I got two other trends today, too.

[Brady]

So they're not fabbing. So ladies. Ladies who are, like, trying to find a guy, and they're like, I don't know what's going on. Some woman who's into. Yeah. Try to guess what vabbing is. It says they're trying to say that maybe it's, you know, they're. They're not. They're not putting out the right chemical or pheromone. So it's a so fabbing scent vibe. I don't know any guess. Brett got a guess on what women are doing fabbing?

[Brett Vesely]

No, because I can't say it on the air.

[Brady]

I think you can.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, probably not.

[Brady]

What were you gonna.

[Thriller]

What?

[Brady]

I mean, give me a.

[Brett Vesely]

Has something to do with the lower regions.

[Brady]

The clam. It's the medical term you're looking for. Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not what I was going to.

[Brady]

Say, but you know the vagina, Right?

[Brett Vesely]

There you go.

[Brady]

Yes, yes. And.

[Byron]

I'm saying and. Okay, go ahead.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm just saying, like, trying to tighten it up.

[Brady]

Okay. Tightening.

[Byron]

Beautifying it.

[Brady]

Beautifying the vagina.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I would say that, too. Yeah.

[Brady]

Make it tighter.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Incorrect.

[Byron]

Although vocal.

[Brett Vesely]

Whoa.

[Brady]

You're singing teacher to sing. No, not Copenhagen. Down there. I'll tell you right now, if that thing starts singing, I eat, count, or whistle. I'm taking you out like that frog on the wb.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm taking the Star Search. Let's do this.

[Brady]

Watch this, everybody. I could pull her pants down. Vabbing. For lack of a better way to describe it. And again, I'm not a doctor but I will be as classy as I can. When her sneezes into her underpants, she takes that and dabs it on her wrists and neck.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll just kill yourself.

[Brady]

Yeah. So she thinks that the scent. I'll read it. As it says in a news article. It's essentially the act of taking vaginal discharge and dabbing it in certain areas of the body where you would normally put perfume or fragrance.

[Brett Vesely]

What a pig.

[Brady]

The neck, wrists and behind the ears.

[Byron]

Some girls would have the wet look the whole time.

[Brady]

Some of them are just got cats.

[Brett Vesely]

Following them around when they walk in the room.

[Brady]

Little cats. I don't know. Ever since I started vabbing I've got a lot of cats. Anyway, I can't get me.

[Byron]

Can I borrow some?

[Brady]

Hang on. The thought that is that will attract a partner. The idea that the fluid supposedly contain pheromones that push out. But aren't you already pushing those out? If you've got.

[Byron]

I think so.

[Brady]

If you've got that loaded right in the middle. Pheromones. You can't smell that dough and heat is already. Yeah, you don't need that up on your neck.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't smell like a can of Star Kiss.

[Brady]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Byron]

I'm out.

[Brady]

I seem to be attracting a lot of cats.

[Byron]

Last call at Title nine would just be crazy.

[Brady]

You might get a guy from Chula Seafood to follow you around for a little long. I don't know if it's me or you, but what are you thinking? Yeah. Puppies and cats, they're gonna love you. But no man, you know what it was? I don't know. I just went to kiss her neck and smells like it was amazing. I don't want to smell it. If it has a scent, it's gone too far. I want you to wash. But that's the thing that they're telling her. It says the one girl's like I swear if you vab you will attract men. One night stands, dates. You are going to get free drinks all night. And people do say it works at.

[Brett Vesely]

2Am so these hip ads for like.

[Byron]

Now it's going to be slightly modified Axe wound body spray.

[Brady]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Ax wounds the wound. That's exactly right. Well done, Brady. This lady says the best way to do it is to get in there on your fingers and rub it all over your neck. She said I rub it on my body and people can smell my pheromones. A woman's health specialist. Her name is Hannah Patel. Patel previously warned against trying to vab as could pose a risk to your health. Potential to get an infection is a lot higher. All bacteria and fungus. This lady that's addicted to it in the article says that when the date's going well or she sees a guy she likes, she goes and reapplies in the bathroom. I know, I know. You know how easy it is to get a guy. Why are you doing this? It's just.

[Guest]

Talk to us.

[Brett Vesely]

Are these hot chicks, though, or are these pigs?

[Brady]

Well, I didn't see any pictures.

[Byron]

I wonder if someone that works. I wonder if fudging would work.

[Brady]

Oh, come on.

[Byron]

Thank you.

[Brady]

Maybe the gay bars. That's not a bad idea. He smells like I love him. Yeah, Fabbing.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine the aroma title.

[Guest]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

Well, it's already bad.

[Brett Vesely]

It'd be worse, though.

[Brady]

Yeah. The inside of the forester, so to speak. Get a couple fingers in that forester and the next thing you know. Well, that's a new thing, but again, cedar. And you know what I hate, though? I hate that women. I hate that women think it's hard to get a guy. Like they're struggling. Walk up to the guy you like and just go, huh, what do you think? Just give us a wink or a hello?

[Brett Vesely]

Depends on what they look like. That's what I was asking.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If you're a pig and you're covered in your own juice. Yeah, you weren't doing too well in the first place. If that wins me over, like some sort of Batman spray, like a thousand pound sister.

[Byron]

Vabbing.

[Brady]

Oh, God. Oh, man. What'd you do that for? I need every dragon. You bring her into this.

[Brett Vesely]

It worked for Gary Payton.

[Guest]

That is true.

[Brady]

The dude.

[Guest]

That is true.

[Brady]

Gary Payton was interested. And here's how the doctor described it.

[Commercial Announcer]

I've had green pus, yellow pus, brown.

[Brady]

Pus, pus mixed with blood.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm going to bear Jackson.

[Brady]

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. That was Dr. Pimple Pop. Right. Apologist. What's it feel like when you put it on your neck? They burn. They drain. They have an odor. Yep, that's right. Anyway, vabbing with a V. Not like dabbing like Cam Newton used to do in the ends of. It's gross. But yeah, I. I don't think I would be like, I'm not attracted to her, but. Oh, I don't know what it is, but I'm magically attracted to, like, the floating dog in the cartoon towards the pie on the windowsill. It's gross. But it's not hard for women to get guys. It just isn't the fact you're. If you're doing that, how hideous are you? Or how desperate must you be when there's dudes out there that like, just walk up to Larry and say, hi, I find you interesting. And it's on.

[Brett Vesely]

You have to go to his house.

[Brady]

But, oh, yeah, they're gonna knock on his door. But if you're. Hey, look, if you're jabbing fingers in your body to try to get. Just go to Larry's house. We'll give you the address. Larry's like, I can't. I can't explain. All these smelly girls are just pounding on my door. Yuck. To all of you that think that's a thing, but it's a thing. I was like, this is a joke. And then they like a couple articles about it. So gross. So gross. But that's the world we live in today.

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[Brady]

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[Byron]

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[Byron]

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[Brady]

Ness. Brady, you this. We missed this. You being a guy who loves restaurants. Me being a guy who loves serial killer stories. Missed out on the the nation's fascination with true crime. The guy in Ohio has opened the greatest idea for a restaurant ever. We probably talked about this years ago. It's called Last Meal. The menu are serial killers, death row guys. Last meals, you order. You get the John Wayne Gacy, you get the. The Ted Bundy, you get dudes who have been executed. Last Meal, it's in. Where is. What's it called? Gallon, Ohio. Is that right? Gallon, yeah. Galleon Ohio.

[Byron]

You know where that is in south.

[Brady]

You're just making. I think.

[Byron]

No, I think it's not far from where I went. Ohio University.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's got that. It's called the Final Meal. It's become crazy popular. And you can go in and say, I want the. Like the John Wayne Gacy looks pretty good, actually. It's chicken wings, strawberries. I don't like that. Fried shrimp and french fries. The Ted Bundy was a parmesan steak and loaded steak fries.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

Eileen Wuornos monster. She had a cup of black coffee and a cheeseburger.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't like black coffee? That wouldn't work for you.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you know, I can modify a little. Get some creamer in that. Oh, it's pretty great. Timothy McVeigh, his last thing was two pints of mint chocolate ice cream. If you want some mint chocolate chip ice cream, you get the McVeigh. That's for dessert. Isn't that cool, though? That's a great idea.

[Byron]

It is.

[Brett Vesely]

I want a Bundy.

[Byron]

That.

[Brett Vesely]

That sounds.

[Brady]

Bundy sounds pretty good. A parmesan steak with some loaded steak fries. I think that's a great idea, man.

[Byron]

He's gonna. Maybe not. Pretty simple as far as amount of different items on the menu.

[Brett Vesely]

Those are probably a commonality with a.

[Byron]

Lot of those final meals. Most of them are probably fried chicken.

[Brady]

Almost all dudes. So, yeah, you go chicken meat. Very American fair. I don't think anybody's going to go with, you know, like snails or anything.

[Brett Vesely]

What's the name of the place?

[Brady]

Last Meal. Yeah. Find the find. Find the menu. Yeah, it's called. It is called the Final Meal. I'm sorry. It's called the Final Meal. Galleon, Ohio. And you know, it's kind of a cool thing because as fast and everybody's like, that's weird. The. The top 10 podcasts in the country are all like, murder. Everybody loves murder podcasts. We're all on murder porn. And. And this dude said it. He's. Nate Thompson, is a native of Michigan. He says. I also own the Michigan Museum of Horror. Said I always thought it would be unique to have a restaurant where you could eat the same last Meals that executed criminals had. The last meal is going to be not only in Ohio soon. I'm going to get it up to Michigan and try to get out. We should franchise one of these and bring it here.

[Guest]

Let's call them.

[Brady]

We should. I would do that in a second. Get a free. Free push on that. It's a great idea if you can get good chefs and stuff. The last meal, awesome.

[Byron]

Kind of like, you know, it's kind of cool. When it came out years ago, was that 19 crimes wine where it have the.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Byron]

On there. And you'd actually scan it. It would tell you.

[Brady]

Tell you what it was. Yeah. Said if you want a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and a bottle of Coke, that's the Timothy McVeigh. The Carol Chessman is named after the kidnapper, robber and serial rapist. You're gonna get. Oh, no. McVeigh was the mint chocolate ice cream. That was the Carol Chessman was the. The toasted ham and cheese sandwich. That's not asking for much. Yeah. They have Helter Skelter seltzer for Charles Manson. They made their own drinks. That's a great idea. Is that it? Yeah. What's the Elizabeth Ann Duncan? Oh, my gosh, they got a lot of good.

[Brett Vesely]

Elizabeth Ann Duncan is an 8 ounce sirloin steak and a salad.

[Brady]

Mostly steaks.

[Byron]

I would think. Like steaks.

[Brady]

I think you can pick and choose too. You like. You go through and find your. Your executed killer and say, this stays in. Stays in.

[Brett Vesely]

Our deal.

[Brady]

What do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

The Stanley Tookie Williams, which was the leader of the Crips.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Bowl of brown sugar, oatmeal and a glass of milk. Add crip berries for an extra $2.

[Brady]

See? Clever. The last meal is fantastic.

[Byron]

Thelma Barfield. Barfield. Bowl of cheese puffs.

[Brady]

She just had a bowl of cheese puffs. What's that run you? That's 8.99. That's not bad. That's a reasonable little snack for lunch.

[Brett Vesely]

And how about the Charles chips?

[Brady]

Charlie Chips. Charles Manson chips. What are they loaded? Chicken nachos.

[Brett Vesely]

Shredded lemon chicken.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Inspired by the Spawn Ranch, using ingredients that were popular in the local area.

[Brady]

How about that? See the last meal. What's the Black Dahlia murder?

[Brett Vesely]

That is pomegranate juice, lime juice, lemon juice, tonic water, muddled blackberries and blueberry garnish.

[Brady]

That's the drinks.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Burn Bundy Burn.

[Brett Vesely]

Chilled shot of spicy Watermen, watermelon, Tajin lemon, lime or lime juice with a pepper garnish. There's no booze in there.

[Brady]

Helter Seltzer. This is a great idea. We're gonna make a call and bring that in here. This guy says I got a new conspiracy for you. Timothy McVeigh is still alive. Look up FBI agent Paul Weissapal. Timothy McVeigh conspiracy. I don't want to get into that. I got enough on my mind. As long as he stays calm. As long as he stays calm. I don't care if McVeigh is still alive. I look they let him out and we are finding out the weird way. That's okay. Scott Haynes brings up can you. Can you get the last meals that we know about from the victims too like the JonBenet the bowl of pineapple and milk that's on the kids menu. Maybe we'll get the the last victims. I like that. The JonBenet is solid morning sickness disgusting.

[Commercial Announcer]

They smell their sick sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness also this is another thing that I've seen in my. In my dire yesterday my morning of I saw that the AI has now solved the problem for assisted suicide. It turns itself on and on. There is no human interaction. It knows how to so now AI take a break. AI knows that if the suicide pod has weight in will then commence with verbal commands. Say are you ready? I will. I will begin the process. So you don't have to have a person program it or turn it on or anything else. You just have to buy a suicide pod.

[Brett Vesely]

It's got no emotion.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It doesn't care and it's got a job. The new suicide pod inventor now says the AI powered feature will allow couples to do it simultaneously.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh it's Romeo.

[Brady]

So yeah yeah. You and your wife can climb in there and die together. It's a bill.

[Brett Vesely]

They would only would have had that.

[Brady]

I know Heywood had to go off and shoot.

[Byron]

What are those running?

[Brady]

Oh Brady, I'm not going to tell you that was a weird question. But you can print. It's a 3D printed suicide pot. So you just get a 3D printer and some of the materials it'll print it up for you and then it releases nitrogen and 64 year old woman used it in Switzerland and then turned into this thing where they're like is that murder? Like nobody did it. Like it's. It's different when somebody connects it all but you built it yourself.

[Byron]

You created it.

[Brady]

It's truly a suicide machine. And then AI says all right, whenever you're ready let me know. There's no humans. So these. This guy that invented the AI model says if you want, couples can do it. I'm not suggesting to kill yourself, but some people are not going to be happy without their partner. Or do you?

[Byron]

You picked, obviously pick the voice right on the command.

[Brady]

Sure. You'd probably go with the British guy to keep it classy.

[Guest]

Hello.

[Brady]

And it's not, we're going to kill ourselves today. That's wonderful. If you just climb into the pot. Is your wife going to be joining you? Is this a solo adventure?

[Guest]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Brady]

Yeah. No, that's not. AI. No.

[Brett Vesely]

I would push the button myself.

[Brady]

I'm good. No one ever chooses Indian as their AI voice.

[Brett Vesely]

Kevin from Discover Card.

[Byron]

I'm just.

[Brady]

You're not.

[Brett Vesely]

No need.

[Brady]

I'll tell you myself, you're not suicidal if you're still funny enough to throw. AI Indiana. I didn't think I can help you with today, my friend. I was just curious. Hey, how old is Tom Petty?

[Guest]

Whoa.

[Brady]

American singer songwriter Tom Petty is 74. He has passed away, however, I had to break it to you when he died. He was 66. Are we all done or do you have more questions for me? Turn on the suicide machine, Patel.

[Byron]

Thanks, Kevin.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that would be the last thing you hear too.

[Brady]

The last one. I'd be laughing. I'd be in the suicide. I'd be sucking in that nitrogen. Well, hopefully you are breathing the last of your good breasts, my friend. Thanks, Kevin. You are awfully happy for a man dying now. It's you. That's you brother.

[Brett Vesely]

And it would smell like curry. The gas.

[Brady]

Oh, no, he's not real. He doesn't smell. Stink. Doesn't AI stink? Yeah, it does. Yes. Don't even say they all smell. Even the AI.

[Brett Vesely]

Death by curry.

[Brady]

No, no, no. AI Kevin from India doesn't stink like his foods, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, what kind of aroma is coming into that death chamber?

[Brady]

Nitrogen. He's not real. You don't get his body odor. No, I think authentic. Might as well a guy from Bhopal. But I do like that. If your AI guy had that. You're not suicidal. You're just your friends. What are we doing now? I need directions to Barrett Jackson. Oh, we are far from that, my friend. Morning sickness.

[Commercial Announcer]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible.

[Brady]

Morning sickness. And off of that lovely letter, this one starts off. Hey, dickhead.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. All right.

[Brady]

I listen on the podcast. I don't listen live anymore. QT bathrooms are so busy. We talked about this a couple days ago. Said because of people who work outside, like myself, we don't have anywhere to go. Landscapers, mail carriers. That's me. Anyone who doesn't have a bathroom nearby has to use the qt and it's a very public available bathroom. Large circle Ks offer bathrooms to the public and they're okay too. Everything else is a risk though. Not everyone has a golden asshole like you.

[Brett Vesely]

Take notes and learn.

[Brady]

Can we. Can we change my nickname from the Jew cuck liberal Howard Stern wannabe to golden Asshole? I would the golden asshole T shirts 25 years. It's what we're kind of the silver really this year but come on. If I could get known as the golden of Phoenix, I that I might start crying the name of your bar. I personally have medical reasons when I need to go and I need to go right now. P.S. love the show. I've listened for. I even listened 6 years when I moved away and then I came back. Matt A the golden asshole is all I got out of this. I don't care where you take the dumps, Matt. But first off, I pretty much will read every email that starts, hey, that's just human nature. Where's this going? So you got me with your. I believe that's called the salut. No. Is that the greeting salutations at the end? Yeah, the greeting. Hey, dickhead. All right.

[Byron]

Attention getting.

[Brady]

I gotta read this wasn't even the subject line. Subject line was QT crappers only didn't say it as classy.

[Guest]

That.

[Brady]

So? Yeah, Golden. I like that. I am Phoenix's golden. And I do have a golden. I can clinch it up during the day. I just had. I'm on prednisone self prescribed.

[Brett Vesely]

Does that make you go?

[Brady]

Makes you poop like a goose.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Brady]

I was in the bathroom just a second ago. Cuz I sit to pee. Keep it classy. And I was like, oh, we almost had Johnny. Had to almost go over to the rental house, take a shower. It was close.

[Brett Vesely]

We got the shower downstairs.

[Brady]

Not using it.

[Byron]

Ice cold.

[Brady]

Not using it next commercial break. If that were to have happened. But I was like, you know what? I locked it down. I locked it down. I sent it north. Because you can do that. Do you ever have that moment where it's like now, now. And you go. And you feel it go.

[Guest]

Nope, nope.

[Brady]

We retreat and it runs backwards. I did that and I feel fine. Mind over fecal matter. It's a thing. So yes, the golden has spoken. And you guys just work harder on your butts. Kegel. Strength.

[Brett Vesely]

John. Don't walk around the Roosevelt District with that nickname. All right, it's gonna change.

[Brady]

It's gonna be. I need you to be quiet in certain neighborhoods calling me that. There goes the golden lamb of God. Yeah, I like that. I like that.

[Byron]

I'd be careful wearing that shirt.

[Brady]

The golden. It depends on where I'm walking around. Not going to do it in my C. That's for sure. Michael and Troy start seeing that competition, and then you start getting into that golden brown, the G. GA brand. You like hash browns?

[Byron]

What's the ga.

[Brady]

It's my golden. It's. It's manick. I earned it. Yes. And don't yell at me anymore about having a really powerfully controlled anus like some of you guys don't. I work outside. I gotta drop deuces all day. And then you gotta. You got the Crohn's disease or whatever, sack it up. I don't know how it works, but watch what you eat, you know? Crohn's disease. I don't think you're supposed to go guzzling milk and coffee, but you probably do. It's your fault. The golden asshole and I, we have an agreement. My asshole says, hey, it's like the end of top Gun. I got your back. That's basically what he says. You could be my wing anytime. And we have an agreement. He's never gonna let me down. I'm never gonna let him down. I'm not gonna eat food that makes the golden asshole say, hey, what are you doing to me, man? I've been good to you. I'm gonna be smart about it. I don't eat chili. Yeah, I'm more of a. I don't eat curry. You and your asshole don't have a good relationship. You've abused it. You put things and make him work harder, and then he's just.

[Byron]

It's on me. I know.

[Brady]

And then he's got a slack jaw, and the next time he's got. I can't clinch it up, man. You just keep powering through with fire drinks. Really? All those jalapenos fired. Really? Really for me. Okay, well, next time, you are not gonna be able to clench me up because I'm still breathing too hard. They're making me climb stairs as my golden asshole understands it. The golden sphincter is another one if you want to keep it. The golden cinnamon ring. I like what you people are doing. I have golden assholes. Golden assholes. Homeburg's morning sickness.

[Commercial Announcer]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[Brady]

UPD Holmberg's morning sickness. Listen to this one. You're gonna like this. This email I got on Wednesday, before I started to die, saved says Holmberg Emergency. You know who I think of when I hear that word now? Gracie Higgins. Emergency. Emergency. Paging Dr. Beats. That girl. That AI girl that dances.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Brady]

Yeah. Gotta watch her. Says emergency. In a horrible twist of all things awful. My world is now in turmoil and I need you. My wife and I were at dinner. My side piece walked in, went right by our table. I thought she'd be discreet. She wasn't. She stopped, says hello. I introduced them. Then the side piece's husband and son comes by. And my wife says, why don't you join us? Oh, she's one of those people.

[Byron]

Good times.

[Brady]

I started sweating so hard. By the way, the husband is awesome. Anyway, just found out that the wife exchanged numbers with her and we're supposed to go out as Couples night on Saturday. My wife really likes her. She says she feels like she knows her. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Says, oh, man, this can't end well, can it? What would you guys do? Brian, Scott, Todd, Gary. All fake names.

[Brett Vesely]

Call Kevin.

[Brady]

Maybe it works.

[Brett Vesely]

Get in that booth. Smell like curry.

[Brady]

In the suicide pod. It's over.

[Brett Vesely]

You're done.

[Brady]

Do they have a four man suicide pod? You're done. I need more. When she walked by to say hi, how did you act? Like.

[Thriller]

What did you say?

[Brady]

How do you know?

[Byron]

Friendship builds, and now you're.

[Brady]

They're going to be pals.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Maybe it gets so low that radar can't detect. No, no, not with broads. That's true. Maybe I'm just trying to. Positive. I'm trying to. There is no positive. Maybe this goes to a certain level where they get to be like, okay with the idea of the whole thing, but you're gonna have to nail that husband. Or hers. And then you start swinging.

[Byron]

When I was in high school, they were neighbors and the. The couples hung out and they end up changing.

[Brady]

They swapped out.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The wife with the husband. The husband with the wife.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Brady]

Still there.

[Byron]

Still there. And the. And they had. Both of them had kids. They were right around my age.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Byron]

And now their stepbrothers. What is the house next door?

[Brady]

What's with the side piece popping by the table?

[Brett Vesely]

You know she's a psycho if she's doing that.

[Brady]

Exactly.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Byron]

That's.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

Didn't you see Fatal Attraction? Go rent Fatal Attraction. It's an older movie now, but Go rent Fatal Attraction. There's no worse Scene than Ann Archer at that table with Glenn Close. And. And Michael Douglas walks in and she's in the house and she just looks back. Hello, Dan. It's like. Oh, my God. Psycho.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, like in. In Sopranos, when Gloria gives Carmela a ride home.

[Brady]

Drove her home. Yeah. And they liked each other. Oh, you're cooked. You're cooked. There's a whole myriad of reasons that this shouldn't have happened, but here we are. I gotta. Look, if you guys had dinner together and you ended up liking the husband, Are you gonna pal around? You golf with a. With. He's gonna end up. I'm. I'm. You know what? I'm just gonna call Keith Morrison now. Because you guys are a Dateline special. Just. It's the. It's the prequel. And then they had a nice dinner together. Or did they? They really seem to hit it off. And that's when Doug said we should try something new. And the wheels came off. Ever see a car potential Griff too. She gonna start getting it for cash. I'll tell her otherwise. Now what would you do? Jesus Christ. You pay her. You pay her. You pay everything.

[Brett Vesely]

You're paying one way or another.

[Brady]

You ever seen a car with loose lug nuts? If you've ever seen a car drive around with loose lug nuts, that's this guy's life. Gary, Todd, Scott, John, Jeff. You have loose lug nuts, and that doesn't lead to tightening. You know what never happens? Lug nuts never start twisting back on. You gotta tighten this ship up. Brady's, right? Yeah. We might get a call. So I need money. I don't know. What are you calling me for? Well, it's either give it to me or her, because she's about to. Okay, how much? I don't need money.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I'll just call your wife for it.

[Brady]

She's a psycho.

[Byron]

You find out that they're both in, it's over. The husband.

[Brady]

Oh, no. That's been on a dateline special. No, that. That couples target a dude with money and get. And then seduce them. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, remember for a while there, there was that letter that was going around, that email to people and they got a couple of athletes and the one pitcher for the A's or something was like, hey, I just got hit with this. It's a scam. But it was asking dudes for 10 grand. I know what you're doing. And it was really kind of ambiguous because I know what you're doing. And a couple people paid and they paid and they Would send money to this guy. Send it right now and I won't say a word. I'm going to keep this under wraps. But I know exactly what you're doing. I know where you were, I know who you're doing it with. And dudes who were guilty would be like, oh, no. And they were whoever the scam was making money. And then that baseball player was like, hey, this is a thing. Oh, scary.

[Brett Vesely]

Game over, bro.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

It says yeah, Brett, you'll appreciate this. Steve Greenmire says tell dude he needs to talk the side chick down and have her back off. Like Ginger backed off Nikki in casino. She started to talk about Talon and it was over. Tell that guy to cash out his 401k, fake his own death and get out of this country because he's about to lose everything.

[Thriller]

Man.

[Brady]

Yeah, the guy said not many things sound older than when you just said rent that movie. Well, you could still rent movies. You're the old one for thinking I miss videotape. That's all you do is Blockbuster.

[Brett Vesely]

You can get it on Amazon.

[Brady]

Rent movies. Beerus, you're the old one for thinking I meant vcrs.

[Brett Vesely]

Billy brings up good point. No way the wife inside piece planned this out. They met there on purpose. It's a trap.

[Byron]

Oh yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh man.

[Brady]

You can't help magic. It's a trap.

[Byron]

Got caught in the sting.

[Brady]

Oh my God. Yeah, but then they like. Did they sit and talk after? I can't believe that. That though that idiot just sat there and acted like everything was fine. I know. Now he's friends with my husband. It's a trap. I don't know what you do. Gary. Scott. Todd, John, Jeff. Fake name. Thanks for including us in the mix. Now I feel like an accomplice. I had nothing to do with this.

[Byron]

Start the Venmo.

[Brady]

I'm innocent. Why do I feel like I have to start? I didn't do anything. I'm not even in this and I'm screaming like I didn't do anything. I did nothing here. I'm good not dealing with this. So John, what if that guy is listening right now? That's a. He doesn't know that. Well, geez, I may be. If you recently. If you're a dude listening and you recently just sat down with some strangers at a restaurant because your wife went over to talk to him and you're friends with him now. Yeah, that dude. That dude.

[Byron]

Just give me a couple of phone calls.

[Brady]

Oh, just your wife like crazy. What is she doing? She's with her Husband and her son drags him over to the table.

[Brett Vesely]

Marcus. Not our Marcus. But maybe the wife has buy interest and this might turn into a swinger thing.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, that's you. Hope so.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Morning sickness.

[Commercial Announcer]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Byron]

The authorities in upstate New York are currently searching for a man who skipped a court appearance earlier this week. They looked at a tracking the tracking data from his GPS ankle monitor realized he apparently cut it off and attached it to a dog.

[Brady]

Oh, geez.

[Byron]

Future's name is Lamont Holmes. It's supposed to be. I knew.

[Brady]

Come on. It doesn't mean anything, Brad. Okay, sure.

[Byron]

Let's see.

[Brady]

Do we have a picture.

[Byron]

He'S in court for?

[Brady]

He gets too excited over these things.

[Guest]

You dummy.

[Brady]

Put it on the dog. Dummy. I see the month. Put it on the dog. See, Pop, I gotta get out of here sometime and I can't leave with this ankle. Lamont, put that stupid ankle bracelet on the dog. Damn it. That's a great idea, Pop. Sanford and Son fans loving every second of this timely reference.

[FanDuel Announcer]

That is a solid Lamont.

[Brady]

Thank you. I do a good Lamont. Listen up, Pop. Lamont, you big dummy. You got yourself a egg breath in the first place. We need a dog, Pop.

[Byron]

We got another per James Duncan. He's in trouble for doing upskirt shots. He's filming with his phone in Church.

[Brady]

Oops.

[Byron]

21 year old kids looking at a couple of years. They got his phone and everything. That's the dude.

[Brady]

Oh, that's Lamont Holmes. No, that's not Lamont.

[Guest]

Come on.

[Brady]

Brett's offended. That looks like Brady's neighbor.

[Guest]

That's right.

[Brady]

I am offended. Yeah, I. I want to see a picture of Lamont Holmes immediately. Like just Google Lamont Holmes and see if, see if there's anybody who shouldn't be there.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. It's gonna be like suspicious which one doesn't belong.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're gonna see them.

[Brett Vesely]

Like that one cop.

[Brady]

That one guy. Wait a minute. That's not right. There's no Lamont Holmes.

[Byron]

We got a 24 year old guy in Missouri facing charges after he sold the same two cars multiple times. He'd sell them to the person and then immediately steal it back. Oh, his name is Mamadou Diallo. Cops in Kansas City said.

[Brett Vesely]

Google that one.

[Byron]

Yeah, that between May and June of last year, he sold the car. Sold two cars. At least eight different to eight different people. 2013 Honda Civic and a 2013 Buick Verano. The cops Caught him after they got the eight different stolen vehicles. Report very similar. But this lady saw the car that.

[Brady]

She bought relisted on like, oh, geez. So she saw it immediately.

[Byron]

She set up another thing, stung him, and he didn't realize that she was the first one that popped.

[Brady]

Brady.

[Guest]

Look at these.

[Brady]

Look at the screen. First one search of Lamont 13th Inn is a marine named Lamont Holmes. And he's white, which I would have lost that bet, by the way.

[FanDuel Announcer]

These are all different Lamont homes.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. Not one. Not one duplicate. Nailed it. Yeah, the one marine one looks like C.J.

[FanDuel Announcer]

Stroud.

[Brady]

I mean, Lamont Holmes is not a name that Brady's neighbors give each other. Like there was Lamar Hoyt, the former pitcher for the White Sox. That sounded either hillbilly, like you give that one.

[Brett Vesely]

Hillbilly.

[Brady]

Yeah, very hillbilly.

[Byron]

If Kirby was a boy, that one of the names were Lamont Bogan with Lamont.

[Brady]

One of them you're gonna go with? Yeah. Well, why don't you just call her that? Anyway, she could have done both.

[Brett Vesely]

Go through the Gilbert White pages. There's not one.

[Brady]

No, no. Yeah, and if you. We're calling that guy.

[FanDuel Announcer]

Lamont Monty Home.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the dog.

[Byron]

That's the dog.

[Brady]

Yeah. The dog's name's Lamont. The guy's name is Monty Holmes. That picture had a Rottweiler in it. That dog's the Rottweiler's name's Lamont. I'm Maddie Holmes. This is my dog, Lamont. All right, get off that page. What are you gonna.

[Commercial Announcer]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[Brady]

Morning sickness, genius.

[Guest]

You want to go places when you do play, when you go places like that, people gotta remember you.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Guest]

They gotta remember you even if your ass don't remember them. You know what I'm saying? You know how many times people. Man, so many times people come up to me like, hey. I'm like, hey, who the hell are you? Is this guy hugging me? I'm like, oh, man, it's been a long time.

[Brady]

Yeah. I always remember when, just like you.

[Byron]

Did this morning, you came in.

[Guest]

You gotta do that, Own the room. Gotta do that. You own the room.

[Brady]

We'll never forget you were here that one time a long time ago. Your phone rang and one of your. It was your brother, your brother called and he was ordering a bunch of chickens for a picnic, and it was a great line on your tab. I can't be in a room with this many bald headed white men talking about ordering Chickens.

[Guest]

Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that to me right now.

[Brady]

It was great. Now let's talk about Leon Black from Curb youb Enthusiasm. Because it is without question one of the funniest people that's ever been on a television screen. And I know the curbs over. Yeah, but why can't Leon have a spin off? Why can't Leon do more stuff? I want more. Leon. My friend named his dog after Leon.

[Guest]

You know what?

[Brady]

Big Mastiff.

[Guest]

As awesome as it would be in this world of acting and entertaining people, sometimes you get. You get stuck in places like that sometimes. Or you feel like, oh, man. Or they feel like you can't do anything else but that character.

[Thriller]

So what?

[Guest]

So what?

[Brady]

Just keep winning.

[Guest]

You just got to find the right.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

He need the right vehicle to drive.

[Brady]

Yeah. What else do you want to do? Why would you, why would you want to leave Leon in the past, man?

[Guest]

So many things that I do that I do.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

A lot of times I don't say stuff that I do. You know, of course I do a lot of VO work. Voiceover.

[Brady]

Tons.

[Guest]

Lot of, lot of series. And that's always fun to do.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

But I'm also a business person too.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

We started our own production company. We started our own ad agency. See, this is crazy because I've done so many. I've been a spokesperson so many times. I mean like 25, 30 times I've done commercials. I've done. I mean, I've been spokesperson for numerous products.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

And big two year campaigns.

[Thriller]

Yeah.

[Guest]

White Claw, Caesars. Man.

[Brady]

Consumer Cellular. I was wrong about which one.

[Guest]

It is a bunch of that stuff that I kind of know the world. Yeah. So my partner Miles, he's here also. We, man, we just, we just found these little lanes where we can do what we know about.

[Byron]

And so your agency, the ad agency is actually doing like creative and stuff.

[Guest]

Everything we all, we in house, everything. We do everything. Write it, produce it, shoot it. We do everything, man. And this is literally from somebody who has sat on a set punching up writing.

[Brady]

Yeah. Writing, Done the job.

[Guest]

Commercials.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Guest]

And. And a lot of times it's like one of those things they get you because you allowed to come in there and you can craft it and make it funny because there is something to comedic timing for sure. Even on a 30 second spot. It's really, it's really a fine tuning.

[Byron]

It's amazing what you can do.

[Guest]

Yeah, man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

You capture people. You, you catch them and you Release them. That's all it is. It's really just sell the product, get the hook in. Yeah.

[Brady]

Open the door and let them do the work.

[Guest]

You know, all that stuff plays a big part in how you sell. I'm a natural salesman. Right.

[Brady]

What would you do?

[Guest]

You know, I used to sell fire extinguishers door to door.

[Brady]

What did you do?

[Guest]

I sold fire extinguishers.

[Brady]

Fire extinguishers.

[Guest]

What was the brand?

[Brady]

There's a brand? Yeah.

[Guest]

Safety First. It was called Safety First.

[Brady]

And you walked around with fire extinguishers.

[Guest]

Man, I used to sell fire extinguishers door to door.

[Brady]

Tell me.

[Guest]

My job was to scare the hell out of you.

[Brady]

I was going to burn down.

[Byron]

You just don't know.

[Guest]

You knock on the door, they open the door. You know, they crack the door open. Hello. And you put your foot in the. In the threshold so they can't close it.

[Brady]

That's illegal.

[Guest]

First thing you do.

[Brady]

That's a great, horrifying.

[Guest]

Put your foot right there.

[Brady]

That's called home invasion.

[Guest]

But just. Just a foot. Just a foot.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

You lean over a little bit. You see what's going on in the house. Get a crack. Hello. Hello, ma'.

[Brady]

Am.

[Guest]

I see you have young. I see toys on the. On the. On the carpet. I see you must have children. I see a grandpa back there in the wheelchair. You know, you just scare the hell out of them.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

You know, are you guys prepared in case you did have a fire, A grease fire, and then that's how I would get.

[Brady]

And were you good at it? You scared them?

[Guest]

No, I don't have one. You don't have one now? You know, I'll do like comps in the neighborhood, you know, just like a realtor does.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

A month ago at the so and so residence.

[Byron]

4.

[Brady]

You bring up fires close by.

[Guest]

Man, you got to scare the hell out of people. You scare the hell out of them that you plow. So you can scare them. So you can scare the money into you. Yeah, that's how you do it.

[Brady]

How much was a fire extinguisher? Door to door. Like, if you were to sell me. How. What would it cost me?

[Guest]

I would say there's a couple different models. You needed one for the garage.

[Brady]

You need like a bunch of car stuff.

[Guest]

You need one in the kitchen.

[Brady]

And bulk pricing.

[Guest]

You need. I will get. I would. Three would be the top three. Three, kitchen, garage. Yeah, man. When you don't have it, you'd be surprised what you try to use to put it out by that time.

[Brady]

It's, it's over.

[Guest]

It's over.

[Brady]

So you get. Yeah, you. I'm thinking about it now. You weren't even trying to sell me one. I don't know if I have one.

[Guest]

I still got it. I don't. I still got it.

[Brady]

I don't even know if I have. I got.

[Byron]

I got one in the garage.

[Brady]

Do you? Yeah. I might have to borrow that.

[Guest]

You need it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

I'm telling you, you'd be surprised.

[Brady]

And you follow up later to make sure that the fire extinguishers are still good.

[Byron]

Code.

[Brady]

They're on the.

[Guest]

Tell them everything. They gotta be charged, remain charged up. You gotta check it. It's like, it's like changing. When you change your smoke alarm, the smoke alarm, you check your thing and make sure everything is good. Yeah, but, but, but these are just. These are minor talents that I have. Just little talents.

[Brady]

See that we've got that problem.

[Guest]

Play a big part in communicating with people is what comedians do. Communicate with people and tap into their needs.

[Brady]

How did you get into selling fire extinguishers? Who, who's one of like JB's?

[Guest]

I've had some unique jobs.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

I could have been a perfumer. My first job ever at 15 years old. I had an after school job in a perfumery.

[Brady]

What's that? A perfumery? Perfumer. What are you doing making perfume?

[Guest]

I did everything you made. My boss was 75 years old, Italian guy named Ray Morata. Man, he, he, man made his homemade. He must have been four feet, four feet tall, man. But this guy knew, oh, he knew. He knew how to make perfumes, man. He had a nice little company, small. That means I got more attention. I could sit. He sit there and show me how to make perfumes.

[Brady]

Do you still do it? Can you still mix it? You still do it.

[Guest]

Put me in front of those ingredients, man.

[Brady]

We read a story.

[Guest]

We read a story this morning, boy. Let me tell you something. You like woodsy? You like woodsy scents. Put a little woods in that bad boy. Yeah, shake it up a little bit, man. Balance it out, man. Make sure the clarity is there. It's like wine tasting. You know a wine taste.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest]

Do you know the five S's of wine tasting?

[Brady]

Literally? I know.

[Guest]

You see the wine, Stir the wine.

[Brady]

Yeah. Smell it.

[Guest]

Sip the wine.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Or you spit the wine out.

[Brady]

Yeah. See, that's how you do it. Yeah. This is the basics. We did a story this morning about a women. A new habit they're in now. A new trend is called vabbing. Where they take two fingers and they go in and then they put it on their neck like perfume. You don't think that's a good thing? I think it's a good scent.

[Guest]

Look.

[Brady]

Vaginal dabbing is.

[Guest]

It is a aphrodisiac.

[Brady]

That's what they call it, the stink.

[Guest]

Of course you are attracted. You are attracted to the scent.

[Byron]

The pheromones.

[Brady]

The pheromones of the vab.

[Guest]

Of the vab.

[Brady]

No kidding, everybody. If you caught a woman doing that, you'd be all right with it.

[Guest]

Somebody knows certain smells.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

You can walk into a room that just got cleaned up from a murder with bleach and you can smell bacon frying. I'm gonna tell you something. You can smell bacon through bleach. You can put that bleach. You can put that bacon in the bleach. In the bleach container.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Guest]

And still smell like damn bacon. Bacon has a unique smell.

[Brady]

You're comparing vagina to bacon?

[Guest]

That's the only two things you can put on your neck. And. And I'm a vegan talking this. You put the vag on your neck, you put the bacon grease on your neck.

[Brady]

You can have cats and attract the person. Yeah. Morning sickness.

[Commercial Announcer]

Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[Brady]

Homburg's morning sickness. But I got an email from a lady that said she has a neurodivergent daughter.

[Thriller]

22.

[Brady]

Yeah, don't. Don't. Okay, okay. It's getting creepy and she's like, is Thriller taken?

[Thriller]

Oh, I would need more information than just that.

[Brady]

What do you need? You need pictures, photos.

[Thriller]

You know who she is as a person. Not just she's 20 and alive.

[Brady]

She's neurodivergent. What more do you need to know? Very focused.

[Thriller]

Being on the spectrum is your focus, though. You love that stuff.

[Brady]

I do love that stuff. I don't. I mean, I'm not dating somebody on the spectrum. What's wrong with you? She offered up her daughter. I thought it was a nice thing.

[Thriller]

I'd rather the person offer themselves up and not behalf of their parents. Oh, well, then moms do that.

[Brady]

Too shy.

[Thriller]

Oh, too shy.

[Brady]

How can you shy? She's very sweet. Oh, I don't know. You want pictures is what you're doing. Yeah.

[Thriller]

Really? No.

[Brady]

You don't care about pictures. What if she's really hot?

[Thriller]

Good for her.

[Brady]

Oh, man. What were you saying?

[Byron]

Why not?

[Brett Vesely]

Boy, what a picture.

[Brady]

Jesus.

[Thriller]

I want someone to. I want to show agency.

[Brady]

I want to see what she looks like. Too.

[Brett Vesely]

So some pictures of d. Toledo and 98.

[Brady]

She'll send them right back to me. She? Yeah, her name is Randy, if I remember right. I can't remember. What's the email? I just remember getting it and thinking, you know what? I'll ask. She's not like crazy, huh? She's just got a little spectrum thing. She's a little shy. She's like, is Thriller available? Simple question. Is Thriller available?

[Thriller]

I'm available. Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Aren't there?

[Brady]

That's all we needed to know. And what is your type? You like them thick and juicy? Not really. Yeah, a little bit of small.

[Brett Vesely]

Little Asians.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Byron]

It's you chasing some big.

[Brady]

Yeah, you like a. You like a Brady? Brady size? Yeah, I'd be right in your wheelhouse. Had longer hair. Oh, yeah. You put a vagina on that guy.

[Byron]

I'm feeling the energy.

[Brett Vesely]

I can see Cook and everything else. I mean, man, what else can you ask?

[Brady]

Weird wedding picture.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[Thriller]

Wake up the next morning, you see Brady's face.

[Brady]

That's. I'm sorry for that. That wasn't called.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a little too far now.

[Brady]

All right. Anyway, well, I just wanted to put the offer out there. You turned it down. I wasn't expecting that. I thought you'd jump.

[Thriller]

You still send pictures we could see.

[Brady]

All right, so it's more pictures than it is personality.

[Thriller]

Well, you know, both of the pictures is a good start, but we'll start with pictures.

[Brady]

If the pictures are good, you'll go out with her.

[Thriller]

I can't guarantee that.

[Brady]

Why not?

[Byron]

We'll pay for it.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, it's covered.

[Thriller]

I would rather we just meet naturally and not have to get the whole parent.

[Brady]

This is natural. This is not a notebook.

[Brett Vesely]

House?

[Brady]

Yeah. How are you doing on your plan?

[Thriller]

I'm doing fine on the apps. I'm going through them.

[Brady]

All right. That's not natural.

[Byron]

When was the last time?

[Thriller]

It's natural.

[Brady]

It's a little natural, but at this point it's natural.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, this is just as natural as that.

[Brady]

Exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

You're finding somebody you don't know.

[Brady]

Exactly.

[Thriller]

But when you do the services on the apps, though, no one's parents are involved. That's very strange.

[Brady]

I want to cook it. Can I get.

[Thriller]

When you nail her, you can cook. Okay.

[Byron]

I got a question. If you naturally met a girl and you hit it off, what would you do? What would be your first date?

[Thriller]

First date, let's say. Well, you just do like, you know, drinks, like a coffee shop, whatever. Get to know who they are first.

[Guest]

Sure.

[Thriller]

Go for, like, a fancier, you know, dinner for the first real date and then go from there.

[Brady]

She's kind of. Get to know her.

[Thriller]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So you do it.

[Thriller]

Try to weed out the crazy early on.

[Brady]

Right. Like, you do something fun.

[Thriller]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Maybe throw axes or something. Yeah. You shouldn't do that.

[Guest]

No.

[Brady]

Why not? Well, your balance isn't good.

[Thriller]

Well, my arms are fine.

[Brady]

Yeah, but if you go off balance, then your arms are fine. You're throwing it.

[Byron]

I wouldn't do any extremes.

[Brett Vesely]

Like Brady's first pitch.

[Brady]

Yeah, Brady's first pitch. Oh, you want to do a first pitch this year?

[Thriller]

That'd be funny. I wouldn't mind that.

[Brady]

Let's get him out there for a first pitch. Thriller from kupd.

[Thriller]

That'd be very fun.

[Brady]

Oh, all right. We're working on it.

[Thriller]

We'll get that together.

[Brady]

No, he can't throw a rope. Use a rope. Can't throw a rope. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.