01-23-26 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode: FULL SHOW – FRIDAY
Date: January 23, 2026
Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show with John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Special Guest: JB Smoove

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Episode Overview

This fast-paced Friday edition of Holmberg's Morning Sickness blends classic guy talk, local Arizona flavor, pop culture commentary, and strong comedic energy with a healthy helping of irreverence. John shares sick-day guilt stories, the crew dives into auction antics at Barrett-Jackson, debates music lyrics by genre, explores bizarre modern dating and “vabbing” trends, and discusses the new AI-assisted suicide technology. Comedy comes to a peak as guest JB Smoove joins for a wild riff on pheromones, fashion, and loofahs. Interwoven throughout are signature segments like the “Brady Report,” “Science News,” interactive emails, and the delightfully raucous “Guadalupe Squares.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sick Day Guilt & Barrett-Jackson Auction (01:22–15:41)

• Holmberg’s Recovery and Guilt: John describes missing work due to a strep-like illness, guilt over skipping out, and how “callondoc.com” rescued him with a quick prescription. He recounts how, as a kid, he wasn’t allowed to leave the house when sick and still felt under surveillance as an adult.

  • Quote (John, 03:14):
    “If you miss work, you just gotta sit in your stew. I left the house feeling like I was under surveillance... I’m an adult now. I don’t have to worry about that.”

• Barrett-Jackson Recap: The crew attends the iconic auto auction. They swap stories about classic cars, parking-lot guilt, and the weird social scene—part genuine car nuts, part status seekers.

  • Quote (John, 14:41): “Barrett Jackson is now the... see-and-be-seen. Not everybody there is a car person—it's just such a ticket to go.”
  • John and friends consider buying a tacky, 1988 “Excalibur” limousine on impulse. They revel in the camaraderie and nostalgia of 80s car culture.

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2. Music Lyrics by Genre – Surprising Contrasts (21:21–29:03)

• Most-Used Words in Country, Rock, and Rap:

  • Country: “Whiskey, truck, love, mama.”

  • Rock (90s+): “Pain, feel, alone, inside, broken, fear, cry.”

  • Rap: “Yeah” and status/power/money words; discussion about the omission of explicit language by AI.

  • Quote (John, 24:53):
    “Everything’s horrible. Will somebody write a rock song to his girlfriend for Christ’s sake?”

• AI Filters and Cultural Observations:
  The team jokes about AI "being white and scared" to report real rap lyrics frequencies and notes the generational shift from love songs to darker themes.

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3. Modern Social Trends & “Vabbing” (29:26–36:48)

• The “Vabbing” Phenomenon: Discussion erupts over women dabbing their own vaginal secretions onto their body as a supposed dating hack to “unleash pheromones.”

  • Quote (John, 31:43):
    “For lack of a better way to describe it...her sneezes into her underpants, she takes that and dabs it on her wrists and neck.”

  • Jokes fly about desperate dating tactics, potential for attracting cats, and the risks of infection (Brady: 34:03: “What a pig.”).

  • JB Smoove’s later take (123:53):
    “It is a aphrodisiac. Of course you are attracted to the scent, the pheromone.”

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4. Cultural Commentary – Serial Killer Restaurants, AI Suicide Pods, & Social Ethics (39:35–56:59)

• ‘Last Meal’ Serial Killer Restaurant:

  • The team raves about an Ohio restaurant serving death-row inmates’ last meals (“Bundy’s steak and fries,” “McVeigh’s mint chocolate chip ice cream”) and brainstorms branching out with victim meals.
    • Quote (John, 42:29): “They have Helter Skelter Seltzer for Charles Manson...The Last Meal is fantastic.”

• Classic Cars & Future Collectability:
  Nostalgia for old trucks vs. skepticism about today’s vehicles becoming classics.

• AI-Assisted Suicide Pods:
  The show reflects (with gallows humor) on new, fully automated euthanasia pods. They riff on voices (“Pick the voice for your death command!”), the moral-legal implications, and compare to Kevorkian’s era.

  • Quote (John, 51:13):
    “AI knows if the suicide pod has weight in it...You don’t have to have a person program it...It’s truly a suicide machine.”

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5. Relationship Disasters & Listener Emails (63:26–75:10)

• Caught With the Side Chick:
  Hilarious agony as a listener details his affair being outed in public—his wife invites the side piece and her family for a couples’ dinner. Hosts debate swinger vs. con-artist scenarios.

  • Quote (John, 65:30):
    “It’s over. You’re done. Do they have a four-man suicide pod?”
  • Audience emails and dark encouragement flow (“fake your death and leave the country”).

• Gross-Out Gold: The Golden Asshole Segment:
  John celebrates his ironclad butt, “golden asshole,” sparking a slew of defecation anecdotes and emails about public bathrooms, Crohn’s disease, and bowel control.

  • Quote (John, 62:29):
    “It’s my nickname. I earned it—don’t yell at me about my powerfully controlled anus.”

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6. Special Guest: JB Smoove (112:59–141:44)

• Birthday Travels, Worldly Observations:
  JB Smoove discusses celebrating his 60th birthday with trips to Deer Valley, Cabo, Aspen, and more. Talks about embracing travel and style.

• On “Vabbing” and Pheromones:

  • JB earns the room by drawing animal kingdom analogies for pheromones, playfully suggesting bacon grease and “the vag” equally attract men.
  • Quote (JB, 123:53):
    “Of course you are attracted. You are attracted to the scent, the pheromone.”

• Life, Hygiene, and Comedy:
  JB and hosts bond over fancy exfoliating routines, double-rag strategies for cleanliness, and underappreciated powers of the loofah and gloves.

  • Quote (JB, 127:52):
    “Have you used exfoliating gloves? That’s a life Changer...one hand for your ass, one for the face!”

• Fashion Philosophy:
  JB bemoans the loss of everyday style in men, waxes nostalgic for 1940s fashion, and gives John advice on suits and mustaches:

  • Quote (JB, 134:28):
    “Everything’s built around the shoes...You always gotta have a little conversation piece, you know, something in your pocket.”

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7. More Signature Segments (85:16–110:08 and throughout)

• Brady Report: Odd news, random facts (“British Army enlisted 500K cats in WWI”), pie debates, and science tidbits.
• Science News: Advancement in joint regeneration, astronaut pregnancy rumors, gigantic ancient kangaroos, and AI’s creative limits.
• Brady Videos: A parade of increasingly outlandish and gross viral videos, capped with a wild, NSFW milk-and-butt theme.
• Guadalupe Squares: Improvised, Arizona-flavored, Hollywood-square skit with appearances from Darth Vader, Dave Mustaine, Trump, and Jay Leno.

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Most Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Holmberg on Sick Day Guilt:
  “If you miss work, you just gotta sit in your stew...I still all day afraid Tripp was going to show up...” (03:14)

• Discussion of “Vabbing” Trend:
  “For lack of a better way to describe it...her sneezes into her underpants, she takes that and dabs it on her wrists and neck.” (31:43)

• The “Golden Asshole” Pride:
  “If I could get known as the golden asshole of Phoenix...I might start crying.” (59:23)

• Listener Dilemma—Affair Outed:
  “My wife and I were at dinner. My side piece walked in...My wife exchanged numbers with her and we’re supposed to go out as couples...This can’t end well, can it?” (63:43)

• JB Smoove On Pheromones & Hygiene:
  “It is a aphrodisiac. Of course you are attracted to the scent, the pheromone.” (123:53)

  “Have you used exfoliating gloves? That’s a life-changer...buy a brown pair for your ass, and a cream pair for your face!” (127:52)

• Classic Arizona Car Show Take:
  “Barrett Jackson is now the...see-and-be-seen. Not everybody there is a car person—it’s just such a ticket to go.” (14:41)

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Notable Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Time (MM:SS) | |----------------------------------|---------------------------| | Sick Day Guilt & Barrett-Jackson | 01:22–15:41 | | Lyrics by Genre Discussion | 21:21–29:03 | | Vabbing Trend & Reactions | 29:26–36:48 | | Death Row Restaurant/AI Suicide | 39:35–56:59 | | Golden Asshole/Listener Emails | 61:52–75:10 | | JB Smoove Interview | 112:59–141:44 | | Brady News & Science News | 85:16–110:08 | | Guadalupe Squares | 163:39–181:16 (End) |

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Tone & Style

The show’s tone is candid, brash, and playful. Banter is quick, boundaries are pushed (sometimes gleefully past decency), and there’s a consistent chemistry among the hosts and guest. Tradeoffs between genuine insight and roast-quality jokes come fast, with Arizona-local jokes and pop-culture references peppered throughout. Listener participation, email readings, and improv character work on the “Squares” keep things grounded in classic morning radio style.

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Who Should Listen?

• Fans of classic guy-oriented radio and rapid-fire banter
• Comedians, car enthusiasts, and pop-culture junkies
• Listeners who appreciate irreverent, boundary-pushing humor and honest, unfiltered conversations about sex, music, society, and hygiene

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Summary Written by: PodcastSummarizerAI
Contact: [e-mail]

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Transcript

[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

And max wager amount.

[Brett]

See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean, really, maybe in 2026 you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten. I know that was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly. Visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. 4804-483-Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning everybody.

[Brett]

Hello there.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to Friday Skip. Today it is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. This is the morning sickness. And yeah, living up to the name yesterday. Woke up with a closed throat, but, well, this is it. I got stung by a bee in my sleep or something. I can't breathe. I can't talk. Anything terrible. But thank God for call on doc.com. as a man, maybe the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Woke up 4 o' clock yesterday. I was like, man, it's bad. Called the boys. So I'm not gonna make it in there. I just. This is. I need a. I don't want to hand this over. It felt like strep throat. Like I don't want to give this to everybody just in case. I don't know where it came from. It was out of the blue and then got a call on doc.com. just go through the symptoms of what you got 35 bucks. Next thing you know Walgreens has the prescription waiting on me. We're all ready to go. I'm done. Got the prednisone. Got all better. Feel much better. You know what I still live with, though? Because by the time I got the prescription and stuff and started to feel pretty good. I was supposed to go to Barrett Jackson yesterday and I. And I, you know, skipped school. So I was. Didn't feel well. I didn't go to work about 11 o'. Clock. I'm starting to feel better. Noon, I'm feeling really good. The boys wanted to go about two.

[Brett]

And got your prices right in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, I watched a Super Password. I watched the old. I watched Buzzer Network. I was watching old game shows because when I'm sick on the couch, game shows are the thing. So much Super Password and concentration. The old Alex Trebek. Anyway, they're, you know, like, all right, screw it, I'll get up and move. And I had so much guilt, like from when you remember when you were a little kid and you'd miss school and then you had something to do and you're not supposed to leave that when you're a kid and you miss school. My dad would be like, you can't go to school. You can't do anything.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it was like that. If you miss work, you just gotta sit in your stew. And so I left the house feeling like I was under surveillance. Like I was just. I'm getting big trouble for. Somebody sees me. Like, wait a minute, I'm an adult now. I don't have to worry about that. Like, I. But I still all day afraid Tripp.

[Brady]

Was going to show up a better job.

[JB Smoove]

What are you doing here, dude?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, why are you. How come you weren't. And now you're. Does this have anything to do with Larry and I? I. Yeah, a guy came up to me. I was by the bathroom and he's like, hey, Homeberg, nice job. I'm like, good. I'm like, God, I hope he didn't listen. I didn't know. Maybe got fooled by the best stuff. I lived with that weird weight, you know, I'm not 11. I can't, like, I can't have a teacher see me. They. And by the way, the teacher never cared when you were a kid.

[Brett]

If they.

[John Holmberg]

They don't. Nobody cares. What was that into you? But I felt horrible because you have.

[Brett]

Those situations where a person is not sick and they call off and then there they are in the front page of the newspaper or seen on tv.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, if you're doing something terrible.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, like you're at a massage parlor getting hand jobs and stuff. And the news comes by and captures you as you're getting escorted out by the police, which has happened to radio professionals in this town. One of my.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

One of the greatest moments in the history of radio.

[Brady]

Oh, do tell.

[John Holmberg]

In Phoenix, we've had a few good ones. Bonaduce getting. I remember that prostitutes and Carla Fox running that lawyer over and keeping a finger in her front of her grill and trying to get home and with.

[Brett]

The car double, you know, because driving with a guy that owned a car dealer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. I forgot about that.

[Brett]

He was driving.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then the one guy that worked that was getting underage broads and stuff. And there was a few great. We had a few great ones. There's nothing better than. Because it wasn't. It was an exec. It was a Bob. Oh, and this. I'm not going to use his name because it's not right. And he got away with it. But he was missing some work here and there.

[Brady]

Not in this company, though. Not at Kitty.

[Brett]

He wasn't even missing work.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he was missing work because he was in his work clothes.

[Brett]

It was lunch.

[John Holmberg]

He wasn't at work. And where he was was like an hour from work. That's it. Was that those university rubbing tugs, you know that. You know, on University Road over by the airport. By the airport. Little Miss Barbecues there. And then across the streets, that windowless box. And like Asian girls just walk in like little zombies. And so evidently, right at the time, this dude was getting loads of rubbing tugs. He's. Oh, the best. And we all kind of. He was okay. He had a hot head. He was a tempered guy. I remember that. Like, he was really nice. And then golfer. He was a great golfer. And he'd explode on people. So Sheriff Joe does a sting on rubbing tugs. And he didn't know. And it was like a year long. Like, find out which ones are doing it. And the day. One of the days he go. One of now, he says it's the only time, but one of the days he goes there, sting happens and they bring the news. So as the dude's being escorted out in cuffs, he's holding his hands over his face.

[Brett]

Most of the people are covering themselves.

[John Holmberg]

But he's got a monogrammed collar, shirt cuff, and it had his initials and his face. Like, you can tell, and his initials are there.

[Brett]

And if you're in the radio industry.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you knew Him. Yeah. Everybody's. I know that guy. It was awesome. And so we all, you know, front page of the Arizona Republic the next day day back when people got papers and on the news that his wife was my client. Yeah. And Brad. Yeah. Brady had to answer that and and bought his story that it was like his friends drug him over there. Very first time ever. He didn't know what to do and he's getting tugged. Didn't know cops busted in while he. Some Asian girl was jumping up and down on a stuff with her with her hands. Anyway, I wasn't doing that, man. I was at Barrett Jackson. Mark gave me a hand job. But that was later. I mean that was totally different. But no. Yeah. So that's how you feel. But that's if you're up to no good. I mean I just missed the day, felt better and went about my business. You can get better, but I still have that guilt of didn't go well. I had my dad you got medicated.

[Brett]

You know, which makes me feel a little bit better.

[John Holmberg]

My dad would. Would have yelled at me if you missed work.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't go anywhere like you're so.

[Brett]

Stockers probably said well if you're gonna do, you know, yeah, Z pack and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah knock some other stuff.

[Brett]

You should probably lay low for the day.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the other thing. The more I sat around, the worse I felt. So I felt like I just got to get this thing going. I was moving around, jumping rope, trying to do. I could not do it. I was dragging ass. And then about 8 o' clock hit last night I was done. And that's what Jeremy just text in and said. We all know what it was. John. You got your herpes. You talked about that the day before. Yeah, Sophie Cunningham gave me herpes flare my throat. Maybe it was psychosomatic that when I read that Sophie talked about our herpes. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I mean if she's got him, I've got them. I don't want to go into detail, but it's just the way it is. And yeah, so my throat was like, oh, Sophie's got herpes. We have herpes. I'm not saying I nailed her.

[Brady]

I'm just saying that you're not saying you didn't though.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. That was you talking. I'm not gonna fight with you. No, I'm just saying. I'm not saying her herpes jumped off of the table. I'm just saying I have from no one else. Sophie's herpes. And when she Went on her podcast and said, I'm like. And then, ironically, next day, I miss work. I mean, come on. I mean, you guys can put the one plus one is Sophie's herpes. I mean, that's a thing. But I. Yeah. But I felt good. So the people that said hello to me, hi. Yes, I know. But it was good because none of them said, well, we were at work this morning because I think they were all fired up about missing work and going to Barrett Jackson on a Thursday, too. Which, by the way, is pretty awesome. It is. It is such a massive footprint, and I mean massive, that we. 12,000 steps yesterday. It was a lot of walking. And we. I mean, it was just there. We. We covered some ground. And my buddy Dr. Jeff is. He's going back. He's got his eyes on something. They had a 69 Bronco roll past on the stage. And I'm like, oh, these things are. They got a few of them. It went for nothing. I should have got it. And those moments when you're like, that. We could have got that. Like, that was. Those things are worth twice as much as what. And it was all done up.

[Brett]

But nothing to him is 92 grand.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was what. For that car. Those things. The next one went up for 165. Like.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Which I would have thought, like, you're saying.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't even pay attention to it. Didn't pay attention. Rolled off at 87 and went up to like, 90 something. I'm like, what the. And we were looking. Is there something Wrong with the 69? Is there something wrong with it?

[Brett]

What's kind of cool is. And asking the guys that. That work there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

That, you know, go every year.

[JB Smoove]

It.

[Brett]

There's a certain. You know, there's always certain brands or models of cars that all sudden, this is the hot one. Like, yeah, it was like 90s SUVs last year. And then going through outrageous prices and then other cars that you think would be higher. Like, some of the muscle cars were going really cheap.

[John Holmberg]

But me and the boys were. We looked at a. It sold for $13,000. We didn't see it go through the auction. It was a 1988. One of those Excalibur limousines. It looks like.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, great shape smelled when you open the doors. It smelled like Reagan should just. His ghost should it smell like cigarettes in the 80s. Like, I think, you know, Family Ties plays non stop on the loop inside of there. It's so 80s. Cosby sweaters in the trunk.

[Brady]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

And I said, and we found it after and it's sold sticker in 13. And I'm like, I'm standing next to this thing till we find the guy who bought it. And the four of us, me, Brink, Anthony and mark, we're going to kick in four grand apiece. 16,000 total. Make this guy three grand right off the bat. So give us this thing, chauffeur each other around, maybe even in blackface. I don't know. It would have been fun because it looked like that kind of car. And then you drive the other. They drive the other three to wherever it is. Like rah rah room. They all get out, go to boom boom. Yeah, boom boom room. After, drive it. And then the next night we go somewhere. Brink drives the other three guys. Everybody drives one. And then we jump it. We take it and build a ramp. And we leap this stupid thing through the. To get our use out. Because it was just such a ridiculously stupid cartoon car. This gargantuan. I'm like, 13 grand for 1988 limousine with that. I don't even know what those are called. That front end with the circle light, the big. It looked like a like cruella de vil should be driving. And it's like a Disney limo.

[Brady]

I know what you're talking about. I think. Let me pull it up.

[John Holmberg]

I always called them excaliburs because when I was a kid, my matchbox car was an excalibur.

[Brett]

And it looked like it was a brand, wasn't it?

[John Holmberg]

It could be. I have no idea. It was the neatest thing I've seen. And when I saw that only sold for 13 grand, I'm like, we entered that in a smash up derby, and I'd have driven that to work every day. And I said, we'll do it like the Stanley cup. Each of us gets it for a couple days a week. The other guy got. And then we just dick around. And Anthony was so against it. It was painful, but it was such a cool ride. It was nuts. Like a power wagon next to it. Sold for like 19. I'm like, that's when you go through the tent.

[Brett]

Some of those things are amazing. Like, what?

[John Holmberg]

That went for 13 grand. So it was pretty neat. It's a lot. And the fascination with it is amazing. And it kind of dawned on me that Barrett Jackson is now the. It has been for a while, but it's like a cnb scene. Not everybody. There's a car person, but it's just such a ticket to go. Oh, I was there. Like, there's A ton of people just walking around going, oh, yeah, that's all. What's a big block? And like. No, no. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's a big block. Coyote. What? I'm not learning anything. Yes, that's exactly it, Brad. All right. Oh, could you imagine? What's that called?

[Brady]

It's a tiffany.

[John Holmberg]

Tiffany.

[Brett]

Tiffany. All right.

[John Holmberg]

It was cream. It was hideous pipes. It had it all. That's what I said. If you were there, we'd have done it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, three or four of us were all in on finding the guy in just off. I'd have gone as high as five each. 20 grand.

[Brady]

So Frank was out on it.

[John Holmberg]

Brink was totally in.

[Brady]

Brink was when I was out.

[John Holmberg]

Anthony.

[JB Smoove]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We were all in on that.

[Brady]

Should have threw in an extra g just to cover his look.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo even raised his arm, which lends me to believe it is a bad purchase. But so cool. But I didn't. They fired that thing off, like, first. That was like one of the first looks. Let's get this.

[Brady]

Nobody wants.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody did. Thirteen grand. How much is that one? Is that for sale?

[Brady]

No, it's just a picture of one.

[Brett]

Yeah, it looks like Lincoln town car.

[John Holmberg]

Modified like. Dudley moore. Should get out of that. Stumble out. Oh, it's such a. It was such a great car.

[Brett]

But remember in the, like, in the 70s and stuff, you could get the customization of the cars. They'd put the wheel.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was the outside of what that is. Yeah. I don't even know. Is there a wheel in there in that?

[JB Smoove]

Some wood.

[Brett]

But then they would just make it. There was not a wheel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the spokes. Like, there was a wheel. And I don't know what it is is. It's neat, though. But Barrett jackson is the thing that, you know, people go because they think they should.

[Brady]

It's the non limo version, man.

[John Holmberg]

I'd get that thing, too. How much is that?

[Brady]

It's sold.

[John Holmberg]

All right. An 86 Tiffany coupe. I don't know what the hell those pikes are on the side, But I think they're cool.

[Brett]

That's all glued.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the horns up front. Oh, I'd be blasting those Non pimping.

[Brady]

Through maryvale and that thing, man. You would.

[John Holmberg]

If I went to the blade, would start handing me money. But you better have my money. Oh, they're so cool. Anyway. But yeah, everybody that was there was like a looky lou. And then I was up on the stage, which is cool. You can go up there. And that's kind of neat. That was a fun thing. And wandered around out there and yeah, he just covered so much ground. We had a great time, but it was just. I'm in. Today's going to be nuts. It's all weak. And it cannot be that this city has that many car people who know what they're doing. A good. I would imagine 50% are just people who are like, what is this? It's. It's the Phoenix Open. There. There aren't that many people interested in golf.

[Brett]

It's the Phoenix Open, but the light difference is car dealer, trophy wives, some of that.

[John Holmberg]

It was almost like it was 90 men. It was almost all guys. I mean, it's a lot.

[Brett]

That's why it would stick out. The one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

The girls that are leopard print, flashy outfits.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's this weekend. The real money rolls in today and tomorrow because that's when they're starting to throw some big.

[Brady]

The big boys are coming out. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So that's when the girls think billionaire husband time and they start fishing. Yeah. I had a great idea for a TV show walking around there, though. Think of this. To prove that men are the more emotional and more romantic gender, you tell a group of 10 hotels influencer women that throughout the day the TV producers are going to take them places. And at one of those places there will be a billionaire who wants to date them and has requested through the Internet, through their service that you bring her to me. But you don't know who he is. And you'd go to Burger King and you go to, you know, Walgreens and you go to Jiffy Lube and Discount Tire. You take her some places to run some errands as a personal assistant for the guy who's putting it all together. And one of the people serving her is a billionaire. She knows it, but not all of them are just to see how nice she is to Dude. She would have never been nice to. Like, the dude at Discount Tire doesn't know why she's there. And she's gonna cozy up to him like, hi. You know, and he'd be like, what's going on?

[Brett]

But then if she knew one of them was a guy, then she's nice to everyone.

[John Holmberg]

Right? She's. Well, that's the point though. But the dudes at Discount Tire would be like, normally this girl is not giving me any attention. What is going on? And just to see. Just to show them how different they are when money's involved. That dude at Discount Tire could be the match in her life. But Without a billion dollars, she's never gonna be interested. But a man would. A man would find a girl at the Burger King and think, my God, she's beautiful. Or no matter what he's got, he'd be like, you know, that's the whole Cinderella thing. Take some poor bitch who used to be a maid for it didn't matter to him what she did. It does, though. It would be a real social experiment to have that. But you just show how different she would act knowing that someone out there's a bit. But she's talking to just Joe Schmo.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, minimum wage. She has no idea.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's the way you're helping the guy. You're helping the billionaire out.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. Yep. She has no idea. But she knows she better be putting it on. Because at any time now, one of these weird minimum wage dudes could be a billionaire. Whereas in a normal day she has to go run these errands. She's not. She's not trying to win one over. That's proof. Right? And. And we're all sitting there like my buddy Brinks. Like, that's a great idea. It would be a great show. All birds. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell. They're sticky. They say things that are horrible.

[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855gun rights or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's Restore My Civil Rights.com Holmberg's morning sickness. Especially to watch them fawn all over themselves over a dude who is not the guy. He's just like, wow, this is that. And I've never been. And then you interview him. It's like, I've never had a woman that beautiful even spend two seconds with me or talk to. I don't know what's going on.

[Brett]

What are you doing when you get off work?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you just tell the dude at the tire shop, hey, we're doing a thing about. We're calling it blue collar Joe. And we want you to be part of this and just your regular day. And he doesn't know that she's part of it. She comes. He's like, man, I've never had a.

[Brett]

Day like undercover boss, sort of.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of undercover gold digger. It would be awesome. And then one of them is. And then the billionaire can decide based on how she treated everybody else, like she's just in it for the money and make a few of the guys unattractive to see if she'd ever say, he might have $1 billion. But I'm not attracted to him because I don't think that matters. I might. I might make some calls today or some.

[Brady]

The next coach of the Cardinals. You know, things like that.

[John Holmberg]

It would be that. Yeah. But it would be like this. Just a dude who's like. And then you find out it's the. Like, a dude with like, a half an arm. You know? And she's got to be extra nice to him. It's like she didn't care that he had half an arm. Like, she's after the money and the money only. It would be a good show. It'd be a great show. Anyway. Enjoy. Barrett Jackson, bj. Parking signs are up, and they're very funny. Every year they have hats there that say B. Jack. It's too close to. And there's no K. It's Jac.

[Brady]

You didn't buy one.

[John Holmberg]

Your hat looks like it says E Jack on it.

[Brady]

Should have bought one.

[John Holmberg]

I almost did, but I was like, that's dumb. B Jack hats. I don't want that. I'm fascinated by this. Brady handed me a thing that said the most common words used in country music. Not everybody would know. Trucks. Trucks in there. And it is whiskey, beer. Beer's not on the list, which is surprising. But whiskey more. No, no. They go straight to the whiskey. Love, baby girl, heart. Truck home, night mama. Whiskey and drink. Then we asked each other the question, wonder what it is for. For like, rock and not going back to classic rock. Like, you know, once rock was nothing more general. Yeah. Just now rock Music's basically. There's no love songs. It's all screaming at your dad.

[Brady]

It's like 90s forward.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 90s.

[Brady]

Like grunge up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think there's a lot of love and death is one of the words. Black baby's probably still in there. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking at the songs that are coming up. Like the F word, maybe.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, maybe.

[Brett]

No, because you think about the. How much dumping there's on an arse on the songs that we play. Well, it would be a top 10.

[Brady]

But you got to think about songs that we get that are, like. We're not beeping them. They're radio edits, so they're already saying a different way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm looking at all this, like, end. Like, everything in rock music's about, you know, like, the ending. Death, heart, whole heart, maybe.

[Brett]

Because you could say it, but we're not way.

[John Holmberg]

Ours isn't. Ours isn't Baby and love and all that anymore. Not even close.

[Brett]

Men.

[JB Smoove]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because back in the 80s, that's all it was. I'm thinking baby love.

[Brady]

You know, every Poison concert, all the.

[John Holmberg]

80S ballads that came up songs, everything. Everybody had baby in a song. So baby and girl. We don't have girl. And these dudes don't sing to women anymore. It's all about cold being angry. Cold is a good one. Cold's up there. And then, like, the basic rhymy rhymes, which is fly. And. Yeah, I'm trying to, like, weaponry would be on the list. I'm trying to see some of the songs we got coming up. Like Monkey Wrench, the Foo Fighters would be a. It's a great song, but I don't think it's about. Not about women. It's about actually stupefy. I don't know. Like, I think it would be about life, like, living death, die.

[Brett]

Wonder if AI was crazy if you'd ask AI.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, ask AI and see what. What. What are the most common words used in modern rock songs? All right. Because, you know, it makes sense that country music, that's pretty easy to guess, you know, I'm surprised dog wasn't on the list. But Whiskey and Truck, that would have been my first guest. Truck. Because they love singing about their trucks.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then Mama. Mama would have been on there. Baby love. I know in Mexican music, the word corazon is in every song. It's like, mandatory. Yeah. I don't know. Like, rock music. I think Brady's Right. I think death has to be in there. Or dying. References to dying.

[Brady]

Okay, I just typed in most common words using 90s and up rock music.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So I figured, you know, we'll cut out the Poisons movies. That's the usual suspects. Most common words. Love, hate, feel, feeling, heart, pain, alone, inside, broken, fear and cry.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's horrible.

[Brady]

Pain, struggle and rebellion away. Run, fall, fight, die, free, lost, save, change.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

Dark abstract imagery would be world nothing, everything black, cold, fire and light.

[John Holmberg]

Man, it's depressing. Will somebody write a rock song to his girlfriend for Christ's sake.

[Brady]

Oh, and then here we go.

[John Holmberg]

We even.

[Brady]

Wow, this is great. Even got genre specific. So grunge was pain, alone, feel inside and nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Brady]

New metal would have been like Lincoln Parkcorn. Hate, pain, broken inside. Pop punk like green day, blink 182 tonight, run again forever. Emo would have been heart, cry alone, save pussies. Alt rock would have been Chili Peppers like Foo Fighters type music. Love, life away and time.

[John Holmberg]

What a bunch of British smokes throwing in the word cry. Andrew Krueger says. Or Krieger says. Hey, make Brett's algorithm fun. Ask it what the most common words in rap are. Oh, you're gonna have a. You're gonna get one. Okay. It's gonna tell you sure. It's gonna have it in there. It's gonna be in there. And I don't know if ya is a word, but that's in them. We're gonna run a. Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

In the 90s. Escalade.

[Brady]

I wrote most common words in 90s.

[John Holmberg]

I know which one is the most common and we're not saying it, but I know which one it is and it is still the most common.

[Brady]

Let's see here. Yeah is the most common word used.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Close runner raps are.

[John Holmberg]

Uh huh. Those aren't words. Hey, that's yo. Yeah. Let's see here. Where is it?

[Brady]

Money, status, money, cash stacks, dollars, rich paid, street power.

[John Holmberg]

There it is.

[Brady]

N word.

[John Holmberg]

There it is.

[Brady]

Even gang boss and real.

[John Holmberg]

Did I write it or did it?

[Brady]

It's the. It ends with an A. But it wrote it. It wrote it with an AI.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to lose your job that you're trying to take from. An interesting thing.

[Brady]

Era flavor gangster rap is money, ride, hood, gun, life.

[John Holmberg]

Here comes.

[Brady]

No, no, no. It's not in any of these.

[John Holmberg]

Actually that AI skipped it.

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

No cuss words. And this is crazy isn't on the wraps.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? Who knew why?

[Brady]

Yeah. Wins works as rhythm Glue fill space between bars. Signals confidence and universal across regions and eras.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, this is crazy. Okay.

[Brady]

It was only one mention of the N word in there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm surprised. Shocking. Shocking, because I know that that AI just kind of go, all right, we're ignoring it. So you know what I just found out? AI is white. AI is white and scared to death to say it.

[Brett]

Filter.

[John Holmberg]

Because if AI was black, it would have been in there. What are you looking at? I can say it. AI's like, yeah, I don't know about this. AI is white.

[Brett]

Maybe put the change and say hit songs.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Then you get.

[John Holmberg]

I might ask, when we're off the air, I might ask my AI that I argue with sometimes, just for fun, if he'll just say that word. And. Oh, I don't like saying that word. I have him as an Englishman. I don't like saying that word. It's. I said get. I'm like, so you're white then. So I'm gonna find out if AI is white, because if he doesn't say it, I'm gonna make my AI uncomfortable. I like doing that. Yeah. So, yeah. Cold and inside. I guess inside is in all rock songs. That's a weird. That's a cool little study there.

[Brady]

I said, how many songs had the n word in 90s and up rap music?

[John Holmberg]

How many?

[Brady]

Yeah, it doesn't give me an exact number yet, but many songs feature the word multiple times, including Kanye West's All Day uses the n word 45 times in one song.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Is that the record?

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know, man.

[Brady]

This is crazy.

[John Holmberg]

I think my grandpa held the record prior to that, but he would make songs up with it. So did Kanye, though.

[Brady]

That's true.

[Brett]

That's close to a minute of the song.

[John Holmberg]

45.

[Brett]

Said it over.

[John Holmberg]

Did you just time it in your head?

[Brett]

I was thinking, that's one second.

[John Holmberg]

Basically how long it takes me to.

[Brady]

Test your ninja fingers and play this song.

[John Holmberg]

Ready?

[JB Smoove]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

All right, start the clock. Okay, we're at 0.4 seconds and 45 times. My God, Two minutes. I don't know what that is. And I saw this as well. This is gross. And there's a. They say this is going to be a trend for women who can't get men. It's called fabbing. Have you heard of fabbing?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

I got two other trends today, too. That was not.

[John Holmberg]

They're not vabbing. So ladies. Ladies who are, like, trying to find a guy, and they're like, I don't know what's going on some woman who's into. Yeah. Try to guess what vabbing is. It says they're trying to say that maybe it's, you know, they're. They're not. They're not putting out the right chemical or pheromone sorts of. So fabbing.

[Brett]

Scent, vibe. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Any guess. Brett got a guess on what women are doing vabbing?

[Brady]

No, because I can't say it on the air.

[John Holmberg]

I think you can.

[Brady]

Yeah, probably not.

[John Holmberg]

What were you. What? I mean, give me a.

[Brady]

Has something to do with the lower regions.

[John Holmberg]

The clam is the medical term you're looking for. Yes.

[Brady]

It's not what I was going to.

[John Holmberg]

Say, but you know the vagina first signs. Yes, yes, yes. And.

[Brett]

Okay, go ahead.

[Brady]

I'm just saying, like trying to tighten it up.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Tightening.

[Brett]

Beautifying it.

[John Holmberg]

Beautifying the vagina.

[Brady]

Yeah, I would say that too. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Make it tighter.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Incorrect. Although vocal. Whoa. Teach it to sing. No, not Copenhagen down there. I'll tell you right now, if that thing starts singing or whistle, I'm taking you out like that frog on the wb. Yeah.

[Brady]

I'm taking the star search. Let's do this.

[John Holmberg]

Watch this, everybody. I could pull her pants down. For lack of a better way to describe it. And again, I'm not a doctor, but I will be as classy as I can win. Her sneezes into her underpants. She takes that and dabs it on her wrists and neck.

[Brady]

I'll just kill yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So she thinks that the scent. I'll read it. As it says in a news article, it's essentially the act of taking vaginal discharge and dabbing it in certain areas of the body where you would normally put perfume or fragrance.

[JB Smoove]

What a pig.

[John Holmberg]

The neck, wrists and behind the ears.

[Brett]

Some girls would have the wet look the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

Some of them are just got cats.

[Brady]

Following them around when they walk in the room.

[John Holmberg]

Little cats. I don't know. Ever since I started vabbing, I've got a lot of cats. Anyway, it says I can't get any.

[Brett]

Can I borrow some? Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

The thought that is that will attract a partner is the idea that the fluids supposedly contain pheromones that push out. But aren't you already pushing those out?

[Brett]

If you've got to think so if.

[John Holmberg]

You'Ve got that loaded right in the middle. Pheromones. You can't smell that.

[Brett]

Dough and heat is already.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't need that up on your neck.

[Brady]

You smell like a can of Starkist.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. I seem to Be attracting a lot of cats.

[Brett]

Last call at title nine would just be crazy.

[John Holmberg]

You might get a guy from Chula Seafood to follow you around for a little while. I don't know if it's me or you, but what are you thinking? Yeah, puppies and cats, they're gonna love you. But no, man, you know what it was? I don't know. I guess I went to kiss her neck and it smells like. It's amazing. I don't want to smell it. If it has a scent, it's gone too far. I want you to wash. But that's the thing that they're telling her. It says the one girl's like, I swear if you fab you will attract men. One night stands dates. You are going to get free drinks all night. And people do say it works at.

[Brady]

2Am so are we going to be.

[Brett]

Seeing these hip ads for like now? It's going to be slightly modified ax wound body spray.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Ax wound. Yeah, the wound. That's exactly right. Well done, Brady. This lady says the best way to do it is to get in there on your fingers and rub it all over your neck. She said I rub it on my body and people can smell my pheromones. A woman's health specialist.

[Brady]

What a pig.

[John Holmberg]

Her name is Hannah Patel. Patel.

[Brady]

Shocking.

[John Holmberg]

Previously warned against trying to fab as could pose a risk to your health. Potential to get an infection is a lot higher. Bacteria and fungus. This lady that's addicted to it in the article says that when the date's going well or she sees a guy she likes, she goes and reapplies in the bathroom. I know. You know easy it is to get a guy. Why are you doing this? It's just talk to us.

[Brady]

Are these hot chicks or are these pigs?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I didn't see any pictures.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

I wonder if someone else. If that works. I wonder if fudging would work.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, come on.

[Brett]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe the gay bars. That's not a bad idea. He smells like I love him. Yeah, fabbing.

[Brady]

Imagine the aroma title.

[JB Smoove]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's already bad.

[Brady]

It'd be worse though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And the inside of the forester, so to speak. Get a couple fingers in that forester and the next thing you know. Well, that's a new thing. But again, cedar. And you know what I hate though? I hate that women. I hate that women think it's hard to get a guy like they're struggling. Walk up to the guy you like and just go, huh? What do you think? Just give us a wink or A hello?

[Brady]

Depends on what they look like. That's why I was asking what they look like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if you're a pig and you're covered in your own juice, you weren't doing too well in the first place. Just if that wins me over. Like some sort of Batman spray.

[Brett]

Like a thousand pound sister. Vabbing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Oh, man. You do that for. I need every edge I can get to bring her into this.

[Brady]

It worked for Gary Payton.

[JB Smoove]

That is true. The dude.

[John Holmberg]

That is true. Gary Payton was interested. And here's how the doctor described it. I've had green pus, yellow pus, brown pus, pus mixed with blood.

[Brady]

I'm going to bear Jackson.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm sorry. That was Dr. Pimple Popper. I apologize. What's it feel like when you put it on your neck? They burn, they drain. They have an odor. Yeah, that's all right. Anyway, Vabbing with a V. Not like dabbing like Cam Newton used to do in the end zone. It's gross, but. Yeah, I don't think I would be like, I'm not attracted to her, but. Oh, I don't know what it is, but I'm magically attracted to her. Like the floating dog in the cartoon towards the pie on the windowsill. It's gross, but it's not hard for women to get. Guys. It just isn't the fact you're. If you're doing that, how hideous are you? Or how desperate must you be when there's dudes out there that like, just walk up to Larry and say, hi, I find you interesting. And it's on.

[Brady]

You have to go to his house.

[John Holmberg]

But, oh, yeah, they're gonna knock on his door. But if you're. Hey, look, if you're jabbing fingers in your body to try to get. Just go to Larry's house. We'll give you the address. Larry's like, I can't. I can't explain all these. These smelly girls are just pounding on my door. Yuck. To all of you that think that's a thing, but it's a thing. I was like, this is a joke. And then they like a couple articles about it. So gross. So gross. But that's the world we live in today. Let's get ourselves a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 Kupiti. Wake up Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said It. What the hell is wrong with you? All right, thank you very much, Thomas James. And the theme song for the year. I like that. People are now coming up with fragrant names for vabbing. My favorite so far, Slough number five. I think that's pretty solid. Thank you. Scott Haynes. Let's leave it right there. It says you can. Remember we used to open magazines and they had the scent, and you'd open that little. Smell it. Yeah. He said, you can get the Vabbing scent on Cat Fancy if you're interested in going through that. That's pretty solid as well. Gross. Yeah. And every guy emailed and said, oh, you're right. Sick and tired of chicks acting like it's tough to find one of us. We're everywhere. I have also been challenged to get another shout out from Kevin Ray tonight during a Sons game. If I can get him to mention vabbing at all, it's worth a thousand dollars for. All right, I'll take you. I'll tell you. We'll try. See if K. Ray, they're playing the Hawks tonight. We'll see if Krake can go. Bring me up again and say something about vabbing. I don't think he will. He'll stay away from that. Brady, you. This. We missed this. You being a guy who loves restaurants. Me being a guy who loves serial killer stories, missed out on the. The nation's fascination with true crime. The guy in Ohio has opened the greatest idea for a restaurant ever. And we probably talked about this years ago. It's called Last Meal. The menu are serial killers, death row guys. Last meals, you order. You get the John Wayne Gacy, you get the. The Ted Bundy, you get dudes who have been executed. Last Meals, it's in. Where is. What's it called? Gallon, Ohio. Is that right? Gallon. Yeah. Galleon, Ohio.

[Brett]

Do you know where that is in South. I think. No, I think it's not far from where I went. Ohio University.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's got that. It's called the Final Meal. It's become crazy popular. And you can go in and say, I want the. Like the John Wayne Gacy. Looks pretty good, actually. It's chicken wings, strawberries. I don't like that. Fried shrimp and french fries. The Ted Bundy was a parmesan steak and loaded steak fries.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Eileen Wuornos Monster. A cup of black coffee and a cheeseburger.

[Brady]

You don't like black coffee? That wouldn't work for you.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I can modify a little. Get some creamer in that. It's pretty great. Timothy McVeigh. His last thing was two pints of mint chocolate ice cream. If you want some mint chocolate chip ice cream, you get the McVeigh. That's for dessert. Isn't that cool, though? That's a great idea.

[Brett]

It is.

[Brady]

I want a Bundy. That. That sounds.

[John Holmberg]

Bundy sounds pretty good. A parmesan steak with some loaded steak fries. I think that's a great idea, man.

[Brett]

He's gonna. Maybe not Pretty simple as far as amount of different items on the menu. There's probably a commonality with a lot of those Final meals. Most of them are probably fried chicken.

[John Holmberg]

It's almost all dudes. So, yeah, you go chicken meat. Very American fair. I don't think anybody's gonna go with, you know, like snails or anything.

[Brady]

What's the name of the place?

[John Holmberg]

Last Meal.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Find the. Find the menu. Yeah. It's called. It is called the Final Meal. I'm sorry. It's called the Final Meal. Galleon, Ohio. And you know, just kind of a cool thing because as fast and everybody's like, that's weird.

[Brady]

The.

[John Holmberg]

The top 10 podcasts in the country are all like murder. Everybody loves murder podcasts. We're all on murder porn. And this dude said it. He's. Nate Thompson, is a native of Michigan. He says. I also own the Michigan Museum of Horror. Said I always thought it would be unique to have a restaurant where you could eat the same Last Meals that executed criminals had. So Last Meal is going to be not only in Ohio soon. I'm going to get it up to Michigan and try to get out. We should franchise one of these and bring it here.

[Brett]

Let's call them.

[John Holmberg]

We should. I would do that in a second. Get a free. Free push on that. It's a great idea if you can get good chefs and stuff. The Last Meal. Awesome.

[Brett]

Kind of like, you know, it's kind of cool. When it. It came out years ago. Was that 19 crimes wine where it have the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

On there. And you'd actually scan it and it would tell you.

[John Holmberg]

Tell you what it was. Yeah. Said if you want a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and a bottle of Coke, that's the Timothy McVeigh. The Carol Chessman is named after the kidnapper, robber and serial rapist. You're going to get. Oh, no. McVeigh was the mint chocolate ice cream. That was the Carol Chestnut.

[Corey Thriller]

Was the.

[John Holmberg]

The toasted ham and cheese sandwich. That's not asking for much. Yeah. They have Helter Skelter Seltzer for Charles Manson. They made Their own drinks. That's a great idea. Is that it?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

See if I can get that.

[John Holmberg]

What's the Elizabeth Ann Duncan? Oh my gosh. They got a lot of good ones up there.

[Brady]

The Elizabeth Ann Duncan is an 8 ounce sirloin steak and a salad.

[John Holmberg]

Mostly steaks.

[Brett]

I think like steaks.

[John Holmberg]

I think you can pick and choose too. You like. You go through and find your. Your executed killer and say this stays in. Stays in our deal. What do you got?

[Brady]

The Stanley Tookie Williams, which was the leader of the Crips.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Bowl of brown sugar, oatmeal and a glass of milk. Add crip berries for an extra $2.

[John Holmberg]

See? Clever. The last meal is fantastic.

[Brett]

Velma Barfield. Barfield. Bowl of cheese puffs.

[John Holmberg]

She just had a bowl of cheese puffs. What's that run you? That's 8.99. That's not bad. That's a reasonable little snack for lunch. And how about the Charles chips? Charlie chips. Charles Manson chips. What are they loaded? Chicken nachos.

[Brady]

Shredded lemon chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Inspired by the Spawn Ranch using ingredients that were popular in the local area.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? See the last meal. What's the Black Dahlia murder?

[Brady]

That is pomegranate juice, lime juice, lemon juice, tonic water, muddled blackberries and blueberry garnish.

[John Holmberg]

That's the drinks.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Burn Bundy, burn.

[Brady]

Chilled shot of spicy water, mint, watermelon, Tajin, lemon or lime juice with a pepper garnish. There's no boozing helter.

[John Holmberg]

This is a great idea. We're gonna make a call and bring that in here. This guy says, I got a new conspiracy for you. Timothy McVeigh is still alive. Look up FBI agent Paul Weissa pal. Timothy McVeigh. Conspiracy. I don't want to get into that. I got enough on my mind. As long as he stays calm. As long as he stays calm, I don't care if McVay is still alive. I look, they let him and we are finding out the weird way. That's okay. Scott Haynes brings up. Can you. Can you get the last meals that we know about from the victims too? Like the JonBenet, the bowl of pineapple and milk. Oh, that's on the kids menu. Maybe we get the. The last victims. I like that. The jonbenet. Solid.

[Brett]

You could part of the parlay that into other last meals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

From famous stores or whatever. Because I think it was the president. Tyler had cherries and milk. He. He ate too much of him. It was like. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Arsenic in there. Yeah, yeah. I. That's Weird, isn't it? Strange slushy JonBenet. We all know that her. That little bowl of pineapple and milk was on the table, and she. She ate it all up. And then that was, like, to me, the grossest thing in the house that night. That's disgusting. Pineapple and milk. Now, granted, who knew that there was a body in there? But for the most part, if I'd wandered through that house, I've been like, ah, there's the dead body. I'm like, oh, what's she eating? Like, I would have been as aghast at the bowl of pineapple and milk as I was finding the kid some.

[Brett]

Pineapple and cottage cheese.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good. If you're 80, if you don't have any teeth left. Oh, God. I like cottage cheese and I like pineapple. But if they ever touched on a plate, I'd throw the whole thing away as, like, an applesauce. I used to have that when I was a kid. It had to be separate if any of my stuff touched. Still to this day, I don't like that. But, like, if you've got your peas and your anything, if they touched you.

[Brett]

Wanted, it all goes in the same.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, I'm not one of those, because I'm not a hillbilly. Although I think I might be. After going to Barrett Jackson yesterday, the only thing I actually really liked at Barrett Jackson, like, I was drawn to are Silverados and F150s Old Blazer K5 Blazers and Broncos and Jeeps. That was it. I didn't like. I like. Sports cars are fine. I think they're neat. I'm walking by all these, like, Lamborghinis and stuff. Like, yeah, yeah. I get. I see a 1971 K5 Chevy Blazer that's read. I'm like, oh, my God. I was fawning a lot. I wanted it so bad. And then the trucks, the redone Silverados and F150s from, you know what's crazy? You go to that. I don't know what's going to be a classic car in the future that doesn't cost us, like, 400 grand now. Like, there's no. You know, it's not that they're bad cars, but there's, like, you know, there's no, like, you know, Ford Fairmont or whatever. I guess the Fairlane went for 170 I saw go yesterday. You don't have them. And you get in these trucks and stuff when you're there and everybody's like, oh, it's so great because it's simple. Like the simplicity is.

[Brett]

Well, it gets a point where you have this car, it's old, they don't even have gas anymore.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Yeah, they're out of gas completely on the planet. I just don't know what is going to like is the, is the, you know, Hyundai Sonata ever going to be there? Yeah, we don't have classic cars anymore. And you open the door of these old cars and it's got, you know, a couple air conditioning vents, the miles per hour, maybe RPMs, couple of gauges, just this beautifully simple thing inside. And then you get into a new car and it's buttons and screens and it looks good, but it's just stuff that can break. It's all kind of cheap. It's not meant to last. You'll never get 25, 30 years from now trying to restore a 20, 25 Hyundai Sonata to what it was like off the lot. But that's what they do they Mustang Bucks now those. Yeah. And that's. That's like kind of the last of them.

[Brady]

Well that's because our generation's coming. Those were the cars back in the day for us. And so now our generation is starting to come up with money to buy that kind of.

[John Holmberg]

But isn't it like the cars couldn't.

[Brady]

Afford it back in the day? True, now you can.

[Brett]

But you'd never think a 90s.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brett]

SUV would be.

[Brady]

But it's 30 something years old now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but the 90s SUVs are simple by comparison. Like I don't know what today's. And again you go through Barrett Jackson. The cars that were classics 25 years ago are still the high end classes now. Like they're the only ones that are like the Mustang GTOs, even Novas, Barracudas, all those cars that are like if it's 1968 to 1974, that's the wheelhouse of like these are big. I didn't see a lot of 80s stuff at all. There's not a lot of them.

[Brett]

Like there's a couple occasional.

[John Holmberg]

And Iraq older Camaros were in the 70s because I thought that I'm like, where are the ones from. They're all the same classic cars that if I went to a classic car show when I was a kid, the same group would have been there. But man, I love those trucks. I was such a hillbilly for the trucks. You got me in that section. I was like, this is where I belong. They look great and man, they're nice.

[Brett]

What was the not really novelty show. But like the rare car.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I don't know.

[Brett]

I, I. Yeah, the Kennedy limo.

[John Holmberg]

Kennedy's ambulance. Yeah. I didn't see anything. You know the Elvis's Scooby Doo Mystery Machine and stuff. I don't. What, what the, the, this was the car? Yeah, the hook car was. I don't know. I have no idea. But yeah, I, but I was just fascinated. I'm such a rube. It's great.

[Brett]

Anyway, you didn't buy a gas pump.

[John Holmberg]

I look, we looked at those. They're pretty neat. You go there and say that's like going.

[Brett]

You got the room for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well yeah. It's just dumb though. It's that as a buyer's remorse buy. That's like when I was in Australia and we all came back from Australia and then customs. You see all those didgeridos coming through that thing and every guy's looking like what was I thinking? It seems like a good idea there, but it isn't good.

[Brett]

Do I need that ten thousand dollar big boy, right?

[John Holmberg]

They sell some weird stuff there. I don't know how the lady selling all the geodes is making her nut. If it's 20 grand. I have a booth there and she's selling those rocks. I have no clue how she's getting away with that. And also this is another thing that I've seen in my, in my dire yesterday, my morning of I saw that the AI has now solved the problem for assisted suicide. It turns itself on and off. There is no human interaction.

[Brett]

It knows how to.

[John Holmberg]

So now AI take a break. AI knows that if the suicide pod has weight in will then commence with verbal commands. Say are you ready? I will. I will begin the process. So you don't have to have a person program it or turn it on or anything else. You have to buy a suicide pod.

[Brady]

It's got no emotion.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It doesn't care. And it's got a job. The new suicide pod inventor now says the AI powered feature will allow couples to do it simultaneously.

[Brady]

Oh, it's Romeo.

[John Holmberg]

So yeah, yeah, you and your wife can climb in there and die together. It's a bill.

[Brady]

They would only would have had that.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know. Heywood had to go off and shoot.

[Brett]

What are those running?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady, I'm not going to tell you. That was a weird question. But you can print. It's a 3D printed suicide pod. So you just get a 3D printer and some of the materials. It'll print it up for you. And then it releases nitrogen and 64 year old woman used it in Switzerland and then turned into this thing where they're like, is that murder? Like nobody did it. Like it's different when somebody connects it all. But you built it yourself, you created it. It's truly a suicide machine. And then AI says all right, whenever you're ready, let me know. There's no humans. So these. This guy that invented the AI model says if you want couples can do it. I'm not suggesting to kill yourself, but some people are not going to be happy without their partner. Or do you?

[Brett]

You pick obviously. Pick the voice right on the command.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. You'd probably go with the British guy to keep it classy. Hello. And just not. We're going to kill ourselves today. That's wonderful. If you just climb into the pot. Is your wife going to be joining you? Is this a solo adventure?

[JB Smoove]

No, no, no, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, that's not AI.

[JB Smoove]

No.

[Brady]

I would push the button myself.

[John Holmberg]

I'm good. No one ever chooses Indian as their AI voice.

[Brady]

Kevin from Discover Card. I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

You're not.

[Brady]

No need.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you myself, you're not suicidal. If you're still funny enough to throw AI Indiana. What is the thing I can help you with today, my friend? I was just curious. Hey, how old is Tom Petty? Oh, American singer songwriter Tom Petty is 74. He has passed away, however, I had to break it to you when he died. He was 66. Are we all done or do you have more questions for me? Turn on the suicide machine, Patel.

[Brett]

Thanks, Kevin.

[JB Smoove]

No, no, no, no.

[Brady]

Oh, that would be the last thing you hear too.

[John Holmberg]

The last one. I'd be laughing. I'd be in the suicide. I'd be sucking in that nitrogen. Well, hopefully you are breathing the last of your good breasts, my friend. Thanks, Kevin. You are awfully happy for a man dying now.

[JB Smoove]

It's you.

[John Holmberg]

That's you brother.

[Brady]

And it would smell like curry.

[John Holmberg]

The gas. Oh no, he's not real. He doesn't stink. He doesn't. AI stinks. Yeah, it does.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even say they all smell, even the AI.

[Brady]

Death by curry.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

AI Kevin from India doesn't stink like his foods, Brett.

[Brady]

Well, what kind of aroma is coming into that death chamber?

[John Holmberg]

Nitrogen. He's not real. You don't get his body odor. No, I think he's authentically might as well a guy from. But I do like that. If your AI guy had that you. You're not suicidal, you're just your friends. What do we doing now? I need directions to Barrett Jackson. Oh, we are far from that, my friend. Oh, my God. Anyway, so, yeah, I want a Boston accent now. They've got. Oh, nobody's done that either. I'd rather have Indian. The suicide pot is for two people, and you can get one and build it yourself. And that's the thing. They've taken away the. The moral issue of, you know, and Kevorkian did it. And for those who don't know, Brady. Brady's mother was involved with Jack Kevorkian. Not in a sexual manner, perhaps. I don't know her whole story.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Dropped off one of her friends to Kevork and picked up the body. Right. Kevorkian's deal was.

[Brett]

Dropped her off at the hotel.

[John Holmberg]

He sets up the machine.

[Brett]

He had a apprentice, Basically.

[John Holmberg]

They go up, they get a hotel room. They set up the machine in the hotel room, tell her how it works. The lady is informed on it. She goes in, flips it on herself.

[Brett]

Yeah. She just. It's a.

[John Holmberg]

It's a syringe. Somebody has to administer the needle, though.

[Brett]

Drip.

[John Holmberg]

Correct.

[Brett]

They hook her. They hook her up.

[John Holmberg]

See, those days are over.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because that's the second person. So that's why Kevorkian was getting in trouble. It's like you are administering the needle that will kill them, which is malpractice. You're not supposed to want to kill the patient. So they were getting him for murder. They were trying Dr. Death. But now, if it's just a nitrogen tank, you get in, you turn the switch on yourself, and it's built just for you, by you. Nobody else is involved. It took out that whole murder aspect. It's. It's creepy, but in a weird way, you know, you get diagnosed with something, you don't want to fight. I'm a big one for. If I get that als, I'm going a little bit, but I'm not going to be, you know, on the news in that chair, talking through the computer. I'm not interested in that kind of world. So I'd climb in one of those pods for that.

[Brett]

Just being able to, I guess, figure that out in the process of it. If you have ALS and having the capacity.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure, you gotta get. You got to get to it before it wins. Yeah, you're in a race with als, Your hands start messing up. Yeah, we see als. Matt, he's super happy. He's still moving around. He's doing stuff, but, you know, he ain't winning. Haven't heard from him for a while either. I'm a Little worried about him. Have you heard from him?

[Brady]

No, and I've been. Any concerts lately?

[Brett]

Oh, boy.

[Brady]

Usually we run into his buddies there. Yeah, last time I heard about it was in November.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, good.

[Brady]

I ran into him at the Three Days Grace concert.

[John Holmberg]

He was there.

[Brady]

He was there.

[John Holmberg]

And he was still.

[Brady]

Still same, but. But still happy, you know?

[John Holmberg]

So that's good. Gotta stay that way. But, yeah, a couple more days, I'm getting in. That pot.

[Brady]

Smell like curry.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't blame him. And you can turn that off.

[Brady]

What? What? The curry fragrance.

[John Holmberg]

I am so sorry about this smell. The authenticity of making my voice have a scent was a bit too far, if you ask me, but okay, my friend. Yeah, Brett's just in there.

[JB Smoove]

Christ.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to the suicide fort, my friend. Stinks in here. No, no, no, no, no. That is a delightful meal. It does not stink. You are the only one who says that it stinks. Because I think it's. The aroma is fragrant. It is called effervescence, my friend.

[Brady]

I would rethink my decision at that point. No, no, no, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

I got to kill myself in a white pot. No, no, no, no, no. There is no better way to go. Their food does stink, though. He's not wrong. That's why I don't eat it. And before we move on with anything else, I got emails I want to read. This one says John. I hope you read this email. I'm a local. I listen every day. My brother lives in Chicago, is a podcast listener. He and his wife are putting their boxer down tomorrow, which is today. I was wanting to get a shout out for Dexter. Eight and a half years old, lived an amazing life. Dogs are literally the best part of this life, and it sucks when we lose. And, boy, that's fact. He was diagnosed with cancer in one of his back legs a couple of months ago. Nothing can be done. Snow spreads all over his body. He's not very mobile. I know you have a soft spot for the pups, and I just wanted to give my brother a little pick me up, as this is an obvious hard time for that family. Cheers to all the furry friends. Thanks, Tom. All right, well, we lift one up for Dexter and give some cookies. Hugs to our dogs in honor of Dexter. I've been through the cancer thing when we lose them a little early, and that is brutal, but Dexter's out there. So everybody who's got a dog, give him an extra hug today and recognize how lucky you are that they're in your life because they're the best and off of that lovely letter. This one starts off. Hey, dickhead.

[Brady]

Wow. All right.

[John Holmberg]

I listen on the podcast. I don't listen live anymore. QT bathrooms are so busy. We talked about this a couple days ago. Said because of people who work outside like myself, we don't have anywhere to go. Landscapers, mail carriers. That's me. Anyone who doesn't have a bathroom nearby has to use the qt. And it's a very public available bathroom. Large circle Ks offer bathrooms to the public and they're okay too. Everything else is a risk, though. Not everyone has a golden asshole like you.

[Brady]

Yeah, dickhead. Take notes and learn.

[John Holmberg]

Can we. Can we change my nickname from the Jew cuck liberal Howard Stern. Howard Stern wannabe to golden asshole? I would. The golden asshole. T shir 25 years.

[JB Smoove]

It's what?

[John Holmberg]

We're kind of the silver asshole, really? This year. But come on. If I could get known as the golden asshole of Phoenix, I that I might start crying the name of your bar. I personally have medical reasons when I need to go and I need to go right now. Love the show. I've listened for. I even listened six years when I moved away and then I came back. Matt A. The golden asshole is all I got out of this. I don't care where you take dumps, Matt. But first off, I pretty much will read every email that starts, hey, that's just human nature. Where's this going? So you got me with your. I believe that's called the salutation. No. Is that the greeting salutations at the end? Yeah, the greeting. Hey, like, all right.

[Brett]

Attention getting.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta read this. It wasn't even the subject line. Subject line was QT crappers only didn't say it as classy as that.

[JB Smoove]

That.

[John Holmberg]

So yeah, golden. I like that. I am Phoenix's golden. And I do have a golden. I can clinch it up during the day.

[Brady]

I just had.

[John Holmberg]

I'm on prednisone self prescribed.

[Brady]

Does that make you go?

[John Holmberg]

Makes you poop like a goose does.

[Brady]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

I was in the bathroom just a second ago. Cuz I sit to pee. Keep it classy. And I was like, oh, we almost had Johnny. Had to almost go over to the rental house, take a shower. It was close.

[Brady]

We got the shower downstairs.

[John Holmberg]

Not using it.

[Brett]

Ice cold.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Morning sickness, not using it. Next commercial break. If that were to have happened. But I was like, you know what? I locked it down. I locked it down. I sent it north because you can do that. Do you ever have that moment where it's like now, now, and you go. And you feel it go, Nope, nope. We retreat and it runs backwards. I did that and I feel fine. Mind over fecal matter. It's a thing. So, yes, the golden has spoken. And you guys just work harder on your butts. Kegel strength. John.

[Brady]

Don't walk around the Roosevelt district with that nickname.

[Brett]

All right?

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna change. It's gonna be. I need you to be quiet. In certain neighbor calling me that. There goes the golden lamb of God. Yeah, I like that.

[Brady]

I like that.

[Brett]

I'd be careful wearing that shirt.

[John Holmberg]

The golden. Yeah, it depends on where I'm walking around. Not going to do it in my cul de sac, that's for sure. Michael and Troy start seeing that the competition, and then you start getting into that golden brown. The G GA brand be like a hash browns.

[Brett]

What's the ga.

[John Holmberg]

It's my gold. It's. It's my nickname. I earned it. Yes. And don't yell at me anymore about having a really powerfully controlled anus like some of you guys don't. I work outside. I gotta drop deuces all day. And then you gotta. You got the Crohn's disease or whatever, sack it up. I don't know how it works, but watch what you eat. You know, Crohn's disease. I don't think you're supposed to go guzzling milk and coffee, but you probably do. It's your fault. Fault. The golden and I, we have an agreement. My says, hey, my. It's like the end of top Gun. I got your back. That's basically what he says. You could be my wing anytime. And we have an agreement. He's never going to let me down. I'm never going to let him down. Like, I'm not going to eat food that makes the golden say, hey, what are you doing to me, man? I've been good to you. I'm going to be smart about it. I don't eat chili.

[Brett]

Yeah. I'm more of a curry chicken.

[John Holmberg]

I don't eat curry. You and your asshole don't have a good relationship. You've abused it. You put things that make him work harder, and then he's just.

[Brett]

It's on me. I know it.

[John Holmberg]

And then he's got a slack jaw, and the next time he's got. I can't clench it up, man. You just keep powering through with fire drills.

[Brett]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

All those jalapenos fire really? Really? For me? Okay, well, Next time you are not gonna be able to clench me up. Cause I'm still breathing too hard. They're making me climb stairs. I asked. My golden asshole understands it. The golden sphincter is another one. If you want to keep it, keep it nicer. The golden cinnamon ring. I like what you people are doing. I have golden assholes. Golden, golden assholes. Nice. Listen to this one. You're gonna like this. This email I got on Wednesday, before I started to die, saved. Says Holmberg, Emergency. You know who I think of when I hear that word now? Gracie Higgins. Emergency. Emergency. Paging Dr. Beats. That girl. That AI girl that dances. All right. Yeah. Gotta watch her. Says emergency. In a horrible twist of all things awful. My world is now in turmoil and I need you. My wife and I were at dinner. My side piece walked in, went right by our table. I thought she'd be discreet. She wasn't. She stopped, says hello. I introduced them. Then the side piece's husband and son comes by. And my wife says, why don't you join us? Oh, she's one of those people.

[Brett]

Good times.

[John Holmberg]

I started sweating so hard. By the way, the husband is awesome. Anyway, just found out that the wife exchanged numbers with her and we're supposed to go out as couples night on Saturday. My wife really likes her. She says she feels like she knows her. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Says, oh, man, this can't end well, can it? What would you guys do? Brian, Scott, Todd, Gary. All fake names.

[Brady]

Call Kevin.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it works.

[Brady]

Get in that booth. Smell like curry in the suicide pot.

[John Holmberg]

It's over. You're done. Do they have a four man suicide pot? You're done. I need more. When she walked by to say hi, how did you act?

[Brett]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

What did you say? How do you know?

[Brett]

Friendship builds, and now you're.

[John Holmberg]

They're going to be pals.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it gets so low that radar can't detect. No, no.

[Brady]

Not with broads.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Maybe I'm just trying to. Positive. I'm trying to. There is no positive. Maybe this goes to a certain level where they get to be like, okay with the idea of the whole thing, but you're gonna have to nail that husband. Or hers. And then you start swinging.

[Brett]

When I was in high school, they were neighbors, and the. The couples hung out and they end up changing.

[John Holmberg]

They swapped out.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The wife with the husband. The husband with the wife.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Still there.

[Brett]

Still there and that. And they had. Both of them had kids. They were right around my age.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And now their stepbrothers. What's the house next door.

[John Holmberg]

What's with the side piece popping by the table?

[Brady]

You know she's a psycho if she's doing that.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's a.

[Brady]

That's why I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't you see Fatal Attraction? Go rent Fatal Attraction. It's an older movie now, but go rent Fatal Attraction. There's no worse scene than Ann Archer at that table with Glenn Close. And Michael Douglas walks in and she's in the house and she just looks back. Hello, Dan. It's like, oh, my God. Psycho.

[Brady]

Oh, like in. In Sopranos, when Gloria gives Carmela a ride home.

[John Holmberg]

Drove her home.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they liked each other.

[Brady]

You're cooked.

[John Holmberg]

You're cooked. Yeah. There's a whole myriad of reasons that this shouldn't have happened, but here we are. I gotta. Look, if you guys had dinner together and you ended up liking the husband. Are you gonna pal around? You can golf with the. He's gonna end up. I'm. I'm. You know what? I'm just gonna call Keith Morrison now, because you guys are a Dateline special. Just. It's the. It's the prequel. And then they had a nice dinner together. Or did they? They really seemed to hit it off. And that's when Doug said we should try something new and the wheels came off. You ever see a car?

[Brett]

Potential grift, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she can start getting them for cash. I'll tell her otherwise. Now that we're coming, what would you do? Jesus Christ. You pay or you pay her. You pay everything.

[Brady]

You're paying one way or another.

[John Holmberg]

You ever seen a car with loose lug nuts? If you've ever seen a car drive around with loose lug nuts, that's this guy's life. Gary, Todd, Scott, John, Jeff. You have loose lug nuts, and that doesn't lead to tightening. You know what never happens? Lug nuts never start twisting back on. You gotta tighten this ship up. Brady's right. I might get a call. So I need money. I don't know. What are you calling me for? Well, it's either give it to me or her, because she's about to. Okay. How much?

[Brady]

I don't need money. Well, I'll just call your wife for it.

[John Holmberg]

She's a psycho.

[Brett]

You find out that they're both in on over the husband.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. And that's been on a Dateline special that. That couples target a dude with money and get. And then seduce them. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, remember for a while there. There was that letter that was going around, that email to people. And they got a couple of athletes and the one pitcher for the A's or something was like, hey, I just got hit with this. It's a scam. But it was asking dudes for 10 grand. I know what you're doing. Oh yeah. It was really kind of ambiguous. I know what you're doing. And a couple people paid and they paid and they would send money to this guy. Send it right now and I won't say a word. I'm going to keep this under wraps. But I know exactly what you're doing. I know where you were, I know who you're doing it with. And dudes who were guilty would be like, oh no. And they were whoever the scam was making money. And then that baseball player was like, hey, this is a thing. Oh, scary.

[Brady]

Game over, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It says yeah Brett, you'll appreciate this. Steve Greenmire says tell dude he needs to talk the side chick down and have her back off. Like Ginger backed off Nikki in casino. That was. She started to talk about Talon and it was over. Tell that guy to cash out his 401k, fake his own death and get out of this country because he's about to lose everything, man. Yeah, the guy said not many things sound older than when you just said rent that movie. Well, you could still rent movies. You're the old one for thinking I'm in a videotape. That's all you do is rent movies.

[Brady]

You can get it on Amazon.

[John Holmberg]

Rent movies. Beerus, you're the old one for thinking I met meant VCRs.

[Brady]

Billy brings up a good point. No way the wife inside piece plan this out. They met there on purpose. It's a trap.

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

You can't help Matthew. It's a trap.

[Brett]

Got caught in the sting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. Yeah, but then they.

[JB Smoove]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Like did they sit and talk after? I can't believe that that though that idiot just sat there and acted like everything was fine. I know. Now he's friends with my husband. It's a trap. I don't know what you do. Gary, Scott, Todd, John, Jeff, Fake name. Thanks for including us in the mix. Now I feel like an accomplice. I had nothing to do with this.

[Brett]

Start the Venmo.

[John Holmberg]

I'm innocent. How do I suicide? Why do I feel like I have to start screwing? I didn't do anything. I'm not even in this and I'm screaming like I didn't do anything. I did nothing Here. I'm good not dealing with this. Said John, what if that guy is listening right now? That's a. He doesn't know that. Well, geez. I. Maybe if you. If you recently. If you're a dude listening and you recently just sat down with some strangers at a restaurant because your wife went over to talk to him and you're friends with him now. That dude.

[Brett]

That dude just give me a couple of phone calls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's just your wife, like crazy. And what is she doing? She's with her husband and her son drags him over to the table.

[Brady]

Marcus. Not our Marcus. But maybe the wife has by interest and this might turn into a swinger thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that's. You hope so.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Says, oh, this is from Showtime. The dude needs to secret secretly record their next encounter. And at least he'll have leverage on her too. She's got stuff to lose.

[Brady]

She does. But not as much as he does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because women win and.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, it's a good point. Yeah. She doesn't care if you. No, obviously she don't care if you expose her affair. She gets paid.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It'S a good point. And then that new cool guy you're friends with, he all of a sudden he's got money coming out of his pockets because he's like, what happened here? It's a good point. Yikes. Said. Maybe it was a side piece. And wife might know each other because vabbing perfume. There's a little mix of DNA and they can smell each other. That's disgusting. Also got a guy. Scott Haynes. Says I have Crohn's disease and I work outside and I've never had to use a public bathroom. Lock it up. Yeah, tighten that thing up back there. Man. That is a. I don't even want to know what you're dealing with, but I'm sorry, you have it. Maybe you can Eiffel Tower. The side piece. That's from Kellen Cooper. That's. I mean, most people are just saying. All right, well, you're hoping for the.

[Brady]

Best with that one.

[John Holmberg]

But that's not sliding glass doors are open. Run outside, I guess. Yeah, I like that. Leave. Pull it. Toledo's dad and just disappear. This guy Andre says, wait a minute. I did just go out with my wife and I met her guy friend from work. Signed office white guy. Thank you. Andre says the wife knows. Dude, they're making you squirm. Women are cruel and unusual creatures.

[Brett]

That could be too.

[John Holmberg]

They work at creating stress so your life ends earlier. Men prefer just to punch things in the face. Women prefer to watch Them dwindle and die.

[Brett]

Watch him squirm when you come to the table.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you.

[Brett]

She had to just spend kind of time.

[JB Smoove]

You know what?

[Brett]

She's neat. We're gonna go have coffee. Oh, that's great, honey.

[John Holmberg]

Why would the side piece want that? Why would she be in on that? Helping her out, who knows of the situation?

[Brett]

The side piece wanted more, and it's.

[John Holmberg]

Starting like, hey, she's got her husband there again. Yeah, like Brett said, side pieces. Like, I went either way. Yeah, like, we screw this guy and my marriage ends. Whatever. I'll get paid.

[Brett]

That's a.

[John Holmberg]

That's a double win. This is. This man must be a doctor or an engineer or something. Matthew Smith says, don't fall for the crotch sauce, bro. Ditch that. Well, that's. I don't know what therapy school you went to, but it's Harvard. I'm thinking probably Yale, for sure. You're Ivy League. There's no way you're not in the Ivy League. Probably Stanford. Something with words like that. I mean, he's talking over my head.

[Brett]

That sounds Cornell to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's Cornell. That's a Cornell move. Well, the crotch sauce, that's. I think that's their football team. Although the Crimson, that's Harvard. And that's very crotch sauce colored, so that's gross. Yeah, that made me untouched. Yikes.

[Brady]

It. It's. It's Paxton and aliens. They're in the walls, man.

[JB Smoove]

Game over. Game over.

[John Holmberg]

It's bad. Yeah, it's game over. This guy says, hey, golden always it. You wash your hands every 10 minutes, you're the only one in the show that gets sick. I've been sick. In two years, it says, you're no longer the golden asshole. You're now the germaphobe Jew. Hey, I don't like that one. I don't wash my hands every 10 minutes. Not much on. I wash my hands twice, three times a day. I just wipe my ass. And you know what, Hector? I know that. Me talking about having a clean ass, that if it makes you mad, it's because you've got rust butt, and you've got to hide your underwear from people. That's a fact. The germaphobe Jew. The germaphobe Jew's funny. I will hand that to you. I do like that. But golden asshole's better than germaphobe Jew, and I'm not a germaphobe. You guys, anyone who confuses my anal cleanliness with germaphobe, it tells me everything I need to Know about you. Guy watches his ass a lot. Yeah, and where's the problem there? If you're bothered by me washing my ass on a regular basis, I know what your underwear looks like.

[Brett]

You're gross.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're gross. Your wife looks at your laundry all the time. Well, I was talking to some girl down here in the sales department the other day. She said she had a friend who's dating a guy, and they started to hang out and they went to the house together and he stayed there a couple times and he left his. Left his pants. And she goes, I'll be nice and I'll do his laundry. And she looked down and she's like, there's the longest skitter I've ever seen in my life in this guy's underwear. Broke up with him right away. Wash your ass. That's not germaphobe. That's called hygiene. You're always talking about. No, the only thing I talk about that in detail of that is after every douche, you should take a shower. That should happen. Some of us can't. Well, then tighten up your butthole and make it so you are shower adjacent after each tooth.

[Brady]

Some of us have to dump a qt, bro.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't have to have a.

[Brady]

Golden asshole like you.

[John Holmberg]

I do have a golden asshole, and that is a beautiful thing. And I'm not gonna apologize for a golden. I got a brown mucky mud. Like, okay, that's not something I'd be bragging about or fighting a guy who's like, that's a golden. My car's filthy all the time. You keep your car too clean like that. I'm gonna keep my way. The golden asshole is gold and it's awesome. Oh, twist. Chris Parker has a twist on the story. He says, what?

[Brady]

Parker?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he knows on the couples. What if the side chick and her husband is already hooking up with that guy's wife? Side chick might have tried to get. Oh, what if. Ah, you're the only one who doesn't know that's another one. So side piece and the wife are probably bumping uglies too. We're going to drag you into it.

[Brady]

You're hoping, but that's not the case.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not the case. What if it is on face value, everything it says it is, and they just, hi. And then the wife's like, sit down. And they get along. And it's like, nobody knows anything.

[Brett]

It's still a couple. Operates different. They're not really. They're not overly addressed side piece Right off the bat. And then let's bring the husband into the mix. They're like, let's.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, swingers. Swingers get into that.

[Brett]

They start pretty close right away. Right.

[John Holmberg]

But she would have probably offered it up that, like, my husband's fine with this, like, and if you want to, you know, get involved, like, that would have been after a while, I would assume. I don't know. I don't know swingers. That. I don't. I know a couple of people who have been in the lifestyle.

[Brett]

I know a couple people that went out to dinner, you know, with the. Another couple, and they rolled it out.

[John Holmberg]

They'll bring it up. Yeah. You live and they call it the life.

[Brett]

And a few guys. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard people say, well, I was in the lifestyle. I don't know what that is. I'm not. I don't have. I don't even know if I have a lifestyle, let alone the lifestyle. I don't think I have a lifestyle. I dress like I'm 11. I watch a lot of weird stuff on TV. And it's a lifestyle. Is it? Not one that you'd brag about, Jerome. I mean, just being alive, you have a lifestyle, but not one that would be like, someone to write about on the Internet and start a community doing the same thing. That's crazy. Anyway, well, good luck. Gary, Todd, John, Jeff, Larry, Bob. Fake name guy. Let us know how that ends, please.

[Brady]

Because your heart may end, and we may not find the ending that.

[John Holmberg]

That dinner that shaved eight years off. There's no way his heart. His heart aged eight years at that dinner. However old you are, add eight to your heart because it. It took a beating. And every time that phone rings, if they talk again, if you're. And you're supposed to go to dinner tomorrow. Oh, where are you having dinner? I'm gonna. I'll be there, too. I'm gonna sit close.

[Brett]

It was the most uncomfortable I've ever.

[JB Smoove]

Been in a McDonald's.

[Brady]

I was trying to eat my riblets, and it just.

[JB Smoove]

You know.

[John Holmberg]

So you guys are saying it's a classy operation. The kids were there, kid was there. How old was the kid? No, it's brutal. Anyway, Brett. Yeah. We're not making this better. None of it. Like, our reaction. I think the guy wanted actual help, and we're telling him kill himself. I think that's.

[Brady]

I think that's the only option at this point. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This one says swingers don't do side pieces without being straight up about it.

[Brett]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's. I think they mentioned it too. Yeah, I think that's. Hey, Golden. Keep it tight. All you want. Emergencies happens. Why? I carry dude wipes. No, they don't. I don't have emergencies. My anus and I have an agreement. It's a contract. There will be no emergencies. That means your butt's too loose. Emergency. Clinch it up. What are you eating? There's your emergency. Can always track back to something you did. It's like 14 burritos. It's an emergency. You did that to yourself.

[Brady]

If you're eating up the shayna truck.

[John Holmberg]

That rolls up, then you know it's not an emer. And if you have an emergency, you're sick. Go home.

[Brett]

Couple sets of zingers and some Red Bull.

[Brady]

That green chili burrito didn't help much, but yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Ate a red. Red Bull, a Red Bull, some prednisone and some jalapeno zingers. And then my body failed me. It was an emergency. You did that? That you. You create. If I light a fire, it's not an emergency. It's arson. The only emergency. It's for the neighbors because their house is now in jeopardy. You did that to you? Yeah. You don't know Applebee's burgers. They cut in half and put in the queso. I had to have that hour later Emergency. No, I don't. Red. Run red lights and tell everybody else it's their fault for doing it, right? The golden asshole thrives.

[Brady]

The golden asshole has spoken.

[John Holmberg]

The golden ass. We need an echo. The golden asshole has spoken. You're welcome, Phoenix. Wash your ass. Why is that bad? Advice to. Why do people get mad at it? Keep your ass cleaner.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, you just think it's all purple.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. How dirty is your ass? That. That made you mad? Not all of us have the ability to keep a clean ass bragger. It's hilarious. So many dudes. It's only. It's only 7:30 and you've already got skid marks on your pants. And you're yelling at me. Come on, mop it up. Good to go. Scott Taylor. I know. Downstairs. He's a nightmare. And he's Mormon. He's got that magic underwear with Skidmore. He's making God extra, man. Joseph Smith is like, come on, man.

[Brady]

Moroni's a little pissed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's gonna blow that horn early. What do you got there, Brett?

[Brady]

All right, wake up song time. And we got all kinds of stuff. Fear Factory cars for Barrett Jackson, AC dc, Nirvana, the warning Sick Corn, Twisted Transistor. Danko Jones Avatar White Zombie. A mirror, Fozzie Leonard, Skynyrd. That smell for vapping. Vapping Papa Roach. Even if it killed me. And Megadeth covered Metallica's Ride the Lightning. We've had a couple people ask for that. Yeah, it's new. Yeah, it's on the new album.

[John Holmberg]

So Dave's bitter enough to start doing this covering Metallica. Is it good? Let's listen. I'm just curious. Didn't he say it was his idea.

[Brett]

He shreds this song?

[John Holmberg]

That was his song?

[Brady]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

He's mouthed off about this before.

[Brady]

You want to do it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I want to do it.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Megadeth covered and they let him. You have to get permission to do this, I guess.

[Brett]

Unless. Well, I'm saying, pretty ballsy. Did have something to do with the song.

[John Holmberg]

You'd still have to ask anybody else credit it. That's ballsy. It's an interesting. Well, let's see what he did with it. All right, there you go. I don't know what his. Right. He wasn't on this one.

[Brady]

Not on the Metallica version, no.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here it is. Ride the Lightning from the Mustang version. All right, let's see. All right, go get him at your wake up song. Arizona most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? And it is time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] AllProchade.com will cover you up. Put that shade on your back patio. Maybe even get your windows covered if you got the glare coming in. Or glare on a TV on your back patio. You can get your outdoor living space. Tip top with our [e-mail] head over there right now. Allprochade.com's where you go. Brady reported.

[Brett]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix.

[JB Smoove]

Hello, world.

[Brett]

We've made it.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brett]

Happy National PI Day.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't PI Day March 14th?

[Brady]

It's always pie.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, because it's pie. Well, I know he loves pie, but.

[Brett]

3:14 is medical day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's when everybody gets pie as the joke. That's what? That you're not going to go buy a math?

[Brett]

Well, I didn't make this up.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you did. You're gonna say it's PI day again on March 14, and then they have the huge pie sales out at that place off the i17. That's PI Day.

[Brady]

Rock City.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. Rock City. Rock City. Super Pies. What was it?

[Brett]

Black Canyon?

[Brady]

Yeah, it's up by Black.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know either way.

[Brady]

Rockridge.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Rock Ridge. They have a new sheriff. That's right.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's close.

[Brady]

He's near.

[John Holmberg]

He's near for sure. Very sure.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't pie day anyway. PI Day is March 14. Today is artificial. Well, it's artificial Pie day. This is not a. Like. What are you, Marie Callender?

[Brett]

I'm just reporting it.

[John Holmberg]

No, look into it. Find out why today is PI Day. If PI. The only day that makes sense is March 14th. Yeah.

[Brett]

Maybe pie wants to be separated from the mathematical pie.

[John Holmberg]

Pie wants to be. No pie for pie. E. Pie day.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Stupid. This is proof. These days, he's like. He comes up like pepperoni pizza day. Like eight or nine. I think he's just doing it himself. So somebody gives cheese pizza.

[Brett]

There's pepperoni.

[John Holmberg]

I. On the way home, Brady goes, hi, I'm Brady from the Morning Cup. I don't know if you were listening to the program this morning, but it is PI Day, and I'm here as an influencer to test out your pies. And they got a case of pie Day. Sure is Tong. You have a shrimp, a pie, a broccoli pie. Tong's pies are gross. Grass and wheat pie. What kind of pies do they have over there at Viet Shack? No pie, no pie. They're pieless. They're a pie less community.

[Brett]

Yeah, as far as I know.

[John Holmberg]

Know they. They're good with PI. 3.14. You know, being Asian and all. That's math. It is not PI day. Don't. It's not. All right, it's January 21st. Doesn't make some. 1, 2, 3. Not PI Day. Jackson 5, Day 1, 2, 3. ABC.

[Brett]

Lynn B. Johnson had a couple of beagles. When he's president, their names, him and her.

[John Holmberg]

I like that.

[Brett]

The British had 500,000 cats enlisted in their army during World War I, mostly to kill rats. On ships and at their bases. One of them, named Simon, even got a medal of valor for surviving a brutal attack and continuing to kill rats.

[John Holmberg]

Nice job, Simon. That's good pussy.

[Brett]

Starbucks at the CIA headquarters doesn't write people's names on the cups. Protect their identities.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The ice box kicked in here. Parker, for Christ's sake.

[John Holmberg]

It's ridiculous. Oh, my God.

[Brett]

Hewlett Packard could have Been called Packard Hewlett, Bill Hewlett and David Packard. Flipped a coin.

[John Holmberg]

That's the way you should do it. That's what friends do.

[Brett]

That's how we did it for the morning show.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. It was almost Bogan's morning sickness. We flipped.

[Brady]

It's got a ring to it.

[John Holmberg]

Thank Christ it came up the way it did.

[Brady]

I feel like Frankie Carbone in the back.

[John Holmberg]

It is chilly and it's a little cold. Stupid. We got a problem. Well, it's good that we have the air conditioning on because it's 52 outside. Can't turn it off. Don't know how.

[Brett]

It's our cold front. We're shutting down flights.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's.

[Corey Thriller]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

There's the Arctic blast that's going. You walk in the room, it's ice cold. By the way, I got an email from a guy who says I'm right about it's your fault when you have butt emergencies and we have a new drop for it. Says, I ate two hot dogs from a truck stop once on a trip. Bad idea. And they hit. Hit the spot when I ate them, but ended up dropping a load on the side of the street behind a tree. I always have diaper wipes just in case I need them for my face and hands. But luckily I had them in the center console and they came in handy for that.

[JB Smoove]

That.

[John Holmberg]

But you're right, John. I had no one to blame but me. And every time you write a story to me about how you pooped and you have an emergency, I will tell you it was not an emergency. It's your own doing. The golden asshole has spoken. There we go. Thank you. I like that every time I make a salient point on this show, the golden has spoken. I like how it calls me asshole. Nothing AI can't do.

[Brett]

A Delta Airlines plane had to return to the gate on Sunday after de icing fluids leaked through the exterior of the plane, soaked a passenger inside. It was at LaGuardia Airport. Passengers told the flight crew the plane was leaking. The pilot asked to turn back to the gate, told air traffic control the passenger was okay, but probably needs a new pair of pants.

[John Holmberg]

Sure he got de iced.

[Brady]

Yep, the plane was vapping.

[Brett]

Luckily, it's non hazardous, so they say. Yeah, they were three hours late. They had to change the plane.

[John Holmberg]

All right, January 23rd is considered national Pie Day simply because it was declared by a pie lover named Charlie Papazian. And Brady Bogus, the man in 1970s, he wanted to celebrate his birthday, so he told Everybody that the holiday later officially adopted and promoted by the American Pie Council because he wouldn't leave him alone. All right.

[Brett]

Get Charlie off her ass.

[John Holmberg]

It's a fun way to enjoy everyone's favorite dessert. He was a nuclear engineer and home brewer. I want everyone to eat pies on my birthday.

[Brett]

The first huge trend of 2026. Whimsy is trending. Google says searches for it are at all time high. The definition is behavior that is unusual, playful, unpredictable.

[John Holmberg]

Wednesday whimsical. By the way, it's Rock Springs pie.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And it is good. They have some good stuff out there. I stopped ironically on Real PI Day once I was up there at. I was in Sedona off roading with some people from out of town. Came back and had Rock Springs pie and it was packed on March 14th. Insane. You got like. Like it was a buy one, get one. They couldn't keep up.

[Brady]

I still like Rock Ridge better.

[John Holmberg]

Rock Ridge pies is good.

[Brett]

They should change.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And just have the pie and the sheriff and Black Bart pie.

[Brett]

Oh, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

Name the pie. Name them after Blazing Saddle Stuff Headley.

[Brett]

The French Lama. The French Silk Mistake.

[Brady]

The French.

[John Holmberg]

That's. I like that.

[Brett]

There's a new term that's trending called house burping. It's when you open the front door in the windows and back to let the fresh air in to breathe. You're burping the house. I read this like Germans do this or something.

[John Holmberg]

Creates a whole wind stream right back to front.

[Brett]

There's a flight attendant that was worked for a Canadian Airlines for a couple years and then he stopped. But he kept his credentials and he kept using it to fly in the co pack and the co pilot seat. Like when they're.

[John Holmberg]

He's up in the cockpit.

[Brett]

Yep. And flying in regular cabin, extra room.

[John Holmberg]

He's got free flights for four years.

[Brett]

They finally busted him in Panama. It's almost like the Frank Abag now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's not his fault.

[Brett]

Millions of dollars. Not on him, is it?

[John Holmberg]

Millions. Well, how often was he flying?

[Brett]

He flew all over the world.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't have a job anymore.

[Brett]

No. For. And so for four years he was using the credentials as a off duty. I'm an off duty airline pilot.

[John Holmberg]

You said he was a stewardess?

[Brett]

Well, he had documents that were saying that he was a flight attendant originally.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a stewardess man or woman. That's called the stewardess for Canadian Airlines. I don't know why that offends them. It's not a bad word, Jill. Who Used to be a stewardess. Works downstairs. He said, oh, that's when you were a stewardess. Oh, she gets really mad. That's the why. It's the N word of the air. I don't understand it. They get so upset and now and because of it, I just. I say it more like. That's not a bad word. It doesn't sound subservient or submissive. It's not stewardess. Big deal.

[Brett]

The authorities in upstate New York are currently searching for a man who skipped a court appearance earlier this week. They looked at a tracking the tracking data from his GPS ankle monitor realized he apparently cut it off and attached it to a dog.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez.

[Brett]

Future's name is Lamont Holmes. It's supposed to be. I knew.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. It doesn't mean anything, Brett. Okay, sure, we'll see. Do we have a pict?

[Brett]

I know Lamont and he's in court for appearing on.

[John Holmberg]

He gets too excited over these things. You dummy. Put it on the dog, dummy. I see. Come on, put it on the dog. See, Pop, I gotta get out of here sometime. I can't leave with this ankle breath. Put that stupid ankle bracelet on the dog, dummy. That's a great idea, Pop. Sanford and sun fans loving every second of this timely reference.

[Brett]

That is a solid Lamont.

[JB Smoove]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

I do a good Lamont. Listen up, Pop. Lamont, you big dummy. You got yourself an egg breath in the first place. We need a dog, Pop.

[Brett]

We got another perp. James Duncan. He's in trouble for doing upskirt shots. He's filming with his phone in Church.

[John Holmberg]

Oops.

[Brett]

21 year old kids looking at a couple of years. They. They got his phone and everything. That's the dude.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's Lamont Holmes. No, that's not Lamont. Come on. Brett's offended. That looks like Brady's neighbor.

[JB Smoove]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

I am offended. Yeah, I, I want to see a picture of Lamont Holmes immediately. Like just google Lamont Holmes and see if, if, see if there's anybody who shouldn't be there. All right?

[Brady]

It's gonna be like suspicion which one doesn't belong.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna see the one and the one cop. That one guy. Wait a minute. That's not right. There's no Lamont Holmes.

[Brett]

We got a 24 year old guy in Missouri facing charges after he sold the same two cars multiple times. He'd sell them to the person and then immediately steal it back. Oh, his name is Mamadou Diallo. Cops in Kansas City said Google that one. Yeah, that between May and June of last year, he sold the car. Sold two cars, at least eight different. To eight different people. 2013 Honda Civic and a 2013 Buick Verano. The cops caught him after they got the eight different stolen vehicles. Reported very similar. But this lady saw the car that she bought relisted on, like, oh, geez.

[John Holmberg]

So she saw it immediately.

[Brett]

She set up another thing, and he didn't realize that she was the first.

[John Holmberg]

One that bought Brady. Look at these. Look at the screen for one search. 13th innocent Marine named Lamont Holmes. And he's white, which. Which I would have lost that bet, by the way.

[Brett]

These are all different Lamont Homes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Not one. Not one duplicate.

[Brett]

Nailed it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the one Marine one looks like C.J.

[Brett]

Stroud.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, Lamont Holmes is not a name that Brady's neighbors give each other. Like there was Lamar Hoyt, the former pitcher for the White Sox. That sounded either hillbilly, like you give that one.

[Brady]

Hillbilly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Very hillbilly.

[Brett]

If Kirby was a boy, we're Lamont Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

Was Lamont one of them you're gonna go with? Yeah. Well, why don't you just call her that? Anyway, you could have done both.

[Brady]

Go through the Gilbert White Pages. There's not one Lamont. No.

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah, and if you def. We're calling that guy.

[Brett]

Lamont Monty Holmes.

[Brady]

That's the dog.

[Brett]

That's the dog.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The dog's name's Lamont. The guy's name is Monty Holmes. That picture had a Rottweiler in it. That dog, dogs. The Rottweiler's name's Lamont. I'm Maddie Holmes. This is my dog, Lamont. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell. They're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, get off that page. We're gonna lose them for some science.

[Brady]

News, God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good. Get off here. Why does he get such a kick out of that?

[Brett]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan with your science news.

[John Holmberg]

What color is the sky? Oh, my God.

[Brett]

NASA still hasn't said what the medical emergency was that forced the space station crew to come home early.

[John Holmberg]

It's an std.

[Brett]

And none of them are talking.

[John Holmberg]

Why else. Why else wouldn't you. It has to be an std. You would have talked about it.

[Brett]

One of the astronauts, Xena Cardman, said the ultrasound was very helpful up there.

[John Holmberg]

It's an std.

[Brett]

Well, the rumor was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, pregnant.

[JB Smoove]

Pregnant.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they wouldn't send three back for a pregnancy, right?

[Brett]

Well, to identify the father, they had.

[John Holmberg]

To My guess is there was a love triangle that nobody knew about. And then they weren't up in space.

[Brett]

For, like, long enough.

[John Holmberg]

They can't get along well enough anymore. And they said to send three of them back.

[Brady]

Here's what she looks like.

[John Holmberg]

There's sex on the plane in space. That starts looking pretty good. Pretty, pretty good. Xena. And Xena probably was getting a little lonely. Broke up with one guy, started hosing another. Next thing you know, everybody's got the herpes. They tell NASA like, you guys are. Yeah, what are you doing up there? Like, three of you are coming back. And they left the one guy up there, like, I didn't bone anybody. I didn't know we were allowed.

[Brett]

A team at Stanford found a way to regrow cartilage and stop arthritis so knee replacements could become a thing of the past.

[John Holmberg]

Fantastic. Right on time. I've only got 4 fake joints in AI news chat.

[Brett]

GPT. Is it already more creative than the average human? A study found that the answer is maybe just based on a specific test they did. It would beat in a test where you'd list 10 words that are as different from each other as possible. But the most creative people were still way better than the AI.

[John Holmberg]

For now.

[Brett]

Yeah. In Australia, a study found that giant kangaroos from 50,000 years ago were probably still able to hop even though they weighed over 500 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that would be awesome.

[Brett]

The kangaroos today, kangaroos max out about 200.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, there's. They're. You don't want to mess with them because with the ones I saw in Australia, they're everywhere. You have to kind of seek them out in little spots, but when you see them, they're like, tons of them. I saw one crossing the street, and his name, they called him Big Jim. There he goes, mate. Look at Big Jim. Like, what's that? It's a kangaroo. Lives around here. He was 6ft tall. I think he was 170 or 180 pounds. And he was shredded. And you could see it from the cafe. We were sitting Bowen, just walking across the road, like, that is Big Jim. Like, oh, that's awesome. And they know him because he's so different than all the rest. From a distance, you looked at him and went, that is nothing to scratch.

[Brett]

Kick.

[Brady]

He is a.

[John Holmberg]

A beast. Big Jean. He wasn't that big. So they just pulled up a picture of one on steroids. But Big Jim was just tall.

[Brett]

Look at that one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just his back legs were huge. Kangaroos are so cool when you see them in person. And not like zoo person like in their natural. It is just. They own that space for a second and you can tell when there's a. Yeah. And forearms. Yeah. No, they're huge. But they're about six feet. And they look like they're not comfortable on their own legs. But then they start hopping and they just. It is they miles forward.

[Brett]

That's your science news.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If it wasn't for that damn flight, I'd go back there all the time. I loved it over there.

[Brady]

How long is that flight?

[John Holmberg]

Sixteen and a half hours. Brutal.

[Brett]

Long flight.

[Brady]

Yeah. Brutal.

[Brett]

64 year old Jeff Seamus claims he has the world's oldest snowball which just turned 50 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Ready? Did you do research on this?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Is it real snow? Please say it's real snow.

[Brett]

No, it's what you think. Snowball that he made on February 5, 1976.

[John Holmberg]

Not getting easier.

[Brett]

His mom put it in a skippy peanut butter jar because mom's involved.

[John Holmberg]

Oh Jesus.

[Brett]

She passed away in 2017. Found it in the freezer. He kept it going.

[Corey Thriller]

93.

[Brady]

3.

[John Holmberg]

God.

[Brady]

I got some of that later.

[John Holmberg]

You got a snowball.

[Brady]

Kinda what you'll see.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no. Your videos. I almost forgot.

[Brett]

This happened in Canada at a massive winter storm. Just like we're experiencing in some of the eastern part of United States. A lot of flights being canceled.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

This guy decided to save a little money and turn the heat off the cold temperatures. Pipes burst in his apartment and it.

[John Holmberg]

Looked like it's a show.

[Brett]

Crystal Palace.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it blew up the crystal snow.

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's kind of nice.

[Brett]

Drier just.

[John Holmberg]

Everything just went kind of glitter bombed him with frost. We get a video of that or you just.

[Brett]

There's still shot pictures that. But it was from. Not today. It was yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brett]

Let's get to the Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

I just have one.

[John Holmberg]

That's another thing we don't have to do here.

[Brady]

What's up?

[John Holmberg]

Ever worry about our pipes freezing? Like this is such a great place to live. And everybody that says bad things. I'm like just. Just think about that. Tripp had to fly back to Maryland to get his house prepared for this storm.

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like there's nobody that goes in to make sure I get everything in there. You know who I blame for this? I'm like no. Larry. And then he just got in a plane. He flew back to Maryland to make sure that his place was in order. And then he's got to chase out before the storm gets there. He's stuck as I left there. I was there a couple weeks ago. It was one and then the high temperature was 10. I know me like he has it for like summer because it's close to his family and stuff like that's insanity. And he's got to fly out there and just shut pipes and his. Well has to be.

[Brady]

I'd move my family.

[John Holmberg]

We know exactly. We. It's got to be cheaper to just get people to a good here. This girl I know from Montana, her parents just moved here because they're done. They came once and they're like, what the. Why are we living in that?

[Brett]

Just there. My cousin's got horses and so they have to. They have to add on to the.

[John Holmberg]

Barn because the wind was going to.

[Brett]

Come around and kill the horse.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just move. Move. Well, there's here. I mean I don't want everybody to find out about it, but I understand why you don't look around. We're not the only ones. Palm Springs, Texas. And Texas is going to get hit too. But like you know, know there's tons of spots like this. Just stop living in that. Turn your pipes off. Cuz it. It's terrible. Okay.

[Brett]

The Brady video is a one on one soccer game between Brady's favorite.

[John Holmberg]

I saw this yesterday versus Tim. This is. Well, wait, the science is still on. It's two insanely crippled people. And one kicks the soccer ball and.

[Brett]

Faces turns into a MMA fighter.

[John Holmberg]

And then the guy runs over and like the one cripple who can't walk. His legs are.

[JB Smoove]

Run.

[Brady]

You said run.

[John Holmberg]

It's spinning wheel, spinning leg kick. It's two insanely crippled people. It's just two pretzels with heads. And one of them whips his little body and his dead leg smashes the other guy in the face with a soccer ball.

[Brett]

That's more power behind that kick than I thought he'd ever get.

[John Holmberg]

I'm more worried that this town has two of those. What is in the water?

[Brett]

They're brothers.

[John Holmberg]

Other than human twins.

[Brett]

They drank out of the same, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, Spring of human. That's got to be what it is. But you can't have two people drink.

[Brett]

Out of Pretzel Springs.

[John Holmberg]

Exact same disease. Yeah, it's Auntie Ann Springs. Turns people into heads and pretzels and that's all they are. And they're in like.

[Brett]

And then dad came in. All right, all right, shop's open. Let's get to work.

[John Holmberg]

Like Mom's an octopus and dad's.

[Brady]

That guy's laughing in the background.

[John Holmberg]

Of course he is. You can't not watch pretzels fight.

[Brett]

He's the one able bodied person in that town.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's crazy. It was a great kick though. I mean, the fact that he can kick is amazing.

[Brett]

And then somebody gave an AI video for Brady. They sent this over.

[John Holmberg]

Is it grilling?

[Brett]

Look at the size.

[John Holmberg]

Grilling. He's grilling a 30 foot hot dog. Chili dog the size of a kayak bun. The exact same length, just like a glove.

[JB Smoove]

We're working on it.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's enough.

[Brady]

That was Lamont Holmes.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. Did you hear Brady just shouting words? Quizzy, that's a hot dog. Sidewalk eggs. It's not even real.

[Brett]

That's real.

[John Holmberg]

No. All right, what do you got, Brett? Oh, just Friday morning. I can't ignore our Friday videos are always bad.

[Brett]

Start with this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a lady with her butt in the air. And another. She's got a mouth. Hold on. Oh, she's farting into the mouth of another woman. And there's milk coming out. Oh, she fed her milk. Milk through the butthole.

[Brett]

I wonder if that was whole or 2%.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, look at how clean it is. Oh, just so much milk coming out.

[Brett]

Oh, coconut.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that would be the only thing that makes it worse. I'd rather lick the butt than.

[Brady]

There's cussing in this one, so be careful.

[John Holmberg]

I turned it down. Here's another one. There's multiple people Bellagio ing milk out of butts into another person's mouth. What's happening out there?

[Brett]

Any of the characters in here?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, Brady, I don't. I think that's Velma and Shaggy. Oh, man.

[Brady]

Here's a good one.

[John Holmberg]

All right, what.

[Brett]

What's your price to film?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a rosebud and a guy's putting his pee pee on top of a woman's rose butted butt. It's exposed. Like it looks like a. You know what? It actually kind of looks like one of those beautiful cactus blooms on her. And he's. And that guy's mashing it back in. Yeah, he's like a doctor. He's pushing her rosebud back in. And now she's back to normal. Yeah, if you don't count her nice guy. If you don't count how much her dad affected her. She's completely back to normal now. All right, next.

[Brady]

Here's a glow in the dark party.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so we got black light. Okay, this lady's covered in milk or something and she's got some piston like tube with a wiener on the end of It. That's choking her to death. Oh, my God. That thing must be 10 inches long. She's got this black light on her. So all the stuff, it's pink and it's glowing. The sounds of love. Let me hear that one more time because these. These are now known as the sounds of love. This does. God. The sounds of love. It says.

[Brady]

All right, put your seat belts on for this one.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, next up, we got a lady with a man's arm all the way in up to the elbow. Look at that. That's a.

[Brett]

What the.

[JB Smoove]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

Some sort of weird. Like a bee stunger on the vagina. She's got a bee sting where it counts. And now there's. I don't know what's going on down there. Looks like when the sausages are in their cases. What is that thing, man? It's like a pile of dog poop.

[Brett]

It is. It's like the prank one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it looks like a top of an ice cream. I don't know what that is. I've never seen one of those before.

[JB Smoove]

I haven't either.

[John Holmberg]

I don't ever want to see.

[Brady]

We're learning today.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're not done. Here's an Asian lady. Hands and knees with her clothes. She looks nervous. Something's in front of her. Oh, there's a butt. Oh, it's butt milk again. Three guys, butts filled with milk. Maybe girls. Okay, okay. And they're milk shooting. Where did this come from?

[JB Smoove]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

This is three videos of milk coming.

[Brady]

Out of box from two different guys that are sending it to me, too.

[John Holmberg]

So it's milk, Dustin. Thank you, Chris. Thank you very much. All right. Wow.

[Brady]

All right. And then we'll just. End city.

[John Holmberg]

Five million people, I guarantee you. Brady, you've shook hands with somebody out there. Yes, they are.

[Brady]

This is how ramen's made.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I hate Asian video.

[Brett]

I should get the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. There's noodles. It's a close up of somebody's anus and there's noodles coming out of them onto a plate. Please don't do this onto a plate. It is a voluminous amount of noodles coming out of this lady's butt. It looks like she's got. It's. It's Alfredo, though. Yeah. Oh, that's it. Yeah. Okay. Thank God someone. I thought an Asian was going to eat that. That they love noodles or an Italian. Oh, it's like mama's sauce. All right, thanks for all that.

[Brady]

Hey, no problem.

[John Holmberg]

Save a good one for JB Smooth. He's coming in here.

[Brady]

Oh, we got tons.

[John Holmberg]

JB Smooth is going to be with us. Where is he? Downtown. Stand Up Live. He's at Stand Up Live Downtown this weekend. We'll talk to him. You know him from Curb your enthusiasm and my God, he's been in everything. He's a spokesperson for Verizon Wireless, if I'm not mistaken. Is that the one he does? Does he and Ted Danson? It's in all the commercials. JB's going to be in here in just a little bit. We'll chat with him next. There goes your Brady Report. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? You can wear those if you want to. Hey, everybody. There's no reason to waste time with what I consider to be one of my favorite television characters in the history of tv, Leon Black. JB Smoove is here. Stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow if you want to go there. Standuplive.com and welcome JB.

[JB Smoove]

Hey, man. It's good to be here, man. Look at this. Beautiful out here.

[John Holmberg]

Gorgeous.

[JB Smoove]

It's my first time in a long time coming out here when it wasn't 120. Yeah, this is like.

[John Holmberg]

It's perfect.

[JB Smoove]

This is almost like. Open the fridge.

[Brett]

Fridge.

[JB Smoove]

Get some. Get some juice out, brother. You know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

It's the refrigerator aisle at the grocery store.

[JB Smoove]

This is perfect.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a perfect day. And it's better than everywhere else. It's like 400 below zero. Everywhere but here today.

[JB Smoove]

Everywhere else is crazy right now, you know? You know, everywhere else. I've been on my birthday tour. I was off a whole month.

[John Holmberg]

When's your birthday?

[JB Smoove]

December 16th.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're still on it.

[JB Smoove]

Just got back last week.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Full month. What was it?

[JB Smoove]

City, no damn stuff. Snow. No snow. No snow.

[John Holmberg]

You went there hoping you couldn't even.

[JB Smoove]

Get icing your drink. That's how bad it was.

[Brett]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible. Didn't even.

[JB Smoove]

Water, just barren. Just like. Oh, nothingness, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, and then I went to. I did go. I did go cold, hot, cold.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[JB Smoove]

I went to. To Deer Valley.

[Brady]

Skiing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Valley, no snow. But you. The higher you go, the more snow you got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[JB Smoove]

And the lower you got, the more clothes you took off. It was crazy. Then I came home, went to Cabo. 88 degrees. Oh, hot. Oh, man. Beautiful.

[Brett]

Hot.

[John Holmberg]

It's perfect.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, the balance. The balance.

[John Holmberg]

And this is all in how many days? Like you go from Deer Valley to Cabo. How many days in each?

[JB Smoove]

6 days in deer Valley. Left, came back, and then my daughter surprised me at the airport. She surprised me with the Cabo with my wife and I. Man, 88 degrees laying out there, man.

[Brett]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Just looking great, feeling good.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, man. And then left there, came home for three days, then hopped on another plane and went to Aspen. 29th all the way through the 6th.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the whole butch. Is this a special birthday? Yeah, man. You hit the six. You look fantastic, man.

[JB Smoove]

Look, I took care of myself, bro.

[John Holmberg]

You did big six zero. And this was the biggest. Why? Why end it? Let's just run it until next December 16th.

[JB Smoove]

I am still going right now.

[John Holmberg]

You keep going.

[JB Smoove]

I'm still going right now.

[John Holmberg]

You do a couple shows in the middle. Let them pay for it.

[JB Smoove]

All three shows in there?

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, on their tab.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And then I get back on another plane and go someplace else.

[John Holmberg]

Where are you gonna go? Where haven't you been? You want to go? Where's JB Smooth?

[JB Smoove]

I haven't been.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, where have you not been? You gotta be.

[JB Smoove]

I had planted seeds all over all this world, man. I freaking love the choices I made.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, I've been to Bali. I've been to Ghana, I've been to Australia. Yeah, I've been to. I've been to London. Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Everywhere.

[JB Smoove]

Uk. I've been to Paris, Amsterdam. I've been to Paris. I've been. I've been to Cannes. Yeah, I've been. Been. I've been to Monaco. I've been. I've been almost.

[John Holmberg]

Man, look, you've almost ever been everywhere. Where haven't you been?

[JB Smoove]

I got a lot of places I haven't been now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, places.

[JB Smoove]

I got Tokyo yet.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna go to Tokyo?

[JB Smoove]

I gotta go to Tokyo. I gotta get you out there on my list, bro.

[John Holmberg]

That's on the list. Top of the list.

[JB Smoove]

Sometimes.

[Brett]

Akron, Ohio.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Ohio.

[Brady]

Skipping that one.

[John Holmberg]

Cincinnati.

[JB Smoove]

I'm in Cincinnati.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's no reason to. They're not. I noticed you didn't do the hand kiss thing like you did in Paris for Akron.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, but Tokyo's amazing places. Tokyo's on the list.

[John Holmberg]

Which one would you never go back to? All are good.

[JB Smoove]

They curated hand picked destinations.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, I'm like. I'm like a. A walking travel agent almost.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

When I get there, I leave. I leave things there, you know? I mean.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

I touch people and hug them and say, hey, good to be here. And they invite me back just so you know, I'm going back there again.

[John Holmberg]

Then you don't have to pay for a room, man. Genius.

[JB Smoove]

You want to go places when you do play, when you go places like that, people got to remember you.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

They got to remember you even if your ass don't remember them. You know what I'm saying? You know how many times people. Man, so many times people come up to me like, hey, I'm like, hey, who the hell are you?

[John Holmberg]

Who's this guy?

[JB Smoove]

Guy hugging me. I'm like, oh, man, it's been a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I always remember when, just like you.

[Brett]

Did this morning you came in.

[John Holmberg]

You got to do that, own the room.

[JB Smoove]

Got to do that.

[John Holmberg]

You own the room. We'll never forget you were here that one time a long time ago. Your phone rang and one of your. It was your brother, your brother called and he was ordering a bunch of chickens for a picnic. And you had a great line.

[Brett]

Put it on your tab.

[John Holmberg]

I can't be in a room with this many bald headed white men talking about ordering chickens.

[JB Smoove]

Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that to me right now.

[John Holmberg]

It was great. Now let's talk about Leon Black from Curb youb Enthusiasm. Because it is without question one of the funniest people that's ever been on a television screen. And I know the curb's over, but why can't Leon have a spin off? Why can't Leon do more stuff? I want more. Leon Black. My friend named his dog after Leon.

[JB Smoove]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

Big Mastiff.

[JB Smoove]

As awesome as it would be in this world of acting and entertaining people, sometimes you can get. You get stuck in places like that sometimes. Or, or you feel like, oh, man. Or they feel like you can't do anything else but that character.

[John Holmberg]

So what?

[JB Smoove]

So what?

[John Holmberg]

Just keep winning.

[JB Smoove]

You just got to find the right. Yeah. He need the right vehicle to drive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What else do you want to do? Why would you. Why would you want to leave Leon?

[JB Smoove]

In the past, man, there's so many things that I do that I do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

A lot of times I. I don't even. I don't want to say stuff that I do, you know, of course I do a lot of vo.

[Brett]

Work. Work.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of voiceover tons.

[JB Smoove]

A lot of. A lot of series. And that's always fun to do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

But I'm also a business person too. You know, we. We started our own production company. We started our own ad agency. This is crazy because I've done so many I've been a spokesperson so many times. I mean, like 25, 30 times I've done commercials. I've done. I mean, I've been spokesperson for numerous products.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And Caesars, big two year campaigns.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

White Claw, Caesars, man.

[John Holmberg]

You know, Consumer Cellular. I was wrong about which one did it.

[JB Smoove]

Look at that stuff. That I kind of know the world.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

So my partner Miles, he's here also. We, man, we just, we just found these little lanes where we can do what we know about.

[Brett]

And so your agency, the ad agency is actually doing like creative and stuff.

[JB Smoove]

Everything we all, all we in house, everything. We do everything. Write it, produce it, shoot it. We do everything, man. And this is literally from somebody who has sat on a set punching up, writing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Writing, done the job.

[JB Smoove]

Commercials.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And, and a lot of times it's like one of those things they get you because you allowed to come in there and you can craft it and make it funny because there is something to comedic timing for sure. Even on a 30 second spot hot. It's really, it's really a fine tuning.

[Brett]

It's amazing what you can do.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You capture people. You, you catch them and you release them. That's all it is. It's really just sell the product, get the hook in. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Open the door and let them do the work.

[JB Smoove]

You know, all that stuff plays a big part in how you sell. I'm a natural salesman. Right.

[John Holmberg]

What would you do?

[JB Smoove]

You know, I used to sell fire extinguishers door to door.

[John Holmberg]

What did you do?

[JB Smoove]

I sold fire extinguishers.

[John Holmberg]

Fire extinguishers.

[JB Smoove]

What was the brand?

[John Holmberg]

There's a brand? Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Safety First. It was called Safety First.

[John Holmberg]

And you walked around with fire extinguishers.

[JB Smoove]

Man, I used to sell fire extinguishers door to door. My job was to scare the hell out of you.

[John Holmberg]

The trash is gonna burn down.

[Brett]

You just don't know.

[JB Smoove]

You knock on the door, they open the door, you know, they crack the door open. Hello. And you put your foot in the threshold so they can't close it.

[John Holmberg]

That's illegal.

[JB Smoove]

First thing you do.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great horror fighter.

[JB Smoove]

Put your foot right there.

[John Holmberg]

That's called home invasion.

[JB Smoove]

But just. That's the foot. Just a foot?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Then you lean over a little bit. You see what's going on in the house. Hello, ma'.

[John Holmberg]

Am.

[JB Smoove]

I see you have young. I see toys on the, on, on the carpet. I see you must have children. I see a grandpa back there in the wheelchair. You know, you just scare the hell out of me?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, are you guys prepared in case you did have a fire? A grease fire or something? And then that's how I would get.

[John Holmberg]

And were you good at it? You scared them?

[JB Smoove]

No, I don't have one. You don't have one now, you know, I'll do like comps in the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Neighborhood.

[JB Smoove]

You know, just like a realtor does. Yeah. A month ago at the so and so residence.

[John Holmberg]

You bring up fires close by.

[JB Smoove]

Man, you gotta scare the hell out of people. You scare the hell out of them so you can scare the money into you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's how you do it. How much was a fire extinguisher? Door to door. Like if you were to sell me. How. What would it cost me?

[JB Smoove]

I would say there's a couple different models you needed one for the garage.

[John Holmberg]

You need like a bunch of them.

[JB Smoove]

Car stuff.

[John Holmberg]

You need one of the kids kitchen in bulk. Pricing.

[JB Smoove]

You need. I will get. I would. Three would be the top three.

[Brett]

Kitchen.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, man. When you don't have it, you'd be surprised what you try to use to put it out.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[JB Smoove]

By that time, it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's over.

[JB Smoove]

It's over.

[John Holmberg]

So you. Yeah, you. I'm thinking about it now. You weren't even trying to sell me one. And I don't know if I have one.

[JB Smoove]

I still got it. I don't. I still got it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know if I have it.

[Brett]

I got one in the garage.

[John Holmberg]

Do you? Yeah, I might have to borrow that.

[JB Smoove]

You need it? I'm telling you, you'd be surprised.

[John Holmberg]

And do you follow up later to make sure that the fire extinguishers are still good?

[Brett]

Good code.

[John Holmberg]

They're on.

[JB Smoove]

Tell them everything. They gotta be charged. Remain charged up. You gotta check it. It's like. It's like changing. When you change your smoke alarm. The smoke alarm, you check your thing and make sure everything is good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but.

[JB Smoove]

But these are just. These are minor talents that I have. Just a little talent.

[John Holmberg]

See that we've got that problem.

[JB Smoove]

Play a big part in communicating with people is what comedians do. Communicate with people and tap into their needs.

[John Holmberg]

How did you get into selling fire extinguishers? Who. Who's the ones like JB's.

[JB Smoove]

I've had some unique jobs. People. I could have been a perfumer. My first job ever at 15 years old, I had an after school job in a perfumery.

[John Holmberg]

What's that? A perfumery. A perfumer. What are you doing making perfume?

[JB Smoove]

I did everything.

[John Holmberg]

You made it.

[JB Smoove]

My boss was 75 years old, Italian guy named Ray Morata, man, he. He, man made his homemade perfume. He must have been four feet, four feet tall, man. But this guy knew. Oh, he knew. He knew how to make. Make perfumes, man. He had a nice little company, small. That means I got more attention. I could sit. He sit there and show me how to make perfumes.

[John Holmberg]

Do you still do it? Can you still mix it? You still do it.

[JB Smoove]

Put me in front of those ingredients, man.

[John Holmberg]

We read a story. We read a story this morning.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, boy. Let me tell you something. You like woodsy? You like woodsy scents. Put a little woodsy scent in that bad boy. Shake it up a little bit, man. Balance it out, man. Make sure the clarity is there. It's like. Why intention tasting. You know a wine taste?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Do you know the five S's of wine tasting?

[John Holmberg]

Literally? I know.

[JB Smoove]

You see the wine, stir the wine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Smell it.

[JB Smoove]

Another one. You sip the wine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Or you spit the wine out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See, that's how you do it. Yeah. This is the basics. We did a story this morning about a women, a new habit they're in now. A new trend is called vabbing, where they take two fingers and they go in and then they put it on their neck like perfume. You don't think that's a good thing. You think it's a good scent?

[JB Smoove]

Look.

[John Holmberg]

Vaginal dabbing is.

[JB Smoove]

It is a aphrodisiac.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. We call it the stink.

[JB Smoove]

Of course you are attracted. You are attracted to the scent, the pheromone.

[John Holmberg]

The pheromones of the vab.

[JB Smoove]

Of the vab.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding, everybody. If you caught a woman doing that, you'd be all right with it.

[JB Smoove]

Somebody knows certain smells.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You can walk into a room that just got cleaned up from a murder with bleach, and you can smell bacon frying. I'm gonna tell you something. You can smell bacon through bleach. You can put that bleach. You can put that bacon in the bleach. In the bleach container. Yeah. And still smell like damn bacon. Bacon has a unique smell.

[John Holmberg]

You're comparing vagina to bacon?

[JB Smoove]

Just the only two things you can put on your neck and attract a man. And I'm a vegan talking this. You put the vag on your neck, you put the bacon grease on your neck.

[John Holmberg]

You can have cats and both are.

[JB Smoove]

Gonna attract a person.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And the cat. I'm sure there'll be cats.

[JB Smoove]

People love bacon. They smell bacon. Bacon just takes over a room.

[John Holmberg]

Bacon destroys everybody's.

[JB Smoove]

Has the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

So you think fabbing is a good thing?

[JB Smoove]

Man. Have you ever watched animal shows?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Animal shows.

[Brett]

They can sense when the smellier the better for someone.

[JB Smoove]

If you watch lions.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And a lion, they know who they want to mess around with. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

They can smell you and say, nah. Yeah, they. You would think all lions smell the same. They all attracted. They. They have to attract the right.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. It has to be puffing it out.

[JB Smoove]

It has to be the right.

[John Holmberg]

Like one of those. Those connection Febreze things that every 30 seconds just give you one of those.

[JB Smoove]

You gotta look at it like that. And what are we? We nothing but animals with clothes on. That's all we are.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[JB Smoove]

All we are is fashionable animals.

[John Holmberg]

So you're in favor of vapor? You think a woman should be doing this?

[JB Smoove]

I have no, I. I don't have any problem with it.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brett]

No problem.

[John Holmberg]

I have a problem if she's like. If she thinks it's good.

[JB Smoove]

Now I'll tell you something.

[John Holmberg]

Now there'll be some bad ones.

[Brett]

Well, you'll find things. Yeah. You cut them out of there.

[JB Smoove]

Imagine it's cool. Yeah, right.

[John Holmberg]

Is fun too.

[JB Smoove]

Now ass ain't. Let me tell you something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

That's a weird fudge.

[JB Smoove]

That's different. Different.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't want to fudge. No. But you would attract. Attract a certain type of person.

[JB Smoove]

Would maybe be interested, not attract people. You might go further back and say, you know, you might go further back with your. With your finger.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And say, you know what? Today I'm just not in the mood for nothing.

[John Holmberg]

I'm fudging. I want to be alone.

[JB Smoove]

I'm fudging today.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

I want no man to come in the club and buy me a drink. I don't want none of that today.

[John Holmberg]

I'm fudging.

[JB Smoove]

I'm fudging.

[John Holmberg]

I like it.

[JB Smoove]

You gotta fudge. That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Read your book at the Starbucks. Fudging.

[JB Smoove]

Fudging.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It don't matter. Leave it alone.

[JB Smoove]

Just little fuzz, right? Little fudge across the neck.

[John Holmberg]

Not visible.

[Brett]

That's the problem.

[JB Smoove]

That's the little.

[John Holmberg]

Like a little hint, like a symphony bar. Just a little bit. Of course.

[JB Smoove]

And that. That friction when you're walking around. Yeah. Of the butt cheeks moving back to back. That's just enough. That's enough by itself. The ass cheeks going back just like rubbish. Yes. That will create a friction there. That creates a. A pheromone.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[JB Smoove]

That will retract.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Push away. Reject you. I rebuke you. I rebuke you in the name of ashes.

[Brett]

You don't want the fudge. You're doing mascara. Fudging.

[JB Smoove]

You don't want that. You don't need that.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, yes.

[JB Smoove]

People. People could be.

[John Holmberg]

They're dirty and disgusting.

[JB Smoove]

Simple. Just simple.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, simple. Simplify life. That's all. That's all this is. Just make it simple.

[Brett]

Simple.

[JB Smoove]

You make it simple.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. That's all you got to do.

[JB Smoove]

And you show what you love.

[John Holmberg]

It's just seeing a situation, assessing it, and fixing it.

[JB Smoove]

That's what it is.

[Brett]

Keep it simple.

[John Holmberg]

Keep it simple. Stupid. Yeah, I'm a big one. I always say that because I. I have a pristine ass. I wash my ass, I keep it clean. And I get yelled at by people on emails when I say, you got to take a shower effort. Every time you do something terrible back there, you got to shower up. And people know. Two rags. That's exactly right. Double rags. He knows the double rags. Two rags.

[JB Smoove]

Those pretty cool. Do it. Have you. Have you. Have you used exfoliating gloves?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I have had those before. That's a life Chang.

[JB Smoove]

Process.

[John Holmberg]

All right, you got. You got one hand, one ass, one.

[JB Smoove]

Hand for the face.

[John Holmberg]

Like being a Middle Eastern. And don't confuse them. You got to know when you confuse.

[JB Smoove]

Remember which one you put on. That's why you buy two pairs.

[John Holmberg]

You go.

[JB Smoove]

You buy a brown pair, and you buy a cream pair. The cream pair for your face and the brown pair for your ass.

[John Holmberg]

See, I go the other way around. I go the other way around.

[JB Smoove]

That way it won't get mixed up.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's a cream pear for your ass. Because just in case you make stains. You want to see it? Yeah, you want to see it.

[JB Smoove]

Even though it's your hand. Sometimes you forget when people say my right or your right. You know what I mean? You got to remember what the hell you doing.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[JB Smoove]

You got the same color gloves on. You wipe. You'll use your right.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody else's right. Is your left.

[JB Smoove]

Your left cheek or whatever it is.

[Brett]

I do a rubber band and a scrub buddy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you know, whatever works.

[Brett]

Softer, spongier side of the one and then the stuff.

[John Holmberg]

But people that always yell at me and say, oh, you don't. We can't always take a shower after. I'm like, you know what you just told me? You're filthy back there.

[JB Smoove]

You're filthy back there.

[John Holmberg]

It's disgusting. Soap and water.

[JB Smoove]

Loofah is loofah. Is too delicate. Yeah, it's too delicate of a thing. And it's. It's only one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know the gloves. Yeah, I like the exfoliating gloves.

[JB Smoove]

Loofah's nice.

[John Holmberg]

I like it. And it's the whole girly.

[JB Smoove]

It's unity frills.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

It's like washing. Taking a bath with a. With a rough pair of ladies panties.

[John Holmberg]

One of those scrunchy ones.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, it's all pretty.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And it just makes lace and with the little foams.

[John Holmberg]

I can't stuff that.

[JB Smoove]

But it does foam up pretty nice, though. It does.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it feels great. But it works. Not back there. It just feels like.

[Brett]

Put it back. You don't put the loofah back.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a rough pair of pants. You're absolutely right. What else is going on in JB Smooth's life we should know about? What is.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, here's a good question.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

The name of our ad agency is very unique.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Okay.

[JB Smoove]

It's called First Darren. You know what that means?

[John Holmberg]

First Darren from Bewitched.

[JB Smoove]

Bewitched, yeah. It was two Darrens.

[John Holmberg]

Dick York.

[JB Smoove]

It was Dick York and Dick Sergeant. It was two of them. I love Dick York.

[John Holmberg]

You like the first one?

[JB Smoove]

He had a back. He had a back problem and he couldn't come back, couldn't stand up and they. Then they sneaked in. Dick Sergeant was amazing actor also.

[Brett]

But people, it ended up working out.

[JB Smoove]

It worked out.

[Brett]

Adjustment.

[JB Smoove]

It was an adjustment. They had to do it. But it's called First Darren. First Darren, man. And it's a comedy based ad agency. So.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[JB Smoove]

You know, we're matching comedians and comedic actors with amazing brands, man.

[John Holmberg]

And it's been going gangbusters.

[JB Smoove]

It's great.

[John Holmberg]

Who do you got? Who's. Who's on your.

[JB Smoove]

We just launched. We just launched it into. Last year, we teamed up with ueg, it's one of the biggest ad agencies out here. We launched in Cannes, so we were there for Cannes Lions. And man, we had a. We had our event.

[Brett]

Not only that, you put together a talent pool.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, we're gonna do that. But here's the hard part is a lot of the ads, a lot of the brands want my ass.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

So I gotta find a way. I gotta just like pick and choose the ones that I know, but I.

[Brett]

Kind of place to be in.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah. I gotta do the ones that fit my sensibility, things that I. I have interest in, you know, my wide range of things. I love travel, RVing.

[John Holmberg]

You like RV?

[JB Smoove]

Veganism I like all that cool stuff. So I gotta match up with what fits me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, and everybody else. I could. I can. I can think of comedians right now that fit certain brands because I know their lifestyle. I said, oh, you'll be great for this. Be great for that.

[Corey Thriller]

You know?

[JB Smoove]

And I think there is. Is a. A, A lane there that hasn't been traveled yet.

[John Holmberg]

Who's like, who's one of the comedians that would do, like, a foot powder? Like, you're like, it's time we told them, and this is a nice way to intervene. His feet stink.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, I got to find somebody.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and we get him in on that. Get them. You help them get a product to endorse that. Help them fix their problem. They don't even know they've got it.

[JB Smoove]

Got to bring them in. Yeah. You got to pull his shoes off.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[JB Smoove]

You got to hang around with him for a minute.

[John Holmberg]

I got a product for you.

[JB Smoove]

Get a little ottoman. Put the feet up on ottoman. You know what I mean? I got to see. I got. I got to. To feel that odor fill the room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

I say, know what you'd be great for, man?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Foot. Foot X. Somebody. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Footex.

[Brady]

I like that.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have any guesses who you'd call first?

[JB Smoove]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

I think Tracy Morgan's feet are probably pretty awful.

[JB Smoove]

Some people look like they. You know what I'm saying? You can't confirm it, but you.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want their shoes on.

[JB Smoove]

House. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Feet stick.

[JB Smoove]

You don't know. You don't know. You know, you gotta guess.

[Brett]

That's the bacteria.

[John Holmberg]

Jeff Garland's been in here a couple times. I imagine his feet aren't exactly pleasant.

[JB Smoove]

Some people blame the socks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

All the time.

[John Holmberg]

Socks were fine when they went on. It's your feet that made the socks stink. It's not the other way around. This isn't chicken. It is not the socks that made your feet. JB Smooth is at Stand Up Live this weekend. What in the world is. Is something that you would do in this life that says if JB Smooth was in charge.

[Brady]

Charge.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the first thing you change. Oh, you got something. You're in charge. You're in charge of the world. I'm gonna. Here's the first thing that happens.

[JB Smoove]

Foreign affairs. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where do you go with foreign affairs?

[Brett]

Worldly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, I go places sometimes, and, you know, I'm a man of fashion, a man of style. I do think there's something there about especially men looking good. Man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And carrying this torch to bring back back style.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And class. You look at, you go back in time. Like one of my favorite parts of the. What times of is probably the 40s.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

I wasn't even around in the 40s, but I look at old photos and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

I remember when I was younger, man, I used to go to the library. I don't know if you remember microfiche.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, man. I would sit there, hit that little, Hit that little dot. Hit that little dot. You just roll it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

He was finding newspaper article. I was sitting there for hours just.

[John Holmberg]

Looking at Mike turning it.

[JB Smoove]

Michael Fish, man. And I thought that was the greatest thing ever. And I loved like, I love trains.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Like the. So you bring the train.

[John Holmberg]

I love the 40s.

[Brett]

Did you get a train set when you're a kid?

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, hell yeah, I did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

The Tagano, Tutu, H and O. I had that. I had the AFX track. I would put them together tomorrow.

[Brett]

The afx.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, I put them together.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't it great going back, looking at like old baseball games in the 40s and everybody's in a suit and a hat and they look great.

[Brett]

Everybody special in the afternoon.

[John Holmberg]

So you would make a dress code.

[JB Smoove]

I just spruce it up. I don't even know. I think you got, I think you got to show people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

They got to see you. Cuz you know what people do, right? They, they, when they look at you, they, they, they look at your feet first.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

They look the shoes and they work their way up to your face. That's, that's that style. They make sure the shoes is popping. Yeah. Everything's built around the shoes. Then they work their way up. They work their way up, right? And you always got to have a little conversation piece, you know, something in your pocket.

[John Holmberg]

You know you've got an ascot on.

[JB Smoove]

Today, man, you gotta have something suspenders to break things up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

I always tell people when they go. I tell young people all the time, you go into an interview, put something, wear something that can start the combo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know what I mean? When that boss or that employer, future employee says, oh, I like that. I like how you did your shirt.

[Brett]

I like the guy that ascot.

[JB Smoove]

I like the ascot. I like, like, they just gotta like.

[John Holmberg]

But see, I would look crazy, jb, I would look like an insane person if I dressed with an ascot.

[JB Smoove]

I would look every child, everything. You can't do one thing and expect a change.

[John Holmberg]

Like, if I were an ascot right now, I wouldn't be allowed around elementary.

[JB Smoove]

School, Your ascot would be a asscot.

[John Holmberg]

Ask God. People like, arrest that man.

[JB Smoove]

Let's arrest that man.

[John Holmberg]

These children.

[JB Smoove]

You can tap tackle from wearing something.

[John Holmberg]

It's exactly right.

[JB Smoove]

But everything got to go together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

See, look.

[John Holmberg]

How do you know, though? Look at you.

[JB Smoove]

When you put it together. Yeah. When you put it together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

See, I got the suspenders on.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Jacket on.

[John Holmberg]

All of it.

[JB Smoove]

This is just. It isn't.

[John Holmberg]

Are you wearing two watches?

[JB Smoove]

It's not even like. It's not even.

[Brett]

It's not even like gq military.

[JB Smoove]

I just piece things together. You really don't got to sit there and say, oh, I can't afford it.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[JB Smoove]

This is nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You look like you're in the Cam Newton army.

[JB Smoove]

This is nothing.

[Brett]

It is cammy cam.

[John Holmberg]

It's very nice. You look great. You look better. You look fantastic.

[JB Smoove]

I'm telling you, man. Look, I. I've been doing this forever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, I've been doing this style forever, and. And styles that I. I've done have just shown up on.

[Brett]

On.

[JB Smoove]

On fashion runways or. You know, tell you something, man, I was wearing western gear.

[John Holmberg]

Like, cowboy stuff.

[JB Smoove]

25, 30 years ago. I got baby pictures. I was still a grown man. I was a grown man, but I called it baby pictures because I used to walk around with the Canadian tuxedo. You know what I'm talking about?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Around the neck, you know, it's Jay Leno's full outfit. The pants, the shoes, the boots. Boots, man. I got 50 pair of cowboy boots and hats. I got a hundred hats, thousands of hats. I've been doing it forever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

When I see these trends pop up, I'm like, this, done that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What's next?

[Brett]

How long does it take you to. In the morning, like an outfit? You spend much time or you're in.

[John Holmberg]

You're just good.

[Brady]

He's a pro.

[JB Smoove]

He knows you have to. Once you. Once you know your color, your. Your. Your tone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And your color palette.

[Brady]

Solid.

[JB Smoove]

Everything else is easy. Like, I know browns is my. Is my thing. I love browns.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Anything else got to be below the brown spectrum. You know what I mean? I don't look good.

[John Holmberg]

You can't go crazy in pastels now.

[JB Smoove]

I look good in bright suits.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

My suit game is different than my ticket. Like, this game. This is like. I can just. You know, it's like certain. Certain places I go, I wear. I dress a certain way.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[JB Smoove]

You know, what would you do?

[John Holmberg]

Dress me. What would you. What's the first thing you do if you're Looking at me. First thing you put on me. So I'm just in a sweatshirt and jeans all the time.

[JB Smoove]

I will grow my stash.

[John Holmberg]

You grow the stash out again.

[JB Smoove]

I'll make a stash.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[JB Smoove]

But I would. It'll be nice and thin. Your cheekbones.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know what I mean?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And nothing wrong with your hair, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm saying. Did a shave.

[JB Smoove]

A shave.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Nice.

[JB Smoove]

And you got a long neck.

[John Holmberg]

I do.

[JB Smoove]

When you got an extended neck, everything look great.

[Brett]

Yeah. Whereas I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T look at Brady's neck.

[JB Smoove]

I didn't even look over there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm talking about necks right now. Don't even look.

[JB Smoove]

I was talking to him.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[JB Smoove]

I didn't want to even look over there.

[John Holmberg]

He's the crippled kid. You don't talk about being crippled.

[JB Smoove]

You, you, you, you need crew necks.

[Brett]

Crew neck from Miami.

[JB Smoove]

V necks all the time. You a V neck head. You got a V neck neck.

[John Holmberg]

You have a V neck head.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Pencil thin mustache.

[JB Smoove]

The mustache, change it up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[JB Smoove]

Keep people on their toes.

[John Holmberg]

All right. A little thin mustache. I'll try that. I'll give that a run. Look like a maitre d. I'm telling you.

[JB Smoove]

Nice cut dress shirt, man. Banging tie and fitted F jackets. Wear your size.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, people understand when you put on a suit jacket, you're supposed to take a deep breath in before you button that top button.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

If you got a. But if you just button it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

It's too big, it's too loose. It's got to fit your body. Your body.

[John Holmberg]

It's got to breathe in body, Let it go.

[JB Smoove]

Your shoulders, your arms, all that's got to look good in it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know what I mean? You better off buying a. A size smaller and force your posture.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You're supposed to be like a cardboard cutout. You don't see those stand up cardboard cutouts. You, you supposed to have that posture in a suit. Cardboard cutout out tight. Yeah. It forces your posture.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

When you get you. You get relaxed in the suit, it don't look good no more.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's true.

[Corey Thriller]

It looks all.

[John Holmberg]

It's too much stuff.

[JB Smoove]

You got to stand your ass up.

[John Holmberg]

Too much metal. JB You've saved my day. And I'm going to go out there today, I'm going to grow a pencil thin mustache. I just shaved everything a couple days ago.

[JB Smoove]

It ain't too late for you.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[JB Smoove]

That man let it come in. Keep it, keep it trimmed up nice. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Got to keep it trimmed.

[JB Smoove]

Watch and keep. And do this myself.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, I got to spin it. You. I'm growing out of Raleigh. Fingers there.

[JB Smoove]

Do that right there once in a while.

[John Holmberg]

You think I gotta go.

[JB Smoove]

You don't need the whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Just a little bit on the.

[JB Smoove]

Just hit a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Get rid of the goatee. Beard part gone. Just this.

[JB Smoove]

No goatee. No goatee.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think I look gay?

[JB Smoove]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Look a little gay.

[JB Smoove]

I go. I change it up all the time. Sometimes I'm in a beer time, I do my goatee.

[John Holmberg]

I never seen you with one of those.

[JB Smoove]

I've even. I've done a little bit of curl, but not. Not the roddy fingers point. I've done a little bit.

[Brady]

Clark Gable.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Little Clark Gable table. That's what you're saying?

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I'll try that out.

[JB Smoove]

God. Man, it keeps people on their damn toes. Yeah. They don't know which. You gonna show the hell up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I wonder if it.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Brady]

Give it a shot.

[John Holmberg]

Little Hitler mustache accidentally pops up if I shave.

[Brett]

Gotta be careful with that.

[Brady]

I wouldn't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm not gonna do it on purpose, but as you know, it's the only hair I've got, so. It'll pop.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, right there. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

JB Smooth tonight and [e-mail], give us one line that to. To inspire everybody.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, inspire you. Let. Let me help you become me.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[JB Smoove]

See that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know what that means, but I like it. He can help you.

[JB Smoove]

How about this? Never too late for your ass.

[John Holmberg]

It's not too late for yourself. Do whatever it is you're supposed to do. It ain't too late for you. JB Smooth. Stand up live this weekend, it's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful, rough radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? JB's the man. I like having him in here. Little pencil mustache he says I should grow.

[Brady]

I'm interested. I think it'll be better than.

[John Holmberg]

I'll try it.

[Brady]

I think it's gonna be better than the. The Johnny Cakes one.

[John Holmberg]

I had the. Yeah, I had the fireman mustache for a little bit, and I looked super gay.

[Brett]

Okay, you got a lot of comments on that one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. By comments, you mean slurs. That's one way to say loads of comments.

[Brett]

Johnny Cakes one back in the Bronco.

[John Holmberg]

I did like it. Oh, yeah? Well, Again, let's clarify with Mark.

[Brady]

Somebody asked.

[John Holmberg]

Fine.

[Brett]

Well, what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Mark's the only one. I can't have that Johnny Cakes mustache immediately. Bad.

[Brady]

Somebody asked. Yes, earlier in email, but we changed subjects. Any comments yesterday with Market?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

At Barrett Jackson. Did you guys take the Bronco?

[John Holmberg]

No, we way mode over.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And he was late. He showed up late. We did have a. We did have a mo. Or Anthony. Anthony has a beautiful watch. And we're standing there looking at cars and talking about. I forgot what. We're talking about something. And. And Anthony's. Somebody came. Oh, first off, a girl went up and said, oh, it's like a Rolex Daytona something. And he goes, oh, she goes, that's a beautiful watch. She named what it was and goes, oh. Most people don't even, like, recognize that. They're saying, oh, it's fantastic. And so, like, this watch a lot. And then we're wandering around and then these guys come up and they've got this big camera. It's like we're wondering about. We were just curious if we could talk to you a little bit about something. I'm like, anthony don't know anything about cars. Why are they picking him out? And Anthony's like, sure, I don't know anything about this ride. But he says that, no, we're not interested in that. We're interested in your watch. And so me and Jeff. Dr. Jeff walked away and said, what do you think the first question should be? How many men have you today wearing that watch? Because we're like, that was the most. Most British thing you could do. This is an announcement. Should it have a rainbow flag behind it, I believe. And so he turned down the interview. But, yeah, he got it. I think Mark was clear. I don't think he got any. Any eyes turned towards him. Maybe. Maybe a couple. But didn't hear it like we do when we're in the car. But yeah, the Johnny Cakes mustache doesn't.

[Brett]

He got outbid on that Miata. It was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that Miata was nice, though. $3200.

[Brady]

I still see the videos up in the. In the. The entrance. Entrance way when they're playing videos of the different stations and there's a couple of you still in there with the Johnny Cakes.

[John Holmberg]

St. With the Johnny Cakes mustache. The Johnny Cakes mustache was. What do you mean? The Johnny Cakes was awesome. I'm gr.

[Brady]

I thought it was the KUPD one, but it must have been on the al.

[John Holmberg]

K grow back. We could do that. Must staff go back to Johnny Kicks. Get yourself some Johnny Kicks. Go back to Johnny Kicks. That's what you got to do. That's what I will do. I'm going Johnny Cakes. I'm not going pencil. I'm going to shave off the Johnny.

[Brady]

Cakes and take the Bronco out with Mark. And we need a video of this, too.

[John Holmberg]

All right. We're going to get raped.

[Brett]

That'll be on radio. That'll be video.

[John Holmberg]

Up. Be careful out there.

[Brett]

Standing. Oh, standing tall there.

[John Holmberg]

All right. I'm going to grow it out. One thing JB Smooth says I need to do is grow a little mustache with the edges. I'll try it. He's smooth. His fashion is ridiculous.

[Brady]

That was the first thing you said when he walked in.

[John Holmberg]

You looked fantastic. It was just. It's too early to look that good. Anyway, it's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to our friends over at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. You want your eyesight to be better. You want it to be perfect. If you can get it there and the only place that can get you close is the Schwartz Laser Eye center, you can get on this thing. If you're squinting again, do my test. Look at the car in front of you. Can you read the license plate? If you are squinting, if you're straining, if you're trying to read the license plate, you probably need your eyes checked out. They'll do Lasik. They've got the clear lens exchange. They got all the stuff that they can do to make your eyesight better. If you're tired of glasses and you're tired of contacts and you're tired of squinting and you're trying to figure it all out, out, do like what I did and head on over there and get your vision back to great. And again, it's the difference between LED lights and old light bulbs. You will see a massive change when you get this done. If you do the lens exchange. If you do the Lasik, you're cheating yourself every time you squint. Get those things fixed and get your complimentary consult at one of their three locations. They are the team eye doctor for the Suns and the Diamondbacks. Let them be yours as well. Schwarz laser eye center teamidoc.com Brady 80 Entertain Me Sinners broke the record for.

[Brett]

The most Oscar nominations for a single film.

[John Holmberg]

16 Crazy. I wasn't a huge fan of it. It's good. What was it? The movie?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Michael B. Jordan.

[Brett]

And I didn't think it would be in that realm.

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't think it's like one of the greatest movies ever. Which is what the awards would. It's good.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But I kind of got bored.

[Brett]

And then one battle after another is second with no and I thought not.

[John Holmberg]

It's too long. Can't do it, man. Three hour movies at home are you're talking to me Add Johnny. Cannot do it. Can't do it. Got start talking like them all day long now. Can't do it.

[Brett]

One movie that was shut out.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's movie. Brady's sex movie. Making love to himself. That movie got shot.

[Brett]

I got 12 nods.

[Brady]

Shut up.

[John Holmberg]

You got 12 nods. You got 12 tugs got shut up. Brady.

[Brett]

That movie happened.

[John Holmberg]

The tug movie.

[Brett]

Yeah. Brady's tug.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's tugs.

[Brett]

69 nominations.

[John Holmberg]

Get all of them. Best actor best supporting actor for your hand.

[Brett]

Jason Biggs showed his 11 year old son the infamous pie scene from American Pie. Started talking about he's like he's 11 years old.

[John Holmberg]

It's about time.

[Brett]

He said he was open. It was an educational part point talking about it with his son. Said his son laughed really hard.

[John Holmberg]

Should had Eugene Levy come over dad.

[Brett]

He goes you did a pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Job acting there wasn't acting son.

[Brett]

So the 7 year old's not ready for it yet.

[JB Smoove]

But.

[Brett]

The other one, Jason Siegel talked about his full frontal and forgetting Sarah Marshall. He brought his parents there for the premiere. His mom started crying because it's so and she got up and left. Then she. Because she was just like oh.

[John Holmberg]

Because this little willie was me of dad. Then she said now everyone knows.

[Brett]

She ended up writing the relatives a letter. Oh I assure you that this is not a gratuitous thing. It's essential to the plot.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

FYI wants to know.

[John Holmberg]

It was a funny moment and it was very vulnerable character being extremely vulnerable.

[Brady]

She said see his bank account.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. And that was the worst part of it was that when you're. When you're naked and your mom starts crying, she's. She feels bad. What she did. What she did you. She did you dirty.

[Brett]

Did you see the new Masters of the universe trailer?

[John Holmberg]

He man's back again. Are they gonna let me do the voice this time is Kevin Smith.

[Brett]

I don't know. That's what I was looking. I didn't. Eventually I'll get Fox News must have exploded because in the trailer trailer that drops. He man has an office job and the name plaque says he him has his name. What's he man's name? It's Adam.

[Brady]

Adam.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. Prince Adam.

[John Holmberg]

Prince Adam of yeah. You know like.

[Brett]

And then he goes and he goes by Adam Glenn.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brett]

But really, it's kind of a funny thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He himself funny.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Him man. He. Him man. He man. He man was an awesome. Again, Kevin Smith redid it a few. I offered to do all the voices for free.

[Brett]

Yeah. And I thought this might have been his deal. Did, did that movie ever come out?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it was a full six part series on some streaming service. You're right. He was. And then he came back and I said, I told you I would do all of them for free. And then he said, do Skeletor. Done. I did him. And he goes, oh man. Like, yeah, I told you.

[Brett]

Dumb dumb. That's when he, he didn't use you. You're like, come on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I did call him dumb Dumb. It's bad to do that in an interview. Why didn't you use me? Dumb dumb. You've infuriated the host, Kevin Smith. Dumb dumb. Yeah, that's true. Until later. Bye. I love that.

[Brett]

Speaking of Fox News, Kid Rock stirred up the nation.

[John Holmberg]

Fox Nation.

[Brett]

Some liberal folks. Because he's talking about the.

[John Holmberg]

He started talking the reason why our.

[Brett]

Birth rate is down in the US.

[John Holmberg]

Because liberal women are ugly.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's one way to put it.

[John Holmberg]

Is it Kiry? No. Okay. Kid Rock, the voice of a generation somehow in America. And it all made sense to me. It just hit me right now because who's going to sleep with these ugly, ass broke, crazy, deranged, TDS liberal women? I mean, you look at these rallies, it's like a bunch of women no guy wants to sleep with and a bunch of dudes that want to sleep with each other. Have you seen what comey. And you know, we have this.

[Brady]

He's not too far off.

[John Holmberg]

Every time I look at those protests.

[Brett]

It'S going down the line and punching.

[John Holmberg]

As a guy, as a guy who lives in the middle, I look at protests. I very rarely see a protester that's attractive either side. When the Tea Party was going crazy for a while, I'm like, oh, that's a group of weird people. I don't want to hang out with anybody that's got a that kind of time time and is that angry at air. They just yell and it's 2 degrees. It's like 30 below in Minnesota.

[Brady]

They're protesting today. What a bunch of morons. I don't believe in anything that much.

[John Holmberg]

I have in this weather, nothing in my life that means that much to me that if it drops below 40, I'm not, I'm not going to be that I'm going to be angrier at being cold than I am at whatever I was mad at. I can't do it. I mean, literally, Al Qaeda could come and take over, be like, oh, let's wait till, like, spring ring, and we're gonna get mad, but not now.

[Brett]

In the past, I don't know, 10 years, has any of the protesting worked?

[John Holmberg]

No, not a thing. Well, because it's 50. 50?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So it's one half is screaming one thing, one half screaming the other, and then they just yell until they get tired or it gets too cold, and then they go home. Nothing got fixed. Absolutely. You're right. Not nothing.

[Brett]

I guarantee you. Things get wrecked.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, stuff gets destroyed, and then people have arguments for years over, remember when you did that? And then when your side tries to do it, I just don't understand how you can be on either side and you just can't shake your head logically and go, ah, I'm just gonna mind my own business. If everybody did that, the world would be a better place. Just do your own thing and then nobody will care. You get so riled up over silly stuff to run around in streets and then go home and go, like, what happened? Absolutely nothing. It's too cold.

[Brett]

The Eagles greatest hits album is the first album to hit 40 million sold copies.

[John Holmberg]

Man, that's pretty good. It's a big. It's a big album.

[Brett]

And it's a 50th anniversary.

[John Holmberg]

That's the other thing. Like Kid Rock's thing. He's not wrong. Like, oh, most. Most of the ladies who are loud and on those videos are very unattractive, attractive, but they are the one. And when people get mad when he says that, then. But they're always screaming about how maga tards and ugly hillbillies and white toxic this, that and the other, I'm like, yeah, you're right. Like, you're all ugly. You should. They should date each other. By the way, there's a. This guy took a picture, said this was in Gilbert on Tuesday. It's like nine white people that just have wake up and smell the fascism. Abolish ice, some mines. Just a bunch of whites, ugly white people.

[Brett]

Buddy of mine sent me who's going to clean your house article from my high school in Columbus ua. Over a hundred students didn't show up for school.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's because anytime you give kids the right to not show up to school, I'm for whatever.

[Brady]

And those protests and those professors don't care.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[JB Smoove]

Still getting paid.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

Doc Martens is doing a collaboration with Metallica. They're doing a boot collection and shoe collection with the. Using the 80s artwork that Metallica had.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When we had our MILF contest and they put that note out from high up that said, if you're uncomfortable with having the beauty contest upstairs, we'll give you a free day up. Doug. Doug Fairchild, who's the biggest pervert in the building, took the day off before he came in here.

[Brett]

Here.

[John Holmberg]

And it was like, see, Even Doug was offended. And I'm like, no, no, no. You guys said, there's an open door. You get a free vacation day. You think people want to come in.

[Brady]

But he demanded pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. And he was watching online the whole time. But then we had to stop because no one showed up to work that day except us and the milfs. That was great. You missed out on those. Thriller. You never saw a MILF contest, did you? Son of us bring it back. I don't want to. Because at this point we could bring.

[Brady]

Ken Rock out here to be a judge.

[Brett]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

If we could manage Bob Richie and the. And that would work. We'd have to have like a huge prize to get good ones.

[Brett]

Phil Collins share the News. He turned 75 next week. He is now has a 24 hour live in Nurse to make sure he.

[Brady]

Takes what's wrong with him again.

[Brett]

But pull up a picture. I think they showed this picture. I'm like, if that's living nurse. All right.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a nice live in nurse. He's. Does he have Louis body? He's got some sort of a. Yeah, he's.

[Brett]

It's not to mention feelings in the hand. So he can't even.

[John Holmberg]

Neurological drums.

[Brett]

Yeah. Can't hold a drumstick.

[John Holmberg]

It's not like it's like a form of Parkinson's or Where is it Brett will find it.

[Brady]

What he's sick of.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Well, I don't know.

[Brady]

Let's see.

[Brett]

Sustained a spinal injury in 2007. The damaged vertebrae in his upper neck caused lasting nerve damage that makes him unable to hold a drumstick dick.

[John Holmberg]

I thought he was sick.

[Brett]

Well, he pretty much says I've. Anything that could go wrong went wrong. I got Covid in the hospital. My kidney started to back up. Everything started to go.

[John Holmberg]

He's a mess.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Getting bonked in the back. But he's got a hot living nurse now.

[Brett]

I've had five operations on my knee now I've got a knee that work works. And I. I can walk talk, but I need crutches.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He's a mess. I like what Tom just emailed me. Every protester is a weirdo. I think that's true. We should protest. Protesters go down there and just a bunch of decent looking people just going, you're too ugly to be outside.

[Brett]

Well, there's where the problem happens. Then the fighting starts.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. That's what they want. Beautiful people against protesting. I can't be part of it, but I can. I can, can start it. I can help you guys. I can organize that. You're like Obama. Anyway, it's 9:28. We got ourselves a Guadalupe squares on Friday morning to get through. We'll get you through it. Get you guys out, huh?

[Brady]

Death punch tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Five finger pick.

[Brett]

All right, good.

[John Holmberg]

There's a good prize right there. We need a girl, we need a boy. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800 and we will play the squares next. It's 98. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. You're gonna like this Thriller. So just about time for the Guadalupe squares. Before we get to that, I got one. Like, I got one thing. We'll take a break after that. But I got an email from a lady that said she has a neurodivergent daughter. 22. Yeah, don't, don't. Okay, okay. It's getting creepy and she's like, is Thriller taken?

[Corey Thriller]

Oh, I would need more information than just that.

[John Holmberg]

What do you need? You need pictures, photos.

[Corey Thriller]

You know who she is as a person. Not just she's 20 and alive.

[John Holmberg]

She's neurodivergent. What more do you need to know? Very focused.

[Corey Thriller]

Being on the spectrum is your focus though. You love that stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I do love that stuff. I don't. I'm not dating somebody on the spectrum. What's wrong with you? Just, she offered up her daughter. I thought it was a nice thing.

[Corey Thriller]

I. I'd rather the person offer themselves up and not behalf of their parents.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, then moms do that. Too shy.

[Corey Thriller]

Oh, too shy. How convenient.

[John Holmberg]

Shy. She's very smart. Sweet. Oh, sure. I don't know. You want pictures is what you're. Yeah. Really?

[Corey Thriller]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You don't care about pictures. What if she's really hot? Good for her. Oh man. What were you saying?

[Brett]

Why not?

[Brady]

Boy, what a picture.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Corey Thriller]

I want someone to.

[John Holmberg]

I want a. I want to see what she looks like too, so. All right.

[Brady]

Some pictures of d. Toledo and 98.

[John Holmberg]

She'll send them right back to me. She? Yeah, her name is Randy, if I remember Right. I can't remember it's an email. I just remember getting it and thinking, you know what? I'll ask. She's not like, crazy. Uhhuh. She's just got a little spectrum thing. She's a little shy. She's like, is Thriller available? Simple question. Is Thriller available?

[Corey Thriller]

I'm available. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Aren't there? That's all we needed to know. And what is your type? You like them thick and juicy? Not really. Yeah, a little bit of small.

[Brady]

Little Asians, like one thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Brett]

You see you chasing some big.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you like a. You like a Brady. Brady size.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'd be right in your wheelhouse.

[John Holmberg]

Brady had longer hair. Oh, yeah. You put a vagina on guy.

[Brett]

I'm feeling the energy.

[Brady]

I can cook and everything else. I mean, man, what else can you ask?

[John Holmberg]

Weird wedding picture.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Corey Thriller]

Wake up the next morning, you see Brady's face.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. I'm sorry for that.

[Brady]

That's a little too far now.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Anyway, well, I just wanted to put the offer out there. You turned it down. I wasn't expecting that. I thought you'd jump.

[Corey Thriller]

You can still send pictures. We could see.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so it's more pictures than it is personality.

[Corey Thriller]

Well, you know, both of pictures is.

[John Holmberg]

A good start, but we'll start with pictures. If the pictures are good, you'll go out. Out with her.

[Corey Thriller]

I can't guarantee that.

[John Holmberg]

Why not?

[Brett]

We'll pay for it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, it's covered.

[Corey Thriller]

I would rather we just meet naturally and not have to get the whole parent.

[John Holmberg]

This is natural. This is me. Yeah, you're. How are you doing on your plan?

[Corey Thriller]

I'm doing fine on the apps. I'm going through them.

[John Holmberg]

All right. That's not natural.

[Brett]

When was the last time?

[Corey Thriller]

Now it's natural.

[John Holmberg]

It's a little natural, but at this point it's natural.

[Brady]

Well, this is just as natural as that.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brady]

Finding somebody you don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Corey Thriller]

But when you do the services on the apps, though, no one's parents are involved. It's very strange.

[John Holmberg]

I want to cuck it. Can I cuck it?

[Corey Thriller]

When you nail her, you can cuck it.

[Brett]

I had a question. If you naturally met a girl and you hit it off, what would you do? What would be your first date?

[Corey Thriller]

First date? Let's see. Well, you just do like, you know, drinks at, like, a coffee shop, whatever. Get to know who they are first.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Corey Thriller]

Go for, like a fancier, you know, dinner for the first real date and then go from there.

[John Holmberg]

She's Kind of get to know her.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So you do it over, try to.

[Corey Thriller]

Weed out the crazy early on.

[JB Smoove]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Like you do something fun. Yeah. Maybe throw axes or something. Nah, you shouldn't do that.

[JB Smoove]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Why not? Well, your balance isn't good.

[Corey Thriller]

Well, my arms are fine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if you go off balance, then your arms are fine. You're throwing it.

[Brett]

I wouldn't do any extremes.

[Brady]

Brady's first pitch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady's first pitch. Oh, you want to do a first pitch this year?

[Corey Thriller]

That'd be funny.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't mind that. Let's get him out there for a first pitch. Thriller from kupd.

[Corey Thriller]

That'd be very funny.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right. We're working.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

We'll get that guy. No, he gets.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

He is a rope. Can't throw a rope. We got the Guadalupe Squares coming up next. The girl, the guy are on the line. We've got those ready to go. We're giving away Death Punch tickets. We'll do that next. Try to get Thriller engaged before it's over. It's 98. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. 98. What the hell? Hell is wrong with you? To be Phoenix Muska. There we go. Hey. We just found out it was Thriller's birthday yesterday.

[Brett]

Happy birthday.

[John Holmberg]

And this conversation happened one year ago? Yeah, that you've worked here for like a decade or more. And they have this big wall, this whiteboard we write everyone's birthdays on as they come up. Yours never shows up.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Corey Thriller]

I think it's been fixed now, though, right?

[John Holmberg]

No, I walk by it every day. I'm the one who erases the day.

[Brett]

Oh, maybe you're looking for three Thriller.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know his name is Corey. Oh, it is. Yeah. I know that.

[Corey Thriller]

Don't use a real name. It's sad if you use a real name.

[John Holmberg]

But somebody would put in parentheses Thriller, right? Maybe this is garbage.

[Brett]

No, they would remember New. Emily is new, so she doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

Emily never did it. Emily was here for years.

[Brett]

She. She got kind of guilted into it after a while.

[John Holmberg]

His name has never been on the board of.

[Brett]

She's probably, you know, being so new.

[Corey Thriller]

If it sounds terrible, I never see it anyway, so it's fine.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter.

[Brett]

Have you met her yet?

[John Holmberg]

No. Look, it's not for you, okay? You know your birthday?

[Corey Thriller]

Yes.

[Brett]

Yeah, but you. John Gordon, who else was. Never got in a p. If I.

[Corey Thriller]

Walked by four or five people it.

[John Holmberg]

Was funny had I walked by for the last few weeks. I been like, oh, Cory's birthday's coming up. I just found out today. It was yesterday.

[Corey Thriller]

It was.

[Brady]

See, look at that. This broad's mom offers her up for your birthday and you deny it. What a prick.

[Corey Thriller]

My own birthday gifts.

[John Holmberg]

I can have my own. It's kismet, I tell you.

[Brett]

Look at the picture yet.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, it's kismet that on your birthday.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She sends over just her daughter birthday cake for you to just devour.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she stares at the ceiling, goes, fine, that's fine. Fine, fine. That's nice. That's fine.

[JB Smoove]

That'll do.

[Corey Thriller]

I'm really hoping for that'll do one of these days.

[John Holmberg]

That's good.

[Corey Thriller]

Is that a Bears fan? What is that?

[John Holmberg]

She gives you a little thumbs up. We're good here. Anyway, we'll get you in on this. All right? You're dating that girl.

[Corey Thriller]

At least do the first pitch. That sounds like fun.

[John Holmberg]

We'll do the first pitch. You're gonna do that girl? You're gonna do a date with that girl? Okay. I was like, let's not promise that. Mom says it's okay. Wow, Thriller. You get too weird about this. Making me nervous. He's got, like, a DNA thing. It's time now for birthday boy to host these squares and get us out of here on this Friday and move forward for the weekend. Here he is from kdos, even though you're not really on the air. It's Corey Thriller Walsh, everybody. Thriller. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin.

[Corey Thriller]

Top left square, Darth Vader to start things off. How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing well, Corey. Earlier this week we started my brand new venture.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, dear.

[John Holmberg]

Which was Brett. Say it out loud. The Death Star Comedy Jam. That's right.

[Brett]

Sorry, I couldn't get it out.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna have all sorts of people come up, like Kill Tony, only it's called Kill Ch. And you have one minute to make Chewie laugh. We start with a guy who comes from the. Hey, hey, I'm a D. What?

[Brett]

What is that?

[John Holmberg]

What's what?

[Brett]

That.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not familiar. Anyway, don't interrupt the host.

[Brett]

Keep going, Darth. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, Brady. What's wrong with him? Anyway, welcome to the Death Star.

[Brett]

Bring up your first guest.

[John Holmberg]

My first guest is all the way from the Andromeda section of the space. Whatever his name is. Si Snoodles. Let's bring him out here. Sigh. Let's see if you can Kill Chew. Ooh Dee Dee. Nope. That's a Jawa impression. Excellent work though. You can work on it. The Death Star Comedy jam coming soon. Sorry. Close up the show. Close up. Listen, here comes a guy. He calls himself Luke Skycracker. Let's see what he's got for everybody here today. Luke Skycracker.

[Brett]

Ewoks be shopping.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, I just got a new ride. You want to see it? It's a Hellcat TIE fighter. That's right.

[Brett]

Sweet ride.

[John Holmberg]

Check it out, man.

[Corey Thriller]

Where'd you get it?

[John Holmberg]

Like the Dodge dealership in space. What did you think? Anyway, started playing with that one for a second. Okay, that's enough of me.

[Corey Thriller]

All right, no worries. Thank you for your time, sir.

[Brett]

Gotta go get some smokes.

[Corey Thriller]

Okay, over. Now, top, middle, square date.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta get milk. What? Amadala's. What? Pregnant with twins. Gotta get milk.

[Corey Thriller]

Alrighty now over, top, middle. We got Dave Mustaine up next.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was on your station earlier this weekend. There's my son. My daddy can shred. Little Dave. We shred. Yeah, we were on earlier with Shannon and you know what he tried to do? Ask questions off the pre approved list of questions for me. What a dummy. You gotta read the questions I wrote for myself. Hello, me. It's me with a question. Go ahead me, I'll answer. Answer it. Shannon thought he was a star. What do you like most about being Dave? Being Dave?

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was the best interview he's ever done. And I write my own questions. Little insight. And then we asked a few of those. What's your favorite lunch? Sushi with Holmberg. When I can tell him that he shouldn't shred on me because I can still shred.

[Corey Thriller]

Well, I. I guess you left happy. That's good to hear.

[John Holmberg]

I got what I needed out. I should just do the interview myself and send it to people.

[Corey Thriller]

That'd be more convenient.

[John Holmberg]

You know what my favorite cereal is? No, what's that? Me Shredded weed. Cuz it shreds.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, me. It's the Dave Mustaine interview with Dave Mustaine.

[Corey Thriller]

Well, I don't want to bother you here, so let's go on over to the top right square. President Trump. How are you, sir?

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing great. Yeah, I'm doing great. I am making a deal for Greenland right now. Great deal.

[Brett]

You're the peacemaker.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, I'm a peacemaker.

[Brett]

Or else Piece of ice maker.

[John Holmberg]

I love a piece of ice. A good piece of ice. Brett knows. Piece of ice. I like it. I made it. Deal for. For what? Is it green Glendale. I Don't know what I'm getting here. Something up there, but there's 56, 000 little inu inuits. One little, two little, three.

[Brett]

Oh, no. Did you count them all out?

[John Holmberg]

Piece of ice.

[Brett]

They all love you.

[John Holmberg]

And they all love me. They're. They're socialists. But we're gonna change all that. We're gonna send me up there, okay? And I'm gonna. I'm gonna win the Nobel Peace Prize. And if not, I'm gonna kill every last Greenlandian Inuit there is. I'll kill them all if I don't win. She said, they call you daddy Peace Prize. They always call me daddy. I'm Daddy. I went up and they said, daddy, please. And I said, you got it, Greenland. But don't. Don't with me. Look at that. It's a great piece of. Somebody already made a hellcat TIE fighter. That's impressive. Oh, man, that's an amazing. I would drive that. I really like that picture that you're showing of it. Hellcat with the TIE fighter on the. Great. Really nice.

[Brett]

That was fast.

[John Holmberg]

That's my whip. I always liked him. He's a great leader. Darth Vader. A lot of people say, not a good guy. Look at what he's gotten done.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah, he gets a lot of work done.

[John Holmberg]

Real estate. I mean, the guy. Unbelievable. You blew up his building. Like two years later, he's almost done building it again and bigger, Unified daddy. They called him Darth Daddy. That's right. He's the big daddy. Anyway, Greenland Peace prize coming your way. All right. I'll kill every little mother on that island. I swear to God.

[Corey Thriller]

All right, now we got the middle of square. Jay Leno up next.

[JB Smoove]

How are you feeling?

[John Holmberg]

You know, I'm up there at the Barrett Church Jackson. This weekend. I'm doing my Barrett Jackson walk. I'm walking around up there looking at cars I've never had a Ferrari for. I look good. I think I look pretty good. What about a hellcat? I don't like hellcats too much. Something about me inside a hellcat is like I feel like the frosting inside an Oreo. It's like I just don't feel like I fit in there very well. So anyway, no, I'm just. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm wandering around, doing my thing.

[Brett]

Look out.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. I got my footing.

[JB Smoove]

Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not on any hills now. Brady's got me thinking about falling out. Here we go. I fall down. Wheelchair gotten a little older, but I'm, you know, walking Around a nice wheelchair. Yeah, I've got for the fire. And I landed on a muffler and burned my face off. But I'll be over at Barrett Jackson over there at the Barrett Jackson to get a bounce up on one under the hood too. A lot of those people have their cars underneath there. You been to the bar of Jackson? You see that Toledo acts like he knows cars. If you could even lay down under a car. Think everybody's going to sit there. I fell down. Hey, my face on. Anyway, I'll be out there. I'm going to bid on everything. So if you guys want it, it's going to be mine in the end. I'll see you out there. Brady. You're going to go out there today. All right. You'll see me. I'm the one in denim.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, all right.

[Brady]

I'll keep an eye out.

[Corey Thriller]

All right. You told me to the center square. We got geography Grady.

[John Holmberg]

Grady. Hey, Grady. Grady.

[Brett]

How you doing? Geography.

[John Holmberg]

Grady. Geography.

[Brett]

Grady.

[JB Smoove]

I was working up a studio.

[Corey Thriller]

Do you have any idea where we are? Apparently I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I know I am. I got the GPS track on my mile. I'm geography grad here.

[Brett]

You're above sea level right now.

[JB Smoove]

I'm right at sea level.

[John Holmberg]

And you look up where the sea at sea going. So how tall is that? The sea level?

[Brady]

Zero.

[John Holmberg]

It's at zero. Zero is the sea level what everything's about? I'm about six feet above sea level. Okay, just a little bit of that. Five foot seven. I'm. I'm geography Gr I geography grade. You want to know where somebody did that mean? Oh, that's over by the raising question Canes. Ask me where. Ask me. Ask me where you want. Where you going L today? The Thriller.

[Corey Thriller]

I'm going to go downtown Chandler for dinner.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, I know what you. You go to that raising canes. He go Bojangles. They got a Bojangles over about four miles from the Bojang.

[Corey Thriller]

Oh, do they?

[John Holmberg]

Where you going to go to dinner tonight?

[Corey Thriller]

Cooper's hawk. Actually.

[John Holmberg]

Cooper's hawk.

[Brett]

I don't know. Wine? No.

[John Holmberg]

Churches, no birds and such. I know where that is.

[Corey Thriller]

Okay, I'll take your word for it.

[John Holmberg]

Geography greatly knows that the place you're going to s Chandler. Cuz you told me. Yes, and the Grady part kills me. Yeah, it is Grady. It's different than the Brady.

[JB Smoove]

It's a Grady.

[John Holmberg]

It's a gritty birdie and yet the same. Somehow I know that they just blend together.

[Brady]

You brought Lamont Holmes with you.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna be over there at the chicken's nest. The chicken hawk. What do you call that? Foghorn Leghorns. He gonna have his birthday celebration. Let's get out there and make a. Everybody whoops.

[Brett]

You too.

[Corey Thriller]

Is the store out of batteries? What's going on here?

[Brady]

Holy.

[Corey Thriller]

All right, then over to the middle right square. Jason Statham here.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I'm only here just because there's no reason. I was just driving fast through your city and I heard and I said, I know these guys. Oh. So I decided to stop over and be.

[Brett]

How? The bees.

[John Holmberg]

The bees.

[Brett]

The be keeper.

[Corey Thriller]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

You got me excited about that. They're doing well, Brady. Thanks for asking. The bees are doing great. Yeah. Oh, no. I brought some money for Brady. Yes, for that.

[Brett]

Is that a Hellcat Hornet out there?

[John Holmberg]

That's a Hellcat Hornet. That's right. I'm not allowed in that area. Yeah. Look funny in that one, too. It's like a double stuff. If you got in it with me. That's right. But it goes very fast. But I don't need that to go very fast. I'm very fast on my own. All right. Got a new movie coming out.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Beekeeper 2. This time it's personal.

[Brett]

Really? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The Bees. Now we've got a little. We've got a little venture dead it to payback.

[Brett]

Frank Honeycomb.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

That's my name.

[John Holmberg]

Frank Honeycomb. You know, that's how it is. I'll drive very fast. Who's going to get them? Happy birthday.

[Brett]

Thriller.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Frank Honeycomb. I know. I'm with Bread on that Frank Honeycomb line. Yeah, that's funny. But is it?

[Brett]

But is it?

[John Holmberg]

Everybody gets tickets.

[Brett]

Let's leave.

[John Holmberg]

Time to go.

[Corey Thriller]

All right, now, what's that noise? Bottom left square here. Brady Secrets.

[John Holmberg]

Greg.

[Corey Thriller]

Give us a hint.

[Brett]

Thanks for having me in, gentlemen. I'm 75 years old. I saved 154 souls on January 15, 2009, because I landed my plane in the Hudson River.

[Corey Thriller]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

It's a hero. Okay. That should do it straight enough.

[Corey Thriller]

Scorpions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is that the guy? Who do that? All right.

[Corey Thriller]

Now we got the bottom middle here. Howard Stern. Hello, sir.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I got brought up on the show earlier this week. Homer gets called as a cheap imitation.

[Corey Thriller]

He copies you, sir.

[John Holmberg]

No, he doesn't. I don't know what you're talking about. You got this cripple kid on the show. You got Red Robin. You got Bretelge. You've got the baba bastard. I mean, how in the world. Is this show any like? It's completely different. In other words, it's a different show as well. Whatever you say, Howard. That's exactly right. And that's how we should do it around here. That's exactly the phrase. It pays right there. That's right. This is. The golden asshole has spoken. The golden asshole has spoken. And that's all we need to know. Yeah. No, I'm not. Take off spring and summer this year and still get $35 million. And you can feel my finger inside of all radio guys butts. That just kills everybody. It's between me and Beth. No, I'll vab. I vab with Beth, though. She takes it. And Beth does two months off at a time as well.

[Brady]

MacDonald.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How do these. Not my Beth.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Kez's.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The other Beth. She's the poor man's bet. Homberg's. The poor man's stern. And she's the poor man's mind. Oh, yeah. Anyway, how about best fabbing? Oh, Red Robin. Do you.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you like to vap? Where do you like to rub your fab juice?

[Brett]

Yum.

[John Holmberg]

Right? All right, now, do you want to go out with Red Robin? The Thriller will pay for it.

[Brett]

You'll be able to resist her.

[John Holmberg]

I just think you should take chances. A blind date is a good idea for you. She doesn't need to see.

[Corey Thriller]

I'll do it if you do it.

[John Holmberg]

I'll nail. I'll nail the mentally challenged kid.

[Brett]

A neurodivergent.

[John Holmberg]

She's gonna be very focused.

[Corey Thriller]

Album title.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can wander around jerking off all the time. You get this. Why don't you get this mentally challenged kid to do it?

[Corey Thriller]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

What's wrong with that? No, no.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody else is doing it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You got the offer. Just blood. Take her up on it. What's wrong with you?

[Corey Thriller]

There might be a reason.

[John Holmberg]

There might be a reason. What? That you don't get hard for. For a girl's hands. What if she spits A neurodivergent spit in the poem? Oh, I was already imagining.

[Brett]

She's ugly.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah, that's nasty.

[John Holmberg]

What's nasty about it? You don't like porn. You spitting. She starts doing math with her left hand while she's working with the right hand. It's like solving equations.

[Brett]

Toothpicks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. She's counting toothpicks. She drops on the ground. Yeah. Driving a Chrysler 300 in the driveway and working.

[Brady]

Judge Wapner.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She got WAPNER on at 12:30 People's Court. You keep it on there. You keep the people's court. You get it from behind. Better watch tv.

[Brett]

All right.

[Corey Thriller]

Maybe he can save me here. Bottom I square. Our lord and savior, Tripp Reeve. How are you, sir?

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saving anything. I'm. I like this idea. You should get a hand job from that crippled kid. Not happening anywhere else.

[Corey Thriller]

I need advice, sir. Would you do this?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Corey Thriller]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz I don't have to, but you do. You know who else could use a hand? Who's that? Larry. Maybe the R word could get both of you. Like she's cross country skiing.

[JB Smoove]

She's not.

[Brady]

R word word.

[John Holmberg]

Kinda. I don't know how it works over there. I just know she's not normal. It wouldn't have gotten mentioned. Trip makes a good point. Like if she was normal, you wouldn't say she wasn't. So let's get googly eyes in here and see what she can do. All right.

[Corey Thriller]

Hop on aboard.

[John Holmberg]

You better hurry.

[Corey Thriller]

Oh, let's see.

[Brett]

Betty and Chris.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brady]

Betty and Chris.

[John Holmberg]

Betty and Chris. Betty, are you there? I am Here. Chris, are you there? I am. All right. Betty, you're a girl.

[JB Smoove]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's start with this secret square. Sully. Oh, she knows.

[Corey Thriller]

Straight up.

[John Holmberg]

Did it quick. Nice job, Betty.

[Corey Thriller]

All right, over to Chris here. Make the choice.

[John Holmberg]

I'll do geography Brady.

[JB Smoove]

In the middle now. Come on now.

[John Holmberg]

Rogan. Where you at right now, Chris? At my house. Where's that house at, geographically speaking? Good year. All that New and good year. New and good year.

[Brett]

Another G.

[John Holmberg]

Bug eye. I mess that up. Geography. Where do you live there, Thom?

[Corey Thriller]

I'm over in Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's in Phoenix.

[Brett]

Let's see.

[JB Smoove]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you're in Phoenix. Then that's geography.

[Corey Thriller]

He's so good at you.

[John Holmberg]

By booty's wings. All right, what direction is that? That way geography leaves speaking. All right.

[Corey Thriller]

Got a question for you.

[John Holmberg]

I'm Grady Grogan, Geography. I mean, I run a geography bee. I'm a geography beekeeper like Jason Statham, only with. With the. With the. With the places.

[Brett]

Where's South Mountain?

[John Holmberg]

Put a pin in it.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's right back there. It's a big one.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah, I mean south, Right?

[Corey Thriller]

He's right.

[Brady]

Unless you.

[John Holmberg]

Unless you're down south of that. Then it's North Mountain.

[Brady]

Well, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

You're Tucson. It's become north.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, geography Brady can't help everybody.

[Corey Thriller]

Yeah, you're very busy.

[John Holmberg]

I said Grady Brady.

[Corey Thriller]

Grady.

[John Holmberg]

Go on now.

[Corey Thriller]

All right, people who swear Tend to be more dishonest than those who do not.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's crazy. You're the most honest, most animated in the world, But, Brett, you just move. Where'd you move to?

[Brady]

Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

It's right over there.

[Corey Thriller]

Not a fan of Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

You say people swear to more dishonest.

[Corey Thriller]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means. Oh, if I swear to you, it means I'm lying. Yes. So if I say I, your wife means you're lying. That means I'm not telling you truth.

[Corey Thriller]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

If I say I didn't your wife and bet you look out geography. Grady did not do that. I said it's probably true.

[Corey Thriller]

Okay, you're saying true there now, Chris, do you agree or disagree with true?

[Brett]

I'll agree.

[John Holmberg]

Incorrect.

[Corey Thriller]

Then X gets the square. Betty could take Trump for the win here.

[John Holmberg]

You know it. Let's go, President Trump.

[Brett]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

I could tell. Betty's a big fan. Probably has a picture above the fireplace of me with a bloody ear. Fight, fight, fight. That's what I said.

[Corey Thriller]

With or without clothes?

[John Holmberg]

With a flag. Maybe she's done a little altering and taking out the caps for you. Oh, Black Betty. She's probably. She's probably a black. They love me. They love me. The blacks love me.

[Brady]

Does Darth Vader love you?

[John Holmberg]

Darth Vader and Geography Grady both. I did vote for him. Take it for what it's worth. We saw your whip. That boniform, too. You ever live with a black woman? You surely ain't gonna let one president. I had to vote for the white man. I told you they love me. Isn't that right, Black Betty? You know it. That's right. You know it. You can hear it in a voice. She's basically a member of Salt and Pepper. She's like Spinderella. I know that.

[Corey Thriller]

I got a question for you here, Sir.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Corey Thriller]

Approximately 20% of all cell phones in use have been dropped in the toilet or urinal.

[John Holmberg]

2 out of 10. 2 out of 10 cell phones have been in the pee and the poo. And that's worldwide. Yes. So that number includes India. Ooh, those are made of pee and poop in India. I think that's probably true. 20% is a pretty low number when you start counting in the Indians. Yes.

[Corey Thriller]

Okay, you're seeing true.

[John Holmberg]

Very true, Very true. They're mostly all poop.

[Corey Thriller]

All right, now, Betty for the win here, possibly. Do you agree or disagree with true?

[John Holmberg]

I am going to have to agree. Correct.

[Corey Thriller]

X gets the score and the win.

[John Holmberg]

Baron dropped his phone in the Dumper. You think I'll get it.

[Brett]

Take it away.

[John Holmberg]

Took it away from him for a little while. His long arms went all the way down to the P trap he got stuck to. We got him in. There we go. Okay now but yeah. Don't drop your phone in the poopy. The Phoenix Open or Barrett Jackson or anywhere else. Just leave it. Not that important. All right. I'm off to kill Greenland.

[JB Smoove]

He's quick on that.

[John Holmberg]

And got to kill those people on a mission. Got to get that peace prize by killing those folks. That's it. We're done, huh?

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Holy cow. Three day work weeks are awesome.

[Brady]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

I mean I even how focused Brady was. I know. Well that's not graded off of Grady.

[Brady]

Grady was doing good. Gr.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[JB Smoove]

Let's see.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going go the raising canes. We're going bo jingles. Geographically speaking of course. Which is this way and that away. Oh man. What? Your birthday. Happy birthday. You're going out to the chicken dren.

[Brady]

Is what you called it.

[Brett]

Cooper.

[Corey Thriller]

Cooper's hawk.

[John Holmberg]

Cooper's hawk. All right. And you're gonna drink wine?

[Corey Thriller]

I probably have a glass, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you want a. A special friend?

[Corey Thriller]

What kind of special?

[John Holmberg]

I told you. She's neurodivergent.

[Brett]

Special.

[John Holmberg]

I got a special friend. Well, for the lady and her special daughter.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That. Want to meet at what time you going to Cooper's room?

[Corey Thriller]

I'm not telling you all this.

[John Holmberg]

5:36 o'. Clock. Get there, hang around from 5:6 and first kid that waddles in with the big limp, that's Corey.

[Brett]

When does the women's basketball game get over?

[Brady]

That's true.

[Corey Thriller]

There's not one today.

[John Holmberg]

Keep it in mind. She wanted to date you sight unseen.

[Corey Thriller]

She doesn't know what it looked like.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Corey Thriller]

So we're both lying to each other.

[JB Smoove]

Whoa.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Son of a bitch. See if I ever try to get you blown again.

[Corey Thriller]

I'm an adult, so I can handle myself.

[John Holmberg]

I know that you've been doing too much of it. That's what we're trying to help. We're done. You guys have yourselves a fantastic neurodivergent weekend. And we'll see you on Monday right here in the morning sickness. Larry's next. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock Riddle Station.