Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Guad Squares Comedy Episode

Date: January 23, 2026
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98KUPD
Episode Theme:
A raucous, character-driven round of the “Guad Squares”—the show’s unique version of Hollywood Squares—featuring hilarious impressions, quick-witted banter, Arizona in-jokes, and running gags centered around Corey ‘Thriller’ Walsh’s birthday.

Episode Overview

This episode delivers a fast-paced, laugh-filled game of Guad Squares featuring the show’s signature cast of characters and celebrity impressions, riffing on everything from Star Wars and classic rock to presidential antics and local Arizona geography. The show opens with a birthday shout-out for Corey ‘Thriller’ Walsh, who also hosts the Squares segment, and spirals into playful chaos and self-deprecating humor. Throughout, the cast pokes fun at themselves, each other, and a rotating roster of pop culture icons, while interacting with listeners in gaudy Arizona fashion.

Key Segments & Highlights

1. Corey 'Thriller' Walsh’s Birthday & Team Banter

[01:23–03:44]

• Corey’s birthday is discovered but missing from the staff wall:
  • “You’ve worked here for a decade...your birthday never shows up.” – John Holmberg [01:31]
  • Jokes about birthday traditions and awkward ‘setups’ with listeners’ daughters.
• Spirited teasing as the crew discusses staff traditions and Thrivers’ dating prospects.

2. Guad Squares Begin – Star Wars and Comic Impressions

Darth Vader & Death Star Comedy Jam

[03:44–05:23]

• John as Darth Vader announces the “Death Star Comedy Jam”:
  • “It’s like Kill Tony, but it’s Kill Chewy—you have one minute to make Chewy laugh.” – John Holmberg (as Vader) [03:49]
• Improv sets involving Star Wars characters and space dealership jokes:
  • “I just got a new ride...it’s a Hellcat TIE fighter.” – John (Vader) [05:02]

Dave Mustaine Appears (Megadeth)

[05:37–06:59]

• Parody of Mustaine’s interview quirks; writing his own questions:
  • “You gotta read the questions I wrote for myself. Hello, me, it’s me with a question.” – “Dave Mustaine” [05:58]
  • Running gag about ‘shredded wheat’ cereal and ‘shredding’ [06:47]

President Trump Square

[06:59–08:35]

• Brett as Trump claims to be negotiating for Greenland, mixing in Arizona-specific confusion (“Is it Green Glendale?”) and classic bravado:
  • “I’m making a deal for Greenland right now. Great deal.” – “Trump” [07:03]
  • “If I don’t win the Nobel Peace Prize, I’m gonna kill every last Greenlandian Inuit there is.” [07:41]
• Trump praises Darth Vader’s building skills:
  • “A lot of people say he’s not a good guy, look at what he’s gotten done!” [08:15]

Jay Leno at Barrett-Jackson

[08:40–09:57]

• John’s Leno impression shares car show anecdotes and playful self-deprecation about his age and infamous accidents:
  • "I don’t like Hellcats. Something about me inside a Hellcat—it’s like the frosting in an Oreo." [08:52]
  • “I landed on a muffler and burned my face off.” [09:22]

3. Arizona Geography Gags – “Geography Grady/Brady”

[09:57–11:40, 18:16–19:36]

• John blends the characters Grady and Brady for mock-inept but earnest Arizona geography lessons:
  • “I got the GPS tracking on my ass—I’m geography graduated.” [10:13]
  • Interacts with Corey about local restaurants (“Cooper’s Hawk”) and general direction jokes.
  • Geography-related humor continues during the listener games:
    • “Where’s South Mountain? ...Put a pin in it. It’s right back there—it’s a big one.” [19:15]
  • Running joke: “I’m Grady Grogan. Geography—I mean, I run a geography bee. I’m a geography beekeeper like Jason Statham, only with the places.” [19:04]

4. Jason Statham & “The Beekeeper”

[13:03–13:56]

• Brett impersonates Statham, riffing on his recent “Beekeeper” movie:
  • “I’m only here because there’s no reason. I was just driving fast through your city.” [13:06]
  • “The bees are doing great, Brady, thanks for asking.” [13:19]
  • “Got a new movie coming out—Beekeeper 2: This Time It’s Personal.” [13:37]

5. “Secret Square” & Other Impressions

[14:06–14:27]

• The secret square gives a clue about “Sully” Sullenberger, hero of the Hudson landing.

6. Howard Stern Roasting Holmberg

[14:34–16:15]

• John does a Stern parody mocking comparisons to his own show:
  • “Homer gets called a cheap imitation…I mean, in other words, it’s a different show, is what you say.” – “Howard Stern” [14:57]
  • Jokes about “vabbing,” Beth, and Howard’s radio dominance.
  • Absurd lines about “getting a hand job from that crippled kid” and “neurodivergent vanity” (pushing boundary of irreverence).

7. Listener Interaction & Trivia

[17:48–22:13]

• Two listeners, Betty and Chris, join to play the Squares.
• Geography jokes continue as listeners answer absurd Arizona questions.
• Trivia includes:
  • On swearing and honesty: “People who swear are more dishonest than those who do not.” [19:37, Answer: False]
  • On phones dropped in toilets: “Approximately 20% of all cell phones in use have been dropped in the toilet or urinal.” [21:32; President Trump answers ‘true,’ which the contestant accepts as correct]

8. Final Lightning Rounds & Running Gags

President Trump Commentary

• “Betty, probably has a picture above her fireplace of me with a bloody ear…The blacks love me!” – “Trump” [20:35, 20:50]

Callbacks to Birthday and Awkward Blind Date Offers

[22:41–23:54]

• The crew keeps circling back to “Thriller’s” birthday dinner at Cooper’s Hawk, trying to orchestrate a meeting with a “special,” possibly neurodivergent admirer, to his comic discomfort.
  • “First kid that waddles in with a big limp, that’s Corey.” – John [23:25]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “It’s like Kill Tony, but it’s Kill Chewy—you have one minute to make Chewy laugh.” – John (as Darth Vader) [03:49]
• “You gotta read the questions I wrote for myself. Hello me, it’s me with a question.” – “Dave Mustaine” [05:58]
• “If I don’t win the Nobel Peace Prize, I’m gonna kill every last Greenlandian Inuit there is.” – “Trump” [07:41]
• “I don’t like Hellcats… I feel like the frosting inside an Oreo.” – Jay Leno [08:52]
• “I got the GPS tracking on my ass—I’m geography graduated.” – Geography Grady [10:13]
• “This is… The golden asshole has spoken.” – “Howard Stern” [15:03]
• “First kid that waddles in with a big limp, that’s Corey.” – John [23:25]

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |---------|-----------------------------------------------| | 01:23 | Corey’s Birthday Banter | | 03:44 | Darth Vader / Death Star Comedy Jam | | 05:37 | Dave Mustaine Interview Parody | | 06:59 | President Trump on Greenland | | 08:40 | Jay Leno at Barrett Jackson | | 09:57 | Geography Grady/Brady | | 13:03 | Jason Statham/Beekeeper | | 14:34 | Howard Stern Parody | | 17:48 | Listener Game Begins | | 19:37 | Trivia – Swearing & Honesty | | 21:32 | Trivia – Phones in Toilets | | 22:41 | Birthday/Birthday Dinner Running Gag, Outro |

Tone & Style

• Irreverent, rapid-fire, and at times gleefully offensive—with a dense layering of local references, pop-culture parodies, and unapologetic Arizona flavor.
• The hosts and their alter egos constantly rib one another, toe the line of bad taste, and thrive on spontaneous comedy rooted in personal quirks and playful insults.

Final Thoughts

This installment of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a wild ride through Arizona humor, character impressions, and absurdist banter, all underpinned by the joyful mocking of “Thriller’s” birthday. The episode is equal parts loving camaraderie and savage roast, ensuring listeners are laughing, sometimes groaning, and always on their toes.

For fans of fast-paced improv, irreverent podcasting, local in-jokes, and iconic impressions, it’s a signature HMS Squares takeover.