01-23-26 - Guy Opens The Last Meal Restaurant Based On Death Row Meals - AI Is Now Involved In Assisted Suicide - Emailer Calls John A Golden Asshole For His Work Pooping Stance - Emailer Says His Side Piece Stopped At He And His Wife's Table At Dinner

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona (98KUPD)

Episode Summary: Jan 23, 2026 – "Last Meal Restaurant, AI Assisted Suicide, Emails & Golden Asshole Controversy"

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Main Theme & Purpose

This high-energy episode explores the intersection of dark comedy and real-life oddities, featuring the bizarre new "Final Meal" restaurant concept based on death row meals, the dystopian reality of AI-assisted suicide pods, and the show's signature irreverent banter as the crew tackles listener emails on pooping posture, public bathrooms, and an affair gone dangerously public. Throughout, John Holmberg and his team balance crude humor with unexpectedly thoughtful takes on mortality, technology, and social taboos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Final Meal" Restaurant: True Crime Meets Dining

[02:35 – 09:00]

• Concept: An Ohio restaurateur, Nate Thompson, has created “The Final Meal,” where guests order dishes replicating the last meals of famous executed criminals.
• Sample Meals:
  • John Wayne Gacy: Chicken wings, strawberries, fried shrimp, fries
  • Ted Bundy: Parmesan steak, loaded steak fries
  • Eileen Wuornos: Cheeseburger, black coffee
  • Timothy McVeigh: Two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream
• Novelty Drinks: “Helter Skelter Seltzer” (named for Charles Manson), themed cocktails
• Hosts’ Reaction: Joking respect for the morbid creativity. Holmberg:
  • “Isn’t that cool, though? That’s a great idea.” (04:06)
  • “Everybody loves murder podcasts. We're all on murder porn.” (04:33)
• Ethics & Popularity: Recognition that true crime is a huge industry, with the restaurant cleverly tapping into America’s fascination.
• Listener Suggestions: Spin-offs include serving victims’ last meals (e.g., JonBenét’s pineapple & milk) as a “kids’ menu” (dark joke).

2. Classic Cars & The Simplicity of the Past

[09:48 – 13:26]

• Barrett Jackson Car Auction: Holmberg expresses nostalgia for simple vehicles (K5 Blazer, old Silverados), lamenting the complex, short-lifespan design of current cars.
• Quote: "Sports cars are fine… I see a 1971 K5 Chevy Blazer that's red. Oh my God, I was falling in love." (10:41)
• Reflections: The 60s/70s classics remain prized; new models “aren’t meant to last.”

3. AI-Assisted Suicide Pods: Technology Meets the Ultimate Taboo

[15:11 – 22:25]

• News Item: AI-powered, 3D-printed suicide pods are now available (Switzerland case cited), removing human facilitators from the process. The pod checks for weight, prompts users to confirm, then self-activates.
• Couples Feature: New pods allow couples to “go together.” "You and your wife can climb in there and die together." (16:11)
• Humor in the Grim: The team riff on customizing the AI's voice for your death (“Pick the British guy to keep it classy”), and speculate about the “aroma” of an Indian accent, leading to a string of intentionally outrageous jokes.
• Kevorkian Discussion: The hosts reflect on the change since the days of Dr. Kevorkian. With AI, the moral and legal boundaries are shifted: "It took out that whole murder aspect. It's creepy. But in a weird way…you get diagnosed with something you don't want to fight..." (20:50)

4. Listener Emails: Bathrooms, The 'Golden Asshole,' and Side-Piece Scandals

[23:25 – 45:48]

• A. Public Bathrooms & Pooping Technique

  • Golden Asshole Moniker: An emailer calls Holmberg "a golden asshole" for his ability to “lock down” and avoid public bathrooms. Holmberg leans into the nickname, considering “Golden Asshole” merch.
  • Hygiene Rules: He details stringent ass-cleaning routines, defending them as hygiene, not germaphobia.
  • Quote: “Mind over fecal matter. It’s a thing. So, yes, the golden has spoken. And you guys just work harder on your butts. Kegel strength.” (26:15)
  • Back-and-Forth: Multiple listeners chime in with their own bathroom chronicles, medical reasons, or jokes about “clinching up” versus “loose lug nuts.” The team lampoons Crohn’s patients and trades stories about avoiding embarrassing stains.
  • Memorable Moment: “After every deuce, you should take a shower. That should happen. Some of us can't. Well, then tighten up your butthole and make it so you are shower adjacent after each deuce.” (42:04)

• B. The Affair Email: When the Side Piece Becomes Front and Center

  • Story: Listener recounts that his “side piece” stopped at his and his wife’s dinner table. The wives exchange numbers–now they're all set for a couples' night. Panic ensues.
  • Holmberg's Analysis:
    “There’s a whole myriad of reasons that this shouldn’t have happened, but here we are... You ever see a car with loose lug nuts? That's this guy's life. Lug nuts never start twisting back on. You tighten this shit up.” (33:03)
  • Possible Outcomes: Crew debates if it was a trap, a con, or a swinger setup–each scenario more disastrous than the last. Listeners contribute advice ranging from “fake your own death” to “secretly record her for leverage.”
  • Cultural References: Fatal Attraction, Sopranos, Casino–paralleling the listener’s dilemma to legendary tales of infidelity gone wrong.
  • Memorable Exchange:
    • “It's a trap!” – Co-host, [35:36]
    • “If you have an emergency, you're sick. Go home.” – John Holmberg, [46:32]

5. Music & Wake-Up Song Selection

[48:19 – 49:04]

• Music Segment: Briefly discusses new wake-up song selections, notably Megadeth’s cover of Metallica's "Ride the Lightning."
• Hosts’ Tone: Mock-competitive, slightly nerdy in classic metalhead fashion.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Last Meals:
  • “You can go through and find your executed killer and say…this stays in our deal.” – John Holmberg [06:33]
• On Hygiene:
  • “After every deuce, you should take a shower. That should happen.” – John Holmberg [42:04]
  • “Why do people get mad at it? Keep your ass cleaner... How dirty is your ass that that made you mad?” – John Holmberg [47:26]
• On AI Suicide Pods:
  • “AI Kevin from India doesn’t stink like his foods, Brett.” – John Holmberg [18:38]
  • “If your AI guy had that, you’re not suicidal, you’re just...your friends. ‘What are we doing now?’” – John Holmberg [18:49]
• On the Cheating Dilemma:
  • “You tighten this shit up. Lug nuts never start twisting back on.” – John Holmberg [33:03]
  • "It's a trap!" – Co-host [35:36]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 02:35 – 09:00: Final Meal restaurant discussion, menu breakdown, and true crime trends
• 09:48 – 13:26: Classic cars and the evolution of collectibles
• 15:11 – 22:25: AI-assisted suicide pod news, jokes, and ethics
• 23:25 – 28:33: Emails: bathroom avoidance, “golden asshole,” ass hygiene philosophy
• 29:15 – 44:56: Listener’s infidelity tale, advice/riffs on affairs, swinging, and getting caught
• 48:19 – 49:04: Wake-up song/music segment (Megadeth’s Metallica cover)

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Episode Vibe & Tone

Relentlessly irreverent, quick-witted, and unapologetically gross. The team deftly balances incisive social commentary with scatological humor and gleeful inappropriateness, always returning to real listener dilemmas, absurd news, and sly callbacks. For fans of true crime, dark tech, and uncomfortable laughs, Holmberg’s Morning Sickness remains happily unfiltered.

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Useful Takeaways for New Listeners:

• Expect wild topic pivots and no subject too taboo.
• Emailers are a big part of the show, often inspiring the edgiest material.
• The crew combines morbid fascination (true crime, AI death tech) with toilet humor, but occasionally lands on oddly wise life advice (“wash your ass,” “tighten your lug nuts,” and be careful with your side pieces).

Best Enjoyed If:
You’re comfortable with NSFW talk, black comedy, and finding real insight buried amidst the jokes.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean, really? Maybe in 2026 you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten. I know. That was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly. Visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team at the Schwartz laser eye CENT 483 eyes Schwartz laser eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? All right, thank you very much, Thomas James. And the theme song for the year. I like that. People are now coming up with fragrant names for vabbing. My favorite so far, Slough number five. I think that's pretty solid. Thank you, Scott Hanks. Let's leave it right there. It says you can remember when you used to open magazines and they had the scent and you'd open that little crank and you smell it. Yeah. He said you can get the vabbing scent on Cat Fancy if you're interested in going through that. That's pretty solid as well. Gross. Yeah, and every guy emailed and said, ohberg, you're right. Sick and tired of chicks acting like it's tough to find one of us. We're everywhere. I've also been challenged to get another shout out from Kevin Ray tonight during a son's game. If I can get him to mention vabbing at all, it's worth a thousand dollars for. All right, I'll take you. I'll tell you, I will try See if Kray. They're playing the Hawks tonight. We'll see if Krake can go bring me up again and say something about vabbing. I don't think he will. He'll stay away from that. Brady, you. This. We missed this. You being a guy who loves restaurants. Me being a guy who loves serial killer stories, missed out on the. The nation's fascination with true crime. The guy in Ohio has opened the greatest idea for a restaurant ever. And we probably talked about this years ago. It's called Last Meal. The menu are serial killers, death row guys. Last meals, you order. You get the John Wayne Gacy, you get the. The Ted Bundy, you get dudes who have been executed. Last Meals. It's in. Where is. What's it called? Gallon, Ohio. Is that right? Gallon. Yeah. Galleon, Ohio. Do you know where that is?

[Co-host/Guest]

In South.

[John Holmberg]

Just making.

[Co-host/Guest]

I think. No, I think it's not far from where I went. Ohio University.

[John Holmberg]

He's got that. It's called the Final Meal. It's become crazy popular. And you can go in and say, I want the. Like the John Wayne Gacy looks pretty good, actually. It's chicken wings, strawberries. I don't like that. Fried shrimp and french fries. The Ted Bundy was a Parmesan steak and loaded steak fries.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Eileen Wuornos Monster. A cup of black coffee and a cheeseburger.

[Podcast Host]

You don't like black coffee, though. Wouldn't work for you.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I can modify a little. Get some creamer in that. It's pretty great. Timothy McVeigh, his last thing was two pints of mint chocolate ice cream. If you want some mint chocolate chip ice cream, you get the McVeigh. That's for dessert. Isn't that cool, though? That's a great idea.

[Podcast Host]

I want a Bundy. That. That sounds.

[John Holmberg]

Bundy sounds pretty good. A Parmesan steak with some loaded steak fries. I think that's a great idea, man.

[Co-host/Guest]

He's going to.

[Podcast Host]

Maybe not.

[Co-host/Guest]

Pretty simple as far as amount of different items on the menu.

[Podcast Host]

Those are. There's probably a commonality with a lot.

[Co-host/Guest]

Of those Final Meals. Most of them are probably fried chicken.

[John Holmberg]

It's almost all dudes. So, yeah, you go chicken meat. Very American fair. I don't think anybody's gonna go with, you know, like snails or anything.

[Podcast Host]

What's the name of the place?

[John Holmberg]

Last Meal. Yeah. Find the. Find the menu. Yeah, it's called. It is called the Final Meal. I'm sorry. It's called the Final Meal. Galleon, Ohio. And, you know, just kind of A cool thing because as fast and everybody's like, that's weird. The. The top 10 podcasts in the country are all like murder. Everybody loves murder podcasts. We're all on murder porn. And this dude said it. He's Nate Thompson is a native of Michigan. He says I also on the Michigan Museum of Horror said I always thought it would be unique to have a restaurant where you could eat the same last meals that executed criminals had. So last meal is going to be not only in Ohio soon. I'm going to get it up to Michigan and try to get out. We should franchise one of these and bring it here.

[Co-host/Guest]

Let's call them.

[John Holmberg]

We should. I would do that in a second and get a free. Free push on that. It's a great idea if you can get good chefs and stuff. The last meal awesome.

[Co-host/Guest]

Kind of like, you know, it's kind of cool. When it came out years ago was that 19 Teen Crimes wine where it have the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

On there. And you'd actually scan it and it.

[John Holmberg]

Would tell you what it was. Yeah. Said if you want a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and a bottle of Coke, that's the Timothy McVeigh. The Carol Chessman is named after the kidnapper, robber and serial rapist. You're gonna get. Oh no. McVeigh was the mint chocolate ice cream. That was the Carol Chessman was the. The toasted ham and cheese sandwich. That's not asking for much. Yeah. They have Helter Skelter seltzer for Charles Manson. They made their own drinks. That's a great idea. Is that it?

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

See if I can get that.

[John Holmberg]

What's the Elizabeth Ann Duncan? Oh my gosh. They got a lot of good ones up there.

[Podcast Host]

The Elizabeth Ann Duncan is an 8 ounce sirloin steak and a salad.

[John Holmberg]

Mostly steaks, I would think.

[Co-host/Guest]

Like steaks.

[John Holmberg]

I think you can pick and choose to you like you go through and find your. Your executed killer and say this stays in. Stays in. Our deal. What do you got?

[Podcast Host]

The Stanley Tookie Williams, which was the leader of the Crips.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Bowl of brown sugar, oatmeal and a glass of milk. Add Crip berries for an extra $2.

[John Holmberg]

See? Clever. The last meal is fantastic.

[Co-host/Guest]

Velma Barfield. Barfield. Bowl of cheese puffs.

[John Holmberg]

She just had a bowl of cheese puffs. What's that run you? That's 8.99. That's not bad. That's a reasonable little snack for lunch.

[Podcast Host]

And about the Charles Chips.

[John Holmberg]

Charlie chips. Charles Manson chips. What are they loaded?

[Podcast Host]

Chicken nachos Shredded lemon chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Inspired by the spawn ranch, using ingredients that were popular in the local area.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? See the last meal. What's the black Dahlia murder?

[Podcast Host]

That is pomegranate juice, lime juice, lemon juice, tonic water, muddled blackberries and blueberry gar. Garnish.

[John Holmberg]

That's the drinks.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Burn, Bundy, burn.

[Podcast Host]

Chilled shot of spicy watermen, watermelon, Tajin, lemon or lime juice with a pepper garnish. There's no booze in that one.

[John Holmberg]

Helter seltzer. This is a great idea. We're gonna make a call and bring that in here. This guy says, I got a new conspiracy for you. Timothy McVeigh is still alive. Look up FBI agent Paul Weissa pal Timothy McVeigh. Conspiracy. I don't want to get into that. I got enough on my mind. As long as he stays calm. As long as he stays calm, I don't care if McVeigh's still alive. I look, they let him out. And we are finding out the weird way. That's okay. Scott Haynes brings up. Can you. Can you get the last meals that we know about from the victims, too? Like the jonbenet, the bowl of pineapple and milk. Oh, that's on the kids menu. Maybe we'll get the. The last victims. I like that. The JonBenet's solid.

[Co-host/Guest]

You could par the. Parlay that into other last meals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

From famous stores or whatever.

[Podcast Host]

Sure.

[Co-host/Guest]

Because I think it was the president. Tyler had cherries and milk. He. He ate too much of them. It was like. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Arsenic in there.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I.

[John Holmberg]

That's weird, isn't it? Strange. Like a slushy JonBenet. We all know that her. That little bowl of pineapple and milk was on the table and she. She ate it all up. And then that was like, to me, the grossest thing in the house that night. That's disgusting. Pineapple and milk. Now, granted, who knew that there was a body in there? But for the most part, if I'd wandered through that house, I'd been like, ah, there's the dead body. I'm like, ooh, what's she eating? Like, I would have been as aghast at the bowl of pineapple and milk as I was finding the cake.

[Co-host/Guest]

Some pineapple and co. Cottage cheese.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good. If you're 80, if you don't have any teeth left. Oh, God. I like cottage cheese and I like pineapple. But if they ever touched on a plate, I'd throw the whole thing away as, like, an applesauce. I used to have that when I was a kid, it had to be separate if any of my stuff touched. Still to this day, I don't like that. But like, if you've got your peas and your. Anything they touched, ah, you want to.

[Co-host/Guest]

It all goes in the same.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, I'm not one of those because I'm not a hillbilly. Although I think I might be after going to Barrett Jackson yesterday. The only thing I actually really liked at Barrett Jackson, like I was drawn to are Silverados and F150s Old Blazer K5 Blazers and Broncos and Jeeps. That was it. I didn't like. I like. Sports cars are fine. I think they're neat. I'm walking by all these like, Lamborghinis and stuff. Like, yeah, yeah. I get. I see a 1971 K5 Chevy Blazer that's read. I'm like, oh, my God, I was falling a lot. I wanted it so bad. And then the trucks, the redone Silverados and F150s from. You know what's crazy? You go to that. I don't know what's going to be a classic car in the future that doesn't cost us like 400 grand now. Like, there's no, you know. No, it's not that they're bad cars, but there's like, you know, there's no, like, you know, Ford Fairmont or whatever. I guess the Fairlane went for 170. I saw go yesterday. You don't have them. And you get in these trucks and stuff when you're there and everybody's like, oh, it's so great because it's simple. Like, the simplicity is.

[Co-host/Guest]

Well, it gets a point where you have this car. It's old. They don't even have gas anymore.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Yeah, they're out of gas completely on the planet. I just don't know what is going. Like, is the. Is the, you know, Hyundai Sonata ever gonna be there? Yeah, we don't have classic cars anymore. And you open the door of these old cars and it's got, you know, a couple air conditioning vents, the miles per hour, maybe RPMs, couple gauges. Just this beautifully simple thing inside. And then you get into a new car and it's buttons and screens and it looks good, but it's just stuff that can break. It's all kind of cheap. It's not meant to last. You'll never get 25, 30 years from now. Trying to restore a 20, 25 Hyundai Sonata to what it was like off the lot. That's what they do bucks now those. Yeah but and that's that's like kind of the last of them.

[Podcast Host]

Well that's because our generations coming those were the cars back in the day for us. And so now our generation is starting to come up with money to buy that kind of.

[John Holmberg]

But isn't it like the car couldn't.

[Podcast Host]

Afford it back in the day? True. Now you can.

[Co-host/Guest]

But you'd never think a 90s oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah SUV would be.

[Podcast Host]

But it's 30 something years old now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but the 90s SUVs are simple by comparison. Like I don't know what today's and again you go through Barrett Jackson. The cars that were classics 25 years ago are still the high end classics now. Like they're the only ones that are like the Mustang GTOs, even Novas, Barracudas, all those cars that are like if it's 1968 to 1974, that's the wheelhouse of like these are big. I didn't see a lot of 80s stuff at all. There's not a lot of them. Like there's a couple of occasional and IROC or older Camaros were in the 70s. Cause I thought that I'm like where are the ones from. They're all the same classic cars that if I went to a classic car show when I was a kid the same group would have been there. Homebird's morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible radiate upd the fight to the big game.

[Podcast Host]

In Santa Clara continues this weekend and FanDuel is turning on playoff mode because of it. All customers get a profit boost pack every NFL playoff game day.

[John Holmberg]

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[Podcast Host]

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[John Holmberg]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855gun rights or visit restoremycivilrights.com today that's restoremycivilrights.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. But, man, I love those trucks. I was such a hillbilly for the trucks. You got me in that section. I was like, this is where I belong. They look great and man, they're nice.

[Co-host/Guest]

What was the. Not really novelty show, but like the rare car.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I don't know. I, I.

[Co-host/Guest]

The Kennedy limo.

[John Holmberg]

Kennedy's ambulance. Yeah. I didn't see anything. You know, the Elvis's Scooby Doo Mystery Machine and stuff like that. I don't.

[Podcast Host]

What.

[John Holmberg]

What the. The. This was the car? Yeah, the hook car was. I don't know. I have no idea. But yeah, I, But I was just fascinated. I'm such a rube. It's great.

[Co-host/Guest]

Anyway, you didn't buy a gas pump.

[John Holmberg]

We looked at those. They're pretty neat. You go there and say, that's like going.

[Co-host/Guest]

You got the room for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, yeah. It's just dumb, though. It's. That is a buyer's remorse buy. That's like when I was in Australia and we all came back from Australia and then customs. You see all those didgeridoos coming through that thing and every guy's looking like, what was I thinking? It seems like a good idea there, but it isn't good.

[Co-host/Guest]

Do I need that $10,000 big boy, right?

[John Holmberg]

They sell some weird stuff there. I don't know how the lady selling all the geodes is making her nut. If it's 20 grand to have a booth there and she's selling those rocks, I have no clue how she's getting away with that. And also, this is another thing that I've seen in my. In my dire yesterday, my morning of. I saw that the AI has now solved the problem for assisted suicide. It turns itself on and off. There is no human interaction.

[Co-host/Guest]

It knows how to.

[John Holmberg]

So now AI Take a break. AI knows that if the suicide pod has weight in will then commence with verbal commands. Say, are you ready? I will. I will begin the process. So you don't have to have a person program it or turn it on or anything else. You just have to buy a suicide pod.

[Podcast Host]

It's got no emotion. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't care. And it's got a job. The new suicide pod inventor now says the AI powered feature will allow couples to do it simultaneously.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, it's Romeo.

[John Holmberg]

So, yeah. Yeah. You and your wife can climb in there and die together.

[Podcast Host]

It's a. Billy would only would have had that.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know Heywood had to go off and shoot.

[Co-host/Guest]

What are those running?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady, I'm not going to tell you. That was a weird question. But you can print. It's a 3D printed suicide pod. So you just get a 3D printer and some of the materials, it'll print it up for you and then it releases nitrogen and 64 year old woman used it in Switzerland and then turned into this thing where they're like, is that murder? Like nobody did it. Like, it's different when somebody connects it all. But you built it yourself, you created it. It's truly a suicide machine. And then AI says, all right, whenever you're ready, let me know. There's no humans. So these. This guy that invented the AI model says if you want couples can do it. I'm not suggesting to kill yourself, but some people are not going to be happy without their partner. Or do you?

[Co-host/Guest]

You pick, obviously. Pick the voice right on the command.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. You'd probably go with the British guy to keep it classy. Hello. And just not. We're going to kill ourselves today. That's wonderful. If you just climb into the pod. Is your wife going to be joining you? This is a solo adventure. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. No, that's not AI voice.

[Podcast Host]

No, I would push the button myself.

[John Holmberg]

I'm good. No one ever chooses Indian as their AI voice.

[Podcast Host]

Kevin from Discover Card. I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

You're not.

[Podcast Host]

No need.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this, you're not suicidal. If you're still funny enough to throw AI Indian on, what is the thing I can help you with today, my friend? I was just curious. Hey, how old is Tom Petty? Oh, American singer songwriter Tom Petty is 74. He has passed away, however, I had to break it to you. When he died, he was 66. Are we all done or do you have more questions for me? Turn on the suicide machine, Patel.

[Co-host/Guest]

Thanks, Kevin.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that would be the last thing you hear too.

[John Holmberg]

The last one. I'd be laughing and be in the suicide. I'd be sucking in that nitrogen. Well, hopefully you are breathing the last of your good breasts, my friend. Thanks, Kevin. You are awfully happy for a man dying now.

[Podcast Host]

It's you.

[John Holmberg]

That's you brother.

[Podcast Host]

And it would smell like curry. The gas.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not real. He doesn't stink.

[Co-host/Guest]

It doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

AI stink. Yeah, it does.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even say they all smell, even the AI.

[Podcast Host]

Death by curry.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. AI Kevin from India doesn't stink like his foods. Brett.

[Podcast Host]

Well, what Kind of aroma's coming into that death chamber.

[John Holmberg]

Nitrogen. He's not real. You don't get his body odor. No, I think it's authentically. Might as well a guy from Bhopal, but I do like that. If your AI Guy had that, you. You're not suicidal. You're just your friends. What do we doing now? I need directions to Barrett Jackson. Oh, we are far from that, my friend. Oh, my God. Anyway, so, yeah, I want a Boston accent now. They've got. Oh, nobody's done that either. I'd rather have Indian. The suicide pod is for two people, and you can get one and build it yourself. And that's the thing. They've taken away the. The moral issue of, you know, when Kevorkian did it. And for those who don't know, Brady. Brady's mother was involved with Jack Kevorkian. Not in a sexual manner, perhaps. I don't know her whole story. Well, dropped off one of her friends to Kevork and picked up the body. Right. Kevorkian's deal was drop her off at the hotel. He sets up the machine.

[Co-host/Guest]

He had a apprentice.

[John Holmberg]

Basically. They go up, they get a hotel room. They set up the machine in the hotel room, Tell her how it works. The lady is informed on it. She goes in, flips it on herself.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, she just. It's a.

[John Holmberg]

It's a syringe in your hand. Somebody has to administer the needle, though.

[Co-host/Guest]

Drip.

[John Holmberg]

Correct.

[Co-host/Guest]

They hook her. They hook her up.

[John Holmberg]

See, those days are over. Yeah, because that's the second person. So that's why Kevorkian was getting in trouble. It's like you are administering the needle that will kill them, which is malpractice. You're not supposed to want to kill the patient. So they were getting him for murder. They were trying Dr. Death. But now, if it's just a nitrogen tank, you get in, you turn the switch on yourself, and it's built just for you, by you. Nobody else is involved. It took out that whole murder aspect. That's. It's creepy. But in a weird way, you know, you get diagnosed with something you don't want to fight. I'm a big one for. If I get that als, I'm going a little bit, but I'm not going to be, you know, on the news in that chair, talking through the computer. I'm not interested in that kind of world. So I'd climb in one of those pods for that, you know, being able.

[Co-host/Guest]

To, I guess, figure that out in the process of it. If you have ALS and having the capacity.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure. You gotta get. You gotta get to it before it wins. Yeah, you're in a race with als, your hands start messing up. Yeah, we see als, Matt, he's super happy. He's still moving around. He's doing stuff, but, you know, he ain't winning. I haven't heard from him for a while either. I'm a little worried about him. Have you heard from him?

[Podcast Host]

No, and I've been. Any concerts lately?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Podcast Host]

Usually we're running to his buddies there. Yeah, last time I heard about it was in November.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, good.

[Podcast Host]

I ran into him at the Three Days Grace concert.

[John Holmberg]

He was there. He was there and he was still.

[Podcast Host]

Still same, but. But still happy, you know?

[John Holmberg]

So that's good. Gotta stay that way. But, yeah, a couple more days, I'm getting in that pot.

[Podcast Host]

Smelling like curry.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't blame him. And you can turn that off.

[Podcast Host]

What?

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Podcast Host]

The curry fragrance.

[John Holmberg]

I am so sorry about the smell. The authenticity of making my voice have a scent was a bit too far, if you ask me, but okay, my friend. Yeah, bread's just in there.

[Co-host/Guest]

Christ.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to the suicide fort, my friend. Stinks in here. No, no, no, no, no. That is a delightful meal. It does not stink. You are the only one who says that it stinks. Because I think it's. The aroma is fragrant. It is called effervescence, my friend.

[Podcast Host]

I would rethink my decision at that point.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, no. I got to kill myself in a white pot. No, no, no, no, no. There is no better way to go. Their food does stink, though. That's why I don't eat it. And before we move on with anything else, I got emails I want to read. This one says John. I hope you read this email. I'm a local. I listen every day. My brother lives in Chicago, is a podcast listener. He and his wife are putting their boxer down tomorrow, which is today. I was wanting to get a shout out for Dexter. Eight and a half years old, lived an amazing life. Dogs are literally the best part of this life, and it sucks when we lose them, boy. That's a fact. He was diagnosed with cancer in one of his back legs a couple of months ago. Nothing can be done. It's now spreads all over his body. He's not very mobile. I know you have a soft spot for the pups, and I just wanted to give my brother a little pick me up, as this is an obvious hard time for that family. Cheers to all the furry friends. Thanks, Tom. All right, well, we lift one up for Dexter. And give some cookies. Hugs to our dogs in honor of Dexter. I've been through the cancer thing when we lose him a little early, and that is brutal. But Dexter's out there. So everybody who's got a dog, give him an extra hug today and recognize how lucky you are that they're in your life because they're the best. And off of that lovely letter, this one starts off, hey, dickhead.

[Podcast Host]

Wow. All right.

[John Holmberg]

I listen on the podcast. I don't listen live anymore. QT bathrooms are so busy. We talked about this a couple days ago. Said because of people who work outside like myself, we don't have anywhere to go. Landscapers, mail carriers. That's me. Anyone who doesn't have a bathroom nearby has to use the cutie. And it's a very public available bathroom. Large circle Ks offer bathrooms to the public and they're okay too. Everything else is a risk, though. Not everyone has a golden asshole like you.

[Podcast Host]

Take notes and learn.

[John Holmberg]

Can we. Can we change my nickname from the Jew cuck liberal Howard Stern wannabe to golden Asshole? I would. The Golden Asshole T shirts. 20, 25 years. It's what we're kind of a silver really this year, but come on. If I could get known as the golden of Phoenix, I that I might start crying the name of your bar. I personally have medical reasons when I need to go and I need to go right now. P.S. love the show. I've listened for. I even listened 6 years when I moved away and then I came back. Matt A. The golden is all I got out of this. I don't care where you take dumps, Matt. But first off, I pretty much will read every email that starts, hey, that's just human nature. Where's this going? So you got me with your. I believe that's called the salut. No. Is that the greeting salutations at the end? Yeah, the greeting. Hey, like, all right.

[Co-host/Guest]

Attention getting.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta read this wasn't even the subject line. Subject line was QT crappers only. Didn't say it as classy as that. So yeah, golden. I like that. I am Phoenix's golden. And I do have a golden. I can clinch it up during the day. I just had. I'm on prednisone self prescribed.

[Podcast Host]

Does that make you go?

[John Holmberg]

Makes you poop like a goose.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

I was in the bathroom just a second ago because I sit to pee. Keep it classy. And I was like, oh, we almost had Johnny. Had to almost go over to the rental house, take a Shower. It was close.

[Podcast Host]

We got the shower downstairs.

[John Holmberg]

Not using it.

[Co-host/Guest]

Ice cold.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. Not using it. Next commercial break. If that were to have happened. But I was like, you know what? I locked it down. I locked it down. I sent it north. Because you can do that. Do you ever have that moment where it's like, now, now. And you go. And you feel it go. Nope, nope. We retreat and it runs backwards. I did that, and I feel fine. Mind over fecal matter. It's a thing. So, yes, the golden has spoken. And you guys just work harder on your butts. Kegel strength. John.

[Podcast Host]

Don't walk around the Roosevelt district with that nickname. All right, it's gonna change.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna be. I need you to be quiet in certain neighborh me that. There goes the golden lamb of God. Yeah, I like that. I like that.

[Co-host/Guest]

I'd be careful wearing that shirt.

[John Holmberg]

The golden. Yeah, it depends on where I'm walking around. Not going to do it in my c. That's for sure. Michael and Troy start seeing that the competition, and then you start getting into that golden brown, the g GA brand. You like hash browns?

[Co-host/Guest]

What's the g?

[John Holmberg]

It's my golden asshole. It's. It's manic name. I earned it. Yes. And don't yell at me anymore about having a really powerfully controlled anus like some of you guys don't. I work outside. I gotta drop deuces all day. And then you gotta. You got the Crohn's disease or whatever, sack it up. I don't know how it works, but watch what you eat. You know, Crohn's disease. You don't think you're supposed to go guzzling milk and coffee, but you probably do. It's your fault. The golden and I, we have an agreement. My says, hey, my. It's like the end of top gun. I got your back. That's basically what he says. You could be my wing anytime. And we have an agreement. Say, he's never going to let me down. I'm never going to let him down. Like, I'm not going to eat food. That makes the golden say, hey, what are you doing to me, man? I've been good to you. I'm gonna be smart about it. I don't eat chili. Yeah, I'm more of a. I don't eat curry. You and your asshole don't have a good relationship. You've abused it. You put things and make him work harder and Then he's just. It's on me.

[Co-host/Guest]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

And then he's got a slack jaw, and the next time he's got. I can't clinch it up, man. You just keep powering through with fire.

[Podcast Host]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

All those jalapenos fired? Really? Really? For me? Okay, well, next time you are not gonna be able to clinch me up because I'm still breathing too hard. They're making me climb stairs. My ass. My golden asshole understands it. The golden sphincter is another one. If you want to keep it, keep it nicer. The golden cinnamon ring. I like what you people are doing. I have golden assholes. Golden, golden assholes. Nice. Listen to this one. You're gonna like this. This email I got on Wednesday, before I started to die, saved, says, holmberg Emergency. You know who I think of when I hear that word now? Gracie Higgins. Emergency. Emergency. Paging doctor Beats that girl. That AI Girl that dances.

[Podcast Host]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Gotta watch her. Says emergency. In a horrible twist of all things awful, my world is now in turmoil and I need you. My wife and I were at dinner. My side piece walked in, went right by our table. I thought she'd be discreet. She wasn't. She stopped, says hello. I introduced them. Then the side pieces. Husband and son comes by and my wife says, why don't you join us? Oh, she's one of those people.

[Co-host/Guest]

Good times.

[John Holmberg]

I started sweating so hard. By the way, the husband is awesome. Anyway, just found out that the wife exchanged numbers with her and we're supposed to go out as Couples night on Saturday. My wife really likes her. She says she feels like she knows her. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Says, oh, man, this can't end well, can it? What would you guys do? Brian, Scott, Todd, Gary. All fake names.

[Podcast Host]

Call Kevin.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it works.

[Podcast Host]

Get in that booth. Smell like curry.

[John Holmberg]

It's over.

[Podcast Host]

You're done.

[John Holmberg]

Do they have a four man suicide pod?

[Podcast Host]

You're done.

[John Holmberg]

I need more. When she walked by to say hi, how did you act? Like. What did you say? How do you know her?

[Co-host/Guest]

Friendship builds, and now you're.

[John Holmberg]

They're going to be pals.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it gets so low that radar can't detect. No, no.

[Podcast Host]

Not with broads.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Maybe I'm just trying to. Positive. I'm trying to.

[Podcast Host]

There is no positive.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe this goes to a certain level where they get to be like, okay with the idea of the whole thing, but you're gonna have to nail that husband of hers, and then you start swinging.

[Co-host/Guest]

When I was in high school, their neighbors and the the couples hung out and they end up changing.

[John Holmberg]

They swapped out.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The wife with the husband. The husband with the wife.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Still there.

[Co-host/Guest]

Still there and that. And they had. Both of them had kids. They were right around my age.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

And now their stepbrothers. Look at the house next door.

[John Holmberg]

What's with the side piece popping by the table?

[Podcast Host]

You know she's a psycho if she's doing that.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah. That's a.

[Podcast Host]

That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't you see Fatal Attraction? Go rent Fatal Attraction. It's an older movie now, but go rent Fatal Attraction. There's no worse scene than Ann Archer at that table with Glenn Close. And Michael Douglas walks in and she's in the house and she just looks back. Hello, Dan. It's like. Oh, my God. Psycho.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, like in Sopranos, when Gloria gives Carmela ride home.

[John Holmberg]

Drove her home.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they liked each other.

[Podcast Host]

You're cooked.

[John Holmberg]

You're cooked. Yeah. There's a whole myriad of reasons that this shouldn't have happened, but here we are. I gotta. Look, if you guys had dinner together and you ended up liking the husband. Are you gonna pal around? You can golf with a. With. I'm. I'm. You know what? I'm just going to call Keith Morrison now. Because you guys are a Dateline special. Just. It's the. It's the prequel. And then they had a nice dinner together. Or did they? They really seem to hit it off. And that's when Doug said we should try something new and the wheels came off. You ever see a car?

[Co-host/Guest]

Potential grift too.

[John Holmberg]

She can start getting them for cash. I'll tell her otherwise. Now that we're coming, what would you do? Jesus Christ. You pay her. You pay her. You pay everything.

[Podcast Host]

You're paying one way or another.

[John Holmberg]

You ever seen a car with loose lug nuts? If you've ever seen a car drive around with loose lug nuts, that's this guy's life. Gary, Todd, Scott, John, Jeff. You have loose lug nuts and that doesn't lead to tightening. You know what never happens? Lug nuts never start twisting back on. You tighten this ship up. Brady's, right?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I might get a call.

[Co-host/Guest]

So.

[John Holmberg]

I need money. I don't know what you calling me for? Well, it's either give it to me or her, because she's about to. Okay, how much?

[Podcast Host]

I don't need money. Well, I'll just call your wife for it.

[John Holmberg]

She's a psycho.

[Co-host/Guest]

You find out that they're both in, it's over. The Husband.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and that's been on a Dateline special that. That couples target a dude with money and get. And then seduce them. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, remember for a while there, there was that letter that was going around, that email to people and they got a couple of athletes and the one pitcher for the A's or something was like, hey, I just got hit with this. It's a scam. But it was asking dudes for 10 grand. I know what you're doing. And it was really kind of ambiguous because I know what you're doing. And a couple people paid and they paid and they would send money to this guy. Send it right now. And I won't say a word. I'm going to keep this under wraps. But I know exactly what you're doing. I know where you were. I know who you're doing it with. And dudes who were guilty would be like, oh, no. And they were whoever the scam was making money. And then that baseball player was like, hey, this is a thing. Oh, scary.

[Podcast Host]

Game over, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It says yeah, Brett, you'll appreciate this. Steve Greenmire says tell dude he needs to talk the side chick down and have her back off. Like Ginger backed off Nikki in casino. She started to talk about Talon and it was over. Tell that guy to cash out his 401k, fake his own death and get out of this country because he's about to lose everything, man. Yeah, the guy said not many things sound older than when you just said rent that movie. Well, you could still rent movies. You're the old one for thinking I missed videotape. That's all you do is rent a.

[Podcast Host]

Movie blockbuster you can get on Amazon movies.

[John Holmberg]

Beerus, you're the old one for thinking I meant vcrs.

[Podcast Host]

Billy brings up a good point. No way the wife inside piece planned this out. They met there on purpose. It's a trap. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

You can't help imag. It's a trap.

[Co-host/Guest]

Got caught in the sting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. Yeah, but then they like. Did they sit and talk after? I can't believe that. That though that idiot just sat there and acted like everything was fine. I know. Now he's friends with my husband. It's a trap. I don't know what you do. Gary, Scott, Todd, John, Jeff, fake name. Thanks for including us in the mix. Now I feel like an accomplice. I had nothing to do with this.

[Co-host/Guest]

Start the Venmo.

[John Holmberg]

I'm innocent. How do I suicide? Why do I feel like I have to start screwing? I Didn't do anything. I'm not even in this and I'm screaming like, I didn't do anything. I did nothing here. I'm good. Not dealing with this. So, John, what if that guy is listening right now? That's a. He doesn't know that. Well, geez. I. Maybe if you. If you recently. If you're a dude listening and you recently just sat down with some strangers at a restaurant because your wife went over to talk to him and you're friends with him now. Yeah, that dude.

[Co-host/Guest]

That dude just give me a couple of phone calls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's just. Your wife, like crazy. And what is she doing? She's with her husband and her son drags him over to the table.

[Podcast Host]

Marcus. Not our Marcus, but maybe the wife has by interest and this might turn into a swinger thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that's. You Hope so.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Says, oh, this is from Showtime. The dude needs to secret secretly record their next encounter. And at least he'll have leverage on her, too. She's got stuff to lose.

[Podcast Host]

She does, but not as much as he does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because women win and. Right. Yeah, yeah, it's a good point. Yeah. She doesn't care if you expose. Obviously she don't care if you expose her affairs. She gets paid.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It'S a good point. And then that new cool guy you're friends with, he all of a sudden, he's got money coming out of his pockets because he's like, what happened here? It's a good point. Homeburg's morning sickness. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. Yikes. Said maybe it was a side piece. And wife might know each other because vabbing perfume. There's a little mix of DNA and they can smell each other. That's disgusting. Also got a guy, Scott Haynes, says I have Crohn's disease and I work outside and I've never had to use a public bathroom. Lock it up. Yeah, tighten that thing up back there, man. That is a. I don't even want to know what you're dealing with, but I'm sorry. You have it. Maybe you could Eiffel Tower the side piece. That's from Kellen Cooper. That's. I mean, most people are just saying. All right, well, you're hoping for the.

[Podcast Host]

Best with that one. But that's not.

[John Holmberg]

Sliding glass doors are open. Run outside, I guess. Yeah, I like that. Leave. Pull it. Toledo's dad. And just disappear. This guy Andre says, wait a minute. I did just go out with My wife and I met her guy friend from work. Signed office white guy. Thank you. Andre says the wife knows. Dude, they're making you squirm. Women are cruel and unusual creatures.

[Co-host/Guest]

That could be too.

[John Holmberg]

They work at creating stress so your life ends earlier. Men prefer just to punch things in the face. Women prefer to watch them dwindle and die.

[Co-host/Guest]

Watch him squirm when you come to the table.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you have just been kind of time.

[Co-host/Guest]

You know what? She's neat. We're gonna go have coffee. Oh, that's great, honey.

[John Holmberg]

Why would the side piece want that? Why would she be in on that? Helping her out, who knows of the situation.

[Co-host/Guest]

The side piece wanted more and it's.

[John Holmberg]

Starting like, hey, she's got her husband there again. Yeah, like Brett said, side pieces. Like, I went either way. Yeah, like, we screw this guy and my marriage ends. Whatever, I'll get paid. That's a double win. This is. This man must be a doctor or an engineer or something. Matthew Smith says, don't fall for the crotch sauce, bro. Ditch that. Well, that's. I don't know what therapy school you went to, but it's Harvard. I'm thinking probably Yale for sure. Your Ivy League. There's no way you're not in the Ivy League. Probably Stanford. Something with words like that. I mean, he's talking over my head. Someone wants the crotch sauce.

[Co-host/Guest]

That sounds Cornell to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's Cornell. That's a Cornell move. Well, the crotch sauce, that's. I think that's their football team. Although the Crimson, that's Harvard. And that's very crotch sauce colored, so that's gross. Yeah, that made me uncomfortable. Yikes.

[Podcast Host]

It's. It's Paxton and aliens. They're in the walls, man.

[John Holmberg]

Game over.

[Podcast Host]

Game over.

[John Holmberg]

It's bad. Yeah, it's game over. This guy says, hey, golden always. That you wash your hands every 10 minutes. You're the only one in the show that gets sick. I've been sick in two years. It says you're no longer the golden, you're now the germaphobe Jew. I don't wash my hands every 10 minutes. Not much on hand. I wash my hands twice, three times a day. I just wipe my ass. And you know what, Hector? I know that me talking about having a clean ass, that if it makes you mad, it's because you've got rust butt and you've got to hide your underwear from people. That's a fact. The germaphobe. The germaphobe juice.

[Podcast Host]

Funny.

[John Holmberg]

I will hand that to you. I do like that. But golden asshole is better than germaphobe Jew. And I'm not a germaphobe. You guys, anyone who confuses my anal cleanliness with germaphobe, it tells me everything I need to know about you. Guy watches his ass a lot. Yeah, and where's the problem there? If you're bothered by me washing my ass on a regular basis, I know what your underwear looks like.

[Co-host/Guest]

You're gross.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're gross. Your wife looks at your laundry all the time. Well, I was talking to some girl down here in the sales department the other day, and she said she had a friend who's dating a guy and they started to hang out and they went to the house together and he stayed there a couple times and he left his. Left his pants. And she goes, I'll be nice and I'll do his laundry. And she looked down and she's like, there's the longest skitter I've ever seen in my life in this guy's underwear.

[Podcast Host]

Ooh.

[John Holmberg]

Broke up with him right away. Wash your ass. That's not germaphobe. That's called hygiene you're always talking about. No, the only thing I talk about that in detail of that is after every deuce, you should take a shower. That should happen. Some of us can't. Well, then tighten up your butthole and make it so you are shower adjacent after each tooth.

[Podcast Host]

Some of us have to dump a qt, bro.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't have to.

[Podcast Host]

You don't have a golden asshole like you.

[John Holmberg]

I do have a golden asshole, and that is a beautiful thing. And I'm not going to apologize for a golden. I'll get a brown monkey mud like, asshole like, okay, that's not something I'd be bragging about or fighting a guy who's like, that's a golden. My car's filthy all the time. You keep your car too clean like that. I'm going to keep my way. The golden asshole is golden and it's awesome. Oh, twist. Chris Parker has a twist on the story. He says, what?

[Podcast Host]

Parker?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Not that he knows on the couples. What if the side chick and her husband is already hooking up with that guy's wife? Side chick might have tried to get. Oh, what if. Ah, you're the only one who doesn't know that's another one says side piece. And the wife are probably bumping uglies too. Going to drag you into it.

[Podcast Host]

You're hoping, but that's not the case.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's not the case. What if it is on face value, everything it says it is, and they just.

[Podcast Host]

Hi.

[John Holmberg]

And then the wife's like, sit down. And they get along, and it's like, nobody knows anything.

[Co-host/Guest]

It's still a couple. Operates different. They're not really. They're not overly addressed side piece right off the bat. And then let's bring the husband into the mix. They're like, let's.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Swingers. Swingers get into that pretty close right away.

[Co-host/Guest]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But she would have probably offered it up that, like, my husband's fine with this. Like, and if you want to, you know, get involved, like, that would have been after a while, I would assume. I don't know. I don't know. Swingers that I don't. I know a couple of people who have been in the lifestyle.

[Co-host/Guest]

I know a couple people that went out to dinner, you know, with the. Another couple, and they rolled it out.

[John Holmberg]

They'll bring it up. Yeah, we live. And they call it the light.

[Co-host/Guest]

A few guys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I've heard people say, well, I was in the lifestyle. I don't know what that is. I'm not. I don't have. I don't even know if I have a lifestyle, let alone the lifestyle. I don't think I have a lifestyle. I dress like I'm 11. I watch a lot of weird stuff on TV. And it's a lifestyle. Is it not one that you'd brag about, Jerome. I mean, just being alive, you have a lifestyle, but not one that would be like, someone to write about on the Internet and start a community doing the same thing. That's crazy. Anyway, well, good luck, Gary, Todd, John, Jeff, Larry, Bob. Fake name guy. Let us know how that ends, please.

[Podcast Host]

Because your heart may end and we may not find the ending that.

[John Holmberg]

That dinner that shaved eight years off. There's no way his heart. His heart aged eight years at that dinner. However old you are, add eight to your heart because it. It took a beating. And every time that phone rings, if they talk again, if you're. And you're supposed to go to dinner tomorrow. Oh, where are you having dinner? I'm gonna. I'll be there too. I'm gonna sit close.

[Co-host/Guest]

It was the most uncomfortable I've ever been at a McDonald's.

[Podcast Host]

I was trying to eat my riblets, and it just, you know.

[John Holmberg]

So you guys are saying it's a classy operation. The kids were there, Kid was there. How old was the kid? No, it's brutal. Anyway, Brett. Yeah. We're not making this better. None of it like Our reaction? I think the guy wanted actual help and we're telling him kill himself. I think that's.

[Podcast Host]

I think that's the only option at this point. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This one says swingers don't do side pieces without being straight up about it.

[Co-host/Guest]

That's what?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's it. I think they'd mention it too. Yeah, I think that's. Hey, golden asshole. Keep it tight all you want. Emergencies happens. Why? I carry dude wipes. No, they don't. I don't have emergencies. My anus and I have an agreement. It's a contract. There will be no emergencies. That means your butt's too loose. Emergency. Clinch it up. What are you eating? There's your emergency. Can always track back to something you did. It's like 14 burritos. It's an emergency. You did that to yourself.

[Podcast Host]

If you're eating up the shayna truck that rolls up, then you know it's not.

[John Holmberg]

And if you have an emergency, you're sick. Go home.

[Co-host/Guest]

Couple sets of zingers and some Red Bull.

[Podcast Host]

That green chili burrito didn't help much.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah. Ate a red. Red Bull. A Red Bull, some prednisone and some jalapeno zingers. And then my body failed me. It was an emergency. You did that. You. You create. If I light a fire. It's not an emergency. It's arson. The only emergency is for the neighbors because their house is now in jeopardy. You did that to you? Yeah. You don't know. It has Applebee's burgers. They cut in half and put in the queso. I had to have that hour later emergency. No, I don't red run red lights and tell everybody else it's their fault for doing it. Right? The golden asshole thrives.

[Podcast Host]

The golden asshole has spoken.

[John Holmberg]

The golden asshole. We need an echo. The golden asshole has spoken. You're welcome, Phoenix. Wash your ass. Why is that bad advice to. Why do people get mad at it? Keep your ass cleaner. Oh, you just think it's all purple. Jesus Christ. How dirty is your ass that that made you mad? Not all of us have the ability to keep a clean ass bragger. It's hilarious. So many dudes. It's only. It's only 7:30 and you've already got skid marks in your pants. And you're yelling at me. Come on, mop it up. Good to go. Scott Taylor. I know downstairs. He's a nightmare. And he's Mormon. He's got that magic underwear with Skidmore. He's making God Extra mad. Joseph Smith is like, come on, man.

[Podcast Host]

Moroni's a little pissed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's gonna blow that horn early. What do you got there, Brett?

[Podcast Host]

All right, wake up song time. And we got all kinds of stuff. Fear Factory, Cars for Barrett, Jackson, AC dc, Nirvana, the Warning, Sick Corn, Twisted Transistor, Danko Jones, Avatar, White Zombie, A Mirror, Fozzie Leonard, Skynyrd, that Smell for Vapping Papa Roach, Even if It Killed me. And Megadeth covered Metallica's Ride the Lightning. We've had a couple people ask for that. Yeah, it's new. Yeah, it's on the new album.

[John Holmberg]

So Dave's bitter enough to start doing this covering Metallica. Is it good? Let's listen. I'm just curious. Didn't he say it was his idea.

[Co-host/Guest]

He shreds this song?

[John Holmberg]

That was his song, I think. So he's mouthed off about this before.

[Podcast Host]

You want to do it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I want to do it.

[Podcast Host]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Megadeth covered and they let him. You have to get permission to do this, I guess.

[Co-host/Guest]

Unless. Well, I'm saying, pretty ballsy. Did have something to do with the song.

[John Holmberg]

You'd still have to ask anybody else credit it. That's ballsy. It's an interesting. Well, let's see what he did with it. All right, there you go. I don't know what his. Right. He wasn't on this one.

[Podcast Host]

Not on the Metallica version, no.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here it is. Ride the Lightning from the Mustang version. All right, let's see. All right, go get him at your Wake up song. Arizona. Powerful, powerful rock radio station.