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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for.
Brady Bogan
The amazing people at the Core Institute, Life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do.
Brett Vesely
And.
Brady Bogan
And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com youm thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
Dick Toledo
What the hell is wrong with you?
Brady Bogan
Friday Moving along. I gotta remind you, lost her home Pet rescue Chopper is this week's pick of the litter. Choppers a double up. Chopper's an awesome dog. Check it all out@98kupd.com they have so many great animals down there right now. It's just unbelievable. But you go to the picket litter and look at Chopper. Chopper was sweet. Chopper's a cool name, too. It's one of those. You might take Chopper home and keep Chopper's name. They got some sweet ones down there right now. We got. By the way, I got a Chopper Sick Balls. That's. Yeah, Chopper Sick Balls. Was it the stand by me. Yeah, yeah. By the way, everybody emailing in about our buddy Sanjay, who used to work here in his band, which is pretty great stuff. People seem to like it a lot. I did get one comment that I really enjoyed too much, which was the wake up song was great, but I didn't hear one time. Thank you, my friend. Thank you, my friend. In the lyrics. Which is proof Sanjay didn't write the song. But a lot of people, hey, your guy rocks. That song was great. It really is. It's good stuff. So good work by Sanjay. He's already emailed in or text me and said appreciate everything you guys do. Appreciate the show and all the listeners. Maybe you can pop it in there every once in a while. He also was one who told me about another thing because I ordered up that bare nuts yesterday. The Nair for your balls. He sent me a thing called vite aloe vera legs and body hair remover. And he said the key to this thing is you get in the shower, right? You pop it on and then you wait like six or seven minutes max. Otherwise it's chemical burn. So you'll burn up your nuts and your legs. Don't forget to wash it off. I ordered some of that too. So I'll do a product. I'll do my own Dave Portnoy. I'll do my own Dave Portnors thing about hair removal products for your balls.
Larry McFeely
First balls.
Brady Bogan
Now this one's called Vit aloe vera legs and body. He said it's a game changer. It's a life game changer for people like me who are terrible at shaving their scrotums. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call it the Brady report. Then we say Brady report it.
Larry McFeely
Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix.
Brady Bogan
Hello world.
Larry McFeely
We've made it.
Brady Bogan
Hi.
Larry McFeely
Happy national peanut butter and jelly day.
Brady Bogan
Peanut butter jelly time. Larry's gonna be excited about that. He's gonna play that all day. Peanut butter jelly time with a baseball bat.
Larry McFeely
Couple of basis fun facts. Just thinking positively can help you live longer. Studies have found that optimism is associated with a lower risk of heart disease. And people who score highly on tests of optimism live 5 to 15% longer than pessimistic people.
Brady Bogan
Good. Cut some years off my life. That way I won't ever get Nathan Sutherland or anything. I won't. If you die, if you still have all your capacities and you're not laying in a bed getting ice chips, waiting for the last couple hours, no chance you get Nathan Sutherland. Get out of here. Nathan. They can't even say it.
Brett Vesely
And then he's got the dead eyes.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, well, you got dead eyes. And Nathan's looking at you and you hear a zipper go down. You just can't move. And then all of a sudden he.
Brett Vesely
Whispers makushla to you.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, he million dollar babies you. I'd Actually laugh at that while I'm being raped. If my rapist had the nerve to take my incapacitated body and whisper makushla.
Larry McFeely
This one's more of an update. Only one NFL player weighed over 300 pounds in 1970.
Brady Bogan
John Hanna.
Larry McFeely
By 2014, there are over 400 players in the NFL who weighed over 300. Now it's closer to 500, which means more than 20% of the league over 300.
Brady Bogan
It was a big deal to have a 300 pound athlete on the field and to be good. They tried in the past to stuff giants and they just couldn't move because it was all fat.
Larry McFeely
Spirit Airlines has made a major announcement. They're changing what you can wear on the airlines here. Basically they're saying no more see through clothes, no more obscene tattoos.
Brady Bogan
That was a shirts.
Larry McFeely
You can no longer go on the plane barefoot.
Brett Vesely
Yes, it's a problem.
Brady Bogan
You know, I know, but I'm saying it was a problem so much that because they had to make rules, so.
Larry McFeely
Many people do it.
Brady Bogan
Who is one or two. You'd be like, is this a trend? Yeah, is this a trend? Are we gonna. Nope. There's like 18 people on this flight not wearing shoes. And one guy has a tattoo that says your mother.
Larry McFeely
So maybe the lodge is like, you know what, I gotta take my shoes off. Going through the.
Brady Bogan
Just leave them off.
Larry McFeely
The pain.
Brady Bogan
I'm gonna wear them, run around in there like a Flintstone.
Larry McFeely
But now I wonder, would they consider barefoot? Like if you're wearing flip flops.
Brady Bogan
No. Because you're not barefoot. Barefoot is pretty self descriptive. Yeah. If you got circle K feet. You're bare feet. Yeah. You're got nothing on your feet. They are bare.
Larry McFeely
I guess they could be putting them in. They put them in the backpack and then put them back on. But they walked on barefoot.
Brady Bogan
Flippity flops.
Larry McFeely
Put your shoes on.
Brady Bogan
If you have flip flops in your backpack and you're in public, put them on.
Larry McFeely
There's an example that's a guy that.
Brady Bogan
Says hoity toity spirits getting now F.
Larry McFeely
Hate world tour on his sweatshirt.
Brady Bogan
Nice looking.
Larry McFeely
And they, they escorted him off the plane.
Brady Bogan
You can't do that.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And the see through clothes we think would be like from Fredericks of Hollywood. But what it is is those mama nighties that Bob Marley talks about, not the singer, but the comedian. And clothes that are so old that they're now they're so worn out that you can see through them.
Larry McFeely
Not only that the see through, but the crop tops. You come in those Girls were not.
Brady Bogan
These girls are not flying Spirit Airlines. This is just an example. These two could borrow money to get on a better airline.
Larry McFeely
It says underneath there.
Brady Bogan
This is a lie by Spirit Airlines. When they said no more crop tops. And see through. They put this out there so they didn't look like dicks. They're talking about Lizzo. They're not taking a picture. What they really meant because we don't.
Larry McFeely
But they're like, I'm sorry, ladies, we have.
Brady Bogan
Can we use you as an example? We're never getting on a Spirit airline. Spirit pulled them aside and said, where are you guys going? Like, oh, we're going to Denver. What airline? Not Spirit. And then they said, delta. Like, could you go in the bathroom, pretend to be Spirit Airlines? People are going to take pictures and say, these two were never at risk of getting on a Spirit airline ever. When they say, no half shirts, they're not talking about that. They're talking about ladies who you can't tell where their boobs end and their top roll begins. Anything they wear is a crop top. You know those ladies that get so fat that when their rolls start going left it like they become vertical and they have that weird.
Brett Vesely
Like your sausage rolls. You don't want them on the front of these ladies.
Brady Bogan
But you know the ones that for some reason they don't roll down anymore. Like a nice wave, they curve in and make a FUPA in the center. You get the G unit up front.
Brett Vesely
It's very defined.
Brady Bogan
It's very defined. And they have half shirts on. You're not getting on the plane. Spirit Airlines. You know what, I commend them. You know what Spirit Airlines needs to do to stay in business? Raise their prices. I know you're having trouble. Spirit Airlines raise your prices.
Larry McFeely
They do.
Brady Bogan
They bang you for everything, including the air you breathe. Immediate. Yeah, but they fool dummies. Your ticket prices need to be high and then kill all this fee stuff. And then you'll get rid of the riff raff these. You won't have this shoeless problem if you charge too much for them to fly. Those are Greyhound people. We keep them in Greyhound. You start making Greyhound prices on planes, guess what you're gonna have in the air. But a lot of they fly are the Greyhound type places. Pigs Knuckle, Arkansas and stuff like that. You know, I mean. Well, now I'm curious about where pigs Knuckle. I'm going to Pigs Knuckle. Now I'll drive. I won't take Spirit because until they race, I'm not Getting on a plane that doesn't charge me at least 250. You got to have some pride in your transportation. If somebody said, hey, I'll give you a ride to the Phoenix Open, I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, $2. I'm like, what kind of car are we riding in? Oh, it's a 1961 Opal. Never mind, I'll walk. You got to have pride in what you're selling me. And if there's no price on it, I know that it's not very good. If you can keep that thing afloat for nine bucks a seat, expect nine dollars, people. The Greyhound of the sky. And you're surprised at your clientele. You have to put rules down. Stop it.
Larry McFeely
This lady from Newtown Township, Pennsylvania, right outside of Philadelphia ordered Instacart some groceries around 7:30 in the evening last Saturday. Didn't tell her husband she did it. The Instacart guy shows up bringing the groceries to the door. Oh, honey, I think there's an intruder at the house. He goes out there and shoots a guy in the leg.
Brady Bogan
Gotta tell a guy that there's somebody not stealing groceries that you didn't get yet. That's a pretty hair trigger, though. You have to notice that the guy's actually bringing you items.
Larry McFeely
Here's the woman telling her husband, here's the husband. Money. There's an intruder.
Brady Bogan
This dude was on mushrooms.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, he's Josh Wolf.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, his eyes are still dilated. I don't know what he's taking. There's something going on there. There is. There's some fella trying to drop off goods and services on our front porch. I'm gonna kill him.
Larry McFeely
Looks like he's got groceries. I'm shooting him.
Brady Bogan
Whose groceries are those? Not mine. I don't want any part of this. Stop shooting Instacart people, too. Don't be mean to anybody who's. That's the best service in the world.
Larry McFeely
In Norristown, Pennsylvania, three people are arrested for allegedly selling fake Jason kelsey signed memorabilia. $200,000 worth. Robert Capone. Leon Bronco. Sorry. Joseph Parenti.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, this is.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, Brett's still looking away because his.
Brady Bogan
Name'S about to get said.
Larry McFeely
60 felony counts including forgery, theft, deceptive business practices and other related charges.
Brett Vesely
Any comment?
Brady Bogan
No, I don't know about that.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God.
Larry McFeely
That here's a picture of Bobby Capone.
Brady Bogan
Oh, Bobby Capone it is. Too bad this isn't 20 years ago because Michael Madsen will play the role of Bobby Capone. Oh, yeah. How about that? All Birds. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible.
Dick Toledo
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Brett Vesely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne, now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is blowing kind of cool, but it really.
Brady Bogan
Smells like a basement.
Larry McFeely
What can I do about that?
Brady Bogan
Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.
Brett Vesely
Is that a big deal to get done?
Brady Bogan
Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.
Larry McFeely
That's awesome.
Brady Bogan
I'll say We're Amco.
Brett Vesely
Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.
Brady Bogan
A whole lot more.
Diane Fisher
Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 Emmeclintock. Fisher Tools has been building the Valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also online@fishertools.com KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. 50 fish or tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.
Michael
This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation. Consultation today, Holmberg's morning sickness.
Larry McFeely
We have a new sent to me social influencer on YouTube and Instagram. Her name is Bumble Pre.
Brady Bogan
Get on that, Brett. All right.
Larry McFeely
The world's first adult diaper influencer. She's 27 years old.
Brady Bogan
She wears diapers.
Larry McFeely
She has a problem. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Yes, she does.
Brett Vesely
Like, for real problems.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Loneliness.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. And she models the adult diapers. No.
Brett Vesely
Oh, she pulls them up, John. You know she does.
Brady Bogan
She's hot. Well, her face isn't. Yeah, she's got a little Chaka Picani going up. Up north. Great boobs, great stomach. But the diaper says no, thanks.
Larry McFeely
She's popped up in videos from the leading indie diaper brands in the us. Tie, dye, llama print. Extra fluffy, super discreet.
Brady Bogan
She says she's for the fetish schists, but if you just take the last two letters, that and switch around, what? They're really there for the fetishists. She's incontinent.
Brett Vesely
Did you say one of their brands was Fluffy?
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
You don't remember?
Larry McFeely
Extra Fluffy?
Brett Vesely
Extra fluffy.
Brady Bogan
Is that for fat people or for.
Larry McFeely
Those are the styles of adult diapers.
Brady Bogan
Do you want, like a real puffy.
Larry McFeely
And you get, you know, tie dye, print.
Brady Bogan
Sure. You just.
Larry McFeely
It won't stop little llamas on there.
Brady Bogan
To impress your mate. So when you drop your pants and they see a load in them. Boy, can't wait to get down there.
Brett Vesely
Speaking of loads, it looks like she's.
Brady Bogan
Got something up in the front there. I noticed that, too.
Larry McFeely
Super absorbing.
Brady Bogan
She's a five at best. Good, good. Like if you didn't see her head. Yeah. If that was just a shot.
Brett Vesely
But then.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Shoulders to hips, eight. Yeah. Diaper zero, face, four. So I think Brett's right. That'll about a five, two and three quarter stars. Yeah. Maybe a five. I'm not saying five because that diaper that zeros is being generous, but, you know, could you imagine you take her home to the. From the bar and you're like, yeah, this is on rockin bod, you know? Yes. You got your hands on her and then you pull her thick panties down. Like, these are weird. And you just look down and she's got a baby diaper load in there. You drop them on the four and you flop. I'm sorry. While we were talking at the bar, I. My pants. Good thing I wear a diaper. Yeah, yeah, it's real good.
Larry McFeely
Oh, bumble.
Brady Bogan
Do you guys have Waymo or should I Uber? I'm leaving. Let me pull These back up. Please don't go.
Brett Vesely
It's like that new Kia ad where she just kind of under the table, presses a button and the car comes.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's what you need.
Brett Vesely
That's what you need.
Brady Bogan
It'll be the only thing coming that.
Larry McFeely
Night a couple of weeks ago.
Brady Bogan
Oh, God, she's got too much teeth. She's got caveman teeth. They're super white, though. Is that her diaper?
Larry McFeely
There's a bunch of bumble pre. Bumble pre?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, she's dropping four, three. She's eating a lot of bran. That's probably not a good idea. Donuts stay off the sugars and starches items with them. You're gonna be shooting stuff out of you. What a freak.
Brett Vesely
Too much black lipstick.
Brady Bogan
Well, that's the least of her problems. She can eat all the black licorice she wants. There she is in a thick diaper. Look at the cans on her, though. Take out that diaper and that picture's outstanding. And then diaper, that's a deal breaker. I don't think I. I don't think.
Brett Vesely
That'S the shot that you need as a guy, honestly.
Brady Bogan
And it sounds shallow, but I am kicked off spirit. I'm super shallow, so it doesn't bother me that you say I am. I don't think I love anybody enough to make it through the diaper days. Temporary. Like if you had surgery or something, you got to wear a diaper for a couple days. I'll give you that. It's funny, but if it's forever, I'm not.
Brett Vesely
Absolutely. At least that talk the other night.
Brady Bogan
I'm afraid your wife is going to have to wear a diaper for the rest of her life. My ex wife, you mean?
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Oh, you were divorced? No, we're gonna be that. That's her next husband's gonna have a lot of heart.
Brett Vesely
I told Lisa I would expect her to do that, too. You'd talk about me in the Ex as the ex?
Brady Bogan
Oh, I wouldn't even go home.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
I go to the doctor and like, Fred, you're incontinent forever and you gotta wear diapers. I just go get a room somewhere, text. It's over. What do you mean it's over? It's not you, it's me. It's all me. Literally. Yeah. Remember that thing I told you how my ass hurt a little bit? Doctor says it's never gonna get better and I'm gonna dump in my drawers for the rest of my life. So good news is, I'm gonna off myself. You're gonna get a lot of money. I'm not sticking. I'm not gonna try with a new person. Sorry. People listening right now in diapers.
Adam Farrar
I had three kids.
Brady Bogan
It sounds like a you problem and I just don't love you that much.
Adam Farrar
I went through all that for our children and you won't stay with me because I wear a diaper.
Brady Bogan
Did you hear yourself at the end there when you said because I wear a diaper? That's precisely correct.
Larry McFeely
25 year old dude in Kentucky named Manja James Wooten got into an argument with a Wendy's employee. It started at the drive thru when Manja was furious because his fries were cold. Things got heated.
Brady Bogan
Not the.
Larry McFeely
Walked into the. Not the fries. He walked in the restaurant, pulled out a gun, fired a shot. Female Wendy's worker pulled out a gun herself.
Brady Bogan
Nice.
Larry McFeely
That was Tawanisha Coleman.
Brady Bogan
Yes.
Larry McFeely
And fired back.
Brady Bogan
We're not even gonna play the game. Yeah, no reason to play. What color is this crime?
Brett Vesely
You think Tanisha can possibly be native?
Brady Bogan
What? What does Tuanisha weigh? Is the only thing.
Brett Vesely
Like that's the.
Brady Bogan
Let's play. What does Tuanisha weigh?
Larry McFeely
Tuanisha versus Manja Coleman.
Brady Bogan
Is Manja a guy? Yeah, I'd say Manja is skinny. Tanisha is a big girl.
Brett Vesely
I think they're both big.
Brady Bogan
There's no thin Tuanishas.
Brett Vesely
I'm going double zero. John.
Brady Bogan
Who? Tuanisha.
Brett Vesely
Both of them together look like double zero.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. No, it's going to look like two bowling balls.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
20. Do you have pictures, Brady?
Larry McFeely
Oh, yeah, I think it's pretty much.
Brady Bogan
Let's take a guess.
Brett Vesely
You think it's a 10?
Brady Bogan
I think it's a 10. Let's take. Oh, I think he's the 10, man. Just a one. And Tuanisha is a big zero. I'd say 26 is pushing 240 higher. But I'm going higher than that. Really? Yeah. I'll go 240. They say higher.
Larry McFeely
Tanisha is six, seven. No.
Brady Bogan
Let's see a photo.
Larry McFeely
This is shoulder. She's not thin.
Brady Bogan
Oh, Tanisha's big.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
This is bigger than 250.
Brady Bogan
No, she's. I think she's right on pace with me. Oh, yeah, I think I got. I think I got about a230.240 guess on that. That is exactly as I picked. And he's skinny. Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Let me see his face.
Brady Bogan
This crime tells its story by name.
Larry McFeely
Well, one of the employees got hit.
Brady Bogan
Be more street. Yeah, I can. And he's Five, eight, maybe. Standing in front of that shot, you can kids judge a book by its name? I always do. Not necessarily by the COVID but by its name. That's a 10. Walking down the street, Tuanisha is fat and guaranteed looks like Tracy Chapman got eaten by Tracy Chapman.
Larry McFeely
And now it's time for some science news.
Brady Bogan
Tanisha got a fast car.
Larry McFeely
Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. There's a little breakthrough on sun damage. We were wrong about what causes sun. Sunburn. The moon study found the mainly damages the our rna, not DNA. Experts now say they can design sunscreens.
Brady Bogan
That are more effective because they don't work right now.
Larry McFeely
Blocking the road.
Brady Bogan
Okay. This is worse than the vaccine. They've been throwing sunscreen at us at $20 a tube for the last 30 years, saying you're gonna die if you don't use it.
Larry McFeely
That's middle of the road.
Brady Bogan
Now they're saying never had it. Right.
Larry McFeely
The mini moon that got sucked into our orbit for a couple of months. Probably a chunk of the actual moon.
Brady Bogan
Cool.
Larry McFeely
Meanwhile, a different mini moon was spotted in 2004. Finally got a real name of Cardia. Named after the Roman goddess. Door hinges. She's the Roman God.
Brady Bogan
You are making this up. Now let me take a lap.
Brett Vesely
Come on now.
Brady Bogan
None of that's real. Come on now. Half of that is written in crayon.
Brett Vesely
Bought right into that.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
Was this Kirby's report names a mini moon Cardia, which is the Roman goddess of door hinges.
Brady Bogan
Can't be.
Larry McFeely
C A, R, D, E A. Look it up, my friend.
Brady Bogan
Oh, don't act like you. Like you brought this to.
Larry McFeely
Because I did.
Brady Bogan
Peacocking around the room. Now go ahead and look it up. Test my knowledge. Hinges, handles and thresholds. She's also the protector of children and a goddess of hell.
Brett Vesely
I'd say those two. Those last two.
Brady Bogan
So she's more of like the guardian of the gate. She's the egress ingress goddess. They have a lot of dumb ones. That's one of them. What a cruddy gig she had.
Brett Vesely
No kidding.
Brady Bogan
Wait.
Brett Vesely
I'm a God, but you get to.
Brady Bogan
Be a goddess of what? I don't know. Hinges on doors. How about that? That's all we got left.
Larry McFeely
Scientists have found a planet.
Brett Vesely
Take it or leave it.
Larry McFeely
With 20,000 mile per hour winds. Surface.
Brady Bogan
Cool.
Larry McFeely
And astronomers thought they discovered a new asteroid. But it turned out it was just the Tesla Elon Musk. Launched into space for fun back in 2018.
Brady Bogan
No kidding. They saw it and thought it was something else. We don't even know where it is. Just science. You can't trust science and you can't trust religion. It's weird. Well, science at least admits you can't trust them. They'll figure out, you know, they're the first one. If religion found out that the sunscreen they'd been selling for the last thousand years wasn't good, they wouldn't tell you. Science at least goes. Whoops.
Larry McFeely
Guess what? China announced a big foot race between humans and robots. It will happen this spring. Robots from more than 20 different companies will run a half marathon in Beijing against 12,000 people. The rules say they have to look vaguely human, have two legs. Not for the robots.
Brett Vesely
Oh, he didn't Again, you didn't clarify.
Brady Bogan
We're going to have those sex dolls running around with. Great. We're going to have to have you guys tape your eyes open a little bit if this is going to work. You vaguely, vaguely look a little alien to us over here.
Larry McFeely
So the, the robots have to have two legs, not four. And they can't have wheels.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
Larry McFeely
They say it should happen sometime in April.
Brett Vesely
If it's those Boston Dynamic robots, it's over.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yes. They just.
Larry McFeely
Well, you got 20 companies that are.
Brady Bogan
Gonna compete through it. They say things that are horrible.
Brett Vesely
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Brady Bogan
Homeburg's morning sick. Not allowed to do that ever again. By the way.
Brett Vesely
Wave.
Brady Bogan
Well, yeah, cuz he waved somebody in the hall. I know. Give him a head nod.
Brett Vesely
Okay. Sorry.
Brady Bogan
It's like you're waving in an Uber order. Everybody stopped what they're doing cuz to's got a parade route.
Larry McFeely
He's on cinnamon toast. Oh, that's your science news.
Brett Vesely
And now food news. It sounds like.
Larry McFeely
Yes, sir.
Adam Farrar
You had me at cinnamon toast.
Larry McFeely
Go Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Teamed up with Totino's Pizza rolls for a new pizza pie cereal.
Adam Farrar
Ow. That's Ghosty Jack look out, Earth.
Brett Vesely
You're a Totinos fan.
Adam Farrar
Totinos. A little angel droppings on a little pat. And then you sell some Cinnamon Toast. Cinnamon Toast Crunch tastes good on your grandma's ass. Nothing about seven Toast Crunch is bad. Shut your mouth, Tolito. Just start waving like you're the grand marshal. Go ahead, Brady.
Larry McFeely
Basically, it's pizza with cinnamon and sugar. They're not selling it in stores, damn it. But you can. You'll have to win a box by going to the Cinnamon Toast Crunch online store next Tuesday.
Adam Farrar
All right?
Larry McFeely
I'm not handing out 1,000 boxes.
Adam Farrar
Don't forget, I love me some of that idea of poured sugar and cinnamon or pizza pie.
Larry McFeely
This is right up your alley, Ralphie.
Adam Farrar
All right.
Larry McFeely
Finance Buzz is looking to hire Someone to taste 20 different Super bowl snacks from Costco at once. It'll pay a thousand dollars plus a 500 gift card.
Adam Farrar
All right?
Larry McFeely
Anyone can apply. Living a day, Even ghosts.
Adam Farrar
I'm doing it. Brandy, you need to apply for that.
Larry McFeely
They're calling it the Sideline Sampler Side Hustle. You have to taste 20 different snacks, including wings, pizza, mini tacos, mozzarella sticks.
Adam Farrar
You need to be honest because it speaks to your insatiable appetite and your inner Jew.
Larry McFeely
Oh, I'm signing up, Alf.
Adam Farrar
Because you get yourself 500 bucks for eating like a pig. You do that for free? Every day.
Larry McFeely
You'll photograph each item, write a brief description, rate them based on how good they are and how hard they are to make.
Brett Vesely
Nothing will get below three and a half stars.
Adam Farrar
That's right. He doesn't have to do that. It's food they tried. Aces, baby. That's a good score.
Larry McFeely
The cutoff for applications is next Wednesday.
Adam Farrar
Lessons, that C word. And that star drain that makes apple pie. That bitch takes a beating. And blueberry peach. Nice job. What's this? Apple Basic bitch. Taylor Swift ass piece.
Larry McFeely
Don't bring that here, Ralphie.
Adam Farrar
I'd rather. I'd rather eat your puke. Cinnamon Toast crunching pizzas.
Larry McFeely
So long, Ralphie.
Adam Farrar
I gotta go. See you guys later. I'm hungry.
Brady Bogan
All right, you got go right to Brett, okay? I'm not that late. A little late. Maybe if you weren't running around saying hello to everybody that walks by the door.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, get those.
Brady Bogan
30 seconds. Threw us all off. You don't need your producer going, hey, this is a gorilla here throwing T shirts. Go ahead, Brett. All right, hang on. Like some guy in the hallway with a gun. I just won movie passes. Let's start out here with a little Motorcycle action. All right, he's on the. Oh, he's on the median. Or he's on the. Oh, Jesus.
Larry McFeely
The car cuts and touches wagon.
Brady Bogan
Oh, no. He's laying in. The bike just burst.
Larry McFeely
So does he.
Brady Bogan
The bike burst into flames and st. So did the dude in the street who just hit the car. I've never. That's like a cartoon. The gas poured out of the hip endowed. Was he. He was. Was he on the shoulder?
Larry McFeely
He's got a cape on.
Brady Bogan
Because if he's not on the shoulder. Well, hold on. If he's not on the shoulder, then the dude cuts him off from the middle lane. But I'm pretty sure that's just the shoulder. He hits the brakes, goes over the front of the motorcycle.
Brett Vesely
It's a solid white line.
Brady Bogan
And then the damn bike bursts into flames. And he does, too. I've never seen anything like that. Wow. All right, let's move right along because I know we're behind. Here's a very, very. Oh, that's a chocolate ass right there. And it is leaning over. What? I think that's a sink.
Brett Vesely
This bumble pre.
Brady Bogan
And this is 20. Oh, it's pure diarrhea.
Adam Farrar
Wow.
Brady Bogan
Is that a toilet? That's a toilet.
Adam Farrar
Wow.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Brady Bogan
And she's just resting her anus on the edge of the toilet.
Brett Vesely
What's with this? Oh, that is the tub right there.
Brady Bogan
Is it frozen? Did we freeze up?
Larry McFeely
She's between the tub and the toilet.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, she's leaning in. Oh, God. It just. It's getting a little thicker. We'll just. It's pretty much it. We've seen that one before. Now We've seen that one before. That's where she pulls the L7. Oh, Jesus. The fat lady pulled out the tampon. Thanks for keeping that from us. Jesus, I hate Friday. How about this? Okay? Some lady on some sort of wild sex machine that's in her butt, and it is going. What is that, Brett?
Brett Vesely
The front of her is talking to you.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's a piston in it.
Larry McFeely
At Barrett Jackson were selling those.
Brady Bogan
Did they have that? This thing is in her butt going a thousand miles an hour, and it's. It's making her vagina look like my face with no sonic. Wow. I can't even describe that. I can't. Well, it looks like if you want me to play it again. Yeah, I'll do it. Okay. If you pried my eyes out and then started to, like, grandma, shake my cheek. There you go. Because her lady button is the size of my nose. And when they get the close up on that thing. Yeah, that definitely looks like me. I like how it looks like it's screaming. It looks like eyeless me at the dentist. And it sounds like that's actually the sound coming out. That's the sound coming out of the vagina.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I believe it.
Brady Bogan
I like how Bob Vila shows up to readjust the prose. How did that guy know when it was over? That is. All right, next up on the Sibian is Brady's dad. Let's see if we can make a vagina shake and talk. It'll finally just beg to quit, I think. All right, little house cleaning action. Picking up some dust off the ground. She did a little sweeping. Dust. It's hair and dirt and dust Bunch. He says she's.
Larry McFeely
Come on.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it's a him and a lady.
Larry McFeely
They're dead.
Brady Bogan
All right, A lady's. There's a dust bin. Putting it. All right, let me explain before you guys start screaming your endings. He's cleaning the house. And you know what? As punishment for cleaning the house, this lady has a clamp in her honey hole. And he's pouring all of the stuff she didn't get done as a good woman. That's right. Right into her vagina. Now floors are clean, huh? Yeah. Well, let me take a broom and check your work. All right. Put the clamp in.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God.
Brady Bogan
I guess there was a little room in the vacuum bag.
Brett Vesely
Wasn't it clean?
Brady Bogan
And he takes a dustpan of more swept up goods and pours it in there. And whatever that plastic thing is that keeps her open like a gynecologist's tool. And he does some. You know, he makes sure. He makes sure it's stuffed in there nice and tight.
Brett Vesely
You think she's got a standing appointment at the er?
Brady Bogan
Oh, they're tired of seeing her. They got a sign up that says, do not serve this woman. And then we'll just end here. We. We keep trying to figure out what the new trend is this year. Last year was the snorting and stuff, but this could be it, too. All right, here's a. Here's a woman's genitals, and we're putting in maggots. Maggots and a syringe are being injected into a lady's privates. And there are a lot of them. And that's a big. Oh, that's coming out. It looks like brown rice. Oh, my God. And now he's trying to pack them in with his hands. I wouldn't even touch him, let alone. Now we're on Some sort of a time lapse. Sneaking out. Oh, it's sneaking down to the bottom on where the delicious food lives. How long does this last? Where do you get that many maggots? And how do you wrangle maggots?
Larry McFeely
You have to set something, you know, rotted out there.
Brady Bogan
You got a rot. And then pick each maggot between them. Because they had no. Like, there was no. Well, no. They had no remnants of what they pulled that out of.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, that was pure maggotry.
Brady Bogan
Maggot was maggotry. That's right. These maggots, I tell you what. And then you gotta load them one at a time, I'm guessing, into that syringe. Or at least, like, get an Asian to help you with some chopsticks. That's going on out there.
Larry McFeely
Lady loves maggots. I mean, you have to.
Brady Bogan
The Internet did this. The Internet did this. Because there's no way these people would have found each other before the Internet. That would have been something somebody would have just thought and said, I'll never bring this up to anyone again. And then you anonymously talk about maggots and genitals on the Internet. And somebody goes, hi, my name's Sarah. Got it here. I'll do that. All right. You guys, listen to that new lady on ktar. I think she's Prince Jackson. This morning, it's like, hi, it's KTAR news. I'm Jim Sharp. And I'm Ladonna De Donna Jamo. Jamuna. KTR news. Her name's Ladonna. Ladonna. She hit me this morning with some deep pipes. Welcome to KTR's Morning News. I'm Jim Sharp. My name's Ladonna. Ladonna. Timur. Dino me the news. She's got a serious set of pipes on her. Distractingly heavy. Yes.
Larry McFeely
Wow.
Brady Bogan
One morning I was driving in, just listening, and she goes, I don't know about any of that, Jim. I was raised in a trailer park. Okay.
Larry McFeely
Got some competition.
Brady Bogan
Okay. KTAR news. Immigration. Immigration's bad. Mexicans.
Larry McFeely
Her first appearance is a bare knuckle fight.
Brady Bogan
See me at Trevor's from 36th street and Indian School. I'll find anybody who tries to ditch my pie. Ladonna. Ladonna. Thanks, Ladonna. It's so bad that their traffic guy isn't even at work anymore. He was on the phone this morning. Good morning, Aunt Jim. Ladonna. Hey, Roller. Sup? I've never heard a woman with a deeper voice in my life. How you doing? Hello, Donna. I know Brett's heard it because he's laughing like he knows. She hit me hard this morning, actually, kind of like, whoa, I got to turn the subwoofer down. My car went. She was talking. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that's her. I hate to make people go listen to another show. They're over now, so you can't hear. But maybe Monday during something, you know, or you're bored with Brady talking about how many women love him. Kick over the ktr. I can never be bored of hearing that story. I talked to Mark Kelly. He's the senator today. Let's have a listen. Mark, My name's Ladonna. Ladonna.
John Holmberg
Jesus Christ.
Brady Bogan
Anyway, it's 8:34. Adam Farrar's here, right? Yeah, he's just killing time between sets. And Barrett Jackson visits.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, he's probably mad that he's here and not there.
Brady Bogan
One of the finest scams anybody's ever had. He books himself for Barrett Jackson for the free flight and room. Genius goes up there, does the ha ha's for a couple hours, but he's not here for you. We'll talk to him about that a little bit. Adam joins us in just a second. So there goes your Brady Report. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (January 24, 2025)
Podcast Information:
Host: John Holmberg kicks off the episode by promoting local comedy events in Arizona. He provides detailed information on performances at various improv venues:
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg: "For tickets, go to standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com, and tempeimprov.com." (00:00)
Speaker: Brady Bogen promotes the Core Institute, emphasizing its role in pain management and recovery from injuries.
Notable Dialogue:
Brady Bogan: "Life can throw you a curveball now and again... All you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute." (00:31 - 00:58)
This segment features humorous banter between Brady and Dick Toledo, highlighting the show's comic undertone.
Speaker: Brady Bogan discusses the week's featured pet rescue, "Chopper," an adorable dog available for adoption.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogan: "Chopper was sweet. Chopper's a cool name, too." (05:50)
Speaker: Larry McFeely and Brady Bogan delve into Spirit Airlines' new dress policy, discussing its implications and the show's critical stance on the airline's approach.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Larry McFeely: "Spirit Airlines has made a major announcement. They're changing what you can wear on the airlines." (05:25)
Brady Bogan: "They're talking about Lizzo. They're not taking a picture. What they really meant... Spirit Airlines is the Greyhound of the sky." (07:15 - 08:37)
Speakers: Larry McFeely, Brady Bogan, and Brett Vesely discuss Bumble Pree, dubbed the world's first adult diaper influencer.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Larry McFeely: "The world's first adult diaper influencer. Her name is Bumble Pree." (14:07)
Brady Bogan: "She's a five at best. Good, good." (16:39)
Speaker: Larry McFeely and Brady Bogan explore recent scientific discoveries, blending factual information with the show's signature humor.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Larry McFeely: "Was this Kirby's report names a mini moon Cardea, which is the Roman goddess of door hinges." (22:54)
Brady Bogan: "She said it was mostly damage to our RNA, not DNA... They're saying never had it. Right." (21:27 - 22:15)
Speakers: Larry McFeely, Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, and Adam Farrar discuss innovative and quirky food trends.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Larry McFeely: "It's pizza with cinnamon and sugar. They're not selling it in stores, but you can win a box by going to the Cinnamon Toast Crunch online store next Tuesday." (26:29 - 26:41)
Brady Bogan: "It's like pizza pie cereal? That's crazy!" (27:02)
Larry McFeely: "Finance Buzz is looking to hire someone to taste 20 different Super Bowl snacks from Costco at once. It'll pay a thousand dollars plus a 500 gift card." (27:32 - 28:24)
Throughout the episode, the hosts share and react to various listener-submitted stories and current events, maintaining an engaging and often irreverent tone.
Notable Segments:
Instacart Intruder Incident (09:52 - 11:37): A listener recounts a troubling encounter where an Instacart delivery was mistaken for an intruder, leading to a shooting.
Brady Bogan: "Stop shooting Instacart people, too. Don't be mean to anybody who's..." (10:17 - 11:01)
Fake Memorabilia Arrests (11:07 - 12:00): Discussion on arrests in Pennsylvania for selling counterfeit Jason Kelce memorabilia.
Brady Bogan: "Too bad this isn't 20 years ago because Michael Madsen will play the role of Bobby Capone." (11:25 - 12:00)
Car AC Smell Issue (12:30 - 13:32): Advice segment featuring Amco representatives responding to a listener's complaint about a smelly car AC system.
Brady Bogan: "Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year." (12:38 - 12:54)
Speakers: Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, and Larry McFeely engage in light-hearted and humorous exchanges, often mocking sound clips and visual content related to bizarre and graphic imagery.
Highlights:
Motorcycle Accident Discussion: The hosts describe and mock a violent motorcycle accident scenario with exaggerated details.
Brady Bogan: "The bike burst into flames and so did the dude in the street who just hit the car." (29:07 - 30:02)
Graphic Content Mockery: They react to unsettling images involving maggots and inappropriate visuals, maintaining the show's edgy humor.
Brady Bogan: "He's putting maggots... That's a syringe being injected into a lady's privates." (33:07 - 34:53)
Local News Parody: A humorous take on a new KTAR news anchor with an unusually deep voice, blending satire with actual news snippets.
Brady Bogan: "I'm Ladonna. Thanks, Ladonna. It's so bad that their traffic guy isn't even at work anymore." (36:02 - 37:42)
John Holmberg's "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" delivers a vibrant mix of local promotions, quirky news segments, listener interactions, and unabashed humor. This episode stands out with its eclectic topics, ranging from airline policies and unique social influencers to bizarre food trends and satirical science news. The dynamic interactions between John and his co-hosts ensure an engaging listening experience, filled with laughter, critique, and a touch of the unconventional.
Key Takeaways:
For those seeking a blend of humor, local insights, and offbeat discussions, this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a memorable start to the day.