
Loading summary
John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Corey Walsh
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.
Brady
And.
Corey Walsh
And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com youm thought that was funny?
Thriller
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?
Emily
Emails rolling in for Corey.
Corey Walsh
Typical Hubbard radio move.
Emily
I used to work for them, dragging their feet on Corey's birthday. It says, this one says, tell Corey, take Cory to Chuck E. Cheese and take a picture of him sitting behind the six large pizzas on all the empty chairs. Like that kid in Tucson. Remember that? We take him out there and say, hubbard birthday party for Corey and nobody came.
Caleb
Are we doing that today?
Emily
It says Corey got overlooked on his birthday and Caleb and Alec from Shriners just drove buying a Ferrari and flipped him off. You ever get offered to do one of those deals?
Brady
No, no, no. I'm not broken enough.
Emily
Really? You have to be a little bit busted more. I tell you, you'd have been great at that.
Alec
Yeah, they would have.
Brady
They would have melt me for all I'm worth.
Emily
First off, you're probably adorable as a kid, right?
Brady
That's what my mom says.
Emily
And then you went into that awkward face like Caleb's going through that now. Nobody wants to see Him. But yeah, you'd have been. And you can speak. Yes, you're good. Spokesperson.
Brady
Much better than Caleb. That's for. Darn.
Emily
And then I came up with this idea because we know Corey. You were premature.
Brady
Yes.
Emily
Which is one of the reasons this happened.
Brady
Oh yeah.
Emily
And so we missed your birthday. But the good news is we can celebrate when it was supposed to happen.
Brady
Yeah.
Emily
Because this is the six month. Whoops. Birthday. We'll get you on that. Nine one. When was your birthday supposed to happen?
Brady
Early March.
Emily
Okay. Pick a day and we'll have Corey's real birthday. This made me mad. And you know what? A lot of people in your corner says, thanks for doing this for Thriller, John. Yeah, I know you're doing it because it's funny as hell. But I realize and I sense reality in your voice. You're 1,000% right to put all these cucks on blast. It's a mean girls club and a cool kids club and it's BS and it goes on everywhere.
Brady
Is that an ex employee? What is that?
Emily
I don't know. His name's Ron. I don't know. He's got a limp too. All right.
Brady
Sick.
Emily
Happy birthday, Thriller. I got time. He deserves a penguin costume for this. Courtesy of Hubbard. That's right. You see what happens when you start making fun of guys?
Brady
All I have to do is complain to the one of the biggest guys here and it works.
Emily
That's right. Brady. I think he's talking about you. Oh, you meant like how dare you.
Alec
Now I've got a problem.
Emily
Brady's getting. Brady's birthday's next week.
Alec
Yes, I guarantee you they'll be next week.
Emily
Door decorations, There'll probably be like a cake. There'll be emails like crazy. Brady will get 300 well wishes from everyone else.
Caleb
The best part is Brady's not sharing his birthday with you. It's his.
Emily
That's right.
Brady
My cake, my birthday.
Emily
Unreal. Did you watch the Penguin?
Brady
No, not yet.
Emily
No. It's pretty good. A little slow, but yeah. It's a character build. It's good stuff.
Caleb
And it's the Sopranos type thing.
Emily
It's very.
Caleb
At first, Tony Soprano.
Emily
It bothered me at first. And then it was just so damn good.
Alec
Okay, dive back.
Emily
But it is absolutely a character. It's an old school character build. It's not a lot of. There's a lot of talking. Anyway, it's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com, the home of tactical black self defense Training. If you want to get on out there, they've got that deal now. It is not a deal now. It is just cement. This is how it is. You want to get in good shape and you want to do it and. And you know, take a chance. So it's two months for 199 bucks. You're going to A, get in great shape and B find out what you're made of. Too sweet. It'll be quick and you're going to love it, trust me. 199 bucks for two months personal training. That is unbeatable and that is the price. That's just what it is now. Also have the ladies self defense seminar coming up in April 25th. You get on that for 199 bucks. You get the seminar which is incredible. Hands on super training and you get a month of training on top of it. They got all sorts of offers right there@reactdefense.com you check it all out and you say that's for me. Trust me, you will stop being a sheep. Start being a sheepdog. Be one of the good ones. It's the home of Tactical Black Brady and Thriller Entertainment.
Alec
The Philadelphia Eagles are selling snow from last week's playoff game against the Rams. 50 bucks for a pint. They put it in a pint container surrounded by dry ice. They'll ship it to you. I think might something that would be a little more appropriate.
Emily
I'll tell you.
Alec
This is selling snowballs. They threat Santa in 1968.
Emily
Two things. I'm not going online to buy snow and snowballs because I'm not getting snow from Philadelphia. I'm gonna get cocaine and I'm gonna a couple of gay guys knocking on my door ready to feed me some sort of strange.
Alec
You want Philly water?
Emily
Yeah, he wants.
Alec
It's a little early, don't you think? That's for the NFC championship.
Emily
You've gotten nothing done yet. You're right. Who you got in Super Bowl? Corey.
Brady
Let's see. Well, I'm assuming Chiefs.
Emily
Yeah.
Brady
Like it or not. And then I forget the divisions here. Who else has an option at this point?
Emily
There's two you don't even know. You work at a sports. This is why nobody emails you.
Brady
Well, I focus on drinking. I focus on the week to week. Teams are gone now drinking.
Emily
Yeah, he has been drinking. What's that name?
Brady
Chief's bills. If possible.
Emily
Can we get a lady to service Cory for his birthday?
Brady
Oh God, yeah.
Emily
No, you're just a man then. I'm sorry. I want to earn it what do you mean you want to earn it?
Brady
It feels better.
Emily
It's overrated.
Caleb
Just take it.
Emily
Earn it every time you walk down.
Alec
This hall, you've earned it.
Emily
Yeah, You've earned it just by being upright and mobile. You want one? All right.
Brady
Thank you, though.
Emily
Just checking in. Triple get it for you.
Alec
Amelia Perez earned the most Oscar nominations with 13. But what's kind of cool is Demi Moore.
Emily
Wait, is that a person or a movie?
Alec
13 nominations. Amelia Perez is an actress.
Emily
Is it?
Brady
I have no idea who that is.
Emily
I think it's a movie.
Alec
Maybe it is.
Emily
Because I've never heard of Amelia Perez.
Alec
Oh, yeah.
Emily
And if she had 13 nominations, she directed it, she produced it, she did the costumes.
Brady
Yeah.
Alec
Who was in it? Yeah, yeah, it was a movie. It was a movie.
Emily
There's no way one person can get 13 nominations. Oh, it's that musical murder mystery.
Alec
Yeah. Then. Then Wicked, then The brutalist got 10 each. But Demi Moore was nominated for best.
Emily
Actress for the substance.
Alec
Yep.
Emily
She's very good in it. Have you seen that?
Brady
No.
Emily
Movie's really good. It's a ham handed message about, you know, beauty in the world and how we overdo, you know, it's. To me, it's a Kardashians knock because they're like, look, you can. You can try to recapture your youth with surgery and serums and all sorts of stuff, but eventually you're gonna turn into a monster and then it gets real goofy at the end.
Alec
Thriller has a story for Brett.
Emily
Yes, go ahead. All right.
Brady
Tan France from Queer Eye cuts his hair after reading fan comments. Oh, apparently he's not a huge fan of that, so.
Alec
Got rid of the pompadour. You're a big fan. I thought you followed this guy.
Brady
Yes. Gone. He cut it off.
Emily
He cut his hair off completely.
Brady
Because it seems like it.
Emily
The Internet pushed it.
Caleb
I mean, I thought he did middays at Katie kb, but I'm not sure.
Emily
I just got an email from Caleb from Shriner says, what did Hopalong Cassidy say about me? You tell that son of a bitch I'll shove my wheelchair right up his ass. I'm gonna keep my name out his mouth and he knows what to fill it with instead. Caleb from Shriners suck on my adorable blanket.
Brady
That is a fight I know I will not win.
Emily
You would lose to Caleb from Shocking.
Brady
He has a wheelchair. That's a weapon. Oh, you're.
Emily
He can't lift that.
Brady
No, but he can run you over. He could run you over.
Emily
You could stop Caleb's momentum with a.
Brady
Broken foot at that point.
Alec
I mean, he's a little bigger now, but he's not crushing.
Emily
It's not like he's hit the gym. He's not Caleb Momoa or something. I mean, Brady's picturing Caleb to look like De Niro from Cape Fear. Now, come out, come out, wherever you are. Corey.
Alec
No, Alec. That would be a good chance.
Emily
Alec, you'd lose a fight.
Brady
Yeah. Yeah.
Emily
But Caleb, you'd kick the living crap out of Caleb. First off, he's scared to get punched. All his bones are made of paper. Machine.
Brady
It's literally one good hit and he's cooked.
Emily
You ever been in a fight? No. Oh, we gotta get that happen.
Brady
There's no point.
Alec
You want it to happen. No.
Caleb
Look at Brady.
Alec
I mean, because sometimes you're like. Maybe there are people that like, you know what? I'd like to get into a fight one time. Just.
Brady
That's your Ohio talking.
Emily
Do you want to come with me to Tactical Black once and work the bag in the room?
Brady
Okay. I'll be busy all weekend with sports.
Emily
I didn't say this weekend.
Alec
I'm just letting you know. At 99 years old, Dick Van Dyke still works out three days a week.
Emily
It didn't show when the fires got his house. He couldn't make it up the driveway.
Alec
Well, he was working out.
Emily
Oh, he was working out.
Alec
When that happened.
Emily
He was out of gas.
Alec
Yep.
Emily
Bad timing.
Alec
Had to wheel them out. Jeff Beck sold his guitar collection. 120 guitars pulled in a little over $11 million.
Emily
All of them.
Alec
All of them.
Emily
Does he have arthritis or something? Why is he getting rid of all his guitars?
Alec
I don't know if.
Caleb
$11 million. He ain't done with anything anymore.
Emily
I'm good.
Alec
The 1954 oxblood Gibson Les Paul's Les Paul set sold for 1.3 million. I'm drunk.
Emily
Brady had a shot of Ezra, too.
Alec
This is pretty cool. 2025 is Motorhead's 50th anniversary. There will be things planned throughout the year, including some vinyl reissues. But no words from Lemmy.
Caleb
Yeah, I would think so.
Alec
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Emily
Somebody just emailed me and said, Holmberg, what happened to the Squares today? I waited all week to listen to the Squares we boycotted in honor of our host of the Squares thriller, Corey Walsh. Because some complaints.
Caleb
Emily.
Emily
Send your complaints to Emily Newkenkrantz. Emily. N. I'm guessing just N. Word.
Brady
No, that's Bratz.
Alec
That's Bratz.
Emily
Oh, that is. Emily is in charge of just general Hellos and goodbyes. I'm getting tons of emails. People love the Thriller.
Brady
Thank you all for the support. I appreciate it.
Emily
Man of the people, for all your bluster. You do have a heart. You bastard. We love you, Thriller. Aw, see?
Brady
Thanks, guys.
Emily
John Gordon. John Gordon's here.
Ron
Welcome, Corey, to the Emily Hates Me Club.
Emily
Are you in it?
Brady
What?
Ron
I'm in it.
Alec
Have you started it?
Emily
Actually.
Brady
What did you do?
Emily
Wait, you never get one.
Ron
I never get one of those.
Alec
Ever.
Emily
Does she think you're a midget?
Ron
I probably.
Emily
She hates all people with birth problems. Yes. You've never gotten a birthday wish from her?
Ron
I did once, because you complained you've.
Emily
Worked here as long as I have.
Ron
Or longer.
Emily
Yeah. You're 25 years in. Yeah.
Ron
I never get one.
Brady
She has a selection.
Emily
She is picking and choosing. Tripp, come on in here. Apologize. This is garbage. This. Is that a thing? I can't believe this. What a place we work. My God.
Alec
Maybe I'll get blanked.
Emily
So that's the only two so far.
Caleb
That we know of.
Alec
We might have made the list.
Emily
Well, we did. This year I celebrate my own birthday. There's no way you don't know my birthday. I'll tell you if she doesn't. How about that? Anyway. Well, I'm sorry, John, that hurts. But at least you can walk.
Alec
When should we look forward again? When's your birthday? June 29th.
Emily
Yeah, I knew that. We're the same exact age. 28 days apart. Anyway, well, happy birthday to you and we'll celebrate your real one in March. There's Corey. The should have fallen out date. Yeah. Don't bring your family in.
Brady
Oh, really? All right.
Emily
Sure. Mesa.
Alec
All right. We'll have bluebell for him.
Emily
We'll have some ice cream. Emily will be sure to let us know. That's it. But we'll get squares in on next. Today's a boycott of the squares because we had to stand up for our friend. We're. It's a sympathy strike. We didn't pick it because he can't even make a circle but still stand in front of the door with a sign. Anything you're doing this weekend?
Brady
Mostly just covering NAU and ASU sports.
Emily
That's it. What's ASU doing? Basketball. Women's basketball and a birthday. Jesus Christ.
Brady
Big 12 play, man.
Emily
Emily. Emily should have to run that board. That's the punishment.
Brady
I like working with Mon. He's great. Oh, Jeff's great.
Emily
But Emily should have to do it. And you get the day off for screwing your birthday up.
Caleb
This guy said that Corey needs to buy this for Emily for her birthday.
Emily
It's a book called the bitch that forgot birthdays. I don't think we've gone that far with Emily. That's hilarious.
Brady
He had that on the rib. He was ready to go.
Emily
That's a real old apparently.
Alec
Yeah.
Brady
I don't know. That title looks almost like Photoshop.
Emily
Though the title may be photoshopped.
Alec
Can't be reals.
Emily
Why not? That's great. All right. Anyway, well, happy belated. I feel terrible, Cory.
Brady
Thank you, guys. I appreciate it.
Emily
We're gonna get you drunk on Sezrack today and send you on your way. That's it for us.
Alec
Salt and vinegar chips.
Emily
Yeah. Happy birthday from us to you. That's it for us. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a fantastic weekend, and we'll see you on Monday right here in the morning sickness. Hello, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Thriller
College hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a beat the buzzer special featuring your choice of beatbox or buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joined since 1983.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: Entertainment Drill - FRI - Philly Selling Snow From Divisional Game Win
Release Date: January 24, 2025
The episode kicks off with John Holmberg (00:00) sharing the latest on local comedy events in Arizona. He highlights performances at various venues:
John encourages listeners to secure tickets via the respective websites, setting a lively and engaging tone for the morning show.
John Holmberg (00:00): "Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday."
The show transitions into lively banter among the hosts, primarily Corey Walsh, Emily, Brady Bogen, Alec, and occasional guest Ron. The conversation is peppered with humor, playful teasing, and personal anecdotes.
A notable segment involves discussions about missed birthday acknowledgments:
Emily (02:00): "Tell Corey, take Corey to Chuck E. Cheese and take a picture of him sitting behind the six large pizzas on all the empty chairs."
This leads to a humorous exchange about celebrating Corey’s actual birthday, emphasizing camaraderie and light-hearted teasing.
Midway through the episode, an Entertainment Drill segment introduces promotions from React Defense, offering tactical self-defense training deals. Although promotional, the hosts seamlessly integrate these segments into their conversation, maintaining an entertaining flow.
A significant highlight is Alec announcing a quirky product launch by the Philadelphia Eagles:
Alec (05:00): "The Philadelphia Eagles are selling snow from last week's playoff game against the Rams. 50 bucks for a pint. They put it in a pint container surrounded by dry ice. They'll ship it to you."
This unique offering sparks amusing skepticism from Emily and further jokes about the practicality and implications of such a product.
The hosts delve into discussions about recent movies and pop culture phenomena. Alec brings up fictional accolades attributed to "Amelia Perez," leading to confusion and humorous denial from Emily:
Alec (06:32): "Amelia Perez earned the most Oscar nominations with 13. But what's kind of cool is Demi Moore."
Emily (07:01): "There's no way one person can get 13 nominations. Oh, it's that musical murder mystery."
The conversation satirizes exaggerated achievements in the film industry, blending sarcasm with playful mockery.
A recurring theme is the celebration of birthdays, particularly Corey’s. The hosts engage in a mix of genuine well-wishes and jesting remarks about forgetting or overlooking birthdays. Emily takes a jab at Corey, reinforcing the show's signature irreverent humor:
Emily (10:31): "Man of the people, for all your bluster. You do have a heart. You bastard. We love you, Thriller."
This segment underscores the tight-knit dynamic among the hosts, balancing mockery with affectionate camaraderie.
As the show nears its conclusion, the discussion shifts to sports, with Brady mentioning coverage of local sports teams:
Brady (12:56): "Mostly just covering NAU and ASU sports."
Furthermore, Alec highlights upcoming anniversaries in the music world:
Alec (10:14): "2025 is Motorhead's 50th anniversary. There will be things planned throughout the year, including some vinyl reissues. But no words from Lemmy."
This segment provides listeners with insights into current sports events and upcoming cultural milestones, enhancing the show's informative aspect.
The episode wraps up with a promotional segment for Hooters, detailing their game day specials:
Thriller (14:11): "College hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99."
The hosts bid farewell to listeners, maintaining an upbeat and engaging atmosphere until the next show.
John Holmberg (00:00): "Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday."
Emily (05:19): "I used to work for them, dragging their feet on Corey's birthday."
Alec (05:00): "The Philadelphia Eagles are selling snow from last week's playoff game against the Rams. 50 bucks for a pint."
Emily (07:22): "The movie's really good. It's a ham-handed message about, you know, beauty in the world and how we overdo, you know, it's a Kardashians knock because they're like, look, you can try to recapture your youth with surgery and serums and all sorts of stuff, but eventually you're gonna turn into a monster and then it gets real goofy at the end."
Thriller (14:11): "College hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters."
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness exemplifies the show's blend of humor, local entertainment news, and dynamic host interactions. From promoting local comedy acts to engaging in playful banter and discussing unique sports merchandise, the hosts maintain an entertaining and relatable atmosphere. Notable segments, such as the unconventional "Philly Selling Snow" and the ongoing birthday jokes, highlight the show's ability to mix content seamlessly, ensuring listeners are both informed and amused throughout the broadcast.