01-26-26 - BR - MON - Fun Facts On Snow, Being Snowed In And Associated Weather - 18yo FLA Woman Arrested For Throwing Pork Chop At Mother - Brady Tries To Sell Us On Lego Crocs And Denies His Love For Them

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (HMS) – January 26, 2026

Main Theme:
A light-hearted, irreverent look at “snowed in” weather across the U.S., oddball news (a pork chop assault in Florida), Crocs vs. Lego Crocs fashion, and the crew’s signature banter about comfort, fashion, and human nature. The team also shares viral videos and unpredictable visual content.

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1. Opening Banter: Sickness and Arizona Weather Pride

• [01:19-02:55] John Holmberg opens on a self-deprecating note about feeling ill, comparing his current cold to COVID and joking about how Obama’s “sneeze into your elbow” legacy changed public behavior.
  • “I think that’s the legacy of the Obama presidency. I’m not real sure what else he did, but that was gold. He invented that sneeze in your elbow thing.” – Holmberg [01:35]
• Arizona Weather vs. The Rest of the Country:
  • The hosts celebrate Arizona’s ideal January weather as the rest of the country freezes, mocking “season” lovers and appreciating how locals seek shade while others seek heat.
  • “Is it proof we just live in the best place ever? ...Everyone else’s weather sucks. It’s perfect.” – Holmberg [03:32]

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2. National Peanut Brittle & Spouse Day

• [04:30-05:39] Brady reminds everyone it’s National Peanut Brittle Day and National Spouse Day, sparking bemusement from the group:
  • “Isn’t that your anniversary?” – Holmberg [04:39]
  • “Unlike Valentine’s Day, this is a day created for giving time rather than gifts and celebrating your spouse.” – Brady [04:46]
  • Holmberg is skeptical, warning this will just lead to more gift expectations from women, and jokes the day’s been “canceled” for men’s sake [05:16].

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3. Fun Facts: Snow, Salt, and “Thundersnow”

[05:51-07:18]

• Snow Ratio:
  • “It’s been estimated that 1 inch of rain equals 10 inches of snow... but... can be anywhere from 6:1 to 18:1 depending on the atmosphere.” – Brady [05:51]
• Thundersnow:
  • Brady explains “thundersnow”—when thunder happens during a snowstorm.
• Salt on Roads:
  • “More than 22 tons of salt are used on U.S. roads each winter.” – Brady [06:44]
• Holmberg riffs on why they left the snowbelt—“Snow sucks.”—and expresses his disbelief at anyone voluntarily moving for seasons [06:54-07:14].
• Snow Days Stories:
  • The crew reminisces about snow days; Holmberg recalls living in New Mexico where the town panicked over a dusting of snow [07:20].

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4. Viral & Oddball News

DoorDash’s Snowed-In Warning & Snow Measurement Mishap

[08:14-10:23]

• DoorDash ‘Warning’ Post:

  • Doordash cautioned women about being “snowed in” with a random man after hooking up—“Ladies, be choosy.”
  • Holmberg jokes: “If you have a one night stand before a massive... you can’t get out. This is a horror warning.” [08:44]
  • “If you’re a dude, you’d find a way home. You’d go Jack London on that and get sled dogs.” – Holmberg [08:57]

• Meteorologist’s Awkward Request:

  • Lacey Swope in OKC asked for ‘snow measurements’—flooded with men sending her their penis sizes.
  • “Most of the replies were men that range between three and seven.” – Brady [09:58]
  • “One guy joked it was too cold for an accurate measurement.” [10:11]
  • The segment is full of juvenile humor and gender satire.

Florida Pork Chop Assault

[10:45-12:33]

• Weirdest Crime of the Morning:
  • An 18-year-old woman in Florida, Farrah Kernan, arrested after drunkenly throwing a pork chop at her mother’s face.
  • “She threw a pork chop at her mom. And it landed. Landed. Faced her.” – Brady [11:16]
• The crew debates if she’s “white trash” or “trailer trash,” then agrees based on name/location.

---

5. Hasbro’s Mr. Potato Head Moves; Charity Fallout

[12:40-14:03]

• Hasbro moves Mr. Potato Head headquarters from Rhode Island to Boston, making RI locals upset.
• Issues concern the Mr. Potato Head license plate (strictly RI, proceeds going to local food banks).
• “If Mr. Potato Head is the only thing keeping your orphans going, you come up with a new plan anyway.” – Holmberg [13:41]
• The group jokes, poking fun at the idea of orphans being saved by novelty license plates.

---

6. Travel News: Subway’s Gift Card Middle Seat Promo & Southwest Changes

[15:24-16:55]

• Subway Gives $20 Gift Cards to Middle Seat Flyers:
  • Tomorrow, people can send a selfie from the middle seat to Subway's website for a $20 gift card [15:36].
  • Holmberg jokes about faking it with a mock-up plane seat at “tactical black” training gym [15:50].
• Southwest Airlines Ends Open Seating:
  • Notable industry change—assigned seats begin; discussion on pros and cons ensues.
  • The hosts reminisce about the “old days” and strategies to get good seats (Holmberg shares his “watching porn on the plane” strategy to keep people away [17:20]).

---

7. Fashion Mockery: Crocs, Lego Crocs, and the “Jibbitz”

[18:06-21:22]

• Lego Crocs at Paris Fashion Week:
  • New $150 Crocs featuring LEGO bricks make headlines. Brady tries to sell the idea – crew scoffs.
  • “They’re brick shaped... They’re celebrating the Lego.” – Brady [18:23]
  • Holmberg threatens to fire Brady for knowing the word “jibbitz” (Crocs charm accessories) [18:39-19:01].
• Brady’s Past Crocs Love:
  • The team roasts Brady for nearly buying Crocs, reminding him he’s not a retiree yet.
  • “This is the annual reminder that you need to say thank you to me for stopping you from being a Crocs guy.” – Holmberg [18:54]
• Classic group dynamic: relentless, affectionate mockery.

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8. Wild Viral Videos: Shock and (Dis)Gust

[21:26-27:43]

• Brady’s Weekly Videos:
  • The group reacts live to graphic or bizarre viewer-submitted clips (minefield accident, snowbillies, deep-throating stunts, etc.).
  • “You’re on the dark web again. All I have is hot girls trying to show me their snooches. This dude’s got every dirty Middle Eastern or nasty war video.” – Holmberg [22:25]
• Notable Visuals & Reactions:
  • Man deep throating enormous dildos, someone farting powder, and a woman receiving an eye-full in a porn video—all play for shock value and disgusted laughter.
  • “Dude could do that. Leave it to a guy to do it better.” – Holmberg [25:52]
  • The team makes fun of each other’s social media algorithms being full of “cripple videos” and “milky triple” as a potential band name [23:00].

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I used to just sneeze in my hands. And Obama came along… That’s the legacy of the Obama presidency…he invented that sneeze in your elbow thing.” – John Holmberg [01:35]
• “Snow sucks. If you had to wake up every morning and move piles of leaves just to go somewhere, you'd be miserable.” – Holmberg [06:54]
• “I’m going right through that snow. I will walk.” – Holmberg on being snowed in after a hookup [08:57]
• “She threw a pork chop at her mom. And it landed. Landed.” – Brady [11:16]
• “If Mr. Potato Head is the only thing keeping your orphans going, you come up with a new plan anyway.” – Holmberg [13:41]
• “This is the annual reminder that you need to say thank you to me for stopping you from being a Crocs guy. Because your elderly father wore the Crocs.” – Holmberg to Brady [18:54]
• “You’re on the dark web. All I have is hot girls trying to show me their snooches, this dude’s got every dirty Middle Eastern or nasty war video.” – Holmberg [22:25]

---

Key Segments & Timestamps

• Sickness stories & Arizona weather: [01:19–03:45]
• National Spouse/Peanut Brittle Day: [04:28–05:51]
• Snow & Weather Fun Facts: [05:51–07:18]
• DoorDash & Meteorologist Measurement Mishap: [08:14–10:23]
• Pork Chop Assault: [10:45–12:33]
• Mr. Potato Head License Plate Fallout: [12:40–14:03]
• Subway Gift Card & Southwest Airlines Update: [15:24–16:59]
• Brady’s Crocs & Crew Fashion Debate: [18:06–21:22]
• Wild Video Reviews & Banter: [21:26–27:43]

---

Final Notes

This episode is classic HMS: goofy, fast-paced, and roaming from weather talk to gross-out humor, fashion mockery, and viral video reviews. The chemistry between Holmberg, Brady, and the crew keeps things moving—even if the jokes peel off into the absurd. If you missed the show, this summary covers the weird news, the Crocs debate, and the raucous signature video segment in all its irreverent glory.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[John Holmberg]

It's the cold. It's the medicine. I'm on all sorts of it.

[Brady]

I'm dizzy.

[John Holmberg]

Do not get this. Don't get too close to your speakers today because when I'm pumping out, it's awful. Glop makes me miss Covid. Covid was nothing compared to what I got gooing around in my chest. You know when you sneeze and you do that new Obama sneeze, everybody goes into their elbows. That happened during People used to sneeze. All you young folks don't remember, we used to just sneeze in our hands. And Obama came along and did that thing. You're like, yeah, that's better. That is the bet. I think that's the legacy of the Obama presidency. I'm not real sure what else he did, but that was gold. He invented that sneeze in your Elbo thing. But now on my gray sweatshirt that I'm wearing today, I've thrown two in there. And pulled away, stuck to it for a second. Kind of had to rub it into the sweatshirt. Would have been horrible in my hands.

[Brady]

That's how the dab started.

[John Holmberg]

It is dabbing. Yeah, you dab it. That is the. And that caught on immediately. Like, why didn't we think of that? I remember that 30 Rock did that episode and Tina Face sneezed into her elbow and as she pulled her arm away, there was a wet silhouette of Obama's face. He invented it. I know people have been doing it, but he was one like, you should probably all try this. It's disgusting to sneeze in your hands. It's been 17 years, maybe max of us not sneezing into our hands anymore. I used to be encouraged cover your face and then you just rub them together on your jeans or something. It's gross. But don't get this. Whatever it is, if you start feeling sniffy, go to call on doc.com and get rid of it immediately. It is gross and it ain't normal. Like amounts of hangs around sickening and drags your ass down. I felt. I felt like junk since like Wednesday night Thursday. It's been awful. It is time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you the way by. By our [e-mail] almost had one right there. AllProchade.com will take care of you. They'll shade up that back patio of yours as we go through yet another week of 70 plus degrees. Watching the weather everywhere else suck. Is it proof that we just live in the best place ever? It's perfect. Talking about 30 below zero and power outages. Like we don't have that. Don't tell those idiots. I like seasons. You can have them. This is a season I like the most. It's perfect. So you can sit out and try to. Here we are talking about trying to find shade. Everybody else is trying to find like fire. This is awesome. All Pro Shade will take care of you and get that back patio looking fantastic. If you got a space that's got too much sun, too much glare and you want to sit in it, but you just can't. All Pro Shade will design something beautiful. It'll actually beautify your home and add some property value because they make it look like it's supposed to be there. Not that it's just jammed on. Check it all [e-mail] Brady Reporter Good.

[Brady]

Monday morning, Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg (alternate intro)]

Hello world.

[Brady]

Happy National Peanut Brittle Day and National Spouse Day.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that your anniversary?

[Brady]

Crickets.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, I like what is that you get all the rest of the days, you don't pay attention to it.

[Brady]

Unlike Valentine's Day, this is a day created for giving time rather than gifts and celebrating your spouse.

[John Holmberg]

It's every day. Supposed to do it all the time.

[Brady]

Couples are encouraged to spend alone time and to reflect on their journey. So far.

[John Holmberg]

So it's also going to be divorced.

[Brady]

Scientific research has shown that 20 minutes of holding hands with your partner or cuddling can release hormones that leaves you both happier and feeling good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's nice. Don't tell everybody they're gonna make gifts out of this eventually. Women won't let this go. Well, you didn't give me anything for National Spouse Day. Oh, no, it's another one. Let's not propagate that, Brady. It's been canceled. By the way, I just got this. AP newsline just came. They've canceled National Spouse Day.

[Brady]

I'll give you some peanut brittle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's called your anniversary. Anniversary and Valentine's day. You've got enough days. We're not getting anything out of this, so let's not get excited. Boys.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. Traditionally, it's been estimated that 1 inch of rain equals 10 inches of snow. That's known as the 10 to 1 snow ratio. But in reality, could be anywhere from 6 to 1 to 18 to 1, depending on the atmosphere conditions.

[John Holmberg]

You know, who's never gonna have to worry about that. Yes, that's exactly right, Brady. We moved away from it for a reason. It's not human conditions.

[Brady]

There's some places around that we're feeling a little thunders. Thundersnow.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

Where the thunder rumbles during the snowstorm. Other fun fact for snowflakes, they fall within the range of one to six feet per second.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Something else we won't have to worry about. More than 22 tons of salt are used on US roads each winter.

[John Holmberg]

Because it sucks. Snow sucks. If you had to wake up every morning and move piles of leaves just to go somewhere, you'd be miserable. Snow shows up and it just blocks everything. We don't have to deal with it. We just. Again, everybody who's a little upset, just be happy you live here. It's a perfect.

[Brady]

Sure, you don't get a snow day. I know schools. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, that does kind of stink.

[Brady]

I mean, those were great.

[John Holmberg]

Those were great. You know, the best place I ever had snow days was when I lived in New Mexico, because they panicked. I moved there from West Virginia where it snows like piles of snow. And we moved it in Christmas time. So go back to school in January and it snowed like a tenth of an inch. It just threatened to snow on. The buses were spinning like nobody knew what to do. Like the kids can't go to school for like four days. We missed two days and didn't even snow the second day.

[Commercial Announcer]

Did you have snow days in West Virginia? Oh, we didn't have them in Montana.

[John Holmberg]

We had snow days and then they would like occasionally just say school starts at 10. Like they would tell you, you're not, don't get up yet. Let's just clear this out. And we'd trudge through it. I mean a foot. The only thing they didn't want you to do was walk around in a blizzard and they didn't have a ton of that. But when I lived in northwest Indiana, we did.

[Brady]

Doordash. Got a little heat. Over the weekend they posted a. A thing on X basically talking about the ladies being snowed in. And it's a ladies it. If Saturday comes and you get snowed in with that man, there's nothing we can deliver to help. Please be choosy.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, are you saying that if you have a one night stand before a massive.

[Brady]

The snowstorm came in. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can't get out. This is a horror warning.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

For doordash, an Amber alert.

[Commercial Announcer]

For basically an alert that says you shouldn't invite him to your house.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

If you're a dude, you'd find a way home. You'd go Jack London on that and then go get sled dogs and stuff to get me out of this house. I don't know what would over like, what would be more powerful, that feeling of wanting to leave when you've, you know, finished up on a girl and you're like, oh, I don't like her and I gotta get out of here. Or like the weather stopping you because that is a powerful feeling to want to be away from. No, I'm getting. I'm going right through that snow. I will walk.

[Brady]

There's nothing. Yeah, I. Yeah, you could walk.

[John Holmberg]

She'd stay. That would be worse. If she's at your house. You got problems, but never let them know where you're.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's a meteorologist, Lacey Swope, she does a weather at News 9 in Oklahoma City and she was a little too vague with a request for viewers to send in snow measurements. On Saturday, she posted on Facebook to ask people to send Us Your measurements. Oh, she got measurements.

[John Holmberg]

I bet dudes.

[Brady]

Most of the replies were men that range between three and seven.

[John Holmberg]

Three inch guys chimed in.

[Brett Vesely]

Those guys doing.

[John Holmberg]

Why are they doing that? Three inchers decided the weather lady's talking about me.

[Brady]

One guy joked it was too cold for an accurate measurement.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, it would be a funny picture to go out in the snow and measure it.

[Brady]

Women got in on it, too. Both sending in their measurements.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sean Rockefeller just text these in Dayton, Ohio. He lives there. And he goes, 18 inches. Because I got to move back to Phoenix immediately. I hate this. It sucks. He's blind. He doesn't even get the beautiful parts of snow. He just gets the cold wet. Gross. Everything's in the way.

[Brady]

We have a Florida. 18 year old in Florida is behind bars. She got into a fight with her mother. Her name is Farrah Kernan. And she was arrested for battery following a disturbance. She went home. She's talking with her mom. Evidently, they got into an argument. And she threw a pork chop at her mom. And it landed. Landed.

[John Holmberg]

She landed. Faced her.

[Brady]

Faced her. She called the police. The police came in and the girl had been drinking earlier that day. That's what triggered things.

[John Holmberg]

It's white trash, but it could also go a different direction.

[Brett Vesely]

What's her name?

[Brady]

Farrah Kernan.

[Commercial Announcer]

That's a white girl name.

[John Holmberg]

It is a white girl name, but poor jobs.

[Brett Vesely]

Where's it at again?

[Brady]

It's in Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, of course it is.

[Commercial Announcer]

White girl.

[John Holmberg]

You Googling her?

[Brady]

No.

[Commercial Announcer]

Should I?

[John Holmberg]

Farrah Kernan. I got a picture.

[Brady]

There is a little picture. Yeah, it's from. I'm gonna go with a bigger one.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'm trailer trash. I'm gonna go with a black girl on this. Really? Yeah. I think I'm.

[Brady]

I think I smacked her mom in the face and then threw her pork chop.

[John Holmberg]

She took a swing first.

[Brett Vesely]

There's no black kids swinging at their mom.

[John Holmberg]

You make a good point there. That would be the story about a dead kid named Farrah Kernan. Maybe I switch it. I'll go white trash, too. All right.

[Brady]

Jensen Beach. Yeah. She kind of looks like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's pure.

[Brady]

Like Reagan from the Exorcist. Linda Blair.

[John Holmberg]

Not wrong. Yeah. Although. Yeah. All right. You're right.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. No black kids, Max. That's not. That story isn't about a pork chop. After that.

[Brady]

The folks in Rhode island are a little upset because Hasbro, their headquarters, have been there for years. And now they're moving their headquarters to Boston. The problem is, is they in 2002, Rhode island rolled out the Mr. Potato Head license plate.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

And it was 40 bucks to get the plate.

[John Holmberg]

It's the home of.

[Brady]

The money would go to the right. Rhode Island Food bank. Community food bank.

[John Holmberg]

But isn't that the home of Mr. Potato? He was invented.

[Brady]

Hasbro headquarters. Yep. And so now it's moving to Boston. Oh.

[Commercial Announcer]

I don't get it. That means that the money from the license plate still can't go to the kids. Or what?

[Brady]

They don't want you to buy the. Mr. Potato Head left.

[John Holmberg]

He left them. There's a divorce. It's a potato divorce.

[Brady]

But that does take a lot of money out of.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll come up with something else.

[Brady]

Yeah. If Mr. Go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say Mr. Potato Head is the only thing keeping your orphans going. You come up with a new plan anyway, that wasn't gonna last that long.

[Commercial Announcer]

How many years you've been saying orphans are always there?

[John Holmberg]

Orphans aren't going anywhere.

[Commercial Announcer]

They're not going.

[John Holmberg]

So you got to come up with a new plan.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If people weren't donating until they got Mr. Potato Head license plates, that was a spike to begin.

[Brady]

Yeah. You can recover that food bank money.

[John Holmberg]

You'll figure it out. Get something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] you.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

Know when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got stand up live and east side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests, and you can even grab some food. Drake. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com it's.

[John Holmberg (alternate intro)]

John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness to tell you about my [e-mail] you got something you want to do in that backyard because it's just not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful. With turfmonstersaz.com you can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up, and they can make it a reality. Turf monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space you can use every day of the year. Check it out right now. Turf monsters. Az.com.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

Homeburg'S morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

How about just charge more for regular license plates.

[Brady]

I guess. Tomorrow Subway is giving middle seat travelers 20 gift cards for one day. You have to take a picture of yourself in the.

[John Holmberg]

In the seat and then dump it.

[Brady]

On and then send it to the Subway website.

[John Holmberg]

Clever.

[Brady]

And you'll get a 20 gift card. Subway, middle seat.com is where you send it.

[John Holmberg]

If you're on one of those canceled flights sitting in the middle, go get a shot. You know what I could do? I go up to the tactical black thing. They got that fake plane up there, and just plop down in that middle seat and get myself a delightful free sub.

[Brady]

The deal lands on the same day, which is 27th, as Southwest Airlines is ending its open seat policy.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, they're assigning them.

[Brett Vesely]

That's gonna be interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know if that's better or worse. I haven't flown on Southwest for a little bit, but last time I was there, I was number one, so it didn't bother me. But if I was in the back.

[Brett Vesely]

Aren't they charging for baggage now too, or something?

[Commercial Announcer]

I don't think they're charging for baggage, but they are making you pick a seat.

[John Holmberg]

I'm okay with that if I'm not first because, well, we were first in line. It's pretty awesome. I was always first.

[Commercial Announcer]

People with kids go ahead, you pay extra. People with veterans, you pay extra to go first. People went ahead of you boarding never.

[John Holmberg]

And they never took good seats. There's always something good available.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

You get to be, like, 40th now. You're in trouble.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

B group.

[Brady]

C group.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You went out of your way in the days just so you could sit facing the other people, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like being in that. Just stare at the folks across from me the whole flight.

[Commercial Announcer]

So what do you do?

[John Holmberg]

No talking. It's brutal. No talking, Staring.

[Commercial Announcer]

Was that the days when you'd. When you had your DVD player of porn?

[John Holmberg]

I used to do that. Sit in the center seat. When I would fly, I sit in the center seat. I'd be first on, and I'd sit in the center seat and crack open the DVD player, just put porn on it and sit and watch, and no one would sit next to me. It was phenomenal. Except for the one time that lady with her kid plopped down, and I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. Do you not see, like, what's. Here? I am. I'm the only guy that Takes the middle seat. I used to get first class. I did that to that lady in Chicago. I got the first class seat and she sat next to me. And that was my favorite stare moment. When she turns, she goes, so, you heading home? And I just turned my head and I looked at her, didn't say anything. And she made like a little weird and then stopped talking to me. Perfect.

[Brady]

John, this might put you in on getting a pair of Crocs.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Brady]

There's some Crocs featured Paris Fashion Week. They'll run you 150 bucks a pair. They did a collab with Legos.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady]

They're brick shaped. They're not the Jibbitz. They're celebrating the Lego.

[Commercial Announcer]

Not the what?

[Brady]

The. The gibbets. Where you'd put like the Lego.

[John Holmberg]

Sworn we would have to fire Brady.

[Brady]

There's.

[Commercial Announcer]

There's what Gibbets.

[John Holmberg]

I thought for sure jibbitz are.

[Brady]

Have you never heard the gibbets?

[John Holmberg]

No. Because we're adult men.

[Commercial Announcer]

Like I should know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's not. That's an elderly man around for years. That's right.

[Brady]

I thought you were the one that told him. What?

[John Holmberg]

Stop it.

[Commercial Announcer]

How dare you.

[John Holmberg]

And this is a. This is the annual reminder that you need to say thank you to me for stopping you from being a Crocs guy. Because your elderly father wore the Crocs.

[Brady]

Guys.

[John Holmberg]

Dad talks about how comfortable they are.

[Brady]

Yeah, the camo crocs.

[John Holmberg]

You, my friend with the fleece. We were at Scottdale Fashion Square and this jackass goes to that center section.

[Commercial Announcer]

These are sweet.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, stop it. My dad says they're comfortable. You can't talk me out of it. You look like a. You're walking away from this. No, he thought about it and then he got cocky and he bought slides. These are cracks. Like he needed to be a dick about it for a second. But I stopped you from getting into those.

[Commercial Announcer]

So wait, is Jibbit like that's what elderly people dunks? Is it like.

[Brady]

No, they're little pins that you put Bedazzle.

[John Holmberg]

Basically. Crocs earrings. He was excited about that for a little bit.

[Commercial Announcer]

Fleecing you for money on those.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

For.

[John Holmberg]

For a little while.

[Brady]

Kids go through Crocs.

[John Holmberg]

You were trying to be.

[Brady]

Kirby had some Crocs.

[John Holmberg]

You were trying to be elderly for about an eight year span there. He had wagons with wood on the side of them. And like you were doing a lot of old man things and then prevented me. I stopped you from that. I'm good.

[Brett Vesely]

Where were you when he bought the Outback. You should have been there for that.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know him that well then. I just was. I was there to ridicule it after. See, this is what I'm talking about. About.

[Commercial Announcer]

Did you ferry Kirby around in one of those wooden wagons?

[John Holmberg]

He didn't have the wood on the side of the wagon. Then you liked them.

[Brady]

No, I had the. Oh, you fold out one. Pull out these beautiful Crocs he had. They've outdone themselves on this one.

[John Holmberg]

He was gonna buy those Swiss cheese shoes right in front of me. And you were a young. You know, you were a decent human.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, this was years ago.

[John Holmberg]

This was a long time ago when.

[Brady]

They first came out. And it wasn't even close.

[John Holmberg]

It was close. You were arguing with me. I had to stop you.

[Brady]

My dad had.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And what my argument was.

[Brady]

Let's check out the.

[John Holmberg]

Your dad is 70 something. These are shoes for 7 year olds. Do not quit yet. These are sweet. Like nobody else is going to say that. And that was when you were single and not. You didn't have a lot of prospects.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, my God, Brady.

[Brady]

And look at that French twink.

[John Holmberg]

You're an idiot. Those are the Legos.

[Brady]

So hideous.

[John Holmberg]

All right. No, just turn it off. There's no reason.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hey, guy in his Crocs.

[John Holmberg]

He likes the Crocs.

[Brady]

There they are.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's always been into the Crocs.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

Just turn it. Turn it off. Turn it off or they work week.

[Brady]

But wait, there's more. I've got two more Predeo videos.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, my God, this throat. You gonna do them or not?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. Ready?

[John Holmberg]

We need your. We don't know what you. First one's just staring at the ground.

[Brady]

Blowing up. It's a blow. It's a blow up.

[John Holmberg]

We're in a. Oh, that's just a dude exploding.

[Brady]

Goes off.

[John Holmberg]

He steps on a mine or something.

[Brady]

Disarming something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's standing on a mine.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

Wow.

[Brady]

And his buddy leg shoots there.

[Commercial Announcer]

I think he's standing on a dead body.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of explosives. This is commas running. Are we in Hamas land or is that.

[Brady]

Or Ukraine? One of the two. Man.

[John Holmberg]

That dude just blows up 50ft.

[Commercial Announcer]

Dark sensitive web. That's another algorithm punch for you.

[John Holmberg]

You're on the dark web again. All I have is hot girls trying to show me their snooches. This dude's got every dirty Middle Eastern or nasty war video. And then Cripp Instagram, man. Yeah. No, it's you. I've Never seen the videos.

[Commercial Announcer]

You're not on mine.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes Brett and I'll share, like. Oh, I saw that. You never.

[Brady]

It only takes one, bro.

[Commercial Announcer]

No, his algorithm and I've been trying.

[John Holmberg]

It does not only take one to get as many breastfeeding cripples as you get. I've never seen anything like it.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, if there was a breastfeeding.

[John Holmberg]

If you could combo a milky cripple man. Milky Triple. Good band name.

[Brady]

Little four wheel. We might have done this one before, but I.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Not sure, but.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, dude just runs over. Yeah, well, because he jumped onto the.

[Brady]

Track and he recovers. And here comes.

[John Holmberg]

Here comes another one's gonna run him over. Here comes another. Oh, drag that dude out of the mud. Why did you leave the crowd?

[Commercial Announcer]

Isn't that the line they're supposed to take, too?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, there's a stuffed sheep, so you got to go around it. And then slipped in. Well, no, he's wandering. You just don't lean that far. There's a fence.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey.

[Brady]

Drinking beer.

[Brett Vesely]

Snowbillies.

[John Holmberg]

Hillbillies. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That is not the first time he's been hit by an off road vehicle.

[Commercial Announcer]

So this morning you're defending crocs and hillbillies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What are you gonna do? It's muddy out there. That does look kind of fun. Except for the getting run over part.

[Commercial Announcer]

Would you do that mud? Mud box.

[John Holmberg]

I would love to do that. Have to call K row real quick, though, because that's messy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brady]

All right, I don't know if we've.

[Brett Vesely]

Done this one before, but we'll give it a shot. That's a quick one.

[John Holmberg]

So we need cameras in the room for when Brady says jibbitz again so we can just get a shot of Brett's face. I think we all made the face like. That's a. Is that a slur? What's a jibbit? That sounded bad.

[Brady]

Brett was like, oh, where are my jibbitz?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know what race that offends, but one of them's like, we don't use that word. All right, Brett, what do you got? Oh, geez. He's a black guy is banging a girl, and she's bald and she's up against the window, and he puts a plunger on her head because she doesn't have a ponytail. He's got to pull something. That's brilliant. I love the sound. She doesn't have any hair to pull.

[Commercial Announcer]

So he made a plunger, Found piss.

[John Holmberg]

Ball oh, that's great. All right, here we go.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Here's a dude in his room with multiple screens doing porn. He's deep throating a eight or nine inch dildo and he's tugging. And he's in a game. No, he's not done. What? Oh, he's going on another one. He's getting that one all the way down. This dude's dateable. That's a 10 incher he took. He just.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[Brady]

What's he. What's his Champions. Building champions.

[John Holmberg]

He's got. His desk says building champions. This dude is great at it. And he's watching porn on all three screens. Deep Throat videos.

[Commercial Announcer]

And then he's practicing AirPods in.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. Goes right to the other one on his desk and takes the whole thing.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Man, oh, man. Thanks for that one, Brad.

[Brett Vesely]

Just go to this one.

[John Holmberg]

Dude could do that. Leave it to a guy to do it better. There's a girl putting flour on her butt. She's got baby powder on her butt. She's gonna fart. And make. Make. All right. It's still funny. I can't stop. I'm a child.

[Brett Vesely]

And then we'll just end with this. Here's some eye video for you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I can't do this. Oh, it's Asians popping. Asians are eating too, obviously. Okay, blurred vision solution number one. Oh, geez. That guy is finishing some girl's wide open eyes. She's just getting. Yeah, and then just pushed it into the other eye. Just leaned it in there. Her eyes are filled. It's a reservoir of mango. Oh, my God. She seems fine. And you know what really is bad about that right there. Brett, clear the screen. Not clear. Just give me just the screen without the thing. Look how the semen makes you realize that her teeth are yellow.

[Brady]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

Like it really is a color contrast.

[Commercial Announcer]

She's a smoker.

[John Holmberg]

That may have made you realize, like, without that, it might have looked okay. But with all that white in her eyes, it made her teeth look worse.

[Brett Vesely]

That's all.

[John Holmberg]

You shouldn't want that on her face because it really makes her realize that she's got a sleep. Too many bleaching options. Yeah. She have nose hairs too?

[Brady]

No, she trimmed them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good. Yeah. Interesting. That's the cure for blurred vision.

[Brady]

That'll whiten those teeth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you gotta get that on there. Just leave them on a strip. There you go. That's your Brady report. What a treat. It's 98 KUPD.

[Brady]

Is that weird? It's pretty cool, actually. No, membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Comedy Club Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head to the Desert Ridge Improv on the north end of town to catch the comedy of Ron Funches and Joe Mackey Eastsiders at the Tempe Improv, you've got David Nyhill and and Huggins. From AGT and downtown at Stand Up Live, it's the incomparable JB Smooth. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com for 60 years, Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for quality, precision and power. Family owned and operated for three generations, we're proud to be a local Tempe business offering the best tools and supplies for every construction job. With the largest selection of power tools in the Valley. From Milwaukee to Makita to DeWalt, we've got everything used you need to get the job done right. We're known for having everything in stock because our slogan is if we don't have it, we can't sell it. See why we've been the Valley's go to for tools for over 60 years? Visit Fisher Tools today in store or [e-mail].