01-26-26 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - 98 KUPD

Episode: 01-26-26 – FULL SHOW - MONDAY
Air Date: January 26, 2026
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

The January 26, 2026 episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness kicks off the week with Holmberg recovering from a rough illness, recounting a weekend spent on the couch deep in online distractions and football, and evolving into the team's hilariously irreverent banter about NFL playoffs, bizarre internet rabbit holes, and awkward animal facts. This classic HMS episode delivers a non-stop, freewheeling mix of sports hot takes, mature listeners’ humor, riffs on social outrage, and a spirited visitor from the zoo. Topics range from Super Bowl predictions and twin fantasies to internet “vag fishing,” oddball animal sexuality, Crocs fashion crimes, and hands-on time with a (literal) bush baby primate.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Weekend Sickness & New Levels of Internet Creepiness

[03:50 – 12:00]

• Holmberg’s Recap: John recounts being laid up with illness — “I got to lay in a puddle of my own sick for the entire weekend and kind of veg out completely in my own brain.”
• Online Deep Dives: He admits to going down a rabbit hole trying to freeze-frame provocative moments on an Instagram account belonging to a model who specializes in subtle, split-second flashes.
  • “I turned into the world’s creepiest photographer for the entire weekend.” [06:23]
  • Brett and Brady join in, trying to decipher the thrill: “It’s almost like sudoku for perverts… keeps your brain working.”
• Reflection: The hosts conclude that mystery and the “art of the glimpse” are more exciting these days than endless, explicit porn—“We’re tired of porn. The fun of mystery still exists.” [10:23]

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2. NFL Playoffs, Super Bowl Predictions & Minnesota Protests

[04:00 – 20:00]

• Seattle Seahawks/NFL Talk: Holmberg congratulates Toledo (a Seahawks fan), noting the bizarre, clockwork return of Seattle to the Super Bowl every ten years.
• Super Bowl Redux: “That was 10 years ago...Malcolm Butler stole the game away from Pete Carroll…in a decade they have a chance to redeem themselves." [03:38]
• Monday Morning Quarterbacking: The hosts debate football strategies, fourth-down decisions, and the underwhelming AFC championship.
• Minnesota Protest Rant: Segueing into outrage over recent protests in freezing Minnesota, Holmberg questions the logic of risking it all in arctic weather:
  • “Nothing would ever bother me so much to go protest in negative zero weather. I’m never, ever going to be that upset about anything.” [15:07]
  • He dismisses martyrdom and speculates about the manufactured nature of current controversies, likening them to the “Jussie Smollett situation.”
• Cultural Distraction Theory:
  • “It all seems so fake to me. So choreographed to keep us busy arguing while something else goes on.” [17:23]
  • Suggests radio execs are to blame: “Nobody wakes up in most cities having fun anymore.” [24:27]
  • “If they had something fun in the mornings talking about Siamese twins getting thigh pounded, it wouldn’t be so angry over there.” [39:07]

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3. Twin Fantasies, ‘The Twin Towers,’ and Dark Jokes

[25:00 – 35:00]

• Viral News Story: Discussion about a woman dating identical twin brothers leads to a cascade of riffing on the ethics and logistics (“Is this still called the Eiffel Tower, or is this now called the Twin Towers?” [25:14]).
• Male vs Female Psychology: Holmberg suggests that men would always be “cooler” about twin swap pranks than women, reading a listener letter about divorce and the “emotional devastation” of twin sister swapping.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “If a woman found out it was the twin, she’d stop it. If a guy does, he buys you presents.” [43:34]
• Dark Humor:
  • Twin swapping is contextualized with “South Tower has fallen, temporarily needs rehydration. North Tower must keep going.”
  • “She decided… ‘There’s no question if I’m attracted to you, I’m attracted to your brother.’”
• Siamese Twin Digression: The crew debates the morality of Siamese twins dating “normies,” with plenty of off-color observations:
  • “That’s what Brady would call one of God’s errors. And they shouldn’t reproduce.” [33:48]

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4. Social Outrage Cycle: Animal Sexuality and New Outrage Trends

[46:00 – 58:00]

• Dissecting Outrage Trends: The show discusses how social debates shift over the years, from gay marriage to trans issues, predicting the next “mass argument” will be about gay animals.
  • “I’m starting to see all these things, and I’m like, is this the next step? To try to get us to yell at each other over gay being a natural thing?” [47:53]
• Animals Allegedly Turning Gay:
  • Debates news stories about “gay manatees” and claims of homosexuality in pandas, dolphins, and bears.
  • “I never once watched the news and heard manatees are gay—ever. And suddenly, four stories in the last week…” [52:16]
• Skepticism about Agenda: Holmberg is suspicious:
  • “Until I see two girl animals doing it… I feel like there’s some sort of reason behind telling me about this.”
• Comic Highlight:
  • “If a gay manatee exists, that just sounds like a criminal manatee to me. It’s his brother too, by the way.” [51:00]

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5. Music, Cheating, & Jazz as the Most ‘Unfaithful’ Genre

[63:00 – 78:00]

• Survey Revealed: Jazz fans are supposedly the most likely to cheat, followed by salsa, pop, and country. Metal lags behind:
  • “Jazz topped the list of seductive genres. Salsa was second. Pop music is third. Country was fourth.” [63:53]
  • Men’s marital fidelity is discussed with tongue-in-cheek analysis of concert demographics.
• Lamenting the Loss of Sexy Rock:
  • “Rock and roll and metal used to be about aggression and masculinity and women were into it—not anymore.” [65:22]
• Playful Musical Sidebars:
  • Brett throws out “Bony James” as a jazz artist, which triggers groans and giggles.
  • Lou Rawls, Jodeci, and classic rock power ballads get shoutouts as classic seduction background music.
• Darker Joke:
  • “If you get a chick who’s into Angel of Death [by Slayer], she’s got one of those tattoos ground up into ink.”

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6. Crocs, Croc Accessories, and Fashion Shame

[110:21 – 113:34]

• Crocs in Paris Fashion Week: News about Lego-brick Crocs draws disgust from Holmberg, with Brady excitedly revealing his knowledge of “jibbitz” (the decorative charms).
  • “This is the annual reminder you need to say thank you to me for stopping you from being a Crocs guy.” [111:09]
• Elderly Footwear Fashion:
  • “Your dad is 70-something. These are shoes for 7 year olds. Do not quit yet.”
  • Teasing Brady for once nearly buying Crocs, which the rest of the crew equates to social suicide.

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7. Animal Kingdom: The Bush Baby Visit

[142:12 – 151:56]

• Zoo Guest Christy Appears: She brings in “Theo,” a ‘lesser bush baby’—a tiny African primate.
• Hands-on Chaos:
  • “It’s a primate bush baby from your zoo… Nocturnal animal…Their eyes—you can tell.”
  • Theo jumps around the studio, burrows in shirts, and marks territory all over the crew, to great delight.
• Primate Therapy:
  • “You can't have a bad day if you’ve got one of these in your shirt. Forget therapy—put a primate in your shirt for a minute. Emotional support bush baby.” [159:10]
• Zoo Encounters: Christy teases new zoo events, animal encounters, and an upcoming “massive” birth announcement.
• Animals & Sexuality: Christy confirms there are lesbian animals (African black-footed penguins, at least). The crew asks for proof and logistics regarding “lesbian tortoises.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Mystery is Better Than Explicitness

"We’re tired of porn. No, no, we want it, but we’re tired of it. The fun of mystery still exists. Like, getting the glimpse is…so exciting compared to other stuff."
— John Holmberg, [10:23]

On Protest Culture

"Nothing would ever bother me so much to go protest in negative zero weather. I’m never, ever going to be that upset about anything."
— John Holmberg, [15:07]

The Outrage Cycle

"It all seems so fake to me. So choreographed to keep us busy arguing while something else goes on…It’s the playbook."
— John Holmberg, [17:23]

On Crocs

"Your dad is 70-something. These are shoes for 7-year-olds. Do not quit yet."
— John Holmberg, [111:03]

Primate Therapy

"I'm pretty sure you can't have a bad day if you have one of these in your shirt. Just put a primate in your shirt for a minute. Maybe that's emotional support bush baby."
— John Holmberg, [159:10]

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Key Timestamps

• [03:50] – Holmberg discusses being sick and his weekend internet rabbit hole
• [04:00–08:45] – NFL playoff recap, Seahawks in Super Bowl, football analysis
• [14:29] – “Vag fishing”: the new online distraction, arguing the fun in mystery
• [17:00] – Outrage over Minnesota protests, “It’s all fake to keep us busy arguing”
• [24:26] – Blame morning radio execs for America’s bad moods
• [25:14] – The woman dating identical twin brothers: “Eiffel Tower or Twin Towers?”
• [33:47] – Siamese twin relationships: legitimate or perverted?
• [46:32] – Social outrage cycles, “Gay manatees” and animal sexuality
• [63:53] – Music fans most likely to cheat: jazz takes the top spot
• [110:21] – Crocs, “jibbitz” and resisting Brady’s attempts at elderly fashion
• [142:12–151:56] – Christy arrives from the Phoenix Zoo with bush baby Theo: studio chaos, animal trivia, and adorable primate leaps

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Tone & Flow

The show maintains its signature mix of irreverence, adult humor, and local color, punctuated by rounds of absurd banter, audience emails, pop culture/radio inside jokes, and occasional moments of earnest animal fascination. Holmberg keeps the pace quick, steering each digression to its punchline or teachable moment—no topic is off-limits, and every tangent is good for a laugh or a groan.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a classic hot mess of outrageous honesty, locker-room humor, and tangential brilliance. You’ll come for the NFL banter and stay for the unfiltered conversations about social distractions, the sexual habits of manatees, the appeal of micro-moment Instagram sleuthing, Crocs shame, and the unmistakable comfort of a bush baby in your shirt. There’s no better place for a slice of unvarnished, comedic morning radio—Arizona style.

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For the full show, check out the podcast archive at 98KUPD.com or your favorite podcast app.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at.

[John Holmberg]

Risk and come into M and P.

[Brady]

Guns where he'll get a fair offer.

[John Holmberg]

And he can rest easy knowing it's.

[Brady]

Not getting into the wrong hands.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy.

[Brady]

Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online.

[John Holmberg]

It really that simple? There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Brady]

The playoffs are here and Hooters just upgraded your game plan. Our beer of the month went from 14 ounces to a massive 25 ounces. Starting at just $4. That's a bigger beer for every kickoff drive and touchdown.

[John Holmberg]

And while you're here, load up on wings, burgers and all your favorites.

[Brady]

Come in for the playoffs. Stay for the food, the cold beer and non stop football. Plus, every Hooters is giving away an 85 inch smart TV for the big game. Must to win. Hooters. Come for the football. Stay for everything else.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head to the Desert Ridge Improv on the north end of town to catch the comedy of Ron Funches and Joe Mackey. Eastsiders at the Tempe Improv. You've got David Nyhill and Andy Huggins from AGT and downtown at Stand Up Live, it's the incomparable JB Smooth. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to [e-mail] and tempeimprov.com It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about my [e-mail] you got something you want to do in that backyard because it's just not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful with turfmonstersaz.com youm can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up and they can make it a reality. Turf monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space. You can use every day, day of the year. Check it out right now. Turf monsters. A Dot Comberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It is 5:45. My name is John. How are you? There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. Let's move on, shall we? I've been mired in my own yuck since Friday morning, trying to, you know. Thursday felt like garbage. Thought I kicked it. Man, oh, man. The whole weekend was just. It's living inside me. Yuck. But the good news was I got to lay in a puddle of my own sick for the entire weekend and kind of veg out completely in my own brain. And too much time on your hands, man. It's like when you're sick and you can't, like, get up without hacking up a lung. Yeah. All you do is think about nonsense the whole time. Dive into everything. Don't turn on the news if you get the thing I've got. Oh, you start making me feel so much better on anyway. No, no, that's true, too. Brett's right. You start arguing with the tv. You start yelling back at people like, what am I doing? I had that going on. It's beautiful outside. Every time I stood up and tried to take. Oh, oh, oh. I rallied up for dinner on Saturday night, and I made it through. And then, like, within 10 seconds of getting home, I'm lungs just all night. Don't get this thing. It's gross. I'm all medicated up. I got the prednisone. I'm crapping like a goose. It's brutal. Anyway, that's my weekend. It was a great time, but not as good as Mr. Toledo. How about that? The Seattle Seahawks. And good Christ, the New England Patriots are back. The super bowl. That was 10 years ago that that game happened here when Malcolm Butler stole the game away from Pete Carroll. And the terrible don't give it to Marshawn lynch call. They have a chance in a decade to redeem themselves, and it's weird. That is a weird thing. 2005 Seahawks Super Bowl. 2015 Seahawks Super Bowl. 2025 Seahawks Super Bowl. That's pretty darn good. So every 10 years, these guys decide.

[Brady]

When a pope is elected, they're going to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and there's that thing, too, that's floating around on the Internet that every time we get a new pope, it's been every 10 years so far. I don't know which one it is. The Seahawks go to the super bowl and a new pope. Usually before, but congrats and Toledo's beaming. What a great year for sports for Seattle. I mean, Toledo screwed up the whole World Series thing by jinxing it, but they were there. Pretty outrageous. And just by watching, just passing the eye test of football, Seattle should mop up New England. That AFC game was horrible. And I know it was weather related and whatever. I don't, I don't. That was just. That was JV football compared to what I watched last night.

[Brady]

That feels that way going into it.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. The Rams and Seahawks are just much more. I don't know, it looked, it looked professional to college on the level of whatever the hell that thing was I was trying to sit through. And in fact and AFC championship game got so boring that I went right back to my new habit of trying to take photos of those quick hot girl dances. I got to show you guys. I found one girl, I forgot her name. Flashing the camera, the camera flash just.

[Brady]

Before that on, on the game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Did you feel like with that fourth and four, you kicked a field goal.

[John Holmberg]

One point down, it's seven and nothing. And your defense has been doing the job.

[Brady]

Got a bunch of questions on that.

[John Holmberg]

That's Monday morning quarterback stuff. Yeah, they asked him if he regretted it and all that. It's. Look, your defense has been getting it done. You lost by three and everybody's going to go, why didn't you go for it? It's like, well, we run like the five yard line. We get ahead of this thing. We're not giving up points. It's debatable. Now look at this. This is all my deleted shots. I need a bigger iPhone. It never ended. This was during the AFC championship game. Thousands, thousands of pictures. I can't even tell you how many. And I. Her name is. You go to onlyju.retos. and she does. Oh, she's amazing because she doesn't do like the quick glimpse shots. She sneaks like through reflections shots of her ass and stuff. And it's killer, man. It's a time filling machine when you can't move and every time you try to get off the couch, you start hacking up along. I turned into the world's creepiest photographer for the entire weekend and I got some. She's, you know, and it's the weirdest thing. Like sometimes there's just a reflection of her junk. Like she'll squat over like she's got a long man's shirt on and she. And she Goes. She speaks Spanish. I don't know what she's saying. And she just, like, does the thing. And then you realize, oh, it's in the wood floor. So then you, like, you try to find. And it's like, there it is. Like, the perfect. Oh, it's perverted. Beyond perversion. But that's how bad that game was yesterday. I'm serious. Look at this, Brett. It never ends. There's. There's well over 3,000 attempts. It just doesn't stop. It's hilarious. They go to her page. It's great stuff. Oh, some of them are. Yeah. I don't. I bet you I'm over 5,000 on the grounds, right? Yeah. Yep. There's just hundreds and hundreds. That's what I was doing my time. What's her name? Oh, geez. You're gonna make me look. That's right. It was. Where is she? Only J, U dot R, E, T, O, S. Don't get into this. And then there's some of them. And then you realize some of it's stupid. Like, she'll just, like. You're trying to find the reflective surface because she'll be in her bathroom, and she goes, like, mira attentione. And I'm paying attention. And then you're looking for, like, little mirrors somewhere that'll be. And she'll, like, move a lipstick, and the top of it is reflective. And then you get a. Like, I don't know, for lack of a better term, a shot of her beef. Better get on it, because she just posted a new one 16 minutes ago. What? 16 minutes ago. Brand new one. We'll be right back. And she's stunning, which is the worst part. Yeah, no, I went full pervert for the AFC Championship game. And then that good game came on, and I didn't do it at all. But that's my.

[Brady]

See, the. The halves change in that first game, the Bronco game.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not listening to you. I don't care about what you say right now. Us. Oh, you know what's crazy about it? Some of her videos you can click on, and it translates her Spanish to English. Oh, really? But her mouth moves. English, US.

[Christy]

Well, maybe I've already done it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's got that mirror behind her, so you gotta find. There it is. It's right off the bat. Oh, man. What I missed. Oh, it's an impossible photo. And then you're, like. Most of the time, you're disappointed, but you're just proud. It's fishing. There it is. Yeah, you're gonna miss it. Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna do it. It's. She's quick. She's beautiful, though. And then she does these somersaults on her bed and soccer jerseys and then. Missed it. Yeah, you missed it. I mean, that one's right off the bat. Some of them. She goes right off the bat. Yeah, you're gonna. Yeah. And then you get teased, and then sometimes you're, like, looking. Yeah. You know you missed it. What's the thousands of times you're gonna see? It's addictive. Yep. Yeah. She's outrageous. Yeah. I could do this for. In fact, I did do this for a full day, however long that Denver Patriots game was after. It was seven. Nothing. And I'm like, this game sucks. Go to the phone for a second. She's the first video, and I'm like, yep, I'm gonna spit. Oh, that one's. The ass is in the mirror behind her when she moves her hair. Boom. Right there. I know that one. Oh, this is where it gets tough because she does reflective surfaces. It's gonna whip fast to the left. You think you're looking in this perfume thing. And then it goes whoop, whoop, like there. And that's it. It's her reflection in the. In the. In the glass. I liked being sick. I liked being sick. This guy says, john, I want to thank you. I thought I was the only one trying to snapshot those kind of pics. I'm not an animal. No, you are not. You are. Look. Look at the views on her pages and stuff. And then she's not the only one. Thousands of dudes trying to get the glimpse, and it's so weird. You know what's funny about it? You know what? It tells me that. And I know this is weird. We're tired of porn. No, no, we want it. We want it available, but we're tired of it. Like, the fun of mystery still exists. Like, getting the. The glimpse is as. Oh, my God. Is so exciting compared to. To other stuff. This is a tough one. Yeah, I like her. Hold on now. Watch this. That one, there's a quick flash right there that she just takes her naked body and leans it into the curtain. I know all of her videos. I think I did all of them. That's a toughie. That's a tough place. Oh, good Lord. I could listen to her talk for days, too. It's got to be in that compact mirror. Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember that one. And it's a dude, sir. Right there. Yep, yep. It's the little mirror. Yeah. Yeah, it's. Yeah. She's got two mirrors on her counter.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's fun. That's just damn fun. She always says this one thing too.

[Brady]

In her Deadpool get up.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's okay, dudes who ask her to do it too.

[Christy]

Let's see what I can come up with.

[John Holmberg]

How do they do that? Because she's not AI difficult. I'm running out of ideas. Leave me ideas in the comments if you want. They make that like they meta. Change her. Oh, yeah, there's good stuff in that one. Oh, I want to go. I'm gonna go lay on the couch again. This is all. This is my feeling buddy. You guys want to come over and. You guys want to come over and take snapshots real quick? Oh, this is a good one. Does she. She's in a sweater that barely covers her junk. And then she just does like a real quick lift up, if I'm not mistaken on this one. Oh, no, that was the quick flash. It's already over. Oh, you missed it. When she starts talking about the plants in her apartment. She's already done it. Listen to that hold the letter play. She does that one all the time. I don't know what that means. Somebody and somebody please tell me in Spanish what valet means. That's what I think it means. Oh, that's a great one. So this was the one where she. This is. She's hot. That's why Poor comfort. How are they doing? Doesn't open it. Quick flashes. And you get a shot of it now. Ever junk. Pay close attention because I can't repeat it much. Oh, it's so good. Did you catch that one? Oh, yeah. I think I got almost all. Oh, no, no. What's. What you see in my phone? All my failures. Oh, okay. Yeah. All my failures. But it is. Yeah. I am addicted to vag fishing. I'm calling it. Find one where she's in a soccer jersey. That watch. Watch this. She puts on some guy's soccer kit, and then she gets off the bed and does a somersault. You gotta time it just right. Tres, dos. Uno. Here we go. Watch back. You gotta stop it. And then. Yeah, you missed it. There are a thousand photos of this incredibly intensely hot girl rolling around. That's what I do when I'm sick, Brady. That's what I do.

[Brady]

Good times.

[John Holmberg]

It was pretty good. It looks like good times. She's as good as I've seen for sure. Anybody can post pictures of their cans and make me work for not Emotionally, just say, look, I'm going to show you my boobs. It's just whether or not you catch it. That's a fantastic girl. We both have the same agenda here. Yeah, she's hot. All right, Brett's. See, Brett's on it. Now you're. You're going. We lost him. He gone. Yeah. There's a few of those that are just frustrating, like the lipstick caps and things like that. All right, turn it off, Brad. I'll do this for days.

[Brady]

That's a good one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, they're all good ones. They're. I didn't see anyone, like, what a disappointment. Yeah. This guy says, you've made me realize I've been down a rabbit hole and I've learned to screen record. Go back to the photos, and you can go frame by frame. That's lazy. Yeah, he's. He. Max. It's lazy. Try to get. Come on. It's like, almost like it's good for Alzheimer's, I think. I think it keeps away, like, brain. It keeps brain working. It's like sudoku for perverts. I love it. And that's what the Internet has become, and I have no issues with that. But then, you know, then you know, it's a good distraction, too, because over the week. Look, I don't know what's going on in Minnesota. First off. Nothing would ever bother me so much to go protest in negative zero weather. I'm never Matt. I'm never, ever going to be that upset about anything. Like, I could be. It's cold and stuff. But, I mean, I'm waiting for spring second again. I'm going home. I don't understand this. I don't understand these people that I don't know. Being a martyr sucks because you know what? You don't get to celebrate any of it. I don't. I don't get it. I don't get, like. I get you hate ice. And I get. If you think ice is trigger happy and shooty, the last thing I'm doing is fighting that guy. I don't get it. Like, it just escapes my brain to say, look, if ice is my biggest enemy and ice scares me to death, that they're shooty and they're violent. The last thing I'm gonna do is fight them. I don't get. Doesn't add up being a martyr, stupid. If a guy from ICE tackles me, he wins. That's it. I'm just gonna roll around and put my arms behind my back, especially if I'm a citizen, because they're not gonna just throw me away. If they do, then there's a bigger problem. But I don't see that get smuggled.

[Brady]

Out of the country.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I'm just not, I'm, I'm not doing what these people are doing. And it's always, it's just there. It doesn't. So I'm watching that.

[Brady]

It is frustrating someone to say like, okay, yeah, you have a right to bear arms and stuff on this.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

But you're going to go and protest with a gun. I don't think that's a. Yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

A good little no. And I understand. No, I understand that you can.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that you should. But also when somebody else with a gun and five or six other dudes with a gun, I'm just going to be like, okay, I lose. You just got to pick your battles. That doesn't seem like one. I'm going to start wrestling with one of those dudes. I'm just going to lay down and go, I'll be a martyr who goes home, dude. It doesn't make any sense to me what's going on there. And also let them have it. Since when does, you know, just pull them out of there and then defund them. Like, you know, just stop giving them federal. If Trump wants to do this. It just seems so. It all seems so fake to me. It all seems so choreographed to keep us busy arguing while something else goes on. It just happens to be in a state with $9 billion scandal on top of it, and a week later we're yelling at each other over that doesn't make sense. It's the playbook. I'm not trying to be a nut job, but I don't see this as real at all. To me, just seems like, oh, geez, let's not tell them we steal all their money constantly. Let's get into race relations. It doesn't add up. None of it adds up to me. I got a very Jussie Smollett situ again. Same thing with Jussie. Smollett was 23 below zero when he had a story. I'm like, nobody's out trying to fight you at 20. Who's doing this? 23 below zero. And someone recognized your bundled up ass from the show Empire or whatever it was called.

[Brady]

Is that right?

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know if it was at 2 in the morning you're getting a subway and there's no way you didn't have a scarf on. Huh?

[Brady]

I know one thing. They were wearing MAGA hats.

[John Holmberg]

They remember MAGA hats and had nooses. And they're like, there's that from Empire. And like, what. I'm. To be honest with you, in the Jussie Smollett story, I'm most impressed with the MAGA guys. That they were. Most MAGA guys would say they all look alike. That they recognized him in a blip in 23 below. 23 below zero. And they go to Minnesota and it's like 10 below with wind chill, and there's people outside mad. And like, I can't be mad in that. I can't. I'd be at home unplugging all my electronics just in case there's a power surge. When the power comes back and I'm putting. I'm putting all the stuff in the freezer. I'm shutting the freezer. You can't open the freezer for days. I'm not that angry at anything. Maybe I should be. I don't know. That didn't add up. All I like doing is taking quick snapshots of Spanish broads. That seems right. My way seems better. That's all I'm saying. My life seems like a lot better than that.

[Brady]

You know, Vikings get that team together if you're in the playoffs.

[John Holmberg]

That's so true. If they had it, you know, if it was a little deeper, if the T. Wolves could pull themselves out of seventh or eighth right now. Come on. Yeah, give me something up there.

[Brady]

I asked that yesterday. I go, how much of a change would that be if the Vikings were in? Oh, yeah, they'd be all.

[John Holmberg]

They'd be all clapping over the head skull, and they wouldn't care who's doing what. It just seems. It seems to me. Call me crazy. Incredibly choreographed and fake for us to yell at each other outside of Minnesota and make some big stink out of it. We got the Internet. I mean, it's the best time to be. No, I get it. It's something, something. Check out Homework's Morning sickness [e-mail] you know, when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand Up Live and Eastside. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests, and you can even grab and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination. And get Your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and 10 pimprov.com for 60 years, Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for quality, precision and power. Family owned and operated for three generations, we're proud to be a local tempe business offering the best tools and supplies for every construction job. With the largest selection of power tools in the valley. From Milwaukee to Makeda to DeWalt, we've got everything you need to get the job done right. We're known for having everything in stock because our slogan is, if we don't have it, it, we can't sell it. See why we've been the Valley's go to for tools for over 60 years. Visit Fisher Tools today in store or [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I get hate. Nice. I get. I understand why people don't like what's going on, but I just know this. I might not like it. If a dude with an AR15 is fighting me. I'm laying down. I'm going home. I ain't pushing back. I might not like it.

[Brady]

I'm sorry for the inconvenience. All the people that have to pick up their cleaning lady and drive her to the house to get it clean, I have. I can't tell you how many I've.

[John Holmberg]

Heard over the last that they're afraid here.

[Brady]

Oh, I had to go pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, here.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nah, I know.

[Brady]

That's what I said.

[John Holmberg]

Glory.

[Brady]

Oh, no. We picked her up and we brought over here.

[John Holmberg]

My lady goes back and forth to Mexico all the time. She doesn't seem. I'm not sure, to be honest with you. I haven't checked if Gloria's legit or not, but she's. Who cares? She does a good job. I got to go back to Mexico. Yeah, she's there too long, but she's awesome and like, okay, Gloria, I go to Mexico, I can't come. Like, okay, I come another time. Yeah, that's great. Mexico. You're gonna make it back. I'd be back all right. That's all I care about. I'm not gonna get all upset if you're doing this wrong and get busted. Don't talk about me. Do you have any relatives that do quick shot videos on the Instagram before you go? And just give me a couple names. That's all I care about. Well, I'll need to just relax a little bit, but I understand getting all fired up about it. I get it. And you can Yell at me all you want. That I'm not, you know, involved, and I'm not. I don't want to be. Seems stupid to get wrestled down to if I'm mad at somebody with a huge gun and there's like nine of his buddies right there. They're gonna win that. That fight. They win, and then I'm gonna lay down and get handcuffed. And later I'll be on. I'll be on Anderson Cooper show going, can't believe it. Can't believe it. But I'll be talking, that's for sure. I know how to get out of this. I know one thing I'm not gonna do is try to piss him off. Especially if I'm scared to death of them and they're. You know, that's the whole reason I'm marching, is because they're violent shooters. Okay? I ain't gonna get all fired up about it. The violent shooters are gonna win. It's a better world. Laying on your couch taking pictures of foreign broads. It just is. It's just an easier way to go. And it doesn't mean you don't care, but it sure does mean that you're not gonna waste all your days flipping the F out over this stuff, because I'm not. I like funny stuff. People need to laugh more. You know what it is? Maybe I'm gonna blame this. You know who I blame this on? Radio executives.

[Brady]

Oh, the Bob's did this.

[John Holmberg]

The Bob's did this. You know why? Why? Because nobody wakes up in most cities having fun anymore. Like a morning zoo. Doesn't happen in Phoenix. You're welcome. We don't have strife here. The weather and us. I'm putting it on us and Beth and. And I'll even give it over there to Bickley and Marata. They're fun. It's light, it's easy. You start your day with a little bit of goofiness and you move on. I don't think they've got fun shows in Minnesota. It doesn't look like a fun place. Everybody looks angry. It's because goddamn radio executives have screwed up radio so bad in every major metropolitan area that nobody has any fun morning shows. Choices of fun morning shows. The only thing you got now is Joe Rogan. Everybody listens to that. And that's gonna get you going. And if not that, some liberal version of that.

[Brady]

And that's not always fun.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's hardly fun. Usually it's some sort of weird thing that makes you think the world's coming to an end. I like stuff like this. I saw a story that said this woman is dating identical twin brothers. And I loved it. I loved every second of it. Because she's like, look, I'm attracted to one of them. That means I'm attracted to both. They're very similar. And then I started laughing because the comments immediately were, is this still called the Eiffel Tower, or is this now called the Twin Towers? And I started to giggle at that. And then it says, the south tower has fallen, temporarily needs rehydration. North tower must keep going. Then another comment says, sir, the second tower just blasted all over my back. I'm like, see? This is the world I want to live in. And then people are like, never forget, we're now making 911 jokes about a lady who's dating twins. And that's where I want to live. Yeah, she. She decided that. She's like, look, there's no question that if I'm attracted to you, I'm attracted to your brother. And so why not just make it so we can both you guys tag me? I won't even know which one you are. I'll be honest with you. Gary and Terry, you can have at it. They're Asian too, so, I mean, it's be pixelated anyway. And by the way, she's moderately attractive, these two dudes.

[Brady]

Oh, she's doing it all Gross. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But would you like to be interviewed about it? They're swinging for the first. You know what, though? She's 24. She's in Thailand. Not a lady boy. Maybe, maybe. But she's got a bro. And again, I've never understood that. Like, they have that twin thing. Ever see twins and they marry twins. Yeah, you gotta dabble in that. You're the one that's grossed out by all that kind of stuff. Not with dudes together, but banging the same girl separately. If you're twins. Oh, you're okay with that? Yeah. All right. Like, if you and I were twins. Brett. Okay. And Matthias. Like, I'm into Brett and she's into me. Well, not necessarily. I'm like, I'm gonna make it. So. You are. We're pretty close. I know what he does. I know how to make this work. And the next thing. And we would do it too, like, see if she knows the difference.

[Brady]

I think about Corey and Corey and.

[John Holmberg]

Chad, the Smash Brothers, just swapping out. Constant laughing. Like, this one wife, divorce papers.

[Brady]

The other one did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And serviced her in the process.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. He boned. Was it his brother's Wife. Yes, his brother's wife. He said, hey, you know, Corey wants out, gives her divorce papers. And then she's like, well, you're pretty much the exact same things. It's like a rental car. Like, Brady, your car's been in the shop since it got in the wreck. And they give you a reasonable replica. Same thing. I don't get this twin anymore. But there's another rep. There's an exact replica of. I like this model, so I'm gonna get that one. Jesus. The Bidens weren't even twins. And the lady's like, well, Bo's dead. What are you doing? And she started nailing a close representation of that. That's her type. I'd never. If I had a twin, that's all we'd do. I'd be hammering Matthias all over Megan. We'd be just slutting it up on a rag. And then.

[Brady]

Just like your brother. But he loves cocaine.

[John Holmberg]

There's no possible way if that went, you know, Brady, but Brett and I together as twins would be like, let's just do this. Don't get mad at me, and I won't get mad at you. You hammer mine, I'll hammer yours. Don't tell them. Just go. Just go home with no words and start working. Oh, my God, you're all over me. And I'll do the same, and we'll hammer them, and we'll come back and go, that was awesome. They have no idea. We would. All twins do it. All twins do it. Now, where I find it disgusting is when twins, they're in the same room. And when. Dude, two cranks in a room. Two cranks in a room's weird, but even worse. Yeah, the Twin Towers. You can't have that. And then what's weirder is the two girls. And then dudes expect the twin girls to start touching each other. That's gross. They're sisters. That's yuck. But yeah, the Twin Towers. The South Tower just blasted all over my back. Is my favorite 911 joke, I think, starting now. But I gotta give her credit, because she's like, look, they're hard to tell apart. They're pretty much the same. They finish each other's sentences, so why not just finish on me? Her name is Nong fa.

[Brady]

There's a laugh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, same. She said. And everybody's like, ew, that's weird. I'm like, that's been going on for ages. Ages. I'd venture to guess if you're married to a twin, you don't even know it you've been railed by the other one almost. They're dudes if they're fun twins. Unless they're like, religious. Probably even worse if they're religious because they hide it better. They're good at hiding things. They definitely getting all over that. And I wish I had a twin at this point. That would be awesome. But there's no way if Brady had a twin. You're telling me that. That you jokesters wouldn't be like you two Andy Reeves cranks all the time, pranking around all the time, seeing if you can just get a hand job started and then go to the bathroom and switch out. That's all I'd think about it, like, all right, you stand in the bathroom. I'll get a hand job started. I'm like, oh, my God, you're not gonna lose. I gotta go pee. I'll come into the bathroom, we'll change clothes or whatever. I' and come back out and then see if she finishes you off.

[Brady]

That was great.

[John Holmberg]

Grady and Brady back at it. Did I just jerk your brother off? And God dang it, guys, that was great stuff. You're not done, sister. One of us is wanting. Yes. It's weird, but it's. You know, it's that one of the. My first girlfriend, the Bryan Adams girl that wrote the song. You know, I have to bring that up. One of her stories was that she's dating a twin and they got drunk and screwed around and stuff, and she woke up and they were both in the room. And I'm like. I said, do you think? And she goes, oh, I know. So he called his brother in. Yeah. She goes, I think I was with the brother when I was drunk and didn't know it. And then the other one came in and I'm like, wow, sluts. And I was like, you need. I think I love to date you for a while. I don't have a brother, so page 12, you'll notice a difference. If some other dude's doing that to you, it listens. Yeah, no, that wasn't. When I wrote. I probably wrote something about, you know, double hole in her. I don't know. In the Vagina Monologues that I had written. Yeah, the South Tower has blasted on my back. It's just fun and people are, you know, that's what we need more of more fun stuff. Less of this craziness. This one says, remember Finger Cuffs? I think that's her new name. That's a good question. They got one of the comments says, do you think that when they finish, it's in harmony. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if they're like a nice harmonization of that.

[Brady]

That's what I was saying. Like, you find out, you'd hear a laugh at the same time from a wall over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

What's going on?

[John Holmberg]

Pretty great. This, and then one guy who's like me. His comment is, triple income household. I'm a stay at home dad and I'm jealous. Yeah. You got two earners in that house. Even if one of them loses a job, you're still two thirds of earning. That's. It's the future, if you ask me. Three way income, no kids, twinks. Yeah. And then dual income with the brother switching days at work. And then you'd save on childcare. So the twins pretend to be the same guy at work, have the same job, and one works Monday and Tuesday, the other works Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and you got somebody at home. All this is a glorious situation. This lady's smart, he's genius. The world could be a lot better. Nope. We got to sit and stare at each other and scream about immigration raids and people fighting. Two below zero and ain't happening. It's.

[Brady]

You think it happened more often. I'm sure it does. But you think about the other ones hit throughout history, the Siamese twins with it. Yeah. End up having kids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's just a fetish. I don't know how you do that. Married the. The one of them. Yeah. That don't make sense.

[Brady]

And they had four kids.

[John Holmberg]

Which one had it? You know, that's the. That's just gross.

[Brady]

Look away, King.

[John Holmberg]

They're what, I guess what Brady would call one of God's errors. And you shouldn't. They shouldn't reproduce. There's. They should be. Siamese twins shouldn't have, like, rights for that kind of stuff. Like you can bang them. They have to, like, they have to have their. They have to be sterilized. We can't perpetuate. You have to. That's not right.

[Brady]

Because I saw the one that. There's one of those fun fight fact things where they're given the bio of these Somi's twins that they went on the road to, you know, traveling circus, and both of them get married. Both of them have kids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, I don't know what that means. Not really. Because, I mean, if you. It depends.

[Brady]

They had two different brides, but they.

[John Holmberg]

Have four legs and two different ovaries.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They had both organs.

[Brady]

It was. There were two. They're boys.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the boys had two Wieners. Yeah, though. And then they got girls pregnant on the side. But they each had one leg. So one was righty, one was lefty. They swapped out and again, there's something wrong with you for. For. All right, I'll go so far as to say that maybe it's funny to bone one, but like getting in a relationship with a Siamese twin. You're the weird one. I love her. Look. Which one? The left. Oh God. What's wrong with the right? I look at her, deformed, like beyond belief.

[Brady]

About days like the kids school, you know, for like show and tell. My daddy's in a freak show.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't make babies with those in the animal kingdom. Like at the zoo, Christy would immediately slaughter one of those if it came out like.

[Brady]

No, if it was a snake or something. San Diego? Yeah, San Diego Zoo.

[John Holmberg]

If it's a multiple series have had up, sure. And what do they do with it? They jar it up and they keep it away from.

[Brady]

You know, a wildebeest with two heads.

[John Holmberg]

They're cutting that thing into pieces the second it comes out. If it levels up, come on, you.

[Brady]

Know, pop in this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, I should be here at night. There's no way that that happens. That they're like, oh Jesus. Because they can't have that press that. They're running some sort of, you know, mutant factory over there in the west valley. You got to kill that immediately. Kill it. Just say it was stillborn. Nobody talks about it. Double headed animals. At the very least, you make it so it can't reproduce. That's awful. It's a freak show. Snakes. They always do. They put them in that jar.

[Brady]

They seem to live for a while.

[John Holmberg]

They formaldehyde them up too. And then they keep them around for ages after they're dead just to show it. Two headed snakes. Creepy. You gotta be careful with them because they can just make their own. All I'm saying is if you're, if you're currently out there boning the Siamese twin, it's on you that you're the weirdo. Especially like the ones that are connected by the eyes and they got that weird pot sticker.

[Brady]

You see those, you know, you see snakes, cattle. I've never seen like a two headed bird. Bird with three wings.

[John Holmberg]

Like the mother like kicks it out of the nest immediately. Like this thing's a mess.

[Brady]

But even hatched, I guess. So you couldn't find it because they.

[John Holmberg]

They, they'd eat it immediately, like, all right. Nope.

[Brady]

Imagine a two headed eagle they're smart.

[John Holmberg]

Enough to know this thing's going to be nothing but trouble. Are you coming up with these? Yeah, because he's. He's an idiot. He can't bring up the animal. Side two headed eagle. As a baby, the mother would look down in the nest and go, what the.

[Brady]

Boom.

[John Holmberg]

Kill it. Because all she knows is, like, it's going to be a hindrance to everything that happens. It's going to get eaten so fast. Slow ass eagle. Look in two directions. Flies right into poles. Yeah. Come on. That thing's not gonna make it. Darwin will handle that. You can't mate with one of those. Keep it alive, put it on shows, you know, that's what the daytime talk show is missing. Like Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Clarkson don't do freak shows. We need one of those back. That way they get a little attention. Like Lori and Dory. You always have some wacky story where one hates country music, the other one wants to sing. If you're boning that, you're a pervert. That should be illegal. Like kids. That should be like pedophilia if you like. If you have a thing for Siamese twins, that should be a jailable offense unless you are one. Like, they should only. I'm gonna go ahead and say like some sort of Hitler like, eugenics thing. They should only be allowed to mate with each other. That's it. If they're not attracted, then on the nerve on them. I'm not attracted to Siamese twins, bitch. That's all you get.

[Brady]

You.

[John Holmberg]

You think you're in the dating pool. You've been narrowed. It's like, my Asian friend Jim doesn't like Asian women. I'm like, you better get on the ball, son. Doesn't make sense. But yeah, if you're boning a Siamese twin right now, don't wake the other one, but break up with the one you're with. Is that dude still married to those Siamese twins? Probably because he's a perv. And where else is he going to get that action? And what if they break up with you? Like, that's. That's the lowest of all lows. If the Siamese twins sit there and then the one quietly looks away and then she's like, we've been talking. What? Yeah. This isn't working out. You bet. You think you're gonna do better than me? Yeah, we think we can. Well, what if one doesn't?

[Brady]

I think that's happened.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's happened. Yeah, one kind of turns her head.

[Brady]

Had to look away had to.

[John Holmberg]

Just tears all the time and just sobbing while her. While her sister. While she gets hit in the face with the front of his thigh. While her sister gets. He's just getting choked to death by this dude's hog. Just taking it like a punching bag. Get a nut in the eye. Yeah. Come on. Come on with the friendly fire. You gotta put a bag overhead with a breathing hole while that happens. So she doesn't like a Gallagher show. Sorry about that. Yeah, we hate each other. It's fine. I gotta smell your nuts all day and then it breaks up with you and you're gonna try to go back to bumble. Tell me about your last relationship. I'd rather not. See, this is what the Bob screwed up in Minnesota. If they had something fun in the mornings talking about Siamese twins getting thigh pounded, it wouldn't be so angry over there. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 6:22. You tell us what you want to hear next. 585 9800. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new [e-mail]. here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted. Because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized. Countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me choose Lifted trucks and Lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder. It's John Holberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. 2026. Brand new year. That usually means every one of us says something like, this is the year I bl. And then we insert some strange goal. Let me tell you this. Most of the time you're not going to do it. This year I'm going to call TV's Doug Hawkins. He will buy your home as is. You can start eyeballing houses that are already upgraded. So fresh starts for 2026 are waiting for you at your keyboard. Start the process right now. Online Doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's a trap. I forgot about that guy, that crying guy. You're gonna be like, 20 years on this dude.

[Brady]

What was that from?

[John Holmberg]

From intervention. His brother started crying when his family. His family broke it to him. That introduced it to us. I think he just started. This is what. He just started crying. And there isn't much funnier than a man crying. Well, that's good stuff. Anyway, I don't know why that makes me. Every time. Every time. Got the sneezes. I got the. Got the snots guy emails and says, john, you just proved how much cooler guys are than girls with your twins talk. No woman would ever say, if I had a twin, I'd be swapping partners with my sister just for fun. You know why this gets good? Because it would be awesome. And women hate things that are awesome. Side note, I'm two weeks into my wife asking me for a divorce so she could move in with some guy she's been banging. She's gonna financially devastate me now. And she got her little life raft over there, willing to let her live for free with him. Them. I hate them all. Stephen. That took a turn. But it's true. If a dude. If a dude had a twin, like, Brett and I were talking. They had a twin. Brett and I are twins, and we swap out, like, ah, I got you, Matthiah. Like, we'd do that for fun. And if a woman found out that it was the twin, she'd stop it. Stop. This is weird. If Matthiah had a twin and they got in cahoots and said, try to bang breath, see if he notices. Even if you knew immediately, you're still gonna nail her sister. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're still.

[Brady]

You'd think to yourself and say, you got me.

[John Holmberg]

You guys, I can't believe. What a prank. What a prank you pulled. Oh, man. I thought a little something was off, but I couldn't quite. Ah, I never would have thought.

[Brady]

Anyway, do not do that one again.

[John Holmberg]

But the dude wouldn't be mad, but the wife would. Which is why Steven thinks guys are more. Are cooler. And that is a cooler thing. You got a twin sister and you guys want to start playing? See if my husband notices. Go blow him. He isn't. He know immediately, like, this is a different one. This bitch is not. This. Okay. Oh, baby, baby, this is so great. You just can't say it was better. That's the only thing it wouldn't matter if you struggle and your sister's terrible in bed. I thought something was wrong with you.

[Brady]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say no, but don't try that again. Why? You. You get divorced if you try to pull that with a woman. You get, like, a ring. If you try to do it from a guy, he's gonna buy. He's gonna buy you presents. You guys are hilarious. Wouldn't happen. And it does mean that guys are kind of cooler when it comes to that. Why anyone would care, I don't know. But I've got a lot of people asking me what I thought of the Steelers hiring Mike McCarthy. Nothing sexy about that, right? I mean, you can't. They roll in the fattest dude available, and you're like, all right, am I supposed to get excited about this?

[Brady]

He's happy. He's back home.

[John Holmberg]

Fine. He's in pa. He's a Pittsburgh guy. Super safe hire. Yeah. Not taking any risks. Not blown away by anybody. Good.

[Brady]

Jesse get along well. So that mean one more year for Aaron?

[John Holmberg]

Aaron would come back. They don't have a quarterback. It just kind of makes sense in a football season, and it just depends on his coordinators. To me, it's a three to five year plan to bridge who's going to be in the organization and then kind of build a little coaching tree and then try to see if you can get some young, exciting coordinators that'll be under Mike's umbrella, that he can kind of move in. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. I just know this. We saved you Cardinals. We saved you from the Mike McCarthy era. He wouldn't want this job anyway. But still, nobody even, like. Like nobody's even interviewing here. They're all just saying, it's too perfect there. I want to go to Cleveland. I don't understand that. But, yeah, it's not. It's not an exciting hire by any stretch. So I'm not, like, doing backflips, but status quo. He's. Get the offense in shape. We'll see. Not too incredibly blown away. Also, I'm starting to notice a trend. You know, I've. I've.

[Brady]

I've.

[John Holmberg]

For the last. I don't know. You just live long enough, you start seeing the same things happen over and over. And you. You know, that's kind of where my skepticism comes into the whole Minnesota Ice thing. Like, we used to march about everything. Marches don't do anything. They just cause trouble and then make us all argue and Then it goes away in Minnesota.

[Brady]

It hasn't been good.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's been marches.

[Brady]

They're not good marchers.

[John Holmberg]

They've done this a couple times.

[Brady]

It just seems that way.

[John Holmberg]

And it seems sort of weird that, you know, had the whole Rittenhouse thing and he had a gun at the deal and he taking people out and it's like, eh, Everybody's got the same argument and then they flip flop sides. It doesn't matter. And then you have, you know, the lady march a few years ago, and they're mad at us. Remember the MeToo marches? And it just went away. And then we were mad at gays. We had gays running around. Nope. And then trans. Nobody does that anymore. And so it's all this. But I have noticed that this dawned on me back when gay marriage was no big deal to almost all of us. Remember how they tried to make us fight over that? Like, they got real fired up on one side. Well, if we let them marry each other, it's against this. And man and woman. And everybody's like, we don't care. And it just passed. And nobody threw a fit. Everybody thought there'd be walls up and there'd be like, marches against. And there's a few people who grouchied up, but nobody in the general population was willing to take the streets in 20 below and start screaming, I want it back. It. It just went and came and went. So like the next day they're like, oh, Jesus. They didn't care about the gays. Turn it up a notch. Trans everything. And like, trans. You're transphobic. Like, I didn't even know there were that many of them. Like, yeah, they're everywhere. And your kids are it too. And like all these stories you have.

[Brady]

To make this gay man's wedding cake.

[John Holmberg]

All this stuff that didn't exist before started to exist where it was like, trans this, trans. And beta blockers, puberty. But no, I didn't. Nobody knew that it was a. Even a drug that you could do that, that you can stop there and chop their willies off. And when they're 12, they can make choices. I'm like, who's going through this? I don't. No one. And so then it became that this new one I'm seeing because it doesn't seem like we're arguing a whole bunch about that anymore either. That kind of. That one ran its course. Well, that one sort of fizzled. It ran its course. And everybody's like, look, be trans all you want, but I ain't Changing my day for it. And you can have your they, thems and all that stuff on your own time. But I ain't. I ain't catching a kick for goofing up pronouns. I got. You know, I went to school for a lot, and one of the things that I kind of got okay at was speaking out loud. And I sound like a retard when I say they, them the wrong way. It's just. It's. You're doing it wrong. It just screws up. It screws up English. So if I'm guessing you're a he and you're not, oops, that's legitimate. And especially if you're an ugly one. Like, you're the ones that have to get lighter. And we kind of told them that, and we're like, we're not doing. It's like, midgets, midgets. Like, we want to not be called that anymore. Like, what are you going to do about it? There's a whole movement that basically everybody's like, I'm tired of getting pushed around. I'm not doing this maliciously, so don't get mad at me. This new thing I'm seeing is they're trying to convince us that animals are now super duper gay. I've seen like, 10 stories in the last two weeks. I feel like this is a. Like, they're starting to move into this. Manatees died from injuries because it had a sex with his brother. He's like, see? Manatees do it. And that in some way is starting to. Like, every time they mention that human beings aren't the only ones. And suddenly we are noticing gay sex in the sea a lot. And before we did. I don't think we were looking for it. No, nobody really cares. Like, those manatees are both men. They're both gay. And really. And then so there was the two pandas that people in China got killed for it for trying to say that they were mating, and then one of them got pregnant. That's not real. Sounds like a Springer show. It is, but I'm starting to see all these things, and I'm like, is this the next step to try to get us to yell at each other over gay being a natural thing?

[Brady]

And all the science was covering up the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And we never saw, like, two bears. Well, we have. You know, that's different. I shouldn't use that. But like, two. You know, it's weird because here's. Here's the thing. I never notice. See, Lesbianism, it doesn't exist.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So if they start in with that, I'll know it's all fake.

[Brady]

If it's on both sides.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're saying, well, okay, I guess they do have a pension to kind of, you know, they're into fish. It makes sense to me. That would kind of like, there's numerous.

[Brady]

Species in the island of Lesbos, right. Are they bonding?

[John Holmberg]

Dolphins scissoring out there somewhere? Like, why do I have to hear about gay manatees as if that's something. That's going to be something we have to deal with later. If a gay manatee exists. That just sounds like a criminal manatee to me. It's his brother too, by the way. This is gross. Sounds like an alt Az band. Gay Manatee is a phenomenal alternative rock band. Gay Manatee. And then the. The album would be called Dead From Injury. Yeah, it's in something and they're like it since. Well, it happens all the time. And it's like they're trying to. I've never heard in my whole life, there's never been a news story one, you know, that fish can be gay. Like, who's looking? You're the weirdo. It's like those people that used to try to play records backwards to find the devil's thing. You're the devil. If you're playing music, it's not the way it's intended. And of course you're going to invite bands to put in special messages for the lunatics. It was a fun game, but you're nuts for playing music backwards to try to find men. None of us were. None of us that liked the Judas Priest ever spun it backwards. Until religious people started to say, you know, there's messages on there. Like, is there? And then we'd start like, oh, my God, they did edit.

[Brady]

You may hear that after the fact. Let's do it.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Only the dummies thought it was real. We all knew it was a joke. Judas Priest was playing on the. In my entire life, I have never watched the news and heard the manatees are gay ever. And suddenly, like four stories in the last week where I've seen wildlife that they're like, they caught them. They're gay. They do it too. Well, that doesn't. Does that make it right? Does that. What does that mean? And when. And if you do find, like a female bear laying on her back and another female bear just licking away he got something, now, I'll believe you. But if it's just dudes boning, it's like prison. It just. It's a Last resort for their, you know, desires. And they're like, ah. And they just grab the first thing with a hole and attack. It's called rape. Ask both those bears if they're gay, because I'm guessing the weaker one wasn't. I'm guessing the weaker one was attacked. Attacked. Because how do they know? It's like Andy Dufresne, I think. Yeah, exactly. He wasn't gay. Andy wasn't gay. Which is. The sisters in jail are going to be there forever. It's like, the only way I'm getting laid is this way. And if a bear's in his heat or whatever bears do, I don't know. And then he's like, there's no girls around at all. I'm going to lose it. He's got a screw loose.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, in the pass. It would kill the rival. Well, should he?

[John Holmberg]

You didn't bang him and then, like, buy him a drink.

[Brady]

Hey, let's not fight. Let's bang.

[John Holmberg]

Trying to make it seem like they're. They're getting together like, this. Gay is a bottom. These bears are not doing that. And manatees in this. Who's looking for this? I want that job. My name is Stephen Johnson. I work for the Underwater Society, and my job is to watch for gay sex. Why? Well, just because we want to prove that it's normal. We don't care. But this is getting out of hand.

[Brady]

There's probably chemicals in the water.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably chemtrails that somehow seeped down into the oceans and made them gay. Alex Jones, Been talking about it for a long time. The frog gay thing. It's like they're making the frogs gay. We don't know what to do. It's like frogs are able to do that on their own.

[Brady]

People are dumping their hormonal pills in the head.

[John Holmberg]

Could be. Maybe it's our drugs. Either way. I never once watched Marlon Perkins or David Attenborough or Morgan Freeman or any of those people show me snow leopards like they're gay.

[Brady]

Ziggy jumped up and mounted our dog. Catch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, but they're playing.

[John Holmberg]

Are they boys?

[Brady]

Yeah, both boys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They'll hump boys, Humphrey. They get excited immediately. Oh, doggy. Yeah.

[Brady]

No, they're not.

[John Holmberg]

Frank. My dog Frank. Little Frankie will grab any dog laying down by the head and just bang him in the face.

[Brady]

Yeah. Catch. Head.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. It's one of my favorite stories ever. I was on the phone with, I think, DirecTV and I couldn't remember what. And Frank started to bang Sheila's face. And because they have regular. And the guy on the other line had the greatest line ever. When I'm like, hey, Frank, stop your sister's face. And I didn't realize. I'm like, oh, geez, sorry. And he goes, kids. I'm like, no. What the hell do you think happens in my house? Kids? I don't have kids. I would have dropped the phone and one of my kids was banging the other one in the face. Dogs. It's not right. But hey, you put a stop to it. You don't marvel at it and go, oh, they're gay. Isn't that like we're supposed to think it's awesome you break that up. I don't know how you break up manatee gay sex, but you break it up. Sonar some sort of blip like Gary with a crowbar. Pry that open. Yeah, it's enough of that, you know, it's tons of stories now where I'm like, it's happening a lot. Been around for a minute now. I don't know what the hell. Animals. Yeah.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Never once did we ever. I was in. I had agriculture class and Ms. Larson never told us about like the gay horses. Like you can. She won't like. That would be the thing.

[Brady]

You think it'd be tough. You know, it's tough being human and being gay sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine what an outcast should be in.

[Brady]

The animal kingdom when you need numbers. If. Especially if you're a chicken or a rabbit.

[John Holmberg]

And you just can't get hard for the girls. You just can't get hard for the girls. Like the stallions are like, get out of here. They got nothing.

[Brady]

He's just, hey, coyote. There's a twink den over there.

[John Holmberg]

We got to get over that. The coyote. Twinkle. We better have Christine a little bit early today then. Yeah. Because we got a lot to cover with. Because they do weird stuff, animals, but you hose them off, you break it up, you know. But we are. It is a different world that I'm. I'm just. Yeah, I'm just not real comfortable with.

[Brady]

Hell, I just want my two headed eagle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That thing was weird that you brought up. That's a strange desire. But gay animals never existed. And look, maybe Brady's right. Maybe we just pour too many pills into the. Into the sewers and they're getting there and they make them gay. I don't know. But I do know that it was never a topic. And by the way, no one cared if they were. But until I see, you know, two girl animals Doing it. I'm gonna feel like there's some sort of reason behind telling me about this. This. It's only the dudes, that they care. Only the dude animals. I want to see some. Some like. Like leopards getting out of a forester and going to a WNBA game, just licking each other like crazy. If they ever catch that, where one's on his back and the other one is just devouring down there, like, wow, animals are gay. But it's never the girls.

[Brady]

Different roar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they'd have a roar on them for sure. But is there lesbians in the animal kingdom? Never hear about it, but I got stories about maids. Well, 80s Daryl Hannah. That would have been awesome.

[Brady]

But she was hetero.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so was Ariel. Ariel didn't mess with the snooch.

[Brady]

And they were there to lure the men into the water.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. There's a siren song of the mermaid that would lure you in and you would die. And deep down, that's one of those weird myths that I kind of still hope is real one of these days. Like, it's not, and I know it's not, but it would be awesome. And it would be even better if Ariel was a lesbian and there was like this thing under the sea of hot lesbian mermaids. I mean, that's just awesome.

[Brady]

That was awesome. Yeah. Legs would dry up and she'd have legs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. When she got on land, she could light up, wander around and scissor with other humans and then get back in the water. You know what isn't hot? Some sort of enclave of gay mermen. Yuck. But it is hard to think of mermaids getting it on. So if we're under the sea looking for that, fine. But just keep the manatee stories to yourself. Seen a couple of them. Like, trying to convince me dolphins are gay too. Why? What bearing does that have on us at all? And at the end of the story, it always comes up, see, it's normal. Saying it's not normal, but it's not for everybody. I'm sure there's some Republican dolphins down there that aren't real happy with this. Jesus loving dolphins. They're like, that is against dolphin nature.

[Brady]

Download dolphins.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the DL dolphins. That's another good band name for them. But the. Yeah, I don't think that's normal. This one says, man, I thought y' all were normal until now. Cheating on your wife is one thing, but to do it with an exact carbon copy is just sick, man. It's like jerking off to your own broad. That is True. It is. Christopher. You're not wrong. It is. It is weird to beat off to your own wife. That's just gross. But I'm saying, if her sister rolled over in a twin joke, you wouldn't stop it. As a guy, you'd let give it a shot. You'd see how long they'd carry it out, and you'd get yelled at in the middle because it isn't. They're not normal. So it would be. It would be a complete trap. And you'd be like, all right, I'm gonna boner it up for this. Let's go. You're gonna do it? Yeah, I'm gonna do it, baby. Well, I'm her sister. Wha. And then we get yelled at. You don't even know the difference. I have a mole on my left hip. She has a mole in her right hip. I'm like, yeah, but it was dark.

[Brady]

You're the one that deceived me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this is on you. You guys tried this on me. You don't even care about her. Like, all right. You don't care about me. Are we gonna do this or not? I mean, if your pooper's out, let's get to work, and then we'll argue later. Taking my shots. So I should just finish this myself. You two are gonna go. That I didn't know which side the mole was on because I don't. You know, I never take it back door. Oh, she did. That's why I was so surprising. This was great. I married the wrong one. Your sister goes everywhere. You had him in your ass. You said do everything. Is your sister still single? Yeah, it would. It seems.

[Brady]

I don't want to talk about it.

[John Holmberg]

But again, that's why they're not as cool as us, because dudes would high five. We got her. Hilarious. And we'd never talk about it again. Girls would come back. Oh, he didn't know he finished.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

They'd cry and be postinos, talking about how they got to end everything. He doesn't even know the difference. I know we're twins and we did this, but, like, no, this is just bad. And don't think it happens to my sister. You did it with my sister, you pig. She's got bangs, and I don't. I don't even know what that is. I just thought your hair looked like crap today. I didn't know banged her. Bangs are the worst. I had her shoot. In my. In my defense, she was facing away. How am I supposed to know what her Hairdo was like. Remember back door? Yeah. I was hitting her from behind. I thought it was weird that the girl with bad hair wanted it in the ass all of a sudden, But I'm not gonna argue you. She said she wanted to try something new. That's what you just said. You guys are almost exactly the same. Give me a break.

[Brady]

She's bald. I. I couldn't tell. It's dark.

[John Holmberg]

Dark. And she. I thought you were wig. I'm not mad at you. I just want to notice different hairstyles. You know, I have my hair trimmed above my shoulders, and hers is. Okay, this is where we. This is where you lose us. We're not sure when we're supposed to comment on that stuff. Stuff. But if you're mad about it, that's one thing. Here's another thing. Guy talks about jerking off to your wife and all that they have found. And I have a theory about this, too, that the people who are most likely to be unfaithful as music fans are jazz. Really? Yeah. Never would have called that. I would have thought rap. I thought country. No, I think country's on lockdown. Yeah. I think they love their ladies. Maybe not the girls, though. No, I. Well, they would keep it in the family. Ew. You're probably right. That's what I'm saying. Thinking about it, I'm like, you know what? Country music does have a.

[Brady]

Put the jazz. That's why you got artists like Bony James.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

You agree?

[John Holmberg]

Calm down. It says, yeah, Jazz fans have to keep whatever's in their pants. Don't laugh at it. He'll do it again. He'll do it again. It's two days with Kirby, and he comes up Mondays with this crap. That kind of garbage right there. Is the Monday after a Kirby weekend. Or just stoned daughters. It's a great one, man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Brett and John don't find these funny. Bony James, man. Great stuff, man. Kirby gets me. I'm gonna try that on Monday anyway. And you're not helping with the giggles over there. Kirby Jr. It says that they did a survey of 6,500 people who had admitted to not being faithful at one point and found that three quarters of the men. Wait, that can't be right. That's not right. It says three quarters of the men still think about that girl when they hear their favorite music because it was all music based and jazz. Jazz topped the list of seductive genres. Salsa was second. Pop music is third. Country was fourth. Rap fifth. Classical music has more. Wanderers, blues, reggae, and ninth place. 98 KUPD rock and roll.

[Brady]

They're taking the sex out of rock and roll.

[John Holmberg]

Heavy metal is 12.2percent of heavy metal guys drift. And that's because there are no girls at the concerts anymore. That's true. I bet you in the 80s that was different.

[Brady]

You don't. You rarely see, man, put some metal on, you'll get the chicks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they don't show up for it, so, you know, it's all just dudes yelling at their dads now. So it isn't about sex like it used to be. Rock and roll and metal used to be about, like, aggression and masculinity, and women were into it, and not anymore, too long ago.

[Brady]

I mean, you're talking 70 years ago. I mean, rock and roll first came out. That was sexual.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. It was all about, like, devil's music.

[Brady]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Elvis's hips, and you're gonna get everybody pregnant watching tv. Country's probably the toughest one, though, because they do have the current crop of hot girls. You know, you kind of have to tolerate if you're with a group of girls and stuff. I had a girl say that the.

[Brady]

Other day, and every other song's breaking a heart.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I told her, I said, ah, country music makes me sick. I like everything but country. And she goes, it's okay on a boat. And then you pictured her on a boat, and you're like, yeah, I could tolerate some country music. She's right. I still don't like the music. But if she's gonna wander, if her and her friends are gonna wander around on a boat. Boat. I'm gonna just. Jason Aldean's not so bad that day. I'm gonna hate it. It's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] it's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price, or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing. It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness to tell you about Game Day Men's Health. Game Day Men's Health is a life changer. For a lot of you guys out there who've hit a certain age, we won't mention it. Maybe you don't recover from workouts as well. Maybe just don't feel like you're you. I wasn't recovering from workouts and I didn't feel as good. I got on Samorin, which is an awesome peptide. It feels great. My skin feels cleaner. I feel better about me. Don't let age be a number that stops you from doing stuff. Head on down to Game Day Men's health and get yourself back to being you. Gameday men's health.com Hol's Morning Sickness. You think they're going to wander around the boat listening to Slayer or No, that's the thing. Very rarely. And the ones that do do. That's just a hep C. The name of the boat is Hepsy. There's nothing wrong with Lycan Slayer, but if you get a gaggle of them, you very rarely get, like, swimsuit models.

[Brady]

I love angel of Death.

[John Holmberg]

Can you play that right? You don't have.

[Brady]

Heavily requested at weddings.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And we as fans of it even know there's something wrong with her. But I like angel of Death. Oh, That thing looks like braille down there. Yeah. I was surprised, though, that rock and roll is classical passed it up. Blues more likely to get them.

[Brady]

I. I do the survey again.

[John Holmberg]

You think 6, 500 people's a pretty big survey, that is.

[Brady]

Where were they in here, the states or is that a. Out of the country?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I don't know. It's off of a website called Metal Injection. So I think they were, like, kind of surprised themselves. Either that or they're trying to say we're the safest ones. Also, if you take a look around at a Slayer concert, it's not exactly like women are throwing themselves at those guys either, let alone the girls that would like that.

[Brady]

Because the amount of people that I'm thinking that would, you know, it's got to be percentage. The amount of people that said, oh, yeah, I really like classical music is such a smaller audience.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And evidently.

[Brady]

So it's got to be weighted.

[John Holmberg]

Then hosing each other like crazy. Yeah. It's percentage of people who interviewed said, I like classic.

[Brady]

Out of the. Out of the 10 classical, we had.

[John Holmberg]

Two people well, it was 6,500 people that had admitted to a fair, right? And then they broke it down on the music, and they're like, well, what music do you like, prefer? And it came up jazz. Like 19%. That's pretty big. Is it more sensual? Yeah, because like this, it's. Well.

[Brady]

Well, you think about. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It'S cheap music. Chicks are gonna throw themselves in my car, bro. It's Angel Death. Come on. I hate you listening to that synoptic music. You're just gonna end up with some other girl. Shut up, bitch. Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, you listen to this, too?

[John Holmberg]

Are you a swimsuit model? Yes, I'm a temptress. Nothing's wrong with you, though. What would be wrong with me? I like this. All right. I can't resist.

[Brady]

Never forget our first dance.

[John Holmberg]

This is not cheating music. You wanna like your wife. Every wife should want you to listen to this. No woman should ever say, turn that on. Okay? This is a guarantee that nobody's gonna want to sleep with me. And the ones who do are so creepy, I don't want to sleep with them. So if I got a chick who's into angel at death. Yikes. She's got one of those tattoos of a dead friend that she had ground up and stuff and made into some sort of ink. But what about this one?

[Brady]

It's in a vial.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She carries it on her neck. Now you got this accidental cheat. You don't even go out to try to do it. And the next thing you know, you're like, lou Rolls is on. And if. Even if you even start tapping your toe, girl across the bar is like, ooh, he's seductive. God forbid you start singing it. If they're a karaoke and you do this, there's gonna be three overweight black girls and a white girl that are going home with you if you want all of them. You never find what's sexier to sing as long as you live. This is definitely. Unfortunately, most people who like jazz too much are gay.

[Brady]

Well, I think that reflects too. A little bit of the age too, because, you know, you hear about. About told about the Villages and all these old retirement. They're so active. It's true.

[John Holmberg]

They're listening to a lot.

[Brady]

You know, think about people have been.

[John Holmberg]

Married for a long time, had it with each other.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This is kind of jazz, though. Don't. It would be played on a jazz station. But like Kenny. Not Kenny G. David Sanborn and those like Miles Davis. Jazz is basically the angel of death of jazz. That's not you're not getting sex from that. If you are, it's with somebody like Grace Jones. Snap your dick off. Don't want any of that. I can listen to Lou Rolls all day. And like blues is the surprising one. That 6% of people listening to blues. But that's probably. Yeah, they're probably just sad. And they did stuff because they're sad.

[Brady]

It's got to be. And then it's also age, I think would kick in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's another one. Electronica was 4% and indeed indie music was 3%. But I think that's just because it's a gang bang over there. Heavy metal 2%. And heavy metal is the one that put that down low. But you'd think that used to be sex, drugs and rock and roll was. Not anymore. Sex, drugs and jazz. And then salsa was 14%. But that's that Latin thing. Thing. It's like your girl you're taking snapshots of. Yeah, yeah. She still look that ST music with her. She starts doing that little shake and you're like, it's all about nothing. I can do the dancing is the seductive dancing that they have. There's no seductive dancing with angel of Death. You can't like grab a cat different and walk her out to the floor. This one you get. Oh yeah. Next thing you know, you're grinding a little bit, doing some sexy hip moves and stuff. Death, Move over Angel of Death. You're just punching her in the tummy, hoping she's not pregnant. Some sort of weird heavy metal abortion. God damn, this someone who needs you. All that stuff. I used to love working in the same building as the Coyote. Cuz you'd go down there and just hear like something awesome. And it was just immediately like, boy, this sets the tone. You just wanted to light candles every time I went in there to like check a log. Like, I gotta go sign a paper. Stay here for a minute. Yeah, I just went in there and just immediately sunk into silk. Welcome to the mighty krp.

[Brady]

And then Jeffrey Holden.

[John Holmberg]

Jeffrey Holder. Pops.

[Brady]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the coyote 95.5. Everything was about guttural. It makes sense.

[Brady]

Never gone away.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Smooth jazz was like. They had some stuff like, you want to put on a little David Sandler and just find one? Everything he did, you'd want. Not just a dude playing the sacks. You get in there and it was like, man, this is a dreamy kind of vibe. I couldn't listen to it all the time, but when it's on, I got no complaints. I'll go in and get angel of Death. And the last thing it's going to do is moisten a woman. There's some David Sandbo, David Sanborn. This is the kind of stuff you put on. Come on. When a girl's like she's gonna be home at 5 o'. Clock. I'm gonna spread some rose petals on the bed, make her a chicken marsala. I'm gonna order it and act like I'm made it. She comes walking in the door. What now? If angel of Death is playing, shut it up. Would have thought it'd be romantic, this and it's age. It's all of them. Yeah, it's ages 8 to 80. Everybody's like calmer, happier. But you can't listen to it all the time.

[Brady]

I think went to a big surgeon. The, the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man.

[Brady]

The 90s, the movies. You had to have the Saxon.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, very rarely. The angel of Death playing in the sex. I remember Tom Behringer kissing the curb on that one. Tom Behringer and Greta Scotchi in that movie. Listening to angel of Death, making sweet love in those silk sheets. I'm gonna listen to some jazz today and watch that girl try to flash me. Oh yeah, Salsa, second country and pop, third and fourth. Pop music's a little bit odd. I think that's just a young thing. Like they get excited around each other and they're all hormonal.

[Brady]

I'm surprised the pop was over like the R B for some reason, the R B.

[John Holmberg]

Because jazz, I think they might has.

[Brady]

An R B, you know, feel to it sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think pop and R B kind of. I don't know, they didn't include it. It's not in there because.

[Brady]

Because now you're the ballad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. R and B is definitely a good thing. Blues, that's. Yeah. Classical music's the one. You're right. That kind of gets into the 60 year olds that are tired of each other and they start and go to other people's houses for a old fashioned. And then the guy like this professor banging away. No, Uhoh. Jody, no. Color me bad. Color me bad. That's right. Oh that's right. Forgot about that. That weird white dude. He's dead now. One of them is we could do this for the night of the sings ate this. Oh but again this was the smart thing back that you know, grind up against you changed everything anyway, that's where.

[Brady]

That lives at PM Dawn. It's a hybrid.

[John Holmberg]

PM dawn was. That was more like political though this one. And they had like some on them. Weren't they upset about stuff too though?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember. This was just too fast.

[Brady]

Drop the Christina Applegate.

[John Holmberg]

I don't. This. This was just like words from Bubbles. Like. I don't remember this having any meaning. It just had a second. Just had a cool beat, a great beat.

[Brady]

Cuz it's spand out ballet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a solid one right there. But these guys just start talking about nonsense in the middle of it. I wish they shut up. Just give me the instrumental. Give me that. You got a cool vibe going here, Henry. Out of memory. Yeah, it's like dudes trying lines on you and they're not working. Yeah, they're wooing and I ain't getting wooed. But jazz and sexes. This guy said this is the jazz is the reason the weather channel music makes me feel funny in my pants. It is when they play the temperatures across the the country and they have that jazz in the back. Maybe that's it. You had half hard watching weather. Stupid. Anyway, thought that was a strange thing. An interesting study. While we all kind of navigate the world with game mermaids and manatees and all, now they're all suggesting their songs. So here's another one. None of it's angel of Death. Jody. Oh, this one Jodecy was. I knew a girl who like, she would say it. She's like, if Jodeci comes out in the car, I'm going to F you. I'm like, we can't do that. That's. No. I tried to drive her around a lot to find Jodeci. Him. I didn't have a Jodeci table. Come on, Bruce Kelly, play it. Come on. Jesus, Bruce, zip your pants and put that thing away and get some Jodecy on.

[Brady]

Too late.

[John Holmberg]

Tenant Bruce is standing outside with his dick out again. All I needed. Yeah, she was a sexy hostess. But she would say that. Oh, if I'm in the car and Jodeci's on, I'm. I'm out of control. All right. I don't know what it meant. You don't see that with angel of Death. You don't. You don't see that anal C word. Not a lot of normal chicks coming your way.

[Brady]

Womb with prism sex.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Tooling. Getting you laid by anything sexy girls can light tool but very rarely are the. You know.

[Brady]

And it's not really the design.

[John Holmberg]

No, but exactly. It's for dudes to be mad at their parents. Very rarely is there a. A gaggle of 25 year old models hanging out at a tool concert just looking for D. You think about the.

[Brady]

You know, crossover bands in that room, like gnr.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that was. That worked for the ladies. That was right at the end there. Yeah, that was right there at that 80s thing when the dudes looked like women. Like they were taking fashion advice from these bands.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's true. There was a little bit of wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was a lot of androgyny going on. And the ladies loved it because they were singing about sex and fun. That was the last time rock music was a blast. And was it. And it's not aged well, but you go back and listen to.

[Brady]

And they tried to do what they could to tarnish it.

[John Holmberg]

Showing up late, everything to ruin it. But that was the drugs and the, you know, these guys can't get on stage on time because they're boning everybody. Good for them. All the videos were just hot chicks going backstage. I was like, man, they're living the life. Everybody, every dude wanted to be them, every woman wanted to be with them. And they'd sing about. About parties and sex and fun. And then every once in a while a ballad to let him know, I'm sad sometimes. And women would eat that alive. And then Nirvana came along and said, everybody stinks. And I'm like, it's good music. But we all fell into that grunge thing and it hasn't been fun since. It's good, but not fun. Pop got stronger except for like A Day to Remember. And then who sings that mantra song? I just saw them bring me the horizon.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

God damn. They brought fun and energy, but they're not singing about like love and stuff. Then you had like the old Poison videos and stuff. And that's a. That's Brett Michaels. He's gorgeous. I didn't know that was a guy until he saw him with his shirt off. And look at what he's in bed with. Outrageously hot Paul Stanley. What? And doesn't look a little outrageously. Is that a fella? Before I start talking. They had such amazing hair. And then this. Yeah, and. Oh, and this is to let the ladies know. You know what? I sing about sex and partying all the time. But deep down I just want someone to love. We both l silently still in the dinner tonight Pause the video. Although we both like your close together we feel miles apart Steers ears are perking up right now. You know what? Oh yeah. Mark's very upset. The best thing about this is this song is actually about the girl he left behind when he's on the road, I know you know I'm boning like crazy But I'm thinking of you But I guess that's why the se. Yeah, I can't do it. Leave your shirt on. Yeah.

[Brady]

That's why you pay me 600% more.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't understand, like every time I have sex on the road, I'm thinking about you. I wrote a song about it just like every cowboy. These dudes had magic powers over the ladies. Oh, yeah. Back in the day, I mean, dudes from Faster Cats sang about not having a dad and chicks melted. He's going through something. It's crazy. Anyway, it's not jazz. I wonder what that would have. Like people like back in the the 80s. That had to be the number one slip up music like Odd Boy, because every band had the same formula. Three or four songs talking about how much they want to bang it and then one song about, oh geez, I just want one. I just want a beautiful lady to live with forever. Everything was veiled and dirty. Look at them. And they all. In the video, they all look worn out from all the sex they're having. They're just looking for a steady, steady lady. Like where the roadies pull them off stage cuz they've just collapsed, working too much. They gave it to you. They gave you all they got. Now they're going to try to go have sex with some groupies, service the fans. But I'll be thinking to you every time I thrust in. You'll be on my mind. And they ate it. Up, up. And then somewhere along the line, Pearl Jam came along and said, don't you hate your dad? And then from there on they're like, yep, that's all rock became. We need some dudes to come back, start singing about. Let me pull you off stage right here. Yeah, look at this. That's right. Yeah. You remember this? He's. Yeah, he's fainted. Roadies have to carry poisons. It's not because. Look at the girls are crying. He's going through something. He's going through something. That's it. But really what he's going through is like heroin. Just finally, that's all he could handle. All the shots from the clap that he got on the tour. Yeah, the clap finally dizzied him. Eventually syphilis knocks you out. Talk about vaccines, these dudes. Anyway, Brett, you make a good point with Poison. We used to be able to do that. You can't find that anymore. Somebody actually pointed out something I said I thought about this yesterday too. My, my, my earlier statement in the year is that you can't ever win a championship in football with a ginger quarterback maybe coming to an end. Sam Darling looks pretty solid. Pretty solid right now. Starting to make me question whether or not he's a legitimate ginger. He just might be an ugly, ugly like brown haired guy. He's ginger alright. And I said it before it break.

[Brady]

It would break the curse.

[John Holmberg]

The curse is gingers. No championships. And somebody always brings up Canelo Alvarez in boxing. That's an individual effort. I'm talking in team sports. When you've got a leader who's a ginger, you don't win titles solo.

[Brady]

Different sir.

[John Holmberg]

Baseball's different too. But football, you got like the quarterback. He not winning with a ginger quarterback. Not happening. Just not happening. This might break it. Sam Darnold might. I mean we talk about Doug Williams being the first black quarterback to break that ceiling. Sam Darnold's the first ginger like to get this far even. And we've had some 15 year old.

[Brady]

Drake May could do it, you know. You know.

[John Holmberg]

No, that team's seemingly in way over there. What I watched yesterday was a different game than what I watched in the afternoon. That garbage show they put on for the AFC championship game. I want him to replay it just for my entertainment.

[Brady]

Thought maybe there was a little thing going on with steady Stidham when he threw that long pass.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was a great throw. And then they were done.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. Carson Palmer. They consider him a ginger. Andy Dalton, who's the gingeriest ginger of all? I still sometimes play the Andy Griffith theme song for Opie when we want an interception from the Bengals because he still curses them with his ginger. Cooper Rush. Never going to get a title. Brandon Weedon, remember him? Jason Garrett. Cody Mott.

[Brady]

Don't know that one.

[John Holmberg]

There's Sant. There he is. Sam Darnold. Yeah, close. He's not like full freckly ginger but he's ginger. There have not been many NFL gingers. Don't win titles with an NFL ginger at the helm, head coach or otherwise. There's Brandon. Brandon Wheaton was the one who. He was the first one that like came out of college when he was 26. Sonny Jurgensen. That that count? That didn't count because it was like ages before we cared. And there's been a few Dan Coppins. One that you know the guys that. Jesus Christ.

[Brady]

What's that brings it.

[John Holmberg]

Ethan Albright.

[Brady]

Albright.

[John Holmberg]

He played for the Redskins. Boy did he. He wasn't allowed to play day games. That dude skin would burst into flames. This is just the NFL salute to Ginger. So, yeah, you can't have a quarterback, Ginger. You can have a quarterback. Yeah, you can't have a quarterback, Ginger. Has to be. Look at Andy Dalton. That dude is a red from Star Trek.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It doesn't look. I would say that no one would believe. That's good hair. Get a different wig. Yeah, you can have dudes that are, you know, on the team. But John Beck, I'll even go so far as to say you can't have more than three, because that's a coven. And the next thing you know, you got witchcraft coming in. And you can't have one leading the way. But Sam Darnold might wreck that. And Toledo's going to start begging for money and time off. I think he thinks he's going to Santa Clara.

[Brady]

He was dropping some hints last night.

[John Holmberg]

Was he? Yeah, he asked if Doug Hopkins would pay for a trip for him to go to the Super Bowl. Like, why don't you do it? Why do we need socialism? Because you're. That's your wife's idea. That's AOC in your house. That's saying, have someone else pay for this trip. I think he's gonna do it.

[Brady]

And that's silly, because right now it has a feeling like it's gonna be the 85 Bears, the Patriots.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good. The 40th anniversary of that, too. I'm fine with that. I just can't have the Patriots the 12th Super Bowl. I can't have them winning. They can't do it. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Burt? All right, Wake up. Brought to you by us, as a matter of fact. So. Yeah, us. Yeah, we're bringing you guys this one.

[Brady]

Cool.

[John Holmberg]

Especially this one, because Duran Duran grows on film for you and your Instagram broad dick. Yeah. Mud Vein, Death Clock, Electric Call Boy, Black Sabbath, Snow Blind for All that Weather Back East, Volbeat Slayer, angel of Death on the list, of course. Now Fozzie Architects, Metallica, Judas Priest, Turbo for All the Gay Animals, New Clutch. And then since it's Eddie Van Halen's birthday, Running with the Devil, We Played a Lemine Streets. Another one. People are emailing me like crazy. What's the girl? You're Only J u.r e t O S and don't email me later. Don't even get naked. That's the point of the game. She does little quick flashes. You gotta find them. It's like, where's Waldo. Only it's her snooch and occasionally a nipple. She did a trucker hat one that was kind of cool. You could kind of see her boobs through the trucker hat. You gotta catch that. It's a game, and I don't want to hear from people going, oh, if you hit the little three dots on the bottom. And I know the sequencing thing. I could. But what's the fun in that? That that's like being allowed to touch the strippers. Like, there's a certain distance here. There's a wall that's between us that I'm getting away with something by.

[Brady]

Drink your Snapple and take your shots.

[John Holmberg]

Take. Take your shots, man. And have fun with it. But I don't want to hear from everybody, why would you do that when you can just look at them? Like, I'm not into it. Like, I know porn exists. I like the game. It's fun. Especially when she looks like that. She got that voice. My God, I'm becoming a sucker for the voice. Instagram's taught me that. You got a good voice. I kind of melt a little bit when I'm trying to get pictures of your snooch. You know, it's safe. It's a screen. Big deal. All right, what do you want to do, Brett? Anything. I'm good with most of it. Doesn't matter. Let's do a little Van Halen couple a again. All right. Do we do running with the devil? We could. Or be a good one. What's a good one for Eddie? I mean, everybody will say eruption. Eruption's great. But it leads into.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know. You really got me. You really got me unchained. Everybody wants some mean streets earlier. Yeah. You want to stay with early or you want to go? That's what I'm trying to think of. This Vanhager, like, humans beings was cool. Humans being is good. Let's go with that. Human beings being. Because that's got a cool guitar in it. That's when they kind of brought that back. That is a great tone. All right. Humans being. Got it right here. Glorious. How old would have Eddie been?

[Brady]

71.

[John Holmberg]

71, man. How about that? It's Van Halen for eddie's birthday. It's 98.

[Brady]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. If you're looking at new vehicles for.

[Brady]

The new year, look no further than.

[John Holmberg]

Your Valley Toyota dealers. This is Larry McFeely.

[Brady]

And if your New Year's resolution includes a Toyota Tacoma, Tundra, 4Runner, Corolla, Camry or Grand Highlander.

[John Holmberg]

Then you're in luck.

[Brady]

And here's the best part. Every new Toyota comes with Toyota care.

[John Holmberg]

That's no cost, maintenance and 24 hour.

[Brady]

Roadside assistance for two years or 25,000 miles.

[John Holmberg]

Peace of mind for the road ahead.

[Brady]

Exactly how you want to start a new year. Welcome 2026 in style.

[John Holmberg]

Visit your valleytoyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places. It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the SCHW Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean, really, maybe in 2026 you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten. I know. That was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly. Visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center, 480483 Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons. Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's the cold. It's the medicine. I'm on all sorts of it. I'm dizzy. Do not get this. Don't get too close to your speakers today because what I'm pumping out, it's awful. Glop makes me miss Covid. Covid was nothing compared to what I got going around in my chest. You know when you sneeze and you do that new Obama sneeze, everybody goes into their elbows. That happen. People used to sneeze. All you young folks don't remember. We used to just sneeze in our hands. And Obama came along and did that thing. You're like, yeah, that's better. That is the bet. I think that's the legacy of the Obama presidency. I'm not real sure what else he did, but that was gold. He invented that sneeze in your elbow thing. But now on my gray sweatshirt that I'm wearing today, I've thrown two in there and pulled away. Stuck to it for a second. Kind of had to rub it into the sweatshirt. Would have been horrible in my hands.

[Brady]

That's how the dab started.

[John Holmberg]

It is dabbing. Yeah, you dab it. That is the. And that caught on immediately. Like, why didn't we think of that? I remember that 30 Rock did that episode and Tina Face sneezed into her elbow and as she pulled her arm away, there was a wet silhouette of Obama's face. He invented it. I know people have been doing it, but he was one like you should probably all try this. It's disgusting to sneeze in your hands. It's been 17 years maybe max of us not sneezing into our hands anymore. I used to be encouraged cover your face and then you just rub them together on your jeans or something. It's gross. But don't get this. Whatever it is, if you start feeling sniffing iffy go to call on doc.com and get rid of it immediately. It is gross and it ain't normal. Like amounts of hangs around sickening and drags your ass down. I felt. I felt like junk since like Wednesday night Thursday. It's been awful. It is time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] almost had one right there. AllProchade.com will take care of you. They'll shade up that back patio you as we go through yet another week of 70 plus degrees watching the weather everywhere else suck, is it proof that we just live in the best place ever? It's perfect. Talking about 30 below zero and power outages. Like we don't have that. Don't tell those idiots. I like seasons. You can have them. This is a season I like the most. Most. It's perfect so you can sit out and try to Here we are talking about trying to find shade. Everybody else is trying to find like fire. This is awesome. All pro shade will take care of you and get that back patio looking fantastic. If you got a space that's got too much sun, too much glare and you want to sit in it but you just can't. All pro shade will design something beautiful. It'll actually beautify your home and add some property value because they make it look like it's supposed to be there. Not that it's just jammed on. Check it all [e-mail] Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Monday. Mark Monday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world. Happy National Peanut Brittle Day and National Spouse Day.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that your anniversary pickets? Yeah. No. I'm like what is that you get all the rest of the days you don't pay attention to?

[Brady]

Unlike Valentine's Day, this is a day created for giving time rather than gifts and celebrating your spouse.

[John Holmberg]

It's every day day supposed to do that all the time.

[Brady]

Couples are Encouraged to spend alone time and to reflect on their journey. So far.

[John Holmberg]

So it's also going to be divorced.

[Brady]

Scientific research has shown that 20 minutes of holding hands with your partner or cuddling can release hormones that leaves you both happier and feeling good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's nice. Don't tell everybody it's nice. They're going to make gifts out of this eventually. Women won't let this go. Well, you didn't give me anything for national spouse day. Oh, no, it's another one. Let's not propagate that, Brady. It's been canceled. By the way, I just got this. AP newsline just came. They've canceled national spouse day.

[Brady]

I'll give you some peanut brittle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's called your anniversary and valentine's day. You've got enough days. We're not getting anything out of this, so let's not get excited. Boys.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. Traditionally, it's been estimated that 1 inch of rain equals 10 inches of snow. That's known as the 10 to 1 snow ratio. But in reality could be anywhere from 6 to 1 to 18 to 1, depending on the atmospheric conditions.

[John Holmberg]

You know, who's never gonna have to worry about that. Yes, that's exactly right, Brady. We moved away from it for a reason. It's not human conditions.

[Brady]

There's some places around that we're feeling a little thunders. Thundersnow. Oh, it's where the thunder rumbles during the snowstorm. Other fun fact for snowflakes, they fall within the range of one to six feet per second.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Something else we won't have to worry about. More than 22 tons of salt are used on U. S. Roads each winter.

[John Holmberg]

Because it sucks. Snow sucks. If you had to wake up every morning and move piles of leaves just to go somewhere, somewhere, you'd be miserable. Snow shows up and it just blocks everything. We don't have to deal with it. We just. Again, everybody who's a little upset, just be happy you live here. It's a perfect day.

[Brady]

Sure you don't get a snow day. I know schools.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, that does kind of stink.

[Brady]

I mean, those were great.

[John Holmberg]

Those were great. You know, the best place I ever had snow days was when I lived in new mexico because they panicked at. I moved there from west virginia where it snows like piles of snow. And we moved it in christmas time, so go back to school in january. And it snowed like a tenth of an inch. It just threatened to snow a little. And the buses were spinning like nobody knew what to do. Like the kids can't go to school for like four days. We missed two days and it didn't even snow the second day.

[Brady]

Did you have snow days in West Virginia? Oh, we didn't have them in Montana.

[John Holmberg]

We had snow days and then they would like occasionally just say school starts at 10. Like they would tell you, you're not, don't get up yet. Let's just clear this out. And we'd trudge through it. I mean a foot. The only thing they didn't want you to do is walk around in a blizzard. And they didn't have a ton of that. But when I lived in northwest Indiana, we did.

[Brady]

Doordash. Got a little heat over the weekend. They posted a, a thing on ad basically talking about the ladies being snowed in. And it's a ladies it. If Saturday comes and you get snowed in with that man, there's nothing we can deliver to help. Please be choosy.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, are you saying like if you have a one night stand before a massive.

[Brady]

The snowstorm came in. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you can't get out. This is a horror warning.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

For doordash, an Amber alert for horror.

[Brady]

Basically an alert that says you shouldn't invite him to your house. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

If you're a dude, you'd find a way home. You'd go Jack London on that and then go to sled dogs and stuff to get me out of this house. I don't know what would over like, what would be more powerful, that feeling of wanting to leave when you've, you know, finished up on a girl and you're like, oh, I don't like her and I gotta get out of here. Or like the weather stopped stopping you because that is a powerful feeling to want to be way for. No, I'm getting, I'm going right through that snow. I will walk.

[Brady]

There's nothing. Yeah, I, yeah, you could walk.

[John Holmberg]

She'd stay. That would be worse. If she's at your house, you got problems, but never let them know where you live. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

There's a meteorologist, Lacey Swope. She does a weather at News 9 in Oklahoma City and she was a little too vague with a request for viewers to send in snow measurements. On Saturday she posted on Facebook to ask people to send us your measurements. Oh, she got measurements.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I bet dudes.

[Brady]

Most of the replies were men that range between three and seven.

[John Holmberg]

Three inch guys chimed in. Those guys, why are they doing that? Three inchers decided the weather ladies talking about me.

[Brady]

One guy joked it was too cold for an accurate measurement.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I mean, it would be a funny picture to go out in the snow and measure it.

[Brady]

Women got in on it, too. Sending in their measurements.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sean Rockefeller just text. He's in Dayton, Ohio. He lives there. And he goes 18 inches. Because I gotta move back to Phoenix immediately. I hate this. It sucks. He's blind. He doesn't even get the beautiful parts of snow. He just gets the cold, wet. Gross. Everything's in the way.

[Brady]

We have a Florida. 18 year old in Florida is behind bars. She got into a fight with her mother. Her name is Farrah Kernan. And she was arrested for battery following a disturbance. She went home. She's talking with her mom. Evidently, they got into an argument. Argument. And she threw a pork chop at her mom. And it landed. Landed.

[John Holmberg]

She landed. Faced her.

[Brady]

Faced her. She called the police. The police came in and the girl had been drinking earlier that day. That's what triggered things.

[John Holmberg]

It's white trash, but it could also go a different direction. What's her name?

[Brady]

Farah Kernan.

[John Holmberg]

That's a white girl name. It is a white girl named. But. Work jobs. Where's it at again?

[Brady]

It's in Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, of course it is.

[Brady]

White girl.

[John Holmberg]

You Googling her?

[Brady]

No. Should I?

[John Holmberg]

Farah Kernan. Picture.

[Brady]

There is a little picture. Yeah, it's from.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to go with a bigger one. I think I'm going to go trailer trash. I'm going to go with a black girl on this. Really? Yeah. I think I'm. I think I'm.

[Brady]

Smacked her mom in the face and then threw her pork chop.

[John Holmberg]

He took a swing first. There's no black kids swinging at their mom. You make a good point there. That would be the story about a dead kid named Farrah Kernan. And maybe I switch it. I'll go white trash, too. All right.

[Brady]

Jensen Beach. Yeah. She kind of looks like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's pure.

[Brady]

Like Reagan from the Exorcist. Linda Blair.

[John Holmberg]

Not Ronald. Yeah. All right. You're right. Yeah. You can't. No black kids, Max. That's not. That story isn't about a pork chop. After that.

[Brady]

The folks in Rhode island are a little upset because Hasbro, their headquarters, have been there for years. And now they're moving their headquarters to Boston. The problem is, is they in 2002, wrote on and rolled out the Mr. Potato Head license plate.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

And it was 40 bucks to get the plate.

[John Holmberg]

It's the home of.

[Brady]

But the money would go to the Rhode Island Food Bank. Community Food Bank.

[John Holmberg]

But isn't that the home of Mr. Potato. He was inventing Hasbro headquarters.

[Brady]

Yep. And so now it's moving to Boston.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I don't get it.

[Brady]

That means that the money from the license plate still can't go to the kids. Either way, they don't want you to buy the Mr. Potato Head.

[John Holmberg]

He left. He left them. There's a divorce. It's a potato divorce.

[Brady]

But that does take a lot of money out of. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know. Come up with something else.

[Brady]

Yeah. If Mr. Go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say Mr. Potato Head is the only thing keeping your orphans going. Come up with a new plan. Anyway. That wasn't gonna last that long. Long?

[Brady]

How many years you've been saying orphans are always there.

[John Holmberg]

Orphans aren't going anywhere.

[Brady]

They're not going anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

So you got to come up with a new plan. Yeah. If people weren't donating until they got Mr. Potato Head license plates. Trouble from that was a spike to begin with. Yeah.

[Brady]

You can recover that food bank money.

[John Holmberg]

You'll figure it out. How about just charge more for regular license plates.

[Brady]

I guess. Tomorrow Subway is giving middle seat travelers 20 gift cards for one day. You have to take a picture of yourself in the.

[John Holmberg]

In the seat and then dump it.

[Brady]

On and then send it to the Subway website.

[John Holmberg]

Clever.

[Brady]

And you'll get a 20 gift card. Subway Middle Seat.com is where you send it.

[John Holmberg]

If you're on one of those canceled flights sitting in the middle, go get a shot. You know what I could do? I go up to the tactical black thing. They got that fake plane up there. And just plop down in that middle seat and get myself a delightful free sub.

[Brady]

The deal lands on the same day, which is 27th, as Southwest Airlines is ending its open seat policy.

[John Holmberg]

Ah. They're assigning them. That's gonna be interesting. Yeah. I don't know if that's better or worse. Worse. I haven't flown on Southwest for a little bit, but last time I was there, I was number one, so it didn't bother me. But if I was in the back. Aren't they charging for baggage now, too, or something?

[Brady]

I don't think they're charging for baggage, but they are making you pick a seat.

[John Holmberg]

I'm okay with that if I'm not first because being. Well, we were first in line. It's pretty awesome. I was always first.

[Brady]

People with kids go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

You pay extra.

[Brady]

People with veterans, you pay extra to go first ahead of you.

[John Holmberg]

Pre boarding, never. And they never took good seats. There's always something good available. Okay. You get to be, like, 40th now you're in trouble. Oh yeah. B group.

[Brady]

C group. Yeah. You went out of your way in the days just so you could sit facing the other people too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like being in that. Just stare at the folks across from me the whole flight.

[Brady]

So what do you do?

[John Holmberg]

No talking. It's brutal. No talking, staring.

[Brady]

Was that the days when you. When you had your DVD player of porn?

[John Holmberg]

I used to do that. Sit in the center seat. When I would fly, I would sit in the center seat. I'd be first on and I'd sit in the center seat and crack open the DVD player, just put porn on it and sit and watch. And no one would sit next to me. It was phenomenal. Except for the one time that lady with her kid plopped down and I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. Do you not see like what's there? Here I am. I'm the only guy that takes the middle school seat. I used to get first class. I did that to that lady in Chicago. I got the first class seat and she sat next to me. And that was my favorite stare moment. When she turns, she goes, so you heading home? And I just turned my head and I looked at her, didn't say anything. And she made like a little weird and then stopped talking to me. It's perfect.

[Brady]

John, this might put you in on getting a pair of Crocs.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Brady]

There's some Crocs featured at Paris Fashion Week. They'll run you 150 bucks a pair. They did a collab with Legos.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady]

They're brick shaped. They're not the gibbets. They're celebrating the Lego. They're not the what? The. The gibbets where you'd put like the Lego thing.

[John Holmberg]

We would have to fire Brady.

[Brady]

There's. There's what?

[John Holmberg]

Gibbit. I thought for sure Jibbit are.

[Brady]

Have you never heard the Jibit?

[John Holmberg]

No. Cuz we're adult men. Tell me. Like I should know. Yeah, that's not. That's an elderly man around for years. That's right.

[Brady]

I thought you were the one that turned.

[John Holmberg]

What? Stop it.

[Brady]

How dare you.

[John Holmberg]

And this is a. This is the annual reminder that you need to say thank you to me for stopping you from being a Crocs guy because your elderly father wore the. Dad talks about how comfortable they are.

[Brady]

He had the camo crocs.

[John Holmberg]

You, my friend with the fleece. We were at Scottdale Fashion Square and this jackass goes to that center sec. These are sweet. I'm like Stop it. My dad says they're comfortable. You can't talk me out of it. You look like a. You're walking away from this. No, he thought about it and then he got cocky and he bought slides. These are Crocs. Like he needed to be a dick about it for a second. But I stopped you from getting into those. So wait, is Jibbit like that's what elderly people.

[Brady]

Nike dunks. Is it like. No, they're the little pins that you put Bedazzle.

[John Holmberg]

Basically. Crocs. Earrings. Earrings. And he was excited about that for a little bit.

[Brady]

Fleecing you for money for.

[John Holmberg]

For a little while.

[Brady]

Kids go through Crocs.

[John Holmberg]

You were trying to be.

[Brady]

Kirby had some crocs.

[John Holmberg]

You were trying to be elderly for about an eight year span there he had wagons with wood on the side of them. And like you were doing a lot of old man things. And then I stopped you from that. I'm good. Where were you when he bought the Outback? You should have been there for that. I didn't know him that well then. I just was. I was there to ridicule it after. See, this is what I'm talking about.

[Brady]

Did you ferry Kirby around in one of those wooden wagons?

[John Holmberg]

He didn't have the wood on the side of the wagon then you liked them.

[Brady]

No, I had the. Oh, you had fold out one. Pull out these beautiful crocs he had. They've outdone themselves on this one.

[John Holmberg]

He was gonna buy those Swiss cheese shoes right in front of me. And you were a young. You know, you were a decent human.

[Brady]

Oh, this was years ago.

[John Holmberg]

This was a long time ago when.

[Brady]

They first came out. And it was. Wasn't even close.

[John Holmberg]

It was close. You were arguing with me. I had to stop you.

[Brady]

I had to stop. My dad had.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And what my argument was.

[Brady]

So let's check out the.

[John Holmberg]

Your dad is 70 something. These are shoes for 7 year olds. Do not quit yet. These are sweet. Like nobody else is going to say that. And that was when you were single and not. You didn't have a lot of prospects.

[Brady]

Oh my God, Brady. And look at that French twink.

[John Holmberg]

You're an idiot. Those are the Legos.

[Brady]

So hideous.

[John Holmberg]

All right. No, just turn it off. There's no reason.

[Brady]

Hey, guy in his Crocs.

[John Holmberg]

He likes the Crocs.

[Brady]

There they are.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's always been into the Crocs. Oh my God. Just turn it. Turn it off. Turn it off. Four day work week.

[Brady]

But wait, there's more. I've got two more pred. Videos. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, this throat. You gonna do them or not? Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Ready?

[John Holmberg]

We need your. We don't know what you. First one's just staring at the ground, blowing up.

[Brady]

It's a blow. It's a blow up.

[John Holmberg]

We're in a. Oh, this is a dude exploding. So.

[Brady]

Yeah. Goes off.

[John Holmberg]

He steps on a mine or something.

[Brady]

Disarming something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's standing on a mine. His camera.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

And his buddy leg shoots there. Or I think he's standing on a dead body already.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, there's a lot of explos. This is kamas running. Are we in Hamas land or is that.

[Brady]

Or Ukraine? One of the two.

[John Holmberg]

Man, that dude just blows up 50ft.

[Brady]

In the dark sensitive web. That's another algorithm punch for you.

[John Holmberg]

You're on the dark web again. All I have is hot girls trying to show me their snooches. This dude's got every dirty Middle Eastern or nasty war video. And then Instagram, man. Yeah. No, it's you. I've never seen the videos. They're not on mine. Sometimes Brett and I'll share, like. Oh, I saw that. You never.

[Brady]

It only takes one, bro. No, his algorithm and I've been trying.

[John Holmberg]

It does not only take one to get as many breastfeeding cripples as you get. I've never seen anything like it.

[Brady]

Oh, if there was a breastfeeding.

[John Holmberg]

If you could combo a milky cripple man. Milky Triple. Good band name.

[Brady]

Little four wheel. We might have done this one before, but I.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Not sure, but.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, dude just runs over. Yeah, well, because he jumped onto the.

[Brady]

Track and he recovers. And here comes.

[John Holmberg]

Here comes another one's gonna run him over. Here comes another. Oh, drag that dude out of the mud. Why did you leave the crowd?

[Brady]

Isn't that the line they're supposed to take, too?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, there's a stuffed sheep, so you got to go around it. And then just slipped in. Well, no, he's wandering. You don't. Don't lean that far. There's a fence.

[Brady]

He drinking beer.

[John Holmberg]

Hillbillies. What do you. Hillbillies. That is not the first time he's been hit by an off road vehicle, by the way.

[Brady]

So this morning you're defending crocs and hillbillies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to do? It's muddy out there.

[Brady]

There.

[John Holmberg]

That does look kind of fun. Except for the getting run over part.

[Brady]

Would you do that? Mud? Mud box.

[John Holmberg]

I would love to do that. Have to call KO Real quick, though, because that's messy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brady]

All right, I don't know if we've.

[John Holmberg]

Done this one before, but we'll give it a shot. That's a quick one. So we need cameras in the room for when Brady says jibbitz again so we can just get a shot. Brett's of face. I think we all made the face like, that's a. Is that a slur? What's a gibbet? That sounded bad.

[Brady]

Brett was like, oh, where are my gibbets?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know what race that offends, but one of them's like, hey, we don't use that word. All right, Brett, what do you got? Oh, geez. He's a. A black guy is banging a girl, and she's bald and she's up against a window, and he puts a plunger on her head because she doesn't have a ponytail. He's got to pull something. Something. That's brilliant. I love the sound. She doesn't have any hair to pull, so we made a plunger.

[Brady]

Found piss ball.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's great. All right, here we go.

[Brady]

What the.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a dude in his room with multiple screens doing porn. He's deep throating a eight or nine inch dildo, and he's tugging, and he's in a game. He's not done yet? No, he's not done. What? Oh, he's going on another one. He's getting that one all the way down. This dude's dad. Debatable. That's a 10 inch or he took. He just. Wow. What's he.

[Brady]

What's his champions Building.

[John Holmberg]

He's got. His desk says building Champions. This dude is great at it. And he's watching porn on all three screens. Deep Throat videos. And then he's practicing AirPods in. Look at that. Goes right to the other one on his desk and takes the whole thing. Wow, man. Oh, man. Thanks for that one, Brad. I'll just go to this one. A dude could do that. Leave it to a guy to do it better. There's a girl putting flour on her butt. She's got baby powder on her butt. She's going to fart and make. Make. All right, that's dumb. It's still funny. I can't stop. From a child. And then we'll just end with this. Here's some eye video for you. Oh, no, I can't do this. Oh, it's Asians popping. Asians are eating too. Oh, you see? Okay. Blurred vision solution number one. Oh, geez. That Guy is finishing some girls wide open eyes. She's just getting. And they just pushed it into the other eye. Just leaned it in there. Her eyes are filled. It's a reservoir of mango. Oh, my God. She seems fine. And you know what really is bad about that right there. Brett, clear the screen. Not clear. Just give me just the screen without the thing. Look how the. The. The semen makes you realize that her teeth are yellow. Oh, wow. Like, it really is a. As a color contrast.

[Brady]

She's a smoker.

[John Holmberg]

That made you realize, like without that, it might have looked okay, but with all that white in her eyes, it made her teeth look worse. That's all. She shouldn't want that on her face because it really makes her realize that she's got a many bleaching options.

[Brady]

Trimmed her nose.

[John Holmberg]

Crust strips. Yeah. She have nose hairs too?

[Brady]

No, she trimmed them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Yeah. Interesting. That's the cure for blurred vision.

[Brady]

That'll whiten those teeth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you gotta get that on there. Just leave them on a strip. There you go. That's your Brady report. What a treat. It's 98 KUPD.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Hey, it's Larry McFeely.

[Brady]

And what better way to kick off the new year than with a brand new Toyota from your Valley Toyota dealers. New year, new goals, new adventures, and a new Toyota is the perfect way to get you there. Whether you're tackling your commute, heading out.

[John Holmberg]

On weekend road trips, or just wanting.

[Brady]

Something more reliable for the year ahead. Toyota has the model to fit your lifestyle. So make this the year you drive smarter, safer, and happier.

[John Holmberg]

Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or. Or valleytoyotadeealers.com Toyota let's go places. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else. Well, first of all, we've been in the valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies, so that we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting. Getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. All right, everybody, there's a cruising through a Monday. Let's get through this as fast as we can. Just blew my nose for about a minute and a half. It was a. Wow. The spigot. Do not catch this. I don't know where it's coming from. I don't think my body's this big to house this much goo, but it's got it in there. I'm. I am a. I am more goo than man Toledo. People are asking like, crazy about your trip off to Santa Clara as a Seahawks fan. And off the air, we've been listening to you say, just can't do it. It's too. Too costly. You're not going to sell plasma or do anything like that to try to get up there to Santa Clara. You're not going to go watch your Seahawks in San Francisco's stadium. Try and hoist that Lombardo.

[Brady]

No. Because first off, it's going to be a solo trip as it is right now. And my Seahawk buddies, no one will go with you about going leases right out.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady]

Because of the cost.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's too much. Yeah. All right.

[Brady]

And. Well. And this is the year she turns five. Zero. So. So we have to save up.

[John Holmberg]

You can't take her to her super bowl for her birthday.

[Brady]

Can't do that. I thought about it. I thought about presenting it to her.

[John Holmberg]

And just saying, hey, happy birthday.

[Brady]

But you like San Francisco. You really?

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's not. You're nowhere near it. No, I know. An hour away. Yeah.

[Brady]

Can't you get Craig ask at you? How about hitting up Adam Ray? Because he's sitting there hanging out in a suite with Big Dumper.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is he up there with. Oh, man.

[Brady]

That's his new buddy. Now they. Hang on. Do it. Everything.

[John Holmberg]

I was talking with Adam when he was here over the holidays, and he's like, hey, bro, I'm friends with Cam Hayward. If you want to be buddies with him. I'm like, yes, I do want to be friends with him. Like, why would you ask? Let's just. Let's go. Hey, I'll tell them. And then, so, yeah, I text him. I. There was a, like, Steelers game that day, and I text Adam. I'm like, ask him if I should wear a TJ Watt or his jersey. He says, you should wear his jersey, bro. Who else would he say? I'm already in my TJ Wat. I'm sorry. I can't take it up. Once he said that the wrong thing, but it was. Yeah, it's remarkable. Like being friends. He's friends with all of them. He's friends with everybody. Yeah, that's pretty cool. So you're not going. You've got a couple connects. Your boy, you and the boy. Don't go.

[Brady]

He is funny because he. He did look at me at the end of the game last night as we're high fiving and. And I looked at Lisa and I said, so we're going to Santa Clara.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The new girl's coming in. We're all kind of curious who's attacking the door. All right, get it out of your system now, boys. The second she walks through the door, nobody's allowed to do what you guys just did, which is plaster your faces glass. We got a new girl starting. All right, calm it down. Anyway, so. To which I said, whatever the cost is. Toledo. A real fan wouldn't balk at that.

[Brady]

Because I knew you were going to give me crap either way.

[John Holmberg]

Hoist that lumbar. You bought World Series tickets before they were even in it. And now you won't even buy super bowl tickets. And they're actually in there.

[Brady]

And this is the one you're going to dominate to hold. Cost was like one tenth of what the super bowl tickets were.

[John Holmberg]

Walk in the park and then you're going to hoist the Lombardi on the 49ers field.

[Brady]

And it was an easy drive away.

[John Holmberg]

The World Series would have been. Only way you'd get me to go to Baltimore is if the Steelers won the super bowl in it. Ah, you.

[Brady]

You'd go to the super bowl in Baltimore.

[John Holmberg]

Baltimore. If I knew the Steelers had as easy a road as your team's got right now.

[Brady]

Oh, stop it.

[John Holmberg]

14, 15 point win minimum.

[Brady]

Here we go. Reach out to Adam. Reach out to Gary.

[Christy]

Gas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I. I'd be going selling cars.

[Brady]

Gas was conspicuously quiet yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

He texted me this morning.

[Brady]

Did he? Was he on the sidelines? Cuz I was texting him. Trying to see how he.

[John Holmberg]

How he's feeling probably. I didn't ask him that. Just back and forth with a couple things. But congratulations to those teams in the Super Bowl. Good for you.

[Brady]

I give all credit to you. You hired me in 2005.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brady]

We went to the super bowl that year. Well, 2006, but. 2000. 2005 season.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yes.

[Brady]

We've been to the Super bowl four times. All because I've been on this show.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Each 10 year anniversary of your employment, they go to the Super Bowl.

[Brady]

Pretty much, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's one in between There. Yeah.

[Brady]

A little off, but. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You got two Super Bowls. Three. Three visits, two wins.

[Brady]

No, one win, three visits.

[John Holmberg]

This is one once.

[Brady]

This is the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

We only beat the. The Broncos. Creamed them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Brady]

We beat you the next year. We lost to the Patriots on the should have run, Marshawn lynch, but.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

This is the fourth trip all on, all since.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, you're welcome.

[Brady]

Yeah. Alex was negative two weeks old when they went the first time in Detroit.

[John Holmberg]

You took a risk there because you weren't supposed to leave the screamy Mimi back home a week to go. She was not happy with you.

[Brady]

We both had to get. Get away from each other because she was not. Everybody needs a little time away.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Chicago play. Yeah. And then. And you had to run away from her. All right, well, good. You're gonna do it again. You're gonna leave this one behind for her 50th birthday. I have to. All right. What'd she get you for your 50th.

[Brady]

Birthday party with friends.

[John Holmberg]

Something she wanted to do.

[Brady]

Well, let me ask you this. If it was her championship team.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And it was your 50th birthday. She's a woman, Brady. She got. I know, but if she did, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, and she got you tickets and.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if she wanted to go. Oh, even though it was your 50th birthday. Use this. You say go to that championship. That only happens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If the packers are in the Super Bowl. The Matthiah wants to go. Are you going with her to. To watch the Pack?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's different. Because he's got a different team. If. If she watches the games with you and wears the jersey. She doesn't. Oh, never mind. No, she doesn't. She doesn't pretend. Yeah. You can't do that. But you can.

[Brady]

She tries to play like she's a Cardinal fan, and I'm like, they've never given you any joy.

[John Holmberg]

She just likes wearing red for it. Yes. Some sort of commie Cardinal fan. All right, well, if you go, I'd be proud. I'd go alone. I don't do anything alone. I get scared of all that, but.

[Brady]

Oh, I. I don't mind doing things alone. We should do it terrified of Chicago.

[John Holmberg]

She wouldn't go. She wouldn't go. No, she absolutely would not go. You'd go to. Well, you don't care. You'd go to a Packers Super Bowl. If Ronnie was suddenly, like, pretending to be a super fan even though she's a Packer.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm going.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Says, ask Tripp. Can't Toledo just show up with a camera and a mic in the KUPD truck and one of those things on the microphone that says kupd and say you're part of the media?

[John Holmberg]

Can't do it.

[Brady]

Can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta do that early. We got our press passes when the Cardinals went because they gave it to local radio. Anyway, well, good luck to you, Richard. Watching from. Well, we're gonna have a Super bowl party after all, I think up at Desert Ridge. Yeah. Because they started getting these prizes that were too good to ignore.

[Brady]

Okay, good.

[John Holmberg]

So we're like, I told him, I said, if you don't have great prizes, we're not doing it. They're loading up, like, loads of money and stuff. So keep your ears open for that one. That could be pretty fun because I think we. Instead of a Super bowl that we care about, I think you're watching Toledo and booing. All those Toledo haters can show up in Patriots gear and boo. Richard will put him up on the stake. Yeah. Anyway, we got our Guadalupe replay from Friday. And that's when geography Grady got involved. We're not sure why the guy called him Grady, but it was just Grady's black geography teacher named Grady. He was there. And then Darth Vader for the Death Star Comedy Jam. We did a lot of fun stuff on Friday. Let's get right to it at your Guadalupe replay here on a Monday.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Before we get to what would Brady do? We're all in a quandary over here because John Cougar Mellencamp is playing live right now at the Indiana campus for the championship. Your Indiana Hoosiers national champions. And Brady just brought it up. Up and got us laughing like, I'm sure the college kids love that. They're Nothing better than 50 year old hits being played.

[Brady]

He's a staple at IU still.

[John Holmberg]

He's a staple all you want. Kids are still looking at like, what the hell is this? And he's like 90. And so they got him rolling out there. And then I started laughing like, if ASU won a national championship, we'd still drag out Alice Cooper. It's brutal.

[Brady]

I think they would go. Whoever is left in the Gin Blossoms.

[John Holmberg]

They got the Dirks. Bentley is the only other one that maybe baby as Long as they don't have a state fair gig to play somewhere. Yeah, that's. I didn't even think of that. We started laughing like, ah, they still roll out melon head little pink houses. And those kids are like, this was 1984. Play Jack and Diane.

[Brady]

Jordan Sparks.

[John Holmberg]

She's 25 years.

[Brady]

Celebration.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now we gotta get something. One of these bands has to get going. This Palladio thing's got to take off one of these days and get one of these bands going because this is embarrassing. Somebody local. Do something, please. So Glenn Campbell and Alice Cooper can stop being the two biggest ones. One of them's dead and the other one is Glenn Campbell. All right, let's get right to it. Brady's got to solve the problem. Got an interesting approach to this today, Brady. It's a. I don't know that in the whole time we've done your moral cleansing of the valley, anyone's ever asked what this guy asked. And I kind of like it. I kind of like the direction he took. What would Brady do's? Brought to you by MMP Guns. MMP Guns has Arizona's largest inventory of firearms. Hold on.

[Brady]

Much better.

[John Holmberg]

I got a good one in there. Largest inventory of firearms. Prices and service. That is hard to beat. MMP Guns and my snotbox won't stop. This sucks. All right, do you want to start with the weird one? Sure. That's the guy named Nathan. He calls himself Nathan the miserable Giant, says Holmberg. For what would Brady do? Let me give all this free advice to every man listening. Never ever get married. It no longer benefits me. Men, we're expected to support, protect, and play all the traditional roles. I want my wife to do a couple like cook and clean and nurture and please me. Those are female roles. But nope, I got hit with divorce papers because this non working for the last 11 years, two kids never worked on her body. Had a nanny and a maid the whole time. Lazy ass loser is now saying I need to pay her 15 grand a month to keep up her lifestyle style that she's become accustomed to. Let me tell you, it's not from her hard work. She's also making claims that I hit the kids once and her lawyers trying to make it so I never get to see them. Brady, I'm asking you this. This is where it takes the turn. I want to give you $300,000 to hold for me. Just do me a solid. Say I owed it to you as a friendly loan. If anyone asks, you can't spend, but you can Invest it and keep the extra. I just want 300,000 back when it all settles. I'm trying to hide some money for myself so I don't get killed. Nathan the Miserable Giant, will you hold 300 grand for Nathan the Giant? Think about it. I will not buy gold.

[Brady]

What if, if it's illegal, which, I don't know, it doesn't sound like. Yeah, I'm not taking that check pants El Chapo.

[John Holmberg]

Why not? Nathan the Miserable Giant, Brad and I will gladly help you out. Get a nice investment in on that thing. Good thing he's putting it out. Over a hundred thousand watts of air waves. Nathan the Miserable Giants had it. I watched a guy go nuts on the Internet talking about that too. Screaming about how his, his wife didn't. She wanted him to be everything a man used to be. And she was never going to work. And he's like, if you flip these roles. And I said, I'm never going to work. And she was providing for everything. And then I made her pay. I'd be considered a deadbeat. How did they get away with this? That's what Nathan the Miserable Giant saying.

[Brady]

I saw Michael Jackson's. Michael Jackson's. Michael Jordan's. You know, he's been married for what, 15 years now with the second wife, I guess. So the, the deal that he had because he didn't have a prenup with Juanita, he paid her. He cut her a check for 168 million at the time when that happened, it was like one of the most expensive.

[John Holmberg]

He got clobbered.

[Brady]

All right, so the new wife of 15 years gets a million a year that they're together and 5 million every five years if so they went on 15 years. So she's got 15 million plus another 15.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good.

[Brady]

Yeah. So if they were to end it.

[John Holmberg]

That day, she gets a nice chunk of change.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She got Bobby Bonilla's agent or what? She's got to have an agent for that kind of stuff. And I would never want somebody that's negotiating the out costs. That's called dead cap. You don't want to sit there and find out what it, what would is going to hit me on the dead cap space. That's crazy. So you will not hold his money for him?

[Brady]

No, I don't think so. I, I, you know, find a, another family member or whatever, because I really don't, I don't know you enough. And then makes it even easier sometimes. It could, but I think it's illegal.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm not gonna I don't know if it's illegal. If the guy wants to give you 300 grand to invest and you say it was loaned.

[Brady]

Maybe not. Maybe I could.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what he's saying.

[Brady]

Could be.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like he's got.

[Brady]

But I know too much about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's got a ton of money.

[Brady]

You're better off approaching someone said, hey, I want to. Could you do this? Don't say why you're doing it.

[John Holmberg]

I guess I don't know. But then they would give 300, 000 for me. You'd be all right with it if you didn't know the details? I think I'd know that. I want to ask him, why are you giving me this?

[Brady]

Yeah. Because you couldn't. You're just holding it and it's doing nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can do this. He can hire you, you as a consultant for wanting to do his new podcast. And he's like, I'll give you 300. He's overpaying you. It's crazy what he's doing. He's overpaying you $300,000.

[Brady]

What if you sell him something for $300,000?

[John Holmberg]

Well, then you got to deal with taxes and papers and things like that. If he's just. And then you do that with an employment thing too, but that's on the up and up. He hires you, gives you that money. You. You stock it up. And that one dude in Vegas that tried to hire me wanted to pay me in cash, and he was offering me 250 grand in a bag so we didn't have to deal with anything. And I. I did the same as you're saying. I ran away because it felt like mob money.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I felt like I was into him too much. He had a bag of money he was going to give me. You're kind of right, though.

[Brady]

Invested.

[John Holmberg]

You invested in gold. It's going to go over $5,000.

[Brady]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Right now it's 5,100. It's scary because there's definitely going to be be a dip. You throw 300 grand into the gold right now, and it goes up to six. You just. You walked away with Brady. Think about this. Here's another one. These are good ones. Today it says, dear Brady, I want to start a mild drug habit. A little one. Moderate. I'm 45 years old and I've been a square my entire life, and I want to take some chances. I just got divorced. Missionary, sex, and absolutely safe. Everything is gone for me. It's time for me to take a Break from this life. Suggestions? Besides weed, please, to get me going. What would you do if you were to start a mild drug habit? Signed, New Ronald. These people are awesome.

[Brady]

So excluding weed.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, don't want to do weed, only wants to smoke.

[Brady]

That's probably about the only one I would. Gummies go down.

[John Holmberg]

Gummies are good to smoke. You can do the gummy weeds and then.

[Brady]

Yeah, I mean, highly recommend by that.

[John Holmberg]

Mushrooms, Adderall. All Eddie Daddy's fun. If you want to start a mile.

[Brady]

I don't know. There's properties on that. On that side, shroom's not so much. I don't think shrooms can get you.

[John Holmberg]

Shrooms are fun. I haven't done crazy shrooms. Micro dosing. That's pretty fun.

[Brady]

Pretty. You know, the only thing I'd entertain is, like, to help sleep or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Is the weed side.

[John Holmberg]

See, I'd say stay away from murder. First row, the mess, the heroin, the coke. Those go a different direction. That's it. Hey, there's Christy from the zoo. Come on in.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Christy from the zoo's here. Hop on over there. If you were to start a mild drug habit, Christy, what would you start? Christy? Christy Morecom. Hayden. Christy Hayden from the zoo. Huh? Just get on the mic. Something. It would make you skinnier. So coke. You'd go right to the coke or the Adderall. Okay, well, that's not a mild drive drug habit, Christy. That's pretty major. Whoa. She almost rolled off the chair. A mild drug habit is. Yeah. Like mushrooms every time. Weed would be fine.

[Christy]

I would never do weed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Me. See a lot.

[Christy]

I would just make me larger. I'd eat all the time.

[John Holmberg]

I think it would be.

[Brady]

Well, there's other. You can get the strands. That won't happen. It's all. Yeah, I heard there's stuff that's.

[John Holmberg]

You know, there's the actual activa. Ask Jen Gardner. She. She knows she's not huge cocaine. She balances.

[Christy]

Adderall's mild. And you're done.

[John Holmberg]

See, there you go. I think we all agree for a new Ronald, that Adderall, was that the.

[Brady]

One that Jay Moore was grinding up and doing?

[John Holmberg]

All right, calm down. You always have the worst case scenario.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

If he keeps it in moderation.

[Brady]

I don't want to do anything. Like with the addictive property you. Because then you.

[John Holmberg]

Then you better lay off the food.

[Brady]

There's my drug.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Right.

[Brady]

I don't need another drug in my life.

[John Holmberg]

That's what Christy's saying. She's trying to take the ones that make it so it all tumbles off.

[Christy]

Especially something. If I'm going to get addicted, I need to make sure it has those.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. At least I'm having a good time. Yeah. Hey, if. If the zoo had one of them mutant two headed animals. You just slaughter it that day, right?

[Brady]

We were talking about that. You know like San Diego Zoo at one time and you might. Did you guys ever have a two headed snake?

[Christy]

No.

[Brady]

No.

[Christy]

I'd want to keep it.

[John Holmberg]

You'd want to keep it for yourself.

[Brady]

But what about like if it was a of bunch? Bison?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, two headed bison comes out. You guys gotta hack that up right away.

[Christy]

I mean if it's gonna live, it's healthy.

[Brady]

You'd have it there.

[Christy]

If it's dying, that's selling some tickets there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but then you got Mutant Farm. That's not a zoo.

[Brady]

Well, you gotta keep it alive. I'd keep it alive. I think it's a roadside attraction.

[John Holmberg]

Like a thing down there. You don't need to look. Dr. Moreau. Keep your zoo classy. Just checking in on your.

[Christy]

I guess it depended on what kind of two headed animal it was.

[John Holmberg]

Because I think Simon Jimmy's. What do they call them? Conjoined twins.

[Brady]

Yeah, because they would go, you know, around the the world traveling in the people.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, I said have kids like one set.

[Brady]

Had both of them. Married two different women.

[Christy]

Tlc.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's a bunch of those shows and they need to be. I mean I. I want a law that says they can only date each other because you're a freak if you want to bang one of those. Am I wrong?

[Christy]

I. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Could you ever fall in love with a Siamese twin?

[Brady]

I don't think. I don't think anyone in here could.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody could. Cuz we're not freaks. So it should be illegal. It's protecting the twins is what I'm doing. People think I'm being mean to them, but I'm actually protecting them because of the people from some pervert that's trying to four hole them.

[Brady]

He thinks they're perverts.

[John Holmberg]

That you are a pervert. If you're banging siamese twins, there's something wrong with you. They should only. They should only be allowed together.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

There's a dude that's banging him.

[Brady]

Two different. Right?

[John Holmberg]

No, just. Well no. There were two. Yeah, they're both freaks. Who's with you? Didn't come in for this. One's prettier than the other. Look. And that's what we said. This morning. Like in the animal kingdom they get wasted immediately because.

[Brady]

Oh yeah. So it started with the manatees.

[John Holmberg]

No, it didn't. That was gay.

[Brady]

I know, but we're talking about in the animal kingdom. You're saying you think there's an agenda right now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. But I don't. I don't care about right now. Bray brought up the two headed eagle. And a mother eagle that had a two headed eagle would kill it immediately.

[Brady]

Probably See kicked it out of the nest. Actually the sibling would.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter.

[Brady]

But if it was stronger than the.

[John Holmberg]

Sibling, it wouldn't be.

[Brady]

You're gonna have then more two headed eagles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's Greek mythology. He's such a moron.

[Brady]

No, the strongest survives wouldn't be strong.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know. I do know.

[Brady]

Oh. Where have you seen a two headed.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. It's been eaten every time. Time. Jesus. Christmas. Can we have a regular adult conversation?

[Brady]

If there was a two headed eagle, it'd be.

[John Holmberg]

It would be dead super strong within minutes. Okay.

[Brady]

Super smart.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks for coming, Chris. It's been nice to you.

[Christy]

Thanks for having me.

[John Holmberg]

Are you here to do commercials?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

And she brought a critter.

[Christy]

I did bring a critter.

[John Holmberg]

Where?

[Brady]

It's in the room right now. Close the door.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a little tiny. Is it going to fly?

[Christy]

Jump. They're actually one of the best jumpers in the animal kingdom.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's get right to that. That's enough of what would Brady do? Let's break open the bag of animal. What's in there.

[Christy]

So this thing's Totes and Dorbs, favorite little creatures ever. This is little Theodore. Now Theodore might start jumping.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I love him.

[Christy]

The one thing with Theodore will want to keep the door shut.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Christy]

And you can't walk around or move your chair because he's all over the place. And you see.

[John Holmberg]

Not gonna move. Look at him go. What is that? What is that?

[Christy]

Little lesser bush baby.

[John Holmberg]

So this is a primary pictures of this. Okay. That's a primate bush baby from the. From your zoo.

[Brady]

Nocturnal.

[Christy]

Find these guys in Africa. Yeah. And you can tell this is a nocturnal animal. I mean their eyes.

[John Holmberg]

Look at him go.

[Brady]

Oh, he's fast. He's fast.

[John Holmberg]

Can you throw him to me? Oh my gosh. He's so cool. And he's just. He's like what, maybe a half a pound?

[Christy]

Yeah. Being a lesser bush baby. He is almost full grown. They're really tiny.

[Brady]

That's amazing.

[Christy]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

That's almost full grown.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he's like half a pound.

[Christy]

Yep. He's a little under a year old, but he's not gonna get too much bigger.

[John Holmberg]

And at the zoo, he's where, like, you can't let him run wild.

[Christy]

He's being raised behind the scenes. We're trying to find Theo a little girlfriend.

[John Holmberg]

Weirdos. Why?

[Christy]

That way, we can start a breeding program. Have you ever been to.

[John Holmberg]

Do you watch that?

[Christy]

Sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

It's inevitable.

[Christy]

Anyone who's been out to Wildlife World.

[John Holmberg]

You can watch the mating tortoises.

[Christy]

I mean, every time I even drive by the tortoises, I'm like, oh, my.

[John Holmberg]

God, they're doing it again. Yeah, they're pervs.

[Christy]

Yeah, they are.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so this little guy, you're trying to find a girlfriend, and. And you're putting that out on the radio right now. If anybody's got a female. Wow. Bush baby. And he just flies.

[Christy]

Yeah, I know.

[John Holmberg]

Can I hang on to him? Come here, buddy. Oh, my gosh. That is so weird.

[Christy]

Actually, I'm gonna get you some worms because he.

[John Holmberg]

From what?

[Christy]

He might stay with you longer if you have. Have worms.

[John Holmberg]

I do have worms. I currently have pin worms. As he smell. He smells it. Oh, he's ready to jump. Look at this dude.

[Brady]

Oh, he.

[John Holmberg]

He knows the worms. They are. This is the coolest little guy ever, and he's hanging on for dear life. Where are the worms? I don't even see. Oh, there's one in your hand. Is it alive? Here?

[Christy]

Right here. That way you can feed him.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what you're doing. Oh, there's worms in my hands. Oh, there's freaking worm in my hand.

[Brady]

Did you just poop?

[John Holmberg]

Now I'm holding them.

[Christy]

That's nothing.

[Brady]

Let him dump on your shoulder.

[John Holmberg]

I think he's doing it. What do I do, everybody?

[Brady]

Yeah, put him in your head.

[John Holmberg]

He likes my shoulders. All right.

[Brady]

Yeah. You know, he's going after that earwax, probably.

[John Holmberg]

I don't. My headphones are on. Brady, no, that's poop.

[Christy]

He really likes to go down your shirt.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Christy]

You want him in your shirt?

[Brady]

Yeah, he would like that.

[John Holmberg]

I do.

[Brady]

Put him in there. He'll nestle right in there.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, that's crazy. They're making me uncomfortable. Comfortable. Look at him.

[Brady]

He started burrowing.

[John Holmberg]

Put him. Started lifting my clothes off, lady, if I did that to you, lawsuits. He's in there, man. Oh, yeah, he's doing some. Something.

[Christy]

Especially if you have hair. He might try and groom you a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice. You're making fun of Me having no hair. Yeah, put him on my head. See if he'll just live up there for a second. Jesus, you've got your hands all over me. Pervert. This is fun. Hi. He is adorable.

[Christy]

I guarantee you you've never seen.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see how quickly she just disrobed me?

[Brady]

Yeah, she's a pro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] hey everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness and I'm hanging out with my friend Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. So many locations, so many places to visit him. He's got you surrounded and you can check it out@Orlando. Orlandoautobody.com Shane, you were telling me about something. Just tell people what you were talking about. Yeah, I just want to share with with our listeners and our customers that we are now OEM certified. What that means is we've been trained by a lot of the OEMs, so we are now OEM certified. Orlando Auto Body, they got you covered in any sort of situation you get into with your car. And also remember, lifetime warranty on all repairs. All you got to do is go to orlandoautobody.com it's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness for lifechangeloan.com having good credit is a sign you're probably good with your finances. What if I told you you can control your home equity and do your inside of that? That sounds confusing, but your equity is your savings. You have earned that. If I want to completely remodel my house, I don't need a new loan. I have access to my money. The word you're looking for is freeing. Life change alone is the way the system should be. Go to the website and check the numbers for yourself. Then you'll realize it's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Holmberg's morning sickness Ow. Wow, look at that.

[Brady]

That was a good three foot leap.

[John Holmberg]

My head. He's cute. I like him. All right, you can stay right here, buddy. Man, he's neat and he'd probably.

[Brady]

And how good is his hearing? It's amazing.

[Christy]

They hear forever independently of each other.

[Brady]

He can hear a flea right now on a log and he'll just go eat it up.

[John Holmberg]

I've never had anybody try to take my shirt off at work before. I have. I think I've got a lawsuit.

[Christy]

Normally, if you want him to stay, he prefers to start at the bottom.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. I saw you. I guess you do, too. So she starts at the bottom and works her way up as well. Wow. It's the last thing I expected. You almost saw my girdle. Oh, this is adorable.

[Brady]

Maybe. Yeah, that looks good.

[John Holmberg]

Bush baby. Pooping on my head. If he takes it. Oh, I don't like this. There's a tail in my eyes. I don't like this at all.

[Brady]

He can. He can wrap that right in.

[John Holmberg]

You can take my eye out or something. And what's his name?

[Christy]

So his name's Theo.

[John Holmberg]

Theo. Yeah, after Malcolm Jamal Warner.

[Brady]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

Hear that? Huh? What?

[Christy]

You say they do something called urine washing?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's enough.

[Christy]

So what. What he does to mark his territory is he'll urinate, rub it on his hands and feet.

[John Holmberg]

Great. You just been crawling over my head. Thanks, Christy. That's awesome.

[Brady]

There he goes. There.

[John Holmberg]

He's just.

[Brady]

Just mark him up.

[John Holmberg]

Look at this. Look at this. This maggot.

[Brady]

Did he not go for the worm?

[John Holmberg]

No, he wants nothing to do with it.

[Brady]

Yeah, you hold that worm up. He'll gobble that. Oh, there you go. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's adorable.

[Brady]

Now you start dropping, you better have another worm.

[John Holmberg]

We got a whole bucket of them. Oh, I can't wait to dip my fingers into this. I'm not touching those. People want to know if you can put it on your nose. Yeah. See if you balance on my giant nose.

[Brady]

Nestle in that nostril.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't want to be on my nose. Did he jump onto my shirt shoulder?

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Try again. Oh, for a second. Do they ever not land. This thing is just ridiculous.

[Christy]

Literally like spider man. 10ft.

[John Holmberg]

So no kidding.

[Christy]

Hang on to the corners of the window seal. It's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How about that?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

I was a little worried about the.

[John Holmberg]

He's cute.

[Brady]

What? Up the. The grid here because. But they still clamp on because the pads on the. There.

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome.

[Brady]

Stick to the material.

[John Holmberg]

What a neat little guy. Come here.

[Brady]

He's pooping.

[John Holmberg]

He's pooping again. Jesus. This dude. All the worms. All right, that's kind of ne.

[Brady]

Give me the Scooby snacks.

[John Holmberg]

Well, thanks for bringing that in.

[Christy]

Yes, you're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Tell everybody where your zoo is.

[Christy]

Okay. So we're located off the 303 in Northern Avenue. We have Arizona's largest exotic animal collection.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Christy]

And it's amazing we have animals that you're not going to see at other zoos. I. I mean, we have so many.

[John Holmberg]

Two headed bison.

[Christy]

I wish we had.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't. That's a freak show. You have normal, healthy animals, right?

[Christy]

We do. Our animals are amazing. We have an aquarium safari park, and this is the best time to come out to the zoo because it's springtime. We have lots of babies. I'm so excited.

[John Holmberg]

That's neat for. Look at him. He just keeps jumping into that chair. He's awesome. Can you sell these? Do you sell these? What does this run, 15, 20 bucks?

[Brady]

I'll give you 20, right?

[John Holmberg]

I'll give you $30.

[Christy]

They're illegal to own, and even zoos don't have them. I guarantee no one in this room has ever seen one at a zoo.

[John Holmberg]

Is it bad that he's out in the daytime? Does his eyes burn? Look at that jump.

[Christy]

He has a little bit of a different schedule than the bush babies would out in Africa. Just because he's with us during the day. So he'll sleep a little bit through.

[John Holmberg]

The night because of the time change.

[Brady]

Look at him looking outside.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Christy]

The ears and the tail helps him with balance as they're jumping around.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty awesome. And he just eats worms. What else does he eat?

[Brady]

Caviar.

[John Holmberg]

Do you guys feed him anything Weird?

[Christy]

Bugs, fruit. These guys, they need a lot of, like, gum and tree SAP. That's what they'd get in the wild. So we have to supplement their diet with that, like, double.

[Brady]

Double what? Kind of gum?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What would Brady do? Turns into a bush baby. Exotic adventures with a bush baby.

[Brady]

He's cute.

[John Holmberg]

Cute. All right, well, I want a whole bunch of these. And you only have one right now. You need that girl one. And then you start breeding these things, and then they probably get out of control. Oh, pretty fast. Yeah. He just hung on for his life there as Brady tried to carrot stick him with a worm.

[Brady]

I fed him a treat.

[John Holmberg]

He's eating it. Yeah. He's neat.

[Christy]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I want him to just fly off here.

[Christy]

It's so social. I mean, look.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, he doesn't care at all. Or he's just constantly trying to escape. And we're reading.

[Christy]

Oh, you would know. If an animal is this was scared, they would be hiding.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Where?

[Christy]

This thing's not trying to hide. This little guy's just hanging out.

[John Holmberg]

So you think he's gonna. You're gonna get one now where would you. Where would you get one?

[Brady]

Cleo, like a girl, unzipped his pants.

[Christy]

So there's a couple unrelated breeding pairs in the United States. So we're hoping that one of those unrelated breeding pairs has a female.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Is that the bush Baby meter.

[John Holmberg]

Like J date.

[Brady]

Yeah, Right.

[Christy]

And that's why it's so important, you know, for zoos to work with each other, because different zoos are going to have different breeding programs. And we have a lot of really successful breeding programs because of our environment, because it's so hot here. So a lot of African, they like.

[John Holmberg]

To bang out there.

[Christy]

A lot of Australian.

[John Holmberg]

I love that thing. He's neat.

[Brady]

I knew you would.

[Christy]

I knew you guys love this little creature.

[John Holmberg]

Can he just stay? Like, we'll just leave him in here. We'll keep the door closed at all times.

[Christy]

I mean, pretty soon he's going to get tired and so will I.

[John Holmberg]

We all do. I'm kind of. Oh, he is cute. There's on Brady's head now.

[Christy]

And you guys have all been marked, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because he's got piss all over his feet. That's so cool.

[Christy]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, thanks, Christy. That's neat. Oh, look at that. Jump is ridiculous.

[Christy]

And the more comfortable he gets, the more he's gonna start jumping and he.

[John Holmberg]

Floats from thing to thing. Yeah.

[Christy]

Have you ever seen an animal move like that?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Christy]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Never. I want to now. I want to go to your mate. I want to see. Come here, bud. He likes that chair. Yeah. He is so cool. Awesome. Well, there you go. What's special at the zoo right now? What are you doing?

[Christy]

Okay. So lots of babies. We just started penguin encounters. We've been trying to expand our encounter program because, I mean, let's face it, when you have an encounter with an animal, like we're doing right now, you care about them, you love them, you care about what they're dealing with in the wild, and you're inspired to want to protect them. So. So we just started an African penguin encounter. They're an endangered species where people can get really close. We have our spider.

[Brady]

Is Banjo one of those penguins or what was the one. The baby one, a couple years ago?

[Christy]

Oh, yeah. We have a really successful penguin breeding program as well, which is great because that's an endangered species that's getting depleted out in the wild, and it's really special.

[John Holmberg]

We have a camera in the African penguin exhibit right here now. And that's. I'm sorry, I just tried a smoke alarm. I like. I know it's for Brett. Anyway. Well, that's cool. You got all sorts of stuff you can.

[Christy]

Yes, you can go to the website, check out our encounter program, and we have a really big announcement coming up in the next week or so.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Christy]

I'll let Brady know. He can announce it. He can announce it here. I won't be here. He can announce it, though.

[John Holmberg]

Why can't we just tease it? What does it have to do with.

[Christy]

It was just born.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a birth. All right. That's the tease right there. So something new just fell out of another.

[Christy]

Huge. Huge.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big one.

[Christy]

A massive birth, like, massive here in Arizona. Are gonna lose their mind.

[John Holmberg]

Animal. That is huge. Not a huge story.

[Christy]

Kinda. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Christy]

Both.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Damn it.

[Christy]

I know. It's so exciting.

[John Holmberg]

It's not an elephant because she just said it's a huge animal. So somewhere in the middle, it's a yeti. I think you're right. All right. Okay.

[Christy]

Massive. Yeah. I mean, it's gonna shut down Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna have to not go to work one day. Yeah. Y.

[Christy]

Even you. You have not been out.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's just.

[Christy]

And I think when you find out what's coming, you're gonna be like, oh.

[John Holmberg]

My God, Christy, please, you bring them to me. I don't leave my house.

[Christy]

This is gonna be really. We wouldn't be able to travel with this one. Too big.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It's too big to move with. So it's bigger than a car? No, it fits in a car. Yes, but it can't be in a car because it's too dangerous. Yeah.

[Christy]

It's just not typical practice to travel around with one of these.

[John Holmberg]

These babies.

[Christy]

And it's being mother raised, so that would be hard. We could definitely not travel with the mom. She is too big to fit in a car.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, there she goes. It's like a lion or something.

[Brady]

Good tea.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah, that's a good tea. So in a week, we're allowed to talk about.

[Christy]

Yeah, it should be a week. We got to figure out when we're doing the press release.

[John Holmberg]

Is that just to make sure it lives?

[Christy]

Well, it's so mom can, like.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if animals have sids.

[Christy]

Kind of behind the scenes. If we announce it now, everyone's going to come out and expect to see it. But mom doesn't have it out on his.

[John Holmberg]

Got it. But in a week or so, it's gonna start wandering around. Okay. Damn it.

[Brady]

This thing is cool.

[John Holmberg]

Bird or four?

[Brady]

Four.

[John Holmberg]

Four Legger. Four Legger. Damn it.

[Christy]

How cute is Theo? He's literally just making his rounds to you guys. This is the friendliest little creature.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this is great. Brady was starting mild drug habits for the listeners, and you came in and made it all wholesome and decent.

[Brady]

That's a drug. Right there. There. That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Start handling wild animals. That's right.

[Christy]

I agree with you.

[John Holmberg]

That's so cute.

[Christy]

On a high right now.

[John Holmberg]

That is cute. And this. And Steve asked, can you schedule a private showing with the bush babies?

[Christy]

No, they are not part of the encounter program at the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a little weird, too. That's almost Siamese twin weird. I just want to be in a room alone with it.

[Brady]

I don't want to be in the room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, you can't.

[Brady]

Steve, you said it likes to burrow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. You're like. I like lift my shirt up. Oh, what he do there? He just jumped into the tunnel.

[Brady]

Amazing.

[John Holmberg]

He's trying to kill himself.

[Brady]

A good six foot jump.

[Christy]

I love that he's showing off for you guys.

[John Holmberg]

Did he land it or is that an accident? No, he can off the wall.

[Christy]

Yeah, from one side to another. Hang on to the wall.

[John Holmberg]

He's going to do it again. He's final over. Why aren't we filming all of this? That was pretty cool.

[Christy]

Look how comfortable he is.

[John Holmberg]

He's pretty neat. All right, I got to take a break. We'll take a break here and watch this bush baby leap all over the room. Christy, this is exciting.

[Christy]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's housing $300,000 illegally for. Oh, yes. I'm telling you right now. While you're panicking, that mother does that again. He's getting swatted out of here. He just. He face jumped me.

[Brady]

He is.

[John Holmberg]

All right. We were cute for a second. This just got sideways.

[Brady]

There he goes.

[John Holmberg]

I will. I will. I will smack you, you freak. He's way up high. Now get a camera on this because he's leaping off of that one over here.

[Brady]

Let's do the over. Under.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, how far. Where does he. Yeah, where does he. We should put bets he's going for a bar. We should put bets on where he.

[Brady]

Jumps wall to bar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. This is crazy. We'll put these up on our Facebook page. But he's up on the TV right now and he always looking to jump.

[Brady]

Damon.

[John Holmberg]

My camera's dirty.

[Brady]

Antsy.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we're going to take a break. We'll get video of this in a second. There you go, Christy. World Wildlife Suit Wildlife. He just.

[Brady]

He just flicked one.

[John Holmberg]

He just dropped one. He just dropped a deuce on. That's great. Thank you, Christy.

[Brady]

That's nothing but mealworm.

[John Holmberg]

All right, there you go. Thank you, Christy. This is fun. All right. We're gonna have more fun with a bush baby. In a second. It's.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Hberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. All right, there you go, Volbeat. That's Shotgun Blues. I've got this little primate in my. My shirt.

[Brady]

He's totally calmed you.

[John Holmberg]

It's all, well, I don't want to move too fast. He's in. He won't get out of my shirt, and I don't want him out. I think I would like this life better than the one I was leading. This is a better world to have a monkey in your shirt. It's a monkey. Yeah. Primates, technically. Monkey. Get over here. Christy. No one can hear you. No one hear cries.

[Christy]

All monkeys are primates, but not all primates are monkeys. So this is a cousin to the monkey, cousin to monkey, cousin to lemurs. It's a bush baby.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Christy]

But it is a primate.

[John Holmberg]

We used to have one of these working here.

[Brady]

We did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we did. We had a girl here that looked a lot like she was nocturnal.

[Brady]

It was the largest bush she was in North America.

[John Holmberg]

Huge for a bush baby, small for a person. Yeah. But we're pretty sure that the breeding program you're working on, we watched it constantly.

[Brady]

Crashing symbols.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And asking for money. You know.

[John Holmberg]

What is a bush baby's main job in the world?

[Christy]

They're an insectivore, so they help regulate the insect population. They go around at night and just eat massive amounts of insects.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And that's it.

[Brady]

They help stop malaria.

[Christy]

And they're also, you know, pretty low on the food chain, so a lot of things.

[John Holmberg]

What eats them?

[Christy]

Anything bigger than them, that's nocturnal. I mean, snakes, birds of prey.

[John Holmberg]

How do they find them? Like, these things are so fast.

[Christy]

No, there's. And that's how they're going to get away from predators. So they do have that advantage to.

[John Holmberg]

Burrow and hide and be like, yeah.

[Christy]

Just gonna bing, gong.

[Brady]

And cuts down probably a little bit, since they're active at night. So it definitely, you know, nocturnal.

[John Holmberg]

The predators, which I'm pretty sure you can't have a bad day if you've got one of these in your shirt. I know. I'm pretty sure that no matter what, like. Like, everybody spends so much money on therapy and trying to feel better. It's like, just put a primate in your shirt for a minute. Maybe that's emotional support. Bush baby.

[Brady]

And just, I'm gonna see you Come in. And you really look like someone has a bush baby in their shirt.

[John Holmberg]

I had a rough weekend, so you guys forgive me? I'm bush. But baby. And it. You can't feel bad. You cannot feel bad at all.

[Brady]

But look, when he peeps his head up over the.

[John Holmberg]

He's like. He's. He's like. He's looking out for.

[Brady]

Hilarious.

[Christy]

Yeah, it's so cute. And this interaction has changed your life and your view.

[John Holmberg]

It has. Well, maybe I'm bush babies.

[Christy]

I can see it in your eyes.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna be honest with you, Chris. You didn't really have.

[Brady]

You used to want a curb stomp.

[John Holmberg]

I used to not have much of an opinion on.

[Christy]

That's what happens when you entertain people to.

[Brady]

For sure.

[Christy]

When they have that one on one interaction. I gotta be honest to want to conserve and protect.

[John Holmberg]

Never once thought I'd run into one. So it hadn't developed much of a right.

[Christy]

And that's the thing. You don't even think about bush babies. They're not even on your brain at all. So you don't know what they're up against in the wild. You don't know if there's a lot. A little. If they're gonna be around 10 years from now, 50 years from now. And that's why zoos are amazing.

[John Holmberg]

I'll be honest. This is the only one I care about. Like, the other ones are true. There's probably a dick bush baby out there somewhere. Probably one of the bush babies. Like, drunk Theodore had a baby.

[Christy]

Are you telling me you wouldn't love that little baby? Like, it was your.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like when friends have kids. It really kind of wrecks the friendship. I like him single and kind of.

[Brady]

Hanging with the size of my finger.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Oh, they're tiny.

[John Holmberg]

Once a friend has kids, it's like, all right, they're off.

[Brady]

That changes.

[John Holmberg]

That changes the relationship.

[Christy]

Baby. I'm gonna bring it in, and we'll put that to the test.

[Brady]

I'll give you 35 bucks if Theo.

[John Holmberg]

If. Yeah, but Theo will be, like, in khakis and crocs. He'll be lame then. Like, Theo's awesome right now because he's looking for a. Looking for a hoe. He's, like, out. He's trolling, right? Like, he's out. Yeah. Like, I like Theo. Like, Theo's fun. We'll go to the casino, mess around for a little bit, walk out, get him a couple drinks, and next thing you know, he's like, I gotta take my kids to soccer.

[Brady]

Let's get Theo to a son's game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. We'll get him in the rah rah room. We'll get him down.

[Christy]

He'd be the most popular guy there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I think so. If I had a bush baby baby with me. Although I think you can purchase bush babies in the raha room now and again. Different kind. Let's get right to this. It's. And you can help us, Christy. It's the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends at Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Schwartz Laser Eye Center. I'm telling everybody right now. Do the tests. Look at the license plate in front of you. If you can read it without squinting, you're doing all right. But I'm betting a bunch of you are looking at that license plate going close enough. Just go get your eyes checked. It's a complimentary consultation over at the Schwartz Laser eye Center. Have Dr. Jay Schwartz take a look at him like he did me and then come up with a plan for you. Is it Lasik? Is it lens replacement? Do you have something going on? A cataract? Talked to a friend of mine this weekend's got a cataract in his eye. Just found it the other day. We live in a sunny environment. It can happen. Bush babies probably get them. Probably have eye issues a lot.

[Christy]

Yeah, no, they're nocturnal.

[John Holmberg]

I don't mean he can't have eye problems.

[Christy]

Well, I mean, maybe they don't if.

[Brady]

They have an eye problem.

[Christy]

If there was a flashlight in his face all the time because he's more susceptible.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Christy]

To light.

[John Holmberg]

So it's a good idea to keep him out all day.

[Christy]

He might develop something.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, then Dr. J. Schwartz can fix that, too. If you've got big nocturnal eyes or little tiny eyes, head on over there. Dr. J. Schwartz will take care of TMIDoc.com. it's the Schwarz Laser Eye Center. Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

Brad Pitt's biggest movie. What would you guess it'd be the highest grossing?

[John Holmberg]

Highest grossing?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oceans. Probably one of the oceans. Yeah, because they're shorter. Like, I'm thinking once upon a time in Hollywood would be. But it's three hours. Hours long.

[Brady]

And I'll give you a hint. He was in it for one second.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was the Star Wars. Or wasn't he in one of those or something like that? A Marvel movie or something now you're kidding. I don't remember what it was.

[Brady]

Deadpool 2. 786 million. He was in it for one second. Does that count?

[John Holmberg]

No. No.

[Brady]

Why not you're getting paid.

[John Holmberg]

You're not really the reason you're people are at the movie Paris bit my neck.

[Brady]

See what Paris Hilton was doing over the weekend with aoc?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

They're crusading against deep fake porn.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm crusading against them.

[Brady]

They're getting behind a bill that would allow victims of deep fake porn to sue the creators and distributors.

[John Holmberg]

Who's the victim?

[Brady]

Well, the people taking. Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, you did a deep fake port of me and I was performing.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's great out there.

[John Holmberg]

It's hilarious. You know what? Just do it. Of people who don't care. We already saw her in a porn.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's what she talked about when I was 19. Terrible too years old. A private, intimate video of me was shared with the world without my consent.

[John Holmberg]

Taking shots twice on my neck. He's like a little vampire. He's grooming.

[Brady]

He's looking for some meal.

[John Holmberg]

Got me good.

[Brady]

We got another major country music festival has been canceled this year. The Watershed Music Festival. It takes place in the Pacific Northwest. It had names like Tim McGraw, Chris Stapleton, Eric Church. That's the second one we've heard this year that they've canceled.

[John Holmberg]

Christy, are you a country music fan?

[Christy]

I love older country. I don't know any of the new country.

[John Holmberg]

Like the drunken hillbilly old country.

[Christy]

Yeah, like the horrible stuff that everyone makes fun of.

[John Holmberg]

I like. Like George Jones.

[Christy]

Straight George. Straight Garth Brooks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you go 90s.

[Christy]

Yeah, 90s.

[Brady]

Ricky Shelton.

[Christy]

Yeah, that's my favorite.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's pop country. But it's not as bad as today. Today's country is horrible.

[Christy]

I don't know any of the today's country.

[Brady]

There's a couple of mistakes that were left in classic songs. Songs. I told you about this one this morning. Hey Jude, about 2 minutes and 58 seconds in the song, McCartney says, effing hell, he hits the wrong chord on the piano and they leave it in there. You can faintly hear it in the song, but they. It's in there the whole time. So faint. Radio station still play it?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Brady did kind of start to break bring this up, but they're doing a lot of stories about gay animals now. I've noticed.

[Christy]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are there any lesbian animals? Yes, there are.

[Christy]

Oh, yeah. How do you know all the animals? They'll swing.

[Brady]

Are they tuna? Right? Mostly.

[John Holmberg]

All right, calm down.

[Brady]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Just a guess.

[Christy]

He had spent the week female African black footed penguins that are perform oral. Well, they build a nest and you know they. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They put up some wind chimes, watch some wnba.

[Christy]

I mean it goes all kinds of.

[John Holmberg]

Ways, but the lesbianism.

[Christy]

Yeah, it happens for sure.

[John Holmberg]

How do you know?

[Christy]

Because the African black footed penguins, we.

[John Holmberg]

Know they just live together.

[Christy]

Yeah. But they also. They're a couple. Yeah.

[Brady]

No, they bond and so they'll be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you catch them.

[Christy]

Like you would never know that. That it wasn't a male. Female. But we've done the.

[Brady]

Until there's no. There's no offspring.

[Christy]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But they reach over their little flipper every once in a while and do the.

[Christy]

Yeah. No, they love each other very much.

[John Holmberg]

They pat and rub. Yeah. I don't believe it.

[Christy]

No, it's true.

[John Holmberg]

I don't believe in lesbians in the wild.

[Brady]

Yeah. I think they're just.

[Christy]

Their names are Ellen and Portia too.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not even lying. So they just housed up together. And they're not like penguin sizzling.

[Brady]

Was that in the wild? That captivity?

[Christy]

No, it'll happen in the wild.

[John Holmberg]

But what do they like? Like. There's no mating though. It's not sexual. It is.

[Brady]

They just pair it up.

[John Holmberg]

You watch some weird.

[Brady]

They're not getting it on. They're not messing around.

[Christy]

Well, a lot of times you don't see them. I mean it depends on the species you're talking about. Like the tortoises. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You see that lesbian tortoises.

[Christy]

I haven't seen lesbian tortoises yet.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz that would be obvious. Then they can't get on their back.

[Brady]

That's not happy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady]

Well.

[Christy]

And they're. The way they are built, their anatomy is built for male, female. Like the males have a concave shell to help them with mounting. So it would be impossible for the female to mount another female because they're not built.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The one would have to roll over there and put his face in it.

[Christy]

It would fall off.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

To throw the beak in there, you.

[John Holmberg]

Have to beak it. I don't believe that's true. The gay thing, sure. The guys. But.

[Christy]

Yeah, that happens all the time too.

[Brady]

The police song, Roxanne. The beginning of the song, you hear a random piano chord followed by some laughing. They left that in there. Sting.

[John Holmberg]

That's a big. That's a big part of that.

[Brady]

Yeah. Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith. The intro of the song contains rattling noise that was achieved by Steven Tyler playing something called a vibe vibra slap. Huh?

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, that's. I heard it prominent. It breaks during it. Yeah, yeah. And they kept it in there because.

[Brady]

And then they also used packets of sugar because they didn't have any of the. What is the maracas.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. I've heard that, too. That they use sugar packs because they broke the.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Thing. Interesting. All right, lock it up.

[Brady]

Dave Grohl announced that the Foo has finished an album. It'll roll out later this year.

[John Holmberg]

Hope they put out a good tour.

[Brady]

With Queens of the Stone Age.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That'S it. Oh, I told you this one. You're excited about this, but May 9th and 10th at Netflix is a joke fest. Flight of the courts are going to unite the two shows.

[John Holmberg]

Good stuff. It's been a minute. All right, well, there you go. Well, thanks to Christy for coming and bringing this little guy in.

[Christy]

You're so welcome.

[John Holmberg]

He literally has, like, made the day. Still nuzzled in, huh? Yeah, I feel like crap. Like, I've had, like, a cold three for four days and this now. How bad can things be? Why is Africa so unhappy? You just put these in there. Oh, they don't have shirts. There's the problem. They don't fit in the Michael Jordan.

[Brady]

Oh, he's trying to work his way out there.

[Christy]

He is so cute. Because he comes up, he peeks out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he looks up my shirt. This is the greatest thing he could ever have.

[Brady]

He's like, dude, you got any weed?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he does kind of look like he's dealing down there. All right, I'm keeping him. You guys do your commercials, and he's going to do. No, man, keep. He doesn't need that little bag he came in. All right, that's it. We'll put the pictures up on the. On the.

[Brady]

Hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty sweet. That's it. Thanks, Christy.

[Christy]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Very nice.

[Brady]

Look how calm he is now.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I have to be, because if I move too fast, I don't want him to fall out.

[Brady]

You afraid?

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. I like him and he's staying. I'm nurturing. Don't have kids. Don't be uncool. And if you do, run like Toledo's dad. Are they good dads? Not really. It's going out for a pack of smokes.

[Brady]

John's gonna take him to Dr. Lynn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm gonna get him a vasectomy. You can let him bang away on all those bush babies you bring in, and nothing's gonna happen. We're done. Larry's next. We'll talk to you guys tomorrow in the morning sickness solo.

[Brady]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com when you're dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars, you want people in your camp who are legit and have a solid reputation. And I don't think it gets much more solid than an A plus from the Better Business Bureau. Not a lot of banks have that, but Life Changer Loan does. People who have made this move to Life Change alone all say this is better than the old way. And they recognize that it's just a matter of going to the website, doing a little math and seeing if it's right for them. If you're great with your money, just check it out and live that A plus life because there is no catch. It's not magic. It's just Math. Life Changer Loan $This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855- GUN RIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com.