01-26-26 - Seeing Stories On How Some Animals Might Be Gay Makes Us Think There's An Agenda - Study Finds Jazz Is The Genre Most Associated w/Being Unfaithful - Sam Darnold May Blow Up John's Ginger QB Theory

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 01-26-26

Main Theme:
This episode dives into humorous and candid banter around social trends, animal behaviors, infidelity studies related to music genres, and football theories — all with the show’s signature irreverence and playful skepticism. Discussions swirl around recent news of "gay animals," whether jazz fans are the most unfaithful, the cultural shifts in music and sex, and whether a "ginger" quarterback can finally win an NFL championship.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Gender Differences, Twins, and Relationship Humor

• Discussion: The hosts riff on an email about men allegedly being "cooler" than women when it comes to sexual pranks involving identical twins. The conversation quickly devolves into bawdy jokes about swapping partners and the imagined reactions of men vs. women in such scenarios.
• Quote:
  • "If a dude had a... Brett and I are twins, and we swap out and like, aha. Gotcha, Matthias. Like, we do that for fun. And if a woman found out that it was the twin, she'd—Stop it. Stop. This is weird." – John Holmberg [02:03]
• Tone: Playful, irreverent, and very much in line with the show's edgy humor.

2. Mike McCarthy and the Steelers Coaching Hire

• Discussion: Holmberg expresses lukewarm feelings about the Steelers hiring Mike McCarthy as head coach. The group agrees it’s a safe but unexciting choice, and jokes about Arizona not being able to attract coaching candidates.
• Quote:
  • "They roll in the fattest dude available, and you're like, alright. Am I supposed to get excited about this?" – John Holmberg [04:03]
• Analysis: Insight into fan perspective on NFL coaching moves, with a focus on the emotional flatness of some franchise decisions.

3. The New “Agenda?”: Stories on Gay Animals

• Overview:
  • John notices a surge in media stories about homosexual behavior in animals, especially manatees and pandas. He expresses skepticism, joking that perhaps this is fueling a new debate or “agenda” on normalizing homosexuality by pointing to the animal kingdom.
• Notable Quotes & Humorous Jabs:
  • "This new thing I’m seeing is they're trying to convince us that animals are now super duper gay. I've seen like 10 stories in the last two weeks." – John Holmberg [08:03]
  • "In my entire life, I have never watched the news and heard the manatees are gay, ever." – John Holmberg [12:00]
  • "[If you do find] a female bear laying on her back and another female bear just licking away—you got something, now I'll believe you." – John Holmberg [12:23]
• Analysis & Satirical Observations:
  • The hosts lampoon the idea of "gay manatees" being newsworthy, liken it to earlier media panics (e.g., backmasking in music), and ponder why tales only focus on male animal homosexuality.
  • "Maybe we just pour too many pills into the sewers and they're getting there and they make them gay. I don't know." – John Holmberg [18:09]
  • They wonder about a lack of “lesbian” animal stories, speculating about hidden motivations in reporting.

4. Music and Infidelity: Surprising Study Results

• Key Segment: Study claims jazz fans are most likely to be unfaithful, subverting expectations that genres like rap or country would top the list.
• Data Points (approx. [24:32]-[26:50]):
  • Jazz, salsa, and pop rank highest for infidelity; heavy metal and rock are near the bottom.
  • "Jazz topped the list of seductive genres. Salsa was second. Pop music is third. Country was fourth. Rap fifth. Classical music has more wanderers." – John Holmberg [25:07]
  • Heavy metal is "the safest" with only 2% admitting infidelity.
• Analysis:
  • Hosts riff on "sexiness" in music, reflect on the declining sex appeal of modern rock and metal, and reminisce about the sex-charged days of 80s hair metal and ballads.
  • "No woman should ever say, turn that on. ...This is a guarantee that nobody's gonna want to sleep. And the ones who do are so creepy, I don't want to sleep with them." – John Holmberg (about heavy metal) [31:37]

5. Changes in Music, Sex, and Culture

• Nostalgia & Commentary:
  • The guys compare the peak sexual influence of 80s glam/hair metal bands and the subsequent turn toward grunge, lamenting the lost sense of fun and sex in rock.
  • “We need some dudes to come back, start singing about…[love and sex]." – John Holmberg [47:45]
• Funny Observations:
  • “Tool ain't getting you laid by anything. Sexy girls can like Tool, but very rarely are they, you know..." – John Holmberg [42:58]
  • “Very rarely is there a gaggle of 25 year old models hanging out at a Tool concert just looking for D.” – John Holmberg [43:12]

6. The Ginger Quarterback Theory

• Premise: John reiterates his tongue-in-cheek theory that a "ginger" (red-haired) quarterback can't win a Super Bowl, citing Sam Darnold's recent performance as a possible challenge to the “curse.”
• Quotes:
  • "You can't ever win a championship in football with a ginger quarterback...maybe coming to an end. Sam Darnold looks pretty solid right now." – John Holmberg [48:30]
  • “Sam Darnold’s the first ginger like to get this far even. … Not winning with a ginger quarterback. Not happening. Just not happening. This might break it.” – John Holmberg [48:46]
• Jokes about Team Dynamics:
  • “I’ll even go so far as to say you can’t have more than three [gingers] because that’s a coven. And the next thing you know, you got witchcraft coming in.” – John Holmberg [51:07]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dubious Animal Homosexuality Stories:
  • “Gay Manatee is a phenomenal alternative rock band.” – John Holmberg [10:59]
• On Manly Reactions to Twin Pranks:
  • “You get divorced if you try to pull that [twin switch prank] with a woman. You get, like, a ring if you try to do it from a guy.” – John Holmberg [03:59]
• On Music and Sex:
  • "Jazz is basically the Angel of Death of jazz. That’s not—you’re not getting sex from that. If you are, it’s with somebody like Grace Jones. Snap your dick off." – John Holmberg [33:16]
  • “If I got a chick who's into angel of Death. Yikes. She’s got one of those tattoos of a dead friend that she had ground up and stuff and made into some sort of ink.” – John Holmberg [31:37]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Gender/Twin Swap Humor: 01:39–04:36
• Steelers/Mike McCarthy: 04:36–05:55
• Societal Trends & "Gay Animal" Agenda: 05:55–13:59
• Jazz and Infidelity Study: 24:22–34:09
• Nostalgia: 80s Rock, Sex, and Power Ballads: 43:10–47:09
• Ginger QB Theory: 48:08–52:46

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Flow and Tone

The episode maintains the show’s trademark style: rapid-fire, sarcastic, and bold, weaving social commentary with personal anecdotes, cultural nostalgia, and tongue-in-cheek skepticism. Listeners new to the show will get a sense of its humor—edgy, sometimes juvenile, but quick-witted and self-aware.

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In Summary:
This episode spotlights the odd news cycle around animal sexuality, pokes fun at “agendas” and reactionary media, and offers plenty of laughs about music, sex, and sports. It also delivers the kind of group dynamic and unfiltered camaraderie that defines "Holmberg's Morning Sickness." Whether pondering the “naturality” of gay dolphins, theorizing about why jazz fans cheat, or debating whether a ginger can win the big one, the show entertains through insightfully unserious banter.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Holberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's a trap. I forgot about that guy, that crying guy. I'm gonna be like 20 years on this dude.

[Steven]

What was that from?

[John Holmberg]

From intervention. His brother started crying when his family. His family broke it to him. He just started. This is what. He just started crying. And there isn't much funnier than a man crying. Well, that's good stuff. Anyway, I don't know why that makes me Every time. Every time. Got the sneezes, I got the sn. Got the snots guy emails and says, john, you just proved how much cooler guys are than girls with your twins talk. No woman would ever say, if I had a twin, I'd be swapping partners with my sister just for fun. You know why this gets good? Because it would be awesome. And women hate things that are awesome. Side note, I'm two weeks into my wife asking me for a divorce so she could move in with some guy she's been banging. She's going to financially Devastate me now. And she got her little life raft over there, willing to let her live for free with him. I hate them all. Stephen. That took a turn. But it's true. If a dude. If a dude had a. Like, Brett and I were talking. I had a twin. Brett and I are twins, and we swap out and like, aha. Gotcha, Matthias. Like, we do that for fun. And if a woman found out that it was the twin, she'd. Stop it. Stop. This is weird. If Mathias had a twin and they got in cahoots and said, try to bang brat. See if he notices. Even if you knew immediately, you're still gonna nail her sister.

[Steven]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Steven]

You'd think to yourself and say, you got me.

[John Holmberg]

You guys, I can't believe you. What a prank. What a prank you pulled. Oh, man. Thought a little something was off, but I couldn't quite.

[Byron]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

I never would have thought. Anyway.

[Steven]

Do not do that one again.

[John Holmberg]

But the dude wouldn't be mad. But the wife would. Which is why Steven thinks guys are more. Are cooler. And that is a cooler thing. You got a twin sister, and you guys want to start playing? See if my husband notices. Go blow him. He isn't. He. No, Immediately. Like, this is a different one. This is not the same. Okay. Oh, baby, baby. This is so great. You just can't say it was better. That's the only thing.

[Brett Vesely]

No matter.

[John Holmberg]

If you study and your sister's terrible in bed. I thought something was wrong with you.

[Steven]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say no, but don't try that again. Why You. You get divorced if you try to pull that with a woman. You get, like, a ring. If you try to do it from a guy, he's gonna buy. He's gonna buy you presents. You guys are hilarious. Wouldn't happen. And it does mean that guys are kind of cooler when it comes to that. Why anyone would care, I don't know. But I've got a lot of people asking me what I thought of the Steelers hiring Mike McCarthy. Nothing sexy about that, right? I mean, you can't. They roll in the fattest dude available, and you're like, all right. Am I supposed to get excited about this?

[Steven]

He's happy. He's back home.

[John Holmberg]

He's fine. He's in. He's a Pittsburgh guy. Super safe hire. Yeah. Not taking any risks. Not blown away by anybody. Good. Jesse.

[Steven]

Does he get along well? So that mean one more year for Aaron?

[John Holmberg]

Aaron would come back. They don't have a quarterback. It just kind of makes sense in a football scheme, and it just depends on his coordinators. To me, it's a three to five year plan to bridge who's going to be in the organization and then kind of build a little coaching tree and then try to see if you can get some young, exciting coordinators that'll be under Mike's umbrella that he can kind of move in. I don't know.

[John Holberg]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. I just know this. We saved you Cardinals. We saved you from the Mike McCarthy era. He wouldn't want this job anyway. But there's still nobody even, like. Like nobody's even interviewing here. They're all just saying, it's too perfect there. I want to go to Cleveland. I don't understand that. But yeah, it's not. It's not an exciting hire by any stretch. So I'm not like, doing backflips, but status quo. He's. Get the offense in shape. We'll see. Not too incredibly blown away. Also, I'm starting to notice a trend. You know, I've.

[Byron]

I've.

[John Holmberg]

For the last. I don't know, you just live long enough, you start seeing the same things happen over and over. And, you know, that's kind of where my skepticism comes into the whole Minnesota Ice thing. Like, we used to march about everything. Marches don't do anything. They just cause trouble and then make us all argue and then it goes away.

[Steven]

In Minnesota, it hasn't been good.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's been marches.

[Steven]

They're not good marchers.

[John Holmberg]

A couple times, and it seems sort of weird that, you know, you had the whole Rittenhouse thing and he had a gun at the deal and he taking people out. It's like everybody's got the same argument. Then they flip flop sides. It doesn't matter. And then you have, you know, the lady march a few years ago, and they were mad at us. Remember the MeToo marches? And it just went away. And then we were mad at gays. We had gays running around. Nope. And then trans. Nobody does that anymore. And so it's all this. But I have noticed that this dawned on me back when gay marriage was no big deal to almost all of us. Remember how they tried to make us fight over that? Like, they got real fired up on one side. Well, if we let them marry each other, it's against this and man and woman. And everybody's like, we don't care. And it just passed and nobody threw a fit. Everybody thought there'd be walls up and there'd be, like, marches against and there's a few people who grouchied up, but nobody in the general population was willing to take the streets in 20 below and start screaming, I want it back. It just went and came and went. So, like, the next day, they're like, oh, Jesus. They didn't care about the gays. Turn it up a notch. Trans, everything. You know, like, trans, you're transphobic. Like, I didn't even know there were that many of them. Like, yeah, they're everywhere. And your kids are it, too. And like, all these stories that you.

[Steven]

Have to make this gay man's wedding.

[John Holmberg]

Cake, all this stuff that didn't exist before started to exist where it was like, trans, this trans. And beta blockers, puberty. But no, I didn't. Nobody knew that it was a. Even a drug that you could do that. You can stop there and chop their willies off when they're 12. They can make choices like, who's going through this? I don't. No one. And so then it became that. This new one I'm seeing because it doesn't seem like we're arguing a whole bunch about that anymore either. That kind of.

[Brett Vesely]

That one ran its course.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that one sort of fizzled. It ran its course. And everybody's like, look, be trans all you want, but I ain't changing my day for it. And you can have your they, thems and all that stuff on your own time. But I ain't. I ain't Lou. I ain't catching a kick for goofing up pronouns. I got, you know, I went to school for a lot, and one of the things that I kind of got okay at was speaking out loud. And I sound like a retard when I say they, them the wrong way. It's just, you're doing it wrong. It just screws up. It screws up English. So if I'm guessing you're a he and you're not, oops, that's legitimate. And especially if you're an ugly one. Like, you're the ones that have to get lighter and. And we kind of told them that. And we're like, we're not doing. It's like, midgets, midgets. Like, we want to not be called that anymore. It's like, what are you going to do about it? There's a whole movement that basically everybody's like, I'm tired of getting pushed around. I'm not doing this maliciously, so don't get mad at me. This new thing I'm seeing is they're trying to Convince us that animals are now super duper gay. I've seen like 10 stories in the last two weeks. I feel like this is like they're starting to move into this. Manatees died from injuries because it has sex with his brother. He's like, sea manatees do it. And that in some way is starting to like every time they mention that human beings aren't the only ones. And suddenly we were noticing gay sex in the sea a lot. And before we did. I don't think we were looking for it. No, Nobody really cares. Like, those manatees are both men. They're gay. And really. And then so there was the two pandas that people in China got killed for it for trying to say that they were mating. And then one of them got pregnant. And that's not real.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like a Springer show.

[John Holmberg]

It is. But I'm starting to see all these things and I'm like, is this the next step to try to get us to yell at each other over gay being a natural thing?

[Steven]

And all the science was covering up the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And we, we never saw like two bears. Well, we have, you know, that's different. I shouldn't use that. But like two, you know, it's weird because here's, here's the thing. I never notice c. Lesbianism. It doesn't exist.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So if they start in with that, I'll know it's all fake.

[Steven]

If it's on both sides.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're saying, well, okay, I guess they do have a penchant to kind of, you know, they're into fish. It makes sense to me. That would kind of like there's numerous.

[Steven]

Species in the island of Lesbos.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Bonding dolphins scissoring out there somewhere. Like, why do I have to hear about gay manatees? As if that's something. That's going to be something we have to deal with later. If a gay manatee. That just sounds like a criminal manatee to me. It's his brother too, by the way. This is gross.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like an all day Z band.

[John Holmberg]

Gay Manatee is a phenomenal alternative rock band. Gay Manatee. And then the, the album would be called Dead from Injury. Yeah, it's in something. And they're. They're like, it's in. Well, it happens all the time. And it's like they're trying to. I've never heard in my whole life there's never been a news story one. You know that fish can be gay. Like, who's looking? You're the weirdo. It's like those People that used to try to play records backwards to find the devil's thing. You're the devil. If you're playing music, it's not the way it's intended. And of course you're going to invite bands to put in special messages for the lunatics. It was a fun game, but you're nuts for playing music backwards to try to find men. None of us were. None of us that liked the Judas Priest ever spun it backwards. Until religious people started to say, you know, there's messages on there. Like, is there? And we'd start like, oh, my God, they did edit.

[Steven]

Then they hear that after the fact. Let's do it.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Only the dummies thought it was real. We all knew it was a joke Judas Priest was playing on the ministers. In my entire life, I have never watched the news and heard the manatees are gay, ever. And suddenly, like, four stories in the last week where I've seen wildlife that they're like, they caught them, they're gay. They do it too. Well, that doesn't. Does that make it right?

[Steven]

Is that.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean? And when. And if you do find, like, a female bear laying on her back and another female bear just licking away he got something, now, I'll believe you. But if it's just dudes boning, it's like prison. It just. It's a last resort for their, you know, desires. And they're like, ah. And they just grab the first thing with a hole and attack. It's called rape. Ask both those bears if they're gay, because I'm guessing the weaker one wasn't. I'm guessing the weaker one was attacked, because how do they know?

[Brett Vesely]

It's like Andy Dufresne, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. He wasn't gay. Andy wasn't gay. It was just. The sisters in jail are going to be there forever. It's like, the only way I'm getting laid is this way. And if a bear's in his heat or whatever bears do, I don't know. And then he's like, there's no girls around and I'm gonna lose it. He's got a screw loose.

[Steven]

Well, yeah, in the pass, it would. Till the rival.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't bang him and then, like, buy him a drink.

[Steven]

Hey, let's not fight. Let's bang.

[John Holmberg]

Trying to make it seem like they're. They're getting together like, this gay is a bottom. These bears are not doing that. And manatees in the. Who's looking for this? I want that job. My name's Steven Johnson. I work for the underwater society and my job is to watch for gay sex. Why there's something something. Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] all.

[Comedy Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

Well, just because we want to prove that it's normal, we don't care. But this is getting out of hand.

[Steven]

There's probably chemicals in the water.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably chemtrails that somehow seeped down into the oceans and made them gay. Alex Jones Been talking about it for a long time. The frog gay. Things like the making the frogs gay and we don't know what to do. It's like frogs are able to do that on their own.

[Steven]

People are dumping their hormonal pills in the head.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it's our drugs. Either way. I never once watched Marlon Perkins or David Attenborough or Morgan Freeman or any of those people show me snow leopards like they're gay.

[Steven]

Ziggy jumped up and mounted our dog. Catch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Steven]

You know, but they're playing.

[John Holmberg]

Are they boys?

[Steven]

Yeah, both boys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They'll hump. Boys hump. They get excited. Yeah.

[Steven]

No, they're not.

[John Holmberg]

Frank, my dog Frank, little Frankie will grab any dog laying down by the head and just bang him in the face.

[Steven]

Yeah. Catch.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. It's one of my favorite stories ever. I was on the phone with, I think DirecTV and I couldn't Remember what? And Frank started to bang Sheila's face. And because they have regular. And the guy on the other line had the greatest line ever. When I'm like, hey, Frank, stop your sister's face. And I didn't real. I'm like, oh, gee, sorry. And he goes, kids. Like, no. What the hell do you think happens in my house? Kids. I don't have kids. I would have dropped the phone if one of my kids was banging the other one in the face. Dogs. It's not right. But you put a stop to it. You don't marvel at it and go, oh, they're gay. Isn't that like we're supposed to think it's awesome you break that up. I don't know how you break up Manatee gay sex, but you break it up. Sonar. Some sort of blip.

[Steven]

Like everything with a crowbar.

[John Holberg]

Try that.

[John Holmberg]

Open. Yeah, it's enough of that. You know, there's tons of stories now where I'm like, it's happening a lot. Been around for a minute now. I don't know what the hell. Yeah. No. Yeah. Never once did we ever. I was in. I had agriculture class. And Ms. Larson never told us about like the gay horses. Like, she won't like that would be the thing.

[Steven]

Well, you think it'd be tough? You know, it's tough being human and being gay sometimes. At times.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine what an outcast you'd be in.

[Steven]

The animal kingdom when you need numbers. Especially if you're a chicken or a rabbit.

[John Holmberg]

And you just can't get hard for the girls. You just can't get hard for the girls. Like the stallions are like, get out of here. They got nothing.

[Steven]

He's just, hey, coyote. There's a twink den over here.

[John Holmberg]

We got to get over that. The coyote, twinks.

[Brett Vesely]

We better have Christine a little bit early today then.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Because we got a lot to cover with.

[John Holmberg]

Because they do weird stuff, animals, but you hose them off, you break it up, you know. But we are. It is a different world that I'm. I'm just. Yeah. I'm just not real comfortable with how.

[Steven]

I just want my two headed eagle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that thing was weird that you brought up. That's a strange desire. But gay animals never existed. And look, maybe Brady's right. Maybe we just pour too many pills into the. Into the sewers and they're getting there and they make them gay. I don't know. But I do know that it was never a topic. And by the way, no one cared if they were. But until I see you know, two girl animals doing it. I'm gonna feel like there's some sort of reason behind telling me about this. It's only the dudes that they care. Only the dude animals. I want to see some. Some like. Like leopards getting out of a forester and going to a WNBA game, just licking each other like crazy if that. They ever catch that where one's on his back and the other one is just devouring down there like, wow, animals are gay. But it's never the girls.

[Steven]

Different roar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they'd have a roar on them for sure. But is there lesbians in the animal kingdom? Never hear about it, but I got stories about maids.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, 80s Daryl Hannah.

[John Holmberg]

That would have been awesome.

[Steven]

But Shoes had her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so was Ariel. Ariel didn't mess with the snooch.

[Steven]

And they were there to lure the men into the water.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. That's a siren song of the mermaid that would lure you in and you would die. And deep down, that's one of those weird myths that I kind of still hope is real one of these days. Like, it's not, and I know it's not, but it would be awesome. And it would be even better if Ariel was a lesbian and there was like this thing under the sea of hot lesbian mermaids. I mean, that's just awesome.

[Steven]

That was awesome. Her legs would dry up. We should have legs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. When she got on land, she could leg up, wander around and scissor with other humans and then get back in the water. You know what isn't hot? Some sort of enclave of gay mermen. Yuck. But it is hard to think of mermaids getting it on. So if we're under the sea looking for that, fine. But just keep the manatee stories to yourself. Seen a couple of them. Like, trying to convince me dolphins are gay too. Why? What bearing does that have on us at all? And at the end of the story, it always comes up, see, it's normal. Saying it's not normal, but it's not for everybody. I'm sure there's some Republican dolphins down there that aren't real happy with this. Jesus loving dolphins are like, that is against dolphin nature down low.

[Steven]

Dolphins.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the deal. Dolphins. That's another good band name for them. But the. Yeah, I don't think that's normal. This one says, man, I thought y' all were normal until now. Cheating on your wife is one thing, but to do it with an exact carbon copy is just sick, man. It's like jerking off to your own broad. That Is true. It is. Christopher, you're not wrong.

[Comedy Announcer]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

It is weird to beat off to your own wife. That's just gross. But I'm saying if her sister rolled over in a twin joke, you wouldn't stop it as a guy, you'd let it shot. You'd see how long they'd carry it out, and you'd get yelled at in the middle. Cause it isn't. They're not normal. So it would be. It would be a complete trap. And you'd be like, all right, I'm all bonered up for this. Let's go. You're gonna do it? Yeah, I'm gonna do it, baby. Well, I'm her sister.

[Steven]

Wha.

[John Holmberg]

And then we get yelled at. You don't even know the difference. I have a mole on my left hip. She has a mole in her right hip. I'm like, yeah, but it was dark.

[Steven]

You're the one that deceived me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

This is on you.

[John Holmberg]

You guys tried this on me. You don't even care about her. All right?

[Brett Vesely]

You don't care about me.

[John Holmberg]

Are we going to do this or not? I mean, if your poopers out, let's get to work, and then we'll argue later. Taking my shots. So I should just finish this myself. You two are going to go. Bitch that I didn't know which side the mole was on, because I don't.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, I never take it back door. She did.

[John Holmberg]

That's why it was so surprising. This was great. I married the wrong one. Your sister goes everywhere. You had him in your ass. You said do everything.

[Brett Vesely]

Your sister's still single.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it would, it seems.

[Steven]

I don't want to talk about it.

[John Holmberg]

But again, that's why they're not as cool as us. Because dudes would high five. We got her. Hilarious. And we'd never talk about it again. Girls would come back and go, he didn't know he finished. Oh, my God. They'd cry and be postinos, talking about how they got to end everything. He doesn't even know the difference. I know we're twins and we did this, but, like, no, this is just bad. And don't think it has to.

[Steven]

My sister.

[John Holmberg]

You did it with my sister, you pig. She's got bangs, and I don't. I don't even know what that is. I just thought your hair looked like crap today. I didn't know banged her. Bangs are the worst. I had her. In my defense, she was facing away. How am I supposed to know her hairdo was like, remember back door? Yeah. I was hitting it from behind. I thought it was weird that the girl with bad hair wanted it in the ass all of a sudden. But I'm not going to argue. She said she wanted to try something new. That's what you just said. You guys are almost exactly the same. Give me a break. She's bald.

[Steven]

I. I couldn't tell. It's dark.

[John Holmberg]

Dark. And she. I thought you were wig. I'm not mad at you. I just want to notice different hairstyles. You know, I have my hair trimmed above my shoulders, and hers is. Okay, this is where we. This is where you lose us. We're not sure when we're supposed to comment on that stuff, but if you're mad about it, that's one thing. Here's another thing. Guy talks about jerking off to your wife and all that they have found. And I have a theory about this, too, that the people who are most likely to be unfaithful as music fans are jazz. Really? Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Never would have called that.

[John Holmberg]

I would have thought rap.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought country.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think country's on lockdown. I think they love their ladies. Maybe not the girls, though.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I mean. Well, they would keep it in the family.

[John Holmberg]

Ew. You're probably right. That's what I'm saying. Thinking about it, I'm like, you know what? Country music does have a put the jazz wonders.

[Steven]

That's why you got artists like Bony James.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Steven]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

You're a great girl. It says, yeah, jazz fans have to keep whatever's in their pants. Don't laugh at it. He'll do it again. He'll do it again. It's two days with Kirby, and he comes on Mondays with this crap. That kind of garbage right there. Is the Monday after a Kirby weekend or just stoned daughter. It's a great one, man.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Brett and John don't find these funny. Bony James, man. Great stuff, man. Kirby gets me. I'm gonna try that on Monday anyway. And you're not helping with the giggles over there. Kirby Jr. It says that they did a survey of 6,500 people who had admitted to not being faithful at one point and found that three quarters of the men. Wait, that can't be right. That's not right. It says three quarters of the men still think about that girl when they hear their favorite music because it was all music based. Jazz topped the list of seductive genres. Salsa was second. Pop music is third. Country was fourth. Rap fifth. Classical music has more wanderers. Blues, reggae, and ninth place. 98 KUPD rock and roll.

[Steven]

They're taking the sex out of rock and roll.

[John Holmberg]

Heavy metal is 12th.2% of heavy metal guys drift. And that's because there are no girls at the concerts anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you in the 80s that was different.

[Steven]

You don't. You rarely see, man, put some metal on, you'll get the chicks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they don't show up for it. So, you know, it's all just dudes yelling at their dads now. So it isn't about sex like it used to be. Rock and roll and metal used to be about, like, aggression and masculinity and women were into it. And not anymore.

[Steven]

Was too long ago. I mean, you're talking 70 years ago. I mean, rock and roll first came out. That was sexual. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was all about like devil's music. Sure. Elvis's hips going to get everybody pregnant watching tv. Country's probably the toughest one though, because they do have the current crop of hot girls. You know, you kind of have to tolerate if you're with a group of girls and stuff. I had a girl say that the other day.

[Steven]

Songs breaking a heart.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I told her, I said, ah, country music makes me sick. I like everything but country. And she goes, it's okay on a boat. And then you pictured her on a boat and you're like, yeah, I could tolerate some country music. She's right. I still don't like the music. But if she's gonna wander, if her and her friends are gonna wander around on a boat, I'm gonna just. Jason Aldean's not so bad that day. I'm gonna hate it. It's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] you.

[Comedy Announcer]

Know when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv Downtown in Cityscape, you've got stand up live and east side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe of entertainment for you and your guests. And you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com, standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com for 60 years. Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for quality, precision and power. Family owned and operated for three generations, we're proud to be a local tempe business offering the best tools and supplies for every construction job. With the largest selection of power tools in the valley. From Milwaukee to Makeda to DeWalt, we've got everything you need to get the job done right. We're known for having having everything in stock because our slogan is, if we don't have it, we can't sell it. See why we've been the Valley's go to for tools for over 60 years. Visit Fisher Tools today in store or [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

Nothing. They're gonna wander around the boat listening.

[John Holmberg]

To Slayer or no. That's the thing. Very rarely. And the ones that do. That's just a hep C. The name of the boat is hep C. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with Lycan Slayer, but if you get a gaggle of them, you very rarely get, like, swimsuit models.

[Brett Vesely]

I love Angela Death.

[John Holmberg]

Can you play that right? You don't have heavily requested that wedding. Yeah. And we as fans of it, even know there's something wrong with her. But I like angel of Death. Oh, that thing looks like braille down there. Yeah. I was surprised, though, that rock and roll is classical passed it up blues.

[Steven]

More likely to get them do the survey again.

[John Holmberg]

You think 6,500 people is a pretty big survey, that is.

[Steven]

Where were they in here, the States, or is that a Out of the country?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I don't know. It's off of a website called Metal Injection, so I think they were, like, kind of surprised themselves. Either that or they're trying to say we're the safest ones. Also, if you take a look around at a Slayer concert, it's not exactly like women are throwing themselves at those guys either, let alone the girls that would like that.

[Steven]

Because the amount of people that I'm thinking that would, you know, it's got to be percentage. The amount of people that said, oh, yeah, I really like classical music. It's such a smaller audience.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And evidently it's got to be weighted. Hosing each other like crazy. Yeah. It's percentage of people interviewed said, I like classical.

[Steven]

They're. Out of the. Out of the 10 classical music. We had two people.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it was 6,500 people that had admitted to affairs. Right. And then they broke it down on the music, and they're like, well, what music do you like prefer? And it came up jazz. Like, 19%. That's pretty big.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it more sensual?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Steven]

Like this.

[John Holmberg]

It's well.

[Steven]

Well, you think about. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cheap music. Chicks are gonna throw themselves in my car, bro.

[Byron]

It's angel of Death.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. I hate you listening to that seductive music. You're just gonna end up with some other girl.

[Steven]

Shut up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you listen to this, too? Are you a swimsuit model? Yes, I'm a temptress. Nothing's wrong with you, though. What would be wrong with me? I like this. All right. I can't resist.

[Steven]

Never forget our first dance.

[John Holmberg]

This is not cheating music. You wanna like your wife. Every wife should want you to listen to this. No woman should ever say, turn that on. Okay? This is a guarantee that nobody's gonna want to sleep. And the ones who do are so creepy, I don't want to sleep with them. So if I got a chick who's into angel at Death. Yikes. She's got one of those tattoos of a dead friend that she had ground up and stuff and made into some sort of ink.

[Brett Vesely]

What about this one?

[Steven]

It's in a vial.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she carries it on her neck. Now you got this accidental cheat. You don't even go out to try to do it. And the next thing you know, you're like, blue Rolls is on. And if you even start tapping your toe, girl across the bar is like, ooh, he's seductive. God forbid you start singing it. If there are karaoke and you do this, there's gonna be three overweight black girls and a white girl that are going home with you if you want all of them. You'll never find what's sexier to sing as long as you live. Mmm. This is definitely. Unfortunately, most people who like jazz too much are gay.

[Steven]

Well, I think that reflects too. A little bit of the age, too, because, you know, you hear about. Told about the Villages and all these old retirement that are so active. It's true.

[John Holmberg]

They're listening to.

[Steven]

You know, think about. People have been married for a long.

[John Holmberg]

Time, had it with each other. Other.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

This is kind of jazz, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's. It would be played on a jazz station, but like Kenny. Not Kenny G. David Sanborn and. Yeah, those. Like Miles Davis. Jazz is basically the angel of death of jazz. That's not. You're not getting sex from that. If you are, it's with somebody like Grace Jones. Snap your dick off. Don't want any of that. I can listen to Lou Rolls and like, blues is the surprising one that 6% of people listening to blues. But that's probably. Yeah, they're probably just sad and they did stuff because they're Sad.

[Steven]

It's got to be. And then it's also age, I think would kick in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's another one where electronica was 4% and in indie music was 3%. But I think that's just because it's a gang bang over there. Heavy metal, 2%. And heavy metal is the one that. Yeah, put that down low. But you'd think that used to be sex, drugs and rock and roll was. Not anymore. Sex, drugs and jazz. And then salsa was 14. But that's that Latin thing.

[Brett Vesely]

That's like your girl you're taking snapshots of.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's still on. Look. That's also music with her. She starts doing that little shake and you're like, it's all about nothing. I can do. The dancing is the seductive dancing that they have. There's no seductive dancing with angel of Death. You can't, like, grab a guy.

[Steven]

It's different.

[John Holmberg]

And walk her out to the floor. This one you got, you know, you're grinding a little bit, doing some sexy hip moves and stuff. Move over, angel of Death. You're just punching her in the tummy, hoping she's not pregnant. Some sort of weird heavy metal abortion. God damn, this love like mine.

[John Holberg]

Someone.

[John Holmberg]

Who needs you all that stuff. I used to love working in the same building as the Coyote because you'd go down there and just hear, like, something awesome. And it was just immediately like, boy, this sets the tone. You just wanted to light candles. Every time I went in there to, like, check a log, I'd be like, I gotta go sign a paper. Stay here for a minute.

[Brett Vesely]

Be like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I just went in there and just immediately sunk into silk. Welcome to the mighty krp.

[Steven]

And then Jeffrey Holder.

[John Holmberg]

And Jeffrey Holder. Pops.

[Steven]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the coyote, 95.5. Everything was about guttural. It makes sense.

[Steven]

Never gone away.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Smooth jazz was.

[John Holberg]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

They had some stuff like. You walked in, put on old David Sandbourne, just find one. Everything he did, you'd want. Not just a dude playing the sax. You get in there and it was like, man, this is a dreamy kind of vibe. I couldn't listen to it all the time, but when it's on, I got no complaints. I'm going to get angel of Death. And the last thing it's gonna do is moisten a woman. There's some David Sandbo, David Sanborn. This is the kind of stuff you put. Come on. When a girl's like, she's gonna be home at 5 o', clock. I'm gonna Spread some rose petals on the bed, make her a chicken marsala. I'm gonna order it and act like I made it. She comes walking in the door. What now? Angel of Death is playing. Shut it off. What? I thought I'd be Roman. And it's age. It's all of them. Yeah, it's ages 8 to 80. Everybody's like calmer, happier, but you can't listen to it all the time.

[Steven]

Went to a big surge in the. The.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, the 90s, the movies.

[Steven]

You had to have the sax on them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sexy. Oh, very rarely. The angel of Death playing in the sex. I remember Tom Beringer.

[Steven]

You're kissing the curb on that one.

[John Holmberg]

Tom Beringer and Greta Scotchi in that movie. Listening to angel of Death, making sweet love in those silk sheets. I'm gonna listen to some jazz today and watch that girl try to flash me. Oh, yeah. Salsa's second. Country and pop third and fourth. Pop music's a little bit odd. I think that's just a young thing. Like they get excited around each other and they're all hormonal.

[Steven]

I'm surprised the pop was over like the R B for some reason, the R B.

[John Holmberg]

Because jazz, I think they might has.

[Steven]

An R B, you know, feel to it sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think pop and R B kind of. I don't know, they didn't include it. It's not in there because.

[Steven]

Because now you're talking about the ballads.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, R B is definitely a good thing. Blues and that's. Yeah, classical music's the one. You're right. That kind of gets into the 60 year olds that are tired of each other and they start and go to other people's houses for a old fashioned and then the guy like this professor's just banging away. Oh, Jodeci. No, Color me bad. Color Me bad. That's right. Oh, that's right. Forgot about that weird white dude. He's dead now. We could do this for the night of the single. Chicks ate this. But again, this was the smart thing back, you know, grind up against you changed everything. Anyway, that's where that lives at PM Dawn.

[Steven]

That's a hybrid.

[John Holmberg]

PM dawn was. That was more like political though, this one. Yeah. Then they had like some on them. Weren't they upset about stuff too, though?

[Steven]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

This was just too fast.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

This. This was just like words from Bubbles. Like. I don't remember this having any meaning. It just had a second. Just had a cool beat and a.

[Steven]

Great beat because it's Spand out ballet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a solid one right there. But these guys just start talking about nonsense in the middle. Yeah, I wish they'd shut up.

[Brett Vesely]

Just give me the instrumental.

[Steven]

Give me that.

[John Holmberg]

You got a cool vibe going here, Henry. Out of memory. Yeah, it's like dudes trying lines on you and they're not working. Yeah, they're wooing, and I ain't getting wooed. But jazz and sexes. This guy said, this is the. Jazz is the reason the Weather Channel music makes me feel funny in my pants. It is when they play the temperatures across the country and they have that jazz in the pants. Maybe that's it. You'd have hard watching weather. Stupid. Anyway, thought that was a strange thing. An interesting study. While we all kind of navigate the world with gay mermaids and manatees and.

[Brett Vesely]

All, now they're all suggesting their songs. So here's another one.

[John Holmberg]

None of it's angel of Death. Oh, this one Jodeci was. I knew a girl who, like, she would say it. If Jodeci comes out in the car, I'm going to F you. I'm like, we can't do that. Oh, I tried to drive her around a lot to find Jodeci. I didn't have a Jodeci table.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on, Bruce.

[John Holmberg]

Kelly, come on. Jesus, Bruce, zip your pants and put that thing away and get some Jodeci on.

[Steven]

Too late.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. Bruce is standing outside with his dick out again. All I needed. Yeah, she was a sexy hostess, but she would say that. Oh, if I'm in the car and Jodeci's on, I'm. I'm out of control.

[Steven]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what it meant. You don't see that with angel of Death. You don't. You don't see that anal C word. There's something. Something. Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] it's.

[John Holberg]

John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness, and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new [e-mail]. here's the proof that me talking about something on radio can be trusted, because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping, and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Now little old me choose lifted trucks and lifted trucks. Dot com.

[John Holmberg]

Work hard, play hard, drive harder.

[John Holberg]

It's John Holmerg here. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins and my home group and Doug hopkins.com 2026 brand new year. That usually means every one of us says something.

[John Holmberg]

This is the year I blank and then we insert some strange goal.

[John Holberg]

Let me tell you this, most of the time you're not going to do it. This year I'm going to call TV's Doug Hawkins. He will buy your home as is. You can start eyeballing houses that are already upgraded. So fresh starts for 2026 are waiting for you at your keyboard. Start the process right now online Doug hopkins.com or sing hopkins1,800, sale now Holmberg's.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness not a lot of normal chicks coming your way.

[Steven]

Room with prism sex.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Tooling getting you laid by anything. Sexy girls can like tool but very rarely are they, you know.

[Steven]

And it's not really the design.

[John Holmberg]

No, but exactly. It's for dudes to be mad at their parents. Very rarely is there a. A gaggle of 25 year old models hanging out at a tool concert just looking for D. You think about the.

[Steven]

You know, crossover bands in that room like gnr.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that was.

[Steven]

That worked for the ladies.

[John Holmberg]

That was right at the end there. Yeah, that was right there at that 80s thing when the dudes looked like women, like they were taking fashion advice from these bands.

[Steven]

Yeah, that's true. There was a little bit wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was a lot of androgyny going on and the ladies loved it because they were singing about sex and fun. That was the last time rock music was a blast and it was not aged well. But you go back and listen to.

[Steven]

And they tried to do what they could to tarnish it.

[John Holmberg]

Showing up late, everything to ruin it. But that was the drugs and the, you know, these guys can't get on stage on time because they're boning everybody. Good for them. All the videos were just hot chicks going backstage. I was like, man, they're living the life. Everybody, every dude wanted to be them. Everyone wanted to be with them. And they'd sing about parties and sex and fun. And then every once in a while a ballad to let him know, I'm sad sometimes. And women would eat that alive. And then Nirvana came along and said everybody stinks. And I'm like, it's good music. But we all fell into that grunge thing and it hasn't been fun since. It's good, but not fun. Pop got stronger except for like A Day to Remember and then who sings that mantra song? I just saw them bring me the horizon. God damn. They brought fun and energy, but they're not singing about, like, love and stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

But then you had, like, the old Poison videos and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

And that's. That's Brett Michaels. He's gorgeous. I didn't know that was a guy until he'd saw him with his shirt off. And look at what he's in bed with. Outrageously hot Paul Stanley. Yeah, it doesn't look a little bit outrageously. Is that a fella? Before I start talking. They had such amazing hair. And then this. Yeah. And. Oh, and this is to let the ladies know. You know what? I sing about sex and partying all the time, but deep down, I just want someone to love. We both lie silently still in the dinner. Pause the video. Although we both like pills close together, we feel miles apart.

[Brett Vesely]

Stemming's ears are perking up right now.

[John Holmberg]

The best thing about this is this song is actually about the girl he left behind. When he's on the road. I know you know I'm boning like crazy But I'm thinking of you. But I guess that's why they say I can't do it.

[Brett Vesely]

Leave your shirt on. Yeah.

[Steven]

That's why you pay me 600% more.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't understand, like, every time I have sex on the road, I'm thinking about you. I wrote a song about it. Just like every cowboy. These dudes had magic powers over the ladies.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Back in the day, I mean, dudes from Faster Pussycats sang about not having a dad and chicks melted. He's going through something crazy. Anyway, it's not jazz. I wonder what that would have. Like people like back in the 80s. 80s, that had to be the number one slip up music like Odd Boy, because every band had the same formula. Three or four songs talking about how much they want to bang it, and then one song about, oh, geez, I just want one. I just want a beautiful lady to live with forever. Everything was veiled and dirty. Look at them. And they all. In the video, they all look worn out from all the sex they're having. They just look for a steady, steady lady.

[Brett Vesely]

Like where the roadies pull them off stage because they've just collapsed, working too much.

[John Holmberg]

They gave it to you. They gave you all they got. Now they're gonna try to go have sex with some groupies, service the fans. I'll be thinking of you Every time I thrust in. You'll be on my mind. And they ate it up. And then somewhere along the Line. Pearl Jam came along and said, don't you hate your dad? And then ever from there on they're like, yup, that's all rock became. We need some dudes to come back, start singing about.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me pull you off stage right here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, look at this. That's right. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You remember this?

[John Holmberg]

He's. Yeah, he's fainted. Brodies have to carry poisons. It's not because look at the girls are crying. He's going through them and he's going to. But really what he's going through is like heroin. Just finally that's all he could handle.

[Brett Vesely]

All the shots from the clap that he got on the tour.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the clap finally dizzied him. Eventually syphilis knocks you out. Talk about vaccines. I mean these dudes. Anyway Brett, you make a good point with poison. We used to be able to do that. No, can't find that anymore. Somebody actually pointed out something I said. I thought about this yesterday too. My, my, my earlier statement in the year is that you can't ever win a championship in football with a ginger quarterback maybe coming to an end. Sam Darling looks pretty solid. He looks pretty solid right now. Starting to make me question whether or not he's a legitimate ginger. He just might be an ugly like brown haired guy. He's ginger alright. And I said it before it break.

[Steven]

It would break the curse.

[John Holmberg]

The curse is gingers. No championships. And somebody always brings up Canelo Alvarez in boxing. That's an individual effort. I'm talking in team sports. When you've got a leader who's a ginger, you don't win titles solo. Different sir. Baseball's different too. But football you got like the quarterback. Not winning with a ginger quarterback. Not happening. Just not happening. This might break it. Sam Darnold might. I mean we talk about Doug Williams being the first black quarterback to break that ceiling. Sam Darnold's the first ginger like to get this far even. And we've had some 15 year old.

[Steven]

Drake May could do it, you know. You know.

[John Holmberg]

No, that team's seemingly in way over there. What I watched yesterday was a different game than what I watched in the afternoon. That garbage show they put on for the AFC championship game. I want him to replay it just for my entertainment.

[Steven]

Thought maybe there was a little thing going on with steady Stidham when he threw that long pass.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was a great throw. And then they were done.

[Steven]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. Carson Palmer. They consider him a ginger. Andy Dalton, who's the gingeriest ginger of all? I still sometimes play The Andy Griffith theme song for Opie when we want an interception from the Bengals because he still curses them with his ginger. Cooper Rush. Never going to get a title. Brandon Weeden, remember him? Jason Garrett. Cody Mott.

[Steven]

Don't know that one.

[John Holmberg]

There's Sant. There is Sam Darnold. Yeah, close. He's not like, full freckly ginger, but he's gingery. There have not been many NFL gingers. Don't win titles with an NFL ginger at the helm, head coach or otherwise.

[Brett Vesely]

There's Brandon.

[John Holmberg]

Brandon Wheaton was the one who. He was the first one that, like, came out of college when he was 26. Sonny Jurgensen. That. That count? That didn't count because it was, like, ages before we cared. And there's been a few Dan Coppins. One that, you know, the guys that are. Jesus Christ.

[Steven]

What's. That Brings it.

[John Holmberg]

Ethan Albright.

[Steven]

Albright.

[John Holmberg]

He played for the Redskins. Boy, did he. He wasn't allowed to play day games. That dude skin would burst into flames.

[Brett Vesely]

This is just the NFL salute to Ginger.

[John Holmberg]

So, yeah, you can't have a quarterback, Ginger. You can have a quarterback. Yeah, you can't have a quarterback, Ginger. Has to be. Look at Andy Dalton. That dude is a red from Star Trek.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It doesn't look. I would say that no one would believe. That's good hair. Get a different wig. Yeah, you can have dudes that are, you know, on the team, but John Beck. I'll even go so far as to say you can't have more than three, because that's a coven. And the next thing you know, you got witchcraft coming in. And you can't have one leading the way. But Sam Darnold might wreck that. And Toledo's gonna start begging for money and time off. I think he thinks he's going to Santa Clara.

[Steven]

He was dropping some hints last night.

[John Holmberg]

Was he?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He asked if Doug Hopkins would pay for a trip for him to go to the Super Bowl. Like, why don't you do it? Why do we need socialism? Because you're. That's your wife's idea. That's AOC in your house. That's saying, have someone else pay for this trip. I think he's gonna do it. And that's silly, because right now it.

[Steven]

Has a feeling like it's gonna be like the 85 Bears. The Patriots.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good. The 40th anniversary of that, too. I'm fine with that. I just can't have The Patriots. The 12th Super Bowl. I can't have them winning. They can't do it. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert? All right, wake up.

[Brett Vesely]

Brought to you by us, as a matter of fact.

[John Holmberg]

So.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, us.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

We're bringing you guys this one.

[Steven]

Cool.

[Brett Vesely]

Especially this one, because Duran Duran, Girls on Film for you and your Instagram.

[John Holmberg]

Broad addicted.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Mud Vein, Death Clock, Electric Callboy, Black Sabbath, Snowblind for all that Weather Back East, Volbeat, Slayer, angel of Death. On the list, of course. Now Fozzie Architects, Metallica, Judas Priest, Turbo for all the Gay Animals, New Clutch. And then, since it's Eddie Van Halen's birthday, Running with the Devil.

[John Holmberg]

We played a Lean Streets. There's another one. People are emailing me like crazy.

[Comedy Announcer]

What's the girl?

[John Holmberg]

You're only J, U dot, R, E, T O, S. And don't email me later. She don't even get naked. That's the point of the game. She does little quick flashes. You gotta find them. It's like Where's Waldo? Only it's her snooch. And occasionally a nipple. She did a trucker hat one that was kind of cool. You could kind of see her boobs through the trucker hat. You gotta catch that. It's a game, and I don't want to hear from people going, oh, if you hit the little three dots on the bottom. And I know the sequencing thing. I could, but what's the fun in that? That's like being allowed to touch the strippers. Like, there's a certain distance here. There's a wall that's between us that I'm getting away with something by.

[Steven]

Drink your Snapple and take your shots.

[John Holmberg]

Take your shots, man. Have fun with it. But I don't want to hear from everybody. Why would you do that when you.

[Comedy Announcer]

Can just look at them?

[John Holmberg]

Like, I'm not into it. Like, I know porn exists. I like the game.

[Steven]

It's fun.

[John Holmberg]

Especially when she looks like that. She got that voice. My God, I'm becoming a sucker for the voice. Instagram's taught me that. You got a good voice. I kind of melt a little bit when I'm trying to get pictures of your snooch. You know, it's safe. It's a screen. Big deal. All right, what do you want to do, Brett? Anything.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm good with most of it. Doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do a little Van Halen again. All right, do we do Running with the Devil? We could pick one. What's a good one for Eddie?

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, everybody else.

[John Holmberg]

Eruption's great, but it leads into. Yeah, you know, you really Got me. Really got me Unchained.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody wants some mean streets earlier.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You want to stay with early or you want to go?

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm trying to think of.

[Brett Vesely]

This Van Hager, like humans beings was cool.

[John Holmberg]

Human beings being is good. Let's go with that. Human being because that's got a cool guitar in it. That's when they kind of brought that back. That is a great time. All right. Humans being got it right here. Glorious. How old would have Eddie been?

[Steven]

71.

[John Holmberg]

71. How about that? It's Van Halen for eddie's birthday. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Steven]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[John Holberg]

It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group And Doug Hopkins. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna sell my house? Of course you have.

[John Holberg]

And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price or you get $5,000.

[John Holmberg]

What do you do?

[John Holberg]

Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing. It's John Holmer here from the morning Sickness to tell you about Game Day men's health. Game Day men's health is a life changer. For a lot of you guys out there who've hit a certain age, we won't mention it. Maybe you don't recover from workouts as well. Maybe you just don't feel like you're you. I wasn't recovering from workouts and I.

[John Holmberg]

Didn'T feel as good.

[John Holberg]

I got on Samorelin, which is an awesome peptide.

[John Holmberg]

It feels great.

[John Holberg]

My skin feels cleaner. I feel better about me. Don't let age be a number that stops you from doing stuff. Head on down to game day men's health and get yourself back to in you. Gamedaymenshealth. Com.